InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Never judge a schoolgirl by her short skirt ❯ Napoleon Complexes & Much Needed Spankings ( Chapter 1 )

Disclaimer: Rumiko Takahashi owns Inuyasha, therefore, I do not.

 

Uhh, I wasn't really sure how to rate this story, since I used some innuendo & referred to dangly bits. Nothing overtly sexual, it's just a bunch of schlock anyway.

 

By the way, can anybody out there tell me what the hell WAFF stands for? It burns my britches that I can't figure it out. Is it Wacky Adult Fan Fiction? Or Wrap Around Full Frontal, or maybe even Women Against Fucking Ferrets? Help me out here!

 

If there was such a thing as a moral to this story, it would be this: Stay in School, Kiddies!

 

*Edited to fix a minor spelling boo boo. Apparently, my `e-key' finger wasn't working well that day. Ironically, that's the middle finger on the left hand. Normally that one works quite well.

 

 

Never judge a schoolgirl by her short skirt.

 

Inuyasha was positively, absolutely dumbstruck. He couldn't believe it. All his preconceived notions were shot to hell in a hand basket. All this time, he had given her such grief over her “useless schooling” and poor prioritization skills. I mean really, what did she need an education for anyway? She already had a job. And after that? Well, she would stay at his side with him providing for her, of course. He hadn't made her aware of this small detail yet.

 

It was part of his five year master plan. First, kill Naraku. Next, complete the jewel. Last, but by no means least, mate the under clothed, beautiful, exasperating girl and produce a horde of little hanyous at a rate which Miroku could never hope to catch up with. And rub it in… constantly.

 

He had expected the final battle to be long and bloody, and hoped they would all make it out alive. But when it went down, how had Naraku met his demise? At the hand of a seemingly innocuous school girl. Feh!

 

Kagome had figured out a way to beat Naraku using his own tools of emotional manipulation against him. The kicker was how she did it; not with some spectacular burst of spiritual energy, or even a simple purifying arrow. Nope. The wench proceeded to psychoanalyze Naraku to death.

 

On and on she went about something called a Napoleon Complex and overcompensating for small penis size with those ridiculous tentacles and how he had chosen the wrong appendage to grow to massive proportions. At one point, she even called him a megalomaniacal freak, who obsessed over Kikyo because mommy-dearest didn't love him.

 

By the time she was done with him, the megalomaniacal freak in question's once deadly tentacles were drooping forlornly in the dirt and his chin was trembling in a most disturbing manner.

 

What no one noticed is that with each verbal beat down Kagome delivered, the jewel inside Naraku was steadily purifying itself of his evil. Finally, just prior to his head imploding, a pathetic trailing cry of “no one ever loved meeeeee,” was heard, fading off into nothing.

 

The hodgepodge group of warriors stood silently stunned in the clearing. Disbelief morphed into an incongruous sense of deflated euphoria. Naraku was gone! Now what the hell were they supposed to do with all that adrenaline?

 

“What the hell just happened?”

 

Kagome had the balls to flash a haughty grin his way and gloated, “That is what I learned in my so-called `useless school.'”

 

Kami, how he loved her; totally galling, adorable little ball buster that she was.

 

Oh well, the rest of his five year plan was still salvageable.

 

For the now, he would turn his overtaxed brain to things like sweet revenge for Kagome upstaging his battle prowess. Maybe he'd turn her over his knee and spank that luscious ass. Yeah, that was sounding pretty good. Maybe if he was lucky, she'd be wearing one of her `thongs' and he could get a couple of nice, stingey pops in. One can always hope.