InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ New Lives ❯ New Lives ( Chapter 1 )

New Lives

 

Soft footfalls produced the only sound in the otherwise silent clearing. The atmosphere, however, was anything but tranquil.

 

“Inuyasha,” Miroku tried, only to be cut off—again.

 

“Don't you even fuckin' think about tellin' me to `calm down,' bouzu!” the angry hanyou growled out, not breaking stride. Scratch that. Inuyasha wasn't angry, per se, but he was nearly beside himself with worry. For the past several hours he had paced the same eerily straight line in front of Kaede's hut, wearing a rough track in the abused Earth. Miroku sighed; he knew exactly what his hanyou friend was going through at the moment. Still, Inuyasha's confrontational attitude was making it increasingly difficult to sympathize.

 

“Inuyasha, listen.” The hanyou shot him a challenging glare, but remained silent. Satisfied that his words were at least going to get past those twitching ears this time, Miroku continued, “I have been through this twice already, and I shall soon have to go through it a third time.” Miroku paused. When he began this little speech, he had fully intended to offer comforting words of encouragement, but the surfacing of an old memory altered his purpose. “And if I remember correctly,” he said with a frown, “you weren't very understanding during those times. Why am I being so nice here? All you did for me was make fun of my—what was it?—oh, yes, incessant, pointless worrying.”

 

Inuyasha halted mid-step, shame crossing his features in a heavy grimace. Had he really said those horrible things to the monk? Had he really told him, in no uncertain terms, that it was pointless to worry because “what was going to happen was going to happen?” At the time, he thought the monk was just giving into mortal hysterics. It was the man's job to be strong, and that meant he couldn't show his concerns, right? It had seemed perfectly logical back then, but now… If someone said that to him after today, he knew he would absolutely blow a fuckin' gasket. And those ignorant, cruel words were exactly what he had spoken to the monk, his only true male friend, in Miroku's hour of need. Shame was nothing compared to what he was feeling at the moment.

 

“Sorry,” he murmured, lowering his head to hide his eyes as his ears drooped pitifully. And Miroku's irritation vanished as quickly as it had come. Standing, he walked up to the hanyou and clapped him on the back, embracing him with one arm across the shoulders.

 

“Don't worry about it, my friend. This is something you can't possibly understand until you go through it yourself. It is the same for both a man and a woman.” As if on cue, a small cry of pain reached Inuyasha's ears, causing them to flick back in the direction of the hut. Stepping out of Miroku's grasp, Inuyasha resumed his pacing, though his gait was noticeably calmer, less violent. That one sound, that nearly insignificant whimper, had reminded him that no matter how bad things were for him, they were infinitely worse for Kagome.

 

Kagome. His mate, his wife. Inside Kaede's small hut, she was going through the most agonizing ordeal of her young life. Not only could he hear her pain, he could smell it, breath it. And to know that he could do nothing about it, that he was in fact the cause of her torture; it was killing him. With each choked gasp, each cry, each monumental effort on her part, Inuyasha felt his guilt grow. It was so close to overwhelming him now, to transforming him into a sniveling pile of apprehension and anguish. Earlier today—had it really been not even a day?—when this madness began, he had vowed to be a man, to conceal his worries, his fears. But now, the hours of intense uncertainty had grated on his carefully constructed defenses, fraying his tattered nerves to the breaking point. It was a miracle he was still standing.

 

Inuyasha shuddered as he remembered some of the things Sango had threatened, and threatened to remove, from Miroku. He was eternally grateful Kagome had decided not to take a lesson from the taijiya. No, his miko had taken the completely opposite route. She knew her cries of distress would bother him, so she had been intentionally stifling herself. It humbled the normally arrogant hanyou, to know that even in the throes of nigh unbearable suffering, his mate was still thinking of him before herself.

 

And he wanted that to stop! He wanted to rush into the room, and tell her. Tell her that she could scream to her heart's content, blow out his eardrums, even if it would ease her pain to the tiniest degree. But he couldn't. The moment he entered that hut, she would see how much of a wreck he was, and…he didn't know how she would react. Over the past two years, he had become adept at reading his miko mate, predicting how she would respond to various things he did. But she had never seen him like this before. He had never been like this before. So completely consumed by fear so profound it nearly made him physically ill. Out here, with Miroku, he was still able to control himself. But if he went inside, met Kagome's gaze, his already fractured mask would crumble completely, revealing his panic, his weakness. And he couldn't do that; he needed to be strong for her above all else.

 

“Inuyasha.” Miroku's voice forced him back to the present, and he looked down to find the monk smiling wistfully up toward the baby blue sky. “I know you are worried, and rightfully so…but think about the gift you are receiving today. Can you think of anything in the entire world you would want more?”

 

Inuyasha glanced at the monk, then furrowed his brow as his eyes drifted towards the ground. The answer was as clear to him as his feelings for the woman currently working on delivering that gift.

 

“What's it like?” he asked before thinking twice. It was a question he had wanted to voice for a while now, but pride and ego had assured it went unasked. Neither seemed very important at the present moment.

 

Miroku chuckled lightly. “I…I can never hope to explain it, Inuyasha…holding your child in your arms for the first time…It is something you must experience for yourself.” Inuyasha's eyes glazed over, and Miroku was pleased to see a small smile gracing his features for the first time since Kagome had gone into labor that morning. A smile that immediately vanished the instant his own pregnant wife stepped out of the hut. Inuyasha was upon her before Sango even had a chance to open her mouth, loudly wondering what was wrong. The taijiya put up both hands to placate the frantic hanyou, before answering in a soothing voice.

 

“Relax, Inuyasha, Kagome is fine. It's just…well, she's been asking for you.” Inuyasha stared dumbly for a moment before nodding and moving past Sango into the entrance. As much as he didn't want to heed his mate's request, the thought of denying her anything, especially now, was simply revolting. If she wanted his presence, he would grant it, even though he feared cracking and shattering under the strain.

 

But as he pushed back the door mat, and locked eyes with his Kagome, his mate, everything became clear. She smiled at him, her chocolate orbs burning into his soul, purging it of his insecurities. It was…ok. It was alright to be afraid, to worry, to be weak. And most of all, it was ok for him to show these things, these central aspects of a humanity he sometimes tried too hard to hide. He suddenly felt extremely foolish for ever thinking otherwise.

 

She reached out her hand, and he was by her side in an instant, hovering over her as they stared into each other's eyes. For Kagome, it was a reaffirmance of everything she knew her hanyou held in his heart, everything that had been left unspoken between them. He had never told her he loved her, but she knew, beyond any insignificant, miniscule shadow of a doubt. Ever since he had bared his heart and soul to her that magical night over a year and a half ago, she had known. Words were not needed. How could words possibly express the depth of pure emotion she now saw swimming in his gaze? How was there room for doubt when she could see his soul, his life, everything that drove him in those amber pools? Her mate showed her every day just how much he loved her. From the moment she woke up in his arms to the time she returned to those arms to rest, she was treasured, protected, cherished.

 

Another contraction ripped through her, breaking the connection as Kagome squeezed her eyes shut. She dimly heard Kaede telling her it wouldn't be long now. Her mate settled behind her, supporting her, kissing her sweat-soaked forehead, brushing her matted hair out of her eyes. He held out his hand, and she grasped his larger one in both of hers, even as tears welled up in her eyes. In that singular moment, she had never felt more loved.

 

For perhaps another hour Kagome fought for them, for their as-of-yet unborn child, and for their family. Inuyasha's silent comfort allowed her to recover, to rebuild her resolve between contractions, and she drew strength from him when her body brought her to the breaking point. Then finally, blessedly, just as the sun was lowering below the horizon, a piercing wail echoed within the hut. It was the most beautiful sound either of them had ever heard, and the child that was placed in Kagome's arms moments later took their breath away.

 

“Our daughter…” Kagome breathed, even as the little girl began fussing hungrily. And as Kagome bared her breast, and fed their newborn child for the first time, Inuyasha couldn't help but feel utterly humbled yet again. Reverently he reached out, brushing his fingers along the child's smooth skin, tracing her canine ear delicately. The appendage twitched in annoyance, and the infant whined softly in her throat over the distraction from her meal, causing both new parents to grin widely.

 

“Yeah…” Inuyasha replied, incredibly amazed by the woman in his arms. She reeked of sweat, blood, and various fluids, and she looked like hell, but to him, she had never appeared more beautiful. She had given him a family, an impossible dream he had never dared to hope for. But then, hadn't their quest also been an impossible dream?

 

“What are we going to name her?” Kagome asked, to which Inuyasha merely shrugged. Didn't we discuss this? Indeed, they had spent many hours discussing baby names, but now, as Kagome held their child in her arms, all that planning went out the window. They were held captive by the moment, and for Inuyasha, this meant that only one name was truly appropriate.

 

“How about Aiko?” Kagome's smile widened as she glanced up at her hanyou. The name's usual meaning was “little love,” or “beloved,” but she knew Inuyasha had a different meaning in mind. Child of love…

 

“It's perfect,” she said, as she brought her lips to his. And it was. Their love had defeated countless demons. It had triumphed over darkness, both within their own hearts and in the world around them. It had even conquered time itself. And now it had created a new life, a shining testament to emotion so pure it would never wane, never falter. Centuries would pass, and their children would grow, and they would grow old, but their love would never fade. Their lives and their hearts would be forever intertwined. They truly were, bound to tomorrow.