InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Peace Treaty ❯ Longevity ( Chapter 37 )

It was the faint, but unmistakable, scent of her blood that invaded his dreams and caused him to stir. The sight of her sleeping next to him, fair skin just visible in the early morning light, woke him fully. She had warned him that the new moon was approaching and, barring pregnancy, her blood would flow again. He knew she was unhurt, but, despite, or perhaps because of, the tranquil expression on her face, he couldn't resist touching. His fingers traced her feathery lashes and down her jaw as she blinked and slowly regained wakefulness.

 

“Sesshoumaru? Is everything alright?”

 

“I smelled blood.”

 

“Oh?” Kagome realized there was fresh wetness between her legs and dull cramping in her belly and felt torn between relief and sadness. “Are you disappointed I'm not pregnant?”

 

He was slightly disturbed to see worry creasing her brow. “Miko, we've been together less than two months. Ask me that question a year from now if you've not conceived.”

 

She eased into his arms. “I'm just so…ambivalent about it. Part of me is still getting used to the unfamiliarity of motherhood and part of me...I know how much improved the situation with Okuri and Azami would be if you had an heir of your own. And I know how happy it would make Lady Seiobo.”

 

“I command you to ignore my mother.” Her shocked giggle was much appreciated. “Pups will come eventually. And you need to understand that Okuri will never go away. If we had five children now, he would still be stirring up trouble. It is true I will need to name an heir one day, but that is years away. You don't need the pressure of Western family machinations on you.”

 

She touched the bold stripes on his face. “Why not? Am I not one of you?”

 

He heard the need for acceptance raw on her voice. “Of course you are. But you have enough to do here with training the archers and helping Gina. Let's concentrate on strengthening the peace treaty.”

 

“Agreed.” She turned so her back was pressed against his broad chest, and she reached and spread long, white hair over their shoulders, combing with her fingers.

 

Their bed had become a place of refuge, a haven from intrigue, War, and politics. But it meant so much more than their bodies pleasing each other. Lying in bed was the only opportunity for true privacy, to confide in whispers, to laugh loudly. He learned of her intelligence, her silly streak, her insecurities. And he found leaving it every morning to be increasingly difficult. “I should get up for inspections,” he said. “It will be morning soon.”

 

She grabbed his arm tightly. “Don't you dare.” A threat in the form of a small, sharp pulse of energy emanated from her hand and stung his flesh. “The sky has barely begun to lighten. The troops can wait another half an hour.”

 

There was a series of gentle tugs on his hair, and he could see her nimble fingers moving. “What are you up to?”

 

“Braiding our hair together.” She laughed lightly. “Now you'll be forced to stay in bed.”

 

“I shouldn't have woken you,” he said, too amused to be irritated. “You are sometimes the most ridiculous creature.”

 

After several minutes she announced she was finished and moved to the side of the bed, yanking their joined hair. “Move with me!” she chided. She retrieved her knife from the pack lying next to the bed and sliced off the braid, both somewhat saddened to be released from the other.

 

“Did you just cut my hair?” he asked with mock outrage, grabbing her about the waist and quickly pinning her down.

 

She shrieked happily and put her arms around his shoulders, careful that the plait didn't unravel. “You've got plenty to spare.”

 

He growled softly and kissed the side of her neck. “What are your plans for the day, naughty miko?”

 

“I have some letters to answer before archery lessons this morning, that is if I'm not too busy killing my maid and your servant. It's only been three days, and already their bickering is making me crazy.”

 

“As interesting a spectacle as that would be, I think it's time I stop ignoring my responsibilities and go to the barracks.” The background sounds of the manor coming to life were a reminder of the outside world, always selfish in its need to part them.

 

While he dressed, Kagome fished some rags to absorb her blood from the chest containing her clothes. They were at the bottom with the letters she had received from the Sisterhood, reminding her how much correspondence she had to catch up on. “I'll come find you later,” she said as he walked away.

 

XXXXX

 

Dear Lady Tokuhoshi, I first would like to express my sincere thanks for the kindness you showed me while at the Shiga stronghold. I was perhaps too overwhelmed at the time to convey my gratitude adequately; your friendship and understanding was much appreciated. General Inutaisho has asked me to stay in communication with Ningen society, in order to continue to strengthen ties and so that we may better understand each other. The end of War benefits the whole of the Land, but my own interests are purely selfish. Not only is it vital for me to believe that the future I sacrificed when I agreed to play a role in the peace treaty not be in vain, I need to hope that my future hanyou children can live in a world where their two races coexist, working together for the good of all. I wish to reassure you that I am treated well, have been accepted into the household as a daughter by the Lord and Lady of the West, and am happy. The Youkai with whom I am living have felt the losses and tragedies as acutely as any Ningen family; indeed, the way our histories intermingle leads me to realize the misery of War has done unspeakable damage indiscriminately and that the only way we can completely heal is by helping one another. I feel I must inquire about some news I've recently learned. The death of Lord Fukuguchi was mourned by the Youkai here, but we were told his seat is currently occupied by Takeo Hino. That name, one that haunted me for years, had largely been forgotten, part of my unfortunate past. Please tell me there is a mistake, that—”

 

“Ouch!” Kagome was seated at the table in their bedroom, tediously finishing her last letter, constantly interrupted, first by breaking up the spat between Yukika and Jaken, and currently by the former's attempts to comb and style her hair while she wrote.

 

“Sorry, Lady Kagome. Your hair is just so full of snarls. And Lady Seiobo said…” Yukika had quickly set herself up in the manor, already making friends with the servants, flirting with the soldiers, and engaging in an annoying turf war with Jaken over which of them had primacy in Sesshoumaru's quarters. This latest skirmish involved Yukika's singing while she tidied. Apparently she had committed some of the more bawdy lyrics of the outpost troops to memory, leaving Jaken more bug-eyed and irate than usual.

 

Kagome knew that Lady Seiobo had encouraged Yukika to behave like a real lady's maid—help her to dress and arrange her hair, despite her insistence it was all unnecessary. She thought it amusing at first, given the rough conditions under which Yukika been raised, but had to admit she could do wonders with a small amount of cosmetics and a few hair pins and combs. “Yukika, you really don't need to waste your time on my hair this morning. I'm going to archery practice and then to train as soon as I get these letters delivered to the aviary.” If I ever get them finished, she added silently.

 

“Ooo, archery practice! Can I come and watch?”

 

“Ah, no,” Kagome said firmly. Yukika had loitered around the training arena the day before. She had a fresh, pretty face and distinct lack of the considerable modesty had by all the other females who inhabited the stronghold, and the unmated soldiers were distracted and clumsy trying to impress her.

 

Yukika sighed, all youthful drama. “But I just don't feel that I have a purpose here. It's so different from home. Here the servants do everything—cleaning, laundry…and Jaken scolds me for being in the way. I only want to be helpful and fit in.”

 

Kagome had a twinge of sympathetic guilt. She had only wanted to find her place when she first arrived as well. “I know a task for you. Right now I'm busy maintaining communications with my Ningen contacts. I'll put you in charge of keeping it organized for me.” Kagome set the pen down and turned around. “This is what I want you to do. Find three trays and have a supply of parchment and ink ready for me every morning. Any letters I write I will put in the first tray. You will roll and deliver them to the aviary and, twice a day, fetch any that have arrived for me. Those you will put in the second tray. Once read, I will set them in the third tray, so we will both know those which are no longer your concern. Does that sound alright?”

 

Though fixing hair and mooning over soldiers was a pleasurable pastime, Yukika jumped at the prospect at being involved in something more important. “I won't disappoint you! I don't read very well, but I know I can keep three trays separate.” She picked the comb back up. “At least let me finish working out the tangles. I'm almost done.”

 

Kagome decided they had come to a satisfactory conclusion and sat back while her unruly hair was tamed. She relaxed under Yukika's sure hands and noticed the braided rope of her and Sesshoumaru's hair, discretely laid in the shadows on her chest of clothes, momentarily forgotten. She picked it up, stroking the heavy silkiness. Done in fishbone style, the black against the white was distinct at the top, but gradually blended together as the braid lengthened, so that by the end the color was deep grey, the silver strands glinting in the bright morning sun. Kagome wound it twice around, then picked a blue ribbon from Yukika's pile of adornments and wove it through the hair, securing it into a circlet.

 

Yukika watched with a small smile; perhaps there was a fanciful side to the serious future Lady of the West after all.

 

XXXXX

 

Akeno Sato strode to the aviary, harshly reminding himself to stay fixed on the prize he had been promised. Fortunately his opportunism was far louder in his head than his conscience.

 

He had followed directions perfectly, acting the dutiful, trustworthy son, all the while feeding information to Lord Okuri. He used his skills at decryption and reported on the meetings with the other three Houses, the spies' intelligence, and the status of the Western armies. It was an act of betrayal, both of his birth father, Lord Sato, General Inutaisho's most trusted advisor, and his foster family, the Yamaguchi clan, who had all recently sworn allegiance to the leader of the West. They played a dangerous game, but if Lord Okuri's plans of a coup came to fruition, he would be rewarded with Azami and hence would sire a future leader of the West.

 

In the beginning his ambition overcame his doubts, and the risk seemed worth the payoff. However, his misgivings were increasing as Okuri's requests grew. As a Taiyoukai, Akeno had certain privileges in sending and receiving communications, but the secret couriers on whom they had been relying were always at risk of being compromised. Discovery would mean certain execution. And now he was being asked to do the impossible. Lord Okuri recently demanded he obtain information on Lady Kagome, seducing her if necessary. This was his first inkling that Okuri may be parting with reality. He saw Sesshoumaru and his mate together and knew he'd have better luck bedding Lady Seiobo than the Ningen woman. What was particularly troubling though was the guilt. He had spent his youth fostered with the Yamaguchis, and now he was finally developing the relationship with his father that he had craved for decades, useful for the purposes of gathering information…and hanging dishonor over his head.

 

He pushed the guilt away. The damage could not be undone. He was forced to keep playing, praying for success. His problem currently was how to get close to Sesshoumaru's mate.

 

“Excuse me. I'm looking for the aviary.”

 

His thoughts were interrupted. In front of him was a pretty, buxom Youkai whom he did not recognize. Her state of dress was better than a servant, but she had an unpolished air about her that he was not used to encountering in the manor.

 

“I'm Lady Kagome's new maid. She asked me to take her letters to the aviary to be sent into Ningen territory. She gave me directions, but I got distracted and now I fear I'm lost.”

 

Lord Akeno felt like a gift had just been dropped in his lap. He smiled down at the young female and was pleased at her glowing reaction to his attention. “Come with me. I'm on my way there. And what, my dear, is your name?”

 

XXXXX

 

It was late in the day, afternoon sun already making a quick retreat behind the walls of the stronghold, when Kagome made her way up to the infirmary to visit Gina and see if there was any work to be done.

 

Archery practice had gone well; the younger archers were improving their eye and technique daily, and several had the potential to become excellent marksmen. After practice, her cramps finally abated, she had spent some time going through forms in the arena. Only a few soldiers had been present, giving her some appreciated near-privacy to concentrate on the movements, always gaining new depth of understanding of the timeless simplicity, the power held so carefully. She missed the camaraderie of doing forms with other miko. There was energy to be had in a group performing the same motions in synchronicity, but the solitude, once accepted, was embraced.

 

Inside the infirmary, Gina was attending to a crying Shippou. She looked up and saw Kagome rushing toward them. “Kagome, thank the gods. Hold his hand steady for me. He keeps flinching and I can't get a tight grip.”

 

“Torturing the youth again?” she joked, then saw Shippou had a long splinter embedded deeply under one of his claws. “Oh Shippou, that looks horrible.”

 

The little kitsune sniffed bravely for her benefit. “I got a sliver. It hurts.”

 

“I'm sure it does.” Kagome sat and gathered him into her lap. “Okay, sweetling, you relax and let Lady Gina remove that nasty thing.” She held his hand while Gina positioned her pliers, ready to yank the offending object. “Shippou,” Kagome said to distract him, giving Gina a swift nod to proceed, “I'll tell you a secret.”

 

“Really?” Shippou asked, turning to Kagome. Gina gave a quick tug and the thin piece of wood was freed. “Ow!”

 

“It's out. Done.”

 

All three sighed in relief as only a small amount of blood dripped from the wound.

 

“What's the secret?” Shippou asked while Gina wrapped the finger with a clean bandage.

 

Kagome smiled. “My birthday is tomorrow. I'll be twenty-one.”

 

Shippou laughed. “That's silly, Lady Kagome. I'm twenty-four.”

 

“What?” Kagome asked incredulously. “Twenty-four? You're just a child.”

 

Gina noted the Kagome's confusion. “Darling, didn't you know that Youkai age at different rates than Ningen? Surely you were taught that at the Sisterhood?”

 

Sharp awareness hit, leaving Kagome feeling pale and lost. “I…yes. I guess I remembering being told that. I just didn't realize.” Shock spread across her face. “Gina…how old are you?”

 

“One hundred five,” Gina said gently.

 

“One hundred…” Kagome stared at her clenched hands and asked numbly, “What exactly is the life expectancy of Inuyoukai?”

 

Shippou sensed something was wrong and retreated behind Gina.

 

“It's difficult to say. Because of War, few die a natural death, but typically at least three or four hundred years for Taiyoukai.” She hated that this information was upsetting her friend. “Kagome, I assumed you knew.”

 

Kagome glanced up and smiled awkwardly. “Of course I knew. I was told as a child that Youkai are different from Ningen.” Suddenly overcome by a need to be alone, she stood with forced calm and said, “Gina, if it's alright, I need to go. I'll see you later.”

 

Shippou peeked around Gina and watched Kagome leave. “Is Lady Kagome really only twenty-one?”

 

“Yes, I guess so,” Gina said, putting her arm around him, wishing she could offer comfort to the one who really needed it. She understood Kagome's personality enough now to know her first impulse was to seek solitude, but she still worried. “Youkai and Ningen grow differently. We are separate species, after all.”

 

“Oh. I always forget that.”

 

“I think we all did,” Gina replied sadly.

 

XXXXX

 

Sesshoumaru was seated at his desk, reading a message from Kouga. Lord Haruto had been escorted back to the South, and he would be home in two days if the weather held. It was welcome news. As winter settled in, the likelihood of heavy snow increased, and everyone was happier when all were safely within the confines of the stronghold walls. Included was a short, private note for Azami. He was about to call for Jaken to deliver it, when he caught his cousin's scent. “Gina,” he said, when she appeared in the doorway and knocked softly.

 

“Sesshoumaru, I'm looking for Kagome. Is she here?”

 

“I haven't seen her since midday. I thought she was with you.” Gina's concerned expression was unusual. He was far more used to seeing her impertinence. “What is it?”

 

“I don't want to make something from nothing,” she said, shaking her head. “She's probably fine, but I wanted to make certain.”

 

He rose slowly, eyes narrowing with curiosity. “Explain.”

 

She took a deep breath, not wanting to interfere, but judged she was doing the right thing in telling him. “She told Shippou she is turning twenty-one tomorrow and learned just how few years that is to a Youkai. I don't think she realized the disparity in our life spans. Have you two never discussed it before?”

 

“No. I assumed she knew. Everyone knows that Youkai live longer than Ningen.”

 

“Knowing facts and understanding the meaning, I believe, can be vastly different things at times. She tried to hide her distress, but I could tell it bothered her. Would you like me to check on her?”

 

“No. I'll find her. Will you bring this to Azami?” He handed her a small scroll.

 

Gina nodded and took it, relieved that Sesshoumaru didn't merely brush off her concerns. “Poor girl…every time she feels like she's fitting in here, something happens to emphasize her otherness.”

 

Sesshoumaru thanked his cousin and left, cursing himself for not thinking to bring it up sooner. It didn't surprise him in the least that his mate would be shaken by the knowledge that her life would be so short comparatively.

 

XXXXX

 

The moon was new, a near-empty void in the black night sky, casting no light to lessen the brightness of the stars overhead. They had been there since the beginning of time, silent witnesses to all of history, the endless cycle of birth and death. Kagome sat on the hard, frozen ground, leaning against a huge gingko tree. She stared up through the bare branches at the blanket of stars, searching for peace with fate and her place in that cycle. Other than the fear of death when fighting Youkai as an active miko, she had never before contemplated her mortality. That she would die and those around her would continue to exist for decades and centuries left her feeling insignificant.

 

Her senses were suddenly on alert, prickled by a power so intense it could only be Sesshoumaru, his aura unmasked, approaching. Wordlessly, he sat next to her and covered her cold hands with one of his. The hand was large and warm and meant to give solace, but instead she felt only smaller.

 

“How old are you?” she asked without looking at him.

 

“I celebrated my centennial earlier this year.”

 

She closed her eyes wearily. He was older than a great, great grandfather would be. “How old is your mother?”

 

“Kagome…”

 

“How old is your mother?”

 

The question sounded more like an accusation. “One hundred sixty-three.”

 

A short, unhappy laugh escaped before she bit hard on her lower lip. “Sesshoumaru,” she said after a minute, “she looks like she's barely forty. You'll be her age when I die.”

 

“Kagome—”

 

“I'm going to turn into a withered, toothless old woman, and you'll look almost the same as you do now.”

 

“I knew this when I agreed to take a Ningen for a mate. It doesn't matter to me.”

 

“It matters to me!” she said harshly. “It isn't supposed to happen this way. We are supposed to grow old together.” She was dangerously close to crying. “I don't want to be feeble when you're strong. I don't want to be old alone.” I don't want you to stop loving me, she left unsaid.

 

He pulled her into his arms and stroked her hair. “My feelings for you won't change,” he whispered, reading her mind.

 

“Gods, I'm so stupid,” she said, stiffening. “Of course I knew we have different life expectancies…but I became so accustomed to thinking I'm one of you. It didn't even register…I'm such a fool.”

 

He tilted her chin up to look into her angry, sorrowful face. “You are one of us. You're mine and your place is with me.”

 

Her eyes challenged him. “With you for now. You'll outlive me by centuries. I'm temporary.”

 

“Stop talking about yourself that way.”

 

“Sesshoumaru,” she said flatly, “I won't even live long enough to see our children into adulthood.”

 

The pain of their reality hurt and his arms tightened around her, as though in comforting her, he could spare them both. “You don't know that,” he reasoned. “They will be half human. They may age as you do.”

 

“But we don't know.” She felt defeated and sought refuge from the truth, relaxing against him. “All I've ever wanted is a normal life.”

 

“The two of us. This is our normal. We need merely to accept it.”

 

She laughed, but without the hollowness her voice had held, recalling the words the miko Midori had spoken to her on more than one occasion. Child, don't fight against that which you cannot change; it is a battle you'll lose every time. “Acceptance. I've always had trouble with that.”

 

He sensed her mood was lightening and hoped to encourage it. “Miko, somehow I'm not surprised.”

 

Her laugh this time was happy and honest, and she looked up at him, self-consciously grinning. “I'm sorry. I must be such a trial for you.”

 

“Nothing a sound beating won't fix.”

 

“Oh? And is that a beating I am to receive, or you? Are you finally ready to spar with me?”

 

“Hn. Maybe someday,” he said.

 

“Really?” she asked, brightening. “Tomorrow?”

 

“Don't push it, miko.”

 

Snuggling deeper against him, she sighed, still sad, but trying not to fight. “This is our normal.” It was repeated silently in her head, anchoring her to the present. “I just remembered,” she said. “I have something for you.” She reached into her robe and pressed the braided hair into his hand. “A bracelet. See...I made it into a circle.”

 

“I thought it was customary for Ningen to receive a gift on his or her birthday, not give one.”

 

She smiled. “Nonetheless, I want you to have it.”

 

He nodded and closed his fist around it. “But for now I need to get you inside. You pitiful humans have the most tiresome tendency to be vulnerable to cold. And Jaken is most likely having fits trying to keep dinner warm.”

 

“Speaking of Jaken,” she said as he lifted her and sped toward the manor, “have you seen Yukika in our quarters?”

 

“No, not since this morning.”

 

“I wonder where she's gone off to.” Her momentary curiosity was replaced by their return to their bedroom and a hot mouth seeking her neck.