InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ My Will ❯ Let Go ( Prologue )

"My Will"

Disclaimer: "Inuyasha" and all of its characters are © to Rumiko Takahashi, this fanfiction, its plot, and any original characters that may appear are © to me, Tyfani-chan.

A/N: This is more or less a very random idea that popped in my head a while back. But I think it has potential. I'll be updating when I get caught up with my other fics. You'll also notice Kagome is a bit OOC here, but to fit the situation she needs to be.

This fanfiction is dedicated to Kimberly Rebecca Olsen (December 3rd, 1988-Augest 16th, 2002)

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Prologue: "Let Go"

Is there really life after death? Or does our mind and soul just vanish from existence, merely leaving an empty shell behind? Possibly we go to that `better place' or maybe we're just sent into a place similar to Hell? These are questions that have been itching at the back of peoples' minds for centuries and still no one knows the answer.

A few say they've had `outer body experiences', where they we dead for a few minutes but something told them that they had thinks to take care of in life so they couldn't die.

What a load of shit.

I don't believe any of that. What if we don't really die? What if death is just another beginning? The beginning of a new life. I'm not talking about reincarnation, where your soul is sent into a different body to re-live. But, if you were in the same body. Possibly re-born again, but you looked the same and acted similarly to your previous life?

Ever wonder why the feeling of déjà vu sometimes sneaks up on you? Maybe you really have been in that place or done that thing, just in another life. It seems so familiar, but you know that you have never done that thing before. Maybe this is why people you have never met before seem so familiar to you. You knew them before. You felt their presence, you laughed with them, you touched them, possibly even loved them.

The catch of all this is that you don't remember your past life. Except for that occasional feeling of déjà vu, you have no recollection of what happened before. Then this leaves you wondering… what if you did remember? What if you weren't re-born like everyone else? What if you were the same age as when you died? What if you could remember all of what had happened before being `re-born'? What if…?

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"Kagome, it's time to go home, hurry!" My mother's voice sounded out unexpectedly.

I slipped.

I grasped the blue-gray rail more or less out of instinct I guess. I had already had a loose grip on it, just in case. I could never find myself about to let go of it. Even if I only had two fingers on the cold metal I knew that if I somehow slipped, like just now, I could grab it.

It seemed that simple metal rail was my grip on reality, my grip on life. Literally. But now all of that was lost. When I had slipped I wasn't afraid. I should have been. Just for the mere fact of being human I should have be at least a little afraid, but I wasn't. For a second I though it was possibly because I came up here so often. But, no, that wasn't it.

The fact that I wasn't afraid told me something. It told me I could let go, that if and when I did that I wouldn't panic. I wouldn't be afraid. Fear is what had kept me from letting go, yesterday, the day before, and all those other times. But now fear didn't exist.

I could let go. That simple sentence took a million pounds of pressure off of me. Let go.

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Beep, beep, beep! Beep, beep, beep!

I reached my hand over to my nightstand and felt around for the smooth plastic of my alarm clock. Having found it, I moved the little notch over two spaces and the obnoxious `beeping' sound ceased. I don't know why I bothered setting my alarm clock. I didn't sleep last night, and I knew I wasn't going to. It was rare that I slept anymore; I guess sleep just no longer seemed important. Then again, nor did anything else.

I pushed my pink comforter out of the way as I got out of bed. I stood there next to my bed for a moment and wondered what had happened to make me this way. For some reason this had never crossed my mind before, but I was sure I would be doing a lot of thinking today. I was so happy… what happened? It was two and a half years ago that I started to be this way. It wasn't really that bad at first, but then, gradually, I began to loose hope. I don't know why. I should still be happy. Nothing is really wrong in my life, but I still feel there is something missing.

I walked over to my chest-of-drawers and opened the second drawer. I took out my carefully folded green and white school uniform. I slipped off my sky-blue pajamas and changed into my uniform, just like I had so many times before. I picked up my pajamas and headed down the hallway past Souta's room. I took a right-had-turn and quietly walked down the slick wooden flight of stairs. I remembered the countless times that I had rushed down them and slipped, resulting in a sore rear-end and a few bruises.

I dumped my pajamas in the little mesh-netted hamper in the laundry room, though I don't see why I bothered. I walked into the kitchen and sat down at the table. Souta had made him and me ramen for breakfast… that was what we had been reduced to for the past few months. Occasionally mother would make us a real breakfast, but those times were few and far between. Ever since she had started the supposedly great job all of the other things (such as cooking, laundry, dishes, etc.) in her life just didn't seem very important anymore.

Mother had long-since left for work, we only saw her in the evenings after school now. Sometimes not even then. Ever since her new job I had also been taking care of Souta by myself. It wasn't that difficult since he was now almost twelve-years-old. I watched him eat his ramen while he was reading the newest Shounen Sunday. As I watched him I felt guilt come over me like an ominous thunder cloud, I forced myself to snap out of it. I had made up my mind; I wouldn't chicken-out now.

"Nee-chan?"

I turned to Souta, "What is it?" I spoke so softly now, I was surprised I could hear my own voice. Let alone any one else.

"Hojou is gunna pick us up again today, right? If he isn't we need to leave right now," Souta asked me. I was amazed at how much he had changed: his voice was starting to get deeper in his adolescence, he had grown quite a bit, he was close to my height now, and he looked older than he was too. After Ji-chan passed away a year ago, Souta seemed to have taken the man's role in the house-hold. It was by his own choice too. I didn't need to worry, he would be fine.

"Yeah, he called yesterday and told me," I replied, trying to make my voice at least a tiny bit louder.

"Ok," Souta said, obviously uncomfortable under the awkward silence that seemed to linger around every morning. I sighed softly, I regretted letting myself get this way. It bothered me to no end. But, there was nothing I could do about it now.

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I stepped out the door and watched Hojou drive up in his little baby-blue colored car. I wasn't looking forward to the hour-long drive to school thru Tokyo traffic. I don't know why I was mentally complaining though; this would be the last time I would have to do this.

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A/N: I hope you liked it ^-^, it's kind of a slow start but this will speed up in the next chapter. Please review minna!

Next Chapter: "Falling"