InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Name up in Lights ❯ Lesson One: Swirling Emotions ( Chapter 1 )
[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]
Disclaimer: Some ideas mentioned in this story belong to the authors of Broadway Bound (story ID: 1973802). Also, my opinions are my own, not a part of the story. Flashbacks belong to their respective owners.
Name up in Lights
Author's Notes: This story is based right after the scene that broke out between Inuyasha and Kagome concerning Tiffany in chapter four. It'd be great if you read all of that (including past chapters) before you read this.
Dedication: This chapter is for the authors of Broadway Bound. You both did such a great job in building so much tension and romance into this sequel, and I thank you two immensely.
Spoiler Warning [for entire story]: Yep, a couple of spoilers are wrapped up into this plot, so to those readers who haven't really read Broadway Baby (and I doubt that terribly) and Broadway Bound, you are all welcomed to read this if you want to get a very paltry idea on what the plotlines are focusing on. But for those who literally despise spoilers, turn back now or read the story at your own expense.
Lesson One…
His eyes practically winced at the sudden loss of spotlights as they dimmed drastically—simultaneously…
People were talking.
The cameraman was sharing a very extensive chat with Jennifer, his blonde-haired beautician and hair stylist. Frankly, he couldn't help but feel as if they were playing some sort of foolish game.
Pretend, he thought dreamily, They're actually pretending as if they're some sort of superstars…
By the way their lips were moving, he vaguely wondered if they knew just how stardom could gouge a hole in your heart, mind, and soul. How it can even make you feel at times unbelievably vulnerable and counterfeit—
Inuyasha Himes sighed as he sidled out of the grotesque and tawdry, pink couch hunkered on stage. He stretched briefly and quickly readjusted the waistline of his jeans, which were infuriatingly sliding farther down his butt with every subtle venture of movement he made.
Shortly after, he quietly headed for the refreshment stand nearby to grab his coat.
"I AM NOT ENGAGED TO HER! DO YOU HONESTLY THINK I WOULD HAVE BEEN WITH YOU LAST NIGHT IF I WAS?" Inuyasha shouted as he tried to open the door, only to discover she had locked it. Taking a deep breath, he tamped down his anger and tried again. "Please open the door, Kagome. Let's be mature enough to argue face to face." He heard her softly pad to the door and unlock it
"I don't know what to think, Inuyasha. Let's not kid ourselves here. Fame, stardom, your name up in lights. I think we both know you are not going to turn your back on that. It's in your blood. You need it to feel complete. I can't compete against that or her. She is more your league than I could ever be."
"I don't know what to think, Inuyasha. Let's not kid ourselves here. Fame, stardom, your name up in lights. I think we both know you are not going to turn your back on that. It's in your blood. You need it to feel complete. I can't compete against that or her. She is more your league than I could ever be."
Though he demanded that Rick, his agent, make sure that Tiffany apologize for the little stunt she pulled on the E!, he still felt weirdly unsatisfied and uneasy. That must've been what propelled him to do another show with her; just to figure out why he felt the way he did.
With a heavy sigh, Inuyasha shrugged on his coat and with a quick flick of the wrist, flipped up and straightened out his collar.
Tiffany was nowhere to be found. Once the producer screamed, “And cut!” she'd disappeared miraculously as if into thin air. Could be the fact that Rick did exactly what he was told and now had her in a flounder for words and in a giant uproar of emotions.
Good, he thought vindictively, That's exactly what she gets for proclaiming such crap on television.
But Kagome—
He felt barren without her. And misplaced and vaguely out of tune with his surroundings knowing that he'd caused her so much pain within just a couple of minutes. Because their relationship seemed so deep, yet so indescribable…he still felt somewhat warmed by the ghostly touch of reassurance. But that still wasn't enough. He wanted to be with her right now, gathering whatever remnants of happiness they've shared, and carefully gluing them back together, piece by fragile piece.
“Hey, where ya goin'?”
Huh? Slowly, Inuyasha turned around at the jubilant, otherwise womanly voice. Normally, he would've just continued on fussing with the collar of his jacket rather than just answer, but the voice seemed very new to him and his body acted rashly on impulse without his consent. “Home,” he replied shortly.
He came face to face with a blue-eyed redhead undoubtedly sandwiched between her late twenties and early thirties. Her whole body language radiated cheerfulness and sincerity.
“Who are you? I've never seen you around here before?” Before he could even begin to choke on his words, they came tumbling out of his mouth with an uncontrollable velocity that fueled his throat to tighten slightly.
“Oh! I'm Tiffany's sister, Nicole.” She politely held out her hand and Inuyasha boldly shook it.
Slowly, his hand slipped out of her grasp, “Tiffany's sister? Funny, she never mentioned to me that she had a sister.”
“Well…stepsister more like it. We have different mothers.” Regretfully, the woman bowed her head.
“Oh,” was all that Inuyasha could say.
“Yeah…well—” Nicole, who seemed like she couldn't be Tiffany's sister by a long-shot, but indeed was, quickly began foraging through her purse, hand wading back and forth through the pile of stuff she'd congested it with, “—Tiffany wanted me to give this to you rather than her. I'll just keep whatever else she said to myself if that's okay.”
Inuyasha watched, eyes glistening within the half-gloom like insipid marbles. Tiffany looked up suddenly, mouth slightly parted. Without really thinking, Inuyasha's head shot up to meet her astonished gaze, somewhat shaken up.
“You're eyes…” she started softly, tentatively, “they're so…dark.”
Inuyasha's head drooped unexpectedly, lustrous bangs hooding his eyes beneath a mesh of black. “Sorry about that,” he apologized, “I was thinking about something.”
Her mouth slowly formed a dumbfounded `O' as she hesitantly began to speak, “Well…if you don't mind listening to my opinion…”
“I do,” Inuyasha tersely interrupted.
“Oh…well…” Nicole removed a blank envelope from her purse. It's sides and points appeared roughly bent and crinkled, no doubt from being crammed in such an overcrowded confinement.
Wordlessly, she outstretched her hand in a wary attempt to hand it to him.
Quietly, Inuyasha took it and watched dazedly as Nicole zipped her purse shut, murmured a brief farewell, and headed down the murky, horribly packed-in corridor that he was sure led to Tiffany's dressing room. When his eyes dropped to study the envelope in his hand, he curiously flipped it over and closely observed the sealed flap.
This must be some kind of joke, he thought.
10:00 PM
Out of anger, maybe even out of envy, and especially out of spite, Kagome refused to watch the special, one-night viewing of “Host and Company” on the E! Though she may've felt a teensy bit guilty for missing it on purpose, there were just some things she was determined to toss aside to the wind, whether they were emotions or insubstantial memories. But then come those “insubstantial” memories that can never be erased from your mind—Memories of joy and fiery passion…past memories of your lover's bold and tender caresses during that special night that deemed both of you more than just friends, maybe even best friends. During then, there came a time when that age-old talent of forgetfulness seemed moribund and useless.
Kagome sighed heavily as she plopped down onto the couch in front of her TV. It was currently switched on Cartoon Network, a show that would've knocked her maturity standards down a notch if someone were to walk in on her at that very moment. But it was like a miraculous, otherwise essential panacea. It healed mostly all of her ails and unbearable heartaches.
She needed something to make her laugh. She needed something that would keep her mind from straying and wondering exactly if Inuyasha was home yet or if he was painting the town red with…with Tiffany. She needed…hope. She needed something warm and tender. She needed a drape of black drawing lazy lines down her bare skin.
She needed…Inuyasha.
Getting up with a hefty sigh, the small, remote control beside her went completely unnoticed and toppled over the edge of the sofa at the abrupt shift of her weight, crashing to the floor. Buttons were pushed, and the volume grew steadily louder, clearly proving that it was broken and that there was no hope for it now.
Kagome felt her heart clench as she absentmindedly froze in mid-step. She listened as the TV hissed and shushed like some incoherent drunkard. Then, as if a crack of lightning flitting across the heavens, she heard a voice. A deep, rich, but velvety voice.
“So, Inuyasha, how does it feel be a star and, to the ladies, a million-dollar beefcake?”
Her ears practically strained to savor his memorable, hearty fits of laughter.
“I'm not sure,” he answered slowly. Suddenly, he stopped laughing and bowed his head, “Sometimes I just don't know how to feel about that, Jake.”
1:29 PM
Chirping.
Birds were chirping happily in his ears.
Groaning sleepily, Inuyasha felt himself grow rigid as he lied there in bed, basking in the warm sunlight coursing in through his bedroom window. A prickle of pain probed at his eyes, persistently trying to gouge them out of their sockets. He blinked them several times until they finally began to tear up and alleviate the pain.
Heaving a long, weighty sigh, he smoothed his hands up his bare chest and cupped them under his head. Carelessly, he kicked off the thick, plaid comforter just partially covering his half-naked body. Sweat was sloughing off of him in a thin sheet that glistened dully underneath the sunlight dancing across his skin. Unluckily, it only caused the heat surfacing slowly in a blistery brush of air around him to grow even more intense and intolerable.
Kagome…
Groggily turning over onto his side and propping himself up on the bend of his rickety elbow, Inuyasha craned his neck slightly to look at the phone sitting on his bedside table nearby his lamp and digital alarm clock. With his free hand, he sifted through the long list of names and numbers building up on his caller ID, some of which dated all the way back to three months ago.
She hadn't called me at all last night…
Frantically, he scanned through the list one more time until both the names and numbers became nothing but skittish blurs on the LCD screen. His heart practically skipped a beat when the message “End of RVC” materialized on the screen. He withdrew his arm slowly as he rolled over onto his back, causing the bedsprings to screech and bounce. Just barely he made out the garbled sounds of the TV staring back at him from the safety of its chestnut, entertainment center. It was actually mocking him, he thought.
After he came back home last night, he decided to change into his nightclothes before calling Kagome and leaving a brief message on her answering machine. Shortly afterwards, he lounged about on his bed, looking at TV, eagerness burning inside his heart until the pain became so torturous and agonizing hat it lulled him into a very deep sleep. A very deep sleep that soon wasted away into a tranquil and endless plain of darkness.
Just like the calm before the storm.
But I remember so clearly, he thought carefully to himself while staring up at the craftily molded ceiling looming over him.
"Shh, baby, don't cry. Mommy doesn't hurt. Always remember, baby, Mommy loves you."
He'd dreamed that she was still with him…reacquainting herself with his father…chatting happily with Kagome…giggling softly as Kagome blushed at her mentioning something about him—
No! Not again…
Suddenly, a precarious tremor shook briefly throughout his entire body as the faint sounds of metal colliding into metal snaked its way into his ears. He felt something constrict painfully within his chest as an excruciating shard of pain pierced his flesh like a ruthless dagger. Quickly, he gripped his heart through the flimsy material of his tank top with his right hand. Doubling over in immense pain, he grimaced darkly.
No…where's my medicine?
Another upsurge of pain suddenly flooded through his veins like a wave washing up on shore, sending him careening off the bed with a dull thud. With great effort, he tried to brace himself on the palms of his hands only to find himself clenching the carpet in a severe death-grip, nearly ripping it. The stress of it all was pressing mercilessly down on him like a block of steel, nearly crushing him and pushing him to asphyxiate out of sheer fear of growing unable to breathe.
“My…medicine,” he wheezed to the uncaring silence.
With a nasally intake and outtake of breath, Inuyasha tried his best to stagger to his feet, but failed miserably. When he came home last night, he'd stowed his bottle of Valium in the medicine cabinet before calling Kagome. But—
I won't be able to make it in time.
His eyes broadened and oddly began to resemble small, gut-wrenching flashlights. Imaginary alarm clocks started to chime riotously in his head, rocking against the walls of his mind.
Just then, the phone began to shrill madly off the hook.
1:50 PM
Beyond the threatening snarls of engines and the nauseating smell of exhaust, Kagome tried to hold her cell phone as steady as humanly possible to her right ear while trying to weave in and out of traffic. She sighed dolefully when thoughts of Inuyasha and his burly arms wrapped around her invaded whatever unoccupied space left within her mind.
Why isn't he picking up the phone?
Abruptly, the profuse flood of cars began to slow. Quickly, Kagome jabbed her foot down on the brake just as soon as she came to the traffic light. Moments later, fingers drumming frantically against the steering wheel, she began to chant, “C'mon Inuyasha…pick up…pick up…pick…up!”
When the infernal buzzing didn't stop vibrating against her ear, she angrily snatched the phone down for a brief analysis before ending the call and switching it off, flippantly stuffing it in the brown purse sitting in the passenger's seat beside her.
“Damn,” she cursed softly to herself when traffic began to pick up again, “I know he's home, but why isn't he picking up the phone?”
The car veered, skidding across several traffic lanes until it was in the far left lane. Switching on her left signal light, Kagome swerved sharply onto the road that led to Inuyasha's loft, worry clearly bleeding through the irises of her eyes.
1:55 PM
At that same moment, Inuyasha's heart stammered briefly as he lost whatever leverage he was left to resort to besides the walls and the carpet currently cushioning his bare knees. His arms felt swollen, both their bones and joints aching, practically screaming out in pain. He tried his best to refrain from squalling out in agony as the carpet continued to rub his knees raw as he tried to crawl his way towards the bathroom like a helpless inch-worm.
Inuyasha smiled over at his Mom. She was dropping him off for his final voice lesson before the recital tonight. "You're not going to miss it are you Mom?"
Isabelle glanced at her son. "Nope wouldn't miss it for the world. Your dad is going to be there too. So what song are you doing? I think you can tell me now." She teased as she pulled in front of the studio.
"Nope." He answered back smiling. "It's a surprise. Love ya Mom!" He kissed her cheek before grabbing his bag and leaping out of the car.
Isabelle glanced at her son. "Nope wouldn't miss it for the world. Your dad is going to be there too. So what song are you doing? I think you can tell me now." She teased as she pulled in front of the studio.
"Nope." He answered back smiling. "It's a surprise. Love ya Mom!" He kissed her cheek before grabbing his bag and leaping out of the car.
“Ahhhh!” As if right on cue, Inuyasha's spine curled tightly inward as he lurched backwards onto his knees, cupping either side of his forehead in his large, sweaty palms. No matter how much he tried…those thoughts…those same, forsaken thoughts…trickled into his mind like stagnant water. Impishly, they played around with his mind, pushing various, emotional buttons and pummeling all of his weak spots until they finally caved in.
He could find neither the strength nor the confidence to pick up the phone when it rang. His limbs, mainly his entire body, felt stiff and achy. And he was on the floor, unable to get up and reach his bathroom. The carpet felt scorching hot now, grazing against his knees as he tried harder to gain back whatever control he'd lost within the flood of misery and his high-pitched yowls.
Inuyasha turned to wave and saw everything, the world slowed each second in all its agonizing detail played before him. The sound of tires screeching, the black sports car colliding with his mother's sensible sedan. The sound of metal crumpling, glass breaking, metal screeching on pavement. His own scream seemed to take forever. Tossing his bag to the ground he ran, to the intersection. The cars had stopped climbing onto the side of the sedan he looked into the passenger compartment. His Mother's violet eyes met his own. "Shh baby, don't cry. Mommy doesn't hurt. Always remember baby, Mommy loves you." Her eyes shut.
Fingernails biting into the tender flesh of his neck, Inuyasha's breath suddenly grew ragged, mouth running dry. His heart was throbbing desperately against his chest, leaving behind only a fleeting ghost of pain.
Breathe. No! I can't…I…can't…
The walk-in, cedar-lined closet was dark, voided of all light except for the tiny sliver of sunlight just barely seeping in through the cracks of the closed, bathroom door. But what really sent a devastating blow to his mind was the fact that there was nowhere to hide. Nowhere whatsoever that could safely encapsulate his body.
Slowly his eyes widened like those of a petrified deer.
“M—mom…” he whispered to himself, something within his chest tightening and causing his voice to crack.
Knees falling out from beneath him, Inuyasha crumpled to the floor. Winding his arms around his knees and roughly bringing them up to his chest, he tried his best to curl himself up into a protective ball, back rocking slightly as he made a frantic attempt to secure the uproar of panic arising within him.
His lashes fluttered imperceptibly until they rested softly on his deathly pale skin. And while he lay there rocking back and forth, trying his best to block out the melodic cries of his doorbell, he sniveled gently as those cries soon deteriorated into those of his mother.
2:20 PM
With renewed persistence and determination, Kagome continued to ring Inuyasha's doorbell. After the tenth ring, she pivoted and walked the short distance towards one of the corridor's windows on the second floor. She looked at the cars passing the warehouse by without a single care in the world, only fueling her anger to spiral upwards into a bloody uproar.
Didn't they see what was happening?
“No,” she spoke softly beneath her breath, “They just don't know.”
Don't know what? The pain settling deep down in my chest and how it tugs fiercely with every thought that pops up in my mind concerning Inuyasha?
Some two minutes later, something stirred uncomfortably inside her as she began to notice that Inuyasha still hadn't come to the door. Immediately, she raced back over to repeat her assault upon the doorbell. C'mon, Inuyasha, she thought frantically, answer…the…door!
Two minutes…then three minutes later, he still didn't answer, and Kagome began to feel her knees grow weak and wobbly…and numb. Almost as if she'd wolfed down an entire bottle of Whiskey.
Coiling her fingers into a tight fist, Kagome began to pummel the door, simultaneously screaming out Inuyasha's name.
“Inuyasha!” she shouted, “Inuyasha! In-u-yash-a!
Mostly out of habit, Kagome made a downward reach for the cell phone squirreled away in her purse, but neither it nor its container was anywhere to be found.
“No!” she squealed, and began to beat roughly upon their door again, “Inuyasha! Inuyasha, please open up!”
There was not a trace of doubt in her mind now that he was in trouble. That he was probably—
Going through another painful episode, she thought to herself, nearly panicking as she recalled what had happened the first time she'd witnessed him…backing into a narrow corner in the back of the classroom with tremendous fear swallowing his ordinarily calm expression whole.
Bam! Bam!
Beating harder, faster against the door, Kagome continued to scream out his name until she was sure she heard her voice carry throughout the entire building.
Boom!
But then the hinges loosened and the wood splintered.
The door slammed open with such speed, Kagome nearly jumped back.
“In—Inuyasha?” she whispered.