InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Pride (In the Name of Love) ❯ Chapter 48

Pride (In the Name of Love) 48 / ??
Written by Jezz-Ra
Warnings - Not all warnings apply to all chapters. Yaoi, Het, Rape, Lemon, Violence, Language, Torture, Angst, Incest, Dark (at times). It's a massive story, folks, it's got a little bit of everything.
Disclaimer - I don't own Inuyasha, don't make money off it. Wish I did.

Sidestories can be found under my author profile at any of my archive sites.
Archived at - inu.adultfanfiction.net, fanfiction.net, and mediaminer.org ::: Anywhere else, ask!
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// blah // indicates thoughts.

A/N - Coming soon - Chapter 49, or "Inu no Taisho Creates the first Department of Homeland Security". Or...I can do this 24 style...and create CTU. I suppose Circle Demons are kinda terrorists, right? *waves a 24 flag* Ahem. Anyway...

Should I have written this story in parts? Does anyone think its BAD for a story to be superlong? I don't intend to change it, wouldn't make much sense....but....lol...maybe I'll eventually split it up into parts. I'm not sure if a story being too long discourages readers or not...not me, but maybe someone, somewhere...thinks.."Damn. I don't wanna read ALL THAT"...*shrug*
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Toga had been right. Sairex and Miroku both were thrilled to hear that their hunt had been successful. Sairex had given Miroku the task of gathering a long list of ingredients and a very large cauldron almost immediately. The monk was eager to help fix his lover and scurried off to start gathering things or have them be gathered. He'd rejoin them in their new room soon. The moment he was gone, Sairex snagged Toga before the inu could depart.

"My Lord...Toga..."

Toga raised an eyebrow and stopped, turning and closing the door again. "Yes, my friend?"

Sairex's voice was quiet. "Vhat did zhe do to him?"

"My Sesshoumaru was somewhat sparing of detail, but...he is fine now. He is fully healed due to Tenseiga's power."

"Vhat...did...zhe do...? Please. I need to know, and I can take it. I am not zo fragile."

"She took out his heart and cut open his belly. Removed his internal organs...why do you need to know?""Hn...divination."

"Pardon?"

"Zhe vanted da answer to a question. Dere...is a method to use da entrails of a living body to divine an answer to a zimple question. It isn't terribly reliable and fails more often dan not."

"That is gruesome, Sairex. Can you do such things?""Kaa...yes. I'm quite good at divination, zcrying...it is zimply da vay my talents run. However, I don't much care to practice dat particular form of divination. Despite my history, you know I'm no bloodthirsty monster."

"Of course not."

Sairex suddenly paled and whirled, clutching Toga by the arms, his expression frantic. "Vait...how deep does da healing of dat zvord run?"

"Tenseiga? As far as I know, the healing is complete. Even to the point of erasing old scars."

Sairex staggered backwards and nearly fell back in the bath. He probably would have if Toga hadn't darted forward and snagged his shirt.
"Sairex, what is wrong?"

"No...no, no..."

Toga's alarm increased and he pulled the raven closer to him. "What is wrong?" he repeated.

"If it heals all vounds vhen it revived....den it healed me, too. Dat means I am...den...oh god."

"You aren't making sense, Sairex. Calm down, breathe..."

"Zhe CAN have my child!" the raven hissed venomously. "Da zvord vould correct da damage I did myzelf..."

"Oh..."

"Zhe must be killed. Now. Zhe can not...if I...if...zhe...If da child is born, how can I kill it? No good can come of my clan."

"You came from your clan, Sairex.""I vas zhielded and isolated.""Who is to say your child can not also be so? You certainly wouldn't impart wicked knowledge to them. I agree, this mother should be destroyed...already the acts she has committed are as despicable as you claim the rest of your clan to be, but a babe is, by nature, innocent."

Sairex chuckled, although there was no humor in it. "All for naught...my race continues beyond me despite my efforts. But ... you are right. I vill have to raise and care for dis child..." He paused and then frowned, his voice dropping lower. "Vhat do you tink Miroku vill zay?... How can I ask dis of him...?"

Toga smiled and clapped his friend on the shoulder. "No worries. In fact, I rather think he'd consider the child as his own and be happy to share in that with you. He seems a good sort. He won't throw you out because of something like this. You can relax. He loves you."

"He zhouldn't, it already got him killed."

"Oh, my friend...if it is one thing I have learned...you cannot pick the ones you love. Love is not a choice, it's an occurrence. It happens. It doesn't care how unlikely or inadvisable a match may be." Toga's tone had turned a bit introspective at that. "If you will excuse me, I have my own inadvisable interest to sleep with."

"You know you're torturing yourzelf vith dat."

"I would rather torture myself by being close and wanting to be closer than waking up in the morning to find he's done something stupid. Sesshoumaru is very stubborn when he makes up his mind about things and he already made up his mind, in some ways, that this was ultimately his own fault. Believe me, Sairex, I don't like to think my pup is suicidal, but I am not fool enough to blind myself to the truth simply because I do not like it." Toga winced and then closed his eyes, his voice heavy. "He has already tried. And while he seems better in many ways...it only takes one small thing to trigger all the pain he keeps bottled up inside. All it takes is one nightmare and I am not there. I will protect my pup, even from himself." Toga paused, then chuckled faintly. "I just don't know who is going to protect him from me."

"Kaa...you vould never hurt him and you're taking great pains to not take advantage of him. Vhat's vrong vith loving your pup if he vants your love? Zezzhoumaru is not veak, nor is he a child even if you cannot tink of him as anyting but. He has zeen da dawn of many centuries. He is intelligent and aware, and he is ztrong. He is capable of making his own choices.""He idolizes me and would do anything to avoid my displeasure. I fear that may even include sharing my bed, and I do not mean that in the fashion he is at present."

"Den be forvard vith him. Ask him vhat he tinks. He vouldn't lie to you. You vorry too much."

Toga sighed. "Everything always has to be so complicated. Do you know what his mother would do to me if she knew I was even entertaining thoughts of lust for him?"

Sairex smirked. "You better take me to my new room and get going. You have a conversation to hold."

"Meh...I hate when you're right.""I'm usually right.""I have a lot of hatred."

Sairex chuckled and let himself be led out of the room to his new quarters.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Toga wasn't sure if Sesshoumaru was still awake by the time he crept into his room. A pair of golden eyes gleamed at him a moment later - apparently, he was. "Mm...I am sorry if I woke you. I spent longer than I thought talking with Sairex."

"It is alright. I was not yet asleep."

"Good, because I do need to talk with you." Toga was aware that he was uncharacteristically fidgeting with his clothing and he willed himself to stop, instead moving to systematically change into his sleeping pants.

"About?""Well, we have several security issues, but that can wait until morning. I have already arranged to have a meeting that we may all sit and discuss what we can do." Toga crawled into bed and propped himself up on his elbow, laying on his side so he could look at Sesshoumaru. Sesshoumaru was in much the same position. Toga was momentarily struck by how the moonlight brought out all the best features in the younger taiyoukai...the shimmering silver of his hair, the smooth, pale skin...

Aware that he was staring, he abruptly shifted his gaze and cleared his throat. "I know that you are aware of the..way my feelings for you have changed from what they once were."

Sesshoumaru nodded slightly. "Yes."

"If you are willing, I do intend to progress in this new facet of our relationship. However, I do not wish to take advantage of you. I need to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that any advances you allow me are not simply because of our previous relationship. I need to know that you want this as badly as I and are not...placating me. Humoring me. Trying to keep me from being upset or disappointed."

Sesshoumaru smiled. In a weird way, it was touching to see his father so concerned over this. "My Lord Father...there is no one, alive or dead, whom holds my respect as you do. You have been all I have striven to be. You will always hold that respect and place of honor in my estimation. However, be that as it may...while I may be...uncertain... about many things...unsure of myself, what I feel, what to do, how to proceed...Even if I cannot sort out all my own confusing feelings, if I did not wish your touch, I would not allow you to touch me. My Lord Father or not, I simply would not allow you to take undesired liberties. I have stood up to you in the past, this is no different."

Toga raised an eyebrow before speaking slowly. "So you are saying you DO want me...?"

Sesshoumaru flushed and looked down. "I do not...not... want you. I simply do not know what I DO want. It is very strange for me. I am not used to submitting to anyone in anything, and yet I have an incredible urge to do so with you. It is...pleasing to me. That in itself is confusing and strange. I am unused to such a position. And I...I am entirely unskilled in...in this regard. I have never...I mean..."

Toga smiled as Sesshoumaru trailed off. He knew well enough what his pup was trying to say. In fact, the thought of Sesshoumaru being entirely unskilled, as he had so succinctly put it, sent a shiver down his spine. Oh, the things he could teach him...and would teach him. It was a huge weight off his shoulders to hear from Sesshoumaru's own lips that he would be stopped if he attempted anything unwanted.

Sesshoumaru sucked in a breath as he was abruptly pinned flat on his back, his wrists pinned on either side of his head by Toga's hands as the elder taiyoukai hovered over him. "That is actually a delight to hear. Do not worry...you can not disappoint or upset me in any way. There are many things I will teach you, but it will not be this night. Too much to do tomorrow morning..."Sesshoumaru's eyes half closed and his voice was a soft murmur. "Of course. I understand if you, in your elder years, cannot stay up a little late and make it through the next day..."

Toga blinked and then burst out laughing. "Why you little devil..." Sesshoumaru simply smirked. "You best be careful what you wish for."

"This Sesshoumaru is always appropriately cautious.""Mm... what is the extent of your relationship with Inuyasha?"

Here Sesshoumaru's blush returned anew and he squirmed ever so slightly, trying to think of how to phrase it without admitting to anything. "I...we...er..."

Toga chuckled and then lowered his head to nip gently at Sesshoumaru's ear. The breath flew out of the younger taiyoukai in a startled gasp, and he abruptly found it hard to concentrate. "W-we were...in the bath and he...touched me..."

"That is all?" Toga was somewhat surprised. Sesshoumaru was THAT untouched? Oh, this would be even more delightful than he had previously anticipated.

"Yes..."

Toga smiled inwardly and slowly trailed his lips down the slender and graceful line of Sesshoumaru's throat, hesitating only briefly. He knew that such a show of dominance over his rather dominant pup, especially after what he had been through, could backfire...however, he didn't think he was reading the signs wrong. He lightly kissed and licked at the skin before closing his teeth in a gentle love-bite.

He hadn't been wrong. Sesshoumaru's reaction was what he had hoped for and more. The younger taiyoukai let out a sharp gasp, his back arching slightly as a warm shudder ran through him. He tilted his head to the side, baring his neck in an open display of submission, reveling in the surprisingly erotic thrill it gave him. He had always assumed he would despise being dominated by anyone for any reason. And with anyone else, he probably would have been correct.

His thoughts were abruptly distracted as Toga's hands released his wrists and instead wrapped firmly around him, pulling him flush against his own body as he leaned in to give him a deeply passionate, thorough kiss. Sesshoumaru opened to it willingly and returned it. Their tongues twined and slithered around each other before eagerly exploring every bit of each other's mouths. Hands tangled in long silvery hair and their bodies pressed tightly together.

Sesshoumaru realized with a start as they ground together that his father was as wholly aroused as he was. It was only with a supreme act of will that Toga released his lips, panting hard, his golden eyes dark with desire.

"As badly as I want you...I was serious. Dawn will come early and we both need our sleep. If...if I do not stop before this goes much further...I will not be able to and we will both still be awake although liably quite exhausted by sunrise."

Sesshoumaru nodded, somewhat dazed, and then let out a long breath. He knew Toga was right, although the thought of drowning in sensation ALL NIGHT did nothing to cool the lust still spreading through his blood.

Toga sighed and gave in to the urge to kiss him again, although it was much longer and more intimate than he had intended. A small groan escaped him. "Dear gods, you undo me...I'm so grateful you want this. I don't know how I ever would have resisted you." Toga sighed and flipped Sesshoumaru to his side and snuggled against him...although this proved to be a rather compromising position and did little to calm either of them. Sesshoumaru thought briefly about grinding back against the elder inu but decided he probably really DID need some sleep tonight...although the urge almost won out over his logic.

"Goodnight, my Sesshoumaru..." Toga whispered, delivering another kiss and gentle nibble to Sesshoumaru's ear.

"Goodnight..."

It was likely to be a long night for both of them.