InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Phony Digits ❯ Dull as Dishwater ( Chapter 27 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

Disclaimer: InuYasha is the property of Rumiko Takahashi. I have nothing.

Chapter Twenty-seven: Dull as Dishwater

"You did tell them I was coming, right?" Kagome asked Sango as the two of them ascended the front steps of the apartment complex where Miroku and InuYasha lived.

"Umm...was I supposed to?" Sango replied as she lifted her hand and pushed the buzzer.

Kagome let out an exasperated sigh. "So I'm just showing up unannounced and uninvited?"

"What better way to show up than to have the element of surprise? It gives you the advantage."

"Advantage? Element of surprise?" Kagome repeated flatly. "We're having dinner with them Sango, this isn't an ambush."

"Come on up," Miroku's voice beckoned from the intercom, and they heard the sound of the lock click open as he buzzed them in.

"C'mon," Sango said as she grabbed her friend's hand and dragged her toward the door. "It's gonna be fine."

OOOOOOOOOO

"Kagome!" Miroku greeted enthusiastically as he opened his door and caught sight of the unexpected guest. "What a pleasant surprise!"

"Where's InuYasha?" Sango asked as she walked in—straight past Miroku—and looked around the apartment, noticing the absence of said surly hanyou. "Did he have to work late or something?"

"What am I, chopped liver?" Miroku asked, pressing a hand to his chest and feigning offense.

"Oh, sorry," Sango apologized sheepishly before giving him a hug and whispering in his ear, "I was just looking forward to seeing his reaction."

Miroku chuckled as he pulled back and looked at his watch. "He's usually home by now. He must have gotten sidetracked by a gyro truck or something."

At that, Sango retrieved her phone from her pocket, tapping away at the screen before lifting it to her ear.

"What are you doing?" Kagome asked curiously.

"I'm calling him and telling him to get his ass home. I'm starving!" she said, propping her free hand on her hip as she switched her attention to the man on the other end of the call. "Where are you?" She paused, and Kagome and Miroku both craned their necks, straining to eavesdrop on the other side of the conversation, but were unsuccessful.

Sango huffed impatiently at whatever it was that InuYasha told her. "Are you serious? We're waiting for you to get home so we can eat dinner...are you still in line right now…? Okay...okay, fine...yeah, okay, just hurry up!" she said before lowering the phone from her ear and ending the call.

"Gyros?" Miroku guessed when Sango dropped her phone back into her pocket.

"Pork rinds," she amended and Miroku and Kagome both chuckled in response. "He said for me to tell you to go ahead and order dinner now and he'll pick it up on his way here."

Miroku nodded before walking to the kitchen to retrieve the appropriate takeout menu from the collection the two men had amassed on the side of their refrigerator. "You should have told him Kagome was here," he said. "I bet he would have made it back in record time."

Sango chuckled while Kagome merely blushed.

Miroku ordered their dinner and the three of them engaged in small talk for about half an hour before they were interrupted by the sound of the front door opening and a disgruntled InuYasha dramatically stomping in, grumbling curses under his breath. As he kicked off his shoes, he suddenly froze in place and lifted his head, sniffing the air in a very dog-like way before whipping his head around toward the table where the other three occupants of the room were congregated.

His surprise widened eyes locked with Kagome's and he managed to choke out a rather breathy "Hi," in greeting.

Kagome greeted him back with a sheepish "Hi," of her own.

"Hiiiiii," Miroku and Sango drawled out, simultaneously mocking their friends before breaking out a fit of snickering.

Their teasing seemed to shake InuYasha from his temporary daze and he rolled his eyes as he trudged across the living room into the kitchen and sat the Chinese take-out filled bags on the table. "I didn't know you were coming, Kagome."

"Sorry I...didn't mean to impose. I thought Sango told you I was coming," she said, shooting a glance at Sango. "I did say 'I'll see you tonight' when we were texting earlier."

"No, you said 'I'll talk to you tonight'," he corrected.

"Oh...sorry...I thought you knew-"

"It's fine, Kagome," he cut her off. "I was just surprised to see you. It's a good surprise. Now, which one of these is who's?"

"Allow me," Miroku interjected as he pulled the bag of food from InuYasha hands and began to distribute it.

Once the four of them were finished eating—and Kagome was completely stuffed from being forced to try 'at least one bite' of every dish that InuYasha ordered—they cleaned up their plates and returned to the table.

For a moment they sat in semi-awkward silence before Sango announced, "I'm bored."

"Well, what do you guys usually do after you eat?" Kagome asked.

"Usually we watch basketball, but there aren't any more games until the final four on Saturday," InuYasha answered.

"Well why don't we play a game or something?" Kagome suggested.

"Yeah! A drinking game!" Sango shouted enthusiastically.

"Hell no!" InuYasha protested. "I'm not playing any drinking games!"

"Oh," Sango said with a chuckle. "That's right, I almost forgot you can't drink."

Kagome turned to InuYasha, the silent question of why etched into her furrowed brow.

"What are you lookin' at me like that for?" he said, "I ain't a alcoholic or anything, jeez... I just don't drink."

"And for good reason!" Miroku chimed in.

"Shut up!" InuYasha ground out. "So what game are we playing?" he said, trying to divert the attention to a different and less embarrassing subject.

"Do you have any board games?" Kagome asked, and InuYasha felt immensely relieved that she'd let the subject drop. Whether she'd sensed his discomfort and was being considerate or she was just oblivious, he wasn't sure, but he was grateful.

"We don't have any board games, but we have video games."

"I suck at video games," Sango said.

"Oh, I know! Let's play 'I'm the dullest person'!" Kagome suggested.

"I've never heard of that game. How do we play?" Miroku asked.

"Each person gets five pennies, and we go around the circle taking turns saying something we've never done, and if someone else in the circle has done that thing then they have to put a penny in the cup." On cue, Sango placed a plastic cup in the middle of the table that she'd retrieved from the kitchen. "So you'll want to choose things that you've never done, but you think we have. The game ends when one of us runs out of pennies. The person who still holds the most pennies at the end is the winner."

"Are we betting on the winner? 'Cause if so, my money's on you," Sango joked and Kagome rolled her eyes.

"Ha ha. Very funny," she sarcastically responded.

"So it's basically 'Never have I ever'?" InuYasha asked.

"Basically," Kagome answered, "but it's a betting game instead of a drinking game."

"If it's a betting game, then let's use dollars instead of pennies."

"Let's use tens," Sango suggested.

"Fives," InuYasha asserted, quite sure he didn't have enough cash in his possession to use tens.

"Okay, each penny is worth five dollars," Miroku announced. "We'll settle up with the winner after the game is over. Agreed?"

"Agreed," everyone repeated and nodded in unison. Miroku went into his room and after a couple minutes exited with a plastic zip-top bag filled with poker chips. "I thought these would be better than pennies, this way it will be easier to calculate who owes what at the end," he said as he doled out chips to each of them in different colors. "Okay, who goes first?"

"Let's say dealer goes first, that can be you Miroku, since you handed out the chips, and then we will go counterclockwise around the table," Kagome suggested.

"Okay...let's see here," Miroku said rubbing his chin as he contemplated his first move. "I have never-"

"No," Kagome stopped him, "you have to say 'I'm the dullest person because I've never blah blah blah'."

"Oh, okay," Miroku nodded in understanding before starting over. "I'm the dullest person because I've never been to Japan."

The other three occupants of the table let out defeated groans and tossed their poker chips into the cup. "Good one," Sango said. "We may have underestimated you."

Miroku gave a smug grin.

Kagome, who was sitting to Miroku's right at the round dining table was next up. "Umm...I'm the dullest person because I've never—" There were so many things she could say, she basically had the game in the bag, unfortunately she was way too embarrassed to admit to most of the things she hadn't experienced. "—been camping," she finished, remembering the conversation she'd had with InuYasha at the pancake restaurant.

"Damn," Sango said as she and the two men cast their chips into the cup.

"You've really never been camping Kagome?" Miroku asked. "You should have InuYasha take you sometime. He's quite the rugged outdoorsman."

"He said he'd never go camping with a human ever again!" Kagome said.

"InuYasha!" Miroku scolded. "How very ungentleman-like."

"You're one to talk, seein' as how you're the one that turned me against camping with humans in the first place," InuYasha defended.

"Well, it's not right to punish the whole class when one student is tardy," was Miroku's reasoning.

"Fine, whatever," InuYasha huffed. "Anyways, is it my turn?"

"Yes," Kagome said with a nod, "and by 'fine whatever' do you mean yes?"

"Keh. Whatever," he grumbled.

"That's about as close to a yes as you're going to get from him, Kagome," Miroku said.

"I'm gonna hold you to it, then," Kagome said.

"Alright," InuYasha started, seemingly ignoring her attempts to persuade him. "I'm the dullest person because I've never…" he paused and then pointedly looked across the table at his roommate, "had sex in a public bathroom," he finished.

Miroku dropped his head with a sigh and hesitantly reached out to drop a blue chip into the cup.

"A public bathroom? Really?" Sango said. "I'm sorry Miroku, but that is disgusting."

"It was at the Mandarin Oriental!" he defended. "It was the classiest bathroom I've ever seen!"

"Still…" Kagome said, scrunching her face in disgust. "A bathroom?"

Miroku looked across the table to his roommate. "InuYasha, you were at that wedding too. Help me out here!" he pleaded.

"The bathrooms were pretty nice," InuYasha agreed and Miroku's face lit up, but then quickly dropped when he added, "but I didn't feel compelled to do anything other than piss in them."

Both of the girls laughed and Miroku gave a dejected sigh. "Can we move on, please."

"Yes, let's," Kagome agreed. "Sango, I think it's your turn."

"Okay," Sango began with a sly grin. "I'm the dullest person...because I've never had a threesome."

Miroku let out a defeated groan as he reluctantly tossed in another chip.

"Gosh, Miroku!" Kagome gasped, sounding somewhat scandalized.

"They're just ganging up on me!" he defended. "They're stacking the deck!"

"You stacked the deck against yourself by being such a slut," Sango teased.

"It was college!" he defended.

"We all went to college, that's no excuse," InuYasha refuted.

"Well, it's your turn again now Miroku, so give us your worst," Sango said.

"Hmm…" Miroku turned to Sango and rubbed his chin as he thought. "Let's see...Oh, I know! I'm the dullest person because I've never touched a dead body," he said after a moment of contemplation, knowing he'd at least have the two women on this one.

He was surprised when all three of his friends dropped a chip in the cup. "Even you, InuYasha?" he asked.

"My grandma…" he said grimly. "I had to shake her a little to make sure she was really dead...it just seemed too good to be true."

They all laughed and Sango commented, "No love lost there I take it?"

InuYasha shook his head. "It'd been three days since she died and I was sure it was only a matter of time before Satan sent her back."

"This conversation it going downhill fast," Kagome cut in. "Whose turn is it next?"

"I do believe that would be you," Miroku answered.

"Okay then, let's see." She tapped her chin as she thought, then an idea came to her. "Oh! I'm the dullest person because I've never been on a motorcycle!" she said excitedly.

"Dammit!" Sango cursed as she dropped in a chip, "you're killing me here!"

Kagome winced. "I'm sorry. How many do you have left?"

Sango held up the one, white chip she still possessed. "Just one."

"Me too," Miroku added as he put his second to last chip into the cup.

"You've never ridden a motorcycle, InuYasha?" Kagome asked.

He snorted. "What would I need to ride a motorcycle for?" he said, his youkai speed being the obvious answer.

"Oh right. I guess people are more likely to ride you, huh?" Sango casually remarked.

"Ride him?" Miroku repeated, letting out a giggle that was reminiscent of a twelve year old boy being told his first dirty joke.

Sango rolled her eyes at his immaturity and explained. "Sure, you know, like on his back," she said, patting her shoulders. "I try to stay in decent shape, just in case I have to chase somebody down myself, but usually it's easier just to ride Renji on the rare occasion we have a foot chase. He's super fast. I've clocked with my radar gun at one-eighteen. That's a full forty miles per hour faster than the second fastest youkai at the precinct. He might even be the fastest in the whole city."

"I'm glad to know the taxpayer's dollars are being put to good use," Miroku said.

"Hey, everybody has a slow work day every once in awhile," Sango defended.

"Yeah," Kagome agreed. "And a slow day at work for us is a good day for everybody."

"Well, I suppose that's true," Miroku agreed.

"Now," Sango said, clapping her hands to draw attention. "Back to the game. Whose turn is it?"

"It's InuYasha's turn," Kagome answered turning to him, "and if you knock out Miroku or Sango's last chip the game will be over."

InuYasha nodded to acknowledge that he heard her.

"Don't listen to her InuYasha," Miroku interjected. "If the game ends now, she'll win. She still has three chips, you only have two."

"Alright…" InuYasha said, contemplating his move. Would he end the game, or would he target Kagome and level the playing field and allow himself a chance to win? "I'm the dullest person because I…" he paused, looking back and forth between Miroku and Kagome, letting the tension build, "because I don't have any tattoos," he finished, his gaze settling on Miroku and giving a smug grin.

Miroku's mouth fell open. "Hey man! What happened to bros before—OW!" he was interrupted by Sango's fist pummeling his shoulder.

"You won't finish that sentence if you know what's good for you," she threatened, then picked up her final chip and tossed it into the cup along with Miroku's.

Miroku brows rose in surprise and subtle excitement. "You really have a tattoo, Sango?" he asked.

She heaved a sigh and dropped her head down into her hands.

"I'm going to take that as a yes."

"It's not something I'm proud of."

"Oh, come on. It can't be that bad. Let's see it."

"I'll let you see it on two conditions."

"Name them."

"Condition one:" She held up a finger. "Don't laugh."

"Okay," he nodded. "I promise I won't laugh."

"And that goes for you two, too," she said, pointing across the table to InuYasha and Kagome and they nodded in agreement.

"You've never even seen it?" InuYasha asked Kagome and she simply shook her head.

"What's the second condition?" Miroku asked, hoping to speed up the unveiling.

"Condition two:" She held up two fingers. "Don't be a pervert."

"A pervert?" He furrowed his brow and pressed his fingertips to his chest in a dramatic display of surprise.

She and InuYasha locked gazes, then both rolled their eyes simultaneously. "I mean...the placement of the tattoo might insinuate that I'm coming on to you or something by showing it to you, but I'm not," she clarified.

"Ah. I see."

She let out a slow breath. "Okay," she said with a sharp nod before turning her back to the table, unbuttoning her jeans, and pulling down the back left side just far enough to expose the red anarchist symbol tattoo. The three occupants of the table leaned in to get a better look, but no one spoke.

"Well?" she said nervously. "Isn't anyone going to say anything?"

"You must have been really into punk rock," Miroku commented, and while he wasn't laughing, his voice held an unmistakable tone of amusement.

"I was," Sango ground out through gritted teeth as she jerked her jeans back up, buttoned them, and turned back around to face him. "I was also seventeen years old and thought that I'd always love it."

"Could be worse," InuYasha reasoned. "Could be an old boyfriend's name. That's what I thought it was gonna be, the way you hyped it up."

"No, thank God. I'd probably have had it removed by now if that were the case."

"You know, you could easily have it covered up if you wanted to. See this?" Miroku said, holding out his left forearm, pulling up his sleeve and turning it to reveal the Japanese stylized clouds that covered either side. "This is a cover up. Can you tell?"

She grabbed his arm in her hands and turned it again, inspecting it carefully. "I can't see anything...but why do I get the feeling there's a naked lady under there somewhere?"

Miroku and InuYasha both laughed at her comment. "Always the perceptive one," Miroku said.

"So I'm right?" she asked and he nodded.

"I'm surprised you covered it up," Kagome chimed in. "I'd think that would be your pride and joy."

"It was killing my mother," Miroku explained. "And she was sure to let me know every time we spoke."

Now it was Sango's turn to laugh. "Well, it would be killing me too, so I'm glad it's gone."

"If you ever decide you want to have yours covered I can hook you up with the guy that did my arms. He's really good I think."

"Yeah," Sango nodded. "I'd like to do that, I just don't know what I would want to cover it with. I need some time to decide. I want it to be something pretty."

"You should get a portrait of your face, then," he spoke almost as if on reflex.

Sango gave him an incredulous look at his dismal failure of an attempt to be charming. "Really? Do you really think I should get a picture of my own face tattooed on my ass, or are you just trying to flatter me?" she asked, obviously already knowing the answer, but asking simply to make a point.

Miroku merely chuckled and lifted a hand to run his fingers through his hair awkwardly. "Well…"

"Better yet, maybe you should cover it with his face," Kagome jokingly suggested.

"Yeah!" Sango agreed. "That's a great idea! An ass on my ass. How fitting!"

"Hey!" Miroku protested as the girls broke out in a fit of giggles.

"You don't need to do that," InuYasha cut in. "If you wanna sit on his face I'm sure all you gotta do is ask."

Kagome and Sango both gasped in surprise before Sango belted out a laugh and asked, "Was that a joke, InuYasha? I didn't know you knew how to make one!"

"Keh. He gives me plenty of material to work with," he said, pointing his finger across the table to Miroku. At that, Kagome chuckled and InuYasha was relieved. For a moment he was worried he might have offended her, if the beet red blush that had spread across her face was any indication. His mother had always told him it was impolite to make crude jokes in mixed company, and he could recall several occasions where Kikyo had reminded him of that fact. He could almost feel a phantom pinch on his thigh, or kick to his shin under the table at the memory. He shuddered at the thought as he looked up from his internal musings to find the other occupants of the table settling up their debts, engrossed in animated conversation about...him. Oh God...

"...and he ate the whole thing," Miroku said and the girls burst out in laughter. "About an hour later he was hugging the toilet bowl, puking up his guts. He puked for four hours straight. I thought I was going to have to take him to the hospital."

"Oi! Unless you want me telling stories on you I suggest you can it!" InuYasha threatened.

"Is there anything you wouldn't eat on a bet, InuYasha?" Sango asked.

"Not if it's food," he defended.

"Yeah, but, raw chicken...gross..."

Kagome dumped the three remaining red poker chips from the cup and slid them across the table to InuYasha. "You owe me fifteen bucks, dog boy."

"More like chicken boy!" Sango interjected and all but InuYasha burst into another round of laughter.

He gave an annoyed snort as he pulled his wallet from the back pocket of his jeans to retrieve the cash. He was just sure he had at least fifteen dollars in there, but was now finding that the number was closer to nine. More like exactly nine…

"I'll be right back," he said as he stood and made his way to his bedroom. Surely he could find the difference in there somewhere. There was no way he was going all the way to the ATM for six dollars.

He checked his sock drawer and his night stand; he checked the pockets of all his dirty laundry—which lay strewn haphazardly about the floor. He checked inside his closet and under his bed. Inside the rumpled sheets on his mattress he found one dollar and seventeen cents in change that must have fallen out of his pockets during one of the many nights he fell asleep still dressed in his clothes. Under his chest of drawers his fingers found a mouse trap he'd forgotten about setting, and after an involuntary string of profanities poured from his mouth at the discovery, he heard the sound of footsteps coming down the hallway and a quiet knock against his door.

"Are you okay in there?" came Kagome's muffled voice through the door.

"I'm fine!" he called out from where he lay on the floor, prying the mousetrap off of his throbbing fingers and throwing it across the room.

"Can I come in?" she asked.

"No!"

"Why not? You've seen my room, it's only fair."

InuYasha scrambled for an excuse to keep her out of his pigsty of a bedroom. "Because...because I'm naked!" he called back.

"...Why are you naked?" she responded, her tone sounding slightly disturbed.

At the failure to find any acceptable excuse for why he would be naked, he sighed in defeat and said. "You can come in."

The door didn't open immediately, and after a moment of silence Kagome meekly said, "You aren't really naked, are you?"

"Keh. No."

Kagome slowly pushed the door open a crack and peeked her head inside. Her eyes surveyed the unmade bed and piles of laundry that littered the messy room before settling on InuYasha, where he still lay flat on his back on the floor.

"Are you okay?" she asked as she pushed the door further and stepped inside.

"I'm fine," he said as he sat up and stood to his feet. "I was just looking for something," he added before heading across the room and picking up the stack of mail that lay in a pile beside his trash can. He was pretty sure he remembered seeing a birthday card in there somewhere...

Kagome continued looking around his room curiously before her eyes eventually settled on a battered looking old katana that rested against the wall in the narrow crevice between his bed and nightstand. She picked up the sword and took a seat on the edge of his bed, laying it across her lap and pulling it a few inches from the scabbard to inspect the weapon. "You really should take better care of this," she said in response to the rusty, chipped blade.

"Keh," he scoffed. "Okay Mom…"

Kagome touched the blade and felt the familiar static-like zing of youkai energy against her fingertips. "Did your dad give you this?" she asked.

He turned to her, his brows raised in curiosity. "Yeah, how'd you know?"

"Feels like your youki, but unless you really, really lied to me about your age, you couldn't possibly have made it," she said as she turned the blade on her lap, eyeing it with careful scrutiny. "It's got to be at least a couple hundred years old, right?"

"More like five or six hundred," he corrected. "And don't go blaming the condition on me, it's looked like a piece of shit my whole life."

Kagome giggled and slid the sword back into the sheath before returning it to it place against the wall.

"So is that a part of your weapons training or something, being able to sense youkai weapons?" he asked as he thumbed through his mail, finally finding the card in question and removing the money his mom had stashed away inside, slipping it into his breast pocket.

"Nope, I've just always been able to do it. My dad had spiritual powers too. I guess it's genetic or something," she said with a shrug before standing up and using her hands to sweep away the dust particles on her jeans that were left behind by the old sword.

"So...is that all you can do? Sense youki?" he asked hesitantly.

"Why, are you scared?" Kagome asked, giving him a teasing grin.

"Keh! No! I'm just curious."

"No, that's not all...I can purify it too," she admitted reluctantly, hoping that this revelation wouldn't scare him away.

"Show me," he said, holding out his hand in her direction.

Kagome looked at his hand, her eyes growing wide as saucers. "You want me to purify you?!" she squeaked out.

"It won't hurt me," he assured. "I'm half human, remember?"

Kagome gave a nervous nod and stepped closer. "Hold your hand up like this," she said, holding her hand up, palm out before her as if she were preparing to take an oath.

InuYasha mirrored the action, and Kagome moved her palm to press flat against his. Without any obvious effort or strain on Kagome's part, he began to feel a slight tingle against his skin where their hands were joined. As the tingle grew stronger, he couldn't help but let out a tiny gasp of awe as he watched in fascination as his claws slowly receded down to form blunt human fingernails. "See?" she said, her casual tone belying the truly remarkable ability she'd just demonstrated.

When she dropped her hands from his, he felt his claws instantly extend back to their normal length, proving just how flawless her control over her powers truly was.

"That's amazing."

Kagome gave a shrug in response. "Not really. Lots of people can do it. Miroku has spiritual powers too I've noticed."

"Yeah," InuYasha said. "He purified me once when we were kids."

Kagome let out a horrified gasp. "That's terrible!"

InuYasha chuckled. "No, it was hilarious. His mom came and picked him up and busted his ass right there on the sidewalk in front of our house. I made faces at him out the window the whole time. It was totally worth being human for a few hours."

Kagome laughed and shook her head. "Why did he do it?"

"There was only one piece of butterscotch pie left, so we played 'rock, paper, scissors' for it, and when I lost I licked it so he wouldn't eat it."

"You cheater!"

"I was nine. Pie was at stake," he said as if that explained everything.

Kagome rolled her eyes and chuckled at his reasoning as she turned and made her way toward the door. "Let's go back out there before they get any ideas."

"Oh, hold on," InuYasha said as he pulled the cash from his pocket. "Here." He extended the folded bill toward her. "Do you have change for a hundred?"

She smiled and pushed his hand away. "Don't worry about it, I owe you for dinner anyway, so let's just call it even."

"How 'bout I buy you lunch tomorrow, then we can call it even," he suggested.

Kagome contemplated for a moment before saying, "I wish I could, but I have court tomorrow afternoon," sounding genuinely disappointed.

"I could meet you somewhere downtown," he said eagerly.

"I'd like to, really, but...maybe another day when I'm not so rushed. I wouldn't even be able to enjoy my food for worrying about making back to the courthouse in time."

InuYasha nodded in understanding, slightly disheartened at her rejection, but also reasonably sure she was being sincere and not just blowing him off. "Some other time then," he said as he opened the bedroom door and motioned her through.

As they walked back into the living room they were met by the sight of Miroku and Sango putting on their jackets and shoes. "Would you like a ride home Kagome?" Miroku asked.

"Sure," Kagome nodded.

"I'll ride along," InuYasha said as he approached the group.

"No, you won't," Miroku turned and whispered to his friend.

"And why the hell not?!" InuYasha hissed back.

"Look, InuYasha," Miroku whispered, looking back to the women who were distracted in conversation before grabbing his roommate's arm and pulling him aside. "I haven't had sex since Labor Day."

"Keh," InuYasha shrugged. "That's not so ba-"

"2013," Miroku clarified. "She's giving me signals, InuYasha. Do you understand? Strong signals. You are not going to ruin this for me."

"Let me drive Kagome home then. It's a win-win," InuYasha suggested.

Miroku paused, staring into blank space as he mulled over the idea before turning back toward the women and cheerfully clapping his hands together. "On second thought," he announced, "there simply isn't enough room in my truck for the three of us."

Sango narrowed her eyes at him skeptically, but didn't argue.

"I had forgotten that my backseat is filled to the brim with...vinyl...samples...vinyl siding samples." They were the stilted words of a lying man, but no one in the room seemed to acknowledge or care. "So, I apologize Kagome, but I will regretfully have to retract my offer to take you home. But I'm sure InuYasha would be more than happy take you in my stead."

Kagome waved her hands. "It's really no big deal," she said turning to InuYasha. "I can take the subway. I do it all the time."

"But it's dark out," InuYasha protested.

"It's 7:45," she said flatly.

"I don't care. You're not taking the subway by yourself at night. Either I drive you, or I ride the subway with you. Take your pick."

Kagome rolled her eyes, but conceded rather easily. "Fine, you can give me a ride."

"Excellent!" Miroku almost cheered. "Then it's settled," he said as he nearly skipped over to the entryway door and snatched up his keys. "It was a pleasure getting to know you Kagome, I do hope you'll be joining us again soon."

"I'll see you in the morning," Sango said as she too, made her way toward the door.

Kagome nodded and called out her goodbyes.

OOOOOOOOOO

Kagome followed as InuYasha led the way outside and to his car which was parked in the cramped lot adjacent to his building. "The green one?" she asked, pointing to the little sun-faded, forest green Volvo they were approaching.

InuYasha nodded. "I'd be a gentleman and open the door for you, but I don't think we can both fit in there," he said, motioning towards the narrow space between his car and the large pickup truck parked next to him.

"It's okay. It's the thought that counts," Kagome said as she turned to the side and shimmied into the small crevice. She opened the car door as wide as possible—which was, at most, a foot—and carefully maneuvered her way into the passenger's seat.

"Sorry about that," InuYasha said as he slid into the driver's seat—which was primarily composed of black electrical tape. "That asshole always parks so fucking close. I think he does it out of spite 'cause he knows I hate him."

"What do you hate him for?" Kagome asked as she pulled the seatbelt across her body.

"Because he parks so damn close to me!"

She furrowed her brow in confusion and shook her head. "That doesn't even make sense InuYasha."

"Well, whatever. He's doin' it on purpose, I know that much," InuYasha griped as he started the car and headed out of the lot.

"Nice ride by the way…" Kagome commented, and whether it was sincere or facetious InuYasha really couldn't tell, although his money was on the latter.

"This was my dad's old car that he gave to me when I turned sixteen. Look at the odometer."

Kagome leaned over and peeked at the massive mileage the car had racked up. "Wow."

"Just hit four-fifty last month," he said proudly. "Impressive, huh?"

"I honestly didn't even know it was possible," Kagome said with a smile.

"Miroku makes fun of it and calls it 'The Dinosaur', but it's been a damn good car. I have no complaints," he said, patting the dash with his hand as if the car were a living thing.

"I like it," Kagome chirped. "It's got character."

"Well, it ain't winnin' any awards or anything, but it's better than havin' a car payment."

"It might win an award for most miles on any car ever," Kagome joked.

"Oi! And just how many miles does your car have on it?"

"I don't even have a car."

"Exactly. So can it."

"Hey! I meant it as a compliment I'll have you know," she defended, turning to wag her finger at him in reprimand and noticing that he wasn't wearing his safety belt. "And put your belt on! Don't you know it's against the law not to wear your seatbelt?"

"Yes," InuYasha huffed. "I know it's against the law, Kagome, I just forgot because somebody was distracting me," he said as he buckled his seatbelt and turned to her with a smirk.

Kagome rolled her eyes. "Just drive."

InuYasha chuckled. "So...Sango says you're coming to the game next weekend?" he said changing the subject.

"Yeah. I should warn you though, I don't know anything about baseball."

"You should start studying then. They quiz you at the door, and if you don't pass they won't let you in," he said straight faced.

Kagome whipped her head around, a concerned look on her face as she asked, "Are you serious?"

"Oh sure," InuYasha nodded as he continued, "if you don't at least know all the players names there's no way you're gonna get through the gates."

Kagome paused for a moment of contemplation before letting out a huff. "You're messing with me," she said flatly.

"It's just so easy," InuYasha said with a laugh.

"You're such a butthead."

"Butthead?" he repeated. "Kagome, that is so offensive. Please, say asshole next time."

"Fine…A-hole."

InuYasha was never that great at reading social cues, but he was fairly certain that what they were currently doing would be considered flirting.

"That's a little better. We can start small and work our way up to the bigger words."

"You already made me say the F-word once, what could be worse than that?" she asked.

"You underestimate me, Kagome. I've got some combos that would knock your socks off."

"I don't doubt that…you know, my mother warned me about people like you."

"Are you worried I'm trying to corrupt you?" he asked teasingly.

"Worse! I'm worried you are trying to turn me into you," she retorted.

Yes, this was definitely flirting, InuYasha decided, although he didn't dare voice his deduction aloud. He had no doubts that would be the perfect way to ruin the moment. Unfortunately the moment was soon ruined anyway, by their arrival at Kagome's apartment building. "Well, here we are...do you want me to walk you up?" InuYasha asked.

"No, thanks. I can take it from here," Kagome said as she removed her seatbelt and exited the car.

There was a small, slightly awkward pause before InuYasha said, "Don't forget to brush up on your baseball trivia."

Kagome rolled her eyes. "Just you wait. By next Friday I'm gonna know more about baseball than Babe Ruth."

"Well, Babe Ruth's dead, so I won't argue with you on that."

Kagome bent down to look at him through the open window, scrunching her face in mock anger. "Butthead."

InuYasha chuckled. "You're at least familiar with all the bases though, right?"

Kagome's mouth dropped open shock. "You pervert!"

"Hey!" he held his hands up in front of himself defensively. "I'm just talking about baseball here, you're the one with your mind in the gutter!"

Kagome narrowed her eyes at him, and he was fairly certain she was trying to suppress a smile when she said, "Goodnight, InuYasha," before pushing off the window ledge and turning on her heel toward the building.

"Goodnight," he called to her back and she lifted her hand to send him a backwards wave over her shoulder. He watched her enter the building and waited until he saw the light in her bedroom window before leaving to return home.

<<>>

A/N: Sorry for my slowness. I just had no inspiration for these middley chapters.

Hopefully it won't take me two more months to get on with the story.

Thanks to MustardYellowSunshine for subjecting herself to the tortures of editing my trash. What a gal!

-Stoats