InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ My Last Breath ❯ My Last Breath ( Chapter 1 )
[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]
By: cowboy-bebop-ed 
songfic to evanescence "my last breath"
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Romance | Type: Songfic | Uploaded On: 12.22.2005 | Updated On: 12.22.2005 | Pages: 1 | Words: 3.5K | Visits: 394 | Status: Completed
songfic to evanescence "my last breath"
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Romance | Type: Songfic | Uploaded On: 12.22.2005 | Updated On: 12.22.2005 | Pages: 1 | Words: 3.5K | Visits: 394 | Status: Completed
MY LAST BREATH
Hold on to me love
You know I can't stay long
All I wanted to say was
I love you and I'm not afraid
As all things age, all things too wither and die away into the dust of nothingness. And into the wind it will fade. These are things the nearly immortal youkai see everyday as they are normally the bearers of the death. But some youkai forbid themselves from killing their counterparts, the human mortals. This youkai had saved her and for that she knew him as her savior, the man who brought her back from the netherworld. To her she could not care less if he were a demon or a human or any mixture between. She was her lord and master and she would follow him for the rest of her living days, and her spirit watch over him from beyond her grave site.
Years have long past as a girl became a woman in a sense, and she followed behind her beloved savior and his faithful vassal, her Master Jaken. She stood many times Jaken's own height now and with that he marked off the years. She was at least sixteen now. But Jaken was never to sure of mortals, especially this one, young Rin. Today she wasn't quiet her happy, bubbly self. She walked quietly behind her masters and held her hands together behind her back. She kept a sad expression on her long face as her long locks of brown hair fell forward into her vision. Her chocolate brown eyes were kept steady on the heals of a tall man with white hair longer than her own. He too, was silent, but it was as always. Rin had been like this for the past few nights, quiet and sad. Nothing out of the ordinary had happened as Jaken recalled. Nothing at all. He sighed and changed his Staff of Two Heads into his left hand from his right letting the tight green flesh take loosely hold of the wooden weapon. Rin was the next to sigh into the darkness of the night. The moon was gone this night and she always wondered why. Why did the moon always get bigger then smaller again until it was gone then return like new? She shook her head and yawned as they stepped from the forest they were traveling though. She forced a small smile out. The moon was out this night after all, a small moon, but better than none at all. It had remained hidden by the overhang of branches. A two headed dragon gave a low rumble beside Rin and began to sink onto his belly for a night long awaited for sleep. “Goodnight, Ah and Un.” She spoke softly to the creature. She stroked the beings scales softly as it began to sleep. She smiled a little more but frowned again turning to her Lord Sesshoumaru, who now sat with at the edge of a cliff ahead of her. She looked behind herself where Jaken was. She was relieved to see him in a slumber. She shuffled her feet as she stepped behind the inu youkai. She was nervous, she was sure he'd not like this. She knew that he could never feel the same way as she did. He often said so. She slowly reached her arms forward and let her body slowly move downward. She flinched as she felt her bare skin touch his ice cold armor. He didn't make a move, not even to breathe. She was farther down so her face was close to his ear. She was on her knees behind him, her head on his shoulder. She let out a sigh. Sesshoumaru did not move just yet. He kept on as if she weren't there. Go on, Rin, say what's on your mind! Tell him, even if he doesn't care. Then you can get on with your life! She looked at his eyes dead ahead with the moon shining around his black pupils. “I... I know... I know I can't always stay by you. And It makes me very sad, my Lord Sesshoumaru. And in your lifetime, it won't... it hasn't been very long I have been here. I just don't want to be afraid anymore, so I have to say this. I... I...” She hesitated. “I love you...” she let out into the air like a floating poison in a slow drip. It hung in the air and was sharp as a knife when she took her breath. The demon took on a stiff form. “Is that all.” He said in a cold voice. Nothing abnormally cold, the same as every other day. A small plopping came from beside him. The dripping of tears against the steel armor. He, at that moment, looked at her. Her face hung low and a frown. A red face streaked with tears that fell together onto his shoulder. He wasn't one for affection, thought we was often showed that by this girl. No, she was no longer a girl and he knew it and he felt differently about her than he did anyone, human or demon. She'd been there, to him, a short time, not even ten years yet. Why do you care so much? “Why?” he asked in a softer tone. She stopped her crying and looked into his eyes. It wasn't quiet like before.
Can you hear me?
Can you feel me in your arms
Holding my last breath?
Safe inside myself
Are all my thoughts of you
“I asked you 'why'” He spoke again unsure if she heard. She had though, she was thinking what to say. “Love, just happens.” she said at last. “You saved my life, many times and that was more than anyone had ever dare do for an orphaned child like me. You took me in a cared for my safety. I guess that's why.” Her words floated out in a slow sad tone. They reminded him of something... or someone. Blurred out by his long and bloody past. But she forced him to start to remember again. Long black hair and narrowed icy blue eyes. A silver crescent was placed perfectly in the center of her forehead hidden by her hair and the darkness of the night. She radiated a kindness. At first glance neither seemed to look very alike, but still she bore him. He was her only son and she was a pure blood inu youkai like himself and his father. And his parents loved one another, or at least as a child himself he loved to believe that way. To this night he still could not tell what truly love was, or if his parents were once in it. So he believed they were just in love... until that is, the night she died. Then his father turned to a human woman and together Inuyasha was born. Sesshoumaru was silent and Rin looked away and held her breath. Her thoughts, a blurred mess of her past, dashed though her mind. She subconsciously began to move. She stood and walked ahead of her lord. She began to sit in front of him and slowly began to lay backwards onto his chest until she felt she was between his arms. She felt her hand side down to his side where she gripped his wrist. She slowly in an uneasy way pulled his arm around her. She shivered in the night air. She gave herself a mental slap realizing where she was now. She nearly jumped forward but noticed the youkai did not move... he did not either seem to mind or notice she was there. Sesshoumaru remained deep in his thoughts. Laying softly back on him she felt tired but couldn't sleep, she felt herself wanting to cry again and she was sure she was. The clouds rolled above them as the thunder roared and the lightning lit the skies. The rain began a slow drip. But it became harder and harder until it was a solid downpour. She was unsure if she was truly crying anymore. But she felt that was a good thing. My lord, what ails you? Why are you always so deep in your thoughts? She silently thought. She closed her eyes again to more thoughts just of him. All my thoughts of you. Sweet night, bring my wishes true! “Sesshoumaru-sama?” She softly said, she expected no reply and truthfully didn't get one, only a movement for the man behind her. She looked forward to where the moon once sat within the loom of stars. Black-red clouds rolled though, and an ominous evil radiated forth while Rin sat unknowingly to it's presence.
Sweet rapture and life,
It ends here tonight.
Rain pushed against her eyes forcing them closed. Sesshoumaru gave a sudden surge of force from behind the girl. His snapped to his feet, the girl in his arm. He stared straight ahead. “Rin, stand back.” He spoke letting her loose. His voice still calm and cold. She did as she was told, “Yes my lord.” She said running back to where Jaken lay. She quickly shook him to his senses. “Master Jaken! Master Jaken wake up!” she called to his as he rubbed his eyes to the night sky. “What is it Rin!” he seemed to bark at her. “Something is happening!” she said turning back to Sesshoumaru. She looked at him and followed his eyes into the mass of clouds. The red and black ones hiding the moon. “Sesshoumaru!” the call came forth from the darkness. “I seek your fang! Give it to me or die!” The voice yelled out as a massive beast shot from the clouds. The inu youkai gave a short smirk but was easily replaced with a frown. No challenge would come from this youkai. “If it is a fang you seek why seek my Tenseiga?” He asked. His sword, to himself, was worthless. No good except to save the lives he wished to take. He felt sure the beast was mistaken, a mistake Toukijin could fix. His presence made him angry, though that happened with most any being. The creature landed before Rin's Lord and snarled. He gave a snort though his pig like snout and bore his wolfish fangs at the demon lord. “Hand it over!” He growled not seeming to notice Sesshoumaru's question. Jaken behind jumped to his feet. Standing small beside the hunched over Rin. He snatched up his Staff of Two Heads and started to rush forward. He stood at his Master's side. “Lord Sesshoumaru, leave him to me. He is not even worth your time.” The imp smirked at the beast. A large creature but not very strong looking. The inu youkai didn't acknowledge him with words, he just walked away. The demon with his bore-like features snorted and forced his body down on all fours, “Come back here! I demand that sword!” He yelled out and began to charge forward. Jaken swung his magical staff that let out an onslaught of fire to scorch the pig youkai's flesh. The scent was reminding of rotten pork and blood. But the youkai did not fall he kept on but was met with the sharp edge of four claws, poisoned for his demise. The poison seemed to be in a whip that slapped his wounds. He froze for his pain, he stood tall again, nearly three times the size Sesshoumaru-sama stood but could no where near rival his power. He sunk onto one knee and rested his front feet to the ground. His breathing with hard as he looked up to the demon lord who did not even bother to turn around to him. Sesshoumaru's hand began to grasp the Toukijin and in a lightning fast swing the beast was torn into a mass of pulpy flesh in a pool of blood. The scent was so strong Rin had to cover her face but through her hands prised her lord, “Your amazing my lord!” She smiled behind her fingers, “And you to Jaken!” She smiled. But her happiness was short-lived. Two long arms seemed to come from the tree itself. She let out a scream. The pig youkai was working with three other demons. Why they insisted on having the Tenseiga is unknown and would never matter. Two more bore-like youkai dropped from above and a tree youkai held back young Rin. She continued her cries. The tree demon gave a scratchy voice, “Quiet ch... child! Nowww...” It sounded like an old woman. She was gripped by the aged branches cutting away at her arms and she cried when the blood dripped to the ground. Sesshoumaru drew his sword yet again. “Don't movvveee... Or your wo... woman perishesssss...” The youkai tree spoke against the rising storm winds. Sesshoumaru kept a calm face and looked at Rin. She was about three feet from the ground. Sesshoumaru dashed forward striking both pig demons and swung at the base of the tree. The tree youkai, angered swung forward a third branch. And then... all she saw was red. She felt nothing. She seemed to watch from a distance as her body fell forward into the grass stained red. Her master swung once more and the tree youkai was dead. Jaken stunned at first ran to Rin's bleeding side. The branch remained in her stomach and she couldn't cry out and a tear wouldn't fall... not from mortal wounds. Will my life end here tonight? Will I die? Lord Sesshoumaru, save me!” She cried in her mind. Her lips refused to move. “Rin!” The green imp called at her side. It's over, It's all over! I'll die!” She cried in her thoughts...
I'll miss the winter
A world of fragile things
Look for me in the white forest
Hiding in a hollow tree (come find me)
Everything faded from her except her thoughts. They became clouded over with the things she most longed for. The winter and her “family,” just she, Jaken and Sesshoumaru. She was small, the same as when she began her journeys with Sesshoumaru and Jaken. Maybe seven? It was a white winter, her favorite thing now. She smiled as she ran though the forest draped over with the soft white snow. She dashed by the slacking Jaken as Sesshoumaru walked far ahead barely in site with his white hair and clothing. She slipped between the fragile ice coated trees laughing with the few remaining birds. Small animals hid from the noises unsure of hunters. Rin found herself inside of a hollow tree not far from the imp. She called though the woods, “Come and find me Master Jaken,” and then she'd laugh and wait as he searched in a frustrated mood, moaning and groaning in his quest. “Rin, come out here! We don't have time for your games!” He called from the snowy path as new flakes began to rest on his skull and clothes. He whined and kicked at the ice hurting his foot. And with that she felt bad freeing herself for her world to stand by his injured side only to be scolded. “I'm sorry Master Jaken.” And she hung her head low as they walked after Sesshoumaru yet again.
I know you hear me,
I can taste it in your tears.
Holding my last breath
Safe inside myself
Are all my thoughts of you.
“L... Lord Sess... Lord Sesshoumaru. Please?” She whispered in her near death thoughts to the man above she could not see. Long white hair fell over his face looking down at the girl with such affection he could not show, even if he had tried. It was something he lost long ago when he lost her, his mother. When she died and left him, he became as his cold-hearted self, unable to love. His mind cried out as he was sure the only person left was gone.
The girl regained, just for a moment, a slight bit of consciousness, just, as she thought, was her last request to the gods to see her love once more. She was met with only one thing she could see and feel. Rain, yes, it must have been for such a man would never cry. Her body became once more numb as she met the eyes of her master. She whispered unheard words and the rain slipped between her lips, the last taste she felt she'd know. Her body was numb and all her thoughts were just pf him. Is this what it is like to die? To only think of what you long for most? Like a damned hell! The taste in her mouth from the rain was odd. Salt. That was all she could taste. But to taste his thoughts she knew he'd heard her incoherent love vows. I'll wait for you forever, and I'll follow you until your end so you have someone to meet you on the other side. I'll be your someone in Heaven, my lord. Sesshoumaru watched her form, life seemed in a slow motion and he watched as she seemed to hold her breath, her final breath for a final farewell. Rin's thoughts danced like wild fire and she sat in the center of the rage, safe inside herself.
Sweet rapture and life,
It ends here tonight.
She was sure, she was ready at last as her final thoughts were fading. Her life would end here tonight. And of her final breath half was to be used, “Lord... Sesshoumaru... I'm sorry I'm still afraid. Please don't... don't... be afraid for me... and...” She forced a chuckle at her stupidity and did not finish. Her eyes had remained closed and she waited... she had but one last thing to tell him...
Closing your eyes to disappear
You pray your dreams will leave you here,
But still you wake and know the truth
No one's there.
Sesshoumaru stood tall in the darkness casting shadow to his entire face. Jaken stood back by Rin's side. She was dark but her tears still were seen. Sesshoumaru closed his eyes, he wanted it the way it was before but he knew otherwise, and he knew his emotions only were in his way. He wasn't meant to feel like this. But still he wished she could be left here, if she had the will to stay. She said she was still afraid, afraid to cross over and die. He would have to be even stronger, for her as she wished. That meant a colder life. It's not like that, just don't be afraid, Rin's own thoughts echoed in his head. He felt himself shake his head as though he'd been asleep for years, for the long time of centuries. And he'll wake to know the truth, no one's there.
Say goodnight, don't be afraid
Calling me, holding me, as you fade to black.
Jaken was not as dry eyed as his lord, crying at Rin's side. Though he'd been horrible to her at times, she'd been kind to him though it all, in her own ways. Jaken was silent to Sesshoumaru's decision not to revive her. Though that was his truest wish. He wiped his eyes and held his head high for her saying his respects to the fallen. Sesshoumaru unknowing to himself, before anyone knew, was holding her as he was on his knees. She was the only one who had ever showed true affection since that day long ago, and he felt sorry for her. Something he never really felt, for anyone or anything. And her words echoed on, ...don't be afraid... “Rin, I... goodnight.” One eye, half open, a whisper was attempted, and as the words were done all was gone... fade to black...
(Say goodnight) Holding my last breath
(Don't be afraid) Safe inside myself
(Holding me) Are all my thoughts of you
Sweet rapture and life,
It ends here tonight.
He watched her face, cold and lifeless, a void, soulless. Her lips felt like ice against his... his final words unheard holding his last breath, all his thoughts of you, rapture and life, it all ends here tonight.
...don't be afraid...
...i'm not, were together now, my lord...
...and all there was, was a single girl laughing in the night...
Hold on to me love
You know I can't stay long
All I wanted to say was
I love you and I'm not afraid
As all things age, all things too wither and die away into the dust of nothingness. And into the wind it will fade. These are things the nearly immortal youkai see everyday as they are normally the bearers of the death. But some youkai forbid themselves from killing their counterparts, the human mortals. This youkai had saved her and for that she knew him as her savior, the man who brought her back from the netherworld. To her she could not care less if he were a demon or a human or any mixture between. She was her lord and master and she would follow him for the rest of her living days, and her spirit watch over him from beyond her grave site.
Years have long past as a girl became a woman in a sense, and she followed behind her beloved savior and his faithful vassal, her Master Jaken. She stood many times Jaken's own height now and with that he marked off the years. She was at least sixteen now. But Jaken was never to sure of mortals, especially this one, young Rin. Today she wasn't quiet her happy, bubbly self. She walked quietly behind her masters and held her hands together behind her back. She kept a sad expression on her long face as her long locks of brown hair fell forward into her vision. Her chocolate brown eyes were kept steady on the heals of a tall man with white hair longer than her own. He too, was silent, but it was as always. Rin had been like this for the past few nights, quiet and sad. Nothing out of the ordinary had happened as Jaken recalled. Nothing at all. He sighed and changed his Staff of Two Heads into his left hand from his right letting the tight green flesh take loosely hold of the wooden weapon. Rin was the next to sigh into the darkness of the night. The moon was gone this night and she always wondered why. Why did the moon always get bigger then smaller again until it was gone then return like new? She shook her head and yawned as they stepped from the forest they were traveling though. She forced a small smile out. The moon was out this night after all, a small moon, but better than none at all. It had remained hidden by the overhang of branches. A two headed dragon gave a low rumble beside Rin and began to sink onto his belly for a night long awaited for sleep. “Goodnight, Ah and Un.” She spoke softly to the creature. She stroked the beings scales softly as it began to sleep. She smiled a little more but frowned again turning to her Lord Sesshoumaru, who now sat with at the edge of a cliff ahead of her. She looked behind herself where Jaken was. She was relieved to see him in a slumber. She shuffled her feet as she stepped behind the inu youkai. She was nervous, she was sure he'd not like this. She knew that he could never feel the same way as she did. He often said so. She slowly reached her arms forward and let her body slowly move downward. She flinched as she felt her bare skin touch his ice cold armor. He didn't make a move, not even to breathe. She was farther down so her face was close to his ear. She was on her knees behind him, her head on his shoulder. She let out a sigh. Sesshoumaru did not move just yet. He kept on as if she weren't there. Go on, Rin, say what's on your mind! Tell him, even if he doesn't care. Then you can get on with your life! She looked at his eyes dead ahead with the moon shining around his black pupils. “I... I know... I know I can't always stay by you. And It makes me very sad, my Lord Sesshoumaru. And in your lifetime, it won't... it hasn't been very long I have been here. I just don't want to be afraid anymore, so I have to say this. I... I...” She hesitated. “I love you...” she let out into the air like a floating poison in a slow drip. It hung in the air and was sharp as a knife when she took her breath. The demon took on a stiff form. “Is that all.” He said in a cold voice. Nothing abnormally cold, the same as every other day. A small plopping came from beside him. The dripping of tears against the steel armor. He, at that moment, looked at her. Her face hung low and a frown. A red face streaked with tears that fell together onto his shoulder. He wasn't one for affection, thought we was often showed that by this girl. No, she was no longer a girl and he knew it and he felt differently about her than he did anyone, human or demon. She'd been there, to him, a short time, not even ten years yet. Why do you care so much? “Why?” he asked in a softer tone. She stopped her crying and looked into his eyes. It wasn't quiet like before.
Can you hear me?
Can you feel me in your arms
Holding my last breath?
Safe inside myself
Are all my thoughts of you
“I asked you 'why'” He spoke again unsure if she heard. She had though, she was thinking what to say. “Love, just happens.” she said at last. “You saved my life, many times and that was more than anyone had ever dare do for an orphaned child like me. You took me in a cared for my safety. I guess that's why.” Her words floated out in a slow sad tone. They reminded him of something... or someone. Blurred out by his long and bloody past. But she forced him to start to remember again. Long black hair and narrowed icy blue eyes. A silver crescent was placed perfectly in the center of her forehead hidden by her hair and the darkness of the night. She radiated a kindness. At first glance neither seemed to look very alike, but still she bore him. He was her only son and she was a pure blood inu youkai like himself and his father. And his parents loved one another, or at least as a child himself he loved to believe that way. To this night he still could not tell what truly love was, or if his parents were once in it. So he believed they were just in love... until that is, the night she died. Then his father turned to a human woman and together Inuyasha was born. Sesshoumaru was silent and Rin looked away and held her breath. Her thoughts, a blurred mess of her past, dashed though her mind. She subconsciously began to move. She stood and walked ahead of her lord. She began to sit in front of him and slowly began to lay backwards onto his chest until she felt she was between his arms. She felt her hand side down to his side where she gripped his wrist. She slowly in an uneasy way pulled his arm around her. She shivered in the night air. She gave herself a mental slap realizing where she was now. She nearly jumped forward but noticed the youkai did not move... he did not either seem to mind or notice she was there. Sesshoumaru remained deep in his thoughts. Laying softly back on him she felt tired but couldn't sleep, she felt herself wanting to cry again and she was sure she was. The clouds rolled above them as the thunder roared and the lightning lit the skies. The rain began a slow drip. But it became harder and harder until it was a solid downpour. She was unsure if she was truly crying anymore. But she felt that was a good thing. My lord, what ails you? Why are you always so deep in your thoughts? She silently thought. She closed her eyes again to more thoughts just of him. All my thoughts of you. Sweet night, bring my wishes true! “Sesshoumaru-sama?” She softly said, she expected no reply and truthfully didn't get one, only a movement for the man behind her. She looked forward to where the moon once sat within the loom of stars. Black-red clouds rolled though, and an ominous evil radiated forth while Rin sat unknowingly to it's presence.
Sweet rapture and life,
It ends here tonight.
Rain pushed against her eyes forcing them closed. Sesshoumaru gave a sudden surge of force from behind the girl. His snapped to his feet, the girl in his arm. He stared straight ahead. “Rin, stand back.” He spoke letting her loose. His voice still calm and cold. She did as she was told, “Yes my lord.” She said running back to where Jaken lay. She quickly shook him to his senses. “Master Jaken! Master Jaken wake up!” she called to his as he rubbed his eyes to the night sky. “What is it Rin!” he seemed to bark at her. “Something is happening!” she said turning back to Sesshoumaru. She looked at him and followed his eyes into the mass of clouds. The red and black ones hiding the moon. “Sesshoumaru!” the call came forth from the darkness. “I seek your fang! Give it to me or die!” The voice yelled out as a massive beast shot from the clouds. The inu youkai gave a short smirk but was easily replaced with a frown. No challenge would come from this youkai. “If it is a fang you seek why seek my Tenseiga?” He asked. His sword, to himself, was worthless. No good except to save the lives he wished to take. He felt sure the beast was mistaken, a mistake Toukijin could fix. His presence made him angry, though that happened with most any being. The creature landed before Rin's Lord and snarled. He gave a snort though his pig like snout and bore his wolfish fangs at the demon lord. “Hand it over!” He growled not seeming to notice Sesshoumaru's question. Jaken behind jumped to his feet. Standing small beside the hunched over Rin. He snatched up his Staff of Two Heads and started to rush forward. He stood at his Master's side. “Lord Sesshoumaru, leave him to me. He is not even worth your time.” The imp smirked at the beast. A large creature but not very strong looking. The inu youkai didn't acknowledge him with words, he just walked away. The demon with his bore-like features snorted and forced his body down on all fours, “Come back here! I demand that sword!” He yelled out and began to charge forward. Jaken swung his magical staff that let out an onslaught of fire to scorch the pig youkai's flesh. The scent was reminding of rotten pork and blood. But the youkai did not fall he kept on but was met with the sharp edge of four claws, poisoned for his demise. The poison seemed to be in a whip that slapped his wounds. He froze for his pain, he stood tall again, nearly three times the size Sesshoumaru-sama stood but could no where near rival his power. He sunk onto one knee and rested his front feet to the ground. His breathing with hard as he looked up to the demon lord who did not even bother to turn around to him. Sesshoumaru's hand began to grasp the Toukijin and in a lightning fast swing the beast was torn into a mass of pulpy flesh in a pool of blood. The scent was so strong Rin had to cover her face but through her hands prised her lord, “Your amazing my lord!” She smiled behind her fingers, “And you to Jaken!” She smiled. But her happiness was short-lived. Two long arms seemed to come from the tree itself. She let out a scream. The pig youkai was working with three other demons. Why they insisted on having the Tenseiga is unknown and would never matter. Two more bore-like youkai dropped from above and a tree youkai held back young Rin. She continued her cries. The tree demon gave a scratchy voice, “Quiet ch... child! Nowww...” It sounded like an old woman. She was gripped by the aged branches cutting away at her arms and she cried when the blood dripped to the ground. Sesshoumaru drew his sword yet again. “Don't movvveee... Or your wo... woman perishesssss...” The youkai tree spoke against the rising storm winds. Sesshoumaru kept a calm face and looked at Rin. She was about three feet from the ground. Sesshoumaru dashed forward striking both pig demons and swung at the base of the tree. The tree youkai, angered swung forward a third branch. And then... all she saw was red. She felt nothing. She seemed to watch from a distance as her body fell forward into the grass stained red. Her master swung once more and the tree youkai was dead. Jaken stunned at first ran to Rin's bleeding side. The branch remained in her stomach and she couldn't cry out and a tear wouldn't fall... not from mortal wounds. Will my life end here tonight? Will I die? Lord Sesshoumaru, save me!” She cried in her mind. Her lips refused to move. “Rin!” The green imp called at her side. It's over, It's all over! I'll die!” She cried in her thoughts...
I'll miss the winter
A world of fragile things
Look for me in the white forest
Hiding in a hollow tree (come find me)
Everything faded from her except her thoughts. They became clouded over with the things she most longed for. The winter and her “family,” just she, Jaken and Sesshoumaru. She was small, the same as when she began her journeys with Sesshoumaru and Jaken. Maybe seven? It was a white winter, her favorite thing now. She smiled as she ran though the forest draped over with the soft white snow. She dashed by the slacking Jaken as Sesshoumaru walked far ahead barely in site with his white hair and clothing. She slipped between the fragile ice coated trees laughing with the few remaining birds. Small animals hid from the noises unsure of hunters. Rin found herself inside of a hollow tree not far from the imp. She called though the woods, “Come and find me Master Jaken,” and then she'd laugh and wait as he searched in a frustrated mood, moaning and groaning in his quest. “Rin, come out here! We don't have time for your games!” He called from the snowy path as new flakes began to rest on his skull and clothes. He whined and kicked at the ice hurting his foot. And with that she felt bad freeing herself for her world to stand by his injured side only to be scolded. “I'm sorry Master Jaken.” And she hung her head low as they walked after Sesshoumaru yet again.
I know you hear me,
I can taste it in your tears.
Holding my last breath
Safe inside myself
Are all my thoughts of you.
“L... Lord Sess... Lord Sesshoumaru. Please?” She whispered in her near death thoughts to the man above she could not see. Long white hair fell over his face looking down at the girl with such affection he could not show, even if he had tried. It was something he lost long ago when he lost her, his mother. When she died and left him, he became as his cold-hearted self, unable to love. His mind cried out as he was sure the only person left was gone.
The girl regained, just for a moment, a slight bit of consciousness, just, as she thought, was her last request to the gods to see her love once more. She was met with only one thing she could see and feel. Rain, yes, it must have been for such a man would never cry. Her body became once more numb as she met the eyes of her master. She whispered unheard words and the rain slipped between her lips, the last taste she felt she'd know. Her body was numb and all her thoughts were just pf him. Is this what it is like to die? To only think of what you long for most? Like a damned hell! The taste in her mouth from the rain was odd. Salt. That was all she could taste. But to taste his thoughts she knew he'd heard her incoherent love vows. I'll wait for you forever, and I'll follow you until your end so you have someone to meet you on the other side. I'll be your someone in Heaven, my lord. Sesshoumaru watched her form, life seemed in a slow motion and he watched as she seemed to hold her breath, her final breath for a final farewell. Rin's thoughts danced like wild fire and she sat in the center of the rage, safe inside herself.
Sweet rapture and life,
It ends here tonight.
She was sure, she was ready at last as her final thoughts were fading. Her life would end here tonight. And of her final breath half was to be used, “Lord... Sesshoumaru... I'm sorry I'm still afraid. Please don't... don't... be afraid for me... and...” She forced a chuckle at her stupidity and did not finish. Her eyes had remained closed and she waited... she had but one last thing to tell him...
Closing your eyes to disappear
You pray your dreams will leave you here,
But still you wake and know the truth
No one's there.
Sesshoumaru stood tall in the darkness casting shadow to his entire face. Jaken stood back by Rin's side. She was dark but her tears still were seen. Sesshoumaru closed his eyes, he wanted it the way it was before but he knew otherwise, and he knew his emotions only were in his way. He wasn't meant to feel like this. But still he wished she could be left here, if she had the will to stay. She said she was still afraid, afraid to cross over and die. He would have to be even stronger, for her as she wished. That meant a colder life. It's not like that, just don't be afraid, Rin's own thoughts echoed in his head. He felt himself shake his head as though he'd been asleep for years, for the long time of centuries. And he'll wake to know the truth, no one's there.
Say goodnight, don't be afraid
Calling me, holding me, as you fade to black.
Jaken was not as dry eyed as his lord, crying at Rin's side. Though he'd been horrible to her at times, she'd been kind to him though it all, in her own ways. Jaken was silent to Sesshoumaru's decision not to revive her. Though that was his truest wish. He wiped his eyes and held his head high for her saying his respects to the fallen. Sesshoumaru unknowing to himself, before anyone knew, was holding her as he was on his knees. She was the only one who had ever showed true affection since that day long ago, and he felt sorry for her. Something he never really felt, for anyone or anything. And her words echoed on, ...don't be afraid... “Rin, I... goodnight.” One eye, half open, a whisper was attempted, and as the words were done all was gone... fade to black...
(Say goodnight) Holding my last breath
(Don't be afraid) Safe inside myself
(Holding me) Are all my thoughts of you
Sweet rapture and life,
It ends here tonight.
He watched her face, cold and lifeless, a void, soulless. Her lips felt like ice against his... his final words unheard holding his last breath, all his thoughts of you, rapture and life, it all ends here tonight.
...don't be afraid...
...i'm not, were together now, my lord...
...and all there was, was a single girl laughing in the night...