InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Pride (In the Name of Love) ❯ Chapter 115

Pride (In the Name of Love) 115 / ??
Written by Jezz-Ra
Warnings - Not all warnings apply to all chapters. Yaoi, Het, Rape, Lemon, Violence, Language, Torture, Angst, Incest, Dark (at times). It's a massive story, folks, it's got a little bit of everything.
Disclaimer - I don't own Inuyasha, don't make money off it. Wish I did.

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// blah // indicates thoughts.

A/N - This chapter...amused me. ^^
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Miroku sighed as he saw Sairex drop his head into a book with a loud groan. "Sairex, you've been reading almost all night. Come to bed and rest. Kouga's not been harmed, he can wait until the morning."

Sairex slowly turned to look at Miroku and snorted. "I don't tink you fully underztand da full ramifications of dis, Miroku. C'mere, sit down. I vant to zhow you zometing." The raven got out of his chair and moved his books. Miroku sat down, giving his lover a curious expression.

"So...er..."

"Vatch da vall. I'm going to zhow you vhat's going to happen here."

Miroku blinked and looked at the wall, arching an eyebrow. "Shadow puppets?"

"Yes. Zee, it's like dis..."

Miroku blinked as the shadows cast from Sairex's hands took on actual shapes instead of simple shadows. The one on the left took on a silhouette resembling Sairex, and the one on the right looked like Toga. The shadows even had tiny facial features, little holes cut in their inky fabric for eyes and mouths.

Shadow-Sairex walked happily up towards Shadow-Toga, whistling cheerily. Small shadowy music notes drifted up from the shadow and popped a few moments later. "Vell, hi dere, Lord Toga!"

Shadow-Toga smiled hugely and rested his hands on his hips. Sairex took on a deep voice for Toga's part and Miroku had to struggle not to laugh. "Vell, hi dere, Zairex!"

"Guess vhat! I'm a bloody moron and, as if you didn't have enough trouble from all zorts of other places, I vent and caused you more! I turned your zon's mate into a child. I may not be able to fix him. And on top of dat, his pack vill be leaderless, because da volf tribe is lead by ztrength and not blood!"

Shadow-Toga frowned deeply and crossed his arms over his chest. "Vhat zort of fledgling hedge-vizard are you?!"

"Oh, I'm not. In fact, I never botched a zpell dis badly. Hah, I vaited until it vould REALLY cause ALL zorts of political nightmares, not to mention da fact dat even if Kouga does grow up he might not be da zame person and I may as vell have killed your zon's mate!"

Shadow-Toga proceeded to pounce on a very distressed looking Shadow-Sairex and started pummeling him before launching into a series of wrestling moves. Miroku finally turned to look at his lover and sighed. Sairex let his hands drop and sighed heavily himself.

"You and I both know Toga wouldn't beat you up."

"Yes, vell, dat doesn't change da fact dat dis is no zimple zcrew-up on my part. Kouga could very vell lose leadership of his pack if dey find out...and Toga could lose his allies if dey zomehow came to tink dat dis vas done on purpose or vhatever."

Miroku stood up and blinked, something moving in the corner of his vision. He looked over. The miniature shadows were still fighting. The monk arched an eyebrow as he watched Shadow-Toga deliver a spine-cracking suplex to the very sad and abused looking Shadow-Sairex. "Er...how long are they going to keep that up?"
"Huh?...Oh. Er. Heh." Sairex murmured softly and the miniature silhouettes vanished just before Shadow-Toga could deliver a massive elbow drop onto the dazed Shadow-Sairex.

"I know it's a bad situation. You didn't do this on purpose, however, and there surely must be a way to fix it. And even if things do get tricky, we'll get through. Look at all else we've survived with all the trials poor Sesshoumaru has been put through. No one is dead or even injured and Kouga's still right here. It could be much, much worse. Now lay down and get some sleep. You need to be sharp if you're going to figure anything out. Pushing yourself past exhaustion won't do any good to anyone."

The raven sighed reluctantly but conceded, crawling into bed. Miroku hugged him close, and despite his earlier protests, Sairex was asleep in moments.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

A pair of heavy-lidded golden eyes slowly opened. Sesshoumaru caught sight of the tiny motion almost instantly.

Sometime early on in the day, Sairex's spell had broken and Toga had fallen immediately into an exhausted slumber. The next day's dawn was only a scant hour away.

Toga took mental stock of himself. He felt groggy and was still tired. There were a few lingering traces of pain from his wound, but nothing serious. He had more or less closed up.

// Damn, but my throat aches...// Toga's eyes slid over to a pitcher of water sitting on a table a short ways from his bed with a glass sitting next to it. // Keh, it's all the way over there... // Toga's gaze was drawn to Sesshoumaru as his son stood up abruptly, but the elder inu was too tired to be appropriate surprised. He hadn't even realized his pup was sitting in the room, so still and quiet had Sesshoumaru been.

Sesshoumaru flitted over to the water pitcher immediately, filling the glass and silently offering it to Toga as the elder taiyoukai propped himself up a bit to drink.

When he had sufficiently soothed the ache in his throat, Toga set the glass down and took a good look at Sesshoumaru, a slight frown creasing his lips.

Sesshoumaru's eyes were downcast, partially shrouded by his bangs. His pup was entirely too thin and his entire body seemed...tight, wired and coiled with some sort of high-strung nervous tension.

"My Sesshoumaru...?" Toga whispered softly. Sesshoumaru's gaze snapped up, and Toga was shocked at the way his pup's bloodshot eyes seemed to jitter, filled with a deep and haunted paranoia. His gaze didn't stay fixated on Toga's, instead occasionally darted off and returned after a split second. Sesshoumaru was hugging his arms tightly to his chest. The boy looked like he fully expected to be attacked by something horrific and huge at any moment. // ...Or that he'll wake up at any moment and discover that I am naught but a hallucination...oh, my poor Sesshoumaru, how you must have suffered...// "Sesshoumaru...please, come here. Lay with me. You do not look like you've slept much."

Sesshoumaru licked his lips nervously before answering. "N-no..I have not been able to sleep much." Still, Sesshoumaru made no move to approach Toga, staying where he was.

Toga's frown deepened. "Will you not join me, my Sesshoumaru? Please...I have missed you so terribly and ached to hold you close to me..."

Sesshoumaru quivered before letting his arms drop limply to his sides and his head falling forward as a low, pained whine tore itself from his soul. "Oh, my Lord Father, please, forgive me..."

Toga blinked in horrified shock at the utterly broken tone in Sesshoumaru's voice. "What? There is nothing to forgive! You have done nothing wrong!"

"I have sinned terribly...I have lusted for you..."

Toga's brow furrowed and his head ached. Damn this fuzziness in his brain...! "As have I for you. It was I who initiated our intimacy. Why on earth would you feel guilt for this?"

"No...Not just...I always have. Since before I had a name for it. It is why I never was interested in a mate...why I hated Izayoi so much...why I hated everyone else...who knows how many countless nights I had fraught with dreams I could not explain, could not put a face to?...Forgive me..."

Toga blinked, although he wasn't horribly shocked by the revelation. It simply made sense. Had he been looking for the signs, perhaps he would have noticed Sesshoumaru's interest far sooner...it simply hadn't even occurred to him. And if his pup had ever acted strange, well...he was Sesshoumaru. Even at his most normal behavior, Sesshoumaru was far different than anyone else Toga had ever interacted with. "Oh, my beloved Sesshoumaru...do not trouble yourself with such thoughts. There is nothing for me to forgive. Why would I ever be upset by your love when I love you as much as I do?"

Sesshoumaru slowly lifted his eyes. "...And then I was willing to believe you weren't real...that...none of this...."

"You were deceived, cruelly, and it is no fault of your own. Please...come to me, my son. Everything is alright."

"He marked me...and...and your mark is gone." Toga could plainly hear the shame in Sesshoumaru's tone.

"Nothing that can't be fixed. We will simply remove his mark as we have done before and I will happily reinstate my own physical claim on you."

Sesshoumaru eyed Toga, the tremulous doubt still obvious in his expression. His eyes widened a bit when Toga growled softly.

"Sesshoumaru...you are MINE. No matter what anyone else says, no matter what that horrible creature has said or done, no matter what false thoughts or doubts have run through your head. You belong to me and no other. That is something that runs far deeper than a simple scar. He marked your flesh but I hold your soul. You have always been mine, even if I did not realize it as soon as I should have."

"Yes, my Lord Father..." Sesshoumaru whispered, feeling tears of...relief?...gratitude...?...pricking the corners of his eyes. The strong note of command in Toga's voice was rapidly overwhelming the doubts and dissenting voices chewing on his mind.

"Now, Sesshoumaru...come here and lay down." It was neither a request or an offer, it was an order. There was no room for argument in Toga's voice. Sesshoumaru felt his body moving before his mind even caught up, and he slid under the covers, grateful to have the decisions taken out of his hands. Almost immediately he was pulled into a strong embrace. A soft, quavering sigh escaped Sesshoumaru's lips and he closed his eyes as Toga buried his face into his hair.

It felt so good and so freeing to finally allow his defenses to rest. Yes...he could be safe here if nowhere else.

Toga let out a soft sigh of his own, feeling tears slipping from beneath his eyelids. Dear gods, he had truly never expected to be able to hold his Sesshoumaru again. No matter how it had made his heart break, he had become more and more convinced that his beautiful pup was either dead or forever beyond his reach. He had retained some tiny shred of hope...but that had only served to deepen his heartbreak with each day that passed with no word or sign.

And yet, here Sesshoumaru was now, in his arms and curled quivering against his chest. His pup had surely suffered an indescribable, monstrous amount of torment. It had clearly taken its toll on him. Toga had never seen his son so frail and damaged, not even the first time he had been freed of the terrible dracolich.

But broken or not, damaged or used or ripped and discarded...his Sesshoumaru was lying in his arms once more. Perhaps it wasn't a solution, but it was a start.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Inuyasha woke up with a yelp as something sharp sank into his ear. "Ow!" He jerked up to a sitting position and blinked as a tiny wolf-demon went flying, teeth unlatching from Inuyasha's ear.

A quick grab by the hanyou caught Kouga before he flew right off the bed. The little wolf landed on his belly on the mattress with a thump and squirmed around automatically so he was facing Inuyasha.

"What the hell was that for, ya...extra-scrawny wolf?"

"I was westling!"

Inuyasha squinted. "Oh, you can talk, can ya? And you can't wrestle me if you're so small."

"Can too. I'm th' toughest wolf eva!"

"Are you, now..."

"An'...an'...you just a stinky DOG and wolfses are better than dogs."

Inuyasha squinted. "Oh, is that what you think, squirt? And what exactly is a runt like you going to do to me?"

Kouga squinted his impossibly large blue eyes before letting out his fiercest growl and launching himself at Inuyasha, teeth-first. Inuyasha caught him by the tail and struggled to keep his limbs out of snapping jaws filled with sharp little teeth, growling himself...and the fight was on in full.

Some things never changed.