InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Owned ❯ Forgotten Memories ( Chapter 9 )

Chapter 9: Forgotten memories

Inuyasha was not home and Kagome was, once again, bored. She decided to spend her day exploring. She wondered aimlessly down the halls.

“Where the hell am I going,” she muttered to herself. Sighing she let her feet drag her to Inuyasha’s bed room door. She hesitated wondering if she should go in or not. Looking around, Kagome made sure no one was around before entering. Quietly, she closed the door behind her and looked around.

In front of her was a king sizes bed with black satin sheets and matching pillows. “Wow, I wish I had these sheets.” She found his closet and opened it. It was a walk in closet. To the right were his clothes and to the left were his shoes. “I didn’t know a guy could have so many shoes.” She explored his closet more and found a small door behind his shoes.

Curious, she opened the door and found a small shoe box. Pulled it out and found that it was covered with dust. Using her sleeve she wiped the dust off and opened the box. Inside were a couple of notebooks that also were covered in dust.

‘I wonder what these are,’ not wiping the cover off, she opened the notebook.

January 1

My therapist told to me start writing my thoughts and feelings in a journal so I have decided to give it a try. It’s been almost a year since the crash and I have yet to mend. I am unable to move on, forever stuck in the past. Everyone has been telling me that it is not my fault, but I cannot help but think it is. If I were there when I was supposed to be, she would not have died. I didn’t even have the courage to go to her funeral. What kind of person am I? Just knowing that I was the reason she died made me sick to my stomach. I can’t believe I was so careless.

Kagome skimmed the rest of the entry, hoping to find out who the woman was. When she didn’t find anything, she flipped through the notebook until an entry caught her eye.

March 10

I had that dream again about the crash. This time I was holder her in my arms. I woke up the tearing running down my face. It’s been months since I shed a tear. I don’t understand why I can’t move on. My heart breaks every time I see that image of her face. I don’t know how much more I can take of this. I wish it was me that got hit and not her. Today I met with my grandmother and she cursed and spat on me. She told me that it should have been me that died. I just sat there not knowing what to do. I knew she was right.

A single tear dripped down on the page. Kagome wiped her eyes and closed the book. Wanting to know more, she picked up the second one and opened.

June 28

Today I found out that I am depressed. I didn’t need a doctor to tell me that I was suffering from depression. Of course I was depressed; the one person that understood me was dead and there was no bringing them back. Sesshomaru stopped over also. Instead of the normal greeting, he punched me in the face. I was so shocked that I just sat there and looked up at him. His eyes were blazing as he yelled at me. He told me that I need to get over it, that mom would have wanted me to move on. I sat there and cried. I never cried in front of my brother because I thought it would just make him lose respect for me. But the opposite happened, I think my brother started to respect me more, go figure. Maybe now this is the start of my recovery.

She continued to read through the journals until she finally reached the last one.

December 24

I’m sad…I thought it would be impossible to feel such dread since the crash, but I do. I decided to start dating and thought I found the love of my life, I was so wrong. I gave her everything she wanted and I thought she loved me for me, but all she loved was my money. The day before Christmas I saw her with another man. I wanted to rip his head off. She just laughed at me and asked me if I really thought she cared about me. When I said yes she just laughed and said she was only with me for the money. I threw her out along with all her clothes. I burnt every last gift I gave her. It’s not enough; I will never stop loving her. I’m such a fool.

When Kagome was about to flip the page, she saw a shadow looming over her.

“What are you doing in my room,” Inuyasha said in a bitter voice.

“Well…”

He looked down at her hands and saw his journals. Balling up his hands, he exploded. “Get the fuck out! Out!” Kagome dropped the notebook and got up. Inuyasha grabbed her by the arm and dragged her out.

“Inuyasha, you’re hurting me,” she winced in pain as his grip tightened. Tossing her out, he slammed his door and locked it. Rubbing her arm, she walked quietly to her room. Tears streamed down her face. She was confused why Inuyasha acted that way. She knew he was going to be mad, but full of rage?

‘Maybe I should apologize,’ she thought but remembered the look in his eyes. Rubbing her arm she laid on her bed in deep thought. XXX

Kagome woke up realizing she fell asleep. Rubbing her arm, the door opened. Lisa walked in bowing.

“Kagome would you like some dinner,” she asked.

“I’m not really hungry.”

“Okay,” Lisa started to leave.

“Wait Raiza.”

She turned around. “Yes?”

“Is Inuyasha still in his room?”

“Yes.”

“That’s all, thank you.” Bowing, she left. Straighten up, Kagome decided to go apologize. Hesitantly she made her way back to Inuyasha’s room and knocked on the door. When he did not answer she knocked again. There still was no answer. She opened his door and founded him sitting on his bed. “Inuyasha.”

He looked up at her. His face was unreadable. “What do you want Kagome?”

“I just wanted to apologize. I…I had no right to go through your stuff. I’m sorry.”

“Curiosity kills the cat.”

“I know.” They went quiet.

“Come here,” he patted a space on his bed. She walked over and sat. “What did you read?”

“Well…I read something about a crash and that you were with this woman…” she trailed off.

“I forgot about that crash.” She looked up at him. “It’s been so long since that day.”

“I just want to tell you that I’m here for you like you’re here for me. We both have something in our past that we are not proud of.”

“Yeah,” he grew quiet. “Maybe one day I'll tell you the whole story.”

“I would like that.” Out of nowhere, Inuyasha grabbed Kagome and wrapped his arms around her. He laid back with her still in his arms. “Inuyasha-”

“Don’t say anything.” She grew quiet and let him hold her. She felt her shirt begin to wet. Tears of her own, she wrapped her arms around him. Her mind wondered to the promise.

‘I promise,’ she thought. ‘I promise to make you happy Inuyasha.’ Closing her eyes, she let the moment take her, holding on to Inuyasha tightly.