InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Noble Burdens ❯ Recriminations and Regrets ( Chapter 4 )

“Slept in my make-up, didn't get my teeth brushed. Crash on the couch and now my mouth tastes like yesterday's news. Well hello, Jim Beam, all the places you've seen. If only you could talk you'd tell me why he walked out on me and you. Oh the things lover's do when its over. Oh the things lovers do when its done. Find a cool bottle or a warm shoulder, wake up older, and try to move on.”

 

Julie Roberts- Wake Up Older

 

Punch…Kick…Thrust…Release

 

Hiraikotsu flew through the field in a graceful arc and returned at just the right angle for Sango to expertly grasp the strap of the deadly weapon so it came to rest along her shoulder. Slick with exertion she rolled the boomerang into a defensive position and proceeded to work out her inner turmoil they way she always preferred, with controlled violence.

 

“Damn him, damn him to all the hells,” she muttered and swung her weapon in a killing arc.

 

Inside, underneath the anger and the violence Sango could feel herself dying. Tears blurred her vision, but she blinked them back and swung Hiraikotsu with greater venom.

 

It wasn't healthy to feel this…broken. She knew it, but she didn't know what she could do about it. Her unsteady soul did nothing to interrupt the flow of her powerful movements and she thrust again.

 

She growled and swung her body into a high kick, landed, pivoted, and brought the boomerang around in a defensive position.

 

She had never thought she could hate another human being the way she hated him right now. It wasn't fair. When he had left and shattered her heart she had slowly picked up the pieces and had attempted to do the impossible. She had been gluing it back together.

 

She had fought in the war with her other two friends and stumbled back to rebuild her village, and despite the turmoil going on right now she had managed to find a way to be just a little bit…if not happy then less…destroyed.

 

She had been, dare she say it, content…still hurt…but content. That contentment, however, had been washed away in the miniscule instant it had taken for her to blink her eyes and see him barreling toward her, calling her name.

 

All her hard work, all her composure, all the painful, aching progress she had made towards being a functioning human being, gone in the single blink of an eye.

 

The pain flared hot and bright and it almost brought her to her knees. How could a human being hurt like this and still be alive? It just didn't seem possible. Gritting her teeth, Sango rolled her body into a series of punches, accentuating each one with a blow from Hiraikotsu.

 

Why hadn't he stayed away! Her mind screamed and she punished her body. Gods, how she wanted so badly to just be numb, anything to cure the ache that was crushing her chest.

 

What she hated the most though was not the pain that had flared so brightly with his return, but the hope that he brought with him. She cursed and rolled again into a series of kicks.

 

Fighting with him by her side, even though her mind had been screaming, had returned to her like an old, familiar kimono that had never forgotten the shape of the curves it had been made to fit.

 

And when he had fallen it had been second nature for her heart to fill with worry and for her lips to fervently pray that he would be all right.

 

In that instant, it was like he had never been gone, and nothing had change. The problem was; everything had changed.

 

She hated him…and oh Kami save her, she still loved him.

 

Sango swore to herself that was something he would never be allowed to find out.

 

Thrust...Punch…Kick…Thrust.

 

She had tried to remain indifferent to him, had convinced herself during the hours he remained unconscious that she no longer felt anything for him at all.

 

Then the bastard had woken up.

 

Gods, but he hadn't changed a bit. He hadn't liked her indifference so he provoked her to anger and Kami above she had let him. She had no control over her emotions when it came to that man. She never had.

 

Kick…Kick…Twist…Release.

 

And because she was angry she'd baited him. She had known the moment she said it that her accusation about his womanizing had been hitting below the belt and the part of her that still loved him and knew him to be, very deep down, an honorable man, had known it wasn't true. The darker part of her though, the one that harbored all those insidious insecurities that she hid from the world had wanted to hurt him.

 

She swung around and caught her boomerang and swung into another kick.

 

She had hurt him, she had seen it there in his eyes, buried under the burning anger and then Kami he had punished her, punished her with a searing kiss.

 

And two years later her body still reacted to his touch the way it had to no other man she had ever known.

 

Her nipples had grown painfully hard, heat had pulled in her gut, and she had surrendered to his skilled mouth with hardly a whimper.

 

Kick…Release.

 

Kami, why hadn't he stayed away!

 

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 

Why hadn't he stayed away?

 

Miroku sighed and leaned on the fence that separated Kaede's village from the fields and forest beyond. Sango was in the field dressed, once again, in that tantalizing uniform that marked her as taijiya, and she was slowly going through a routine of Jujutsu movements to strengthen her body.

 

The mid-morning sun glinted off the auburn streaks in her ebony hair and a fine sheen of perspiration shown on her forehead. She was entirely focused on the fluid movements and had yet to acknowledge that he was watching her.

 

Miroku was not fool enough to believe she was unaware of his presence, but since she was ignoring him it gave him the opportunity to admire her graceful form.

 

Kami, she is beautiful, he thought. He had traveled the continent and beyond and never found her equal. Sango swept her legs into a controlled arch and landed without a faltered step.

 

He should have stayed away. It had been utter foolishness to come to Kaede's village, and it had been beyond stupid to have allowed his desires and emotions to control him.

 

The kiss had simply been suicidal.

 

The normally serene monk felt his turbulent emotions bubble and the inner darkness that he suppressed daily, screech at him.

 

He planned to leave today and this time he would not look back. He had never imagined that his leaving had caused her this much pain. In the weeks and months he had been gone he had been sure that she would get over him…that she would have moved on.

 

He was a fool.

 

She could barely even look at him when he had emerged for breakfast this morning and Miroku had known then and there that he had made a grave mistake. Torn, and knowing that nothing he did could fix what he had done, he simply watched her.

 

Knowing what he knew now, and having to make the same decision to leave her again he knew that he would do so in a heartbeat. After all a broken heart could heal, given enough time.

 

He flexed his cursed hand.

 

Death was much more permanent.

 

“Miroku it is good to see ye boy.”

 

Miroku jumped and turned away from the picture that was Sango towards the elderly miko addressing him.

 

“Lady Kaede, It does my heart glad to see you again.”

 

Kaede smiled and joined him at the fence.

 

“As is mine upon seeing you.”

 

“Where is Shippou? I know Kagome and InuYasha have gone to her time but usually the kit is underfoot whilst they are gone.”

 

Kaede smiled slightly. “He's not much of a kit any longer, my boy. He be twelve now and be spending a great deal of time in the western lands with young Rin.”

 

Miroku smirked. “Ahh love, how it doth make fools of us all.”

 

The priestess said nothing but responded with a slight smile. Silence descended for a moment and was broken when she tilted her head to the side and regarded the young man before her. She had a calculating expression on her weathered face.

 

“I am surprised to see ye. I had not expected ye quest to end quite so soon. Tell me, have ye finally found a way to close the wind tunnel for good?”

 

The young monk started at the knowing look in the miko's good eye and he groaned. He should have known, truly. Kaede had been around far too long and she had always seemed to just know things.

 

Miroku flexed his right hand unconsciously, making sure to hold the glamour that made it appear to be unbound by his prayer beads.

 

“How did you know?”

 

She shook her head. “Ye forget that I am a priestess and unlike young Kagome I am better at sensing flares of power in others, although she has gotten better of late.”

 

He turned away to watch Sango, again. “Then it is a good thing she is not here.”

 

Kaede shook her head. “Come monk, have ye not learned? This is not something ye should do alone. Besides the young taijiya deserves to know the truth about ye.”

 

Miroku frowned. “She would have come with me and I will not have that on my conscious Lady. If I had fulfilled my vow to become her husband I would have put her in danger. I had vowed long ago that the day my hand takes me it will take only me. I will not take a chance with her life, not when I have the power to protect her. Better she hate me and live, then love me…and die”

 

Kaede shook her head. “Sometimes monk, ye do not get to choose. Destiny has brought ye back together. She carries a coin, the twin of the one you brought with ye. She is summoned and ye will need her to face what is to come.”

 

Miroku scowled. “How do you know about my coin?”

 

“Lord Komoku came to me in a vision less than a fortnight ago. He wished me to tell ye that ye and thy taijiya are to journey to the lands of the south. There ye will face a great evil.”

 

He went very still and in a hoarse voice inquired thickly. “What else have you seen?”

 

Kaede shuddered.

 

“Darkness. Unending darkness and an evil that cannot be allowed to continue. There have been tales for years, horrible tales. Children have a very short life span in Toyotomi's domain and Sango, the darkness wants Sango, it is…lustful. I can tell thee nothing more.”

 

Miroku cursed low but Kaede did not reprimand him. He had the sudden, irresistible feeling of being trapped. How could the gods do this to him? He had only been in her presence one day and the pain he had caused her threatened to eat him alive. He needed to leave her and yet now he was being told that he needed to stay. He growled low in his throat.

 

“You're telling me that I can not walk away from her aren't you, Lady.”

 

It was not a question.

 

Kaede simply gave him a knowing look and left him to his troubled thoughts.

 

Miroku turned his attention back to Sango and noticed the slayer was now looking his way. In the stroke of an instant things had changed and he knew that he would have to negotiate a truce.

 

With a sigh he ducked under the fence and approached her.

 

“Sango, we need to talk.”

 

The taijiya contemplated him for a moment, thought briefly of simply ignoring him, but knew he wouldn't let her get away with that.

 

“Miroku, I really don't think we have anything to talk about. Besides Kaede said you were leaving before lunch.”

 

He ignored the implied, and I hope I never see you again, and roughly grabbed her arm to pull her towards a nearby grove of trees.

 

Sango stiffened, grasped his wrist, and twisted her body. He was thrown off balance and landed hard behind her.

 

“You do not have permission to touch me,” she hissed.

 

Miroku felt the darkness in him bubble but this time he forced it back down his gut. Much too calmly he regained his feet and brushed the dirt off his robes.

 

The silence stretched before them, uncomfortable and awkward.

 

Miroku shifted and Sango shifted.

 

Exasperated, he said. “This is foolish. I admit that you are within your rights to want to see the back of me as swiftly as possible but surely you must know that I…” he trailed off at her less than receptive expression.

 

Agitated now he fidgeted with his staff. “Look taijiya, we were friends at one time and despite everything I still consider you such. I have just spoken with Lady Kaede and she tells me that you and I have both received coins such as these. She told me that she has received a vision.”

 

He delved into his robes and came out with an iridescent coin that was the twin of the one she had received not four days ago. She frowned, crossed her arms, and said nothing. Inside, however, her heart had started a staccato beat that promised foreboding. Kaede's visions were nothing to trifle with.

 

For a moment he didn't think she was going to answer.

 

“One of Lord Toyotomi's vassals delivered it to the village…” She seemed to want to say more but she was eyeing him in a way that made his heart clench. She wasn't sure if she could trust him, he could see it in her eyes.

 

Truth be told, he wasn't truly sure she should trust him either.

 

“You're uneasy about the summons,” he guessed and she looked away. He could tell by the look on her face that she hated how easily he read her. Hated that even after all this time, he knew her.

 

“Yes.”

 

Frustrated he ran a hand through his hair and fiddled with his staff again.

 

“Sango I…” he trailed off and tired again. “Sango…I do not expect you to trust me, and as much as I would like to I can offer no explanation for what is past. I had not expected to see you again and had not the demon been about to…Well, I would not have made my presence…known.”

 

Sango's face seemed to tighten in anger as he spoke.

 

“So this is how it is to remain between us? You toss me aside and give no explanation? You come back only to leave? Why Miroku? Why would you do this to me? I thought…”

 

She trialed off, refusing to complete her thought. Miroku cursed his traitorous heart as he prompted her.

 

“You thought?”

 

Sango sighed and cursed herself a coward.

 

“Nothing houshi, it is no longer important.”

 

The monk made no reply. He cleared his throat.

 

“Sango, what I am about to ask I have no right to, but despite…everything…”

 

He paused and tried again. “I know that Kaede would not have received a vision if the danger were not real. Both of us are summoned and I fear that neither of us is going to be strong enough to face this task alone. I am going to need your help. I am asking you to search your honor and in memory of our friendship to travel with me until this task is complete.”

 

Sango's nails drove deeper into her palms and she clenched her teeth.

 

“You always did ask for the impossible, Miroku.”

 

She frowned, torn between her honor and her anger. Finally she looked at him and made a request that would torment him for all the time he remained on this earth and beyond.

 

“When we are finished with this task do you promise to leave?”

 

He swallowed past the lump in his suddenly dry throat.

 

“If that is what you wish, Lady Sango.”

 

“It's what I need houshi, and in honor of our past friendship I will go with you, but when it is done we will truly part ways…forever.”

 

Miroku nodded and inside his soul died. He flexed his kazaana unconsciously.

 

He knew then and there that this evil he was about to face would truly be his last. One way or another, his journey was done.

 

Leaving forever was not going to be a problem.