InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Pride (In the Name of Love) ❯ Chapter 14

Pride (In the Name of Love) 14 / ??
Written by Jezz-Ra
Warnings - Not all warnings apply to all chapters. Yaoi, Het, Rape, Lemon, Violence, Language, Torture, Angst, Incest, Dark (at times). It's a massive story, folks, it's got a little bit of everything.
Disclaimer - I don't own Inuyasha, don't make money off it. Wish I did.

Sidestories can be found under my author profile at any of my archive sites.
Archived at - inu.adultfanfiction.net, fanfiction.net, and mediaminer.org ::: Anywhere else, ask!
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// blah // indicates thoughts.

A/N - LOL oh dear, I'm sorry to make you guys panic. Don't worry, Sesshoumaru's disappearance isn't sinister...I don't think anyone could have plucked him out from under Inuyasha and Miroku's noses quite so easily, especially without him making SOMETHING of a fuss. Depressed he may be - wanting to be recaptured he is not. And he might be in something of a physically weakened state, but he could at least peep and let them know that he was being absconded with. XD I'm sorry to worry y'all.
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Sesshoumaru had never felt so awkward within the walls of his own home, not even on the night he had learned his Lord Father was gone and he was suddenly no longer the Prince of the Western Lands, but the Lord. He had felt so young, so insecure, so unprepared.

Now he felt small again in the familiar hallways. He was grateful that there were no familiar faces. Injured as he was, he still knew the castle well enough to avoid being seen by the guards before he slid into his personal chambers.

A long, shuddering sigh escaped him as he caught sight of himself in the long, full-length mirror. He fought back the urge to cringe. His hair was dull and in terrible tangles. Scars and healing wounds covered him, although many were starting to fade. The terrible, wrapped-up collar around his neck proclaimed his failure and the fact he had been dominated almost as loudly as the angry red scar - the scar that would not fade with time, on the junction of his neck and shoulder. And part of his chest and collarbone - damn Tsetsukosei and his uncountable teeth! He was clad in a dirty, entirely whorish set of thin white silks. And his eyes...Sesshoumaru looked away with an unintentional whine tearing itself from his throat.

Sesshoumaru whirled about, eyes covering his room madly. He picked up a small but heavy marble statue and hurled it at the mirror. The glass exploded on impact, several shards clinging stubbornly to the frame as the rest fell to the floor in a glittering pile. Sesshoumaru was unable to stop the tremor running through his body. He clutched his hands into fists tightly and squeezed his eyes shut, trying to calm his rapid breathing. His instincts were screaming at him to flee... // From myself?... //

He felt his horror mounting, panic starting to claw at his stomach and crawl up his spine. This loss of control terrified him. This broken, used, claimed THING reflected a thousand times in the broken glass was not him! No!

Sesshoumaru forced himself to take a deep breath as he sank to the floor, leaning heavily against the wall. He pulled his knees up tightly to his chest and rested his forehead on them. Slowly he composed himself, his breathing evening out and his muscles relaxing. // No...I will....I will not act like a... a scared puppy...I will not. //

Steeling himself in his resolve, Sesshoumaru slowly got back to his feet. He headed resolutely to his closet and eyed his usual selection of clothing. Somehow, he couldn't bring himself to touch it. // White... is not such a good color on one such as I, is it?... // With a snarl at the offending silks, he dug into the depths of his closet and withdrew something.
Sesshoumaru stalked towards a door in the far end of his chambers. The main door flew open and Inuyasha entered so abruptly he nearly bowled over his elder brother. "Sesshoumaru!"The taiyoukai stared at him expressionlessly for a long moment, waiting for him to continue.

"What are y...jeez, you had Miroku and I worried.""I'm sorry that my attempt to rectify my poor personal hygiene of late is a cause for concern."

Inuyasha blinked a few times. "Oh...well...just don't walk off like that...you coulda said something."

"I was unaware that I had to answer to you in my own home."Inuyasha smirked a bit. "I haven't turned the Lordship back over to you yet."Sesshoumaru's head dropped, his long bangs hiding his eyes and his expression from his brother. His voice was rough, strained. "I don't want it."

Inuyasha blinked. "Come on, you aren't serious. I can't do half the lord stuff you did. If Miroku wasn't helping me with the paperwork this place probably would have fallen apart! You were the one that was supposed t--""I don't want it. I don't believe I'll be staying."

Inuyasha blinked. "Huh? What d...you can't leave. You've lived here all your life!"

Sesshoumaru bit back a snarl. Why couldn't he understand?! Why must he explain everything?! Didn't Inuyasha see?! He could never rule, not like this! He was claimed and subjugated, and they would laugh...they would revel in his weakness, and they would take such delight in tearing him down. No, if his lands...his FATHER'S lands...were to survive, he must have nothing to do with them.

Inuyasha frowned. "You aren't going anywhere."

"You cannot order this Sesshoumaru.""Actually, since you aren't taking back your title, I outrank you. So I can. And I forbid you to leave the castle."

Sesshoumaru's gaze snapped to Inuyasha, his eyes widening in surprise. Inuyasha still felt uneasy seeing such naked emotions displayed on his brother's face - he was so used to the icy, impassive mask and untouchable demeanor his brother had always worn. Sesshoumaru was silent for a long time before his determination and rage melted almost visibly under Inuyasha's stare. "As you will."

// Huh? He's gonna do what I say? // Inuyasha abruptly felt guilty for ordering Sesshoumaru to do anything. "Sessh..."

"If it pleases MY LORD..." Sesshoumaru said icily, "...this Sesshoumaru would like to take a bath."

Inuyasha frowned deeper. "Sessh, I'm sorry. I just...I'm worried if you leave you'll...""Get hurt? Taken? Killed? Hn. This Sesshoumaru understands. I cannot protect myself, so I need my half-breed brother to do it. I am too weak." His words came out far more bitter than he had intended, and worse - he knew they were true.

"Oh, come on. You're recovering from a hell of a beating. You'll get better and be able to kick the shit out of everything soon. At least stick around until you're better. And you have to anyways, because I have to take you to Kagome to see if we can get that stupid collar off, unless you know a way."

"If I knew a way, do you think I would still be wearing it?"

"Um. Probably not."

"Inuyasha..."Inuyasha blinked. "Yeah?""Me. Bath. NOW. "

The hanyou grinned sheepishly. "Eh. Yeah, yeah. Go on. And then will you come to dinner? I figure we can leave for Kagome's time in the morning."

Sesshoumaru was silent for a long moment before nodding his consent - otherwise, he feared he'd never be rid of the hanyou. Inuyasha left, and Sesshoumaru sighed before heading off to clean up.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Miroku and Inuyasha were alone in the dining hall so long that they almost thought Sesshoumaru wasn't coming. Several times, the monk had urged Inuyasha to just give Sesshoumaru his space. Inuyasha was fretting and worrying that his brother would do 'something stupid'. Miroku didn't have to ask what Inuyasha meant. He was starting to worry if maybe he'd been wrong in stalling his hanyou friend when the door opened. Both of them turned to look at Sesshoumaru. Both of them couldn't help but stare.

The taiyoukai was dressed in dark black silk that had far less flare than anything Inuyasha or Miroku had ever seen him in. A silver design threaded across the black material. Sesshoumaru's hair was pulled up from his neck and bound with a black cord. A few rogue strands framed his face on either side. An empty sword belt hung at his waist, and his golden eyes flickered to Inuyasha. "You will tell this Sesshoumaru where his swords are."

Inuyasha blinked several times. Sesshoumaru looked so much like the images he had seen of their father. He finally managed to speak after a few false starts. "Sure, Sessh...I have Tenseiga with me, actually..." So saying, he handed over the blade. "Can it wait until after dinner? We ordered it a while ago but they were waiting for you to bring it out."

The taiyoukai paused for a moment and then nodded. He abruptly sat down, and Inuyasha frowned. He had purposely left the seat at the head of the table empty, but his brother made no move for it. With a sigh, the hanyou resigned himself to remaining - temporary - Lord of the West, and sat down.

Dinner was a silent affair, at least on Sesshoumaru's part. His appetite, after he had eaten so heavily in the forests, was less voracious and he slid into the comforting auto-pilot of routine Miroku and Inuyasha talked amongst themselves. They made several attempts to draw Sesshoumaru into the conversation, but the taiyoukai didn't buy into any of them.

Sesshoumaru abruptly spoke towards the end of the meal, startling both of them. "I wish to get this collar removed now. I do not wish to remain the night."

Inuyasha shrugged. "Alright, if that's what you want...Eager to see Rin?"

The hanyou regretted saying that almost the moment it left his mouth. Sesshoumaru froze, his face blank. He slowly set down the bite he had been about to take, his eyes downcast. His voice cracked when he spoke. "No. Gods, no..."

Inuyasha was shocked. "S...Sessh...""I will not....have HER see me like this..." The thought of Rin seeing him so broken and defeated...the thought of even the slightest hint of doubt stealing past the devotion in which she typically regarded him...the tiniest thought that she might have a lesser opinion of him...it made his heart ache. He tried to mentally chastise himself that the opinion of a human shouldn't mean so much to him...but that little voice that had always so strongly dictated his life and kept him as the powerful, immaculate Lord Sesshoumaru had had its vocal cords torn until it was no more than a distant, powerless whisper in light of his ordeal.

"Sessh...nothing could make that girl think any less of you. You know th..." Inuyasha stopped at the angry, wounded glare his brother gave him. Sesshoumaru stood abruptly and whipped about, stalking to the door.

"I shall be ready to depart within the hour. See that you do the same."

Inuyasha sighed heavily - when would he learn to stop saying things to unintentionally hurt his brother? "Yeah...I will be."