InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Pride (In the Name of Love) ❯ Chapter 20

Pride (In the Name of Love) 20 / ??
Written by Jezz-Ra
Warnings - Not all warnings apply to all chapters. Yaoi, Het, Rape, Lemon, Violence, Language, Torture, Angst, Incest, Dark (at times). It's a massive story, folks, it's got a little bit of everything.
Disclaimer - I don't own Inuyasha, don't make money off it. Wish I did.

Sidestories can be found under my author profile at any of my archive sites.
Archived at - inu.adultfanfiction.net, fanfiction.net, and mediaminer.org ::: Anywhere else, ask!
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// blah // indicates thoughts.

A/N - Wow. I take it as a great personal credit that people like my little original character so much that they bemoan his fate. ^^ To be entirely honest, I didn't expect to even bring Sairex back into the story at all after his first disappearance...but I figured some things needed to be clarified. And I also didn't want to spend fifty chapters waiting for Inuyasha to piece together clues, somehow figure a way for him to even find said clues, and then have a logical and in character reason for him to draw the correct conclusions. Having the birdy explain it was SO much simpler.

Then he kinda grew on me...so I figured I'd keep him around for the story. Now he might be around for the whole arc. XD Can't help it. I like him. However, I created him so of COURSE *I* like him. What surprised me was that others like him enough to be sad for his fate and are cheering on his rescue...that's a huge credit to me. Thank y'all for stroking my ego. XD
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Sairex returned to Miroku's body a couple hours later - after asking permission, of course. Miroku frowned internally - the raven seemed exceptionally grave and subdued. // Are you alright, Sairex...? //

"Kaa...Dis bird is fine...no need to vorry." As he spoke, he moved to the kitchen and began plucking out various herbs and spices - Sesshoumaru had an exceptional supply of exotic things, and for this Sairex was glad. He set about mixing things very specifically, chanting softly on occasion and infusing the concoction with snippets of his magic. When he was finished, he had a faintly glowing, oily purple liquid in a small flask.

// You don't sound fine. Or do you forget, I can feel you to a point since you're sharing my body? //

"Den you'll keep your mouth zhut about it. Miroku...I've done zometing drastic, and Inuyazha vill definitely not approve. Zo I do not intend to tell him. But you must do me a favor."

// Sure...you've helped us enough. Anything I can do, name it. //

"Do not let dem ignore Zetsukosei after I zpeak to dem in a moment. He must be killed."

// I don't think they'd let him slide regardless. Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru are both the vengeance-seeking types over something like this. //

"Promise me."

// ... What did you DO, Sairex?... //

"Noting." Sairex's answer was abrupt and he didn't elucidate further when they reached Sesshoumaru's room. Inuyasha still sat by his brother's bed, watching his sleeping form intently. "Inuyazha, ve need to talk."

"Sairex?"Sairex nodded. "I vill be brief, my time is...zhort. " He held out the flask. "Vhen Zezzhoumaru vakes up, have him drink dis. It's not likely to taste good, and it might make him a bit...ill. But it vill kill da bugs an' da eggs.""Really? That's awesome! How the hell did you get this?"Sairex continued blankly, as if he hadn't heard the question. "Also, and dis is very important...tell Zezzhoumaru dat he is released from his contract."

Inuyasha blinked slowly. "What?...""Zetsukosei has released him. He vill no longer come after him, attempt to hurt him, or attempt to hurt da ones he cares about. Zezzhoumaru no longer has to vorry about it."

Inuyasha stared at him. "How...what in the FUCK did you give him? How important was it?"Sairex paused for a minute before chuckling. "Vell...I really zuppose dat depends on your point of view. Zome vould zay...not zo important."

Inuyasha squinted. "And what would you say?"Sairex considered it. "Kaa, noting dat can't be retaken."

Inuyasha paused, contemplating the bird and his tricky wording. "And ... what would I have said?"Sairex was silent for a long time. "Mrr. Dere is da chance you vould have been against it."

"Great. You did something fucking stupid. I knew you were going to when you didn't promise me."

"Ztupid? No. Vhat I did vas to zave your brother and keep Zetsukosei contained and not running amok zeeking vays to hurt him or dose dat he cares about. Vhat I did vas get da recipe to kill dose damn bugs. All I gave Zetsukosei in return vas zomething to keep him distracted until you kill him. Den it doesn't matter anymore. I have faith in you and your brother, dat you vill be da ones dat destroy him. Zo I took a couple of...calculated risks. I'm zorry, but I have to go. I vill zee you vhen you come to kill 'im."

"Wait!""Too late, he's gone..." Miroku mumbled, rubbing his head. Sairex may have been able to hide the core of the truth from Inuyasha, but Miroku had more or less figured it out. It made him feel sick.

Before either of them could dwell on it much further, Sesshoumaru's eyes flickered open. He let out a low growl, closing his eyes again against the throbbing in his skull. Miroku blinked, then handed the flask Sairex had made to Inuyasha. "I'll...er...leave you two alone." Miroku scurried out of the room before Inuyasha could protest.

Inuyasha scooted closer to his brother. "Sessh?...Are you alright? How are you? How do you feel?""You cannot POSSIBLY be serious."

Inuyasha grinned slightly. "That bad, huh? Here...I don't know what the hell this purple shit is, but that raven Sairex said it'll kill all the bugs.""Bugs?..." "Er...yeah...that's why you feel so shitty. You had bugs eating you alive...heh."Sesshoumaru slowly opened his eyes to narrow golden slits. "That does not explain my pounding headache.""Oh. Er. That was my fault. I did it for your own good. I couldn't stand seeing you conscious in that much pain." Inuyasha frowned.

Sesshoumaru sighed, then sat up. He snatched the vial and swallowed it in one swift pull, though he turned an odd color and very nearly spluttered it back out. It tasted AWFUL.

It occurred to the taiyoukai then that he was not still in Kagome's apartment, as he had been when last he was lucid and coherent.. He glanced at his brother. "How is Rin?"

Inuyasha swallowed and looked down. "She was scared shitless for you, Sessh...so was I. Did you want to go back? We should probably let them know you're going to be alright. Actually, you can bring Rin home now. Sairex said to tell you he cut some sort of deal with that bastard and you're free of him now. He's not going to come after you or yours ever again."

Sesshoumaru nodded slowly. "That is good. However, I will not be going back to the well."

"Alright. I have to go soon anyways, I'll bring Rin back then.""No."

Inuyasha blinked slowly. "Eh? What?"

"Leave her there."

"Are you fucking crazy? What are you talking about? I thought you loved her. Gonna make it a BIT hard to have a mate you'll never fucking see again, Sessh."Sesshoumaru glared at his brother, but there was no real heat behind it. "It is because I care for her that I cannot see her again."

"You aren't making any sense."

Sesshoumaru sighed - he HATED explaining himself. That was one thing he DID like about Rin...she may question him, but when he answered, it was extremely rare she'd question him further. She would accept what he told her and seemed to intuitively know the things he didn't say that went along with various commands or statements. His brother, however, didn't possess that same sense.

"I do...care for Rin. That is why she must stay. Too many humans here know of her affiliation with me, and she would never be trusted. She is not a demon. Especially coming into her maturity, she should be with her own kind. She needs things I cannot provide her. Female companionship. Other humans. Wandering the countryside on patrols and being the ward of a demon-lord, removed from her society entirely...it is not right."

"Did you ask her what she wants?"Sesshoumaru glared at his brother. "No. I never have. In truth, I've never had to. Rin is a beautifully simple, open creature. Her needs and her wants are very obvious at any given time. She makes no effort to hide them. And I know very well what she THINKS she wants right now."

"You. Thats all she's ever wanted, as far as I know, in one way or another."

"I will not ruin her innocence."

Inuyasha snorted. "Someone has to, why not have it be the one she loves?"

The strained thread of Sesshoumaru's patience and emotional masking snapped. "I AM NOT WORTHY OF HER LOVE!" The taiyoukai looked as shocked as Inuyasha was at his outburst before he continued. "This Sesshoumaru does not merit such pure devotion. I am not worthy of such love, from her or any other. I would only taint her. I am ruined. This Sesshoumaru does not intend to ever take a mate.""That's fucking bullshit, Sessh. Just because you were attacked doesn't mean--"

Sesshoumaru growled and lunged forward, grabbing Inuyasha by the front of his haori. He bared his fangs. "I was not strong enough to protect her, or myself. Do you see this mark on my neck, Inuyasha? DO YOU SEE IT? I am CLAIMED. I am blatantly marked as the whore of another. The youkai of these lands and elsewhere...ESPECIALLY elsewhere...will see it as a sign of my weakness. And they will come. Even if my own darkness does not crush her light, eventually an attack to hurt me will get through to her. I will not be responsible for Rin's death again. I will not be forced into such a situation because of my emotional attachment to another again."

Inuyasha stared at his brother in open shock. The angry, bitter self-loathing in his voice made the hanyou want to flinch. "You aren't a whore. You were attacked."

Sesshoumaru released Inuyasha abruptly, laying back down and turning his back to the hanyou. His voice was harsh. "Leave me. I do not wish to continue this conversation.""Yeah, well, you're damn well going to. I'm not going to sit here and let you hate yourself and blame yourself for everything. You aren't tainted or ruined because of all this. So you got a scar, big fucking deal. You're still Sesshoumaru. And we both know you aren't weak. You're one of the strongest youkai alive."

"I am nothing but a lie."

"Fuck that. If nothing else, you're my brother and that damn well better mean something. I don't give a shit if Myouga can beat you up. You're my only real family and that alone is reason enough for me to care about you."

Sesshoumaru slowly turned to stare at his brother. Inuyasha flushed, unused to making such emotional outbursts. Now that he really thought about it, he was kind of embarrassed. Sure, he'd meant every word, but...

"Keh. I guess I'll...let you rest or whatever. But don't deny yourself good things just because you have this fucking stupid, misguided sense that you're no good because someone bested you and hurt you. I thought you prided yourself on your logic."

Sesshoumaru closed his eyes. "...You have my apologies.""I do?""Yes. However...I still will not take a mate, and I still will not retrieve Rin. It is because I care for the girl that I wish to see her have a life among her own kind, and not the half-life she would have in the demon world. It would do her good to have the caring and advice of an elder human female, especially now. And in that world, she does not have the same reputation as she does here. She would simply be another young woman."

Inuyasha frowned and Sesshoumaru looked away, not wanting to continue. Oh, it hurt to contemplate leaving his little human behind! And he truly had been intending to take her as a mate before he thought about all the ramifications. // All I have just told Inuyasha is true. And...I will have to part with her one day, far too soon, regardless. She is only human. She will live, age, and die in the blink of an eye. Time is cruel.... //

"Inuyasha...I wish to rest. I am exhausted. Please, leave me."

"Do you promise to stop being so fucking hard on yourself? You're...there's nothing wrong with you, Sessh.""There are many things wrong with me, Inuyasha. Far too many to enumerate."

"I still care about you."// And I can't understand why. // "If that's the case, you'll let me sleep."

"Fine, fine... you know where to find me if you need me. Tomorrow I'm going to start making plans to kill that bastard. Want to help? I bet it'd make you feel better.

"His death is mine...but you may assist me."Inuyasha grinned widely and headed for the door. "Fair enough. Sleep well, Sessh."