InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ One Shots ❯ The Ruin ( One-Shot )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: White Luna 
"Two souls so familiar with loss and loneliness come together to find solace when their love has become no more."
[Rin/Inu]
Angst/Songfic
Rated X. (Not suitable for under 18. Contained extreme adult themes/graphic violence.)
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Drama | Type: One Shot | Uploaded On: 02.05.2008 | Pages: 4 | Words: 2.3K | Visits: 572 | Status: Completed
"Two souls so familiar with loss and loneliness come together to find solace when their love has become no more."
[Rin/Inu]
Angst/Songfic
Rated X. (Not suitable for under 18. Contained extreme adult themes/graphic violence.)
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Drama | Type: One Shot | Uploaded On: 02.05.2008 | Pages: 4 | Words: 2.3K | Visits: 572 | Status: Completed
A/n: I had this crazy thought. In involved one Rin, and one Inuyasha. Then it involved a song... I just couldn't find the right song to fit my whacky, crazy idea. So I went on this search. It was there, in the back of my mind. And I found it. Whatcha know? It was perfect. So, in the way of an angsty oneshot/songfic, I give you my latest creation. Kukuku.
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha, as Takahashi Rumiko does. And that's perfectly fine, because I love what she did so much I hail her with all worship for giving me such wonderfully created characters to play with. And the song "Cardiff" is performed by the very talented Stonesour, and I have no claims to that either.
Update: Excuse me. I'm an ass for not rereading it thoroughly... damn typos... That's what I get for rushing. Can't be helped...
this stoic mood is all in vain..."
She rode me quietly as I buried my face deeply into her bosom and imagined she was that someone else...
Sapphire eyes.
...Sapphire eyes that would flash through my mind, reminding me of endless night skies and falling stars that held nothing but broken promises.
The only thing that brought me slightly from that haze, from that place so deep in my mind I thought I was unreachable... were the tears I felt fall, cold and forgotten upon my searing flesh.
...she burned me up inside.
She burned me alive.
"I reach into the dark
I tear the sun and me apart."
But, always, always... I would fall back into the depths of myself.
Her soft whimpers were lost to me, and I am sure she did the same. She would whisper his name every so often, betraying the fact I was not the one she wanted.
But she knew the truth.
She knew the sentiment was reciprocated.
And while I may try, while I may try to blame her for this addiction, for this seemingly catatonic relationship that brought out the very worst and very best of me... I knew the only one to blame was truly me.
"How many years ago?
How many deaths I can't let go..."
I had taken her with me.
...We had both stood, the last ones remaining amongst the battle that damaged us permanently.
She had merely been thirteen.
And I remember, looking at her, looking at that shattered face as she stared down at Sesshomaru....
...She had seemed so lost.
And I was immediately struck by the thought of Kagome.
...The broken innocence that laid no more than an arm's reach away from my feet.
...Eyes glassy...
...Gone.
She looked to me, I remember, as if she were pleading me to fix everything. But try as I might, I was helpless to it.
We had been so lucky to live.
And it had become our hell to have survived it...
"My flesh is temporary,
my God extraordinary..."
I never had cried, in the beginning.
I simply held out my hand to the girl.
She looked at me with those shining, world-weary eyes and took what I offered.
We had both become souls, once against lost and alone.
Something we both could relate.
...Lost love, withering us from the inside.
Our eternal destruction.
The catalyst for our eventual self-mutilation...
It had been our downfall.
And this twisted fate we let ourselves fall into originally was my fault.
...it began with her sweet smile...
And it had been one more reminder of what I had lost far too many...
She had still been so young... sixteen, maybe, but I had lost such track of time I no longer knew the difference.
When she gave me that tender look, so full of affection and trust... that only one person before had done, I felt myself crack.
....I took her that time, kissed her in the way I had always longed to fill Kagome with.
That fire.
I had done everything I only dreamed of having with Kagome to her.
...And she succumbed to my misplaced desires, far easier than I could have ever guessed.
...far easier than I ever wanted...
"You can't kill my mind."
I remember crying after I had spent myself, lying on top of her slender body...
...so slight, so fragile...
And I wept bitterly for all that I had lost.
She didn't even attempt to console me.
...for she cried the same way.
"A man delivered
can never make his way in darkness."
It didn't take long after that for me to submerge myself inside a world full of her and I.
...It was like the beginning of the end, like a rapture come to claim my soul.
I had become resolute to make her my atonement.
Instead, she became my enslavement.
"I know tonight will end
But I won't give this life away again."
We would pretend.
We wouldn't speak of it, but would find our way to one another in cover of night. Years spent trying to hide, to cover and swallow out the pain of the past.
Repeatedly, no matter how hard I would try and fight it. No matter how hard I would dig my claws into my palms, trying to drown out the itch with the blood. No matter how hard I would bite into my lip, beg myself to not desecrate Kagome's memory by making someone else into her, but Kami...
I could not stop myself.
And even if I tried...
...she would reach out for me, ever so timidly...
"Sifting through the seen debris,
oh my father call to me..."
I would try to replace my recollections. Try to sort myself out.
Somehow, make myself me.
But all the pieces would come unstitched, undone the minute her delicate fingertips sought for me....
And I would come falling apart at the seams.
"This smoke is in my blood,
this soul is just no good."
I could not remind myself of who I was.
I think I had forgotten long ago what that meant to me.
The person Kagome had lead me to believe I had become...
...I felt she had misplaced faith in me all along.
"Save me from my bitterness,
give me up I did my best."
Now, would she forgive me, if she were to see me now?
...That supple body pressed so intimately against me, as I shut my eyes to drown out the reality and focus only on what I wanted it to be.
I would entertain fantasies of her gentle caresses, telling me she knew I was sorry.
That I didn't have to endure this guilt any longer...
I had tried so hard.
In the end...
...I wasn't good enough.
"Chalk this system full of shit,
lock this fucker lost in the end."
I was torn between that I held in my arms and the memory of what once was.
The soft woman who clung to me gravely, no doubt trying to replay in her mind the images of the man she loved so deeply.
That man... was not me.
And I felt jealous at times that she thought of another when it was me who was underneath her, giving her the solace her soul called out for so desperately.
I was the one who numbed her pain.
I wanted to make her see me, for me to be the name she said repeatedly...
But I could never touch that place inside her.
...I was always locked out.
"You can't kill my mind."
When we laid together, one time, I remember her turning to look at me. Her eyes, winter by dark and summer by light... froze me with their undying hatred.
She did blame me, for being unable to reverse what had come to pass.
She felt I had not even tried to change things.
If she had known how I felt, she never would have thought that.
...but as it was, she believed I only used her for her body.
...which, in a way, I was.
But no differently than she used me.
"A man delievered
can never make his way through darkness."
So here we were, now, replaying our endless mistake.
I captured her breast in my teeth, suckling hard and fast.
...as if trying to feed from her, to make her give up a little more of herself to me.
I felt her hands strain in my hair, pulling back, as if unwilling to give any more than she already had. But I was determined to take her, to take all of her, as she had taken me.
Shard by shard, little bits of myself.
To make me into what she wanted me to be.
"I know tonight will end
but I won't give this life away again."
I was more than willing to return the favor.
To take her heart and make it my own.
"A man surrendered
can never find his own forgiveness."
I grabbed hold of her, digging my claws into her luscious backside and drew her further against me.
I was loosing myself to her again...
Drinking up what she poured out, releasing all I had pent up inside me and giving it all for her to bare.
...my burden.
"I know my life with end,
but I won't give tonight away again."
She shouted out, in either pain or pleasure I could not be sure, but I readily broke into her without warrant. She met my thrusts with earnest, coming down upon me with a fervent passion I never understood in her hatred of me.
...In my hatred for her...
...In my hatred for me.
...In our mutual, unwanted love for one another.
"This fluid feels like pain
this ruin feels like rain."
I could feel my damnation coming down upon me.
I could feel my redemption coming down upon me.
"I reach into the past
my future's fading fast."
In the place behind my eyes, Kagome turned to me... her raven hair dancing softly in the breeze... jeweled eyes focused upon me... and she was flushed to see me.
...She smiled.
She told me...
...she wanted to stay by my side.
...she'd always be with me.
I felt an overwhelming need to touch her... and I reached for her... tried to go where she had gone...
And I felt myself build my own prison in her mortal love just that much more.
"How many years ago?
How many I let go..."
I had become timeless in her memory.
I would live immortal in her scent.
I would join her in the nirvana of my soul, and seek enlightenment in her forgiveness.
In her eternal forgiveness.
"My flesh is all I have
my face is happenstance..."
I released myself into that entrapment I made.
...My own permanent cage made of velvet skin and gentle curves that laid inside my arms, draped across my chest and breathing fast.
"This smoke is in my blood..."
And I felt something inside me sink further away from the reality of what truly had come to be.
"This life is not enough...
...Kagome...
...This life is not enough."
The only truth for me.
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha, as Takahashi Rumiko does. And that's perfectly fine, because I love what she did so much I hail her with all worship for giving me such wonderfully created characters to play with. And the song "Cardiff" is performed by the very talented Stonesour, and I have no claims to that either.
Update: Excuse me. I'm an ass for not rereading it thoroughly... damn typos... That's what I get for rushing. Can't be helped...
The Ruin
by: White Luna
"This fluid feels like painby: White Luna
this stoic mood is all in vain..."
She rode me quietly as I buried my face deeply into her bosom and imagined she was that someone else...
Sapphire eyes.
...Sapphire eyes that would flash through my mind, reminding me of endless night skies and falling stars that held nothing but broken promises.
The only thing that brought me slightly from that haze, from that place so deep in my mind I thought I was unreachable... were the tears I felt fall, cold and forgotten upon my searing flesh.
...she burned me up inside.
She burned me alive.
"I reach into the dark
I tear the sun and me apart."
But, always, always... I would fall back into the depths of myself.
Her soft whimpers were lost to me, and I am sure she did the same. She would whisper his name every so often, betraying the fact I was not the one she wanted.
But she knew the truth.
She knew the sentiment was reciprocated.
And while I may try, while I may try to blame her for this addiction, for this seemingly catatonic relationship that brought out the very worst and very best of me... I knew the only one to blame was truly me.
"How many years ago?
How many deaths I can't let go..."
I had taken her with me.
...We had both stood, the last ones remaining amongst the battle that damaged us permanently.
She had merely been thirteen.
And I remember, looking at her, looking at that shattered face as she stared down at Sesshomaru....
...She had seemed so lost.
And I was immediately struck by the thought of Kagome.
...The broken innocence that laid no more than an arm's reach away from my feet.
...Eyes glassy...
...Gone.
She looked to me, I remember, as if she were pleading me to fix everything. But try as I might, I was helpless to it.
We had been so lucky to live.
And it had become our hell to have survived it...
"My flesh is temporary,
my God extraordinary..."
I never had cried, in the beginning.
I simply held out my hand to the girl.
She looked at me with those shining, world-weary eyes and took what I offered.
We had both become souls, once against lost and alone.
Something we both could relate.
...Lost love, withering us from the inside.
Our eternal destruction.
The catalyst for our eventual self-mutilation...
It had been our downfall.
And this twisted fate we let ourselves fall into originally was my fault.
...it began with her sweet smile...
And it had been one more reminder of what I had lost far too many...
She had still been so young... sixteen, maybe, but I had lost such track of time I no longer knew the difference.
When she gave me that tender look, so full of affection and trust... that only one person before had done, I felt myself crack.
....I took her that time, kissed her in the way I had always longed to fill Kagome with.
That fire.
I had done everything I only dreamed of having with Kagome to her.
...And she succumbed to my misplaced desires, far easier than I could have ever guessed.
...far easier than I ever wanted...
"You can't kill my mind."
I remember crying after I had spent myself, lying on top of her slender body...
...so slight, so fragile...
And I wept bitterly for all that I had lost.
She didn't even attempt to console me.
...for she cried the same way.
"A man delivered
can never make his way in darkness."
It didn't take long after that for me to submerge myself inside a world full of her and I.
...It was like the beginning of the end, like a rapture come to claim my soul.
I had become resolute to make her my atonement.
Instead, she became my enslavement.
"I know tonight will end
But I won't give this life away again."
We would pretend.
We wouldn't speak of it, but would find our way to one another in cover of night. Years spent trying to hide, to cover and swallow out the pain of the past.
Repeatedly, no matter how hard I would try and fight it. No matter how hard I would dig my claws into my palms, trying to drown out the itch with the blood. No matter how hard I would bite into my lip, beg myself to not desecrate Kagome's memory by making someone else into her, but Kami...
I could not stop myself.
And even if I tried...
...she would reach out for me, ever so timidly...
"Sifting through the seen debris,
oh my father call to me..."
I would try to replace my recollections. Try to sort myself out.
Somehow, make myself me.
But all the pieces would come unstitched, undone the minute her delicate fingertips sought for me....
And I would come falling apart at the seams.
"This smoke is in my blood,
this soul is just no good."
I could not remind myself of who I was.
I think I had forgotten long ago what that meant to me.
The person Kagome had lead me to believe I had become...
...I felt she had misplaced faith in me all along.
"Save me from my bitterness,
give me up I did my best."
Now, would she forgive me, if she were to see me now?
...That supple body pressed so intimately against me, as I shut my eyes to drown out the reality and focus only on what I wanted it to be.
I would entertain fantasies of her gentle caresses, telling me she knew I was sorry.
That I didn't have to endure this guilt any longer...
I had tried so hard.
In the end...
...I wasn't good enough.
"Chalk this system full of shit,
lock this fucker lost in the end."
I was torn between that I held in my arms and the memory of what once was.
The soft woman who clung to me gravely, no doubt trying to replay in her mind the images of the man she loved so deeply.
That man... was not me.
And I felt jealous at times that she thought of another when it was me who was underneath her, giving her the solace her soul called out for so desperately.
I was the one who numbed her pain.
I wanted to make her see me, for me to be the name she said repeatedly...
But I could never touch that place inside her.
...I was always locked out.
"You can't kill my mind."
When we laid together, one time, I remember her turning to look at me. Her eyes, winter by dark and summer by light... froze me with their undying hatred.
She did blame me, for being unable to reverse what had come to pass.
She felt I had not even tried to change things.
If she had known how I felt, she never would have thought that.
...but as it was, she believed I only used her for her body.
...which, in a way, I was.
But no differently than she used me.
"A man delievered
can never make his way through darkness."
So here we were, now, replaying our endless mistake.
I captured her breast in my teeth, suckling hard and fast.
...as if trying to feed from her, to make her give up a little more of herself to me.
I felt her hands strain in my hair, pulling back, as if unwilling to give any more than she already had. But I was determined to take her, to take all of her, as she had taken me.
Shard by shard, little bits of myself.
To make me into what she wanted me to be.
"I know tonight will end
but I won't give this life away again."
I was more than willing to return the favor.
To take her heart and make it my own.
"A man surrendered
can never find his own forgiveness."
I grabbed hold of her, digging my claws into her luscious backside and drew her further against me.
I was loosing myself to her again...
Drinking up what she poured out, releasing all I had pent up inside me and giving it all for her to bare.
...my burden.
"I know my life with end,
but I won't give tonight away again."
She shouted out, in either pain or pleasure I could not be sure, but I readily broke into her without warrant. She met my thrusts with earnest, coming down upon me with a fervent passion I never understood in her hatred of me.
...In my hatred for her...
...In my hatred for me.
...In our mutual, unwanted love for one another.
"This fluid feels like pain
this ruin feels like rain."
I could feel my damnation coming down upon me.
I could feel my redemption coming down upon me.
"I reach into the past
my future's fading fast."
In the place behind my eyes, Kagome turned to me... her raven hair dancing softly in the breeze... jeweled eyes focused upon me... and she was flushed to see me.
...She smiled.
She told me...
...she wanted to stay by my side.
...she'd always be with me.
I felt an overwhelming need to touch her... and I reached for her... tried to go where she had gone...
And I felt myself build my own prison in her mortal love just that much more.
"How many years ago?
How many I let go..."
I had become timeless in her memory.
I would live immortal in her scent.
I would join her in the nirvana of my soul, and seek enlightenment in her forgiveness.
In her eternal forgiveness.
"My flesh is all I have
my face is happenstance..."
I released myself into that entrapment I made.
...My own permanent cage made of velvet skin and gentle curves that laid inside my arms, draped across my chest and breathing fast.
"This smoke is in my blood..."
And I felt something inside me sink further away from the reality of what truly had come to be.
"This life is not enough...
...Kagome...
...This life is not enough."
The only truth for me.