InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Of Love & War ❯ Chapter 2 Lost ( Chapter 2 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

When Inuyasha didn't come back after three hours, Kagome has set out to look for him herself. She knew that he would be angry with her for coming after him alone, but she didn't care. He could be seriously injured…maybe dead. After all, he set out after some footsteps, and if a fight had resulted- she didn't want to think about it. The hanyou had never kept her waiting like this before. Well, she thought, except for Kikyo. When she turned up, he often disappeared for hours. But Kikyo was dead…
She searched for a long time, until the sun was up, and the light cast beautiful shadows on the ground of the trees above. She bit back the urge to call out Inuyasha's name, not wanting to draw attention to herself. She wasn't usually afraid, but she did not have her bow and without it she was vulnerable. Her spiritual powers weren't always reliable.
Where is he? She had not found him yet and was getting more worried than she already had been. She turned around, deciding to go back to Lady Kaede's village to fetch Miroku and Sango. Spur of the moment, she chose a different path, deciding to take one last look around herself. She was tired, exhausted even, but her concern for Inuyasha's whereabouts kept it from slowing her down.
It wasn't long before she found him, sprawled on the earth and covered, absolutely saturated with blood. It was all over his face, his body, his arms. It was in his hair and, she could see, under his claws and on his hands… She gasped and ran to him.
"Inuyasha!" she yelled, shaking his shoulder. "Please, wake up!"
Slowly, his eyes opened and he sat up.
"Kagome…?" he said, a look of utmost confusion on his face. "Where are we…? I had the worst dream-""
"What happened to you? Are you okay?" she asked, her voice was panicky. "You're covered in blood!"
Inuyasha looked at himself, and his eyes grew wide. Kagome was sure it was a look of terror.
"…not a dream…" he said, staring down at his claws.
Kagome looked took a closer look at him, and her jaw dropped. Though he was covered in blood, there was not a scratch on him. The blood was not his.
"Inuyasha…" said Kagome, her voice weak, "whose blood is that…?"
But he seemed to have forgotten she was there. Over and over again, he said "not a dream." He was staring at his claws…the look of terror still in his eyes.
"Inuyasha?"
No response.
He was trembling, still saying the same three words repeatedly like a chant. Kagome had never seen him like this. Never. And she was terrified. Anything that could frighten Inuyasha couldn't be good.
The only thing that had frightened Inuyasha, however, was himself. He had hoped that he had dreamed the whole terrible thing. But he had not. The blood was proof. He couldn't bring himself to think of anything else, could barely hear Kagome's voice as she tried to calm him. So much blood…so much…
He could smell water. A stream. And close. He stood up suddenly. "I gotta go," he managed to say, to say before running as fast as he could toward the water. In less than a minute he was there, and he did not pause before diving in. He came up for air, only to dive back down. Several times he did this, but the stench would not come off. He clawed at his body, trying desperately to erase that awful smell, though the actual blood was gone. He scratched at himself until he bled, but even the smell of his own blood did not over-ride the stench of murder. Though gone, he could still feel the flesh under his claws…
Kagome ran to catch up with him, and it took her nearly five minutes. When she found him, he was in the stream, clawing at his skin. She didn't know what to do, he hadn't noticed she was there, and she didn't know how to stop him. Than, he did something that almost made her sick. He began to rip out his claws.
He thought that if he ripped them out, the stench would go away. It hurt, but he didn't care. He ripped out one, then another, a third- Kagome had his hands.
She was standing in the stream, fully clothed, holding his hands apart, with tears in her eyes.
"Inuyasha, stop!" she yelled.
"Let go!" he growled.
She didn't listen. "Please, stop this…"
"I can't get it off…." he said,
"Get what off?" she asked, her voice full of genuine worry. The last time he gotten like this, though not nearly as badly, had been after he had killed some bandits in his demon form. But that couldn't have happened again, thought Kagome. He had his Tetsusiaga.
She could see that he was calming down, she relaxed her grip on his hands slightly. "Inuyasha, what happened?" she asked.
He couldn't tell her…not yet. "Not now," he hadn't meant to say that out loud.
"Why not now?" She asked, an edge to her voice. "I want to know what's going on with you!"
"…Nothing…" he said, and returned to shore.
He sat down on the edge of the stream, staring at his reflection in the water. He slapped it away, still seeing himself covered with blood. What happened to me? He thought. The answer did not come. Than, another horrible thought struck him. What if it happens again? He couldn't bear to think about that…what if next time it was one of his friends…? What if it was Kagome?
There was only one thing to do, only one thing he could do. He had to get Kagome to leave…to go back to her own time and stay there until he understood what was wrong with him. He couldn't put her in danger…he loved her too much for that. And since at the moment, he was the dangerous one, she was in even greater risk.
Kagome knelt beside him and put an arm around his shoulders. Gently she stroked his hair and his ears, and Inuyasha had to fight himself not to fall into her arms and cry.
He stood, and Kagome seemed to waiting for him to offer her his hand. He couldn't do it. His hands were too filthy, too stained with blood. "Let's go," he said.
She rose and fell into step beside him. Neither of them spoke for a while. There was nothing Inuyasha could say to her to make her feel better. He knew he couldn't tell her the truth, because if he did, he would not be able to get her to go home. He knew in his heart that even if he showed her the mutilated bodies and told her what he'd done, she'd stay with him. In her mind, she'd think she could protect him…or save him. Maybe both. The point was, she wouldn't leave him, and in this case, she had to. He had to protect her from himself.
He led her back across the field that he had brought her to the night before. It seemed to be something from another lifetime. Something that happened long ago…much longer than yesterday.
"Inuyasha," said Kagome, "are we going back to the village?"
"Yes," he said.
"Won't you tell me what happened to you?"
"It was…just a fight. Nothing big."
"You don't react like you did over something not big!" Kagome yelled.
"I just overreacted to it, that's all," he lied. The truth was he felt he had under reacted. If it had gone his way, he'd still be in the stream scratching off that sickening stench, and he would have ripped out all ten claws instead of three.
"You can talk to me, you know," said Kagome.
Inuyasha forced himself to smile, and to meet her eyes. "I know," he said.
"You really should just tell me the truth…" she went on. "I could be thinking something worse."
I doubt it, he thought.
"Inuyasha! Please talk to me!" she pleaded.
"I already told you, okay? Don't worry about it anymore."
Kagome grabbed his wrist and pulled him around to face her. "Don't worry about it?" she asked. "You were gone all night! I found you in the woods covered in blood!" she was yelling at him. "You tried to rip your nails out for gods sake! How can you expect me not to worry it?!"
"They're claws," said Inuyasha lightly.
"What?"
"They're claws, not nails," he said, speaking louder in his attempt to lighten her mood.
"I don't give a damn!" yelled Kagome, who wasn't going to let him make light of this. "What if it was me?" her voice softened some. "What if it was me, Inuyasha? Would take 'don't worry about it' for an answer, then?"
He sighed and met her eyes. "No," he told her. "I wouldn't take that. I'd pin you to the ground to make you talk to me if I had too. But this is different. You're not me."
"How is this any different?" Kagome asked.
"It just is, okay!" he yelled.
"It's not! Tell me what happened to you!"
"Forget about it!"
Inuyasha turned and started to walk away from her. He felt something push his back, and caught off guard, he fell to the ground. Before he could stand back up, Kagome was on top of him. She grabbed his shoulder and forcefully turned him over, sitting on his chest with his arms pinned by her knees. Inuyasha was too stunned to try and throw her off of him.
"What the fuck was that for?" he asked.
"I'll hold you here all day if I have to, Inuyasha!" she said. "So you'd better talk to me!"
"Get off of me!" he yelled.
"Talk!"
"Get off!!"
"Not unless you tell me what happened!"
"Get the fuck off of me!"
"No!"
"GET OFF!"
Inuyasha threw her. Not as hard as he could, but harder than he had intended. Kagome flew backward and landed, hard, on her right arm.