InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Naraku Went Down to Kyoto ❯ Naraku Went Down to Kyoto ( Chapter 1 )

Naraku went down to Kyoto, he was looking for a soul stealer
He was in a bind, cause he was way behind
and he was willing to make a deal

`Damnit!' he thought. He lost Kikyou again. `Stupid bitch! She was supposed to give me the rest of the jewel shards from Inuyasha. `Damn her.' He was waaaayyy off schedule because of her! Kicking a rock that lay in his path to Kyoto where she was last seen, he hopped up on one foot clutching it because he stubbed his toe. Kissing it, he lowered his foot back to the ground and began to limp along once more.

Well he comes across a young miko sawing on a fiddle and she played it hot

`Oo how Inuyasha pisses me off,' she thought. She was playing it so hot and hard the strings caught fire. Shaking her burnt fingers and she dropped her burning bow, she cursed. "Damnit! Not again!" she thought in dismay, before she pulled out another from her seemingly bottomless yellow backpack.

Naraku jumped up on a hickory stump

But unfortunately for him, he undershot his goal, badly scraping his shins. Uttering a high-pitched wail that would give Michael Jackson a run for his money, he clutched his calf and tried to lick the wound clean. He got a splinter in his tongue for his troubles. Looking up he saw Kagome giving him a weird look and quickly straightened before he tried to jump up on the cursed stump again. His feet caught the edge and he fell face first in a face fault that would rival the ferocity of the sit's (a loud thud is head in the distance followed by a mushroom cloud and a string of curses) Inuyasha receives. Trying a third time he barely managed to keep his balance before he fell on his ass.

"Fuck it!" he turned to Kagome, straightening his clothes and dusting him self off. His dark red eyes glittered as he looked around:

And said "girl, let me tell you what
In case you didn't know it, I'm a fiddle player too
And if you care to make a dare
I'll make a bet with you

Now you play pretty good fiddle, girl but give this devil his due
I'll bet a fiddle of gold against your shards
Cause I think I'm better than you"

Well the girl said "my name's Kagome, and Inuyasha might kill me
But I'll take your bet you're gonna regret
Cause I'm the best there's ever been"

"SIT!" she screamed as she heard Inuyasha's string of protests from Kaede's village on the horizon. A small stick figure could be seen jumping up and down brandishing a toothpick. Naraku reached out and plucked said stick figure from the horizon before he applied an eraser to him effectively shutting him up. Everyone sighed in relief.

Kagome rosin up your bow and play your fiddle hard
Cause hell's broke loose in Kyoto

And Naraku deals the cards
and if you win you'll get this shiny fiddle made of gold
but if you lose Naraku gets your shards

Naraku opened up his case, and said, "I'll start this show"

And fire flew from his fingertips as he rosined up his bow

Sadly he went through several bows before he lost the pyrotechnics. Several horses were slaughtered before he could find the `perfect' hair and several trees died in the making of his new bow. He cursed the trees for the splinters they ultimately gave him. He would prevail!

When he pulled that bow across the strings, it made an evil hiss

It was almost like nails on a chalkboard causing everyone within a ten-mile radius to cringe. "Learn how to fucking play your instrument!" was heard coming from several directions followed by "Tune your instrument!" With a snarl Naraku complied. When he was finally finished, he began to play.

And a band of demons joined in, it sounded just like this

Scrrreeeeeeeech. Scccccrrrrrreeeeeeech. "Would you shut the fuck up and let me play!" Naraku shouted at the orchestra of demons behind him. "Goddamn! You could at least know how to hold you instrument properly let alone play it! Oh my god! Your posture is all wrong! And what is with the limp wrist?" When his demonic orchestra was to his liking, he continued to play.

When Naraku finished, Kagome said, "well you're pretty good old son
But just sit down in that chair right there and let me show you how it's done"

She played fire on the mountain, run, boys, run

The mountains in the distance burst into flames causing several villages to either run or meet their doom to the flames.

The devil's in the house with the rising sun,
Chicken in the bread pan picking out dough,
Granny does your dog bite, "no, child, no"

Naraku bowed his head because he knew that he'd been beat
And he laid that golden fiddle on the ground at Kagome's feet

With a sinister smirk, he let loose a spray of miasma, hoping to melt Kagome. She pulled out the garden hose and sprayed him in the face. "Damnit! Why didn't you melt?!" she screamed when all she saw was a soaked Naraku. "Oh well," she shrugged at his incredulous look.

And Kagome said, "Naraku, come on back if you ever want to try again
But I told you once, you son of a bitch, I'm the best there's ever been!"

She played fire on the mountain, run, boys, run
The devil's in the house with the rising sun
Chicken in the bread pan picking out dough
Granny does your dog bite, "no, child, no"

As the young child reached out to touch the cute little dog, it latched itself onto the child's hand. It grew in size to reveal Sesshoumaru who had been incognito. Biting off the child's arm, he continued on his merry way, his tail wagging happily, the hand sticking out of his mouth. Blood spurted behind him, giving off a sprinkleresque sound.