InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Not All Love Hurts ❯ CHAPTER 1 – some flashback hurts to remember ( Chapter 1 )

NOT ALL LOVE HURTS

CHAPTER 1 - some flashback hurts to remember

`It hurts!!!'

`I can't take it anymore, it hurts very much to know that the one you love is kissing someone you hated very much in front of your own eyes' Kagome's mind screams as she keeps on running through the forest with her bow and arrows. Tears stream down to her cheeks from her puffy eyes, a while ago when she was watching Inuyasha kissing Kikyou in front of the Goshinboku tree, she felt her heart fell. Inuyasha had told Kikyou that he didn't stop thinking of her every single day& that he always imagines her face even when she's not by his side. But now that she is beside him, he would not let her go and promised to protect her forever. `I thought he said that I'm the one whom he will protect forever. I guess his heart was lying that time, maybe he thought that I'm Kikyou.' She cried even harder. `Why can't he realize that she is only a walking corpse filled with dead souls, she will never the same Kikyou that he have known before. Why can't he love me instead he loves her! I know I'm not like her; she is far more better than me. She's good looking, a master in archery, but one thing that she is missing; I'm alive not like her. Why can't Inuyasha understand that?! I've always wished that he'd love me back like the way I love him, & live with him. I guess my dreams will never come true.' She closed her eyes, not looking where she was going. All she wanted was to get far away from the place where she saw them kissing, she wanted to die. She keeps on flashing the events that had happened last week. `I should have believed what he was saying that time, that once he sees Kikyou, his attention will be hers. But he promised…he promised not to hurt me anymore.'

~~~~~* FLASHBACK *~~~~~

" Inuyasha? What are you doing?" Kagome asked curiously while walking towards Inuyasha, he had been silent all afternoon; he didn't even talk while eating dinner. And the others were already sleeping at Kaede-baba's hut.

"Huh? Um… nothing." he answered silently; his eyes were looking at the blazing fire in front of him.

"Inuyasha… you can tell me what is bothering you, maybe I can help." She offered. She was beginning to worry; she had never seen Inuyasha like this - he look so troubled.

"No, nothing is bothering me Kagome, now go to sleep." He said calmly. As his eyes stared at the blazing fire. He wanted to be left alone, but somehow, he likes to be with Kagome for her presence makes him feel warm inside. He had been thinking all day. `How will I deal with this?! I love Kikyou but I also love Kagome, a little. I can't just leave her; she's the one who makes me feel whole again after what had happened 50 years ago. I also like to be with her, since I can't stand even one day without seeing her nor smell her, so, how can I live without her?' But a large part of him said that he loved Kikyou more & that he can't control himself even if he just said that he loved Kagome. Once he sees Kikyou, he will want to be with Kikyou once more & his attention will be with Kikyou & his love for Kagome will vanish. `Better to tell her now than never.'

"Are you sure? You look so troubled, maybe you should tell me, I promise I will not tell anyone." She asked. Inuyasha turn his face from the fire & looked directly into Kagome's eyes. He saw that she wasn't lying and she was serious.

"All right I will tell you, but before that can I asked a question? It's about a friend of mine." Inuyasha said, hoping she will fell into it.

"Sure! What's about your friend?" she asked happily & because of that Inuyasha agreed to tell her what's bothering him after the question.

He took a deep breath. "It's because he loves two women, the one is from the past but came back and the other is the one who he recently travel with and develop feelings with her, and he thinks that the recent girl also had feelings for him. But the mind of the guy was saying that he loves the past girl more and he can't control that even if he says that he loves the recent girl. And once he sees the past girl, he's attention will be with the past girl once more and his love for the recent girl will vanish. Should he tell the recent girl that he loves her before it's too late even if that will hurt her feelings?" he asked seriously.

"Ouch! That was a tough question, well then, ummm… let's see…" She's tapping her fingers in her head as she thinks. `It is almost similar to what's happening between me, Inuyasha and Kikyou. But one is different, Inuyasha doesn't love me, he only protects me because I can see the Shikon shards.' She shook her head from the thought and looked at Inuyasha whose attention was now all over the fire again.

"Well, I think that the guy should be honest to his feelings even if he will hurt the recent girl, but in that way, the recent girl should accept the truth, but still, the guy should still control himself not to hurt the recent girl again, because in my opinion, the girl will run far away and never wish to see the guy again," she answered intelligently.

`Well since that is her answer, maybe I should tell her, but then, I should be careful not to hurt Kagome again. Here goes nothing!' he took three deep breaths and stared at Kagome's eyes, careful not to miss one reaction from her.

"Um…Kagome…um…I…need to tell you about… um…" Inuyasha can't help himself; he didn't want to hurt her feelings like this. This is not supposed to happen.

"Yes Inuyasha, what are you going to tell me?" she asked nervously, the look Inuyasha gave her made her think that it is going to be a bad conversation.

"Well…you see…um… arrgggh!!!!" Inuyasha scratched his head painfully to recover from his speech.

"Hey calm down, it is still not the end of the world, right? Just take a deep breath and tell me. Relax…relax." She held out a hand and placed it on Inuyasha's shoulder, to calm him down. Then he took another deep breath and removed Kagome's hand off his shoulder and placed it on his chest.

"Kagome, I know you'll hate me for this, but the story that I had told you just before is about… um… us. You, Kikyou and me. You told me that I should be honest to my feelings and tell you the truth; part of my mind said that I love you but a larger part of it says that I love Kikyou more than you; and a part of it is saying that when I see Kikyou, my love for you will…will…vanish." He settled Kagome on his lap; while Kagome was shocked at the explanation. 'He loves me? And he loves Kikyou too?' Tears fell from her eyes. Inuyasha saw this and began to hug her, then he turned Kagome's face towards him, he wiped out the tears with his thumb. "Don't cry Kag. You know I hate to see a girl crying," He whisper silently to her right ear. `Please don't hate me Kagome, please… I never wanted to hurt your feelings; one day you will a guy who will be perfect for you and you will forgot what happened between us.' He mentally noted himself.

"Don't worry Kagome, I promise I will not hurt you anymore like this, I promise." He said silently and buried his face in her hair. "One day, you will find a guy better than me."

~~~~~* END OF FLASHBACK *~~~~~

"He broke his promise to me, I shouldn't have believed that he will not hurt me anymore. I should have known that for he already said that when he sees Kikyou again his attention will be all for her. Now I'm alone again!!" she cried. She sobbed harder and kneeled where she was standing. "I'm alone again!!! Why it has to be me?! Why?! I never want to see him again, I will only go to the village if I wanted to see Shippou, Miroku or Sango." She said quietly as she stood up. Her knees where shaking from crying. She found a large tree nearby and sat down, her knees in front of her chest, she drop her weapons carelessly. She rested her forehead on top of her knees, not knowing where she is, she just closed her eyes, which hurt a lot from crying. `I didn't love anyone like I love you, Inuyasha. But I can't do what I told you, I can't accept the truth.'

~~~~~* NEARBY *~~~~~

"Sesshoumaru-sama!! Sesshoumaru-sama!! Look!! Rin pick flowers for you!!" Rin squealed happily while approaching the Lord of the Western Lands, behind her was the poor Jaken muttering curses about how the child acts in front of Sesshoumaru.

She wrapped her arms around the leg of Sesshoumaru and gave him the flowers. Sesshoumaru took the flowers, he was about to pry out the child's arm when he suddenly smelled tears nearby, it was salty, he smelled it again. `The tears…it's scent…it is full of sorrow, but the scent of the tears… its awfully familiar. I wonder who it is, maybe I know her, it is a she, because the tears said that her heart is hurt badly by the one that she loved. I better check it out, it is disturbing my sensitive nose and the inheritance of my father to me, I also hate to see woman cries.'

"Rin, Jaken, I will leave for a moment, I will go and get some fresh air out there." He said calmly, "and Jaken…" Jaken approach his Lord quickly. "Yes Sesshoumaru-sama?" Jaken asked nervously. "Take care of Rin while I'm gone, I don't want her to get into troubles again. If you let her go away from your care, you know what is the punishment right?" He ordered silently while prying Rin's arms off his knees.

"Yes Sesshoumaru-sama, I will take care of Rin while you are gone." Jaken bowed respectfully, he knows what is the punishment, Sesshoumaru will subtract Jaken's 100 years from his age in the future.

Sesshoumaru kneeled down to level Rin's face. "Rin, stay here with Jaken, I promise I will come back before sunset. Be a good girl, avoid troubles understand?" Sesshoumaru whisper while caressing her cheeks.

"Hai! Sesshoumaru-sama, when will you bring me a human to be my playmate?" she asked happily hoping it will be soon, because she's a human, she wanted to talk and play with humans like herself.

"Rin, you know I hate humans, you are the only human that I like okay? Maybe one day, but I think not so soon enough, I will find a human playmate for you that is kind and loving, understand? That is hard to find, especially if you don't want it." He answered coolly.

"Hai! I understand, thank you Sesshoumaru-sama, be right back okay? I love you! You are like a father to me, don't ever leave me okay?" Rin gave Sesshoumaru a hug, Sesshoumaru was shocked inside but his expression was still calm, `No one ever loved me, and still, I'm a youkai and she thinks I'm like a father to her, well she's like a daughter to me anyways. I like to be with her, she calms me down.' He wrap his arms around the girl and whisper to her ear, "Rin I also love you, you are like a daughter to me, that is why I don't want you to get hurt." He said calmly while patting the girl's head.

"Really!!! I'm like a daughter to you?! But our family will not be complete if I don't have a mommy." Her face sadden a little. "I always wanted to have a new family after the death of my parents, but at least I have a daddy at my side." She said with a bright smile.

Jaken was there watching with a shock expression `When did Sesshoumaru-sama been this gentle to human mortals? I never thought that he will make Rin his foster daughter, but the wife, I wonder what it will be… a human mortal or a youkai like him. If he had a youkai for a wife, then Rin will be in much pain because youkai hated humans. But if had a human for a wife, Rin will be happy because her mommy will be like her. A human…but humans are afraid of youkais, what will Sesshoumaru do? It is hard to find a human who loves both youkai and human?'

"Now Rin, go to Jaken's side, I will be right back okay?" Sesshoumaru said with a smile in the corner of his lips.

"Okay, take care Sesshoumaru-sama, bye" she wave her hand while seeing Sesshoumaru disappear in the woods.

~~~~~* SESSHOUMARU'S PLACE *~~~~~

`I'm near, I can smell the tears nearby, I wonder who hurt her feelings?' Sesshoumaru thought as he walk towards the scent. `This scent is really familiar to me, but who? The scent is sweet.' Sesshoumaru sniffed again `She smelled so sweet, cherry blossom and a faint scent of my lowly half brother…wait! Why does she smell like my half brother but the scent is beginning to fade away. Better check it out.'

As he walked nearer, he saw that the woman who was crying a while ago was his brother's wench. `What luck! I follow the scent and this is what I get? But why is she crying? Did that lowly hanyou hurt his wench again…?' he asked himself `Shit! What am I doing! I sounded like I was worried about this human!' he mentally screamed. `I don't care what my brother did to her, maybe I can make her as a bait for exchange of Tetsusaiga.' He smirked at his clever thought. But then, he was still curious why his brother hurt this woman; he wanted to know so badly that he unconsciously walked towards the girl.

`I can feel an evil aura coming towards me, but I really don't care anyways. I wanted to die so my heart will not suffer like this.' She hoped that whoever was the creature walking towards her will kill her anytime soon. `But what about the others. Mother, grandpa, Souta, Shippou, Sango, Miroku and Kaede and everybody else? They expect me to help them find the rest of the remaining Shikon shards, and it is my fault that the jewel is now scattered around the world.' She noted herself `If I don't complete the jewel the whole world will be on danger, and it is going to be my fault, but it's too late, the youkai is near me, I will die in no time.'

"What is my half brother's wench doing in my territory right now, I though you are always with that half-breed?" he asked mockingly, `How dare this woman enter my territory without my permission?' he thought angrily, `No one can escape from my territory after they enter without getting killed by my claws.' He thought menacingly.

"Nani?" `That voice…Oh no! Oh no no no no! Not Sesshoumaru! Please of all youkais! Why him!' her head screamed. She was about to lift her head up when a claw ran to her throat and pinned her into the tree where she had rested a while ago. `Shit! Why did I drop my weapons where I can't even reach out my hand. I can't breath, I'm going to die!' she cough violently trying to get some oxygen to her lungs, but the claws prevent her to get some air.

"No one get away from me for entering my place without asking my permission, you bitch!" Sesshoumaru snarled.

"I…I…ugh!…I…can't…breath…wi ll…you…please…let…me…explain…first?" she manage to cough out, Sesshoumaru slowly softened his gasp every second and finally release her. `It seems that my hatred to humans become smaller because of Rin.' He though coolly. She cough harshly and finally sigh. Sesshoumaru raise his delicate eyebrow saying that he was getting annoyed for letting him wait for a lowly human. Kagome saw this and knew that it will not last long before he kill her.

"Give me a reasonable reason that I shouldn't kill you, you wandered in my forest without any permission from me." He said calmly, he hated anyone who dares not respect him.

"I'm sorry oh Great Lord of the Western Lands but l don't know why am I in here, I just ran to the woods and this where I got." She said sarcastically followed by a bow, Sesshoumaru is beginning to get angry with this human, `How dare she insult me, this is a challenging act wench, no one has been brave enough to challenge me like this.' He though unbelievingly `A lowly human like her dares challenge me, a great youkai, not so challenging. But she is brave for a human.' Kagome hadn't had a chance to blink again when Sesshoumaru pinned her again to the tree, but now it is different, their bodies are just being separated by at least 5 centimeters away from each other. Kagome swallowed the lump on her throat, `what is he doing pinning me on this tree again?' she looked at his eyes blushing furiously `And his body is so close to my own! Why can't I take my eyes away from his gold ones, it only reminds me of Inuyasha! Inuyasha…' her face sadden, she broke her gaze at Sesshoumaru's eyes and just stared at the ground not looking back at the taiyoukai's golden orbs, she's afraid that when she saw the color again, it will remind her how Inuyasha's eyes looks when he kissed Kikyou and she's might cry in front of Sesshoumaru. Sesshoumaru saw this and start to get more curious, `Why did she broke her gaze from me? Her face looks like she had just been dump by someone.' He lift her chin to see her beautiful, soft eyes, but all he saw is depression and sorrow, she still didn't look directly into his eyes. He examine her face more closely, separating almost 3 inch of their nose, that way she can see his eyes again. But when Kagome look directly into his eyes, she began to cry softly. `Shit! What did I do now! What have I done! I hate it when woman cries and hate it more when I'm the one who make her cry!' he curse his mind angrily. He was about to move when Rin and Jaken came out from the place where he has just leave them an hour ago panting roughly.

"Jaken! I told you to take care of Rin! What are you doing here right now?" he asked roughly, Jaken heard the roughness of the voice and tried to straighten his body but it still tremble lightly. "I'm sorry Sesshoumaru-sama but a large youkai is after us, I can't handle him because of his size, he is huge and a powerful youkai!" he replied quickly, but before he can walk to Sesshoumaru, Rin was captured by the youkai in it's claws, his hand is almost the same size of Rin's body!

"AAAAAHHHHH!!!!! Sesshoumaru-sama help meeeeee!!!!!" Rin screamed at the top of her lungs.

"Rin!!" Sesshoumaru and Kagome both shouted at the same time, hurrying to rescue Rin. Sesshoumaru readied out his sword to slash it to the youkai's arm, but the youkai just simply smacked the blade out from Sesshoumaru's hold and it fell directly towards Kagome. Kagome dodge the impact but went flying over Jaken's head, poor Jaken. His head become flat as a paper but recover within a few seconds murmuring curses about the lowly human woman.

"Sorry Jaken, I didn't mean to land in your head. Gomen ne." Kagome apologize respectfully, she knew that Jaken is much older than her even if he is much smaller than herself.

"Sesshoumaru! Get ready to catch Rin!" She didn't even wait for his reply because she new Sesshoumaru heard her even when she was meters away from him with his good hearing. But what she didn't know was when she fell down into Jaken's head was Sesshoumaru went flying through the forest from the youkai's punch, can't believe the great youkai Sesshoumaru will be thrown out of his own forest. She concentrated in aiming the arrow in the youkai's arm, but when she was about to fire, she felt a Shikon no Kakera in the youkai's forehead, she switch her direction of aiming from the arm towards the forehead, then finally release the arrow with purifying powers with it. It hit the youkai straight where the shards are located, within a second, the youkai suddenly disappear into ashes leaving Rin falling towards land.

"AAAAAIIIIIEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!"Rin screamed as she saw the ground, no one was going to catch her.

"Rin!!!" She didn't know where Sesshoumaru is, but one thing she knows. She has to save Rin before she breaks her bones from the fall. She hurriedly ran in the field and stop where she knew Rin will fall, she can see her body falling fast, `I hope I don't break my own bones from Rin's weight.'

And there it goes……

THUD!!!