InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Pride (In the Name of Love) ❯ Chapter 39

Pride (In the Name of Love) 39 / ??
Written by Jezz-Ra
Warnings - Not all warnings apply to all chapters. Yaoi, Het, Rape, Lemon, Violence, Language, Torture, Angst, Incest, Dark (at times). It's a massive story, folks, it's got a little bit of everything.
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// blah // indicates thoughts.

A/N - Whole lot going on in this chapter...not sure I wrote Sairex's piece entirely as I had it planned in my mind, but...ah well. LONG night at work and I'm a sleepy Jess.
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Miroku paced back and forth, his hands twisting in the sleeves of his robes. The healer had been MARVELOUSLY unhelpful in diagnosing ANYTHING about Sairex's condition. He had no idea what the fragrant purple substance was or what it's effects would be. He had no idea if Sairex's eyes would heal or if he'd be blinded. In short, he didn't know anything Miroku couldn't obviously see for himself.

"You really zhould calm down..." Sairex's voice muttered from the bed. Miroku almost tripped over his robes in his haste to fly to the bedside and clutch the raven's hand.

"You're awake! How are you? Are you alright? The healer didn't know what that stuff was, but don't worry, I--"Sairex chuckled and squeezed Miroku's hand. "Miroku."

Miroku blushed slightly. "Sorry, I've just...been really worried about you. Why would someone want to attack you?"

Sairex heaved a sigh and smiled bitterly, poking a bit at the bandage wrapped around his head and covering his eyes. It was decidedly uncomfortable to lay on since it was digging some of his braids into his head. "You misunderstand, Miroku. The attack vasn't to hurt me, it vas to get me out of da vay. Zomeone from da Circle is after zomeone here. Likely Lord Zezzhoumaru."

"How can you be so sure?"

Sairex gave him that self-deriding bitter smirk again. "Because, no one in da Circle vould dare come after me vhen I'm out of deir vay and no one outzide knows I exist excepting da members of dis House."

Miroku grinned a bit. "Oh. Of course. Sairex, terror of the Black Circle..."

The raven's expression was so serious it stole Miroku's humor. "Miroku, dere are...tings you do not know about me. And if you vish it, I vill tell you...but I have been afraid to. I do not vant you to...tink of me differently."

"Sairex...we all make mistakes, we all have skeletons in our closet. If you don't want to tell me, you don't have to. I...I care about you for who you are n ow, not who you were before. So just rest. We'll figure out what that purple stuff was, an--""I know exactly vhat it vas."

Miroku blinked. "You do? How?""Kaa...da zmell. I'd never forget it. Zeems I ztill have zome of da antivenin in my blood, even after all dis time."

"Why in the world would you have antivenin for this particular poison in your veins?" Miroku frowned uneasily - he wasn't sure he was going to like the answer. Something was fishy here.

"A precaution. You zee, Miroku, I know vhat it is because I vas da one dat made it. I can alzo tell you dat either da dose vas veak or my antivenin is ztill vorking, because my brain is not melted. I'm not overly hopeful of getting da antidote however...it requires a flower dat vas very rare vhen I used to live in dis vorld da first time."

"So...what all IS it doing to you?"

"I'm mindblind. Da connection vith my zpiritual magic has been zevered."

"Maybe...maybe you should tell me a bit. Like why you'd make such a nasty poison in the first place..."

Sairex nodded. "Here, zit down. I'll tell you everyting, and maybe you vill underztand. It is my hope dat you vill not despise me vhen I am done, but I vill not blame you if you do.

"My full name is Zairexannaras. I vas born as da zole heir of da Chieftain and Zhaman of my tribe. I was the five hundred and forty zeventh child born to da zhaman."

Miroku's jaw hit the floor. "Five hundred and forty seventh?! Dear Buddha, your family reunions must have been insane!"

Sairex looked somewhat pained. "No...you do not underztand. I vas da first child dat vas allowed to live. Vhile my mother carried me, my father vas injured and vas unable to have any more children. As dey had no heir, I had to be allowed to live."

"Wait...allowed to live?" A cold sense of dread sank into Miroku.

"Yes. You zee...my clan all had ztrong magic. Matings vere arranged to gain power. Da most powerful mated vith da most powerful to guarantee a powerful child. But my people vere greedy, evil...dey perfected a ritual dat allowed dem to take da energy and power of another as deir own. It vorks better vith zmall children, because deir energy is ztill undefined. Da older dey get, da more zettled their power becomes, da more...personal. It vas almost an art. Da energy of a babe vas da easiest to take, and since the child vould be destroyed in the process, it zaved time having to vorry about raising it or caring for it. As a child grows, zo does da power dey have, but it becomes more personal...da risk to take it greater. The risk is rarely vorth da gain vith an adult, and half da power vill be lost as incompatible vith da host."

"You...you're saying...your clan sacrificed their children to increase their own power?"

"Yes. Children vere a commodity, traded like currency to da highest bidder or in return for favors. Da rich vould keep harems and zlaves to produce more for dem to absorb. Da very rich could afford to have da children raised for a vhile to increase da gains. Children born to two of da Clan, however, vere valued da highest as dey vould have far higher zpiritual energy dan most.

"My parents vere da ztrongest of da clan and made zure dey stayed dat vay. I cannot zay how many tousands vere zacrificed for deir own gain. Dey even received more zacrifices as tax from da Clan...one from every family every tree years in addition to da gold.

"Dat is just one example of da zort of tings dey vould do. As heir to da chieftaincy and da next zhaman, I learned many tings. I vas very vell educated. I learned histories, magic of many, many kinds...I learned all manner of diplomacy and espionage, ztealth and cunning. I also learned herbalism and lore, da rituals to please da dark gods, healing...and I learned it easily. I do not forget tings.

"Da Black Circle vas made by my people. It vas created in an attempt for my clan to expand da amount of zouls dey had access to. More zouls to zteal and absorb and rip apart vould mean more power. Plus, a realm so tied in vith da vorld of da dead made it easier to reanimate undead zlaves for armies or zervants.

"I...vill not tell you more of da tings dey vould do, Miroku. Vhen I vas of age, I vas given to da nearby dragon clan to cement an alliance. Zpecifically, to their crown prince, Zetsukosei. Da dragons valued me as a zeer, my family valued me as a zpy. Zetsukosei had...his own reasons to keep me. After a vhile, my clan sent me girl to mate, da daughter of two other powerful members of our clan."

Sairex was silent for a long moment. When he spoke, his voice was forced and heavy. "I vas not like dem. Perhaps it vas because I vas not permitted to join in da mental bonds my clan often did...it vas a vay they could zhare information and all increase deir knowledge and thus power. But as zon of da Chief and da Zhaman, I knew too many zecrets and vas not permitted to join for fear of vhat I may accidently reveal.

"I mated da girl out of a zense of duty...and I admit, I vas young and vanted more dan da frequently painful relations I had as Zetsukosei's pet. It...it vas not long after dat..." Sairex swallowed thickly. "One night my mate vas talking to me...and zhe vas...so eager for our child to be born. Zo eager to tear out its heart and eat its zoul zo zhe could get on to da next one. And I...I...zometing in me broke. I killed her and took her zoul. I destroyed it.

"My people found out...and zimply zent me a replacement mate. I ended up destroying her too. Zhe vas as bloodthirsty and vicked as dey all vere. Not long after dis, Zetsukosei performed da ritual dat made him a lich and I vas ztuck in da circle vith him. Not dat it made much difference to my clan, dey almost exclusively lived in da Circle by dis point.

"Dey had enough of my killing deir high-ranking daughters and instead hired assassins. I killed dem. Dey hired more assassins. I killed dem too. Dey ztarted zending clan members vith their assassination teams. I destroyed dem all. My people realized that to perform zuch a feat, I vas truly powerful...and den I became a target for dem and deir greed. Da lords began coming after me...it vas a mad rush to zee who could take my zoul first.

"I needed help fighting zo I used my knowledge of herbs and created a poison dat vould melt the mind, destroy da connections dat allow one to access deir zpiritual magics.

"Dey kept coming. I kept destroying dem. Eventually dey hit da breaking point, vhere da fear of me outveighed the lust to claim my zoul. Dey called me Deathraven and Kinslayer. Da clan vas decimated. I vent from prey to predator. I hunted down every zingle last one of dem and I killed dem. I destroyed every magical artifact I could not use, did not need. I memorized every book, every zcroll, every zcribbled note, and I destroyed all of it. Every dark altar and bloodztained blade.

"Vhen dere vas noting left, noting at all...I used my herbalism zkills and rendered myzelf infertile, dat I vould never by accident, design or force bear a child dat vas in any vay part of da Clan. It all ends vith me.

"Da Circle of course heard of dis as it vas happening. Any dat allied vith my clan and got in my vay did not live to regret it. And vith each death, I grew ztronger. Now I am da last true necromancer, and my powers over death are...great. All dat live vithin da Circle fear vhat I could do to dem. Dey do not believe I can be killed, and I do noting to dissuade dem of dat notion.

"None vould risk my wrath and attack me. Dey fear me enough to vant to remain anonymous in vhat dey do, vhich is vhy I vas targeted." Sairex sighed heavily. "If you tink me a horrid creature now, I vill understand.""You rid the world of a cult of wicked, soul-eating fiends. You should be congratulated, not damned."

A slight smile twitched Sairex's lips. "Tank you, Miroku...if you'll excuse me, dis bird needs zome zleep now..."Miroku crawled into bed and tugged Sairex into his arms, smiling at the startled expression the raven wore as it melted into a contented smile. "I could use a nap myself." In truth, he was more than a little shaken by Sairex's bloody tale, but he couldn't fault the raven for it. He had killed countless wicked demons himself. Still, it would take some getting used to.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Sesshoumaru noticed their audience first, as his back wasn't to them like Toga's was. His eyes went from slits to popping wide. He let out a strangled noise, almost choking on Toga's tongue in the process. However, he couldn't really pull back out of the kiss, pinned to the wall as he was. He let out a little growl and grabbed his father by the ears in an effort to pull him back.

Toga let out a low, throaty growl, displeased at the sudden interruption, although the distant part of his mind that retained some semblance of coherency wondered at the increasingly frantic actions of his pup.

Inuyasha burst out laughing, the desperate look on Sesshoumaru's face simply undoing him. Toga leapt back from Sesshoumaru as if his pup had suddenly caught fire, whirling around as a bucket of mental ice-water cascaded over him. The red bled out of his eyes abruptly and reality returned like a punch to the stomach.

"Well, leave you two alone for ten minutes and look what happens..." Inuyasha snickered, genuinely amused. Sesshoumaru was blushing a darker shade than he'd ever seen and had ducked his head, making an effort to hide behind his bangs.

Toga looked rather cornered and felt more than a little uneasy. He had simply lost control of himself. Again. He hadn't thought about it at any point. He had simply acted, overwhelmed by desire. He should be better behaved than this...he was no fledgling youkai unable to control his inner demon, for gods' sake! And this was his SON. His damaged son who needed to be loved and cared for and cherished, not...well...ok, so he did love and cherish and care for him, and Sesshoumaru was just about perfect in every way, and gods he was gorgeous and delicious and felt so... // NO! My GODS, what is WRONG with me?! This resurrection must have...must have done something to my self control. I'm not some hormonal teenager or youkai brat...this absolutely MUST not continue. I will not take advantage of my pup like that. // He gave Sesshoumaru a guilty look, apologizing with his eyes, but another traitorous thought whispered deep in his mind. // But what if you want it to...? What if it's deeper than that? //

Rin bounced past him a moment later and threw herself at Sesshoumaru's waist in a hug. "Lord Sesshoumaru! Rin has missed you!"Sesshoumaru let out a startled 'oof' and looked at his ward before slowly resting his hand on her head. "Hello, Rin."

Inuyasha snickered and leaned against the wall. Sesshoumaru gave him a Shut-UP-or-I-will-EVISCERATE-you Death Glare in response.

"Sesshoumaru-sama, Rin has lots of new things from Lady Kagome to show you." The girl leaned in conspiratorily, although every youkai in the room could easily hear her and she wasn't particularly quiet with her whisper. "And she brought you a special treat."

"Very well, Rin. You may show this Sesshoumaru your new things, if they are that important to you."

Rin beamed and escorted him out.

Toga was frowning heavily, staring at the floor, and he jumped when Inuyasha stepped closer.

"Hey, somethin' wrong, old man?" Inuyasha asked, hesitantly reaching out to grasp his father's shoulder.

Toga looked up, somewhat worried. "I should not have done what I did. Your brother has been through enough without me compounding it or confusing him."

Inuyasha paused to think about it. "Weren't you the one telling me he should get loved by the people that love him most? I doubt many people love him more than you do."

"But I'm not giving him a choice...we didn't discuss anything...and...damn it..." Toga ran his hands through his topknot to straighten some of the loose strands. "He has followed me and my wishes all his life. Your brother has been loyal and obedient to a fault. And I have done my best to teach him well and gods, I've succeeded...but...""But you don't want him responding just because he thinks you want him to or that its expected of him?""Yes, pup, that's exactly it."

Inuyasha chuckled. "Eh, I wouldn't worry about that too much. Sesshoumaru might idolize you, but he's not afraid to stick up for himself and he DOES NOT do things he does not want to do...and if he has to, believe me...EVERYONE knows his displeasure."

"I'm his father.""Yeah? I'm his brother and you didn't see a problem with that. I think you're worrying about it a bit too much. And if it bothers you so much, ask Sesshoumaru. He may word it in a way that takes six translators to get to the bottom of, but he'll tell you the truth."

// Maybe I don't want to hear the truth... // Toga admitted to himself, although outwardly, he gave Inuyasha a smile and a quick hug of thanks.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Rin had bags upon bags of new clothes, all of them extremely foreign and futuristic in style, and Sesshoumaru had a brief moment to wonder how, exactly, they had gotten them all here. She also had many books. The bindings were strange and the words all looked identical - not one of them was handwritten. Rin then began producing small marvels and Sesshoumaru was thoroughly distracted.

First she produced a small rectangular object that flipped open. It had several buttons on either side of the screen. Rin explained it was a 'video game' and that you controlled the tiny bouncing figures by pushing the various buttons. It ran off of small metal energy tubes, 'batteries', of which she had a large supply. Next she pulled out a couple decks of 'playing cards' and said she could show him several games Kagome had taught her. Sesshoumaru nodded as he eyed it.
The next object was a board game that Rin said was called 'Risk'. You had armies and tried to use them to take over the world. Sesshoumaru's lips twitched into a wide smirk at that - he figured he would like this game very much.

Rin's next box was her present for him and she offered it with a smile. Sesshoumaru took the strange box - Rin called it a 'cooler' - and opened the lid. The inside was carefully packed with a variety of treats Rin had selected for him. Fruits he had never seen, small pastries in some sort of clear crinkly wrapping, a couple of bottles of liquid - Rin described them as 'Pepsi' and 'Mountain Dew', although Sesshoumaru had seen dew on mountains and it had CERTAINLY never looked like that - a round dessert Rin called a 'cheesecake', although it didn't look like a cake or smell like any cheese Sesshoumaru knew of, and one particularly fancy looking chocolate confection that Rin simply called a bump cake.

Sesshoumaru didn't know what to eat first and so he closed the lid - he would make that difficult decision later. "Thank you, Rin. It looks...wonderful."Rin beamed. "Rin has eaten all of these things and they are wonderful! Food in Lady Kagome's world is amazing...but I am glad to be home."

Sesshoumaru eyed her. "Even though you give up your chance to be with humans and have an easy life? You are always going to be in danger here. Insulted by your own for choosing to stay with me. And I am a demon. I have done and will probably in the future do terrible things. You do not fear me?""I will never be afraid of you, Sesshoumaru-sama. My home is wherever you are and my place is with you. Rin does not belong anywhere else."

Sesshoumaru smiled and closed his eyes - just having her back with him made him happy, even if he would never admit it. She loved him unconditionally. "Welcome home, Rin."