InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Nightmare's Memories ❯ Alone ( Chapter 8 )

Disclaimer: Gee, I don't own him? Damn. . .

Author's Note: ::sings along to Xmas songs::

^_^ Hiya guys! Hope y'all had a GREAT Turkey Day! ^_^

Now, before anything else, I just want to thank all the readers of this fic- thanks so much for your support and patience when it comes to my updating this. Also, many thanks for your prayers! ::hugs:: My dad's great- though he came back really tired. We *are* being sued, but it's really just our insurance company that's in trouble. . .

So no worries (as of yet)! ^_^;

Anyway, I don't think there were any questions, so that's it!

I dedicate this chapter to all my readers, but especially to kuroinu, who has remained very loyal to this fic, despite my naughty updating habits. (Not that the rest of you haven't ^_^;;;)

Enjoy! ^_^ ::hugs, pocky, and leftover pumpkin pie::

~*~

Being alone.

It's funny, really-

How those who are never alone crave for the silence of it- yearn to be able to hear their own thoughts, to bask in their own imagination.

And those who are constantly indulged in it-

Choking on the reality of loneliness-

How much they wish to be beside someone else.

How much they yearn that their thoughts would be muted, their imaginations silenced.

Being alone- - -

Trapped inside yourself- - -

Suffocating on your own horrors- - -

With no one there to save you.

~*~*~*~*~

Nightmare's Memories

~*~*~*~*~

~Chapter Eight: Alone~

~"Disgusting, vile creature!" a woman spat, her nose wrinkling in absolute disgust as she tried to block her children's eyes with a hand. "Get away from here!"

"But-!" the little boy protested, his amber orbs full of raw hurt. "I'm just asking for a little foo-!"

"GO!" the eldest child- a male- screamed, picking up a rock from the ground and throwing it blindly in the beggar's direction.

It hit the boy squarely between the eyes, knocking him forcefully to the ground as a warm trickle of blood seeped down his face.

It hurt.

But their words hurt more.

"Freak!" the twin daughters of the elder lady taunted behind their mother, sticking out their tongues. "Freak of nature!"

"But I-!"

"We gave you a chance to leave," the woman hissed at the young male, her eyes glittering coldly as she too picked up a rock. "Now we shall have to beat you away from our home by force!"

And they rained down.

Rock after rock.

Some as tiny as pebbles, some as large as small boulders.

They bruised his ragged skin, tore his baggy clothes, marred his muddy skin, shattered his frail bones.

"Go freak, go!" the girls' voices mocked as the little boy tried his best to escape- his body weighed down with sadness and stone. "Run away, freak! Run away!"

"I'm not a fr-!" the boy weakly insisted, coughing up blood. "I-!"

"You're a freak!" they chorused, giggles pouring from their smirking lips.

"Stop it!" the child begged as another stone found its way to his body, landing upon his hand and breaking two fingers.

"'Stop it'!" one of the woman's sons taunted, faking the child's voice. "'Stop it'!"

The family laughed.

That family. . .

They were pushing it thin. . .

He wasn't asking much, just a little food!

Why must they be so cruel?!

The boy snarled, his eyes flickering between the colors of maroon and gold.

"Ooo, look, the freaks getting angry!" the woman roared with laughter, completely missing the way the child's claws were lengthening, his amber orbs turning completely red.

They smelt delicious. . .

*

The rushing of the stream barley muted his cries.

Cries not of pain.

Cries not of sadness- - -

But of anger.

"I HATE THEM!" the boy yelled as he hit the running water. The liquid rushed between his toes, sending icy chills up his legs as it burnt his ankles. "I HATE THEM ALL!"

Screaming in frustration he kicked his reflection, clawing at his dirty clothes. "DAMN IT, WHY WON'T THE SMELL OF THEIR BLOOD GO AWAY?!"

Falling to his knees he continued to punch at the river bed, the rocks and sand irritating his claws as his mangled haori ripped, falling down his blistered, bruised arms as he squeezed his eyes shut.

. . .

Each one of them. . .

Every member of that family. . .

Dead.

He'd killed them.

Killed them- - - !

Ripped out their stomachs and their eyes; feasted on their hearts and livers.

He could still taste the foul bile in his mouth.

"I hate them!" he hissed, orbs flashing an angry . "I hate myself!"

Look at him!

He was disgusting!

And- and vile, like the woman said!

He was a freak!

A freak. . .

Alone in this world. . .

. . .

If only. . .

If only he was a full something- - - instead of a hanyou!

"I HATE MYSELF!" he bellowed to the surrounding forest, his talons wedging themselves into his arms, drawing hot blood.

He blinked.

It trickled slowly down his arms- leaving agonizing welts and red trails in its wake.

. . .

It felt good. . .

It erased his mind of all his problems, all his inner pains and worries- instead allowing him to concentrate on the searing burn of ripping flesh as he clawed at his torso and face, relishing the feel of skin beneath his claws.

'I hate myself.'

He tore at his legs, his chest, his neck, his hands- anything that held blood- and watched with sickening pleasure as the ribbons of redness swirled down his limbs.

'I'm worth nothing.'

Blisters caused by villagers and long nights of lonely walking popped, oozing clear, fiery puss over his tender skin.

'I deserve the hurt inflicted upon me.'

He yanked at his stained hair, bit down on his forearms, tugged at his ears- anything and everything to induce self-pain.

'I'm a freak.'

He wanted to make himself cry. He wanted to make tears of pain flow.

But he couldn't.

He never cried.

He never even whimpered.

But he kept trying.

So he stood there, in the middle of the river, all but killing himself as the sun beat down and the green leaves swished in the wind- oblivious as the once crystal-blue stream turned dark, blood red.

*

The boy lay in the frigid waterbed long after his tantrum had quelled.

His mussed, dirty hair framed his bloody face and body, his eyes locked on his reflection.

He was a mess- inside and out.

His face was bruised and almost completely violet - his left eye swelling shut. Open gashes made their way from his forehead all the way down his body, still weakly spewing maroon liquid. His ears were ragged and weak upon his head, flopping forward in defeat. His lean body was covered in broken blisters- each one throbbing in weak agony as his torn muscles and fractured bones burnt.

But that was just the outside wounds.

His soul- - -

His soul had taken the most damage.

You could see it through his dull, blank amber eyes.

He was dying inside out, others' words and his own hatred eating away at him.

'Disgusting!

Vile!

Horrific!

Evil!

Hell-thing!

Monster!

Freak!

Freak!

Freak, freak, freak!'

"I am a freak," the boy hissed, his hands clenching into fists. "A fucking freak. . ."

He heard a watery footfall from behind him.

His swollen ears flicked.

?!

"Who's there?" he snarled, infuriated that his privacy had been interrupted.

"A freak, are you?" a male's voice smirked, completely ignoring the boy's question.

"What does it matter to you?" the child snapped, glaring over his shoulder.

Yes, there was a man there.

A tall man with dark hair- - -

And even darker eyes.

"I'm simply asking," the stranger shrugged, looking away.

"Are you making fun of me?!" the littler one accused, getting quickly to his feet and ignoring a stab of pain.

"Of course not," the elder replied, a small smile on his face. "Just confirming what I'd heard."

The boy growled softly.

He did not like this intruder. . .

"Tell me, child," the man suddenly spoke. "Do you know any other freaks?"

His growls ceased.

. . .

?

"Because, you see," the male continued, "I own a freak show. You could meet some little friends- hell- perhaps even some worse off than you. Just follow me."

'Worse off. . . than me. . . ?'

His young mind was intrigued.

The man held out an icy hand.

"Would you like to come, little boy?"

The child considered, glancing the stranger warily up and down.

'Say yes,' a voice in his mind encouraged. 'Say yes, you'd like to go to the freak show. . .'

. . . Should he?

. . .

Not like he had anything to loose. . .

"Yes," the boy replied slowly, gingerly taking the male's hand.

He felt something pinch his palm.

?!

Some sort of. . . sleeping draft. . .

"Don't worry, child," the dark intruder smirked as the little one's vision grew fuzzy. "Now you'll have a home."

And Inu-Yasha's blacked out; knowing he would later regret his decision.~

Her eyes snapped open as a burning pain ripped through her body- like a dull knife slicing her open from head to feet.

Screaming silently she clutched her pounding head.

NO!

NO NO NO!

NOT AGAIN!

PLEASE, NOT AGAIN!

"Stop!" she whispered, rolling from side to side; her eyes squeezed tightly shut. "STOP IT!"

"What the hell-?!" someone's sleepy voice gaspe- ~What- - - what is going on. . .?!" he yelled in fearful pain as his hand burned like a fire.~

Miroku.

"It's Kagome agai-!"~His armor had been ripped off his torso along with his shirt, and his stomach had been punctured in such a way that it allowed each layer of skin and muscle to be peeled away from the body, exposing his internally bleeding intestines.~

Sango.

"What's wrong, Kagome-cha-?"~Bones crumpled like paper only to be unpleasantly formed again. Canine like teeth pushed though his sore gums. His eardrums popped- completely shattered- only to be grown back at a painstakingly slow rate- his hearing intensifying to an almost unbearable level.~

Shippo.

"Kagom-?!"~ Ripped out their stomachs and their eyes; feasted on their hearts and livers.

He could still taste the foul bile in his mouth.

"I hate them!" he hissed, orbs flashing an angry . "I hate myself!"~

Inu-Yasha. . .

Inu-Yasha!

"Inu-Yasha!" she sobbed, turning away as he turned to secure eye contact. "Go- Go away!"

"Kagome-?! What the hell is going o-?!"~ His ears were ragged and weak upon his head, flopping forward in defeat. His lean body was covered in broken blisters- each one throbbing in weak agony as his torn muscles and fractured bones burnt.~

"STOP IT!" she screamed- - -

Hay slowly beginning to fall upwards as she sobbed.

Miroku's eyes widened. 'Again. . . ?'

"No!" Inu-Yasha growled, oblivious to the girl's trembles. "*YOU* stop it!"

She refused to acknowledge him- instead curling into a ball, screaming and sobbing.

"GOD DAMN IT, KAGOME! LISTEN TO ME!"

"No! NO!" she cried. "I can't take it anymore! N-No more!

No more sleep!"

One of Onigumo's spiders exploded.

"No more nightmares!"

A second followed, splattering the walls with intestines and blood.

"NO MORE MEMORIES!"

A floorboard wrenched from the ground, slamming into the wall with such force that the little car tipped slightly to the side.

Shippo's face paled.

"Inu-Yasha," Sango whispered, touching the growling hanyou's arm. "Leave her-"

"No! She's going to listen to me, damn it! And she's going to LOOK at me when I talk to her!" he snarled, grabbing the ebony haired girl's arm.

She flinched but he ignored it; pushing her onto her back so she would stop rocking back and forth; locking her hands above her head and straddling her waist, giving her no option but to look up at his fac- - -

~Erasing his mind of all his problems, all his inner pains and worries- instead allowing him to concentrate on the searing burn of ripping flesh as he clawed at his torso and face, relishing the feel of skin beneath his claws.~

"Kagome," he hissed, shaking her gently. "I want to help you, fuck it al-!"

~'I hate myself.'~

The flying hay began to swirl in a stormy wind.

"I don't want you to be afraid to look at me- at any one of us!" he whispered almost desperately, his amber eyes boring into her tear filled blue ones. "I don't want you to hurt, Kagome! I want you to stop this! You're strong! Fight i-!"

~He tore at his legs, his chest, his neck, his hands- anything that held blood- and watched with sickening- pleasure- -

"Fight it, Kagome! I don't want anything about me to cause you pain!"

as- - - the ribbons. . . the ribbons of redness. . .

"I was a fool and my past hurts me too much as it is! It shouldn't hurt you as well!"

. . .

"I don't want you to hurt, Kagome. I want you to be happy! I want you to be so fucking perky that everyone in a mile radius wants to strangle you! So fight this!"~

The girl stared blankly up at the boy.

'Wha. . . What. . . ?'

. . .

Her. . .

Her mind. . .

Her mind was her own. . .

Not a prisoner to his memories. . .

She wasn't seeing his thoughts.

She wasn't seeing his blood.

She wasn't seeing his past at all.

The only thing she was seeing- - -

Were his pair of beautiful amber eyes.

"Inu-Yasha. . ." she choked, trembling as the floating hay fell to the floor like snow; unnoticed by both Kagome and Inu. "I. . . I. . . I'm sorry. . ."

He blinked at her, his hold upon her wrists loosening slightly. ". . . ? For what?"

"E. . . everything. . . everything you went through. . ."

. . .

'Oh.'

The boy said nothing, looking away.

". . . It's not your fault."

. . .

Then. . .

Then why did she feel like it was. . . ?

Well. . .

It didn't matter.

Something else did, though.

"Still," the girl continued softly, touching his cheek with a trembling hand. "You know what. . . ?"

"Mm?"

"You're not alone anymore. . ."

. . . !

Inu-Yasha froze, her words hitting a spot long forgotten inside his heart.

Not. . . alone. . . ?

Looking slowly back down at the female, she smiled weakly.

"And you won't be alone again. . . I'll stay with you as long as you want. Even if I'm insane."

She giggled weakly. "But you might have to visit me at the asylum, right?"

The hanyou remained silent.

But his eyes told it all.

'Thank you, Kagome.'

~*~

^_^;; Sorta weird, I guess. . .

But I hope you liked it all the same. ^_^

(Reminds me of volume 12: The Belonging Place ^.^;;;)

Please R&R!

Ja ne!

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