InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Pride (In the Name of Love) ❯ Chapter 26

Pride (In the Name of Love) 26 / ??
Written by Jezz-Ra
Warnings - Not all warnings apply to all chapters. Yaoi, Het, Rape, Lemon, Violence, Language, Torture, Angst, Incest, Dark (at times). It's a massive story, folks, it's got a little bit of everything.
Disclaimer - I don't own Inuyasha, don't make money off it. Wish I did.

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// blah // indicates thoughts.

A/N - Yeah, I think one of my lovely reviewers said it best - 25 chapters and Miroku has not yet been slapped for his wandering hand? XD Although, due to the....unique circumstances, I don't think Sairex will slap him. It'd be more personally painful than it's worth.

And in response to another question... I never said an Inu-Sesshy relationship wasn't ultimately the focus of this story. o.O But regardless, I cannot write Sesshy as a willing uke. I just can't logically see it. Even now, damaged as he is... I can't see him being anyone's bitch unless forced. So to speak.

And now, on with the chapter I *intended* to be yesterday's before that little...Miroku / Sairex escapade that was too amusing an idea to pass up.
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Having come up clueless, Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru eventually came to the conclusion that their time would be better spent with someone who was more in tune with looking for this sort of thing and they sped up their trip to the dungeons. It took a bit of searching - apparently, Tsetsukosei's network of dungeons and torture chambers was excessive - but they finally found Sairex. The raven was half dozing and slowly opened one yellow eye, a slight smile twitching his lips.

"Vell, it's about time."

Inuyasha rolled his eyes and helped Sairex to his feet. "Oh, how grateful you are. I should leave you here."

"You vouldn't do dat. You'd miss your monk too much. For da record, you didn't varn me dat he vas a complete pervert."

Inuyasha smirked. "I thought I'd let you discover Miroku's charms on your own. I had to."

"Yes, vell...it's one ting to discover dem vhen you travel together...it's quite another vhen he zhares your body."

Inuyasha snickered a bit. "Hey, it was all your doing. None of mine."

// I hate you all. // Miroku mentally stuck out his tongue, and Sairex chuckled.

// Oh, no you don't. In fact, you zeem to be quite enamored of me. //

"We do not have time for idle banter. We must make haste before we are discovered. Now that we have freed his prisoners, Tsetsukosei is not liable to remain unaware of our presence for long.

Inuyasha and Sairex sobered up abruptly. "Yeah, well...I guess we should start searching again."

Sairex scowled darkly as he tried to arrange what was left of his clothing into something a bit more decent and covering. "I can't zay I'm looking forvard to dis. I've been over dis castle a million times looking for da damn ting."

Sesshoumaru's intense glare narrowed. "We must find it. There is no other recourse.""Yeah, ve vill look. Quickly. Speed is of da essence." So saying, the raven slid out of the room, ducking into the shadows so skillfully that Inuyasha nearly lost track of him, even though he knew where he had gone. His ears flattened as his brother followed suit, and he abruptly felt clumsy and ungraceful trying to match them.

The search dragged on. Room by room and item by item they checked. They also searched for any hints of hidden passages or concealed compartments, and while they found a couple none of them contained what they were searching for.

After spending the better part of the night searching - and dodging patrols - the three of them were very disheartened and frustrated. Sairex scowled and threw up his hands. "I just don't understand vhy I can't find it!"

"Eh, neither of us can either...."

"Yes, but I'm familiar vith Zetsukosei and his magic. I zhould be able to find zometing zo important to him easily. But no...not even da faintest hint of a clue. I'm missing zometing..."

"What are you missing, though? We were on the same search as you."

"I know, but....kaaa!" Sairex muttered in frustration. "Vhat could he pozzibly have used as a phylactery? Zometing he vould know I'd never tink to look for. Zometing dat vould always be close to him dat he vouldn't have to vorry about. Zomething dat he could bind to himzelf dat could never be taken from him, vouldn't be broken, and would never be free of him and--" Sairex stopped dead. Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru were both staring at him. The shocked look of revelation on the raven's face would have been comical if the situation wasn't so serious.

"Me...oh, dat bloody bastard... it's me."

Inuyasha frowned. "But..."

"It all makes zense...DAMN it..." Sairex slumped down in a chair, holding his head in his palms. Oh, but he felt like a fool...suddenly all the strange things that had happened over the centuries made sense. Why Tsetsukosei had never killed or seriously injured him despite his defiance and his outright attempts to piss the beast off....why every time Tsetsukosei did lose his patience and hurt him, the beast always seemed to tire of it so quickly... He had never understood what sort of bond, exactly, it had been...nor why Tsetsukosei would bind him in the first place. It had never made sense, but Sairex had simply assumed it was an attempt to force his loyalty and services and Tsetsukosei had never dissuaded him of that notion.

It also explained why he had never been able to get the slightest whiff of Tsetsukosei's phylactery. Of course he radiated spiritual energy. What better shield than to hide it in plain sight? Everyone would simply assume it was just his own magic coming to the fore.

This was why Tsetsukosei had never truly let him out of his sight but never went after him. And even on the off chance Sairex found out...to do anything about it, he would have to kill himself - and then he couldn't subsequently attack Tsetsukosei, giving the beast time to craft a new phylactery. Tsetsukosei had no other enemies that knew the full truth - or believed it, at least. All the missing puzzle pieces clicked into place - and like most of Tsetsukosei's plans, it was devious and terrifying in its simplicity.

Miroku's sudden alarm drowned out the slight bittersweet satisfaction Sairex felt at having figured it all out. // So...what....what do we do, Sairex? How can we get this spell off of you? // Simply the way Miroku asked the question let the raven know that he knew the answer.

// I'm zorry ve von't be able to make good on our bet, Miroku. I'll return you to your own body before ve do dis...Zetsukosei vill be too busy dying to tink to come for you. //

// NO! There HAS to be some other way, Sairex! //

// Knowing dat my death brings about Zetsukosei's is revard enough. Besides...I'll finally be free. //

Inuyasha frowned deeply. "What is it you.. I mean...""Vell, its zimple. I die, den you two can kill Zetsukosei." The hanyou looked horrified. "It's not so bad a ting..."

// I am...zo glad to have known you. Tank you for everyting, Miroku. // Miroku was about to launch another protest mentally when he suddenly found himself flying back through the void of space and time. He clutched at the raven's presence but before he knew it he was back in his own body, sitting up with a shuddering gasp that turned into a soft moan of denial.

Sairex sighed, looking sad for a moment before it vanished beneath a half-cocked smile. "Vell, dat's done. Your monk is back in his own body. So lets make dis quick zo you can go home, yes?"

Inuyasha flailed. "Sairex, no fucking way! You're our FRIEND. We can't just KILL you! You've helped us...probably saved our asses more than once...and now you want us to kill you just so we can kill that asshole? There has to be some other way."Sairex looked pained. "Dere is no other vay. To destroy a phylactery, you have to break it. If Zetsukosei is bound to my life...and he is...den to destroy da bond and da ting itself, my life must be destroyed."

Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap.

Inuyasha and Sairex both ignored the quiet clicking coming from Sesshoumaru's direction - for the most part. Inuyasha felt a brief spike of anger that h is brother wasn't helping argue his side - the proud bastard was probably thinking of the fastest way to kill the raven and get on with things! Sairex was simply unconcerned with Sesshoumaru and his response.

Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap.

"And there's no other way to kill Tsetsukosei?""You can't even cause him zerious harm vithout destroying his phylactery, Inuyazha. He is not alive. Pain and physical veaknesses are tings he gave up long ago."

Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap.

Inuyasha frowned and then threw himself at the surprised raven, hugging him tightly. "Fuck...you're my friend. I can't...can't do this to you."Sairex awkwardly tried to return the hug.

Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap.

Sesshoumaru finally spoke up, his voice heavy with exasperation. "Really. And you people think I can be melodramatic..."

Inuyasha whirled in a fiery rage to confront his brother, but the first thing he saw instead was the source of the small tapping noise.

Sesshoumaru was lightly clicking Tenseiga's sheath off the stone wall behind him. Inuyasha's jaw dropped as it suddenly dawned on him. "Fuck...of course.""We kill the bird, we kill the beast, revive the bird and go home. No need for all these foolish displays."

Sairex looked a little lost and Inuyasha's ears flattened back. "Well, fucking exCUSE me...don't act like I'm an idiot just because I'm not used to death being, y'know, a little bit permanent. I'm still not used to running around with a guy that can just slash his sword and make it go away."

The slightest of smirks crossed Sesshoumaru's lips. Sairex had perked up and was looking at Sesshoumaru, trying hard not to get his hopes up. But he had to ask. "Zo...if I die to allow you to kill Zetsukosei...den vhen he is dead, you can bring me back? I vould be alive again?"Sesshoumaru nodded once in response.

Sairex thought for a moment before taking a knee before Sesshoumaru and bowing his head. "Lord Zezzhoumaru, I zvear to you my loyalty and my zervice. I vill zerve you in any capacity you desire. I have many talents dat vill be of great use to you. I humbly request dat you accept my fealty in exchange for my life and my freedom."

Sesshoumaru frowned uncertainly. It wasn't because he didn't understand the magnitude or gravity of Sairex's offer. "I... but I am not the one you..."Inuyasha sighed heavily. "Sessh. You and I both know that even if its a tiny piece at a time, you'll take back ruling the damn place. You're already going to take Miroku off the bookwork. I could tell just by the way you looked at it. It doesn't MATTER, what happened...and if anyone thinks you weaker for it, they can try themselves against you and learn how foolish they are. Even if something LOOKS fragile it doesn't mean it is."

Sesshoumaru scowled darkly but gave Sairex an imperial glance. "I accept your fealty if it is to the Lord of the West and not specifically to myself. I will accept you in my brother's name, but should I so desire to reclaim my throne in the future, then you will be mine. Is this understood?"

Sairex smiled. "Den I zvear my fealty to da zons of da great and vise Inu no Taizho."

Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha both nodded, before the taiyoukai looked at his brother. "Alright. You may kill him now." When Inuyasha did not respond, he sighed and drew Toukijin. "Raven...Sairex. Should we fail to slay this beast, you know your death will remain irreversible?"Sairex nodded, his eyes slipping closed as a genuine smile settled on his face. "You vill not fail. You are ztrong, like your father before you."Sesshoumaru frowned bitterly. "My Lord Father could have crushed me underfoot without effort."

Sairex chuckled as he stood up, patting Sesshoumaru lightly on the shoulder. "Your Lord Father vas many times your age, Lord Zezzhoumaru. Vhen he vas young, he vas no mightier den you are now. Your power, y our ztrength...it vill grow all your life. Zlowly, but it vill. It vill grow with experience, vith time, vith combat and ztrife and learning to master all of yourself, and not merely hide and control your emotions."Sesshoumaru squinted. "Exactly how well did you know my Lord Father?..."

Sairex chuckled. "Mm... Fairly vell. Not for as long as I vould have liked, but I knew him vell enough. Your father vas...vell. Hard to put to vords. He vas a violent comet crashing to the zurface of da vorld. He fought passionately, he lived passionately, and he died passionately. He vas calm and in complete control of everyting at all times...and he vas at peace vith himself. Dat is your mistake, Lord Zezzhoumaru. You zeek to dominate your emotions, to crush dem and bury dem. To hide dem and not acknowledge dem, pretend like dey do not exist. Instead...you zhould accept dem, learn from dem...embrace dem. Dere is nothing wrong with keeping dem in check...but do not lie to yourself dat you are better dan to have dem."

The taiyoukai frowned and made no outward response. Initially he had wanted to rebuke the raven and proclaim that he did no such thing...but he realized it was a lie even as the words floated behind his lips.

"I know how hard it has been for you, Zezzhoumaru. You vere far, far too young to take up da role you did, and you've done better dan anyone could ever have thought. Your father vould be zo very proud of you. But it made you have to grow up before you zhould have had to. Instead of doing all da tings other youkai your age did, you had the largest of da demon kingdoms thrust into your lap. You zhould have had time to make a name for yourself...time to find a mate, time to form alliances and friendships and learn of your kingdom to treat your people as people and not merely numbers to balance. You zhould have had time to live da life of Zezzhoumaru, not dove in and immediately lived da life of da Vestern Lord. Da two do not coexist...you've zacrificed yourself and denied yourself and been instead vhat you had to be for da zake of da kingdom."

"What else could I do?" Sesshoumaru finally asked. "I could not let all my Lord Father built be destroyed when I was capable of taking care of it!"

"Oh, Lord Zezzhoumaru..." Sairex sighed sadly. "You've done zo vell for da kingdom...but you run it by yourzelf. Even when you are in da company of others, you are alone. You do not let anyone help you.""How can I trust anyone to help me..." Sesshoumaru muttered before he could stop himself. He suddenly snapped to a more serious expression. "May we get on with this now?"

Sairex paused for a moment before leaning forward, his voice too soft for Inuyasha to hear. His words sent a shiver down Sesshoumaru's spine. "Do not run avay from da people dat love you because you are Zezzhoumaru and not just da Vestern Lord...your brother and da girl. Love is not a liability, it vill make you ztrong. Only vhen you love, only when you feel zo very ztrongly about zometing, does it give you a reason to fight. Love can hurt, it is a risk...but dat is vhy it must be fought for. You can fight to exist, but only vhen you fight to live and fight for vhat you love do you find your meaning...it all becomes vorthvhile."

"You talk a lot, bird," Sesshoumaru whispered after a long moment.

"I vanted you to have my advice in case zometing goes vrong," Sairex responded with a slight grin. "And you do. I am ready."

Inuyasha gave his friend one last long look before turning away, unable to watch. Sesshoumaru raised Toukijin and nodded to the raven. "Thank you."

Sairex closed his eyes. "You are velcome. Now go kill Zetsukosei."

Sesshoumaru whirled his blade quickly about and drove it forward. It slid easily between the raven's ribs and into his heart, dropping him silently where he stood.

The entire fortress shook from the wounded roar of an impossibly massive, agonized beast.

Tsetsukosei had heard, he had felt...and he was coming.