InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Nigatsu no Hoshi (Stars of February) ❯ Kagome's Conflicting Soul ( Chapter 13 )

Suteki: **IMPORTANT** incase some of you SKIPPED the authors note thing before this chapter, here's a recap…hey, I'm glad that you all liked the past chapters. Okay, my internets down for a while, so in the meantime, I'm going to try and bust out with a few chapters to hit yall with. Quick question though, I need my readers advise. I was thinking about throwing in some good ol' lemon in here. I've never done it before, but I'm confident that I can do it. essie, hanyou_kagome, and The_magician, I'm mainly worried about turning you 3 away, since you're may loyal readers. Tell me what you think (along with OTHER READERS as well) and then ill make my decision. I'm just worried that this story just has too much stuff happening without a break. So maybe I'll just throw in a chap with nothing going on except further development with kag/inu. Tell me what you think!

Shizuka: I'm going to say anything since she already wrote a lot, but we are both depending on your reviews for this little idea. Arigatou!

Chapter 12: Kagome's Conflicting Soul

Two days have passed since Katasuki's addition to the group. Shippou could ONLY be found attached to Katasuki, and had NEVER been so ecstatic. His mouth had been on overdrive while he tried to tell his mother of just about everything that he and his new-found-family had done over the past years. Miroku, Sango, inuyasha, and even kagome tried to steer clear of the little motor-mouth after a while. While they were hiding, Miroku, Sango, and inuyasha were all busy trying to figure out the situation regarding kagome.

Kagome herself, preferred to be alone, much Inuyasha's dismay. He would still watch her from a distance as she sat either at the well, the god tree, or the nearby stream meditating. He couldn't have gotten close even if she hadn't said anything, because while she would sink into the depths of her mind, her miko powers would swirl around her and would surely purify him in an instant. `stupid wench, she probably wouldn't even know it if she burnt me to a crisp. Stupid miko's…always causing some sort of problems, keh!'

None of them were getting close to coming up with a solution to Kagome's `condition'. They were still trying to figure out what Katasuki was going to do. She had promised to help, but so far, all she's done was mess around with shippou. Which was understandable, but, they were all getting restless.

"Good day Houshi." Came a smooth and calm voice.

Miroku was drawn from his meditation by the voice, "Katasuki-sama? How can I help you?"

"I am sorry to disturb you, but could you point me in the direction of the Taijiya?"

"oh, Sango-sama? Um, I believe that she is training with Kirara east of the river. Why do you ask?"

"I have an idea of what may be wrong with kagome-sama, but I need Sango-chans help with it. Thank you my dear Houshi."

Miroku watched her walk off in the direction of Sango with a confused look on his face. `amongst Shippou's ranting, she had enough time to come up with a theory? `Smart and beautiful…a deadly combination, one that's all too popular in my company.'

As the fox youkai approached the Taijiya and neko companion, she could hear a battle in progress. She could feel the energy radiating off two beings. `she is strong, the two of them are accenting each others auras. The Taijiya does not use any kind of spell, threat, or bribery to attain the neko's loyalty, it is given freely. It is a shame that not all youkai and humans could live so peacefully.' She walked over a small hill and watched the scene infront of her. The woman was leaping through the air towards the fire neko, who was also in the air. The woman was wielding a wooden sword and swinging at the youkai, who would then block it with its legs and then swing back; they were sparring. Kirara was the first to notice the other youkai approach, and settled on the ground, quickly followed by her master. "oh, ohayo Katasuki-sama, I didn't see you there. Can I help you with something? If you're looking for shippou, I'm pretty sure he's with kagome at the moment." "Thank you but no, I was looking for you. I came to discuss my idea about helping kagome."

Sango's face suddenly gleamed with hope. "oh! You've figured out how to save her? That's just wonderful!" The older woman shook her head, "no, I haven't gotten that far yet. But I do believe that I may have come up with a way to draw a solution."

Sango walked over to stand infront of Katasuki, earnestly waiting for her to continue. Seeing this, she proceeded, "I want you to spar with Kagome-sama. I want you to make her fight with you, using her powers, both miko and youki. You see, I believe that it is possible for one of the energy sources to be dominant, and we need to figure out which one it is. As with emotions, there is a more powerful, but also a more determined or forceful one. If we can determine which one is which, then we have a place to start. If we can equal them out somehow, then I believe that we can neutralize the threat."

Sango was now watching the ground, intently studying a rock as she nodded. She had understood her theory, but was now worried that kagome might be injured by the procedure, or possibly injure her sparring partner on accident, `guess I'll just have to trust her and see what happens.'

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

After agreeing and preparing, Sango set out to find kagome. After searching for nearly an hour, she stumbled upon her. She was sitting in a tree at the edge of a cliff, staring off into a vast canyon. `I'll never get used to having to look in trees to find her, its just too weird.' Kagome was too deep in thought to sense her friend coming, and nearly fell off her perch when she called out to her, "Oi, kagome-Chan!" "Sango! You scared the CRAP out of me! Ugh, yeah, what do you want?" she called down to her, not moving from her spot, only looking over her shoulder. "You want to do some practice with me and Katasuki today? We think it might help you." "Practice? Isn't it a bad idea to use my powers if they're causing such problems? Last time I tried training with inuyasha, I passed out, or do you not remember?"

Sango sighed, she thought she might be scared. "This is different kagome. Katasuki thinks that she might be able to help you with this if she watches you battle with me. Now come down and fight me girl!" kagome sat and thought for a moment, it was Katasuki's idea huh? She trusted her opinion, she was very wise. With that thought, she stepped off the tree branch to land gracefully next to her friend. "Lets do it then!" "That's more like it." Sango smiled back at kagome, who's face was still a little wary.

They walked the long ways back to the village, following Kagome's nose to Katasuki, who seemed to have settled somewhere just outside of the town. They walked in silence, just enjoying the peace of the calm forest, and each others company. Sango and kagome had developed a close connection over the course of their journey, and didn't even need to speak to know what the other was thinking. When the village was in sight, kagome veered to the west, and moments later they found Katasuki who was sitting in a clearing, apparently waiting for them patiently. Upon their arrival, she stood to great them. "Great, now lets get started shall we?"

Sango took her place opposite of kagome, at the boundary of the trees. The field was about the size of a baseball diamond, so they were a good 300 feet apart. They both positioned themselves in a fighting stance, ready to begin. Sango, being the more experienced one, made the first move. She charged at kagome with her practice katana bared. "Try using a spiritual barrier kagome!" kagome did as Katasuki ordered, and put up a small shield in front of her to meet Sango's weapon. It held strong, cackling at the contact of Sango's attack. "Good, now attack her with your youki!" kagome hesitated, not quite sure if she wanted too. She still wasn't too sure how too. But, she had, in secret, been practicing with her claws. She held her hands in front of her, and watched as they extended and began to glow in a red light. She raised them up and then threw them back down, and watched as bolts of light shot from her hand. Katasuki smiled when she felt no miko energy in the attack, she had gotten that much control at least. Sango was able to dodge the shots, and came back at kagome for the next assault. But before she could get to her, kagome fell to one knee again.

`That's it. That was simple enough, but I want to keep going a little more, she looks like she can continue.'

Sure enough, kagome stood again, and nodded to Sango to let her know that she wanted to keep going. Sango was hesitant, so kagome attacked. She used her claws again, but this time, the light was intermingled with purple energy and the attack shot out in different directions, nowhere near Sango. Kagome fell to the ground again, and she was panting. Sango looked worriedly at Katasuki, but she just waved at her, telling her to keep going. Sango didn't argue, and she raced to kagome who looked up at her and her eyes flashed with red and purple light as she fought to put up a shield. The violet dome appeared around her, but there were undertones of red that flashed and cackled inside the shield around kagome, bouncing against the barrier.

"Okay, stop Sango, that's enough"

Sango immediately slid to an abrupt stop, halting right infront of the unstable shield produced by her friend. "Kagome! Are you okay??" she yelled over the crackling. She was worried, she couldn't see kagome through the light, and she wasn't making any reply to her question. All of a sudden, the shield flashed and dissipated. The ground that had been inside the barrier was charred and smoking. In the middle of the destruction laid kagome, out cold.

"What happened to her?! Is she going to be alright?" Sango screamed frantically. ` I knew I shouldn't have pushed her!!!' she screamed to herself.

"Calm down dear, lady Kagome is fine. Her powers got the better of her, but she'll wake soon, just wait. I thank you Sango, this has helped me a lot."

Sango blinked, she thought that it had been a failure; she didn't see anything that helped her to understand the predicament. "What did you observe that I did not, Katasuki-sama?"

"Did you not feel it? In her attacks, the barrier, in her very aura…her demon bloom is fighting for the dominance that the miko power secures at the moment. Kagome favors the miko energy, being familiar with it, and the youki is becoming restless, fighting its way to the surface. The battle just now was not between you and kagome, it was the youki and miko chi fighting each other. Whenever the miko chi is used, the youki forces a portal by itself, trying to replace the holy power. At this time, the miko chi tries to purify it, but is unable too since the youki holds the same life pattern as its host, which it is unable and unwilling to harm. So, they are fighting a losing battle amongst themselves, unknowingly destroying their host in the process."

Sango could only stare at her, eyes big as billiard balls, completely lost. "oookay…got it. So in a nutshell…the youki is uncontrollable, and the miko energy is unable to settle it."

"Correct"

~*~*~*~*~*~

While `Chi 101 with Miss Katasuki Rosuto' was transpiring, kagome was lost in her own mind.

At first, she could hear the faint voices of Sango and Katasuki, but they soon faded entirely. She fluttered her eyes open, trying to regain her composure. She blinked repeatedly, not able to gain her sight, or so she thought. She soon realized, that she was no longer in the field she was fighting Sango in. "Sango…Katasuki?" she gasped as she heard her own voice echo off into the blackness that surrounded her. She stood on shaky legs, and looked around. She couldn't see anything, literally. The darkness was so think, that she had to raise her hand to her nose so she could see it. She quickly began quivering in fear, and bolted her eyes shut tight…it was dark…too dark and it was getting increasingly cold. She shivered as she felt a presence behind her, a very familiar and welcomed one. Her eyes shot open as she turned around, `Inuyasha!' she said to herself, still afraid to speak again. Sure enough, when she turned towards the direction of the presence, she saw inuyasha…but that's not all she saw…he was with her…with "Kikyou" she spat out into the darkness, not even noticing the eerie echo that led in its wake.

Inuyasha was embracing Kikyou, as she stared over his shoulder towards the now very shocked and very pissed kagome, and smirked. Kagome let out a loud growl in response. Kikyou pushed inuyasha away from herself, and then looked into his eyes. Kagome looked into his eyes as well, and they were void of life, the glistening gold was replaced with a pale yellow, the flaming amber of the eyes she loved were now dead. Then she watched in horror as inuyasha leaned forward and kissed Kikyou with all the love and passion that she herself longed for.

Kagome fought back the tears, and was finally able to shut her eyes, forcing the tears out in the action. But even in the shelter of her own eyelids, there was a show for her. Images of inuyasha and Kikyou appeared before her closed eyes, scenes that she had long forced out of her mind. The haunting images of the past, the ones that had caused her so much hurt…so much hatred. Then…she heard Inuyasha's voice. "I'm sorry kagome, I promised to go to hell with Kikyou, I must do it when the time comes." She cringed at the familiar words, the words he spoke to her when she had confessed her love for him some years ago. "I just don't love you the way I do Kikyou," `what?! He never said that to me!' "She's just so much stronger and more beautiful than you are kagome" the voice became a little harsher and crueler, as it stabbed her through the heart. ` I knew it! I knew that's how he thought of me! I was always second rate in his heart!'

She was in a full-fledged rage now, and growled as she opened her eyes fiercely. Expecting to see Kikyou and inuyasha, she was completely prepared to slice both their throats as the kissed each other. But, she was greeted by her own face. It was like someone put a mirror infront of her, full length. She stared into the reflection's eyes as she gasped in surprise. The eyes of the one that stared back flashed red, and she was smiling like the devil himself. The manifestation flexed its claws and then proceed to speak, "its alright to hate kagome. They hurt you, you can hurt them back. Revenge is the greatest feeling in the world. Inuyasha hates you, always has and you know it. Kikyou, keh, Kikyou's just a bitch and deserves to die regardless." The voice was harsh, but was still her own.

Kagome smiled and flexed her extended claws as she listened to her minds words. She then watched as the image of her was consumed in a vivid red, a blood red. Soon, all that was left was the red light, and it lingered infront of her; throbbing along with the heartbeat that she could feel in her chest, the same that pounded in her ears.

`That is…that's the youki in my blood!' she retracted her claws and calmed the red flashes erupting in her eyes as realization dawned on her. "No! You are only feeding me lies. Inuyasha does NOT hate me! And I do not hate him, why are you telling me this? Leave me alone!"

As she screamed at the glowing mass, she felt a presence behind her. She turned reluctantly, knowing who it was. It was inuyasha, but this time, he was alone. He stood only a few feet infront of her. "inu…yasha…" she whispered. She looked into his eyes, and was met by the fiery pools she knew and loved. Without replying, he walked over to her and embraced her as his lips met hers in the same passion and desire that she held for him. She closed her eyes into the kiss, and as she did, she was met by another onslaught of images. She saw images of the past, of them holding hands, of their first kiss, of all the sweet words he had said to her when he let his guard down, of all the nights they had spent watching the starry skies together, of the first time she saw him. She began to cry as his voice flowed into mind. "Kagome! Don't leave me!" she remembered this as the night they fought the thunder brothers, "I need you kagome," the time Kikyou trapped her on her side of the well, "I love you, I will always protect you."

She felt tears return, but this time tears of joy, the tears of her fears being settled. She opened her eyes as she felt the loss of Inuyasha's lips. She watched as once again, she was met by her reflection. But this one, resonated of holy light, and smiled sweetly. The demon traits were gone, except for the pointed ears, and she was wearing miko robes. " You know what is true in your heart, you love inuyasha and he deserves no place in your heart that is tainted with malice, he loves you." Then the figure slowly faded in violet light, but this time, it didn't disappear, but was replaced by another form. "Midoriko? I thought that you existed only in the jewel, how can you still be with me?"

The form of the older woman in ancient armor smiled at her and spoke sweetly. "Lady Kagome, I did not only reside in the Shikon no Tama. Did you not know, that you are the reincarnation of me?"

"But…I thought I was the reincarnation of-" she was interrupted before the `forbidden ones' name left her lips. "You are correct, but she was the reincarnation of me, of the jewel. When the jewel vanished, my soul was released from it. As a result, it returned to your body where it originally would have resigned if not contained by the jewel."

Kagome `o'ed in response.

"But I did not bring you here to tell you this. Lady Kagome, you must fight the darkness. You must fight the twisted lies of your past hatred. Your youki is feeding of the traces of hatred to become stronger, to win over the purity in your soul. You must tame it, clear all the feelings that the youkai in you can manipulate. Keep in mind; it is not your enemy in the sense, so you must not try to purify it completely. It is only desperate for dominance and recognition, you must satisfy it in some way. I have faith in you, and you have my strength as well, may Kami show favor on you."

And with that, the vision faded, and she was left with the glows of the red and violet light which had now become separate and waited as if expecting her to pick which one she favored. She felt alone, yet could still hear Midorikos words, and could still feel Inuyasha's touch. "I can do this" she spoke aloud as she turned to face the glowing redness of her soul. "I will put an end to my souls bickering, and establish peace within myself once again…"

Suteki: so…what you think???I kinda got on a role there, so I'm sorry if it was kinda long.

Shizuka: just as a reminder, please leave us your opinion on the following chapters, arigatou!