InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ My Hatred, My Obsession ❯ The Return ( Chapter 7 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Oh my gosh, you guys! I really didn't expect all of these wonderful responses, but you guys made me want to update sooner!
I promise that it's not just empty words when I say that reviews hasten the process. They really do! I nearly fell of my chair from all the feedback and also, if you will believe it, you guys gave me some great ideas for the next chapters!
Thank you so much!
Ahem! Now I guess it's my turn to do some explaining. This is all I can say without giving anything away:
Sesshoumaru wantedto kill Kagome when he attacked her. He left her for dead and was surprised to find her alive. Maybe - or I should say more than likely - it was my fault, but Sesshoumaru isn't leaving Kagome in the last chapter. He told her that he would take her back to his brother. Sorry about that! My fault for the misunderstanding: ) All things with the creatures, Kagome's weird powers, and what happened between her and Sesshoumaru will be explained, but it probably won't happen for a few chapters yet. Despite how it may seem, keeping this knowledge from my readers doeshave a point in the plot. Thank you very much for hurrying me up though, since this gives me some great insight to what you guys think: )
Alright! Now onto the story: D
(……………………R 30;…………………………&# 8230;…………..)
My Hatred, My Obsession
Chapter 7 - The Return
She really should have learned that to expect anything from him was like hoping a tornado would go around your house instead of destroying it. But she didn't understand him - wanted to understand him, but didn't know where to start. Such a goal was impossible, she realized, no matter how stubborn she was by nature and how much she believed she could accomplish it. He had too many sides to him, too many angles and turns - like a winding road that had no signs to give directions to those unfortunate travelers who lost their way upon it.
It was too easy to believe that he had emotions hidden beneath that empty white cloak of his; too simple to think that he would - or could - get used to someone who followed him as she did, and eventually give her at least some insight into his perspective on life. Only someone with a simple mind could think that way. But he was much more complicated than that.
It was almost as if nothing around him pleased him, that nothing in this world was good enough for him - but not because he was arrogant like she first thought, but for some other incomprehensible reason that was to forever remain a mystery - like a group of ancient hieroglyphics that could not be translated.
He bore the image of a creature whose shoulders were burdened with the weight of its entire species. As his elegant face was illuminated by the rays of that morning, Kagome realized just how lonely he truly looked. Standing there, in his solitary beauty, his broad shoulders, thick armor, and stern, hawk-like gaze did not radiate power as much as they did weariness. She hadn't before considered the possibility that he could himself feel anything other than irritation or blood-lust. He was a youkai: emotionless and cruel, and that was the way she had always seen him.
Ever since they met, she felt more discomfort around him than fear. She did not like witnessing Inuyasha's open hostility for him, and the tai-youkai's own hatred for his brother. During their fights, as much as she was ashamed to admit it, she had always known that there was no way the hot-headed half-demon could defeat a calculating mind like Sesshoumaru, and the desire to simply jump between them was so strong that she had often had to hold onto a tree to avoid risking her life.
He was never surprised, never scared, never affected by anything around him any more than he wanted to be. It was his choice whether he allowed something to be his busyness or not, and that had continually fooled her into thinking that he was invincible. But now, as the sun was pulled by the chains of fate to give its light to Earth, Kagome was tempted to believe that she had never been more wrong.
I will not hurt you.
You will return to my half-witted brother on the morrow.
Something inside of her felt like it was being torn apart to watch his lone figure observing his surroundings with an outwardly disinterested eye. It was foolish to think that he would care, that he would go do something out of his way for someone. Yet her mind kept returning to the little girl that she had seen traveling with him on more than one occasion. She knew nothing of their history, but she would be a liar if she said she didn't want to. He had saved the both of them when they had been kidnapped by Takemaru in the battle for Sou'unga, and Kagome had witnessed just how much Rin trusted her lord.
She had never been great at solving mysteries, and she didn't pride herself on a quick mind, but in her opinion, something as completely oxymoronic as the situation of Sesshoumaru and Rin would probably have been beyond even Sherlock Holmes' explanation.
She heard him shifting and they were once again deadlocked in a gaze of conflicting opinions. His eyes still unnerved her, made her feel like a mouse about to be eaten by a cat, but for some reason, she could not feel the same terror she had before. Those twin ambers shone with something that she could never hope to identify, and made her wonder if something more dazzling than the piercing power of them existed on the planet. She was caught - mesmerized like some shrew in the hypnotic and paralyzing penetration of a snake.
That's what he's doing…he's looking - penetrating - into my soul.
Despite her overpowering need to look away from the depth in that look, she refused to back down. She met his eyes with her own display of determination, and felt proud that she could accomplish it. Soon, she realized that he would not look away first, and she briefly pondered how long they would stand here. She didn't really mind, though, since it felt like she was somehow getting to know him in a way that she would never be able to under normal circumstances.
“Come.” The command was soft but firm. His tone was quiet, reserved, and utterly devoid of any feelings. She wondered suddenly how it was that he had come to be so numb. What could have possibly driven him to such a height of aloofness? She could only guess, and he certainly wasn't about to share.
(……………………R 30;.)
It looked like the sun hadn't been too happy to be dragged out of its peaceful slumber. It gave off enough heat to evaporate gold, and Kagome thought that she really wasn't going to survive the day. She had never seen a day in the Feudal Era that had been this miserably hot and sticky in all the time she'd traveled here. Her clothes - which she had worn for two days in a row now - stuck to her body like a second skin. She was sure that she would either have a heat seizure or would die from not taking some form of bath in nearly three days.
But the Gods took mercy on her, and by midday, they came to a tiny hot spring. She was so relieved and ready to snap, that if she hadn't stopped herself, she would have undressed right in front of her “companion”. Chiding herself severely and mentally slapping herself for her carelessness, she asked him to turn around - a request that he seemed willing to obey. She sighed in relief and in seconds, she was sitting in the more than welcome warm water, feeling like she would be the one to evaporate. She thought about all of the events of the day and ran her hand through her hair in attempt to ease the ache there.
Dunking under the water, she rubbed her hair vigorously, seeking to rid it of the grime and sweat that had nearly made her sick. Once she was on the surface, she gathered some water in her hands and splashed it on her face, reveling in the incredible feeling of freshness that the simple action gave. Settling back against a rock to enjoy the little comfort that life decided to kindly give, she at last allowed herself to think about things in peace.
Even though Sesshoumaru had made it clear that she would return to Inuyasha today, the way they were going didn't resemble the path to Kaede's village, or Inuyasha's Forest. Kagome prided herself on her uncanny sense of direction, and judging from the stars and the rugged landscape, they were heading somewhere east. Less and less greenery inhabited these lands - almost as if a plague of dryness had covered it and wiped out all living things. When she had spotted this little spring in the middle of nowhere, she had assumed that it was all some sick hallucination - forgetting, of course, that there were such things as Oases in all deserts.
During their travels, Kagome had often - either to ease the pain of such exhausting treks or to simply occupy the time - found herself thinking of Inuyasha. If she really thought about it, it was not so unusual for him to uninvitedly roam the confines of her mind. He was not always welcome, for sometimes or - to be more precise - most of the time, Kikyo was with him. She had had plenty of opportunities to think about all three of them, and had to admit that loving him was no longer as easy as it had been.
How long ago had she promised him to be by his side? How many times had she told herself that she would do anything just to make him happy? Every time he left, no matter what she preached to herself about selflessness and the importance of letting your loved one go, his absence made the crater of loneliness grow more and more. Was it so wrong to wish for happiness? Was it such a sin to hate being so benevolent towards the one person who she loved so much?
Four long years had passed since the naive girl of fifteen had fallen through the well into this time. She had been like Alice falling into the rabbit hole - a girl landing from an organized world of schoolbooks and gossip into one of chaos and endless war. She had been terrified, of course, and who else was there to ease her sorrow but the handsome Inuyasha? It would appear unnatural, but his annoying rudeness and oftentimes unpleasant bluntness had won her over. But it hadn't been until the meeting with Kikyo and Kagome's discovery of their tragic past that she had realized and come to terms with the love she felt for him, and it had taken her this long to even consider that the same love might prove to be hopeless.
No matter that Inuyasha might feel anything for her; he would always return to Kikyo. Their love was a boomerang, thrown into the wind by Naraku's own hand when he had set both of them up against each other. Kagome could hope all she wanted for it to never return, but as all boomerangs did, so would this one. She had thought over all the possibilities in her head in this large span of time, and had come to the same conclusion.
The possibilities were endless, of course. Inuyasha could one day admit his feelings for her out of circumstance - his jealousy when Koga came, for example. Or she could admit her own feelings, jump over the cliff, and wait for him to return them and catch her. She could envision their future if those feelings were returned. They would most likely finish gathering the shards and settle down together as mates. They could build a family and be together, but she would grow old and eventually, her looks would fade. She did not think of herself as being pretty, but she knew that no matter how beautiful anyone was, wrinkles did not flatter.
And then there would be Kikyo.
Kikyo, who would not age and would be forever blooming in her own natural allure. He would love her - Kagome - in all those long years, of this she had no doubt. But in the back of his mind would always be the nagging question, the damning possibility that even now drove him to seek out the dead miko:
What could have been?
It was a doubt that anyone would be drawn to. The “what-if's” were always more powerful than the “what-are's”. He would not leave his family for her, would not abandon his children and his mate for his lost love, but he would see her, would go to her at night and be with her, suffering because he wasn't free to truly love her as he wished. It didn't matter how much she wanted him; Kagome could never chain him in such a way. She could not put the burden of her love on him for he could never forget his Kikyo and what could have been had Naraku not come along.
But she would be damned if she said it didn't hurt to watch him go to her, and worse, feel guilty when he did. She hated his pity, and that's just what it was. She was sloppy seconds, someone that he could never feel such a fire for. She had to give him credit, however. She knew that she was more than just a “shard-detector” to him, for he had proven so many times to her that she meant much more to him than that. But always, she was second.
Kagome sighed, sinking back into the water.
Maybe I'm just tired of all this.
The steam from the water made her vision hazy, and she found that she could no longer keep her eyes open. Leaning back against the rocks behind her, she decided that it would be harmless to just close her eyes for a little bit. Maybe it was the weight of all her thoughts that pushed her eyelids down against her will, or maybe it was the fact that Sesshoumaru simply did not take the time to consider that she did not have an inexhaustible supply of energy - but whatever it was, she could only obey as her body drifted into a peaceful slumber.
She really should have considered the dangers of falling asleep naked, in the water, and completely unprotected, but as the reader may know, Kagome did not always think twice before doing something.
(……………………R 30;………………………….. )
Dark eyes watched her from atop one of the sparse trees. It had no worries of being seen, for the only one who could pull that off was slumbering, careless of the dangers around her. The figures were no more than ripples in the air - slight disturbances that could be attributed to the haze of the heat. The demon lord would suspect nothing.
The hideous demons looked at each other with their blank eyes, and their misshapen mouths curved up to reveal sharp fangs. One nudged the other and both cackled in their silent mirth. But there was one…one who sat away from them. He could no longer have their humor. All that was left in him was vengeance and anger for the girl who dared to nearly steal his life. He turned to his minions and they instantly turned serious.
Her…it said.
She will give her blood so that the hunt may begin…
(……………………R 30;………………….)
The woman was more moronic than he had first thought. He watched her sleep in the spring, the heat of the water making her skin flush a light red. He was a little surprised to realize that her body, for the moment, did not interest him sexually as it had before in the woods. Despite this, his eyes took in her form. He had never simply taken the time to examine a human, and was alarmed that such a pastime would interest him at all.
She had unusually long eyelashes, dark as her hair, that rested like royal fans on her cheeks. Her lips were swollen and large - something that was considered unattractive in youkai terms. Her cheekbones were high, however, and her chin was delicate, so he supposed that those features made up for any downfalls.
He moved downwards.
Her neck was long and slender, leading down to graceful shoulders and long arms. Through the clear water, he could see she had a slim waist and shapely legs, but her hips - even though they tapered quite nicely from her waist - were still too small. The same could be said for her breasts, although that particular flaw could be attributed to her young age.
She chose that moment to stir. He dropped the bag he was holding and left her, thinking that it would be best to avoid a scandal if she spotted him watching her. He really could not understand her modesty, for she should be honored that he had even taken interest. As odd as it was, he had taken some interest in her. But it wasn't so much a sexual interest as it was something else.
She was irritating, a little addled in her head, clumsy, and he could probably go as far as calling her interesting. He was practical, and therefore would not begin to deny the fact that she had caught his eye. But that was all it was. She had merely…intrigued him on a base level.
The invisible foes they had come across more than a day ago had given him more trouble than he had thought. The girl had shown some interesting abilities concerning them, and he wondered if he was making a mistake in returning her to his brother. But she had gotten in the way of things, with her barrier and her attempts to call the creatures to her. He had ended up having to put in more effort than was necessary to destroy the monstrosities that made a horrible noise as soon as she tried to what she called “save him”.
Do you have something to protect?
His father's last words to him rang in his mind. They stirred up memories that were useless and unwelcome. He supposed that he should be returning to his home soon, for Jakken could not be trusted with things for any extended period of time. He had been away for several months already, and he could imagine the amount of work that had built up in that time. Besides, he had to ascertain that his charge was not wreaking havoc upon the inhabitants of his castle, for she was known to do just that in his absence.
Unbidden, the image of the woman sleeping in the water appeared before his eyes and he had to trample it down with more force that was normally necessary to control pointless thoughts.
Do you have something to protect?
Indignation mushroomed in his chest.
“Ridiculous.”
(……………………R 30;…………………………&# 8230;)
The bushes were thick and prickly, biting her skin with little stinging nips. She heard her heart thudding heavily in her chest, her breathing labored, and her eyes straining to see through the green leaves of the shrub. She heard twigs snapping and forced herself to calm the puffs of air leaving her lips.
One mistake could end everything.
It was obvious that he was close. His footsteps slipped over dry leaves, slow and steady. She heard him sniffing, and although she knew he could probably smell her, she stopped her breathing altogether.
The footsteps came closer, and closer, and closer, until she could see his clothing and feet right in front of her. She heard a dangerous, low, growl and she realized that it was over. Refusing to simply give up, she shoved her body out of the bush and made a break for the next tree, running in zigzags and making many confusing turns to throw him off.
Her lungs burned with the need for oxygen and she stopped, her muscles sore from all the running. She put her hands on her knees and panted, thinking that she kind of sounded like a dog after a tiring walk.
Whew! I think I lost him…
Her stomach churned with adrenaline, and she realized that the only time she had ever been this nervous was when she had lost all ten of her textbooks to the carelessness of a certain hanyou and had been forced to explain it to her mother. Needless to say, that hadn't been a very pleasant experience, and there hadn't been a happy ending in sight. She presumed - or rather, was certain - that it would be the same in this situation as well.
Another twig snapped and she cursed herself for delaying. She should have known that there was no way to lose him, but before she even got two steps from her previous position, she was pummeled to the ground, falling nearly flat on her face with his weight on top of her.
“I got you, Mami!” Kagome giggled when Shippo began to tickle her senseless and turned over to get her revenge. She knew she it was childish to actually have fun playing hide-and-seek with a little kid, but at the moment, she didn't care! The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and she was regressing to a time when she didn't have to worry about jewel shards and battles. With Shippo, she was simply Kagome - or “Mami”, as he had taken to calling her.
“It's not fair, Shippo!” Kagome gasped in between fits of laughter, “You cheated!” The little kit made a face.
“I'm a demon. It's not like you can tell me not to use my nose and I won't use it!” At Kagome's skeptical look, his mouth upturned into something that was frighteningly close to resembling the smirk Inuyasha had on his face when he planned to kick a demon's ass. “Besides, Mami, it's not like I can help it. You smell really strong!” She gasped, and he braced himself for it…
“Oh, that's it!” And then it was he who was laughing and screaming as she avenged her honor. When it was all over, they lay on the ground, enjoying the soft and cool feeling of the grass still wet from the morning dew. Spring was quickly turning into summer, but none of the trees were ready to relinquish their blooms. The sky was completely devoid of any clouds, the breeze gentle and comfortably chilly.
“This is nice, isn't it Shippo?” She waited for an answer, but when none came, she turned around to find Shippo gone. She sat up, suddenly a little nervous. “Shippo?” Glancing around, she found no trace of the kit. “Shippo, this isn't funny…” Then everything went black.
It was as dark as a city after a full-blown blackout, as if some divine hand had pulled the cord to turn the lights of her mind off. Her eyes saw nothing, her ears heard nothing. It was as if all her senses had been numbed. What was happening? Where was she?
Miko…open your eyes…
Where am I?
Open your eyes…
(……………………R 30;……………..)
Kagome gasped and sat up as quickly as a drowning woman who had just reached the surface of the water. Her eyes snapped open and she wildly searched her surroundings for any danger. It took a few moments for her mind to register that she had just awakened from a dream. Her heart thundered a storm through her body and she found that she was breathless.
She scolded herself severely for falling asleep in the water, but her less rational side reminded her that she had needed the rest. She once again relaxed against the rock, thinking that a hot spring was much better than a bath since the water didn't cool off as time passed. She brought her hands to her face, wrinkling her nose at the pruny texture of her skin.
“I guess I have to get out now…” She stood up gingerly, for the action caused a spell of dizziness that she hadn't expected. There was a lurch in her stomach and she tensed up, covering her chest with her hands and turning to the tops of the three or four trees above her. Her eyes narrowed and to the beasts at which the gaze was directed, she was the image of doom. Even the leader of them shrunk back, thanking the gods that he had the ability to blend in with his surroundings.
Kagome knew that there was something there. She was as sure as day that she had felt for a moment the same evil jaki that those invisible monsters possessed. Taking another step, she found herself wishing that she knew how to control that barrier power - hell, she'd settle for the ability to control any part of her limited powers. Not losing eye contract with the tree line, she continued to step towards the shore, fear making her clumsy.
There was that same tug on her soul as before, and even though she was hot from the water, the same creepy coldness once again made its home in her heart. She shivered, cursing Lady Luck for breaking her arrows and herself for being so helpless. She was sure that if those things attacked now, she would be completely at their mercy. She took another step backwards…
And fell.
“Aeee!” She screwed her eyes closed, her face resembling a child getting a shot, and waited for the pain.
It never came.
She cracked open her eyes only to see a pair of white sleeves wrapped around her. At first, she was too shocked to say anything, or to really understand what had transpired. She was on the shore - or close to it - and there was someone holding her. As the pieces of the puzzle began to fit together, she felt like screaming all over again. Her skin caught fire from her mortification, but when she looked up to yell at her savior, she saw that he wasn't even looking at her.
His eyes were trained on the same spot that she had been scrutinizing only seconds before. The hands holding her up were tense and hard, and suddenly, Kagome knew that her suspicions were confirmed. The wind picked up and gently caressed the twin figures on the shore. Both pairs of eyes were wary as they searched every leaf, every twig, every branch for enemies. Kagome leaned against Sesshoumaru, all embarrassment nearly forgotten, turning her head to whisper a question:
“Do you sense them too, Sesshoumaru?” He gave no outward sign of hearing her at all. The Great Youkai Lord was as still as death, and Kagome couldn't help but feel the traitorous worm of fear squirming out. She snapped her head back to the tree line, hoping beyond hope that there was nothing there and that she could get dressed.
(……………………R 30;…………..)
Her…
Her…
Her…
All three soundless voices chanted only a single word as they drank in the image of the girl. The leader was surprised - shocked that she could sense them, and even more shocked that she had been able to snap out of his illusion. The little miko was apparently more powerful than he had thought her to be. Then again…all those rumors about her being the mistress of the shards had to have some truth in their origin.
The corner of his lips turned into a smirk as he eyed the fear on her face. Perhaps this would be more fun than he imagined; perhaps this really would be a hunt after all. He felt an urge of possessiveness towards her. She was his. His prey. If he was under different circumstances, he might have just attacked her, but in this case, he simply wanted to give her a taste of what was to come. The youkai would be no trouble, of course, as the last battle had proven effectively, so he ignored him for now.
Gathering some of the energy he had managed to steal from her, he used his limited connection to tug and pull on the cord of her bond with the jewel. He not only saw her reaction - he felt it. Her mouth opened in a silent scream and her instinctive barrier came up to protect her soul. He saw her bring her hands to her face, saw the blood coming from her ears and licked his lips in the euphoria of giving her pain.
Soon, little miko…soon…I will have your eyes… and your soul…
(……………………R 30;…………………)
Well…I guess this is where I say “To Be Continued”…
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