InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Once Upon a Snowstorm ❯ Chapter Five ( Chapter 5 )

Quickening: "Ohh, I wish that I was MARY Suuue! I wish that I was MARY Suuue! Why can't I BE a woman like THAT?"

Deedlit: -_-; Catchy. I have never heard Jesse's Girl sung quite like that before…

Quickening: heeeee That's 'cause I'm special. *sparkles*

Desiree: Why the hell would you wanna be Mary Sue, anyway? I thought everybody hated Mary Sue.

Quickening: That's a common misconception. Only the readers hate Mary Sue. All the important people, like every male character whom she deigns to look at, love her to pieces. And sometimes the females, too. She's so indescribably beautiful and unutterably perfect that they have to fall in love with her, even if they're the evil villains bent on the destruction of the universe. It's against the laws of nature to do otherwise.

Desiree: -_-; I'm almost afraid to ask, but…

Quickening: Well, if the villain doesn't fall in love with her then he won't completely change his mind about being evil and swear to never try and destroy the universe again, so long as he can forever follow at her heels and kiss her pretty feet. And then she won't be able to single-handedly save everybody. Which is also against the laws of nature. And besides that, all the realheroes seem to mysteriously turn into drooling, incompetent morons whenever she's around. I think it's because they're all too overcome with lust to function properly anymore. Even if they are gay. Or dead.

Desiree: heh heh. She sounds kinda like us, right Deed? Charming, beautiful, and perfect!

Deedlit: Yup! Just like us!

Quickening: *Sarcastic-like* Yeeaaahhh…except for the fact that you're not charming, beautiful, orperfect. Oh, and nobody loves you…..Hey. What are you doing with those steak knives…?

Chapter Five

He was coming to the realization that Kagome was serious when she'd told him she'd never speak to him again. And, apparently, that meant she wouldn't ever look at him again, either, because it had been at least an hour and she had yet to glance in his direction after her initial breakdown. Even after her sobs had quieted (and he realized he'd be feeling the guilt for those tears for a long time to come), she simply sat there by the fire and said not a word, leaving him with absolutely no idea of how to calm her down again.

In the meantime, he was dealing with another worry. A good deal of time had passed since they'd first entered the hunter's cave-an entire night, at the least-and Inuyasha had probably come back from Kagome's time long already and was no doubt out searching the area for any sign of her. And possibly him, as well. If he should happen to catch a whiff of their scent and track it to their little dwelling at this point in time...

Miroku shuddered, not wishing to finish the thought. Inuyasha wouldn't even need to use his nose to figure out what had gone on in there. All he'd have to do was look at them and realize that innocent little Kagome wasn't so innocent anymore. And one look at her pale and tearstained face-as though she hadn't enjoyed Miroku's attentions at all-would no doubt send him straight for the monk's throat in the blink of an eye. No questions asked.

Miroku sighed and rubbed his temple with his gloved hand. He had a migraine the size of a small mountain, on top of the heaping boat-load of guilt that Kagome's accusations had invariably dumped on him. He decided that if he managed to get out of this situation relatively unscathed-with the possible addition of Kagome not hating his guts forevermore, if that wasn't too much to ask-he'd never so much as look at another female for as long as he lived.

Maybe.

Possibly.

Although he wasn't about to stake his life on that promise or anything…

"Miroku…san?"

Miroku winced at the sound of her strained voice. And…"san"? What had happened to just "Miroku"? Or even "Miroku-sama"? Not that he thought he deserved any respect out of her, of course, but…but…san was so…so impersonal. As if they hadn't just shared what had been one of the most beautiful nights of…well, of his life, anyway. And until now, he'd been nearly certain that it had been one of hers as well. How could she be so cold, he thought somewhat angrily. It wasn't fair. It wasn't as though he'd actually forced her! She'd given in of her own accord (although not without a good deal of coaxing on his part, his guilty conscience reminded him snidely)!

And besides that, he found that he still hungered for her, burned for her in a way that he'd never felt for any other woman, no matter how beautiful or rich or…skilled they were. Kagome had been his friend…and he had to admit that until last night he'd never really looked at her as a potential lover before. He'd still half-considered her to be a child, as naïve as she appeared sometimes. All his flirting and teasing had been only that, even when he groped her. And when he'd…proven his point, even then he had been merely playing. In truth, he had been shocked at the longing that suddenly flared inside him at the first contact of their lips. And when she'd finally relinquished her resistance and kissed him back…he'd been completely lost in her taste and had finally realized just how much he actually needed her.

And now, just because he couldn't…"keep his dick in his pants" as Kagome had so eloquently put it, he might have ruined any feelings of friendship-and potentially more-that Kagome may have harbored for him.

Yes, he was very aware that she did have feelings for Inuyasha, but it wasn't like the hanyou-being the stupid dolt that he was-actually returned them or anything. Or…at least he wouldn't admit to returning them, what with him being as mixed up over that walking sack of dirt as he was. But nevertheless, being part dog, Inuyasha did have a certain amount of protective (leaning toward obsessive) instincts toward Kagome's well-being, and he would not hesitate to castrate Miroku when he found out what the monk had done to her.

Miroku suddenly realized that Kagome was still waiting for him to acknowledge her, and he shook himself from his wandering thoughts to reply with a soft, "Yes, Kagome?" He thought he saw her wince, but he couldn't bring himself to add the honorific onto her name. Not now, not after everything he had shared with her. He knew her now, too intimately to keep such a respectful distance, no matter how much she might wish otherwise. She would forever now be simply "Kagome" to him.

At least…so long as he wasn't anywhere within Inuyasha's range of hearing…

"I…want to go back. To the well. I need to go home for a few days," Kagome was saying softly.

Miroku's eyes softened in understanding, and he dared to approach her and lay his hand on her head, stroking over her hair soothingly. "I'll take you there," he promised.

She closed her eyes. "Before Inuyasha…finds out," she added in a strained whisper.

His heart sank into his feet. "He won't blame you," he replied. "I won't let him blame you." Even if it kills me…

"Not out loud, he won't. But inside he'll probably always wonder if…" She shook her head. "Just take me to the well."

"It's still snowing outside," he reminded her.

"It's daylight now." As the light streaming in around the edges of the makeshift door proved. "You said we weren't far away from the village. You can find it, right?"

"Yes," he sighed. "If you insist on leaving now…"

"I insist." And with that, she stood and gathered her rumpled clothes, moving behind him to dress.

Miroku hung his head and sighed again, before gathering what was left of his own garments. His pants were a lost cause, of course. The outer robe had managed to remain mostly unscathed. But his inner robe was…well, to say it was in need of a good washing was an understatement. Aside from the dirt that had collected after having been dragged repeatedly across the rather rough floor (not to mention from their physical exertions on top of it), it was wrinkled beyond hope and the seams around the arms had been ripped (he tried not to think of when that had happened). He was almost loathe to put it on again, except he probably wasn't in any better shape, and he resolved to take a dip in the nearest river-no matter how freezing cold it was-before returning anywhere near the village. Otherwise, Inuyasha would probably be able to smell him coming from a mile off, and…well…goodbye, life. It was nice having you.

After he finished dressing, he turned to find Kagome waiting for him, her gaze glued to the floor, and he wished more than ever that he could take the despondent look from her eyes. But at the moment, comfort from him was obviously the last thing she wanted, so all he could do was sigh and gesture for her to follow him.

The trip to the well was a hurried affair. Miroku could practically feel Inuyasha breathing down his neck during the entire journey, and more than once he nearly jumped out of his own skin when an overhead tree branch-overly-burdened with its heavy load of ice-suddenly cracked in the silence of the forest. In truth, the woodland was absolutely beautiful, all coated with ice and glittering like crystal in the morning sunlight. It was nearly blinding to look upon, so brightly did it glow. A few snowflakes continued to drift lazily from the clear sky, and the frigid air was so pure and fresh that it nearly crackled as they passed. But the two travelers were too absorbed in their own brooding thoughts to pay nature's beauty any mind.

Finally, the ancient, wooden well came into sight, glittering as brightly as the rest of the world with its own layer of ice, and Kagome breathed an audible sigh of relief and quickened her pace, prepared to dive headfirst into it, so eager was she to get away. But a strong hand on her arm stopped her, and she turned in surprise to see Miroku's dark, concerned eyes staring down at her. "Kagome," he began softly, stilling her protests in her throat. "If…if it turns out that…you have conceived…"

He broke off when she jerked her arm from his grasp and turned away with a shiver. Then she swallowed, hard, and slowly turned her head to meet his eyes. "I suppose you're overjoyed now, huh?" she whispered hoarsely. At his questioning look, she managed a wan smile. "You just might get that son you're always begging for, after all."

"Kagome," he breathed in surprise, jaw dropping slightly. "Is that what…did you think I…that I deliberately set out to impregnate you?! Is that all you think last night was to me?" She didn't answer, but by the way her muscles clenched, and the way she dropped her gaze from his, he knew that was exactly what she thought. He valiantly fought back a wave of unreasonable anger. After all…it wasn't her fault. Not really. It wasn't as though he was the most honorable of men, after all, and they both knew it. "It wasn't like that," he said urgently. "I would never…it was as much a shock to me as it was to you, what happened between us last night." Even he didn't believe those words, and he knew they were the absolute truth. How could he expect her to believe them? But still…it didn't keep him from trying. "I never intended to let things go so far but…but…I couldn't help myself. When we…when you…"

He could say no more, as his pride rose up and slammed the door between his thoughts and his mouth. Years of self-preservation kicked in before he could make a complete fool of himself and confess to her what he thought might possibly be the one emotion he'd spent all those years deliberately trying to escape. After all…what did a dying monk have to offer someone like her, anyway?

"So much for good intentions, huh?" Kagome's bitter response was like a slap in the face, and once again, he felt himself being swamped by more guilt. Dammit, he wasn't used to feeling like this after one of his trysts! That alone was enough to warn him that Kagome really wasn't like any other woman he'd known before. But he couldn't let her go believing the worst of him. Who knew if she'd ever come back again? So he gripped her hand again and held it to his heart, trying to convey with his eyes his utmost sincerity. "If the…worst happens, and you bear me a son, I will not leave you to raise him alone," he told her earnestly. "I'll help you as much as I am able."

"What if I bear you a daughter instead?" she asked snidely.

"Then I'll help you to raise her as much as I am able, as well," he replied without a moment's hesitation. "I promise."

And for just a moment, her eyes softened and the sadness and worry seemed to lift from her shoulders, and he was all set to pull her into his arms again and offer her the comfort that she hadn't seemed to want. But then, the moment was gone and she was roughly shaking his grip free from her hand and telling him in a voice utterly devoid of emotion, "Don't make any promises that you won't keep."

And then, as he stood reeling in stunned silence, she turned away, and there was a flash of light from the well, and then she was gone.

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Quickening: Wheeeee! *dances around and sings* Cliffies! Cliffies! Gotta love the Cliffies!

Desiree: You are just begging to be brutally murdered by frustrated readers, aren't you?

Quickening: Of course. Where's the fun in it otherwise?