InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Never Forget ❯ Can't Forget ( One-Shot )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Disclaimer: Rumiko Takashi owns Kagome, but this.. sort've story-thing is something I own.

Have you ever done something so horrible that every night you have nightmares? Even after you wake up screaming, the images of the ones you let down so crystal clear... You can see the blood-stains in their clothes, the flesh wounds covering them.. the look in their eyes.. oh, their eyes.. Imagine it, looking at someone who seems as if they had every ounce of hope drained from them, every bit of their soul sucked away..

I have.

And I've never forgotten what I did. Why I did it. More importantly, what I didn't do..

I can still hear their screams at night.. I can even feel their pain. I know why they died.. why I lived.. Because I was afraid.. even if I was the one who killed him in the end, it was out of fear.

I won't ask you to try to understand. There's too many chapters in my life, too much pain in the words, too little hope in the pages. I know you want to.. they all do, but they never will. I won't let them.

I hide myself in the shadows, letting the darkness into my soul, hoping, and praying that insanity overwhelms me. That I let myself slip into unconciousness.. that my memories.. all of them, just disappear.

But I know they cannot. Even now, they've burnt themselves into my mind, never to be erased.. never to be removed.. I can't smile anymore... I guess it's just fair.. No one can smile as much as I did forever.. No, it just doesn't work that way. No one is ever strong enough to be happy all of their life..

I can't blame them.. I want to.. I've tried.. I wasted away to nothing in only a day.. But I'm still here.. I'll always be here..

I've tried to kill myself before. Afterall, it's been six years. I was too afraid though.. too afraid to stop existing.. to experience more pain, more fear.. I guess that's my weakness.. I'm not strong enough.. Not strong enough to protect my friends, not strong enough to end my life.

And so, that's how I'll go on, for as long as I can.. It's my decision. I danced around the question for a half hour after their deaths before I decided to live as long as I could in pain.. I guess it's my own sort've compensation..

What I'm doing isn't called living.. No, I was never meant to live after this. All I'm doing now is exist.. Exist in the pain.. in the memories.. and that's all I'm ever going to do..