InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Of Gods and Monsters ❯ Chapter 50 - CONTINUED ( Chapter 52 )

Chapter 50: As Time Goes By, continued


The roof access door was at the top of a short flight of stairs. She pushed against the heavy bar across the door, shivering slightly when a cold, brisk wind whipped in, blowing back her hair and racing through the thin fabric of her pajama pants. Teles was suddenly reminded that her feet were still bare. She paused there, hesitating, holding the door open, when she saw something that was both exceedingly odd, and yet welcome beyond words.

A lone figure was standing at the railing of the roof, copper curls glossy and untouched by the wind. A bemused frown creasing her forehead, Teles padded out onto the roof. Rather than wearing her usual garb, Aphrodite was clad in a short, black, silk dress, a gauzy wrap around her shoulders. She looked over her shoulder at Teles, smiling faintly at her daughter's puzzlement.

"I was at a party."

Teles blinked once, nodding slowly. "I see."

Aphrodite turned back to regard the sprawling, twinkling cityscape. "It's beautiful at night, isn't it?"

Silent and staring, Teles crossed the roof. Finally shaking herself, she asked, "Mother, what... are you doing here?"

The goddess gave an absent wave of her hand, cloaking the pregnant woman in warmth. "I've come to see you, of course."

She folded her arms over her breasts. "Well, this is quite the coincidence."

A faint smile lit Aphrodite's lips. "Of course it is."

Teles followed her mother's gaze, her eyes taking in Tokyo's lights. After a few moments, she blew out a sigh. "You have to tell him it's insane, Mother. He's got it in his head that I have to return through the well. He's not listening to me."

"That's because you do have to return through the well," the goddess replied calmly.

A frustrated sound formed in the back of her throat as she reached up and pinched the bridge of her nose. "Oh, in Gaia's name, not you too..."

"Teles, who do you think told him it was necessary?"

After a night like tonight, the former goddess wouldn't have thought that there was anything left that could possibly surprise her. She stared at her mother, dumbstruck. After several seconds of this, Teles closed her eyes and blew out a deep sigh. "Mother, I... I cannot leave him again."

The tartness of the reply took her off guard. "You were not supposed to have left him in the first place."

"Oh, I like that," Teles said, her spine straightening. "This coming from the goddess who helped me through in the first place?"

"You were desperate. I was not allowed to interfere beyond that."

"You weren't allow--" The words cut off and dawning comprehension lit the pregnant woman's features. "Of course. The Fates." When her mother made a face and nodded, Teles felt much of the anger drain from her, leaving her feeling tired, spent. "Why did they permit you to intervene at all?"

Aphrodite's slender, creamy shoulders lifted in a shrug. "They did not bother to explain their motives. They rarely do." Her brows drew together in a frown. "Though when they do, it rarely makes sense."

"But Mother," she said in a quiet, urgent tone, "I had to leave. At the time, I didn't know what--"

"And now you do. He drove you away by mistake." Her grey eyes saddened as she shook her head slowly. "He spent five hundred years half-mad with guilt and sorrow and worry. You say you cannot part from him, but can you in good conscience leave him with that weight on his soul?"

Blowing out a deep sigh, Teles rested her elbows on the railing, clasping her hands and resting her forehead against them, eyes closed.

A few moments of silence passed before Aphrodite spoke again. "And every time he fails to convince you to return to the past, the cycle repeats."

The pregnant woman blinked, lifting her head suddenly. "What did you say?"

Regarding Teles levelly, Aphrodite said, "This is a lesson the two of you must learn. Must. Every time either or both of you fail, it repeats."

The words washed over her and she struggled to wrap her mind around what her mother was saying. Every time they failed, the cycle would repeat, she'd said. Not if they were to fail.

They had failed at least once already.

Teles blinked once, staring at the goddess. "Are you saying that... this... isn't the first time we've ... done this?"

"Yes. You refuse, and he is both unable and unwilling to change your mind. He doesn't want you to leave, either. In fact, he desperately wishes for you to stay. He realizes the consequences, but never remembers them when the cycle begins anew."

"When... does the cycle begin anew?" she asked, her mouth dry.

"When you arrive through the well."

"When I..." she shook her head briskly. "But what about Kagome? Inuyasha? What about everyone else?"

"What is a loop for you, Teles, becomes a loop for them. While this is a lesson you must learn, they are not untouched. They don't realize it, of course..."

Teles turned her back on Tokyo's glittering lights, leaning against the wall. Her eyes made out the shadowy shapes of the rooftop garden. Her first time up here -- no, not her first time, apparently-- and she couldn't even see it to appreciate it. She closed her eyes for a long moment. "How many times have we failed?"

The reply was spoken softly. "Eight."

She closed her eyes in a faint grimace. "And eight different times we've had this conversation?"

There was a brief pause and Aphrodite cleared her throat. "No. No, this is the first time we've spoken. I couldn't bear to see you stumble through this again."

"The Fates allowed you to do this?"

Aphrodite gave a sly smile. "Well, they haven't told me I couldn't." At Teles' soft laughter, the goddess' smile grew warmer, her gaze empathetic. "I understand your reluctance to leave. I do. But... your wyrd is not here."

Dragging two tired hands through her hair, Teles exhaled a deep sigh. "I do understand, Mother, but..." She trailed off into silence for several seconds. "...I left him. It was difficult enough, seeing him again when I thought he hated me. But now -- to return after I've erred so grievously?"

Aphrodite turned, leaning against the railing as well, folding her arms. "Tell me, Teles," she said quietly, "are you more afraid of leaving this Sesshoumaru or returning to the one you left behind? Or are you simply too proud to admit that leaving was not the solution to your problems?"

"I've already quite admitted my... miscalculation to this Sesshoumaru. I am... no, I am not afraid. I am... apprehensive."

The goddess calm words struck Teles to her core. "You have not admitted it to that Sesshoumaru. He does not know."

Teles' reply was nearly inaudible. "I miss him terribly."

A soft, warm hand rested on her shoulder, and when the former goddess looked up, she found herself lost in her mother's gaze. "And he misses you." She paused for half a heartbeat. "That whole time misses you. Your absence..."

Bemused, Teles sifted through Sesshoumaru's earlier words. "...He said something about... unintentional consequences. Is that what you mean?"

After a moment, Aphrodite nodded before turning to the side and lifting her hand; a globe of gossamer clouds swirled together. From within, an image appeared, glowing softly, hazy edges giving the scene the impression of memory. Teles saw Rin and Sesshoumaru, a common enough sight in itself, but there was something different -- something wrong about the tableau before her.

Teles had never seen such an expression on the child's face. Rin was glaring at Sesshoumaru, tiny hands fisted by her sides. Angry tears glittered as they fell. Across from her stood the youkai, but his appearance seemed similarly... off. He still stood tall, but there was something brittle about him. He looked as if he were upright thanks only to iron determination. He appeared haggard, tired, drawn.

The young girl finally spoke, and Rin's angry voice cut through the globe of clouds and sent a razor into Teles' heart.

"You made her leave! I hate you! I HATE YOU!"

Sesshoumaru merely closed his eyes against the verbal onslaught. Teles flinched.

Aphrodite spoke as the globe went blank, a mass of white clouds once again. "He sent her away shortly after that, so she could live in the company of those she found more... congenial."

"...But he didn't make me leave," Teles breathed, shaking her head slowly. "I left entirely of my own volition!"

"She's a child," the goddess replied reasonably. "The nuances of the situation were lost on her." Silence reigned for another long moment. "This is what he reminds himself of when his courage wavers. The girl grew up and married, finding some degree of contentment. But she never forgave him completely."

"I see," Teles murmured.

For a moment it appeared as if Aphrodite wasn't sure whether to say any more. "Of course..." she trailed off, hesitating, "your absence had... other repercussions of which he is unaware."

The former goddess' head snapped up at the tone. She looked sharply at her mother. "What 'other' repercussions?"

Aphrodite waved her hand again and the imaged shifted, showing a young man wearing armor similar to Sango's. A frown formed at Teles' forehead as she looked closely at the scene. It occurred to her that as well as the similarity in uniform, the young man also bore a strong facial resemblance to the taiji-ya. As Teles watched, an expression of excruciating pain contorted his face and he fell to his hands and knees, screaming in agony. Suddenly, a glinting something erupted from his back, hovering in mid-air only a moment before flying towards a seething mass of tentacles. The scene shifted momentarily to show Sango leaping between the tentacles and the boy, now collapsed lifelessly on the ground. She released Hiraikotsu with a mighty cry as she sent it flying towards the mass, but that battle cry turned into a scream as the boomerang was swatted away and several tentacles drove through her chest.

Teles felt the air rush from her lungs as she shook her head slowly. "No, no... gods, no..."

But the scene shifted again.

Miroku, bloodied and battered, but far from dead, knelt on the scarred ground, cradling Sango tenderly, her blood soaking into his kesa. He brought his right hand to his mouth and, using his teeth, pulled away the familiar purple gauntlet, revealing to the young woman his healed hand. Blood-stained lips moving slowly, Sango said something that only the monk heard, and he nodded briefly, stroking her bangs back away from her forehead. Her hand was knotted in the material of his sleeve, as if she could cling to life with such a grip. When the slender fingers went slack, Miroku pressed a kiss against Sango's forehead and closed her eyes before burying his face in her hair and rocking her gently, his shoulders shaking with silent sobs.

Teles watched, powerless, as her friend struggled with heartbreak and misery. Her eyes went to his hand, free from its gauntlet, and she remembered his words about the curse that had plagued him. But one look at the mourning houshi told Teles that he would have gladly taken on the curse again if it meant restoring his taiji-ya to him. The tears she'd thought exhausted welled up again, blurring the scene. "What happened?" she managed hoarsely.

"Your little monk and his friends finally triumphed over the demon they had sought to defeat, but not before he managed to extinguish the last of the taiji-ya clan he'd decimated years before. Sesshoumaru would have been there to assist his brother, but..." Aphrodite trailed off with a shrug.

Shaking her head quickly, Teles could not stave off the sudden wave of pain and guilt that swelled in her chest. "No -- no. Why... why wasn't he there? This -- this was more important. He should have been there!"

The globe went blank again. "He'd already sent the girl away," she said softly. "There was... nothing left to tie him to the outside world. And Inuyasha... well. There was too much sorrow and grief between them."

"...But that doesn't seem to be the case now. What happened?"

The goddess' grey eyes focused on the blank globe. "Time passes. Humans die. Things are, as they say, put into perspective."

Teles said nothing for nearly a full minute. "What... how will my return... change things?"

"For one, the girl will not leave. For another, he will be at that battle. And..." here, Aphrodite paused, hesitating again. Teles only gazed steadily at her mother, but after a second or two, the goddess shook her head. "There is more," she added quietly. "But I cannot tell you. It is forbidden."

Teles nodded slowly, her eyes going once again to the globe. She swallowed against the tightness that had built up in her throat. The little monk, mourning his taiji-ya, was burned into her mind alongside Rin's furious dark eyes, shooting through the exhausted youkai. What else had gone wrong after her departure? Who else had she hurt, however inadvertently?

The words tumbled forward before she could bite them back. "I wish to see him."

One dusky red brow arched. "As he is?"

Teles wavered for only a moment before nodding.

"As you wish," Aphrodite murmured, giving a slight wave of her hand.

The swirl of clouds darkened from white to grey to black, as if heavy with the rains of a coming storm. Teles waited patiently, holding her breath, but the image grew no brighter. Darkness filled the globe, so complete, so thick that it seemed like no light could pierce it it.

"...Why is he not there?"

"He is there."

Even as Aphrodite spoke, a faint glow entered the picture, and Teles could make out an achingly familiar profile and the spill of silver hair. A soft, strangled whimper formed in her throat as she stared, stunned, at the image before her. Suddenly his hand lashed out in a blur and the glow was extinguished.

The goddess heaved a sigh. "He keeps doing that."

"Doing what?"

"Knocking over his retainer."

Teles watched the darkness again, trying to pick out the features she'd seen before, but it was no use. "Mother, do you... can you bring back some light?"

A small sphere of light coalesced over the youkai's bowed head, tinting the silver hair with its soft amber glow. Sesshoumaru's head jerked up, his expression furious. Narrowing his eyes, his lip curled back in a snarl, revealing his fangs; slowly, his mouth formed the syllables of the Greek goddess' name. Teles noted that he looked nowhere near as haggard as he had in the earlier tableau, but he did look tired, as if he hadn't been sleeping much.

The sight of him made something in Teles' chest contract, and her hand moved forward as if to touch him stopping suddenly when she remembered that she could not do such a thing.

"I'm sorry, beloved," she breathed, tears thickening her voice.

The Sesshoumaru in the globe pushed himself to his feet, leaning heavily against the wall. The small sphere of light moved with him, and when he stood Teles could see that he was in the library.

'He got rather impatient with me when I refused to come out of the library for several weeks.'

"What..." Teles swallowed hard. "What does he do?"

Blowing out a shallow breath, Aphrodite shook her head, watching the youkai in the globe. "Sits. Contemplates." At that moment, Sesshoumaru staggered out of the picture, beyond the range of the viewing globe. The goddess pursed her lips. "I rather thought he'd do that. He's not happy with me right now," she murmured absently. "He won't be tolerant of my help until..."

The other woman looked up. "Until when?"

The goddess shook her head quickly. "Later." She gave a wave of her hand and the globe dissipated into mist.

"Mother," Teles asked, hugging her arms around herself as if warding off an internal chill, "what will happen to this Sesshoumaru? The... the one in this time? What will happen if I return through the well?"

"He will live the life he was meant to. Once you leave, the instant after you pass through the portal, this time will have already changed. He will have no memory of these weeks you spent with him. Neither will Inuyasha. The... selves they are right now will... cease to exist. They will become something else -- what they were meant to become." When Teles nodded slowly, Aphrodite added, "Sesshoumaru will, at the very least, not suffer under the burden of guilt that he has."

Closing her eyes and exhaling softly, Teles replied, "Then I will return, and hope that he can forgive me my error."

There was a light touch against her cheek, and when Teles opened her eyes, she saw her mother watching her with a gaze far more maternal and tender than she had ever remembered seeing in the goddess before. "He does not believe you to be the one who made the error."

Teles huffed a wry chuckle. "I plan on explaining it to him."

Nodding once, Aphrodite fell silent for a few moments. "I'm sorry you've had to go through all this, daughter," she said, fixing the pregnant woman with a steady gaze.

She shook her head. "It isn't your fault."

"Hmph. I'm aware of that. But," she added, with a tinge of asperity, "you are my daughter. I don't like watching you suffer."

The words brought a smile to Teles' lips. "You know, you really shouldn't say things like that too loudly. Eros may become piqued. And jealous."

Aphrodited snorted, a rather indelicate sound. "He can become piqued and jealous as much as he likes. He knows who the greater power is."

Teles smile widened and she looked again at the cityscape. She would be leaving in two days; this was one of the last times she'd be able to indulge in this sight. "It's funny. I can't remember when I stopped considering Olympus home. I simply... stopped missing it."

"Most likely when you realized you belonged somewhere else," the goddess murmured.

"I belong neither here nor there, but wherever he is." She paused a moment. "Or whenever, as the case may be."

"Precisely."

"Well then. I will..." Teles turned and looked at the door for a moment before giving a soft, wry bark of laughter. "I will return downstairs and... apologize for my outburst." She gave her mother a small half-smile before turning and heading back towards the door.

Aphrodite's smooth voice stopped her. "...Teles."

She turned. "Yes?"

A faint smile tilted up at the corner of Aphrodite's mouth. "You'll always have Paris, Teles. Being here, with him..." she trailed off. "You've recaptured it. And now you must return to him. He needs you."

Teles was quiet for a moment. "You said that when I returned, this Sesshoumaru would cease to be."

"I did."

The question hovered on her lips for a moment. "Will I remember him? Will... I remember my time here?"

Aphrodite smiled. "Teles, I would hardly see you learn from an experience only to take that knowledge away. Yes, you will remember these weeks here. They have helped shape you into what you should be, after all."

"...Very well," she replied, nodding once before returning inside. As she left the rooftop, the warmth she'd been shrouded in dissipated. She descended the stairs carefully, only marginally surprised to meet Sesshoumaru as he was closing Inuyasha's door behind him. When she saw him, her breath caught in her throat; the memory of how he'd appeared in the globe was too fresh in her mind. For a split second, she saw him as he'd appeared. When she blinked the illusion was gone.

"Beloved," she said, a small, apologetic smile forming at her mouth.

Her reaction appeared not to be what he'd been anticipating, and the tiny half-smile at his lips spoke volumes.

Without preamble, Teles reached up, sliding one hand behind his neck and pulling him down for a tender, slow kiss. She could feel his surprise, fleeting though it was, but he relaxed quickly, wrapping his arms around her. As Teles deepened the kiss, she tasted the lingering tang of alcohol against his tongue. She broke the kiss, blinking.

"You've... been drinking?" she asked, unable to conceal her surprise.

The question made him appear slightly sheepish. "A little, yes."

Shaking her head, Teles adopted a tone of mock-exasperation. "Idiotic youkai," she chided. "Did it not occur to you to offer me any?"

The reply came automatically. "It's bad for the pup. Moreover, it's bad for mphh--" in a mere instant, Teles had leaned up, closed her mouth over his and was kissing him firmly. They remained like that for several minutes, each feeling the other's warmth and savoring it.

Teles broke the kiss gently, pulling back a fraction and lifting her hand to his face, fingertips tracing over the magenta stripes along his cheekbone. "I will go," she murmured.

Stilling, Sesshoumaru's eyes widened slightly as he stared at her. "What did you say?"

Pushing forward a brave, if somewhat tremulous smile, Teles shrugged. "I will go. I will not make it any more difficult than it already is for you."

"Thank you."

Sesshoumaru's expression reflected both relief and sadness, and that alone made something prick and bleed inside of her. Blinking rapidly, she reached up, cradling his face in her hands. "I only ask that you allow me the luxury of falling asleep in your arms for another two nights.

Tilting his head against her hands, he closed his eyes, a faint smile touching upon his lips. "Oh, yes. You may certainly have that."

"And you will take me to the well... the day after tomorrow?"

"Yes," he replied, still reveling in the feel of her fingers stroking against his face before turning his head, pressing a kiss against one of her palms, and tugging her hands down. He then put his arms around her, holding her snugly against him, claws dragging slowly through her wind-tangled hair.

Teles remained like that for several seconds, closing her eyes and resting her head against his chest, listening to the soft, rhythmic thumping of his heart. She exhaled a long sigh, relaxing slowly, when something occurred to her. "Beloved?"

"Yes?"

The question was posed quietly. "...What should I tell him-- you when I see you next? What did you most want to hear?"

Sesshoumaru was quiet for a moment, but when he answered the question, it was with definite certainty. "Idiotic youkai." When Teles laughed, a small, rueful smile formed. "I assure you, I'm serious. Of all the things you could say to reassure me that you were still my beloved Teles..."

"What else can I do, beloved?" she asked. "Tell me how else I can reassure you."

He closed his eyes and bowed his head until it rested against hers. "...Just come home."

And when two lovers woo,
They still say, "I love you;"
On that you can rely.
No matter what the future brings,
As time goes by.