InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Pride (In the Name of Love) ❯ Chapter 139 ( Chapter 139 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Pride (In the Name of Love) 139 / ??
Written by Jezz-Ra
Warnings - Not all warnings apply to all chapters.  Yaoi, Het, Rape, Lemon, Violence, Torture, Language, Angst, Incest, Dark (at times).  It's a massive story, folks, it's got a little bit of everything.
Disclaimer - I don't own Inuyasha, don't make money off it.  Wish I did.

Sidestories can be found under my author profile at any of my archive sites.
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// Blah // indicates thoughts.

A/N - I forgot how crazy good it felt to get reviews filling up my inbox, the delight I take in torturing my fans...bwahaha.  And oh, my.  Wow, so, it took me a while to figure out a formatting thing that actually worked - I apologize for anyone new to the story that's reading where my header or footer got absorbed into the chapter due to my formatting lines vanishing and whatnot, or anyone that wanted to email me but couldn't because the link was destroyed.  I'll have to go back and fix it (fanfiction dot net seems to be the most confused).  

I did some research on freefalls.  Terminal velocity (the speed your body reaches before it won't increase any more without assistance vs. air resistance) is about 120 miles per hour.  There ARE documented cases on people surviving without a parachute...but even a fall of thirty feet - much less velocity - is often fatal.  Skydivers do learn a 'five point landing' type thing to hit the ground in phases to absorb impact if a parachute malfunctions but that doesn't mean it spares them severe injury or death.  Anyway, you're not here to listen to me babble.  Long chapter because I couldn't find a good stopping point.

I'm a little uncertain of the direction I went in the end of this chapter... we'll see what y'all think.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Cons ciousness came to the monk with great difficulty.  He was dimly aware, as his mind struggled to paddle through the thick, murky darkness of his removed state, that he was lying in an unnatural, awkward position.  The air around him wasn't hot and dry, but rather cool and damp, smelling of grass and earth.  He heard the soft rustle of wind through the leaves of a nearby tree, and he almost allowed himself to submerge back into the comforting, blissful dark caressing his senses and trying to pull him back under.

Then he moved the slightest bit, and came awake with a wheeze as pain ignited along his nerves like caged lightning.  Blue eyes snapped open wide as he tried to get his mental feet back under him.  He had no idea how long he'd lay where he was.  His leg was twisted at an impossible angle beneath him, and one of his wrists was badly broken as well, both terribly swollen.  More cuts, gouges and bruises were littered over his body than he could take note of.  

// Oh, dear Buddha, the pain... // Miroku squeezed his eyes shut tightly, tears of pain stinging them, gasping for air...and oh, how even that small motion burned, as if his ribs were compressed and bent out of shape.  He slowly forced his eyes open to try and take stock of his surroundings.  

// Where am I?... // Dimly he noted the clear blue sky and the gently waving grass around him, confused and not understanding how he had come to be so desperately hurt, how he had come to be under this clear blue sky instead of the sandy desert.  His mind kept drifting, his focus shaky at best and unconsciousness beating at the edges of his mind with dark black wings.

// Focus...I must focus.  I cannot lay here....wherever here is.  Focus. // Miroku forced his stuttering consciousness into the familiar pattern of meditation, hoping he could distance himself from his earthly concerns enough to take a better look at where he was.  His eyes slid shut heavily....and really, would it be so bad to return to that cool, blissful dark?  Nothing had hurt then, it was only when he was forced to be awake ....

// No.  I must focus.  I must find my center, find my balance, my peace.  I am hurt, but only in body.  Its a merely mortal concern.  My soul is merely resting here.  I am more than this earthly existence.  I am free, I am light, I am a feather drifting in the wind.  I... //  Miroku's attempt at meditation shattered instantly and he managed to shoot into a half-sitting position, a sudden thought knifing cleanly through his disorientation.  // Feather..SAIREX! //

The monk's eyes cast about until he locked on the sight of a battered mess of black feathers draped over the top of a fallen tree.   The sight spurred new energy into him, although his body could ill afford the exertion.  Miroku tried to get up, but he didn't have the strength for something like that.  With a low moan, he set about the laborious task of dragging himself up the hill towards the tree, nearly losing consciousness every time his shattered leg or wrist bumped the ground.  He made the tree after what seemed like a small eternity, and for the briefest of moments he forgot his pain, forgot everything except the sight of his broken raven.

The first thing he noticed was the blood...oh, so much blood.  It had more or less dried in most places, although some were still sticky and gleamed darkly around the edges of the most obvious of Sairex's injuries.  A sharp, rough branch about an inch in diameter had thrust through his back and was sticking out of his belly like a short and ragged spear.  More blood...dear Buddha, the blood was everywhere, how could there be so much blood?!... had at some point been trickling from Sairex's ears and the corner of his mouth.  His wings were a shambled collection of broken, delicate bones.  The raven's neck lolled at an odd angle and his hair was matted with more blood, from an injury Miroku couldn't see.

The monk tried desperately to crawl closer, unable to determine if his tattered lover was ... no, he had to be alive.  He just had to.  But the activity was too much for him,  ragged and broken as his own body was and further weakened from exposure to the elements. He had no way of knowing that he had lain at the foot of the hill for the better part of three days.  However, the exertion of trying to force his severely weakened body to obey him was too much.  Everything went black as he tumbled into the heavy darkness of unconsciousness,.  As he fell, he could think of nothing but the shattered and disjointed memory of a pair of fiery white eyes in a sea of shimmering gold.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

The wolf's ears perked up as it caught the scent of blood on the wind.   It briefly envisioned the image of a fresh kill, but the smell was wrong.  It was older, then.  Probably Not-Food.  It smelled like demon anyway.  With a short whuff of air, the wolf trotted forward, over the edge of the hill, ears pricking forward as it listened.  It followed the scent along the edge of the forest and out into a hilly, grassy area with a few trees scattered here and there.

A few more short bounds had it up on top of a hill.  It's head cocked slightly to one side as it examined the ground, which was scuffled and torn.  It sniffed a bit at the smashed and battered greenery before peering down.  Near the bottom of the hill lay two bodies.  

The wolf padded down the hill, ears flattening back as it approached them.  The fallen demon, source of the blood-smell, was pale and not moving.  A brief nudge with it's nose and a push of a paw produced no results.  The wolf's gaze shifted to the other one, the human.  The wolf shifted uneasily as the human made a low, rasping moan in the back of his throat.  The wolf didn't like it.  This human had a bad-meat smell, a sick smell.

The wolf backed off a few steps before bounding up the hill a short ways off, not wanting to be so close to the smell of blood and infection, the looming specter of death.  Ah, but this was something the Alpha was looking for.  The pack would relay the message, and Alpha would deal with it.

The wolf threw back it's head and howled.  Distantly, it heard the voices of its brethren pick up the call.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Inuyasha let out a small, dispirited yawn.  Weeks, now, of constant searching and border patrols had turned up nothing out of the ordinary.  // Well, not what I wanted to find, anyway. //  The patrols had turned up the usual things - the occasional stray demon that needed to be dealt with, a bandit or two...nothing noteworthy.

The hanyou let out a small huff and flopped back on his bed, letting out a little growl as Tetsusaiga's hilt jabbed into his thigh.  "Stupid sword..." he muttered.

Things had gone from bad to worse in some ways and even Inuyasha had began to lose hope that the monk he loved like a brother and his quirky mate were likely dead.  It had been the better part of a month since they had vanished without a trace save for the scorched, sandy mess in their room.  It bothered Inuyasha a great deal to think that there had been no assault, no warning.... one morning Miroku was in his life and by the same evening he was gone without a trace.  It would have even been easier to see the monk fall in battle, rather than not knowing what potentially horrible fate had befallen his dear friend.  No chance to say goodbye, not even a trace of him left to create some sort of grave or memorial to.

For a couple of days after Miroku and Sairex's disappearance, their daughter Aliana hadn't given it much thought at all, considering it something of a vacation.  She could do whatever she wanted and play all day long with her beloved Uncle Toga as much as she wanted!  Her enthusiasm for the constant play, which had been allowed in a futile effort to distract her from the truth, however, had waned and then altogether evaporated when her parents remained gone.

Eventually Toga had to confirm her teary-eyed fears that they may be gone, and she had been inconsolable for days after that.  She was still painfully subdued and quiet and sad, spending most of her time curled up in Toga's lap while he sat at his desk doing his work or trailing after him when he went about the castle.  He tried, usually without much success, to coax, bribe, tease, or goad her into play or a smile, the little raven girl's depression weighing heavily on him.  The inu patriarch would have given half his lands to see her bounce into the room, wrapped in a sheet and demanding that she was going to be the best monk EVER as she slapped crayon-drawn talismans all over him.

Inuyasha jolted to his feet so fast that he nearly pitched over flat on his face when his door was slammed open and Kouga bounded through.  "What the f--""Inuyasha!  Quick, ya gotta come with me!"  Kouga interrupted him, no hint of play or their usual insulting banter in his urgent tone.  Before Inuyasha could even respond too much, the wolf was across the room and had bounded out the window.

The hanyou wasted no time bouncing out after him, flattening his ears as Kouga threw back his head and let out a loud, piercing howl.   Kouga was dead silent for a minute, listening, and soon an answering howl came in the distance.  That was all the wolf king needed, bounding out through the gate in the direction the distant call had come from.  Inuyasha scrambled to follow after him, and was able to keep up only because it seemed Kouga wasn't running full out.  As they tore into the forest, the hanyou noted dark lupine shadows flitting through the trees, and a few of the other wolves came to join them.

"Kouga, whats going on?" he managed to grate out, most of his breath focused on the task of running.

"My wolves found something.  Sounds like its probably Miroku an' his bird, but they're in a bad way.  We have to hurry.  If they are alive still, it doesn't sound like they'll be that way long."

The hanyou struggled to contain the sudden wary hope that sprang to life within him, nodding grimly as he bent his head a bit more and picked up speed, bounding over fallen trees and ducking under the branches, his renewed speed coaxing Kouga's wolves to run even faster.  However fast the hanyou could go, however, he was terribly worried it wouldn't be fast enough.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Miroku was adrift in darkness.  His eyes slowly came open and he looked around.  The world was shades of dark blues and purples and black, without definition.  He was floating, suspended in the midst of this nothingness.  Distantly, he saw the occasional spec of color swirl past.   He looked down, taking stock of himself.  His injuries were gone, as were his clothes...but somehow, it didn't seem to matter.  Those were merely mortal concerns, after all.  In fact, he doubted that his body was anything more than a familiar boundary for what he had come to know was his spirit.

In front of him, the eyes that had been haunting his dreams suddenly opened, slashes in the twilit dark of this place, this space between spaces.  The swirls of darkness slowly melted as a creature of golden light slowly pulled out of it.  The gold was at first just a shimmering field, a background for those white-fire eyes.  Slowly the light began to bend and reshape itself, flowing into the shape of a great bird.  Its beak was long and slightly hooked, that of a bird of prey, easily large enough to chomp the monk up in a single bite.  A huge crest of backswept feathers adorned its head, shifting and indistinct, as if crafted of some sort of molten liquid, constantly shifting.

As the bird came forward it spread its wings with a great burst of white and gold light.   Miroku distantly thought that, had he had eyes, he would surely have been blinded.  Even his spirit form had an afterimage of those brilliantly blazing, long and elegant feathers stretching wide, impossibly wide.  The bird was gone, however - it its place stood a creature that looked mostly human.  

It was a female, clothed in a shimmering white dress that seemed made of light itself.  Her hair spilled down her back, wisping about in an unfelt breeze, the same shade of molten gold as the glowing golden wings on her back.  Her eyes had no pupils, just pools of burning white in her too-perfect face..  A gold belt and jewelry adorned her dress, and at her throat was a glistening golden ankh on a short chain.  

Her voice was ancient and powerful, echoing deep in the middle of Miroku's mind.  She did not speak words out loud, and Miroku had the distinct impression she had taken this form rather than stand before him in her full grandeur as it would have been more than his human spirit might have been able to bear.  

SERVANT OF YOUR HUMAN GOD, YOU HAVE VIOLATED THE BOUNDS OF YOUR KIND.

"I never intended to violate anything, Lady."  Miroku shifted a bit uneasily.  Well, it was true, he had never really been the most....ah... model monk, but everyone had their failings, right?  I mean, sure, there was some abuse of his power....but even when he had, er, extracted payment from a rich lord or talked his way into the mansion of some rich mayor, he HAD really performed services....exorcisms, protections, and....

I DO NOT REFER TO THE PRECEPTS OF YOUR GOD OR YOUR TEMPLE, HUMAN MAN.  YOU HAVE VIOLATED THE LAWS OF TIME ITSELF BY PASSING THROUGH THIS PLACE.

Miroku cringed slightly, wondering if this powerful creature was simply going to eradicate him entirely, snuff him out with a mere thought.  Surely she had the power.  Apologies for whatever he had done to anger her sprang to his mind....but her tone, though powerful and deep, was not angry or threatening, just...heavy.  He changed to a new tactic instead.  "Where are we?"

WE ARE BEYOND TIME, BEYOND SPACE, BEYOND EXISTENCE ITSELF, IN THAT WHICH LIES BETWEEN, WHICH SURROUNDS AND FLOWS THROUGH ALL.

Miroku considered that for a moment, not really sure to react.  He started then, looking at her.  "Am I dead?  Is this the afterlife?"NO, HUMAN.  YOUR BODY LIES NEAR DEATH, BUT YOU ARE STILL ALIVE.  ANSWER ME THUS.  HOW DID YOU COME TO ENTER THIS PLACE?

Miroku frowned.  "I don't know how I got here, I was..."

THE FIRST TIME.

"Oh.  Sairex and I were attempting to get back home when we got stuck in the past, and he came up with the idea of using the temple in the country we were in as a focus to try to  return us home ....Sairex! Is he alive?  Please, Lady, I must know!"

She was silent for a long moment, her eyes fixated on the monk who was suddenly awash in desperate, pleading sorrow.  Her answer came with a rush of compassion, although her tone remained neutral.

HIS LIFE WILL BE GONE WITHIN MOMENTS, HUMAN MAN.  EVEN THE BODY OF A DEMON CAN NOT WITHSTAND SUCH PUNISHMENT.

Miroku let out a pained cry, hunching over and hugging himself tightly.  "No!  Dear Buddha, no, please....I can't lose him...not after all we've been through!  I need him!"

Slowly the woman's head cocked to the side as she considered the monk, a note of curiosity coloring her tone.  BUT HUMAN MAN, WHY DO YOU GRIEVE?  YOU NEVER REALLY HAD HIM TO BEGIN WITH.  ALL MORTAL LIFE IS THUS.  YOU ARE BORN AND BURN BRIGHTLY FOR AN INSTANT OF TIME BEFORE FADING AWAY.  HIS KIND AND YOURS ARE DIFFERENT.  IN A FEW SHORT YEARS, YOUR MORTAL LIFE WOULD REACH ITS NATURAL END AND HE WOULD BE BEREFT OF YOU.  IT IS WHY YOUR KINDS RARELY JOIN.  YOU ARE FATED TO SEPERATION FROM THE START.

Miroku winced at the thought, wondering if his tears were real or just in his imagination.  "Be that as it may, I value all the brief moments I am allowed in my life and in the world...even if its selfish of me.  I know Sairex and I would have been parted with my death, but he... he accepted ti as much as he was able to and loved me regardless.  And you're right, my time is nothing compared to how long he's already lived, how long he could hope to live.  Am I to die as well?"

YOUR BODY IS NOT BEYOND RECOVERY.  EVEN NOW, YOUR FRIENDS WILL SOON COME UPON YOU.

Miroku hit upon an idea and gave her a desperate look.  "Save him.  Please.  Don't let him die.  I can feel your power..surely, you can."

YOU CAN NOT BEGIN TO COMPREHEND MY POWER, HUMAN MAN.  I DO NOT INTERFERE.  ALL THINGS RISE FROM AND FALL BACK INTO THE FLOW OF TIME.  NOTHING MAY BE ETERNAL.  IT IS TIME FOR THE RAVEN TO RETURN.  EVERYTHING IS EQUAL.  THE PRICE MUST BE PAID BY ALL.

"No...I..."  The thought of losing Sairex was far too painful to bear.  To be so calmly, if sympathetically, told that his lover was already as good as dead broke the monk's heart.  "If a price must be paid, then take me in his place and let him live.  I'll give whatever it takes.  How can I live knowing the one I love so much is doomed to perish?"

HE LIVED KNOWING YOU WERE DOOMED TO PERISH.

"Its not the same.  Maybe he's strong enough to come to terms with losing me because I'm human, even though he tried to fight it and pull me out of the timestream so I wouldn't die.  Defy the laws of the universe itself.  I'm not that strong.  I can't just go about my life and accept his death so easily.  I'm not that strong."

She was silent for a long time, contemplating.  It could have been a moment or an eternity, it was impossible to tell in this place..  It could have been either or both.

I WILL PREVENT HIS DEATH AND RETURN HIS LIFE TO THE TIMESTREAM, HUMAN MAN, BUT THERE WILL BE A PRICE."Anything.  I don't care what it is...Just save him, please."

I WILL RETURN HIS LIFE AND ALLOW YOU TO RETURN TO YOUR OWN.  YOUR LIFE WILL BE BOUND TO HIS.  FOR AS LONG AS HE LIVES, WHETHER YOU ARE TOGETHER OR SEPERATE, SO SHALL YOU BOTH.  ON THE DAY THAT HE DIES, SO TOO SHALL YOU.  BUT TO DO THIS, TO DO THE VERY THING THE RAVEN WISHED TO ACCOMPLISH AND REMOVE YOU FROM THE FLOW OF TIME ITSELF...YOUR SOUL WILL NEVER REST, NEVER BE BORN AGAIN.  YOU WILL  BECOME ETERNAL AND BELONG TO ME.

Miroku's eyes widened and he leaped forward, eyes shining with hope.  "Oh please....I'll do it.  I'd do anything."

DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS YOU OFFER, HUMAN MAN?  DO YOU KNOW THE WEIGHT OF ETERNITY?  YOUR ROLES WILL BE REVERSED, NOW.  YOUR RAVEN WILL DIE LONG BEFORE YOU WOULD, AND YOU TOO WILL SHED YOUR MORTAL BODY.  EVENTUALLY YOUR RAVEN WILL BE REBORN.  YOUR SOULS COULD MEET AGAIN, OR REST IN PEACE.  IF YOU ACCEPT MY OFFER OF SERVITUDE, THERE WILL BE NO END, THERE WILL BE NO FURTHER MEETINGS OF YOUR SOULMATE.  YOU WILL NEVER GO TO THE ARMS OF THE GOD YOU DEVOTED YOUR LIFE TO SERVING.  IS ONE LIFETIME WORTH THE PRICE OF AN ETERNITY?

Miroku stood and nodded slightly.  "Yes, my lady.  Just because I do not get to meet my god in the end doesn't mean I regret any service I've given, and it doesn't lessen my faith.  That's not what faith is about.  I don't do it for rewards, and I don't need to see my god to believe in him.  If you need proof and logic of the existence of god, you are making what is holy into what is logical, turning spirituality into sensuality and defeating the purpose entirely.  And anyway... If I can live out my life with Sairex, even at the price of serving you in eternity...I will do it.  I'm sure that whatever your job actually is...maintaining powerful forces of the world, or watching over time itself or whatever...that it's very important.  I.... can accept giving myself to the cause of caring for the world if it means I get to be with Sairex.  And when we do die, I can watch over him from here or wherever else if he's born again.  I won't be able to be with him then, but I'll have all my memories of the time we shared.  They are worth more than anything to me."

YOU ARE A RARE HUMAN INDEED.  VERY WELL.  THE BARGAIN IS STRUCK.

Miroku nodded his head in gratitude as she walked forward.  Slowly, she extended one hand and rested it at the hollow of his throat.  A pulse of power jolted through Miroku at that touch, shaking him to the foundation of his being.  The power imbued within that slightest brush was incomprehensible, overwhelming.  The power faded and Miroku felt something cool against his throat - a quick examination showed it to be a slender gold chain bearing a white and gold ankh dangling at the end, just like the one this woman wore.  "Thank you, my lady," he whispered, bowing his head.

Before another thought could cross the monk's mind, however, he was whirling back through the twilit void, hurtling towards true, mortal consciousness.
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