InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Nothing Left to Lose ❯ In Control ( Chapter 5 )
[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]
A/N: Oh, pretty please, I need someone to give me some encouragement here! I've had about 400 visitors and two reviews! A big thank you for my two brave reviewers *hugs*. This is so new, I need to know how I'm doing, or I will continue to inflict my own twisted version of things on you! :-p If that's not a threat I don't know what is. Oh yeah, still broke, still own nothing. Not even Sess . . . sob.
“Kagome-chan.”
`Oh, Kami, no.'
“Kagome-chan!”
`Why? Why? Oh heavens why?'
“Kagome-chan! The sun is up! Now!”
`Life is so cruel.'
Kagome was just not used to getting up with the sun. Sure, she'd been doing it for a month straight now, but it seemed just that much more cruel for having it done to her each and every day. `I'm bigger than she is, this is ridiculous!' The blankets were up over her head and she was determined that they were not going anywhere.
“Kagome-chan is so silly. Rin is up, now you get up!” Rin had the blankets and was pulling furiously. `Oh, Kagome-chan is so stubborn! Rin must try something new. Ah!'
Rin dived under the blankets and squirmed up next to Kagome. “Kagome-chan, Rin can see you!”
Squeals of delight erupted as Kagome tackled the little girl and began to tickle her. “Ah, now I will show you why you do not taunt the great miko! Bwahaha!”
“Save Rin!” Rin was giggling and trying to get away, getting both of them tangled in the blankets. “Kagome-chan is very silly!”
“Hai, Rin. Maybe you will think twice before disturbing a sleeping miko now.”
The two collapsed onto the bed, out of breath. As much as she hated the early mornings she had
to admit that she loved having Rin with her. The little one was so kind and open-hearted, willing to love everyone on sight. Even that arrogant youkai.
A little sigh escaped from Kagome as she ruffled Rin's hair. That arrogant youkai had been mostly missing in the past weeks. It was as though he was avoiding her. She was truly confused now. The youkai was at breakfast and dinner, she would see glimpses of him, then he would disappear. Sure, he did not miss an opportunity to put her out of sorts or happen to be watching when anything embarrassing happened, but there had been nothing in the way of a conversation.
He certainly had not touched her.
“Kagome-chan, we will be late!”
Kagome sighed and swung her feet to the side of the bed. The youkai was being an enigma. Even more so than usual.
“Good morning, Kagome-sama.” Kumo paced into the room, seeing the now familiar sight of Rin and Kagome still in bed. Clothing was selected for Kagome and laid out, then Kumo went to fetch clothing for Rin. Somehow she had ended up with two ladies in her care, but she did not mind. After her lord's long absences it was a relief to have someone to care for. Kagome stood and stretched, eyeing Kumo's choices. No long draping sleeves, that rule was already cut in stone. As unfashionable as it may be she perfered her clothing to have a wrist or to be fitted like Sango's traveling kimono.
Kumo returned with clothing for Rin tucked under her arm, eyeballing her two charges that were still sitting on the edge of the bed. Kagome was stretching and yawning, still not fully awake.
“Ladies, it is time to get up.”
“See, Kagome-chan? Kumo says the same thing!”
“Very well, since I'm outnumbered.” Kagome stood and started to change. Kumo still had to help her dress. The layers of clothing were still more than she could deal with, she could never make everything lay the way it was supposed to! She peacefully sat to have her hair done with Rin seated in front of her. Rin refused to have anyone but Kagome touch her hair. Kagome felt a moment of peace and companionship as the three ladies worked quietly. Even Rin was busy, working on getting her socks on still and mumbling under her breath.
The peace was broken when Rin and Kagome realized that they were running late. Again. The elegantly dressed ladies bolted down the hallway, lifting beautiful robes up so that they could race through the palace. Kagome slid to a halt in front of the door, with Rin sliding into her and knocking her through the door. Of course. She was again in a humiliating position with that damn youkai looking at her.
Sesshomaru did not comment. He was getting used to his Rin and her companion coming in just late enough to irk him. The other changes in his Rin were much more acceptable then this one. He did enjoy seeing Rin dressed nicely with her hair neatly brushed. During the day she was watched over by Kagome, leaving Sesshomaru free to deal with his own duties without her prattling about. Jaken was now available to work on other duties instead of watching over the little girl. The situation would have been ideal, if not for the damn miko herself.
The two ningen had seated themselves and were working through their morning meal. Rin was chattering about plans for the day. Since the weather was nice she wanted to collect some new flowers to dry. The miko was quiet, nodding and giving the girl small encouragements, but overall focusing on her food.
`Very strange, I know that the miko is quite talkative and demonstrative with Rin usually, why is she so distant during a meal? She could not be nervous about my presence still, could she?' Sesshomaru had taken great pains to avoid the miko as much as possible, refusing to tempt the fates further. His rebellious body was not leaving him in peace. It had become a form of training, a way to practice self control to spend time with the miko each day. He had counted it as a victory the first night he was able to sleep in his own room. It was of minor consequence that he had been plagued by dreams with her, at least he had been able to sleep. He was not used to denying himself anything, and this was a new and unpleasant sensation.
The great lord peered over his tea at the young ningen seated at the table. There was none of the defiance and courage in her quiet pose, none of the growling in her voice. She looked the part of a polite, well-mannered female. Nothing to stir up his urges. And yet the smell . . . he could just barely smell her defiance as she sat through the meal. He could not prevent one corner of his mouth from quirking up as he watched the miko play the role of an obedient female.
`Now what? Now what is he laughing at me for? Did I spill something on myself again?' Kagome examined her clothing carefully. `No, so what the hell?'
`I think I prefer to see her in the heat of battle, not playing this role,' Sesshomaru sighed. `Now she looks like any other pretty little bauble without a thought in her head. She would not be able to keep this charade up for long. She would either break free, or she would change to fit the role. I wonder which it will be?'
After the two females had left he continued to sit with his tea, pondering what to do with this new twist. While he had not changed his mind in regards to his feelings of the miko, he still did not want to have her fade away to a decorative fool. There were far too many of them in the world already, and that was an influence that he did not want on Rin. His Rin would be able to care for herself. How old was she now? It was so hard to tell with humans. She had grown recently, it had been difficult to keep clothing that fit her around. Her head almost came to Kagome's shoulder now. Perhaps she was old enough to learn some new skills. The miko and his Rin could stand to learn some basic defenses. It should not be too difficult to find an instructor for them. It would help keep both Rin and the miko from becoming flighty, timid creatures.
His mind made up Sesshomaru marched into the courtyard, catching a glimpse of Kagome and Rin heading out to the gardens. Rin was off to collect her flowers, no doubt. Sesshomaru had things to attend to, but first he wanted to arrange for an instructor. One that would not frighten the ningen more then necessary, but that was experienced enough to prepare them for the deadly world outside of the palace's walls.
`Takanou. He is an able fighter as well as a healer. Both of the ningen knew him and would not be concerned by him.' Sesshomaru grimaced as the image of Takanou and Kagome in the garden together. `The fool will know to keep his hands to himself. The healer is not a great warrior, he would not challenge this Sesshomaru. Perhaps a small reminder, just in case the healer is forgetful.'
*~*~*~*
Rin had burned enough energy to allow them to return to the palace. The afternoon could be spent pursuing quieter projects than trying to get Rin back out of that tree. How she had gotten herself up so high was still beyond Kagome's understanding. Kumo would be very displeased with the rip in her clothing, but there was nothing she could do about it now. Rin had her armful of flowers to dry and arrange, Kagome was sure that at least some would be in young girl's hair come dinner. Rin disappeared into her own room, giving Kagome some time alone. Kumo did make a very quiet disapproving sound when she saw the rip, but made no comment when Kagome pulled on a simple robe. After Kumo had left the room was quiet, allowing Kagome to pull out one of her school notebooks and begin to write. Separated from her diary she had taken to using one of her old notebooks to write down her thoughts. She certainly would not need the notebook for school notes anymore.
Tears were threatening again. Thoughts were turning towards home, a home she would never see again. How was her family? Mama, Gramps, Souta? Her school friends, even HoJo, she would never see any of them again. There was not even an explanation for them, she had simply disappeared. How long until her family would begin to worry? Would her mother pace about, wondering about her daughter? How long until they stopped waiting? The threatened tears were starting to escape and run down her cheeks. How had she ended up here, like this? She had a servant, and a child to watch over! She wore clothing that she could not get in and out of and watched Sesshomaru, looking for some clue as to his feelings. Since when did she even think that the youkai even had feelings, much less wonder about them?
She wrote furiously in her notebook, trying to organize her thoughts. Her old life had disappeared all in one day. Her goals of destroying Naraku and purifying the Shikon jewel had been completed. Her family was cut off from her. Inuyasha . . .
`Damn, still can't write that thought. I still cannot write that he chose Kikyou over me. Maybe if I don't write it that night never happened.' Kagome snorted at the foolish thought. `I'm doing it again, dwelling on things that I can't change. I should be dwelling on what I can change. For instance, my life here.'
She was still trying to sort her own feelings on her life out. It wasn't bad, really. Good food, soft bed, warm clothes, an adorable little friend. But still, she was playing a role and she wasn't sure why or even how it had happened. Part of it was Kumo, her well intentioned servant who would slowly reshape her into a lady if at all possible. When dressed in clothes that made it hard to move she just could not be herself! This whole place made her feel like she had to act differently, the grand rooms and bowing servants making her quiet and uncertain. She had not raised her voice at all since that terrible day with Sesshomaru.
`And he's still avoiding me. What had he been thinking? He was so violent, but then he carried me back to my rooms. I still cannot believe that he actually did that, for a human no less! This is driving me insane!'
Kagome was writing so furiously that she was starting to get a cramp. Shaking her hand out she rearranged herself on the bed. She was now on her back, propped up amongst the pillows, concentrating on her entry so far. Her simple robe was open to the knee, giving a glimpse of leg that was quite distracting for the youkai that had come to call.
“Ahem, Kagome-sama.”
Kagome jumped straight up, nearly tipping off of the bed. Takanou was standing sheepishly inside of the door. “Takanou! I didn't hear you.” She had not seen the attractive healer since the day Sesshomaru and found them in the garden. That meeting had not ended well, with Takanou being threatened and tossed aside.
A warm chuckle came from the youkai. “I had guessed as much from your rather dramatic leap. Sesshomaru-sama has been to see me.”
“Really? About what? I'm just fine, I haven't got anything but a little cut on my finger from rescuing Rin, again.” `I certainly hope that Sesshomaru has not thrown him about by the throat anymore.'
“It was a most unexpected request. It seems that I am to give lessons in self defense to both you and Rin-sama. I do not know why I have been selected for this position, but it is one that I believe could be quite enjoyable. It will be nice to concentrate on physical activity instead of mental labors.” Takanou was wearing his most friendly smile.
A bright smile flooded Kagome's face. “Truly? Takanou, that sounds like a wonderful idea! I really could use the work, and Rin would love to be outside. Anything that burns up energy with that one is a blessing. I didn't think a healer would be a fighter as well.”
“My family is full of brave warriors, so I learned to fight as a young foal. When I decided to become a healer my family was rather disappointed, but they accepted the inevitable. I was usually too busy patching up my family to actually go to battle myself.” Takanou glanced at Kagome and blushed. “Unless you would prefer a more accomplished warrior as your instructor.”
“No, no, Takanou, I love the idea of learning from you. I don't see a lot of friendly faces here, I can only imagine what some of the `experts' here would do to a pair of `ningen females'.” Kagome's face was bitter, her voice becoming ugly as she thought about the whispered comments she had heard.
`She looks very lonely,' whispered through the healer's mind. `I wish I could comfort her, but Sesshomaru-sama has made my boundaries very clear. I am to stay strictly as an instructor or fear facing his wrath. There is no way I will forget his behavior in the gardens when she first arrived. That outfit is becoming very distracting, does she not realize that I can see her legs?'
“Takanou-sama! Rin has missed you!” Rin gave the healer a quick bow as she ran to Kagome's bed. “Kagome-chan, what are you doing?”
“Kagome-sama, I will take my leave. Shall I see you and the little one tomorrow when the sun is just above the tallest trees?”
Groaning at the thought of a lesson so early Kagome agreed. She would be up anyways, Rin ensured that.
“Until tomorrow, Kagome-sama.” Takanou bowed himself out.
“Kagome-chan, why are we going out to meet Takanou-sama so early tomorrow? What will we be doing?” Rin was beside herself with curiosity.
“Well, jo-chan, it seems that we will be taking lessons with Takanou-sama on how to fight. Sesshomaru-sama has decided that we need to be able to defend ourselves.” Kagome glanced at her notebook. It looked like her peaceful reprieve was over. She would need to finish this when Rin went out with Sesshomaru for their walk that night. Rin for her part was fascinated by the little marks in her notebook.
“What are those? What are those squiggly little things you are drawing?”
“Those are words, Rin. I'm writing about things that happened today.”
“Oh. Can Rin make words too?”
“Would you like me to teach you how to write, Rin?”
Rin nodded, her mouth in a silent little `o'.
“Here, I'll teach you how to write your name first.”
Sesshomaru stood outside the door, unnoticed by the two busy creatures inside. He could hear Kagome walking Rin through the first lessons on how to write. No doubt Rin would also be learning how to read in the near future. Yes, bringing the miko had been a good decision. Despite the problems her presence had caused Rin was being kept busy. The whispers were that he was keeping two pets now, but the whispers were much quieter after he had thrown that impudent whelp through a window. Nobody questioned him in his own home.
There was a strange feeling of peace from watching the duo working together. `Was this what it is like to have a family about?'
An undignified snort escaped him at the thought. `My family will not be like this. It will be a great youkai training my son, not a pair of ningen fawning over pieces of paper.'
“Sesshomaru-sama!” Rin had heard the sound from her lord and was delighted to see him. “Rin is learning to make words!”
Sesshomaru stared blankly at the little girl. Kagome looked uncomfortable. “Sesshomaru-sama . . .”
Gold eyes flicked to Kagome's. “Miko.”
Kagome's temper spiked, but she fought it down. `I am not going to get into another brawl with him in front of Rin. Deep breath.' “Takanou came to tell us about our new lessons. I think it's a wonderful idea.”
Blank stare. Kagome fidgeted. “Um, that is, Rin will love to be outside and running about, and . . .” Kagome trailed off, feeling very foolish. “Rin, could you run to your room for a second? Maybe you can pick some flowers for me to wear tonight.”
“Hai, Kagome-chan!” Far too distracted by her new mission to notice Kagome's expression she skittered out of the room, dropping a quick bow to Sesshomaru as she ran past him.
Now Kagome glared at the youkai. “If you have something to say, my lord, please just say it.”
“What would this Sesshomaru have to say?”
“You have been standing in my doorway, is there a reason for your visit or are you just here to stare at us?” `One of these days, Kagome, you are going to learn to think before you open your mouth.'
“This is my home, this Sesshomaru can do as he pleases.”
Kagome gulped. `Definitely a threat there.' “Well, Rin may not mind you watching her all of the time but I'm not comfortable with it. I need to have some privacy!”
“Why do you believe that this Sesshomaru is watching you? Do you think that you are so important that you will be watched?”
`Damn that blush to hell!' Heat flared in her face as Kagome stared at the youkai. `I don't even really have a comeback that doesn't make me sound like a stuck up princess.'
“You need not concern yourself about this Sesshomaru watching you. You have no interest to me. This Sesshomaru was looking at Rin.” Despite his words Sesshomaru was most definitely watching the miko. Her robe was open past her knees and had slipped off of one shoulder. She seemed oblivious, but she presented a very tempting picture, especially being this frustrated. Perhaps a little shove. “As to the lessons, this Sesshomaru cannot waste his time watching over a miko that is always finding danger. Since you cannot control your own powers you must learn other ways to fend for yourself.”
“I am not out of control of my powers!” Kagome was up in an instant, furious that he would bring that up again. Taking a deep breath, Kagome forced herself to calm down. She already knew that this youkai could only be pushed so far.
“Truly. You truly believe that.”
“Hai!” Kagome managed to bite back the rest of her response, `I'd be more than willing to show you what I can do, arrogant bastard.'
Sesshomaru was gone again, leaving just before Rin ran in with her hands full of flower. “Rin could not decide, so she brought all of them!”
Kagome shook her head and forced a smile. Now she would simply bide her time. Sesshomaru would see that she was in control, and that she was no weakling that needed protection. The image of a sacred arrow sealing that arrogant face to a tree came to mind, giving Kagome a reason for a true smile. “Here, Rin, I'll help you decide. If we put them all in my hair at the same time I'll fall over!”
That damn youkai will never know what hit him.