InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Nariko's Oneshots ❯ I'm sorry ( Chapter 8 )

I'm Sorry

 

Again, an idea came to me from the though of rain…. Totally went in a different direction than I intended, ended up being a note, no names though, it can be anyone you choose…

 

 

It was raining the day we found out. Everyone cried, but not me. Or so it seemed. I didn't cry on the outside, oh no, I stood tall, stayed strong, on the outside. But on the inside I was a wreck. My mother, my auntie, and my cousins truly cried, my brother kept to himself. Anyone else crying that day was just faking. I just knew it, I could see it in their eyes, these tears they shed, they were fake. But for the sake of those actually crying I stayed strong. People thought I was selfish, that I didn't care, just because I didn't cry. Fools. Of course I cared, I didn't know it then, but in the future, had he not died that day, the one who died, would eventually become the only one I could confide in, would be the only one who would believe. Now, its almost three years past, and I finally realize, the one that died, would be the only one who would listen, and its too late, too late, because he's gone. And that leaves me alone. Alone with only one other who believes, only one that believes. My brother doesn't know, nor does he care what I say, my mother conforms to her boyfriend and dubs me crazy, my `father' just humors me in hopes of me moving in, my friends also humor me, also think im crazy, my auntie is hard to read, she says she believes but if she really does is unknown to me. But because the one that died, is not here, I have one other who believes. Unfortunately the gods hate me, so the one other is far away. And writing this has inspired me to write a note to my conformist mother.

 

I'm sorry mom, I'm sorry that I'm not perfect, that I'm not innocent and quiet like you, I'm sorry that I'm not the opposite of my brother, I'm sorry that I'm different, I'm sorry that I'm not the way you want, that I'm not like everyone else, that I don't conform, that I'm unique, I'm sorry that you think I'm crazy because of what I believe and I'm really sorry, that despite the fact that you have more native blood coursing through your veins than I, you don't believe, but, its your problem, your loss, and when I leave, it will be you, not me who is alone, and it will be you, who has to explain to everyone why and where I have gone, but, because you did not pay attention to your complicated yet simple, ever changing yet always the same daughter, you will for once, not be able to explain, for that, I am not sorry

 

Maybe if you had listened I would consider staying, but, unfortunately for you, you did not listen. I left my heart open, but you did not understand, I cant help you fix yourself if nothings wrong, and now, I'm sorry, but ive gotta move on with my own life.

 

I will change and leave, but you will not see the signs, you'll brush it off as me being me, and you will not find me after I leave, I will have changed so much, that not even you, my own mother, will recognize me. So mom, tell my `dad' I do not love nor do I like him or my step siblings, tell my big brother that I love him and ill miss him, tell my cousins and my nana, and my aunts and uncles the same, and my godmother, tell her I love her a lot, and I will miss her greatly, and you mom, I am thankful that I have you as a mother, I love you and will miss you the most, but me leaving, is for the greater good.

 

 

~with love always

your darling daughter

~Nariko