InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Nightmares of the Soul ❯ Light of the Dawn ( Chapter 4 )

This story is dedicated to my wonderful, talented, awesome editor, Sue Sue Magoo.

Thank you for all your help!

 

 

Light of the Dawn

 

Kagome's scream echoed through the quiet night.

 

She opened her eyes with a gasp, clutching at the fading pain in her chest. She stared uncomprehending at the rotting wood wall in front of her, the dirt floor under her knees.

 

She was kneeling in the middle of an abandoned hut. The shrine was gone, no sign of the old priestess and her black orb. Kagome rose shakily to her feet, looking around, trying to understand. Had it all been an illusion? All of it?

 

She rubbed her chest, the last of the physical pain slowly fading. The emotional pain, though, was still searing through her, all the horrors she had experienced still strong in her memory. Could it really have been nothing more than an illusion? Where had the old woman gone?

 

Kagome staggered out of the hut in a daze, slowly taking in the night forest, the welcome sound of chirping crickets, the dazzling light of the stars. The forest seemed so alive, even at night, compared to the one in the vision. She looked around, pain throbbing in her heart. She heard a stream gurgling in the distance, and panic flooded her as she remembered the black stream from the nightmare.

 

Inuyasha! What had happened to Inuyasha? Was he okay?

 

She remembered the knife plunging into his heart, the blood spurting from the wound. Her knees gave out as she began to cry in panic and terror.

 

It a long moment before she realized she could hear a voice calling her name. A familiar voice.

 

“Inuyasha!” she screamed in desperation, struggling to her feet.

 

“Kagome?” the urgent cry echoed through the trees as she saw a flash of red moving swiftly towards her.

 

Inuyasha leapt out of the trees, landing lightly at the other end of the clearing. Time seemed to slow as she took him in. He looked just as he always did. No wounds, no blood, no grime. His eyes were alive and full of light, not dead and empty. There was no hatred and bitterness, no self-loathing, only worry and concern for her. Relief washed through her. Was it finally over? Had the nightmare finally ended?

 

“Kagome?” Inuyasha asked, his voice gruff with concern. “Kagome, what happened?”

 

“Inuyasha . . .”

 

With a cry of relief and pain and longing, she ran across the clearing, throwing herself against his chest. She reached up a shaking hand to touch his cheek, relieved to find his skin warm and solid under her fingers. It was over! It was truly over!

 

The emotions were too strong, too overwhelming. She broke down in tears.

 

“Kagome!” Inuyasha gasped, “Kagome, what's wrong?”

 

She wrapped her arms around his neck, sinking her fingers into his soft hair, pressing her face against his shoulder, determined to never let him go again. She sobbed even harder as his arms hesitantly came up to wrap around her.

 

“Kagome,” he whispered, “please tell me what's wrong.”

 

“It was horrible!” she sobbed as the memories of the darkness swirled in her mind. “An old priestess . . . a black crystal ball . . . pulled me into a nightmare . . .”

 

“A dark priestess?” Inuyasha snarled, furious that someone had hurt her.

 

“No . . .” Kagome whimpered, trying to stop crying, trying to explain. “But she created some strange illusion . . . an illusion about you.” She felt him stiffen. “It was about you . . . and your past . . . it was the most awful thing I've ever experienced . . . so much pain and suffering . . . the darkness.”

 

She tightened her arms around his neck, pressing against him, needing to feel his strength, his life.

 

“Kagome . . .” he whispered into her hair.

 

“People kept hurting you, and I couldn't stop them. I couldn't help you . . . I couldn't escape the visions. We were trapped. And the darkness and the pain kept getting worse.” She shivered, her heart squeezing painfully. “At the end, right before I woke up, you . . .” she took a breath, forcing herself to face the memory. “. . . You killed yourself. You wanted it to end, you wanted the pain to end.”

 

She was overcome with sobs again as Inuyasha's arms pulled her tighter against him.

 

“Kagome,” he whispered, “it was just a vision, just an illusion.”

 

She nodded into his shoulder, sniffling. “I know . . . but it seemed so real . . . it hurt so much. I tried to stop you, but I couldn't. You couldn't hear me, couldn't see me. I couldn't save you.”

 

Inuyasha's hands came up to grip her shoulders. He pulled her back so she could look up at him. His eyes were swirling gold, intense, serious.

 

“Kagome, I would never kill myself. I would never do that. You know me. You know that no matter how hard things got, no matter how bad, I would keep fighting until the end. I would never give up.”

 

Her disturbed eyes stared into his. “I know that. I know, but . . . but you were human when you did it.”

 

She saw his eyes widen, saw the flicker of uncertainty.

 

He shook his head. “It doesn't matter. I wouldn't do something like that. I wouldn't. It was just an illusion.” He turned his eyes back to hers. “Kagome, how did the priestess trap you in her visions? You should have known better than that.”

 

Kagome hung her head, not willing to meet his eyes. “She told me . . . she told me that I would never understand you, and that she could help me.”

 

“Understand me?”

 

Kagome nodded, sniffling, her heart aching. “She said that only with understanding came acceptance, and only with acceptance came . . .” she trailed off, blushing.

 

“Came what?” Inuyasha asked, confused.

 

“. . . Came . . . love.”

 

Inuyasha didn't move, didn't speak. Kagome, too afraid to look at him, continued in a rush. “You always refused to tell me anything about your past, and I wanted to know, because I thought if I knew I could understand you better. And I wanted to understand you . . .”

 

“Kagome,” Inuyasha's voice was soft, gentle. She looked up into his unreadable golden eyes. “Do you know why I've never told you about my past before? Not in the beginning, but why I haven't told you even now?”

 

She shook her head, confused.

 

She gasped as he pulled her against him, crushing her in a fierce embrace.

 

“Because,” he whispered, “because I didn't want to hurt you . . . and I knew that it would hurt you if you knew.”

 

She didn't know how long they stood like that, locked in each other's arms. Eventually, Kagome pushed herself back to look into Inuyasha's eyes, to see the love shining in them.

 

Love for her.

 

“Inuyasha?” she asked softly as he gently rubbed her arm, his presence, his touch, easing the pain that still swirling inside her. “What was the worst part? The worst part of growing up . . . like that . . . of growing up the way you did?”

 

She brought her hand up to hold his as his eyes became haunted, as pain flickered in their golden depths.

 

“Being alone.” He whispered. “I was always alone. That was the worst part.”

 

She gave him a watery smile, happiness swelling in her heart as she realized for the first time since she had walked into the shrine that she really truly could help him, could ease the pain in his heart.

 

“Then the worst is over,” she whispered.

 

Inuyasha frowned, confused. “What do you mean?” he asked.

 

She smiled again, raising her free hand to touch his cheek, tears shining in her eyes, love shining from deep within her soul. “I'll never let you be alone again. I promise.”

 

The End

 

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A/N:

 

:sniffle: Awww.

 

Angst isn't a genre that I normally write, but I did this as a gift to my editor, and her favourite genre is angst, so I gave it a try. Hope you liked it, Susie! But, no matter how much angst I put in a fic, I just can't do sad endings. I just can't. So, it has a happy ending. I hope everyone enjoyed it! And sorry if it made you cry. ;-)

 

Aside from being an angst fic, this story is all about symbolism and imagery. Each part of Kagome's visions has a deeper meaning, an underlying significance. Very little about her visions was random. I wanted to illustrate to Kagome and readers the pain that exists deep within Inuyasha, the pain that's always there, caused by the wounds of his heart and the scars on his soul. It's not about the surface pain he experiences in the face of trials and adversity. The "nightmares of the soul" is my way of delving into the emotional scars that never heal, not the actual events that created the scars. I wanted to show the world (figuratively speaking) that Inuyasha's pain runs deeper, that some wounds never heal. The nightmares Kagome experiences with Inuyasha aren't actually memories, but a manifestation of the darkness and pain within Inuyasha that will always be there. On the surface, the nightmares are just tests to help Kagome understand Inuyasha better, but it goes so much deeper. Though I'm in no way suggesting that Inuyasha has a soul of darkness, the pain of his past has left its mark on him, and there will always be that aspect of darkness to him, even though he has overcome it in life.

 

So if you were able to pick up on even half the symbolism in the story, you should be very proud, lol. If anyone has any questions that you would like answered, just leave your email address with your review (if you're not an FFnet member, or your email isn't accessible through the site) and I will respond ASAP.

 

And a great big thank you to everyone who reviewed! THANK YOU!

 

 

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters associated with the anime/manga.