InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Nothing Left to Lose ❯ No Regrets ( Chapter 26 )

Kagome's hair trailed down the wall, freed from Kumo's attempts at control. Lying on her back, the young miko watched the clouds float by, mind trailing back over her day. The guards had gotten used to her new perch over the last couple of weeks and only made a token protest when she scaled up the wall that surrounded the palace. From this spot she could look out over the Western Lands, wild and free.

 

`Sango, I should have listened to you. I should have run while I had the chance.'

 

Her morning replayed in her head, despite her best attempts to ignore her memories.

 

The guards had been getting on her nerves again. Sure, there were only two of them, but there had not been any kind of a threat in over a month! Most of the traitors had died on that night two months ago, leaving only a scattered group with no leader. The threat was gone, since it was much too late to find Sesshomaru a new mate.

 

Rebellion had sparked a plan to give the guards the slip. While the duo watched the door to her room, Kagome climbed out the window and skipped to her study. It was similar to Sesshomaru's, but not as neat. It had come as a bit of a shock to Kagome to realize that her job did not begin and end at being pretty and having pups.

 

It seemed that the youkai Ladies are just as busy as their mates. Behind the Lords' obvious control was a second court, one controlled by the Ladies. Kagome was in constant correspondence with the other courts, working on her own agendas and alliances. Slowly but surely, a second court was forming in the Western Lands, centered on the Lady. Just today the message had finally arrived from the Lord of the East, congratulating Sesshomaru on his new mate. With the acceptance of the final Lord Kagome's position was finalized. She was the Lady of the Western Lands, and she had the Lady of the East to thank for her mate's sensible behavior. Sure, this meant that she owed Lady Akira a favor now, but it had been necessary.

 

While writing a letter to thank Lady Akira she had felt her mate's temper flare, and he was coming her way. `100 yen says he just figured out where my guards were and that I was not there.' Kagome set her quill down and signaled to Kumo. The servant recognized her lady's signal for Sesshomaru and bolted from the room. That signal meant that the youkai lord was coming, and that he was upset about something. Kumo was grateful when she made it out of the room before the lord could come in and start a fight with his mate.

 

“Why are you here.”

 

Kagome matched his icy glare with one of her own. “I'm working. Why are you here?”

 

“Your guards have been waiting for you outside of your room.”

 

“And? I am not in danger anymore, I've been accepted by all of the lords and no one has even attempted to harm me in a month. I think that its time to let my guards do something more useful.”

 

“You will allow the guards to follow you. If you do this again they will not leave your side no matter where you go.”

 

“I most definitely will not have them following me everywhere! I can take care of myself.”

 

A low growl was rumbling through the inu-youkai's chest. “You think so, miko?”

 

`That's not a good sign.' Kagome stood from behind her desk. “I do. I'm done having people follow me around all of the time. If your guards try to follow me again I'll put up a barrier and keep them wherever I choose.”

 

Quicker than thought Sesshomaru snatched Kagome up by her haori, glaring at her. “You cannot protect yourself.”

 

“Baka.” Kagome grabbed his wrists and blasted him. Sesshomaru was thrown back several feet, dropping the miko in the process. Kagome climbed back to her feet and bolted for the door. A barrier across the door kept Sesshomaru from following, turning his anger to rage.

 

“Miko!”

 

`And now I'm here, enjoying a few minutes of peace before he escapes.' Kagome's body shook. `That would be him attacking the barrier again. I'm relieved he didn't have Tokijin with him, he would be out already.'

 

The miko watched the wind blow through the trees, wishing that she could just drop down on the other side of the wall and run off into the horizon. She knew that leaving was impossible. Sesshomaru had left one time without her, and it had driven them both to the edge of insanity. The longing had turned to pain, the kind of pain that drives out reasonable thought. When he had returned the relief had sent both of them to their knees, holding each other. For two days they had not emerged from his room, staying as close to each other as possible.

 

Those two days had been some of the best of her life. For two days they had done nothing but stay together. The had talked well into the night, mumbling to each other in the dark while the palace slept. She had truly thought that he loved her. But he had returned to his old self as soon as they had left the room. The change had hurt like a dagger through her heart, and she could not get away. She would see flashes, moments that brought her hope that there was more to this than an arranged partnership.

 

She sighed. It always ended up like this, though. One of them would set the other off, and it would spiral out of control. She was frustrated and angry with him most of the time, wanting his love in return for her own. `I should have never made this deal. Now I'm stuck here, in another impossible position like I was with Inuyasha. What, exactly, did I do to piss the fates off this much?'

 

Another pang ran through her body. She looked about for the palace guards. “You may want to clear the area.”

 

“My lady?” Two of the guards looked up at her, confusion plain on their faces.

 

“My mate is coming, and he is not happy.”

 

The first guard turned to the second. “Clear the area immediately.”

 

Kagome fought down a giggle. `I better drop that barrier if I want to have any energy to deal with him when he gets here. I wonder how long it will take for him to find me?' She dropped the barrier in the palace. `One chimpanzee, two chimpanzee . . .'

 

The miko had nine fingers up when Sesshomaru appeared at the wall, glaring up at her. `Nine seconds. He's really pissed this time.'

 

“Miko.” Frustration and anger were spinning his thoughts out of control. `She has no sense. Lying on the palace walls? No guards? I cannot lose her; I will protect her whether she wants it or not!'

 

Cold blue eyes glared down at him. Kagome sat up and turned so that she was facing him, her legs hanging over the side of the wall. “Youkai.”

 

`Why the hell do I love him? Why!? He's arrogant, dominating, vicious . . .'

 

`He cares about you, and you know it. Quit asking why and just accept it, girl!'

 

`But it doesn't make sense! Everytime I look in those eyes I'm lost. I keep thinking that he feels something for me, too, but here he is, ready to kill me for such a little thing. Sure, he takes care of me, protects me. He has even called himself my friend, but that's not fair! I love him, and he doesn't feel the same thing. Why should I have to feel like this, while he is free to hurt me whenever he pleases? Focus on the vicious demon, Kagome!'

 

“You will allow the guards.” Sesshomaru was cracking his claws, eyes tinged with red.

 

“Are you looking for a fight, mate?” Sickeningly sweet, Kagome's voice held as much threat as his cold one.

 

“Are you threatening me, mate?”

 

Kagome climbed back down from the top of the wall. “If you are going to try to force me, yes.”

 

“You will reconsider.” Sesshomaru lunged forward. Kagome barely got a barrier up in time, blocking him from attacking.

 

The inu-youkai attacked her barrier, knowing that she would weaken. A pulse of energy burned his hands when he hit the barrier, but not enough to deter him. Kagome was backing away, her mind whirling.

 

`Okay, he's really after me this time. I'm so screwed. Think! Of course I took my hair down, no combs this time, and no dagger either. I am really stuck this time. I'm going to have to do this the hard way.'

 

The miko waited until he was taking another swing at her barrier, then dropped it. Sesshomaru's arm passed through the empty air, throwing him off balance. Kagome leapt forward, both hands connecting with his arm and knocking him back a good ten feet. He landed on his side, but was up before she could get anywhere near him.

 

“If you have any sense, you will yield now.”

 

“You first, bastard.” Kagome circled her opponent, looking for an opening. She needed to get him down, and she wasn't sure how long she was going to last. Her endurance was getting better, but she would tire quickly with an opponent like him.

 

The lord launched himself at her again, claws reaching out for her. They both landed glancing blows, sending both to their knees. Kagome's arm was open and bleeding, while Sesshomaru was tossed into the wall. The miko moved first, picking up a stone and charging it. When the youkai lunged at her she threw it, blasting him into the wall again. A second stone in the yokai's chest sent the lord through the wall, landing on the other side.

 

Kagome followed him through the wall, growling at him. `He hurt me! He actually hurt me! How could he? I should purify his ass right now!'

 

A barrier kept the youkai on the ground, growling at his prison.

 

“You know I could kill you, right? You can't get away, and I could turn you into a pile of ash.”

 

`Does she hate me that much?' Angry red eyes flashed at her. “Then why do you hesitate? Kill me, or risk your own death when your strength fails and I am free.”

 

Fists clenched, Kagome glared back at him. `I should. Then I could be free. I would not have to be stuck here with someone who will never love me.' Pain stabbed through her heart at the thought of leaving, or that he could kill her in cold blood.

 

“You could kill me, Sesshomaru? You could look at my face and strike me down?”

 

The eyes began to clear. “Do you believe I could?”

 

Tears were filling Kagome's eyes. `I can't kill him. Damn it all, I can't do it. I still love the damn arrogant bastard.'

 

The inu-youkai took a swing at the barrier, burning his hands. “Kill me, then. If that is what you want then do it.”

 

“I can't do it!”

 

“Why? Are you too weak to defeat this Sesshomaru?”

 

“No, because I love you, you ass!”

 

`Oh, damn. That was not what I had planned on saying.'

 

Kagome's face went white as she backed away. “I . . . I . . .” She turned and ran, not even sure of where she was going but desperate to get away. She could not face this rejection, not now! Her stomach flipped over as her captive attacked the barrier, draining her strength away. `I won't be able to hold the barrier much longer. Oh, Kami, he's going to kill me, isn't he? The man I love is going to kill me! I have to hide!'

 

The youkai watched as Kagome raced away from him. `Nani? Did she just say that she loves me?'

 

Darting through the trees Kagome tried to find somewhere to hide. The world started to spin, then her stomach lurched. She fell to the ground, clinging to a tree trunk with her eyes shut and her body shaking. The barrier had just collapsed and he was on his way. `One chimpanzee, two chimpanzee . . .'

 

Sesshomaru looked at the miko, clinging to the tree and mumbling to herself. `She looks terrified. She truly expects me to kill her. What have I done that would make her think that I care so little for her, that I could just destroy her without a thought'

 

When she felt Sesshomaru stop next to her Kagome stopped counting. `Twenty seconds? That took forever! What was he doing?' She snuck a peek at him. `He's not moving. Is he trying to figure out how he wants to kill me? I can't do anything to stop him; I have no strength left at all. I can't even run anymore!'

 

A touch on her cheek almost made Kagome jump out of her skin. “Eep!” `This is it! I'm dead!'

 

“Kagome.”

 

Strong arms carefully pried her arms away from the tree, pulling her into an embrace. “Kagome, what are you doing?”

 

“I'm running from you, baka! I don't want to be killed!”

 

“You truly believe that I am here to kill you?”

 

“Do you see my arm?! That's your handiwork. What is going to keep you from finishing me off?”

 

Sesshomaru carefully pushed Kagome's sleeve up, staring at the slashes he had given her. He could barely remember his attack. The youkai had tried to take control and force his mate to submit, and this had been the result. He ran a gentle finger down her arm, guilt gnawing at his heart. “I apologize. Why did you not finish it, Kagome?”

 

The miko bit her lip, looking away. Sesshomaru put a finger under her chin, bringing her eyes back to his. “Kagome, why?”

 

A quiet growl escaped Kagome. “Because I love you, you bastard.”

 

The arm around Kagome tightened slightly. “You do not know what it means to hear you say that.”

 

Kagome looked up into those gold eyes, confusion and tears on her face. “Why? You were forced into this, what do you care? You could never love a human like me.”

 

“Perhaps you can help me with this. I did tell you that you would need to advise me of any developments in this area. Is it love if you are at peace when you are with a person? When they are away, do you long to hear their voice, see their face, and smell their scent? I would imagine that a person in love would not be able to imagine any other at their side, and would not consider the possibility. The idea of being separated would distress them. They would be thankful that this person is with them. Is it love if one wishes to be with this person for each day of their life?”

 

Mouth open in shock, Kagome could only nod.

 

“Then it would seem that I love you.”

 

“Nani? But you attacked me! You looked like you were going to kill me!”

 

Sesshomaru sighed. “I do not want anything to happen to you. You seem to attract danger, miko, and even with guards and my protection you have many scars to show for your decision to stay. I do not want to lose you for want of protection. You were being exceedingly stubborn, and it was . . . annoying. Your injury was not intentional. You can only push a male inu-youkai so far. You were told that battles for dominance would be a part of the relationship.”

 

“And I told you that I would not go easy on you.”

 

“Hai. You should defend yourself. But you should also be reasonable when it comes to guarding yourself from danger.”

 

“I can deal with it myself, Sesshomaru. You said that I had these scars even with the guards, maybe we can save a few guards by letting me take care of myself. Good guards are hard to find, you know.”

 

`She is teasing me.' The youkai raised one eyebrow at her. “You still need protection.”

 

A low growl rumbled out of Kagome.

 

“Peace. We can arrange a compromise that will offer protection without causing you to purify me.”

 

The miko giggled, leaning into Sesshomaru's chest. “I think I have been around you too long. Growling is becoming second nature.”

 

“Growling is what got us into this situation to begin with.”

 

“Then I see no reason to stop now.” Kagome looked up into that perfect face, one finger tracing his lips. “Perhaps we should return to the palace, the guards will be wondering if they still have a Lord and Lady.”

 

“Leave them to wonder.” Sesshomaru kissed her, a gentle kiss that took Kagome's breath away.

 

`He loves me! He loves me! The annoying jerk, the damn arrogant bastard, the overgrown mutt loves me! In his own, overly protective and possessive inu-youkai way, he loves me!'

 

`Told ya. Now quit being mad at him!'

 

`Oh, shut up.'

 

Kagome returned his kiss, feeling free now that she knew her feelings were returned. She ran her fingers up into his hair, savoring the silky texture. Gentle pressure encouraged her to deepen the kiss, allowing their tongues to meet and duel for dominance. Both won, and neither was defeated. Slowly, Kagome was pressed to the ground, Sesshomaru's body covering hers with heat and strength.

 

Claws were running over her clothes, quickly becoming impatient and slicing through the ties. Her hakama was shredded, the tattered remains falling away. Kagome's hands found his ties, pulling them free. One refused to untie, and with a growl she snapped it, shoving his haori off of his shoulders. Their mouths met again as they pressed their bodies together. Kagome's beautiful breasts were crushed against his chest, his hands tangled in her hair.

 

His hakama was untied and slid off of his hips, leaving them both naked in the grass. A quick move from Kagome landed her mate on his back in the grass. Giggling, the miko trailed her mouth down his body, tracing her tongue over his chest. The hot breath washed over his stomach, making his body shake. She pulled his length into her mouth, pulling a low moan from him as his fingers tightened in her hair.

 

Her eyes lit up with a wicked smile. She teased him, teased him till he thought he would lose his mind. When her mate was panting, she slid back up his body. Slowly, she sheathed him inside of her. His eyes locked with hers, watching as she took control of the rhythm. Her hands braced on his chest as she rose and fell above him. He could see her gorgeous body, her midnight hair, her luscious throat. His body shook as she rode him, moaning in pleasure.

 

Kagome savored the feeling of being in control. She set the rhythm and the thrusts, her body tightening as her climax approached. When it took hold of her, she called his name, bracing her arms on his thighs and throwing her head back. Her body stilled as she recovered from her pleasure, a smile appearing on her lips.

 

With a quick movement Sesshomaru rolled his mate underneath him, taking advantage of her distraction. He thrust into her, her body still shaking from her first climax. She moaned and dug her fingers into his shoulders. With her legs wrapped around his waist Sesshomaru set a fierce pace, driving her hard and sending her spinning into her second climax. He was just behind her, his body exploding as he bit her neck, growling her name.

 

Contentment washed over the pair, holding each other in the grass. Kagome brushed silver hair away from gold eyes. “I don't have any regrets. Do you?”

 

“Never.”

 

They dozed off, lying under the trees.

 

*~*~*~*

 

“The least you could have done was not rip my clothing to the point that I couldn't wear it back.” Kagome was blushing as she held her haori closed. Her hakama was such a complete loss that she had not even tried to put it back on.

 

“Are you complaining?” Sesshomaru nuzzled her neck, nipping at her skin.

 

A shiver ran through Kagome. “Not really, but you need to learn to bite me in places that are easier to hide.” Her fingers ran over her neck, feeling the bite mark just over her haori. “If you would have aimed just a bit lower I would not be explaining another hickie.”

 

“You are the Lady of the Western Lands, you do not need to explain to anybody.”

 

“You forgot the one person that is exempt from that. Rin.”

 

“True. You must explain yourself to her, but no others.”

 

Kagome gave up on making herself look decent. “I hope you have a plan for sneaking me back into the palace, I really don't want the guards to get this much of an eye full.”

 

Sesshomaru growled as he swept her up into his arms. “They will not see you.” He moved up into the air, flying to the palace at speeds that made Kagome's head spin. In Sesshomaru's room he set her down, whispering in her ear. “Only I get to see that much of you.”

 

A slow, sensuous kiss threatened to send them both to bed for the rest of the day.

 

“Kagome-chan? Rin cannot read some of the scroll that the Captain gave her. Can Kagome-chan help?”

 

The couple broke apart. “Hai, Jo-chan. I'll be there in just a moment.” A quick kiss for her mate, then she was heading to her own room to find clothing that was still intact. “We'll finish this later. After all, we have the rest of our lives, right?”

 

“Hai, koishii.”

 

Kagome emerged from her room, neatly dressed, and caught up with Rin in the little girl's room. `Nope, no regrets. Sure, it was a gamble, but I won. And it was worth it. It's amazing how you can go from having nothing to having everything.'

 

*~*~*~*