InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Pride (In the Name of Love) ❯ Chapter 52

Pride (In the Name of Love) 52 / ??
Written by Jezz-Ra
Warnings - Not all warnings apply to all chapters. Yaoi, Het, Rape, Lemon, Violence, Language, Torture, Angst, Incest, Dark (at times). It's a massive story, folks, it's got a little bit of everything.
Disclaimer - I don't own Inuyasha, don't make money off it. Wish I did.

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// blah // indicates thoughts.

A/N - Well, I missed yesterday due to Mother's Day and various other issues with my father's surgery so I make it up to you with a...mm...nice...chapter. It was written to music, actually, and some threads of the song may have made it into my writing...though the song ultimately has nothing to do with the situation. At all. Not even a little bit. XD Something about the story and the tune and the ultimate message...

For those that care, it was "Major Tom (Coming Home)". The remake version by Shiny Toy Guns (for some reason seems to tug my emotional strings more than Peter Schilling's version). For those that don't know, the song is written about a David Bowie song called "Space Oddity"...in which Major Tom takes off into space and stops responding to ground control and is presumed dead as his shuttle continues off. Well, this song is about Major Tom's flight and how he took off and was drifting off into space...and abandoning, giving up his life on earth and going home. No one else understood, everyone mourned...but ultimately, it was what he wanted, had to do. He wasn't being lost to space, he was going home. ((and as a further bit of trivia, Bowie wrote another song many years later after Space Oddity with a message from Major Tom in it, letting everyone know that he hadn't died after all. Just...so ya know.))

Back at ground control / there is a problem. / "Go to rockets full." / Not responding. / "Hello Major Tom. / Are you receiving? / Turn the thrusters on. / We're standing by." / There's no reply.
4, 3, 2, 1 / Earth below us / drifting, falling. / Floating weightless / calling, calling home...
Across the stratosphere, / a final message: / "Give my wife my love." / Then nothing more.
Far beneath the ship, / the world is mourning. / They don't realize / he's alive. / No one understands, / but Major Tom sees. / "Now the light commands / this is my home, / I'm coming home."

What does this have to do with this chapter AT ALL? Nothing, really...unless you consider the emotions behind it. Giving in to something that people would never accept...even if you regret things about it, doing it anyway because that is where your heart truly lies. A final decision, a choice that can't be taken back and won't be understood by pretty much anyone...and not one that is truly happy in all ways but ultimately will bring a measure of peace you cannot otherwise obtain.

Yeah, ok, I'm crazy. >> Just figured I'd share. You'll think its even crazier when you realize what that all was my mental soundtrack to...read on. And I hope you find it satisfactory... I attempted to do it justice.
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Rin was dismissed to return to her studies with the promise of more...detailed instruction in the art of combat the following morning. When the girl had left, Sesshoumaru jabbed his finger accusingly at his father.

"This Sesshoumaru does not appreciate you teasing me in front of my ward...nor any other sort of....of displays."

"Ah, but you make it so delightful..." Toga smirked, then moved without warning, catching Sesshoumaru and pinning him against the wall, his arms on either side of the younger inu to prevent an immediate escape. His voice dropped to a low murmur. "Displays, mm?"

Sesshoumaru swallowed. "She....does not need to bear witness to such things."

"You act as though I attempted to throw you down and ravish you in front of her eyes."

"It is...is not that. I just...do not like others becoming involved in my personal affairs. It is not their business."

"And y ou wish to be the only one to despoil the young Lady Rin's innocent naivete?"

Sesshoumaru's jaw dropped and he struggled to retaliate but was too stunned to retort beyond a blush.

Toga simply smiled. "Oh, believe me, not much gets by me, pup. I've seen the way you act around her. You are possessive, territorial, and protective...and you do love her. You've marked her and she bears it proudly."

"I...I don't...I..." Sesshoumaru sighed and took in a deep breath. "Had all continued in my life as normal as it was, yes, I intended to take her as my mate. Then everything changed and now...I am not ready for the responsibility of protecting a mate or raising a pup of my own. I am not...emotionally capable of being in such a position. Maybe eventually."

"You never cease to impress me." Toga smiled. He WAS impressed, both at Sesshoumaru's insight and his admission. And he knew it was likely the truth.

Sesshoumaru's eyes were slightly downcast - Toga knew how much his precious pup hated to admit to any weakness, especially to him. He caught the younger taiyoukai's chin in his fingers and forced his gaze back up to meet his own. "Let me take care of you for a while, then, my Sesshoumaru..."

Sesshoumaru's golden eyes widened slightly at the low, husky purr of Toga's voice. The words sent a shiver down his spine. Would it be so very terrible to relinquish control, to let someone else care for him, protect him? To not have to be strong for a while? // It would be if it were anyone but him... // His heart skipped a beat as the elder inu leaned in and claimed his lips in a gentle but intimate kiss. With a low sigh, Sesshoumaru gave in to the kiss and returned it, leaning back comfortably against the wall. Toga's lips caressed his tenderly but insistently, and slowly his tongue slid out to lightly trail over Sesshoumaru's lips. Sesshoumaru was more than willing to allow him entry, and Toga wasted no time in moving in, intent on tasting every bit of his delicious puppy.

Sesshoumaru felt the arms that had been halfheartedly pinning him in place coil around his waist and pull him into a warm embrace. He was more than happy to return the gesture, his arms snaking around Toga's neck and unconsciously pulling him in closer as their kiss deepened, both of them growing hungrier for the other. Toga took a half step forward, his body pressing flush against Sesshoumaru's and pinning him more firmly. Their tongues dueled and tried to tie one another in knots.

When Toga finally felt he would explode if he didn't breathe soon, he pulled back, his chest heaving. Sesshoumaru's expression was a cross between being utterly dazed and...hungry. With a low half growl, half moan Toga leaned in to kiss and nip at Sesshoumaru's ear, his hands sliding down to grip him by the hips and pull him closer. His blood was starting to burn at the intoxicating spicy-sweet scent and the indefinable, delicious taste of the beautiful creature against him. Oh, he wanted more...but he had to be certain.

Whatever reserves he held vaporized in the next moment as Sesshoumaru tilted his head, baring the long, graceful line of his throat in submission...an unspoken invitation and quite possibly the most seductive thing he could have done. Toga let out a pleased groan as his doubts vanished and he leaned in, gently nibbling at the vulnerable flesh before sinking his teeth in - not hard enough to draw blood but a clear display of dominance. Sesshoumaru's reaction simply heightened his lust, the younger taiyoukai letting slip a shuddering moan. Sesshoumaru was glad for the wall behind him and the sheer and simple solidity of his father's form - otherwise, he was sure he would have fallen as his legs seemed to have turned to water.

Distantly it occurred to Sesshoumaru that the midst of the public arena might not be the best place for this, although it took some time for his brain to understand why. Thinking wasn't high on his list of priorities at the moment. His train of thought almost derailed again at another nip to his throat. However, the half-formed idea took enough root for him to act on it. With a concentrated burst of will he teleported them both across the castle to Toga's bedchamber.

Toga felt a strange sensation intruding on his lust enough to flick his eyes open and withdraw slightly. He took note of their change of scenery and a grin spread across his face. "Convenient..." He paused to take a look at Sesshoumaru and almost groaned again - he always looked good, but there was something about those golden eyes being half-lidded and darkened with lust, those perfect lips kiss-swollen, slightly disheveled silver hair wisping about...

Toga simply could not resist, his arms snapping around Sesshoumaru's waist and pulling him tightly against his own body again, leaning in to crush their lips together, devouring him, trying to crawl into him through his mouth.

Before Sesshoumaru realized Toga's hands had shifted, he felt the weight of his sword belt gently pulled from him. Deft fingers expertly unfastened his armor next, letting it drop next to his swords. Before Sesshoumaru could think too long on it, however, he let out a startled noise as he was suddenly lifted off his feet and carried the short distance to the massive bed. He was set down on the edge of it as Toga took a half step back. Sesshoumaru swallowed and his heart fluttered in his chest like a broken-winged bird at the flaming gold eyes focused on him.

Toga took the moment to shed his own weaponry and armor before striding forward to join Sesshoumaru. Sesshoumaru had slid himself more to the middle of the large mattress. Toga wasted little time in slipping in and bracing himself on his arms over the younger taiyoukai, looking at him for a long moment before giving in to the powerful urge to kiss him again. Sesshoumaru's arms hooked back around him as he returned the kiss at least as good at it was given.

Toga shifted his weight to one arm, his free hand sliding down to work out the knot in Sesshoumaru's obi. Once that was out of the way he began working on his haori, pausing when he had the fabric opened. His eyes raked over the bared skin and he simply had to have a taste.

Sesshoumaru groaned as Toga's lips trailed over his collarbone and then down his chest. Powerful hands slid over the taut muscles of his stomach and over his sides, mapping out every inch of him. Toga burned the image and the feel of him into the back of his mind. He drew a startled gasp from Sesshoumaru as he latched his teeth gently onto a nipple, flicking the nub with his tongue. Sesshoumaru's back arched and his fingers fisted into the thick furs beneath him. Toga soon moved to grant the other the same treatment.

Sesshoumaru was so distracted from the unpredictable series of kisses, licks, and nibbles to notice that he was being further disrobed until Toga released him long enough to speak, his voice low and husky with desire. "Lift your hips." He complied, realizing distantly that after this last barrier was removed, he was entirely naked. The thought brought more blood to his cheeks. Toga stared at him for a long moment. "Dear gods, you're beautiful..." he whispered in an almost broken tone.

Toga was aware that he was staring and abruptly shook himself free of it, swooping in for another desperate kiss as he trailed his fingers along the jagged crimson stripes adorning Sesshoumaru's hips. Something in his mind was screaming desperately at him. It demanded he stop before it was too late. If things continued...this could not be undone. Even the more liberal minds of youkai society would not openly accept their relationship. No one would understand. It was so wrong of him to burn so for his pup...but even as his rational mind begged him to stop before it was too late, Toga knew it was already too late. His desire was too strong. And it was not mere lust, he fiercely loved his pup, as he always had. The want...the need to protect him, to love him...to replace the horrible memories seared into his mind with ones of pleasure...to feel that beautiful body against him, writhing in the deepest of ecstasies...the need overwhelmed his misgivings. Even if it damned him - and his mind assured him it would - Toga knew things were out of his control. With a low sigh, he surrendered.

Sesshoumaru's own thoughts were knotted and chaotic, when he could think enough to grasp feebly at them. Oh, but his father had a devious, talented tongue... His thoughts ran on a parallel to Toga's in a way. He knew how forbidden this particular union was, but he couldn't bring himself to care enough. He felt a fluttery nervousness beating at the back of his mind like dark wings, but it was still held distant by his knowledge, his unwavering trust, that he was safe here if no where else. Toga would never willingly do a thing to bring him harm...even if he was surely driving him to madness at the moment.

Sesshoumaru's vision failed him as white sparks suddenly exploded behind his eyes. Whatever thoughts he had had were sizzled away in the white heat that seared his brain as Toga's tongue slowly flickered over the head of his erection. The sensation snapped something in Sesshoumaru's mind and his gasp bled into a ragged moan as lips wrapped around the head of his cock, Toga's arm sliding over his waist to hold him still.

Toga slowly glanced up through his eyelashes to more fully gauge Sesshoumaru's surprisingly powerful reaction. A shuddering thrill ran down his spine and lust shot through his blood. Sesshoumaru was always so repressed and made such an effort not to feel that when that barrier was breached...when he gave in... it was all the more intense. Knowing that he was the one currently causing his pup such devastating pleasure was threatening to undo him more than anything else had previously.

Sesshoumaru panted harshly, unaware that his claws had punched holes through the fur they held in a death-grip. As Toga made love to him with his tongue and his mouth, as his almost painfully aroused shaft was drawn deep into that tight, wet heat...Sesshoumaru lost all ability to think. He couldn't fathom why he had ever had any resistance to this, why it could possibly be a bad idea. Hell, it was doubtful he could recall his own name at the moment. Sesshoumaru's spine bowed as another shattering wave of sensation crashed over him, but his hips were held firmly in place. He was distantly aware that someone was making a desperate, half-whining moan of need and it took him a moment to realize it was he himself.

Sesshoumaru's sensitive nose caught the faint scent of the oil, even though his mind was far too gone to bother identifying it fully beyond unthreatening and therefore fully unworthy of his notice at present. His body stiffened when he felt the first brush of Toga's now slippery fingers. The tension faded quickly, however, drowned by the overwhelming pleasure still being paid his erection.

Toga slowly worked his fingers back to Sesshoumaru's entrance, gently massaging a liberal amount of oil into the tight muscle. So distracted was Sesshoumaru, in fact, that he didn't notice when one digit slowly pressed into him a short way. The younger taiyoukai abruptly stiffened as the breath blasted from his lungs. Toga's hand froze and he released Sesshoumaru from his mouth. "Shh...I won't hurt you, my beloved..." he murmured.

"I know..." Sesshoumaru managed to gasp after a moment, willing himself to relax. The nervous tension in the back of his mind was no longer so distant. However, it got kicked into a corner a moment later. Toga had taken him back into his mouth as his finger slid in further and then bent just slightly, brushing against something inside of him that drew a sharp, involuntary cry from Sesshoumaru. His body arched against him so forcefully Toga almost wondered if he would snap his spine against his restraint.

Sesshoumaru had never, never imagined such a feeling could exist, that such a gentle touch could send so much ecstasy through his veins. All fear and nervousness was abruptly forgotten and the younger taiyoukai could do nothing but feel and struggle to continue breathing.

Toga carefully worked a second finger in with the first, taking advantage of the pleasure he had shot screaming through Sesshoumaru's veins. Sesshoumaru writhed in increasing desperation, his body insisting that he had to stop or surely shatter...and had to have more, else he would surely die. Nothing could be so intense, so impossibly overwhelming.

The leash on Toga's own patience and desire was strained and unraveling. He was reluctant to move but knew he had no choice. Slowly he let Sesshoumaru's erection slip from his lips, although he gave it several licks in consolation. He almost came undone at the desperate, needy groan that accompanied the withdrawal of his fingers. Sesshoumaru's eyes flickered open, wondering at Toga's withdrawal...and he paused to stare.

Toga wasted little time in removing his clothing and tossing it to the side. His eyes never left Sesshoumaru, aware of his pup's gaze as he finished stripping.

Sesshoumaru couldn't breathe. He was sure that this creature before him could be no mere youkai but surely must be a god, a god among gods. He was aware that he was staring, probably gaping, and he didn't care. Toga was an unrealized fantasy come to life. His form was flawless, powerful and yet graceful. Sesshoumaru's eyes drifted lower and he knew he was blushing. He was familiar with his own body, but somehow the certainty of Toga's was awesome.

Toga moved back into position and braced himself over Sesshoumaru, leaning forward to give him a kiss that was bruising in its intensity. Sesshoumaru could taste himself on his tongue and lips, and somehow that served only to heighten his already painful arousal. His moan was wild with burning need as the kiss broke. Toga had slid back and was kneeling between his legs, although he hadn't moved yet. It took a moment for Sesshoumaru to fathom his words when he spoke. It was a question as much as a statement. "I want to make love to you, my Sesshoumaru..." he whispered.

Sesshoumaru's mind reeled and he wondered if words alone were enough to throw one into climax. He said the only thing he could think of, aware that he was practically begging and not at all caring. "Oh, please..."

Toga needed no further prompting; he was fairly sure that if he didn't take care of his arousal soon his mind and body both would shatter, burn to ash. He poured a liberal amount of oil into his palm and worked it over his straining cock with a small hiss of breath, trying to recall the last time he had been so turned on. He could not.

With almost agonizing slowness, he positioned himself. One final glance did not provide a reason for him to stop and he slowly pressed forward.

Sesshoumaru's eyes popped back open as he felt Toga start to slide into him. Abruptly, panic welled up in his mind. Oh, this would never work...he was too big, he would never fit...and the pain, oh dear gods, the PAIN...

Toga felt him stiffen abruptly and froze, although every muscle in his body screamed for him to move. He fought desperately to control his breathing, his hands sliding soothingly over Sesshoumaru's chest, stomach and thighs in a gentle caress. "Relax...it may hurt a bit, but I promise it will feel so good...just relax...I won't harm you..."

When the immediate rending anguish of previous experience did not occur in whole or part, simply a mild discomfort at being unusually stretched, Sesshoumaru did relax. The fear receded and lust began to pool back in its place. He shifted his hips and drew a strangled moan from them both as the motion drove Toga further into him. Abruptly, his nervous fear shattered and Sesshoumaru wanted MORE, wanted it more than anything he had ever wanted in all his life. "Please...I...I need you...now...gods..." he managed to gasp.

Toga almost sobbed in relief and slowly pushed forward, biting his lip hard enough to draw blood as he sank into Sesshoumaru's body. Oh, he was impossibly hot and tight...no wonder this was a sin, it felt too good to be anything but.

Sesshoumaru moaned, his back bowed and his fingers digging into the bedding as Toga pushed into him completely. The sensation was wholly different than the brutality he had experienced previously, that he had secretly feared would inevitably occur no matter how careful Toga was. It did hurt a small bit, but it was a good ache, one that was melting as his body adjusted. He felt sure he would split apart, he was so very full...he had never felt so complete before.

Toga felt the subtle shift in his lover as Sesshoumaru adjusted to the invasion, the way he tried to press closer. He took the cue and withdrew before thrusting back in, almost coming undone at the sound of Sesshoumaru's gasp. His eyes slid shut as he began to rock his hips, a moan of his own escaping him.

Whatever lingering traces of pain Sesshoumaru had been experiencing vanished abruptly, washed out in this new flood of sensation. A heavy, primal, animal need boiled up within him and he groaned, overwhelmed and unable to get enough at the same time. He was sure whatever was left of his sanity had surely shattered. Desperate to sate this new need, he hooked his long, slender legs around Toga in an effort to pull him closer, deeper. He wasn't even aware of the pleas falling from his lips. "Oh gods...please...more..."

Toga couldn't resist even if he had wanted to. He shifted position so his body covered Sesshoumaru's more fully, a devilish smile curling his lips as he shifted the angle of his thrust and drove in powerfully. His effort was rewarded with a strangled half-scream as he ground against the bundle of nerves inside Sesshoumaru. With a low growl he surrendered fully, leaning in to latch his teeth into Sesshoumaru's throat, driving into him powerfully.

Sesshoumaru was mentally gone. His mind was screaming, crystalline strands of pleasure, resonating at a ever higher pitch. Every driving snap of Toga's hips rubbed the place inside him that boiled his blood and made him cry out. He was aware of the sharp fangs in his throat, deadly and dangerous and able to tear him open in an instant...and the claim for whatever reason only served to raise his passion to a new level. His claws dug into Toga's shoulders, although the bright dots of blood and tiny spears of pain simply drove Toga to a newer level of ecstasy.

Sesshoumaru's tenuous grip on reality melted as Toga's fingers curled around his throbbing erection, stroking him in time to the pounding of his hips. It was simply too much sensation. Sesshoumaru let out a howl as his world condensed to the point of a pin and then exploded, his orgasm ripping through him.

Toga's eyes rolled back in his head as Sesshoumaru's impossibly tight body contracted around him, spasming as he drove into that wonderful heat. The howl of rapture from his pup was too much for him to withstand in any case, and a loud groan of his own tore free of his throat. He snapped his hips forward as deeply as he could as his climax hit, electric shocks dancing across his nerves. He froze where he was for what seemed like an eternity as they both tried to regain something of themselves.

When Toga felt he could move without breaking, he moved to lay next to Sesshoumaru. They were both sweaty and exhausted and utterly sated.

It was with more than a little surprise that he saw the dazed blissful look on Sesshoumaru's face dissolve into an anguish so intense that his body convulsed and his eyes rolled back, unconsciousness claiming him.