InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Next Generation: Kohaku Chronicles ❯ Grandmother's Heart ( Chapter 2 )

AN: Written for the “Depression” theme for 10themes on livejournal.

 

Chapter Two: Grandmother's Heart

 

Kohaku trekked up the shrine steps toward Kaede's memorial, and he stepped before it and felt a sense of peace. He hadn't seen her shrine yet since he'd been away fighting youkai, and he regretted seeing her one last time before she died. The aging miko had past away two seasons ago, so it shocked him the last time he returned home to find the village mourning.

 

Kohaku had forgotten that Kaede had less time than the rest of them. It also saddened him that he barely knew her; at least, he didn't know her as well as his sister and Rin had.

 

He leaned onto his knees in front of the memorial, closed his eyes, and prayed in silence.

 

Cool breezes swept past his cheeks for several moments before he heard movement shifting in the bramble behind him. He opened one eye, and he relaxed when he discerned his visitor wasn't a threat.

 

“Kohaku-kun, I'm sorry to disturb you, but your sister's back from her bath with the children. She wants to speak to you.” He turned around and met Rin's brown eyes. She had a somber expression on her face. She glanced behind him, realizing where he was, and her eyes looked sadder.

 

Kohaku gave her a weak smile. “Thank you.”

 

He turned back to the shrine, and he moved to rise from his spot.

 

“Some days…” Rin's voice trailed off. “Some days it doesn't seem like she's gone.”

 

Kohaku regarded her with sympathy. He empathized with Rin's pain. He'd lost loved ones before, so many that sometimes he was shocked he hadn't become numb yet.

 

“Maybe she's not really gone, Rin-chan. Her heart is still in this place and with you,” he said walking toward her. He put a hand on her shoulder. She looked up at him with wide eyes, and she seemed slightly startled by his touch. She nodded and looked away shyly.

 

“Kohaku-kun, are you still sad… about your village?” Rin asked. Kohaku turned to her with curiosity. It seemed like a displaced question.

 

“Well, yes, but… I've come to terms with it,” he answered. “Why do you ask?”

 

“I… I don't know if I've gotten over Kaede's death yet,” she confessed. He saw tears brimming in the corners of her eyes. “I know I didn't know her long, but she took care of me, and I really never knew anyone like that. Sesshoumaru-sama… he's gone a lot and I'm never worried about him and death, but… the last time someone I loved died, I lost my memory of it.”

 

Kohaku nodded. “That's okay. My memories are complicated too…”

 

“You don't understand, Kohaku-kun,” she said, wiping her tears. “I… I felt more depressed for Kaede's death than my own mother's! And when I see Sango and Kagome with their kids, I feel like I'm a bad daughter for not remembering her. I don't remember any of them. Kaede was … like a grandmother to me, but she really wasn't. She was just…”

 

Kohaku leaned close to her, and immediately, Rin fell into his arms. She clutched him tightly and wept softly against him. He froze for a moment, feeling awkward at their closeness. He regretted his pause, and he lifted up his arms and embraced her, sharing in her pain.

 

“It's fine if you feel that way.” He sighed. “I'm just like you, Rin-chan. All I remember is the bad things. I don't even have any of my good memories left of my mother. I have to rely on Sango to tell me, and when she does, it feels like the stories belong to another boy.”

 

Rin relaxed in his arms and looked up at him. “Do you remember anything at all about your mother?”

 

“Bits and pieces. I remember her cleaning my father's weapons, or she would bathe me or take me outside to sit on her lap as she waited for my father and the other slayers to come home.” Kohaku furrowed his brow. “But beyond that, I don't remember. I was so young.” He turned to Rin. “You don't remember anything at all?”

 

Rin looked beyond his shoulder, staring off in the distance. “There is one memory, but sometimes I'm not sure if it's even real.” She inhaled deeply, and he watched as a single tear trailed down her cheek. “I was crying. I don't know what for, but I remember being upset… then, I heard singing. Really pretty singing, and then I smelled flowers. I looked up to see my mother bending over, waving a flower in my face to distract me, and she was singing to me.” She smiled, and Kohaku felt her ease. “It was my favorite flower, a daisy.” Then her peaceful expression faded. “But I don't remember her face anymore. It's a blur. I just remember the tune and the smell of daisies.”

 

She buried her face in his chest. “That's all, and I feel terrible I can't remember more.”

 

“But you remember Kaede-sama, and I'm sure your mother is at peace knowing you were being taken care of by Sesshoumaru-sama and by Kaede-sama, and now, by my sister and Miroku-sama,” Kohaku said.

 

Rin pulled away and wiped her remaining tears. She nodded with a light smile. “I know, but it feels much better telling you this.” She stared at him intently and her smile grew more affectionate. “I'm glad you're here, Kohaku-kun. Are you staying longer this time?” The hope in her voice was unmistakable.

 

“I don't know,” he said truthfully. “I need to talk to my sister and the others about something important.” He frowned, realizing he'd almost forgotten his true intention for coming back here. He looked up and realized Rin was bothered by his expression. He quickly smiled to ease her worry. He changed the subject and looked back at Kaede's shrine. “I'm glad I finally got a chance to pay my respects.” He turned around and gave a light bow.

 

Rin cocked her head at him. “Kohaku-kun, you know you can tell me anything, right?”

 

He stopped. “Of course.”

 

“If you need any help, please ask me. I'm… I'm learning how to be a miko now. Kagome-san and Miroku-sama are teaching me. I could assist you… if you ever need it. Miroku-sama says that I have potential for great spiritual power,” Rin said. Kohaku was shocked she brought up the subject. It was like she somehow knew he was back in the village to ask for Inuyasha's help.

 

“Alright, Rin-chan, but…I want you to be safe. What I do is not always safe,” he said.

 

Rin glared at him. “Don't you treat me like that too, Kohaku-kun. I'm going to be a good miko and protect this village someday. You'll see.”

 

Kohaku nodded, throwing his hands up in a peace offering. “Alright, alright! I didn't mean to offend.” When Rin settled down, Kohaku tugged on her sleeve. “Come on, let's go back and see what my sister wants.”

 

Reluctantly, Rin nodded and walked beside him. Kohaku glanced toward her, seeing the emotions changing on her face. What he said really hit a nerve, but he truthfully didn't want to put her in danger. He really had no idea Rin was interested in being a miko, or even becoming a warrior miko. He'd definitely ask Kagome-sama about it when he got back.

 

Frankly, the idea intrigued him, and if this upcoming endeavor was as bad as he'd heard, he could probably use the extra help if she proved that she really was able to hold her own against danger. Kohaku wasn't doubtful; he'd seen Rin stand strong under pressure many times before.

 

He'd be worried for her safety, of course; that was no secret, but having her by his side on this trip oddly thrilled him in other respects. First and foremost, he knew he wouldn't be quite so lonely.

 

With Rin around, it was impossible for him to feel that way.