InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Our Love Affair ❯ Loss of Control ( Chapter 9 )

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha, Rumiko Takahashi does.

Our Love Affair

Chapter 9: Loss of Control

By Cataluna

Kagome let out a soft sigh and shook her head, strands of hair falling from her hair tie and gliding lightly across her cheeks. Rolling her eyes, her lower lip jutted slightly outward as she manipulated a burst of air from her mouth to blow her hair out of the way. The action proved only to be a temporary relief as each one of the irritable strands quickly reclaimed their stations - once again teasing at the spot right under her brows and along her jaw line, enticing her to give in to the itch and scratch.

The shrill whistling sound of the kettle distracted her from her current predicament, Kagome quickly removed the rubber gloves from her hand and lifted the kettle off the stove. She then took two matching, floral-print mugs from the cabinet, and carefully poured the boiled water into each. The sudden noise coming from the television set prompted her to glance at the figure lounging lazily in her living room, his dark grey suit a stark contrast against the white of her leather sofa.

His arm was draped casually over the back of the seat and the buttons on his crisp, black shirt had been undone at the top to reveal the line of his throat and the top of his chest. Inuyasha looked entirely too comfortable and it seemed as though he had declared her furniture to be a part of his possession. That, of course, aggravated her to no end.

Yet, Inuyasha was inside her apartment, when he shouldn't have set one foot on her blue-carpeted floor in the first place. She would like to say that he had forced his way past the door, but that would be a blatant lie - one she couldn't bring herself to believe. The speed at which she had adjusted to having him inside the confine of her living space was alarming, shocking even.

Awkwardness, discomfort were what she had expected, but the emotion inside was akin to the exact opposite. Since when had she begun to feel at ease around him, the guy who'd succeeded in driving her to the brink of insanity? The undeniable tension between them was still there - stronger than ever - but it was as if her body had subconsciously adjusted to his proximity. It was almost natural. "Too natural," Kagome mumbled quietly to herself as she carefully balanced the steaming cups of tea in each hand.

"Need some help?" his voice came so suddenly and richly from behind her that she jumped. Her surprised shriek swiftly turned into a loud hiss when the water from one of the mugs spilled over the edge and onto the vulnerability of her skin. "Shit. Fucking shit," Kagome heard him swear darkly as he quickly removed the ceramic mugs from her hands before they could shatter on her kitchen tiles. He then set them carefully on the counter and gently held her hands in his, inspecting her reddening skin. Her face twisted into a tight grimace in a fruitless attempt to hide her pain as she watched him curiously, a rumbling noise coming from the back of his throat to show his disapproval.

"Stupid girl," he scolded softly even though he had been the one responsible for causing the spill. Kagome smiled. The words that fell from his lips were a complete contradiction to the tone of his voice. He sounded so gentle as though he was saying something entirely different, something affectionate. `He cares,' she realized with a start, `He really does care…' Her revelation made her pulse race, so much to the point that she was worried he might hear.

Clearing her throat, she tried to joke to relieve the thick silence, "How bad is it, Doctor? Think I'll be able to play the violin after this?"

"I didn't know you play the violin," Inuyasha replied seriously, his thick brows furrowing into one as he lifted her hand closed to his mouth - as if to kiss it. `W-what are you trying to do?' she wondered apprehensively to herself, working to get a lump past her throat. Kagome couldn't help but shiver as he blew lightly across her ridge of knuckles, the fresh pain momentarily forgotten by his tenderness. Laughing stiffly, she took a tactful step back. "I was joking. You haven't heard that joke before? It's like the oldest one in the book."

"Nope," Inuyasha answered while leading her to the kitchen sink, "I like lewd, perverted jokes better." He turned on the faucet and led her in front of him so that he could wrap his arms around her. Resting his chin lightly on her shoulder, he moved her hand under the run of cool water, "Wanna hear one?" he asked in a voice so suggestive that she immediately felt her face grow hotter. She was more than thankful that her back was turned toward him and those annoying tendrils of hair had once again fallen from her bun to partially shield the shy, flustered girl he had reduced her into.

"No thank you. I hear enough from my brother and his friends whenever they come over so I don't need to hear anymore from you. Beside, I'm sure there isn't one I haven't heard," she found her voice in spite of his ever distracting presence and the wild fluttering in her stomach. Needing to clear her head, she took a deep breath and found it to be mistake for she was instantly filled with the spicy scent of his cologne that only served as a reminder of her attraction to him.

Out to make her life hell, he pressed harder into her, until she could clearly detect each button of his shirt, making it hard for her to focus on anything except the undeniable fact that he was composed entirely of hard muscles. She closed her eyes, subconsciously allowing him to support some, if not most of her weight as her knees weakened.

Damn it, and he was warm, so warm that she could feel his heat sinking easily inside her, bringing to attention to the fact that only a thin layer of clothing separated them. I wonder… An image so vivid and forbidden appeared abruptly before her that her eyes flew open in shock, her lungs taking in one sharp breath. She began to struggle against him, her body nearly trembling as she silently cursed at what her delusional mind was capable of at the most inconvenient moment. He released her almost immediately, spinning her around to face him as he shut off the faucet. Her eyes large with fear, she could not bring herself to look away as one thought refused to banish from her mind.

Inside me…to have him inside me…

Guilt filled her to the brim, like it had done so many times in the past. The image was not a stranger to her, but it was stronger and more sensual than before, probably due to the fact that he was standing right behind her. Kagome wondered what she would have to do to stop this - the impure thoughts she was having for her fiancé's brother. `I don't know, maybe stay away from him?' she quietly answered her own question with dripping sarcasm. She hated this - the going back and forth between her decisions, the flip-flopping of her emotions. It was like a part of her was refusing to give up on him, no matter how much of a jerk she believed him to be-

"Better?" he asked, his deep voice bringing her out of her stupor.

Confused, she blinked several times before nodding, grasping what he was referring to. It was still a bit tender but was no longer the burning sting it had been at the start. "Thank you," she added. His hand still cradled hers even after her assurance, and she had to politely pull herself away. "You should go."

Inuyasha cracked a smile, clearly amused by her request. "Oh, should I?"

"Yes. It's getting late."

"Oh, is it?

Kagome was getting sick of the way he was responding to everything she said with a question, especially since she knew it was dangerous to have him stay here any longer. "Please leave-"

"You're nervous," he said as a statement, his golden eyes shining with a predatory glint. She half-expected him to circle her the way a lion would.

"And you're a pig," Kagome shot back, willing her eyes to look as threatening as possible.

The response she received was not what she had expected. Loud, unrestricted laughter vibrated through the space of her kitchen and probably a few blocks away. Patiently, Kagome waited for quiet to return as her face flushed with anger, her arms tight across her chest to pin down her fists.

Inuyasha finally stopped, finishing off with one final chuckle as he dared to look directly at her, grinning. "That was cute, real cute."

If the mugs hadn't been out of reach, she would have wiped that smirk away with the hot splash of tea. Without a word, she stalked over to her living from and dropped down on her favorite armchair, leaving him standing alone in her kitchen. She randomly selected a magazine from her coffee table, and flipped noisily through the pages.

"Aww…come on, you're not really mad, are you" Inuyasha asked, stretching his frame out on the seat closest to her.

Kagome wanted to tell him to leave but by doing so was the same as admitting defeat that he had gotten to her. So she did the next best thing and what she would consider her greatest weapon; she ignored him by focusing all her attention on her reading material. It was harder than she thought for she was painfully aware of his every movement right down to his breathing. She thought she had triumphed when she heard the shift of his clothing and the release of his weight from her sofa, but that quickly dissentitated when he knelt in front of her.

Still, she refused to meet his eyes until he rested his hands on her knees, drawing a surprised squeak from her mouth when she looked at him. Oh my… Inuyasha, the moodiest, most ill-tempered man she knew was making weird faces at her. At first, she tried to resist but soon felt her mouth twitched into an unwarranted smile at the continued sight of his beautiful eyes drawn to the center of his face and his sculpted face inflated to resemble a balloon.

Kagome laughed and poked one side of his cheek, shrinking it. How could she not when he was deliberately poking fun at himself just to make her laugh? "You goofball," she chided with a tenderness that did not go unnoticed by him. It was as though Inuyasha was deliberately revealing his true self to her, layer by layer. And she couldn't help but feel that she was the only one that he had shown it to.

His face returned to normal with a comical "poof" that drew another giggle from her. It had been a while since she had laughed so freely. He made her feel younger than she had in months despite the fact that she was only in her twenties. The responsibility and the power she had acquired from her grandfather added to the stress of her abrupt engagement to a man she barely knew had forced a further maturing in her. So concerned with upholding her image and gaining respect, there had been a constraint in the way she talked, the way she presented herself. It came to the point where she couldn't shake herself of her public image even when she was at home alone.

Until now.

Shaking her head to release herself from the thought, Kagome saw that his eyes were still on her, but no longer filled with the mirth she had witnessed a moment ago. Recognizing the hunger in his eyes almost immediately, she suddenly felt like a small bird in front of a preying snake. The hands on her knees flexed, testing the softness of her skin before moving together to rest on her thighs, pulling a soft cry from her lips.

"Goofball, huh?" Inuyasha asked with a sly grin, his voice dropping a few octaves lower. Kagome nodded, the familiar rush of desire once again settling in her stomach. But it was gone in an instant when his fingers tickled her sides, drawing loud, choppy laughter from her as she squirmed wildly against his assault.

"S-stop," Kagome gasped, grabbing at his hands to hold them still. She had always been overly ticklish and now he had found one of her greatest weaknesses. "I-I'm going to pee in my p-pants!"

"Hey, it's your perfectly, white armchair, not mine," Inuyasha answered with total indifference as he leaned down, putting his shoulder against her stomach before moving his hand to the back of her thighs. One minute she was laughing and struggling uncontrollably but safely in her seat, the next, she was flung over his broad shoulder, hoping and praying that her dress hadn't ridden up the length of her thighs. "What the hell are you doing?" She attempted to dig her knees into his chest while hitting the small of his back with her fists. "Put me down now!" she demanded.

Then he lightly pinched her behind and she froze. It wasn't painful, more of the playful kind, but it was shocking enough for her to stop moving, giving him the opportunity to hold her thighs against his chest more securely with one arm. "What is wrong with you? And where do you think you're taking me, you caveman! You think just because you're strong and tall you can do stupid crap like that."

Inuyasha laughed so richly and deeply that she could feel it vibrating throughout his body. "Being a goofball and nowhere," he finally replied to her questions, much to her disdain as he paraded her around the apartment while whistling. Occasionally, he would spin her around a few times before stopping to look at the numerous pictures and paintings she had hanging on her walls.

She finally ceased fighting when she realized that he was not going to put her down anytime soon. `At least I get to look at his ass…' she thought to herself, her hands clenching into fists to keep from reaching out and touching his taut backside.

"This your mother?"

"Hmm?" Kagome pushed away from his back and twisted so she could look at what he was seeing. It was a favorite of hers, taken when her mother was almost to term with her. Her arms were wrapped protectively over her round stomach and a brilliant smile was stretched across her face. Very natural, very maternal. It was a picture she hoped to pose for one day when she was pregnant. "Yea, that's her."

"When she was with you?" Inuyasha asked quietly.

She nodded before realizing Inuyasha wasn't looking at her. "A week before she went into labor."

"You look like her."

"A lot of people say that. If you look at her pictures when she was my age, we could be twins." She smiled warmly. "What about you? Who do you look like, your mom or your dad?"

Inuyasha snorted and gently set her down on the floor, leaving her a bit light-headed as blood returned from her head to the rest of her body. "He's hardly my father but I got all of his coloring."

"Your mother-"

"Dead," Inuyasha answered harshly, his eyes filled with sudden bitterness that made her regret her question.

Gosh, how could I be so insensitive? I only wanted to know him better…

"Died my last year in high school, that's when I finally got to meet my fucking father."

"I'm sorry," Kagome apologized. She couldn't imagine losing her mother - her one solid rock for most of her life.

"Don't be. It's not like you had anything to do with it."

Silence stretched between them and she felt his anger dissipating with every draw of his breath. Regardless of knowing that it would be best to let the subject go, she couldn't help her curiosity. Him opening up to her like this was a rarity and she wanted to learn more about him. "If you don't mind me asking, how did she…?" Kagome spoke slowly and carefully, worried that she might accidentally step on tender nerves.

It took a long time for him to answer and she had almost given up when he responded, "She had a weak heart…"

"Oh," she replied, not sure of what to say. They fell quietly back into looking at the photograph again. She had seen it a thousand times but for once, she wanted to see it from his eyes.

"You're going to take a picture like that?"

Smiling at the fact that Inuyasha was still speaking to her, she patted her flat tummy. "Yes, I can't wait. I mean I can when I'm older, but I want children, at least two of them." Noting the strange look that passed his face, Kagome continued with a light smile, "Don't mean to scare you with talks about children and all. I know how guys get when they hear the two dreaded words: marriage and children."

Inuyasha rolled his eyes. "Feh, those guys are wusses."

She stared at him with disbelief, her mouth dropping open slightly. It was hard to imagine that this famed bachelor would want to settle down with anyone, let alone have kids. "You mean, you want…"

"Hell yes," he answered with an exaggerated gesture of his hands, "Tons of them, at least as much as my wife is willing to give me."

"Oh, so you want her to be barefoot and pregnant all the time, huh?"

He grinned boyishly, his eyes twinkling with mischief. "Nah, I'll give her a break every once in a while. We'll just train and practice making babies for fun."

"How generous of you," she commented with as much sarcasm as she could muster.

"Glad you approve" was his retort.

Kagome hid a smile, wanting him to continue believing she was annoyed when it was far from the truth. She was glad that she got the chance to know this side of him, the side hidden from the usual rumors and gossips that concentrated on or exaggerated all his negatives, the side she liked.

She could only hope that Sesshoumaru was like that too.

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Inuyasha watched with a curious arch of his brows as she retreated to her bedroom to answer a call, his eyes lingering on the hypnotic sway of her hips and the endless lines of her legs. Resting his head back on the sofa, he imagined those legs wrapped tight around his torso, her back arching up as she panted, her more than ample breasts rubbing against his chest. Images of her dissipated and he looked down at his lap - blood seemed to have rushed straight to his groin with no consideration.

Fuck!

Not wanting Kagome to come out and find him in a state of pure arousal, he reluctantly forced a horrific image into his mind, one of Jaken wearing a polka-dot bikini. It worked some but not enough. The sound of door creaking slightly alerted him to Kagome's presence. He discreetly adjusted his pants before returning to his previous position as she emerged from her bedroom. `That was fast,' he thought to himself as he glanced at his watch. She had been in there for no more than 10 minutes.

"Inuyasha?" she spoke out hesitantly from behind him, prompting him to turn in her direction. He frowned and immediately stood on his feet. Though the conversation had been brief, whoever it was on the other line had upset Kagome greatly, and gone was that bright smile of hers. Only one person could cause such a sullen change in her in such a small amount of time.

"That was him, wasn't it?"

Her eyes widened, surprised that he had guessed the true culprit without her revealing a word, before nodding to confirm his suspicion. "How did you know?"

He snorted at her question and took a few steps toward her, frowning with displeasure as she practiced a bad habit of hers. "Who else would have you making a bloody mess of your lips?"

Kagome froze at his words, and pink quickly returned to the apple of her cheeks as she realized she had been absently worrying her bottom lip.

Taking her silence as her admittance, Inuyasha continued, "So what did the bastard do this time?"

"Don't call him that," she requested softly, her eyes purposefully avoiding his. At once, his hands curled into fists, his frustration and anger directed not at her but at Sesshoumaru. His brother didn't deserve a woman like her. `And you do?' came a discouraging word inside his head. Inuyasha didn't consider himself the better man, but at least he was treating her as more than a business deal. More than-

"He wants me to leave…early tomorrow if possible."

Jealousy, a sense of possessiveness swelled strongly within him, and Inuyasha found himself taking in several calming breaths. He had known about this trip, but didn't think it would be this soon, and just when he was making progress with this stubborn woman. "So he finally decided to schedule you in to his busy life, huh? Or is this all work and no play?" Inuyasha spat out each word bitterly and immediately regretted his immaturity when he saw the remaining light disappear from her eyes.

"Stop Inuyasha… don't do this."

Inuyasha could clearly see that he was hurting her and that she was on the verge of reacting strongly to him, either through tears or anger. A reasonable man would have known that he was treading on dangerous territory. A reasonable man would have respected her wishes and kept quiet.

But he was not a reasonable man, especially when it came to Kagome.

Sometimes he hated her for invading his mind, making it impossible for him to be with other women. And sometimes he hated her for not being able to see that he was better for her. Was he in love with her? He didn't know, but he sure as hell wasn't about to lose the chance to find out. He looked at her, her blue eyes now shining with tears.

Tears for that undeserving asshole.

He needed to make her understand that it could never work out between her and his brother, even if it meant hurting her. "So what is this? His one phone call per week?" Seeing that she was opening her mouth to protest, he added mockingly, "Oh, I'm sorry, I meant twice a week."

"Stop it," Kagome pleaded, a single drop of tear rolled down her cheek.

His heart lurched at the sight but still he continued, "Who knows, he might be able to have dinner with you…"

"Stop it!" she screamed, her face red with anger. "Why are you doing this? Why are you being so cruel?"

"Because I'm a jerk," Inuyasha snarled loudly as he stalked toward her, his chest heaving with an effort to control his rage. She didn't shrink back like he thought she would and looked at him squarely in rebelliousness even when he grabbed her roughly by the shoulders, looking down at her harshly. "A jerk you wouldn't give him up for. A jerk who will put you above all. A jerk who wants you more than he ever will."

Her beautiful eyes shimmered with unspoken emotions - joy, confusion, guilt, regret, and something else, something he wasn't familiar with. Then he saw her winced in pain. Finally realizing how hard his fingers were digging into her skin, he let go of her.

Kagome looked surprised, almost disappointed by his action. "I owe him a chance," she spoke faintly, almost like she wasn't even entirely certain of her explanation. "I can't leave him when I barely know him."

Inuyasha snorted at her naivety. The woman made no sense. "Fuck it, Kagome, trust me on this. You don't want to know him."

"So I should just break off this engagement because you don't like him?"

His hand thrust deep inside his hair, almost tugging at them. "Yes!"

Kagome closed her eyes, breathing hard through her nose. When she opened them again, she was composed. "I don't want to talk about this anymore, Inuyasha. I'm tired and I need to pack," she said calmly as she crossed to her apartment entrance. She unlocked it the door and flung it wide open. "I think you should leave."

Right now, there was nothing more he wanted to do that to punch his hand straight through her wall. Did nothing get through that thick skull of hers? What did she fucking want from him? "You stupid wench. He doesn't even want children, not the way we do. He sees them as a necessity, as heirs, but nothing more. You're an idiot for even giving him a chance," he growled out, and she flinched as though he had physically struck her. Straight away, he wondered if he had truly gone too far, said too much.

"Get out," Kagome stepped to the side of the door and pointed to her right, proving that he had. "Get out. Get out. GET OUT!" she screamed so piercingly at him that her voice was practically hoarse with the last command.

If there was any self-control left inside him, it had vanished completely in a second. Fuming, he grabbed his jacket from the sofa and reached her side quickly, dark feelings seeping outside his skin and surrounding him like an electric current. He saw her swallowed deeply, heard her even as she tried to find her voice while maintaining a rigid posture.

"G-"

Dropping his jacket hastily to the side and slamming the door shut in one fluid motion, Inuyasha shoved her against the wall before a word could be uttered from that tantalizing mouth of hers. Her eyes grew large with fright, and then turned into two pools of defiance even as he was glowering down at her. Sensing movement out of the corner of his eye, Inuyasha caught her hand before she could slap him, then the other as his mouth sealed over hers almost bruisingly, swallowing her surprised gasp and refamiliarizing itself with the feel of her. With careful maneuvering, he managed to capture both of her delicate wrists in one hand, trapping them above her head.

His freed hand journeyed down the soft underside of her arm, feeling her shiver, before boldly cupping her breast, pushing upward and squeezing gently to test its weight. He groaned with satisfaction when she instantly arched into him, her lips finally parting to release a small mewing sound and her nipple becoming taunt beneath his palm. He almost tore her dress straight down the middle when her tongue willingly slipped past his mouth and touched his. Kagome tasted just as sweetly as he'd remembered, and he was no longer willing to live on memory alone.

Inuyasha pushed away from her as suddenly as he had pulled her to him, every part of his being disputing at the lost of contact from her delectable body, but he had to do this. Breathing hard through his nose, he allowed himself a moment to take in her tousled appearance as she slid dazedly to the floor. Her lips were swollen red and her eyes were glassy with pleasure.

All because of me…

He opened the door and flung his jacket over his shoulder, somehow able to appear cool and collected despite the weakening of his limbs. "So you want to give him a chance, fine. But you won't forget me, I won't let you. The next time you see me, you will choose me," he declared confidently before closing the door behind him, all while wondering if he was making the biggest mistake of his life by letting her go.

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A/N: Wow! I actually finished this chapter sooner than I thought and it's back to its usual length too.

For the readers who are concerned about the lack of Sesshy in the last chapters, don't worry, she'll be meeting up with him in the next chapter.

Did Jaken tell on Kagome? *evil grin* I guess you'll have to wait to find out.