InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Phony Digits ❯ Out in the Wash ( Chapter 5 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

Disclaimer: InuYasha is the property of Rumiko Takahashi. I have nothing.

Chapter Five: Out in the Wash

When InuYasha exited his bedroom the following morning, his roommate gasped and jumped in surprise, inadvertently slinging his bowl of dry cereal across the countertops and floors.

"You startled me." Miroku said, clutching his chest.

"I live here, ya know." InuYasha grumped as he made his way into the kitchen.

"Yes, but you're usually at Kikyo's on Sunday morning. Did she cancel your weekly sex appointment or something?" Miroku asked facetiously.

"Actually...she broke up with me last night…" InuYasha said as he pulled out a chair from the kitchen table and plopped down.

Miroku turned slowly to InuYasha with a look of what could only be described as restrained jubilation. "Oh...I'm...so sorry?" he said in the least sincere tone InuYasha had ever heard. "What happened?"

"She pretty much gave me an ultimatum..."

"Pretty much?" Miroku repeated curiously, crossing his arms and leaning back against the cabinets, waiting for his friend to elaborate.

"Well, she told me she wanted to get married and have kids, I told her I didn't. Then she said she was done wasting her time and stormed out." he said, giving a little shrug.

Miroku walked over to his roommate and gave his shoulder a friendly squeeze. "You dodged a bullet, brother." he said in consolation.

"I kinda feel the same way to be perfectly honest..." InuYasha said. "I can't help but feel guilty though...I could tell she was hurt. I didn't mean to string her along or anything. I guess I just always thought she was sort of like 'all business' and not into the whole 'family life' thing..."

"I'd be lying if I said I wasn't surprised myself." Miroku said. "So you think it's really over?" he asked, not even attempting to hide his hopeful tone. "You don't think she's going to come crawling back after she's had time to cool off?"

"I don't know, but it doesn't really matter. I'm not gonna change my mind." InuYasha said shaking his head. "And you know she never changes hers…"

Miroku nodded. "Stick to your guns, man." he encouraged him as he poured two mugs of coffee and brought them to the table, taking a seat across from InuYasha. "I gotta be honest with you, I couldn't stand her. And that's really saying something coming from me, because she's a woman, and you know how much I love women…"

InuYasha snorted. "Everybody know's how much you love women."

"I'm serious, InuYasha. I wouldn't have touched her with a ten-foot pole." he carried on.

InuYasha shot his roommate a dangerous glare, letting out a low growl at the backhanded insult.

"But to each his own!" Miroku said, throwing up his hands in surrender and chuckling nervously.

InuYasha grumbled under his breath. Miroku could only make out the words "ass" and "letch" among the jumble of curses.

"Speaking of women," Miroku said in attempt to change the touchy subject. "any more texts from the mystery girls?"

"Fake number girl texted me last night at like one A.M." InuYasha said nonchalantly as he took a sip of his coffee.

Miroku's eyes lit up. "Oh, really?" he drawled. "What did she say? Did you ask her if her cop friend is hot?" he asked excitedly.

"NO! I told you I'm not asking that."

"Then give me her number and I'll ask her."

"I ain't givin' you her number."

"Why not? She gave out your number to half the city."

"I don't care. I'm not giving you her number you pervert."

"Ahh… I see." Miroku grinned slyly. "Don't worry, InuYasha, I'm not going to try and steal her away from you."

InuYasha let out a frustrated growl. "I'm not worried about you stealing anybody. I told you already, I ain't interested in the bitch!" he ground out.

"So I can have her number then?"

"No." InuYasha said, crossing his arms in a huff like a petulant child.

Miroku sighed. "Well, maybe I'll just have to start speeding or running stop signs…"

InuYasha narrowed his eyes at his friend. "Are you serious? You don't even know what she looks like." he said incredulously.

"This is my fantasy, Yash. She can look however I want her to look. Besides, it's not like I can see her face when I've got my forehead pressed to the hood of my car while she's frisking me... Slowly running her hands up my inseams..." Miroku said dreamily.

InuYasha rolled his eyes. "You're more likely to end up getting a cavity search from her partner, 'Officer McFriendlyfingers'."

Miroku's eyes snapped open as he broke from his reverie. "There you go shattering my dreams again." he said, shaking his head dejectedly. "It is a sad man who steals the joy of his friends…"

"Shut up ya drama queen!" InuYasha cut him off.

"Ask Fake Number if her friend is a beat cop or a detective."

"No."

"Please." Miroku clasped his hands and begged. "I gotta know!"

"No."

"You won't grant this dying man his one wish?!" Miroku said theatrically.

"So you're dying now?" InuYasha mocked him.

"I'm going to die if I don't meet her!"

InuYasha snorted as he pulled his phone from his pocket. "Alright, fine." he finally conceded.

Miroku instantly perked up.

InuYasha gave him an unamused look. "Glad to see you survived your near death experience." he said facetiously as he began to type a message to Fake Number.

"It was touch-and-go there for a moment." Miroku said.

'Is your friend a beat cop or a detective?' InuYasha typed and sent.

"I wonder if she'll respond right away?" Miroku asked. He was answered by a loud ding from InuYasha's phone. He moved around the table to sit beside his roommate, leaning in to spy on the conversation.

'Detective. Why?' the text read.

'My roommate wanted to know. She is his fantasy girl now. He was thinking about getting himself arrested on purpose to try and meet her.'

'Lol. Well tell him he unfortunately might have to murder someone. She's a homicide detective.'

"No way!" Miroku said, slapping his hand against the table. "Oh my god! I think I'm in love with this woman, InuYasha!"

"You're in love with every woman for a few minutes." InuYasha shot back.

'Then maybe I'll just kill him so they can get up close and personal.'

"Hey!" Miroku feigned offense. "Give me that." he said as he snatched the phone from InuYasha's hand and began to type.

'Hi, I'm InuYasha's roommate Miroku…'

"No!" InuYasha stopped him. "Don't tell her my name. It's too uncommon."

"O-kay." Miroku said as he backspaced.

'Hi, I'm Miroku the roommate. I was just wondering if your cop friend is a babe?'

'My 17 y/o brother says she's at the top of his to-do list.' was her reply.

At that, both men let out a chuckle. "I have to meet these girls, Yash. I can not live knowing that these dream girls are out there somewhere and I haven't met them…Do you still have Lady Cop's number in here?" he said as he began searching InuYasha's messages.

"No." InuYasha said as he snatched the phone back from Miroku. "I'm not giving you her number."

"Why not?!" Miroku pouted. "Why do you get them both and I get nothing?!"

"Because she will know I gave it to you."

"No she won't. I'll be sure to wait until enough time has passed that she won't suspect you."

"When she finds out you're my roommate, she will know it was me."

"It won't matter. By the time she finds out who I am she will already be madly in love with me, and she'll be grateful to you for giving me her number." Miroku said seriously.

InuYasha rolled his eyes and sighed. "Whatever." he said, passing the phone back to his roommate. "But just Lady Cop's number!" he added sternly.

"Thank you!" Miroku said, grinning knowingly as he pulled out his own phone and typed the number into his contacts under the name 'Sexy Cop'. He stood from the table and started toward his room.

"Hey! Aren't you gonna clean up this mess?" InuYasha said, motioning towards the bits of cereal littering the kitchen.

"I don't have time right now. I have to get ready for church." Miroku said without turning around.

<<>>

Kagome awoke the following morning to the sounds and smells of breakfast being prepared. For as long as she could remember, her mother always cooked a big meal on Sunday mornings. Even when her father had died unexpectedly and their lives were thrown into chaos and confusion, Sunday morning breakfasts had remained the one consistency.

She put on her fuzzy purple robe over her pajamas, slipped her phone into the pocket, and padded down the stairs in sock-feet. For a moment she could almost imagine she was a little girl again, in her childhood home on the grounds of an ancient shrine in Tokyo.

When she rounded the corner she saw that she was, as usual, the last one to arrive at the table.

"Good morning, Sleepyhead!" her mother's smiling face greeted her.

"Good morning, Mama." she responded groggily.

She took a seat next to her teenage brother who was busy stuffing his face with food.

"Did you leave any for me?" Kagome teased.

"Not on purpose." he replied through a mouthful of scrambled eggs.

Kagome felt her phone vibrate against her hip. She drew it from her pocket and found she had received a text from Phony Digits.

'Is your friend a beat cop or a detective?' the message read.

"Kagome," her mother said. "What's the rule about cell phones at the table?"

"It will only take a second, Mama." she said as she typed.

'Detective. Why?'

"Who is it?" Souta asked, furrowing his brow.

Kagome explained the situation to him.

"So you don't actually know this person, then?" he asked.

"Nope."

Souta leaned over so he could see the conversation taking place.

'My roommate wanted to know. She is his fantasy girl now. He was thinking about getting himself arrested on purpose to try and meet her.'

'Lol. Well tell him he unfortunately might have to murder someone. She's a homicide detective.'

'Then maybe I'll just kill him so they can get up close and personal.'

Kagome and Souta giggled at the response.

"This is very rude behavior you two." their mother said. "You aren't planning on meeting this person are you?"

"No, Mother." Kagome sighed.

"I'm serious, Kagome. It's not safe. You don't know what kind of person he is." she said.

"I don't know what kind of person any person is, Mama." Kagome retorted. "But don't worry. I'm not meeting him."

'Hi, I'm Miroku the roommate. I was just wondering if your cop friend is a babe?'

She took a moment to think of her reply. Hmmm...how would I describe Sango…

"How would you describe Sango, Souta?" Kagome asked her little brother.

"Tell him she's at the top of my to-do list." he joked.

"Souta Higurashi!" their mother scolded.

The siblings burst out in a fit of giggles.

"I can't believe I've raised such unruly children." Mrs. Higurashi said, lifting her teacup to her lips to hide her own smile.

'My 17 y/o brother says she's at the top of his to-do list.' Kagome chuckled to herself as she hit send.

"Okay you two, I'm serious now. Eat your food before it gets cold." their mother said.

"Yes, Mama." they said in unison as Kagome slipped her phone back into her pocket.

<<>>

A/N:

Mrs. H actually showing concern for Kagome's safety is a little OOC, I know. Lol.

I usually update POYH on Mondays, but I pulled a switcheroo this week because I just needed a little more time. Hopefully I'll have ch. 16 done by Wednesday. If you aren't reading POYH, please disregard this message.

-SW