InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Patchwork Family ❯ Dreams, a Close Call and an Interesting Explanation ( Chapter 44 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

A/N: All Inuyasha characters and references belong to the creator of Inuyasha, Rumiko Takahashi and published by Shogakukan. Any other characters are more than likely my own creation. If I borrow directly from another story I will do my best to make sure I give credit where credit is due. I will be pulling some material (ideas and inspirations) from Burn Notice, Leverage, Scorpion, Supernatural, and Lockwood & Co.

NOTE TO ALL---- Just a heads up, smut ahead in this chapter. And if anyone thinks it’s strange, the way it happens, I’m here to tell you from experience that it’s actually a fairly logical and common reaction to what she’s going through.

A/N: Thought I'd go ahead and give you this chapter, since it's been so long since I've been able to post new installments. I went back and forth a lot on whether I wanted to let this one ride as it is but every time I went back to change it, nothing else seemed to fit right in its place. It’s something that just sort of happened as I was writing, and it makes sense as it is, so I finally left it be. Hope you guys like it. More to come soon.

*** Dreams, a Close Call and an Interesting Explanation ***

0322-232015 (numbers are for my own purposes, don’t mind them)

Kagome closed her eyes and let the water run over her, soothing away the problems that lay before her, washing them down the drain for a moment of peace. The smell of Inuyasha’s soap as she lathered herself made her smile a little. That far-away smell of sandalwood was something she associated with the warmth of him now, and it made her heart beat a little faster with a pleasant exhilaration.

She pulled her lower lip with her teeth as she imagined the silver haired half-demon coming in the bathroom and joining her. She imagined the way he might stand behind her, take the soap from her hands, and slide his fingers through the suds along her skin. No doubt he wouldn’t do this long before backing her against the shower wall and kissing the daylights out of her. Though he’d been patient with her, he was a rather direct personality to say the least, and that excited her. There was never any playing games or trying to figure out what he thought about anything.

There was a loud pop/crack noise and the humming complaint of electrical failure. Kagome jumped and opened her eyes, finding the cool white light of the bathroom gone. Her breath caught in her throat as she stood under the running water shrouded in complete darkness. Had the power gone out? Had someone blown a fuse? She pulled in a deep breath, doing her best to remind herself that she was in a safe place, even if she couldn’t see it. She was in the small, clean cut bathroom attached to Inuyasha’s rooms at Shore House.

The water was still warm, so she supposed whatever the problem might be, it didn’t affect the water heater. Quickly, she set the soap on the small shelf built into the wall and turned beneath the stream, rinsing herself off. She kicked her toes out a little, frowning in the gloom. There were a few inches of water gathered in the bottom of the small shower stall. She ran the pad of her foot over the drain, looking dislodge anything that might be blocking it. Perhaps some of her long hair had shed and gathered, or maybe she’d knocked the washcloth down. But search though she might with her toes, she found nothing blocking the outlet.

Reaching out, she searched the tiled wall in front of her for the chrome handle to turn the water off. Her frown deepened when she slid her wet hands over the cool tiles, finding nothing. She felt up the wall and down again… nothing but more tile. Her thoughts began to shudder a little uneasily. This wasn’t right.

There was supposed to be a metal handle that pulled from one side to the other; there was supposed to be a shower head attached to an arc of piping almost two feet above her. She could feel the water falling on her, but when she moved her hands through the darkness above, there was nothing to feel but the stream of water, as if it poured in an endless torrent from nowhere.

Kagome backed out from under the water, hand searching behind her for the back wall. The wall was still there, solid as ever, and she pressed her back against it, feeling the water sloshing above her ankles. She searched with her hands for the door handle, but found only the smooth glass from wall to wall. There was no handle.

When she slid her hands up the glass, she knew there should be an end to it. There was a gap between the top of the door and the ceiling. She’d seen it every day. She wasn’t tall but she should still be able to reach the top of the door.

There was only more glass, as far up as she could reach; insurmountable miles of smooth glass.

Her breathing sped up as she tried to keep panic at bay. This was impossible. She was safe. She was in Inuyasha’s bathroom. He was in the next room waiting for her to come out. The water crept higher, and seemed to be rising faster. The falling stream from the unaccounted-for shower head pattered on the surface as the water swirled about her calves. She called out in a nervous, slightly trembling voice, wrapping her arms around her exposed breasts. “Inuyasha?”

There was no answer, and she called out again, louder. Something was wrong. She needed help. She needed OUT, now. Her heart was beating so hard in her chest that she could hear the blood pounding in her ears as the water rose to her knees. “Inuyasha! I can’t turn it off!”

She realized how stupid this sounded; especially as her voice became a little shrill with panic. After a long moment passed with only the sloshing, pattering water around her she searched the walls again. This was ridiculous. There had to be a handle. It couldn’t just disappear. She searched and searched; nothing but endless tile on three sides, and glass on the fourth.

A small shameful sob tore from her chest as she pounded her fists on the glass. She’d break it if she had to. Her hands made a muted thumping sound and she froze. She recognized that sound. She’d heard it before. That was not the sound of a shower door. That was the sound that human flesh and bone made when it struck a thick, very strong pane of glass.

“No…” she said; a choked cry, her voice hoarse, echoing strangely against the tile. “No, no… no-no-no….” She felt around again frantically, but nothing had changed, except that now the water was up above her knees. She searched for the drain with her toes again, and this time, as she searched for anything preventing it from doing its job, she actually felt water being pushed up through the pipe, contributing to the rising level.

Her hand came to her mouth and she stood there for a second, trembling as frenzied thoughts banged into each other in her head. She pounded on the glass again, yelling for help, but stopped when there was a low, guttural laugh on the other side of the glass. Her heart rate went from a hundred miles an hour to a grinding halt; frozen still as stone. She jumped back with a splash as a clawed hand, larger than her own smacked against the glass. A dim, cool, silvery gray-blue light, like what she associated with the Dead Space suddenly shown against a face that leered in at her through glinting red eyes.

Kagome crossed her arms over her chest again and backed away, sloshing through the water at her thighs until her back hit the tile wall. A smooth, dark voice spoke, muffled a bit by the glass. “They’re all mine… little Miko. You’re mine. You’ll give me what I need, and I’ll take for my own that wealth of power which you leave wasted.”

He spat the last word in a disgusted hiss that almost made her flinch. When she didn’t answer, he said, “you will serve my purposes. I will have full access to the Shikon no Tama, as well as your own-- more unique-- power. You will bear a vessel for me to consume, since your undiluted power makes using you in such a way impossible. That child will become a part of me, as so many others have before, and the spirits too stupid to leave this earth upon their death will be fuel for my ever growing talents. None shall stand even the ghost of a chance…” He laughed, entertained by his own joke.

Kagome shook her head, feeling sick, closing her eyes as the water crept up her waist and chest. “You can’t be here… you’re not here…” she gasped. His red eyes returned to stare at her through the glass hungrily.

“You’re mine Kagome, and so are all of your silly little phantoms. I’ll suck the spirit world dry. The pathetic memories of the dead will feed me until my power is unmatched, and then- I’ll be able to wield the magic of the jewel myself. Take a look, woman, at all those souls you’ll betray before I’m finished with you.”

The slimy presence disappeared with a hushed scrapping sound against the glass and Kagome peered through at the gleaming cloud of ghosts. They were gathered there, illuminating cinderblock walls with their other-worldly light, showing her the ugly basement room she knew well, showing her the place where she’d almost drowned more times than she could count.  “No…” she gasped, shaking her head again.

She recognized a few of the spirits that watched the water rise to her neck in the confines of her prison. The old woman covered in coats and scarves that haunted the corner near the park where her great grandchildren played every day, a teenage boy she often saw clinging to the last section of bleachers at the high school where he’d been hit by a car next to the football field… and then there was Felix.

The leather-clad man with shaggy hair and bloody jeans stood nearest the glass, looking in at her. He shook his head in disappointment and defeat as she began to tread water. She struggled against the glass; so far gone in panic and despair that her nakedness before the accusing, translucent crowd of eyes never entered her mind.

She propped her feet against the back wall for leverage and pounded as hard as she could against the glass, but there was no give. It was just as before. The glass was strong, and the dark water pressed in around her. She spluttered and swam as best she could in the confined space, reaching as high as possible, searching for a way out, but the walls seemed to go on forever.

She cried out Inuyasha’s name, but he wasn’t there. Terror shot through her as she her muscles began to weaken. She couldn’t feel her legs. Her hands were numb, and her magic was nowhere to be found; not that her magic would keep her from drowning. She choked and tried to keep her head above the water, trying to remember when Tsubaki had given her the last injection.

She couldn’t recall, and her memories felt fuzzy and far away. Everything was getting more muddled and confused. She was sinking, the outlines of the ghosts watching her, though now she couldn’t identify one from another, her sight blurred as she gazed through the shifting water.

Her lungs screamed for air but she couldn’t kick to the surface. The best she managed was to reach an arm up, but she couldn’t pull it back down again in a stroke upwards. It grew quiet and still, and she wondered if she should just give up, just open her mouth and give the hungry water her last breath… let it eat her alive.

A strong hand plunged into the water and grabbed hers, yanking so hard it made her shoulder ache. The hand pulled her to the surface and she gasped for oxygen, her muzzy brain expecting, based on experience, the dark haired Bankotsu to be stationed atop a step ladder, sliding a broom handle or something into her hand, bracing either end of the item against the narrow top of her tank.

Surely Naraku must have gone to attend other business, and Bankotsu had thought it safe enough to pull her up for air and give her something to hold onto. That was the only possible explanation, right? She cried desperately, “get me out! I can’t… get me out…”

But when she coughed up water and looked around, she choked and tried to pull away. It was Naraku, his pale face smug with satisfaction at her fear. She still had no strength in her body; in fact, her limbs felt like lead weights. She tried to grab onto her magic and give him a shock of power he’d never forget- but the energy slipped out of their grasp like a squirming fish.

His low, horrible laugh promised pain and suffering as he pulled her limp body out of the sloshing water. Long chilly arms pressed her down against something soft and he rose above her, trailing his hands down her body as leaned close to whisper into her ear. “I took them all Kagome. Your father, your uncle, your dear little brother… though I admit I didn’t realize what a treasure of opportunity they left behind in you. Your new friends will be no different. Some filthy mutt will not keep what is mine, and you are mine.”

***  

Inuyasha was in the kitchen eating a bowl of leftover soup when he felt the edge of his mind begin to buzz and hum. Kagome’s anxiety began to rustle against his thoughts and progressed rapidly from a brush of distracted discomfort to full blown terror. He set the bowl down in the sink with a clunk, glancing at the clock, ears twitching as he listened to the quiet house. It was still early, only about 4:30 a.m.  and she’d been sleeping soundly when he’d left to feed his growling belly.

When he reached the bedroom he found Kagome panting slightly, breathing through her nose, still clearly asleep. She was having another nightmare. Inuyasha’s weight settled on the edge of the bed next to her and there was a cold lance of her fear across his thoughts as she thrashed a little, tangled in the sheet.  Her face was damp with sweat and tears, and she was muttering small noises between her gasps.

He set his hand against her clammy cheek and spoke her name, trying for a soothing tone. “Kagome… Hey, come on, wake up… you’re alright…”

She thrashed again, one of her hands seeming to search for something. He reached out and took her hand in his as she whimpered pleading words he could only just understand. “Get me out! I can’t… get me out…”

Inuyasha shook her carefully, leaning down to speak closer to her ear as he ran his fingers into her hair. “Kagome, you can wake up now. Whatever it is, it’s not real.”

Her scent was shot through with sour shock and fright, and she jerked in his arms as he squeezed her hand. She shuddered and sucked in a deep breath, as if she’d been denied oxygen for days. Inuyasha drew back to look into her face, finding her eyes open, but unfocused. They searched the dimly lit room in alarm and he reached over to turn on the small bedside lamp, giving her as much light as possible to reacclimatize herself. Whatever she’d been dreaming about had clearly thrown her for a loop almost as bad as her dunk in the ocean.

Sharp, stormy eyes searched his face as her chest heaved, a tear sliding across her skin as her attention locked onto him. “Inuyasha…” she whispered, as if she were surprised to see him and was trying to remember who he was.

He nodded once, brushing her hair back and giving her hand another squeeze. “Yeah. It’s me… I’m not goin’ anywhere.”

She was still panting slightly as her eyes darted back and forth, seeming to search the inside of her own head more than the room around them. Her other hand shook as she pulled it up to her lips. She closed her eyes tight, unable to completely muffle the sob that seemed to tear itself savagely from her, as if it were rending something in the process.

She rolled onto her side to face away from him as the terror and panic seemed to implode, disappearing and leaving only an anguish-filled hole in her chest. For half a second she wondered if beneath her shirt she’d find a scar over her heart like the one Inuyasha wore across his belly, but her conscious mind knew that was foolishness.

Inuyasha felt his own chest squeeze painfully at the wretched sound that escaped her, and at the awful expression on her face as she turned away from him, trying to contain her pain. But that wasn’t possible, not when Inuyasha could feel its burning bite against his own thoughts. It surged against him like cold fire, and was almost enough to make him gasp aloud. He never let go of her hand as he pivoted to lay behind her, wrapping his body around hers and pulling her tight against his warm chest.  

Kagome’s small frame shook and he devoted himself to absorbing as much of the grief as he could, trying to take some of the weight from her before she was smothered by it. They lay curled together like that for about 15 minutes while she cried herself out. Inuyasha just held onto her. Finally, she seemed to run out of steam and only the occasional tear slipped out.

Inuyasha let go of her hand and turned a little to reach behind them for the Kleenex box on the bedside table. He dropped it on the sheets in front of her and her hand crept out to pull a tissue, mumbling a watery sound of gratitude as she wiped her face and blew her nose several times. He just wrapped his arm around her small waist and settled against her, coiling himself around her body and brushing his thoughts against hers in an effort to sooth her ragged nerves.

Kagome felt his warm, fur-coated presence, shot through with the impressions of  rich red and gold light in her head, and her lips tugged into a half-hearted smile as she tried to relax into it. In a hoarse voice she murmured, “I’m sorry.”

Inuyasha leaned up on one elbow and tugged her gently until she rolled onto her back, her side still pressed against him. He looked down into her face and shook his head, thrown by the raw torrent of violent emotion that had just gushed from her. “Bad one… hugh?” he muttered, his fingers brushing through her hair.

Her eyes went unfocused again for a moment as she remembered the red eyes staring at her, the pressure of the water pulling heavy limbs down as she fought for air, and the awful realization that there was nothing she could do while those she was supposed to help watched her fail. Kagome swallowed hard and nodded, turning into him and burying her face against his chest.

Inuyasha let out a sigh and readjusted so he could slide under the tangled blankets with her, propping himself against the pillows and pulling her tight against his side. He was gratified when she didn’t protest in the slightest. She lay half on top of him, one of her bare legs wrapped around his, her arm settled across his chest as she lay her head on his shoulder.

After the second time he’d flung her into the heights of climax, he’d gotten a good look at her half naked, so she’d felt a little easier about just sleeping in her tank top and underwear. A blush had stained her cheeks when she made the decision as they got into bed the night before, but it was more comfortable. He gave her another minute to calm down before he asked, “wanna tell me about it?”

Kagome briefly considered explaining her nightmare, and now she was awake and fully aware that it was nothing more than that. But the idea of going through it again in any fashion exhausted her nearly to the point of mental collapse, and she just shook her head. Speaking felt like a herculean effort that she just couldn’t manage at the moment.

The warm, tanned chest under her rose and fell with his steady breathing and he held her. After a minute or two, he was surprised when he felt her press a kiss against his neck. Kagome decided that, for now, she didn’t want to think about anything. She just wanted to feel, and the man laying beneath her made her feel in the best of ways. She pressed a warm kiss just under his jaw, finding his pulse and swirling her tongue against his skin in the delightful way he’d done for her before. Out of the corner of her eye she saw one of his ears twitch, as if in surprised interest, and he pulled in a sharp breath.

She smiled faintly against his neck, running her hand over his chest, down his firmly muscled torso, and with only a moment of hesitation, brushing her fingers slowly all the way down to rapidly stiffening flesh. Inuyasha squeezed her carefully where his arm wrapped around her, looking down with heated gold eyes as she pressed her palm down again along the length of him through his pants. He raised one curious eyebrow and quirked a slightly uncertain grin at her.

Her lips twitched, replying with a tentative smile of her own as she explored him with her fingers. She leaned up to kiss him and he muttered against her lips, “better be careful what you start, wench.”

Kagome didn’t withdraw. Rather, his warning seemed to goad her on. She kissed him again, deeper this time, her soft pressure demanding in a way he hadn’t felt from her before. She left no room for doubt about the fact that she wanted him… needed him even. He settled his hands on her hips while she shifted to straddle his lap, her scent spiking with hot arousal, though it was still tainted with her earlier tears and upset. The mix was a strange cocktail-- and he wasn’t entirely sure what to do with the combination.

Inuyasha met her gaze as she looked down from where she perched atop him. She deliberately sat back, rolling her hips to press against him through his pajama pants, and her eyes searched his face, as if watching for his response. When she licked her lips his eyes dropped to her mouth, and then farther south to the tops of her breasts. They were on rather good display in her camisole as she leaned in close to him, her hands on the pillow just over his shoulders.

Her hands moved then to rest on his shoulders as she leaned in to kiss him once more. He slid his hands along her thighs, and then her back, returning her kiss. He’d let her take what she needed from him and unashamedly enjoy every second of it. His fingers pressed along her skin under the camisole at her back and she pressed her core against him again. He made a low appreciative sound, and she smiled a little against his lips.

This man made her feel wanted; made her feel desirable and beautiful-- not for what her magic could do, and not for what she could give him, but for whatever it was that made her Kagome. She didn’t want to let Naraku or anything he’d said, or made her feel detract from this. She had a sudden, intense need to prove that what Naraku thought… that all that he’d done didn’t matter here in this moment.

She sat back again, letting her hands drop to grasp the hem of her shirt. After a brief pause, she pulled the shirt over her head, tossing it aside. Inuyasha’s eyes sharpened, heating to a dark, liquid gold-amber as he let his hungry gaze travel over every inch of her.

She sat straddling his hips, now wearing nothing but the black cotton underwear, her long dark hair a little mussed and curling about her shoulders. He drank in the sight, almost feeling a little punch-drunk. There were a few small scars, but they didn’t detract from her appeal in the slightest. For the first time he was allowed to appreciate almost the full expanse of her skin; the dark, dusky rose color of her nipples, the bare curve of each breast.

Inuyasha let his hands slide up to cup the soft mounds, his eyes flicking to meet hers as he gently brushed and stroked. She had just enough there to comfortably fill his palms with silken flesh. Blushing, she looked a little nervous and her lower lip was caught in her teeth again. Without thought, he sat up straighter and took her mouth with his, his dick twitching beneath her in approval. He rolled one tight bud carefully between the pads of his fingers, drawing a low, slightly surprised sound from her.

Ducking his head, he let his nose and lips brush against the curve of her right breast before her took the peak into his mouth. He rolled his hot tongue around it, sucking gently to pull it into his mouth as he drew away. Her arms circled his neck and she emitted another small sound of pleasure, her thighs squeezing his waist where she sat.

He glanced up at her face and his smile was one of smug satisfaction at the astonishment displayed there. It was clear she hadn’t had any idea how good this could feel. As she watched, he did the same with the other breast, one hand coming up to carefully knead and stroke the first.

The smell of her arousal thickened, and he pulled her down with him as he reclined back once more against the pillows. She came willingly, her lips finding his with the same heated demand as before. She left his mouth, pressing kisses along his throat, letting her teeth gently scrape against his skin. His brain was fully engaged in only one direction at this point; and it wasn’t until her hands ran down his chest to tug at his waistband, pressing the elastic down off his hips that he opened his eyes and pulled more functional thoughts together for a second.

His gaze met hers and he searched her face as he asked, “you sure?” As tightly wound as she’d been since day one, it seemed to be a lot of ground to gain all at one time, and it tugged at his admittedly lust-glazed mind as not quite right. He wasn’t an idiot; he knew why she’d been having trouble with this. There were a dozen or so very good reasons for it.

She swallowed, her eyes dropping to her fingers where they lay against the waistband of his partially exposed boxers. She nodded once, coming back to kiss him. He let his hands smooth along her sides, one hand caressing the soft curve of her breast again as he returned her kiss, mindful of his claws as his thumb stroked her. She sighed softly, murmuring over his mouth in a soft, pleading tone that made him want to remove every scrap of clothing left between them. “I want to feel you, Inuyasha. I need to.”

He nosed her neck, breathing her in, running his fingers down her back to settle against the curve of her hips, holding her flush against his body before he drew back enough to look at her. His voice was a little husky. “What are we doing? Tell me what’s goin’ on in there.”

He brushed his fingers against her temple as he spoke, running them into her hair as she lay over him. His eyes slid down the curve of her neck, over the uninterrupted bare skin to the place where her breasts pressed against his chest, and he wanted nothing more than to taste every inch of her. However, he pulled his eyes back to hers and she wasn’t really sure how to answer.

Kagome was a little afraid of how far she wanted to go. She was very seriously considering taking things to the greatest extent possible. It felt like if she could just feel him inside her, moving with her, everything would be alright. But at the same time it scared her nine ways from Sunday. All she could come up with was the same vague explanation. “I just want to feel you.”

He studied her and when she didn’t say more he asked cautiously, “like… before?”

She chewed her lip, her eyes sliding to the side for a moment as she shied away again from any clear thinking. Kagome started to pull her arms inward from their place around his neck, moving to sit up and cover her chest a little self-consciously. Inuyasha frowned and shook his head, trying to interpret the tangled mess of desire and nerves he felt when he brushed against her thoughts.

He sat up with her, not allowing her to withdraw, and gently pulled her hands back up around his neck, leaning in to kiss her neck, pressing warm lips and tongue against her pulse, and then the place just under her ear as he whispered, “like before is fine... I’m just making sure I  know what’s going on.” ‘Even if it kills me…’ he thought as the words left his mouth. He thought he might be harder now than he’d ever been in his life.

She sighed under his attentions, his hands coming up to palm her breasts before they ran around to her back. Those hands settled on her hips as he tasted her taught buds again, trailing kisses back up to her neck. He gave each breast another stroke and said in a low, rough, heated tone, “and for the record… these are great… no hiding them from me.”

She flushed at the praise, her lips twitching into a smile as he lay back against the pillows. Kagome shifted a little over him so he could slide the sleep pants off and kick them away, leaving them together in only their under things. She settled atop him again, her hands on his chest, and he felt her press her heated center against his hard shaft.

Inuyasha felt the pressure building steadily and he smoothed his hands down her bare thighs, then back up again to dip his thumbs beneath the hem of her panties. She pressed herself into his touch, watching him with an intense, needy focus. Inuyasha took her movements as his queue and slid one thumb between her legs, under the cotton. His claws made this a less than wise move, but as long as he was careful… He nearly groaned at the thick wetness that coated the pad of his thumb when he brushed it along her cleft.

Kagome closed her eyes, breathing out a soft whimpering sound, and moved her hips harder against his hand, flushed with excitement all the way down that beautiful neck. She leaned down to kiss him as he rubbed her carefully. He had to stop when she began to move more enthusiastically; afraid that he’d accidently hurt her. She opened her eyes and made a small, plaintiff noise at the loss. He grinned and whispered, “if you let me up a minute, I can take the claws off.”

She made a dismissive sound and kissed him again deeply, settling against him for a moment before her fingers worked their way down to push his boxers off his hips. In his surprise he automatically lifted himself, allowing the cloth to slide away, freeing his throbbing cock to rest against her belly. She worried her lower lip against her teeth again as she felt him beneath her fingers, his sex ridged and hard beneath soft, hot skin.

Her eyes drifted down, examining the substantial length of him as she let her thumb circle the head, smoothing the damp bead of fluid that had gathered over his swollen tip. Inuyasha let his head drop back with a groan as she squeezed him gently in her small hand. He was going to die right here, right now- he was sure of it, and he was going to go with a smile.

Kagome watched his face curiously as she squeezed and moved her hand up and down along his shaft, exploring him. His breathing became more irregular and his muscles all pulled tight. She felt him twitch in her hand and the ache inside her grew with a roaring vengeance. She settled herself over him again, letting her cotton covered sex brush along his length. He ran his hands up her thighs as he watched her, golden eyes tinged with red at the edges of the iris, his voice rough as he murmured her name, unable to get out more than that as she rolled her hips against him.

Inuyasha’s hands came up to stroke her sides, her breasts, then down back to her hips. She was surprised, but unable to be upset about it when he flicked the edge of his claws beneath the hip seams of her panties, the cloth falling off her as he sliced through it. His hand tugged the damaged scrap away and tossed it to the floor.

She gasped and let loose a breathy mewling sound as he lifted his hips against hers, letting his thick length press finally against her aching center, sliding easily against her slick, open heat. Inuyasha closed his eyes, letting his head drop back on the pillow again, swearing under his breath as she rolled her hips, grinding against him, the smell of their mutual desire filling the room. In that moment he wanted nothing more than to surge into her. To do otherwise at this point was asking an awful lot of both of them.

He searched for strength to think at all, breathing in her smell, listening to her uneven breaths. She did want him; he knew that; maybe as badly as he wanted her. But her scent still wasn’t quite right, and it tugged at his attention. His eyes squeezed shut for a moment as her arousal filled his nose, tainted by the slight trace of darker, painful emotions stitched through the edges in a ragged way. Was this what she needed? Should he disregard the question and just give her what she was asking for- what he was nearly dying for?  

Inuyasha tugged her down to lay across his chest, resting his forehead against hers. Guiltily, he remembered what he’d just told his brother less than 24 hours ago. She needed time. But she was asking for this now and everything in him wanted to comply… preferably more than once… and with great enthusiasm.

Finally he opened his eyes, his breath catching as she slid against the length of him again, and he held her hips firmly to stop her movement before he lost the tattered remains of his control. She looked down at him, and he noted that her pretty face was still a little rough from crying. He studied her and said a little hoarsely, “if you’re not ready for this, it needs to stop now. I’m not a saint, Kagome.”

She didn’t say anything, and she didn’t move, but her body remained pressed against his. She was chewing her lip again and looking desperately determined. When she still didn’t protest he raised his eyebrows a little in question. Slowly, she leaned down and kissed him, and he swore again under his breath. He could feel her heart beating like a drum against him and he let his hands drift down her back to give her butt a light squeeze.

Kagome breathed out a shuddering sigh as he pressed up against her, sliding his aching cock along the soft folds between her legs a few times until he felt his tip catch against her opening in just the right place. Her breath caught and she held very still as he pushed into her, inch by inch. She leaned forward, her elbows placed above his shoulders on the pillow as he worked himself into her, giving her body time to stretch and accommodate his intrusion. It took a few passes to accomplish, and she was so tight and wet around him he thought he might disgrace himself and finish right then.

She breathed out a quiet sound of awe at the feeling of fullness when he pushed up one last time to the hilt, deeply seated in her. It was then that he felt her trembling. She’d nearly stopped breathing and her panic spiked again. He rubbed at her lower back and kissed her temple, murmuring in a rough voice against her ear, “am I hurting you?”

Kagome shook her head a little numbly, gasping as she shifted a little, settling herself around him. He was large, hot, and hard inside her, and she couldn’t seem to get her mind to cooperate with her body’s wishes. There was somewhat of a jamm-up happening in her head and she was ashamed of it.

One part of her wanted to start moving against him immediately, and the other wanted to break down in hysterics and run away like the bed was on fire. She dropped her forehead onto the pillow next to him, over his shoulder, pulling in a few deep breaths before she whispered back unsteadily, “no-- I don’t think so, but… I need a minute… sorry.”

Inuyasha frowned a little and ran his fingers up her back and into her hair. It was taking everything he had to keep still, but he did it. The feeling of just being inside her was better many times over than anything he’d ever felt before. He pressed his lips to her shoulder and almost growled, “don’t apologize.”

After a long moment he grudgingly added, “I want this, Kagome… but not because you’re upset. If you aren’t ready...”

Kagome didn’t say anything at first, then in a thin wavering voice she said, “I thought I was. Would you hate me if I said I don’t know if I can do… um… more?” Her fingers shook a little as she traced small circles against his chest and he gathered her hand into his.

“No…” he said slowly. He felt her inner muscles flutter a little, squeezing him inside her and he let out a low moan as he continued, “but I’d like the acknowledgement that most guys wouldn’t make it through this…. and maybe a hand job... when you’re up to it- before I lose it.”

Kagome let out a tense laugh, causing those inner muscles to move around him deliciously again, and he closed his eyes, counting in his head to keep from bucking his hips at the stimulation. She was awfully tight and he didn’t want to hurt her. She stiffened suddenly against him, her laughter dying in an instant; and he felt a sudden surge in her distress. Before his blood-deprived brain knew what was happening she’d sat up and was off of him in a hurry.

Kagome knelt next to him on the mattress, clutching one of the blankets to her chest, her hand over her mouth. She looked horrified with herself.

“What now?” he asked, confused and a little overwhelmed for a second with his own sexual frustration.

“Oh gods…” she whispered, mostly to herself. Her eyes jumped around for a second before she said, “how can I be so stupid? What’s wrong with me? Oh gods….”

She fell back onto her butt and he sat up, looking at her in confusion. Their mental connection was giving him nothing other than anxiety, panic and shame, and he couldn’t understand it. He frowned at her a little impatiently and asked, “can ya give me a little more to go on here?”

Finally her eyes met his and she breathed out, “we weren’t using any kind of protection… If you… If we… I could have gotten pregnant if we… oh gods… and I just found out I wasn’t… How could I be so stupid?”

His relief was strong enough that she could feel it against her own mind and she frowned as he let out a low snort of amusement and said, “calm down. You’re not stupid. I wouldn’t let that happen.”

Her frown deepened and her tone was a little high pitched with worry as she started saying, “Inuyasha, I can’t get pregnant right now. I’m so lucky that I wasn’t in the first place. That’s what he wants-- and… and we just… we might have-- ”

But he cut her off, sighing. “It wouldn’t have happened Kagome. It couldn’t.”

Now, she was the one to look thoroughly confused. Her eyes fell to his still very erect length for a second before finding his face again. “What… do you mean?” she asked, her voice small, but a little less hysterical.

He flushed, self conscious, adjusting himself a little as he explained. “Haven’t you noticed there are a LOT more humans than there are demons?”

She still studied him uncertainly and he went on. “It doesn’t generally just happen that easy with us. There aren’t nearly as many young because most demons can only whelp offspring for a short duration once a year. For some it’s even less often and only under very specific circumstances... It took Sesshomaru and his mate a decade of trying before they finally got pregnant with Rin.”

“And… um… you?” she asked hesitantly, her own face going very red.

After a pause he told her, “only for about two weeks during the middle of winter.”

Her eyes dropped to the pillows and she sat in quiet contemplation before she asked, “but… you’re half human too, right? That doesn’t change… things?”

Inuyasha snorted once and shook his head, his own eyes sliding away as he remembered events long in the past. “No,” he said quietly. “Not in my case.”

“How can you know for sure?” she asked, still uncertain, but curious none-the-less.

He looked at her and their eyes finally met for a long second before he elaborated. “My blood was tested by a witch, of sorts-- a long time ago. My… my mother actually had it done.. when I was about four years old, before she got sick. She thought I should know when I got older, and by then my sire was dead, so there wasn’t anyone around who’d be able to tell by scent like normal. This witch was apparently a close friend of hers, because she actually tracked me down later to tell me what the exact results of her spell-working had told them.”

He snorted and scratched one ear awkwardly. “When she finally found me, well… that was a weird conversation…I don’t mind saying.”

“Oh…” Kagome said, a little lamely. Relief was slowly spreading from his thoughts to hers, and on its heels came a blessed calm. He was eyeing her and after a pause, he added, “I wouldn’t do that to you Kagome; especially not right now. You know that, right?”

She considered his words and she nodded, knowing she could trust him. She didn’t have to wonder if he would lie to her. She knew he was being honest, could sense it in his whole being. It wasn’t hard to tell that Inuyasha didn’t have an insincere bone in his body. She ran her fingers through her hair and let out a long breath as she said, “I’m sorry, yes… of course.”

What if she did want to have children some day? Would it be possible with him? She remembered the sight of Inuyasha with his niece asleep against his shoulder, and she thought he would make a good father, but what had he said the one time the issue had come up? ‘No… for lots of reasons… no.’

She looked at the man sitting naked next to her in the bed, still very aroused; and she felt like a horrible person for pulling away. She decided to set that line of thought aside for another time. She couldn’t really think about a future that included such luxuries as having a family until Naraku was ten feet under; and that was a long way from accomplished.

Kagome flushed self-consciously again as she let the blanket fall, baring herself again to his eyes. She couldn’t help the small smile that crept across her face when the motion worked like a charm, his eyes gravitating south as if pulled by magnets. His hard length twitched once and she moved closer to him again, sitting on her knees. She wasn’t exactly sure how to go about this, had no experience to fall back on, so she was apprehensive. He eyed her curiously and she leaned in to kiss him. Slowly, he returned the gesture, one of his furry ears twitching as he asked, “are we good?”

She nodded and said softly, “yes, thank you. Except…” She glanced down between them, eyes sliding along his abs to his narrow hips. He seemed to tighten a little all over, gold eyes heating again in an instant as she cautiously let her palm settle against his sex. She spoke only a little louder than a whisper. “I’d like to help with this… it is my fault… after all…”

He nodded once, and her lips twitched in silent laughter as she felt a new wave of relief at the edge of her thoughts; relief that came from his side of the mental connection; relief that he wasn’t stuck with the hard-on of a life time. Kagome was a little indignant that he’d thought she might leave him in such a predicament. She had issues, sure, but she wasn’t cruel. And besides that, he’d been good to her; more patient than she ever could have imagined was possible.

She hummed out a thoughtful sound, gently nudging his shoulder until he lay back again on the bed. “So… a hand job… hugh?” she asked, blushing all over again. He watched the color spread over her cheeks, then his eyes dropped to the gentle rise and fall of her chest, then to the place where her small hand was carefully wrapping around him. At the sight he twitched against her fingers and she smiled as she stroked him.

“Mmm hm….” he said roughly, guiding her hand with his for a moment. She was a quick study, and within all of a minute, his breath was unsteady again. Kagome’s eyes grew a little heated as well as she watched the effect she was having on him, and a part of her body ached deeply to feel him inside her again, arguing at the unfairness of her abrupt withdrawal, especially now that she knew there would be no child as a consequence.

But the scare that thought had put into her had been like a wash of cold water. Also, there was now some distance from the nightmare that had triggered such a desperate need to feel close, to feel valued and wanted by this man-- not that she didn’t still feel those things, but the need wasn’t so manic.

This all helped her deny the urge and remember that if she pursued such a decision to its natural conclusion, they would be two thirds of the way to a permanent long-term relationship, and she didn’t know if she was ready for that. Strike that last; she knew she wasn’t in a position to do that, no matter how much the thought had a certain appeal. She knew she shouldn’t be messing around with him like this at all, but once they were close it was difficult to resist.

Inuyasha’s muscles tightened further under her ministrations and she watched his eyes close, his head lean back, his hand fist the sheets at his side as she increased the pace, giving him a little extra gentle squeezing. He let out a tight groan and one of his hands grabbed a shirt from the side of the bed. Guessing what he intended to use it for, she was a little dismayed to notice it was her camisole, but she said nothing, resigning herself to the fact that it would just have to go in the laundry.

She slid her other hand along his stomach, tracing the edges of the scar for a moment before settling her hand at his hip, making sure she had his attention. She hesitated, unsure about what she was about to do, but wanting to do it all the same- if nothing else as an apology for all she’d put him through tonight, and in gratitude for the understanding with which he’d handled her. His gold eyes opened and she swept her hair back over her shoulder before she leaned down and kissed his tip, licking the salty tasting moisture from her lips.

He swore and moaned her name, which made her insides shiver with a sort of feral feminine satisfaction she’d never before experienced. She kept her eyes locked on his as she flicked her tongue, swirled it around his tip before she carefully pulled him into her mouth. She was only able to take in the first half of his heated flesh, but his hand slid into her hair as he let out a low rumbling noise in appreciation.

Nervous that he might require more of this than she was ready for, she sucked carefully for a moment, hearing a hiss of pleasure fall from his lips before she withdrew. Inuyasha was breathing harder now and she went back to using her hand. He arched a bit, his hips bucking against her hand a few times, and he quickly moved her shirt over himself as he came hard, dropping an oath of some kind that she didn’t recognize; she thought perhaps it was Japanese.

He opened his eyes, his body relaxing finally as he started to come back down. She had moved her hand away just in time, and now wiped the moisture from her palm on the sheet, blushing furiously at her daring, but feeling accomplished enough in the results. After a long minute his eyes settled on her and he let out a long breath.

She chewed her lip and asked, “it was… okay?”

He snorted incredulously, finishing his work with her shirt and tossing the soiled garment at the empty clothes basket in the corner.

“Was it okay?” he asked slowly. He surprised her by rising up and tugging her down playfully next to him in the blankets. She let out a surprised laugh but it was cut short when he rolled her beneath him and kissed her. He smelled the change, felt the sharp lance of chilly discomfort at the edge of his thoughts. A flicker of anxiousness came to life in her eyes before she could douse it.

“No-” she gasped, almost in a whisper. Her hands came up against his chest and he slowed his movements, careful to keep his weight on his elbows as he said, “easy… I’ve got you…”

She shook her head, looking a little ashamed of herself as she let out a shuddering breath. The memory of Naraku pressing over her was too close right now, and it threatened to suffocate her. Inuyasha frowned at her continued stiffness. He’d been careful only to put them in this position a few times, and while it had taken her a moment to settle before, she had relaxed into it. Something about this time was different and he could sense that difference in the shifting start of panic at her end of their link.

Kagome pulled in a sharp breath and he shifted to the side again, tucking her under one arm and pulling the comforter up around them. After a moment she settled and said sheepishly, “sorry… I just—”

But Inuyasha cut her off, kissing her deeply, and she relaxed into his touch again. Kagome sighed a little against his lips when he slid a hand up her side to stroke her breast. When her eyes closed he rolled her tightening nipple with his thumb before he moved his hand along her belly, sliding down until he brushed the dark curls between her legs.

She gasped softly and opened her eyes as he whispered against her ear, “you didn’t get to finish yet.”

But this time she seemed to tighten up again, shaking her head, and he pulled his hand away. He studied her face, concerned, but she gave him a small, reassuring smile, shaking her head again and telling him, “it’s alright… Don’t worry about it… I’m sorry…”

He growled under his breath and brushed an errant twist of hair away from her face. “It’s alright, stop apologizing. As long as you’re sure.” She nodded, settling her head against his shoulder.

Inuyasha tucked the blanket more firmly around them and relaxed into the mattress under her, feeling content to lay in bed forever with this woman draped over him, now pleasingly naked. As he ran his hand up and down her arm a few times under the blanket he asked, “think you’ll be able to get some more shut-eye? It’s still pretty early.”

Kagome shrugged, but then at the very suggestion, found a wide yawn pulling itself from her body, which was suddenly very tired again. She hadn’t realized it until just now but the combination of fear, panic, tears and then the ensuing messing-about they’d done had worn her out completely.

Inuyasha smirked and reached towards the bedside table, just barely able to stretch far enough to turn out the light without dislodging her. He waited a moment to make sure the dim glow of the night lights would be enough for her before he relaxed again. It didn’t take long for her breathing to even out, and he let himself drift off as well.