InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Of Gods and Monsters ❯ Chapter 39: What Matters Most ( Chapter 39 )

A/N: Welcome to the most heavily-revised chapter I've ever written! Thanks must, must, must be given to Nanda for pointing out the problems in the first half and to Ithilwen for pointing out the problems in the second. Thanks to Kat and Merith for being there to listen to me whine. And, last but not least, thanks to Everstar for making that truly evil suggestion. *grin* She knows which one I'm talkin' about.

Chapter 39: What Matters Most

Inuyasha hated looking for things.

Jewel shards, for instance, were a pain in the ass to locate, but finding one of the damned things alleviated the annoyance that the search brought.

If he thought looking for shards was bad, looking for Sesshoumaru was worse. It occurred to Inuyasha, as he patrolled the forest as well as the village's perimeter, that he would rather have been scouring the countryside looking for rice-sized slivers of a mystical jewel than searching for his half-brother who was probably pissed off beyond reason.

It wasn't that Inuyasha dreaded fighting Sesshoumaru; he looked forward to it as much as any other battle. But this wasn't quite like the other times he and Sesshoumaru had fought. Now, rather than fiery enthusiasm or resigned determination, Inuyasha felt the anticipation of the inevitable clash gather in his skin, sending a prickling sensation down his spine. He wanted this fight, even if he'd learned through experience that Sesshoumaru gave as good as he got. Inuyasha was still feeling the sting of betrayal, and it was a sting that resonated deeply within him. He had begun to view his half-brother in a different light, and that he could be so easily fooled, that he could have believed the youkai capable of change - these things had left Inuyasha feeling foolish, stupid... gullible.

Aphrodite's words still echoed through Inuyasha's mind. 'He will not take this well.'

The hanyou uttered a short, derisive snort. No shit. He's going to take this about as well as he'd taken the news that his half-human bastard brother inherited the mighty Inutaisho's Tetsusaiga.

Much like he'd been doing since coming through the well earlier that morning, Inuyasha continued to patrol the perimeter of the village, his eyes, ears, and nose attuned to any hint of his brother. So far, the scents were familiar enough and nothing worth his concern, but the wind had changed, and so his search would have to shift slightly.

As he ran, jumping upwards to the higher branches and leaping effortlessly from tree to tree, Inuyasha found his steps leading him back to the well. He tried steering clear of the entire clearing, but he somehow kept himself coming back - returning to the very place he'd resolved to avoid. And now, as the familiar sight came into view again, Inuyasha blew out a resigned breath. One quick sweep - just to alleviate the niggle of worry that seemed determined to blossom in his chest.

He wasn't worried that she'd returned. He wasn't. Kagome had promised to stay in her time. She'd promised.

She wouldn't come back, not after I...

Inuyasha's thought trailed off as a frown etched across his forehead. This was Kagome, after all.

Yeah. Better check.

In only a few minutes, he found himself at the well, his fingertips grazing the wooden lip, relief and disappointment rising in twin surges when he inhaled, scenting nothing but stale smells long settled. No. Nope, she stayed put. Casting a quick look around, the hanyou took a short break in patrol to gaze down into the well's shadowy depths. Just stay there, Kagome. Please.

***

Grass and dry twigs crunched and snapped under Sesshoumaru's feet as he walked the forest beyond the village's perimeter. Disturbing the ground stirred up long settled scents and he could smell his mate among soil and brush, the dried-out smell of autumn adding an earthy element to her otherwise unique scent. While comforting, it did little to assuage his increasing unease. He'd managed to find every place she'd been, but not where she was. By this point, the taiyoukai's keen sense of smell had confirmed what he had already suspected - Teles was nearby, and had been in Inuyasha's company. Unfortunately, that wasn't quite enough.

Dread and anxiety made his pulse race until the drumming hammered in his ears. The youkai had found it necessary to stop several times in an effort to assuage his nerves, willing his body to obey him. He could hear nothing above the desperate, rapid heartbeat.

At least, he thought as his steps led him further away from the small village, she is not alone. Yes, Inuyasha has interfered, but if she is safe, I will forgive him that. Sesshoumaru could tell that Teles had been to the village, but she had also left in the company of Inuyasha and the miko - all that remained for Sesshoumaru to do was find where they had spirited her away.

After that it was merely a matter of convincing Teles to return with him.

Sesshoumaru's jaw tightened reflexively. Ah, yes. "Convince" her. After all you've done, after allowing her to believe you no longer love her, yes, convincing will be no trouble at all.

The youkai blew out a soft sigh, his steps coming to a stop. He would do whatever the situation required.

And if the situation requires begging...

It hadn't taken Sesshoumaru long at all to find the spot where Inuyasha and Teles' scents had begun to mingle. He'd located the copse of trees where she had, he assumed, found shelter from the wind. She'd stayed there for a while - her scent had settled, but the way the earth was disturbed, it was evident she'd remained there for several hours.

Time he'd spent sleeping.

No, he admonished himself. Dwelling on such things is fruitless. Find her. Find her and then make it right.

From the thicket, the youkai lord continued tracking his mate's scent, completely intertwined with that of his brother. It had still been hours since she'd passed through the village. The sun was already at its peak; she had not been in the village since sunrise, at least.

It didn't surprise the youkai that his brother would have tried to hide her in the woods - the area was heavy with Inuyasha's scent. It became more difficult for Sesshoumaru to discern Teles' scent in the jumble, and the youkai grew frustrated the longer his search progressed, providing him with nothing.

Nothing, at least, until the wind changed.

Sesshoumaru's head jerked up as he caught scent - a fresh scent - of his half-brother. Taking to the air, Sesshoumaru followed the trail. It led him to a clearing that was like hundreds of others in the hare, aside from a stone-walled well, which was likewise unremarkable. But it wasn't the meadow or the well that caught the youkai lord's attention as he landed noiselessly in the clearing; it was Inuyasha.

The youkai's brows twitched together momentarily as he regarded his brother. He is alone? Where did he put her? He took several silent steps forward, watching the hanyou's red-clad back. After a moment, the hanyou ran his hand along the lip of the well, staring down into it. The puzzled frown that tugged at the youkai's features didn't last when he realized that Teles' scent was here, too. In fact, there were a myriad of smells in this clearing - Inuyasha, the miko, Teles, and...

Aphrodite?

The light floral scent layered into the rest was almost unnoticeable, but immediately conjured up memories of Olympus as well as Aphrodite's quarters. Aphrodite. It's a damned conspiracy. His jaw tightened in anger for a split second, but as the monk's earlier words floated through his mind, a knot descended on his stomach, tightening.

'She believed you no longer loved her.'

Sesshoumaru's hands curled into fists at the surge of frustration and helplessness twining around him. If that is also Aphrodite's belief… No. No. She assured me that Teles would never leave me. If the word of a goddess cannot be trusted…

Resolutely, the youkai lord took another step closer. "Inuyasha."

Right away, the hanyou's silver ears swiveled and his head snapped up immediately as he turned. His eyes had widened at the sound of the familiar voice, and upon seeing Sesshoumaru, his eyes narrowed. Shit, Inuyasha swore silently, that's what I fuckin' get for stoppin'! His expression went from surprise to stony anger in an instant, and the low growl rumbling through his throat could be heard across the clearing. "What do you want?" he ground out through his teeth.

Sesshoumaru inclined his head and glared at his half brother. "My mate," he replied coolly.

Maybe if Inuyasha hadn't spent most of the early morning hours carrying his brother's frightened mate to safety, or if he hadn't witnessed what she'd gone through with the coming of the sun, his reaction might have been different. Perhaps if his good-bye to Kagome wasn't still so fresh in his heart as well as his memory, Inuyasha might have heard the ragged edge to the youkai's usually smooth voice. But the hanyou was not so inclined to listen for such a detail. In fact, there was very little the taiyoukai could have done to assuage the hanyou's temper.

These emotions had iced over and solidified in his chest. At present, getting rid of him was the hanyou's sole objective. Regarding his brother with a hard, mirthless smile, Inuyasha folded his arms over his chest. "Sorry, can't help ya."

"No?" the elder youkai returned, tilting his head slightly as a breeze rustled through his hair and clothes. "And yet, I'm quite sure you've seen her." Though Sesshoumaru remained composed, that composure was slowly washing away, like the shore after too many assaults from powerful, crashing waves. Negotiation - talking was too much of an effort. He wanted answers.

"Oh, I've seen her all right," Inuyasha drawled. "I didn't SAY I never saw her. I just said I can't help ya."

"...I see." A beat of silence passed, and when it became evident that Inuyasha would not be volunteering any information, Sesshoumaru suppressed a sigh. "Where is she, Inuyasha?"

Inuyasha shook his head once. "No."

The youkai lord arched an eyebrow at the flat, one-word answer. "No?" he asked, striding silently towards the well.
Bristling as the youkai drew closer, Inuyasha tilted his chin upwards stubbornly. "No. I'm not tellin' you, Sesshoumaru. She doesn't want to see you."

Sesshoumaru blinked once. Doesn't want to...

Teles. His Teles. His mate. The goddess for whom he'd searched land and sea for six long months - the woman for whom he'd traveled to a realm where he was forbidden, for whom he'd beseeched Hera's mercy, for whom he would have done nearly anything...

Did not want to see him.

Sesshoumaru felt as if he'd been struck. The truth, unadulterated, stripped of all its layers hit a sore spot within him, and far beneath his façade, he flinched. He had done this. This was the outcome of his labors for the past month. This was what he'd achieved in provoking his mate.

This was the fruit of all his labors.

His hands clenched even more tightly. No.

Narrowing his eyes, Sesshoumaru's gaze went to the well Inuyasha had been staring into so intently. "You, your human, Aphrodite, and Teles - all here." Golden eyes flicked back to the hanyou. "The trail ends here." Arching his eyebrow, Sesshoumaru tilted his head. "Why is that?"

"Keh," Inuyasha spat back. "You're crazy. Either that or you forgot how to track." He jerked his chin over his shoulder. "This well's dry. Been dry for a long time."

"Ah." Several long seconds stretched out as the youkai appeared to consider his half-brother's words, as well as the way the hanyou moved slowly, putting himself between the well and the taiyoukai. Sesshoumaru's brow lifted only a fraction. Dry, is it?

Then, in a flash of motion, Sesshoumaru darted to the side and lifted his hand, the blindingly bright energy whip unfurling and snapping towards the well. Much like he expected, Inuyasha was a blur of red as he lunged, unsheathing Tetsusaiga in a blaze, deflecting the whip with the transformed blade. Sesshoumaru let the whip flicker and fade out as a small, cruel smile of satisfaction curled at his lips.

Inuyasha stood before him, his body lowered into a defensive stance, his muscles bunched and ready. His hands were curled tightly around Tetsusaiga's hilt, his knuckles white. Sesshoumaru could see that his half-brother was prepared to spring - the youkai could sense the anger rolling off of him. The hanyou's posture, his sword at the ready - even the way his eyes were narrowed - all told Sesshoumaru that, despite its appearance, this was no ordinary well.

An attack on the village, Inuyasha had been prepared for - even an attack on himself. He could handle that. The village could always be evacuated and rebuilt in the event of an attack. And as for a personal attack, well, Inuyasha considered himself to be something of an expert in that field. But the well was something different entirely. The well could not simply be rebuilt, as far as he knew. It could not defend itself. It was irreplaceable.

"You're stayin' the fuck away from this well," Inuyasha managed through his clenched teeth.

"Am I?" Sesshoumaru replied evenly. He lifted his hand again, taking perverse pleasure in the way Inuyasha reacted to the slight movement. "What does it matter to you if I choose to destroy this... useless relic?" His lips curved upwards in a tiny, mocking smile. "It is, after all, dry. As you made so clear."

Inuyasha took a step forward. "Call it sentimental value," he said tartly. When the youkai lord's expression turned to one of incredulity, Inuyasha shook his head slowly. "Just go back to the den, Sesshoumaru. Go. Don't come back."

Silence passed between the two brothers, and as the brisk, late autumn wind blew across the clearing, a thick, oppressive silence settled between them. Only their surroundings seemed oblivious to their plight; the few remaining birds still twittered in the trees and the bright sunshine cascaded down on the world, trying to ease the chill that the impending winter seemed determined to bestow.

In this relative silence, Inuyasha's words reverberated through Sesshoumaru's mind. The demand - indeed, the insolence of the demand grated on the youkai's already worn nerves. How dare he? Inuyasha knew nothing of the situation. He knew nothing of what had gone on - what had truly gone on. How dare Inuyasha presume to make demands of him, Sesshoumaru? "Why?" he asked, his voice lowering to a growl.

Disbelief and indignation sparked in the hanyou's tawny irises as his eyes widened. "'Cause you fuckin' drove your mate away, you idiot!" he yelled, taking a half a step forward. "She was wanderin' around the gods-forsaken woods tryin' to get away from you! She coulda died out there!"

As Sesshoumaru's fists tightened further, his claws dug into his palm, the sharp prick tugging the youkai out of the numbing haze that had wrapped around him with those words. Had no one found her, she very well could have died.
Sesshoumaru felt the words tighten in his throat - the simple explanation that would...

All he had to do was tell Inuyasha and...

No.

No. No, he, Sesshoumaru, did not owe Inuyasha anything, much less an explanation. His explanation belonged to Teles - and only her. The youkai's jaw set painfully, his teeth grinding against each other. "That does not give you the right to interfere," he hissed.

"When she comes to me, askin' for my help, it does give me the right," Inuyasha replied hotly. "I told her I'd help her keep that pup safe."

Though his half brother had not said the words, Sesshoumaru felt them implied. Inuyasha had promised Teles he would help her keep the pup safe from him. His temper spiked again, and though it was only evident in a slight narrowing of the eyes, Sesshoumaru felt his control fraying like worn linen. A deep warning growl rumbled through his throat as he bared his fangs at Inuyasha. "I would not endanger my child," he said, his silken voice low and dangerous. When Inuyasha did nothing but toss him an incredulous glare, Sesshoumaru gritted his teeth even harder. "For the last time, Inuyasha," he said, his voice the aural equivalent of velvet, "where is she?"

Inuyasha's expression was stormy and determined. "I'm not telling you," he replied resolutely. "She wanted to get away from you - and part of her gettin' away from you is the part where you don't know where she is." At these words, Sesshoumaru lifted his hand again, flicking the energy whip towards the well Inuyasha was so intent on protecting. Again, the hanyou used Tetsusaiga to deflect the blow. "Don't," he growled.

Sneering, Sesshoumaru inclined his head. "I can't think why I shouldn't," he replied archly.

"Just don't," Inuyasha managed through his teeth. "Go back to the fucking den and don't come back."

The youkai lord lifted his eyebrow, arching it slightly. "Not good enough, little brother." His movements were little more than a blur as he moved past Inuyasha, allowing the energy whip to unfurl before lashing out at the well and searing one of the beams that made up the lip. It was a warning - another strike would not be so gentle.

Uttering a vicious swear, Inuyasha leapt in front of Sesshoumaru, blocking the well. He swung Tetsusaiga, and if Sesshoumaru hadn't blurred backwards suddenly, the blade would have relieved him of his right rather than his left arm. Inuyasha swore again when he missed, jumping backwards and raising Tetsusaiga to meet Sesshoumaru's whip yet again.

"Your precious well for my mate, Inuyasha," Sesshoumaru snarled as he snapped the whip directly at Inuyasha.

The hanyou grunted as he swung at the attack. "It doesn't work like that, Sesshoumaru."

"Doesn't it?" He paused a moment, letting the energy whip fade into nothing as he lifted his other hand, which had already started to glow green. "I wonder how well those old timbers withstand poison." Sesshoumaru wasn't entirely sure what was so special about the well, but the fact that Inuyasha was protecting it so steadfastly was enough to arouse the youkai's suspicions. Frankly, he didn't care if he smashed it to splinters - he would do it if it meant getting an answer out of his half-brother.

"You melt it and she's really never coming back!" Inuyasha shouted hoarsely. Suddenly, the reality of what he'd just revealed slammed into him. Damn it! Damn it! Damn it! FUCK! DAMN IT! Inuyasha's eyes closed and his jaw tightened - but he could not take back what he'd already said, how much he'd already exposed.

The words, however, stopped Sesshoumaru cold.

Sudden silence settled over the clearing. "...What?" the taiyoukai asked, his voice a shadow of its usual timbre. After a moment, calculation flickered across Sesshoumaru's face and his gaze went back to the well, which seemed not so unremarkable anymore. She can't come back if... He looked again at Inuyasha, then back at the well. A portal. It must be some form of portal.

"She went through the well," Inuyasha clarified flatly. "You destroy it..."

Then she is gone forever. "So it is a portal."

There was a brief hesitation on Inuyasha's part. "Yeah. It is."

Sesshoumaru looked back and forth between Inuyasha and the well for several seconds. A portal leading he knew not where, but his mate was on the other side. All he had to do was pass through...

The youkai's golden eyes narrowed and the green poison dissipated, fading from his fingertips as he leapt onto the well's lip. He kept his gaze steadily on Inuyasha as he did this, but when the hanyou only rested Tetsusaiga on his shoulder, glaring at the youkai lord, it dawned on Sesshoumaru. He could not pass through.

"I see," he said quietly, looking down into the well. "Your human and my mate passed through. As did you. But I cannot. For whatever reason."

"Well, you could try," Inuyasha spat back acerbically. "But, y'know, the drop might break your neck, and that'd be a huge tragedy."

But Sesshoumaru did not hear him. He was still gazing into the fathomless darkness, the stark reality of the situation hardening within him. His mate was gone - gone beyond his reach. No distance traveled could possibly change that. She was gone.

But the miko... If Inuyasha passed through and managed to come back, then his human would be joining him. Inuyasha would get her back.

Resentment, cold and black, started to bubble up in the youkai lord's chest. If he could never see his mate again, then why should Inuyasha be spared the pain? With a snarl, Sesshoumaru lifted his hand and snapped the energy whip down onto the lip of the well, which cracked loudly under the blow. He would destroy this portal - he would take his time about it, and he would make Inuyasha watch.

Inuyasha saw the slight shift in his half-brother's expression, sliding from pensive to furious in only a second. But when he lifted his hand, Inuyasha felt fear and adrenaline sluice through his veins. He leapt suddenly, slamming hard into Sesshoumaru's torso, sending them both backwards. He was vaguely aware of the fact that Tetsusaiga was no longer in his hands, and Inuyasha swore internally at this realization when Sesshoumaru reached up to wrap his hand around Inuyasha's throat.

"She left," the hanyou growled through clenched teeth. "Fuckin' deal with it."

"I am," Sesshoumaru replied with an icy smile. He flung Inuyasha aside and charged the well once more.

Inuyasha landed hard, but didn't feel the impact. Instead, he rolled quickly to his feet, dashing for the well once more and leaping onto the battered lip. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Tetsusaiga lying useless on the ground not far from the well. Dammit. Turning his gaze on Sesshoumaru, Inuyasha narrowed his eyes. "I fuckin' told you - she went through!" he shouted. "You destroy that well, and-"

"And, what, Inuyasha?" Sesshoumaru hissed icily. "She'll never be able to return again?" He narrowed his eyes, his voice growing even more frigid. "You said she wished to leave me forever. If that is true, then it matters not whether I smash that portal or no. But if my mate is gone, then so is yours."

"I'll kill you first," Inuyasha replied, his voice low, thick with the promise of bloodshed.

Golden eyes gleamed with demonic joy. "Very well." In a movement almost too quick to see, Sesshoumaru knocked Inuyasha off of the well, sending them both sailing across the clearing until they landed, marring the clearing further. The impact had knocked the air out of Inuyasha, and he struggled to inhale as Sesshoumaru raised his claws to tear at his throat. But before Sesshoumaru's claws could descend, Inuyasha grabbed his wrist, bracing it above him.

"You said you weren't gonna endanger the pup," Inuyasha managed as he willed his lungs to fill.

"I fail to see how killing you endangers my child," the youkai returned with a sneer.

"You wanna leave that pup alone with no-one to help it? Fine," Inuyasha snarled. He was pushing up against Sesshoumaru's arm, but was making little headway, even as his claws dug into the youkai's forearm sending thin rivulets of dark blood down his fingers.

In all the years that would follow, Inuyasha would never forget how those words made Sesshoumaru hesitate. It didn't strike him as he was lying there, but later, after he'd had time to digest the encounter, it would prod at him.

The youkai lord's face was expressionless, the only movement a muscle twitching in his jaw. The silence that followed was complete, and as that silence stretched into seconds - into nearly a full minute - it was almost a surprise when Sesshoumaru finally did speak. "What?" he asked, his voice a bare whisper.

"You said you don't want to endanger the pup. You just said it. You kill me now, and there won't be anyone to teach him - no one to help protect him over there. You say you want what's best for the kid? Fuckin' prove it."

Several seconds passed before Sesshoumaru got smoothly to his feet. He turned his gaze back to the well and stared at it for several long moments.

Inuyasha got to his feet behind him. "Y'know, in all this time, all you've said is you want your mate back. You say you want Teles back. But it ain't just her, y'know. She's got the pup to worry about."

Sesshoumaru opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out at first. He swallowed and tried again. "Are they safe?"

"I can't fuckin' figure out what you want her back for in the first place after half the shit she said you..." Here, Inuyasha trailed off. "Huh?"

"Where you took he-them. Are they safe there?"

"Safe?" Inuyasha shrugged. "It's safer than here, I'd say. There's plenty of shit on that side, but..."

The youkai lord's amber gaze did not waver from the well. "I... suppose, if it is safe enough for your mate..." He did not see his half-brother gaping at him as if he'd sprung a second head. Instead he stared fixedly at the well. An ache - different from any other - thrummed through his chest. If... if she went through, and she truly desires to be gone... I have no way of forcing him to bring her back. If I smash the well, he cannot retrieve her. If he goes through, I have no way of making him return... well, I suppose I could burn down the village, but even still...

He blew out a quiet breath, hating with every shred of his soul the thought trying so very hard to surface. Maybe... maybe it's better. She was in pain. She... feared me. That was what bothered him the most - he'd behaved so foolishly, and all it had earned him was her fear. If I am not there to frighten her, perhaps the pup will settle.

Swallowing hard, Sesshoumaru walked slowly to the well; he could hear Inuyasha move behind him, and he knew without looking that the hanyou was already bracing himself for another round. He heard Inuyasha retrieve the abandoned Tetsusaiga and then heard the hum of energy as it transformed. Sesshoumaru had barely registered the fact that Inuyasha had dropped it in the first place - obviously Inuyasha hadn't felt so threatened that his youkai blood awoke. The youkai snorted silently. Obviously I was not trying hard enough. He tilted his head slightly, listening; Inuyasha was poised behind him, waiting. Clearly the hanyou was expecting more of a fight. Instead obliging him, the youkai laid a hand on the well's lip near where he'd cracked it.

This way, he thought, perhaps, if she wishes... this way she can return.

Inuyasha took a hesitant step forward. "Just go," he said quietly.

After a moment, Sesshoumaru nodded mutely. Lifting his hand slowly, he looked at Inuyasha - and for a fraction of a second he looked as if he was about to say something. Instead, he turned around and walked quietly towards the woods.

Once the youkai lord was out of sight, Inuyasha exhaled a shaky breath and leaned against the well. He glanced down at the seared, cracked wood on the lip and sighed silently. No. No, just 'cause he's gone doesn't mean this is over. Not by a long shot.

***

"Houshi-sama! What do you think you're doing?"

Miroku blinked, the very picture of innocence. "Ah, nothing?"

Sango's eyes widened as she sputtered slightly. "You swore you wouldn't... and now you're..."

"Sango," he replied calmly, "I have a perfectly good explanation..."

"I see." The taiji-ya's voice was firm as she glared down at the monk. "So, let's have it."

She was standing in the doorway of the armory, her arms loaded with bottles of fresh water she'd refilled at a nearby cold spring. They had arrived at the taiji-ya village in good time, but afternoon was already fading to evening - they hadn't eaten, Kirara was exhausted, and Miroku's throat was beginning to show signs of what promised to be an ugly bruise. In fact, Sango found couldn't stand to look at it, which was odd - she'd seen far worse injuries in her days. Why the burgeoning hand-shaped bruise wrapped around Miroku's throat bothered her so, she couldn't say. Sango only knew that the sight of it made something hot tighten in her chest.

When she couldn't stand it any longer, Sango had gone down to the spring to get them more water - she was going to need it to clean the five ugly puncture wounds caused by Sesshoumaru's claws. And before she had left, Miroku had assured her - had promised her in an uncharacteristically hoarse voice - that he would rest.

Instead of resting, she had returned to find him poring over the scrolls they'd retrieved from Sesshoumaru's personal library. He'd looked up when she approached, and the sheepish smile in place warred against the discoloration against his neck.

Silence stretched out between them and Sango arched an eyebrow. "Well? Let's have this great explanation of yours, houshi-sama. There's nothing in those scrolls that can't wait a little while - at least until I dress your wounds."

"It just so happens, Sango, that I find reading very relaxing," he riposted lightly.

"Uh huh," she muttered, walking across the room and setting the bottles of water down with the rest of their supplies. Lowering herself down on her haunches, she started rifling through the bandages and ointments Kagome had let them bring. Her brows drew into a frown she picked through the supplies. I don't know if he realizes how lucky he is that Sesshoumaru didn't use his Dokkasou. She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye - he was watching her intently. Sango felt a flush warm her cheeks as she turned her attention back to the task at hand.

Soon she straightened and carried some of the first aid supplies over to where Miroku sat quietly, several of the Inutaisho scrolls scattered around him. She knelt before him and set down the bandages and ointment. "Tilt your head back," she said quietly. He did without an argument, and Sango saw bruising, the five perfect puncture wounds up close. She swallowed hard. "The blood has started to dry up already - that's a good sign, but it's going to make it harder to clean the wounds. It might hurt."

His throat moved as he laughed softly. "Then it's a good thing, Sango, that I'm quite used to you inflicting pain on me. I've built up a tolerance to it."

She scowled a little. Can't he take anything seriously? She dabbed some of Kagome's "antiseptic" on a clean pad and wiped it across the wounds. To his credit, Miroku only flinched slightly. "How does it feel?" she asked softly, squeezing some ointment onto her fingers before smoothing it over the lesions.

"Like an angry inuyoukai grabbed me around the throat," he replied.

"I don't know whether that's good or bad," she replied softly, wrapping the pristine bandage around his neck. "Tell me if that's too tight."

"It's fine, Sango."

She nodded, even though he couldn't see it and found to her annoyance that tears had started to burn at her eyes, blurring her vision. No matter how hard she tried, she could not rid herself of the mental image - Sesshoumaru holding Miroku so casually, as if he were a doll. Anything could have happened. The youkai could have snapped his neck with no effort at all...

She closed her eyes for a moment, willing the tears back. Miroku was fine. He was fine. It was pointless to hash over the incident now.

And yet, the stubborn tears continued to rise, clinging to her lashes. Dammit.

When warm fingers touched her cheek, wiping the moisture away, her eyes flew open. Miroku was looking down at her, his expression almost unreadable, save for the empathy in his violet gaze.

"I'm all right, Sango," he said, his voice low.

She nodded once, swiping hastily at her eyes. "Gods, I don't know what's wrong with me." This wasn't entirely true; Sango had a very good idea what was wrong with her. Voicing it was another matter entirely.

"You were worried," Miroku replied, wiping again at the damp trails. "I know - I was, too."

"Well, you were the one grabbed by the throat..."

"That's not why I was worried."

Sango blinked once. "No? I should think that would be plenty for you to worry about."

Miroku shrugged. "I was more worried about you - about..."

Her brows twitched. "About...?"

His words were nearly inaudible. "Leaving you."

The words rendered Sango motionless. Yes, she'd heard him at the shrine. Yes, he'd said things to her the night before. And yet, none of it struck her as deeply as those two words did. Closing her eyes, she leaned forward, brushing her lips against his, and when his mouth moved slowly against hers, a detached part of her mind registering the taste of her tears on his lips.

It was Miroku who broke the kiss, staring down at her with dark eyes. "I suppose this doesn't count as resting, either."

Sango uttered a soft, sheepish chuckle, reaching up to run her fingers through his bangs, smiling when Miroku closed his eyes. "No, I suppose not."

One violet eye opened and a thick, dark eyebrow arched. "Do you even want to know what I found while you were gone?"

Expelling a soft breath, she let her fingers wander away from his hair, her thumb stroking his temple softly. "I have a feeling you're going to tell me." She drew away reluctantly and turned her attention back to the bandages at his throat. Fastening the dressing, she sat back on her heels, regarding him. "So, what did you find?"

Turning, Miroku picked up the nearest of the discarded scrolls and settled back into a cross-legged position. "I've found a few passages where Inutaisho refers to his human mate's increased irritability."

Sango frowned slightly. "Teles didn't seem particularly irritable."

"Well, no," Miroku admitted, his eyes never leaving the scroll. "But then, if you..." but he seemed to think better of what he was going to say and trailed off.

"If you... what?" Sango prompted, easing forward to peer at the scroll.

"Nothing," he replied quietly, his eyes tracking the characters.

The taiji-ya laid a hand over the scroll and ducked her head to meet his eyes. "Miroku. What were you going to say?" When he didn't respond, she pursed her lips in thought. "This has to do with that promise you made Teles, doesn't it?" After a moment, he nodded and Sango lifted a wry eyebrow. "I think, houshi, that given the circumstances, it might be more beneficial to our cause if you tell me what she said to you."

After a second, Miroku sighed deeply. "She feared that he regretted being mated to her. She believed that he no longer cared for her, that he kept her with him out of a sense of obligation. I asked her if she feared him, and while she said she didn't... I can't help but feel that perhaps..."

"Perhaps what?"

He met her gaze steadily. "That maybe she was trying to... protect him."

"Protect Sesshoumaru?" Sango replied flatly. "Forgive me, but I don't think Sesshoumaru needs protection from anyone."

"No?" the houshi riposted. "And what do you think would have happened had she admitted that she was afraid of him? Had she told me, I certainly would have let Inuyasha know. She cares for him, Sango - right or wrong, she did not want harm to come to him."

Sango expelled a deep sigh, frustration flaring in her eyes. "Then she has less sense than I would have expected of her."

"Sango..." But Miroku stopped, shaking his head slowly. "We're getting away from the point. The point is that Inutaisho did in fact write about his human mate's pregnancy. I've found three scrolls that mention Naoko by name - there might be more. Most of what I've found is - while interesting - not conducive to our search."

Sango tilted her head slightly. "How so?"

The young monk offered a fluid shrug. "Mostly the differences and similarities between a human and youkai pregnancy. Apparently his first mate had quite the temper when she was carrying Sesshoumaru. So did Inuyasha's mother."

Sango's expression was bland. "With all due respect, houshi-sama, the fact that an expecting mother has a temper and is irritable isn't any great mystery."

Miroku pursed his lips. "A point, I'll grant you."

"Which is why we're going to keep looking. If you've already found mention of Inuyasha's mother, then it's pretty likely there would be more, right?"

He shot her a small grin. "That, my dear Sango, is my theory. So, I think if we kept looking..."

Folding her arms, Sango shot him a glare. "What about the part where you're supposed to be resting?" But when Miroku shot her a disarming smile, she knew her argument had about as much chance holding up against him as Inuyasha had standing up against a "sit."

"I already told you, Sango - I find reading to be immensely relaxing."

The hours passed in the armory as the two read the borrowed scrolls intently, pausing to stretch, eat, or to point out relevant passages to the other. Sango had started out kneeling as she read, but soon ended up lying on an open sleeping mat, sprawled out on her stomach, kicking her legs idly as she worked her way through scroll after scroll. Miroku somehow managed to remain in the same cross-legged position he'd started out in, and privately Sango wondered how his legs didn't go completely numb.

More than once did Sango's gaze go to the houshi - if not his face, then to the bandage around his throat. Oddly, one sight filled her with peace and the other filled her with apprehension. It was during one of these quiet moments when she was sneaking a glance at Miroku that she saw a frown begin to tug at his forehead.

"Miroku? Did you find something?"

He nodded slowly. "It is entirely possible." Clearing his throat, he began to read. "'There seems to be little I can do to assuage the hatred Sesshoumaru feels for Naoko. Although she tries very hard to find any kind of common ground with him, he continually growls or glowers at her when they are in the same room together. Knowing my son, I fear that this hatred will last until well after the new pup is born.'" When he finished reading the passage, violet eyes met brown over the scroll.

"Sounds like he was trying to intimidate her." Sango murmured.

"Very much so." His eyes went back to the text. "Yes, it-"

"There's more?"

Nodding, Miroku continued. "'Naoko assures me that she doesn't think Sesshoumaru poses any danger to our unborn child, but I've seen a shadow in her eyes when Sesshoumaru is present.'" He was quiet for a moment. "Inuyoukai. Fighting breeds - like wolf youkai. She didn't want to be afraid. In fact, it seems as if she was determined not to be afraid of Sesshoumaru. And when your husband's son is a full-blooded youkai, how easy can that possibly be?"

"It also might have made him try harder," Sango mused. "He wasn't just a full-blooded youkai. He was a full-blooded youkai who made no secret of the fact that he despised her."

"Exactly," Miroku said, nodding. "I'd be nervous."

"As would I," the taiji-ya agreed. "But... I don't understand. That's surely a stressful enough situation, but there's no mention of her having trouble with the pup?"

Miroku turned his attention back to the scroll, reading intently, the tip of his tongue poking out between his lips as he concentrated. "I don't know," he sighed after a while. "Perhaps she was reassured by Inutaisho? Sesshoumaru's fear and respect for his father probably outweighed his enmity for Naoko."

"And Inutaisho wouldn't have let Sesshoumaru harm Inuyasha - or Naoko, for that matter." Sango pushed herself to her feet and began walking the length of the armory. She paused briefly at the fire, picking up a nearby stick and stoking it until it blazed at its full strength. "If Teles had begun to suspect that Sesshoumaru didn't love her anymore, then the chances are good that such a situation brought her a great deal of anxiety, particularly if she'd been trying to live with it for however long."

"No, I don't imagine her suspicions were groundless, even if Sesshoumaru seemed completely ignorant of the situation," Miroku murmured, watching the firelight reflect in Sango's face. "But even Naoko had Inutaisho's presence to reassure her."

Sango looked at the monk. "Who did Teles have? If Sesshoumaru was so willing to spend that much time away from the den, she probably didn't have many people to talk to - by my count that includes Rin and Jaken." She frowned a little. "And somehow I don't see Jaken as being very talkative... or reassuring. So that leaves Rin. And we really haven't been able to tell what life was like for Naoko - she might have had servants or some other kind of company."

Miroku expelled a deep breath. "Maybe it's that reassurance that's key? Maybe that... presence? You did say that kitsune families were the most tightly knit; the father wouldn't likely spend much time away from its wife and the kit."

Sango nodded slowly. "When a kitsune's mate is ready to whelp, he dotes on her, never leaving save to hunt, and even then he returns as quickly as possible."

"So the female needs the male's presence? That...reassurance?"

Turning away from the fire, Sango continued to pace the room slowly, her features drawing into a deeper frown. "I don't know, houshi-sama. That seems awfully..."

"Obvious?" he asked, a wry twinkle in his eye.

She chuckled softly. "More or less, yes. I mean... of course she'd want her mate nearby. Who wouldn't, particularly with a pup that active? You saw her when we were there - that baby never kicked harder than when..." Sango slowed to a stop and trailed off, her eyebrows lifting. "The pup always kicked its hardest when she was worried. And, yes, she was most frequently worried when Sesshoumaru wasn't there. But that doesn't mean she requires her mate's presence. In a kitsune family, there would be other males and females around to help make the human mate feel welcome."

"And therefore less anxious," he murmured. After a moment, he shook his head. "No, that doesn't make sense either."

"Why not?"

"Because she still had some fairly intense bouts of pain when we were there. And I got the impression that she was quite comfortable with us. In fact, Sango, if I do say so myself, we're all exceptionally welcoming." Here Miroku paused. "Well, not counting Inuyasha. But even he's looking forward to the pup's arrival. So if what you're saying is true, then she wouldn't have had any problems during our visit. But she did."

Pushing her bangs away from her forehead, Sango commenced pacing the armory. "All right. Let's review. We know that kitsune hanyou and their mothers have the greatest chance for survival. We know that kitsune hold family close. What comes with a close family? Acceptance, love, reassurance... But also survival - a more tightly-knit kitsune family would have more males to hunt, meaning less chance for starvation. Perhaps we're wrong - perhaps the other human women didn't survive because the other youkai didn't accept her, didn't bring her into the fold, didn't let her eat..."

"Youkai mate for life, Sango," Miroku replied softly. "No male who mates for life would allow his mate to be mistreated in such a way - particularly not his pregnant mate. And don't forget the bear youkai's mate who died of old age. Aren't bear youkai solitary? His mate wouldn't have had a pack around."

Sango closed her eyes. "Damn it."

"I'm sorry, but..."

The taiji-ya held up a hand, cutting him off. "No, it's all right. It is. I just..." She inhaled deeply and let the breath out in a rush. "I just want us to find this so we can get back to the village and let things get back to normal. Sesshoumaru's probably found Teles by now, and he's going to be breathing down our necks to figure this out, and..." Closing her eyes and rubbing at her face, Sango blew out a hard breath. "I'm going to go take a bath."

The silence the followed that statement was remarkable.

"And," Sango added sharply, "you do not have permission to visualize that!" But when she pulled her hands away from her face and opened her eyes, she saw Miroku looking at her, a myriad of conflicting emotions all battling for supremacy in his eyes.

But mostly, he looked a little panicked.

"I'll... keep looking," he murmured, turning back to the scrolls. It might have been a trick of the firelight, but it looked to Sango like he was blushing.

"It might take awhile. I've got to get the water, heat it..."

But still he would not look at her. "Take your time. I'll be here."

And there the conversation ended. There were no quips, no knowing glances, no suggestive phrases. There was only Miroku, bent studiously over a scroll, avoiding her eyes and... blushing.

Shaking her head slowly, Sango turned and strode out of the library, heading first for the bathhouse and then for the spring. Now I've seen everything.

Once she was gone, Miroku allowed himself to exhale shakily. Behaving isn't anywhere near as easy as it appears. He stood slowly, arching his back and stretching, feeling his muscles sing as he reached high above him. A few joints popped and cracked, but it felt good to stand and move around.

A wry smile lit his lips as he wondered whether walking constituted "resting" in Sango's definition.

He could understand her frustration - his was increasing as well. Perhaps taking a break was a good idea. A nap, for instance, sounded like a fantastic idea, particularly since it would relieve him of the temptation to go anywhere near the bathhouse. But a nap would involve lying down, and it felt far too good to finally be vertical.

He reached down and picked up one of the bottles Sango had brought down to the spring to refill. Twisting the cap off slowly, he took a deep drink and headed for the doorway, ducking out into the chilly twilight, leaning against the outer wall as he stared up at the stars. After a moment he closed his eyes, tilting his face upwards, letting the silver moonlight cascade over him. His mind felt heavy and cluttered and he vowed to meditate at first light.

Once Sango returned, he'd suggest working for a little while longer before retiring for the night and starting fresh the next morning. Just then, a tiny, mischievous smile tugged at his mouth.

Or, I could tell her that now...

Mmm... better not.

Miroku stood outside the armory long enough to see most of the stars brighten into being in the night sky. He remembered Kagome-sama saying something about how the stars were so far away that some of them had already died out by the time their light reached the earth.

A shame. Gone before anyone can possibly appreciate its beauty.

Perhaps that was why Miroku had managed to behave himself for this long. He didn't want... whatever was developing between and Sango to burn out before it was seen.

Rolling his shoulders suddenly, Miroku turned and went back into the armory, cleaning up the mess of discarded scrolls before taking a seat and choosing a new series of documents.

Halfway through the fourth scroll, he stopped suddenly, violet eyes widening. The monk was on his feet in an instant, rolling up the scroll and striding out of the armory, the precious text clutched in his hand.

It occurred to him belatedly that he had no earthly idea where the bathhouse was. A short search yielded the small hut - light splashing noises were coming from inside. At the sight of the bathhouse, Miroku's steps quickened.



Inside the bathhouse, Sango had just started to feel the cramped muscles in her neck start to loosen. The water was as hot as she could stand it and soothing beyond her wildest imagination. In fact, so comfortable was she that she'd nearly dozed off already. Twice.

But when Miroku burst in, the perfect quiet that had settled around her like a crystalline bubble shattered, and of the monk's transgressions in that one moment, she wasn't sure which one was worth killing him over. Uttering a high-pitched yelp, she ducked down in the tub until the water reached her chin. "HOUSHI-SAMA!" she yelled, outrage adding to the flush of embarrassment and hot water. "What the hell are you-"

Three words cut off the diatribe that was already gathering momentum.

"I found it!"

Sango blinked at him over the rim of the tub. "You... what?"

"I found it, Sango." The excitement in his eyes, the victorious flush in his cheeks - they couldn't have been faked.
And neither could the scroll he held tightly in his hand.

Sango swallowed once. "What does it say?"

Miroku unrolled the document, scanning it quickly until he found what he was looking for. Clearing his throat, he read.

...having returned from a hunting expedition with Sesshoumaru, I was alarmed to find the pup giving Naoko such a great deal of trouble. I spent the next few hours calming him. It pleases me that he is just as quick to respond to me in the womb as Sesshoumaru ever was. Sesshoumaru, of course, scoffs at such an idea - that a child with barely ears enough to hear could possibly be aware of anything beyond its mother's walls. I do not expect him to remember the grief he put Tsukiko through when I was not there to soothe him. Were she here, she would have reminded him, most assuredly.

It pains me that my son thinks me ancient and foolish for holding such beliefs so closely, but it is the way it has always been. This is our job as the male of our kind. It is neither legend nor myth - perhaps someday he will understand that.
Of course, for him to understand that, he would first have to... ah, but he is young yet.

Sesshoumaru has time enough to overcome the foolishness and arrogance that accompanies youth. It is conceivable that someday my eldest son will accept the full extent of his responsibilities when he becomes Lord of the Western Lands and produce an heir himself. But there are times when I fear the title will die with him.

There is so much more he needs to be taught, and so little he is willing to learn.Miroku lowered the scroll and met Sango's gaze, her dark eyes still peering at him over the rim of the bath.

"It's the male's responsibility to keep the pup calm," he said evenly.

When Sango spoke, her voice was soft. "I'd never heard that. Why hadn't I ever heard that before?"

He pressed his lips together for a moment. "You said yourself that you didn't study as often as you should have. And Inutaisho states here that Sesshoumaru considered it a myth. Maybe your elders shared his outlook."

"I wonder how he's supposed to..."

"How he's supposed to... calm the pup, you mean?" the young houshi nodded once. "I can tell you that part. It actually comes a little earlier, but it didn't make sense at first..." After a brief search, Miroku found the passage he was looking for and read it aloud to Sango, whose brows lifted. "That is how he calmed the pup."

"Well. I suppose that's something Sesshoumaru would find in his power." She frowned slightly. "Not that he really has very much choice," she added.

Miroku nodded slowly. "Now let's just hope he finds her in time for this to make a difference."