InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Prisoner ❯ I Won't Let Him Win ( Chapter 18 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

"Do you actually think Naraku is going to be there?"

The three others looked to the girl in ill ease. The mention of the name just brought the atmosphere down from happy and relaxing to cold and unsettling. Especially since it was Kagome, who before would practically cry in his title, was now asking.

"He could" Miroku finally answered "It would be best too, if he was. To put him out of this world once and for all...it'd be best to be done quickly"

After her bread was done and everyone had settled from the laughing fit over the shaped molds, it had hit Kagome, really hit her that they were close to coming to Naraku. It had been more than a month now since she had to look into that face, had to imagine his hands on her, feel his presence...

She didn't have to tell them, but to the core of her bones she was terrified of him.

"Stop worrying, Kagome" Inuyasha said casually next to her "We'll take him out and then you can get on with your life. He won't have a chance to glance at you let alone talk to you....I'll cut him down before he even knows you're there"

Kagome smiled weakly in thanks. Inuyasha seemed confident about the thing, but then again when wasn't he?

Maybe it was because she knew Naraku the most. Although he had barely let her do things he had still talked to her. At times she would listen at other times she'd space out. When she did though it was horrific listening to what he wanted to accomplish, what his goals were. He was a power mad creature. Too dangerous and crazy to be around, in her mind.

"Something troubles me" Miroku started "For such a evil demon you would think he would have left some evil aura along the path...I don't sense any..."

"Demon?" Inuyasha and Sango shouted causing the monk to fall back

"Naraku's not a demon" Sango said hardly "He was human. Why in the hell would they let a demon into a kingdom?"

"Did he look human?"

"Yes" she confirmed

"Did he feel human?"

The young girl seemed to have lost her nerve as her shoulders slumped

Miroku sighed shaking his head "The most dangerous of demons are the ones who parade as human. They have ways of concealing their demon features and minds. The look human act human, but simply are not" Miroku spoke more seriously "I know this because the void in my hand is one only a demon can give.....Naraku is an imposture of a---Kagome?"

The young girl had gotten to her feet so suddenly it caught everyone's attention. Her head was bowed, so that her face could not be seen, covered by her own bangs. Then slowly she made her way to a tree a ways off and slumped against it.

Her mind felt blank, her soul shattered. The only thing she could comprehend was a simple phrase "I was raped by a demon"

===

At the same time Sango and Inuyasha stood.

"I'll talk with her" Sango said lightly "She needs to--"

"You don't know" he said simply. Closing the discussion with the phrase he was relieved to hear the shift of her sitting back to her spot.

He was the only one who knew what had actually transpired between Kagome and Naraku in the period of her absence. It was hard for Kagome to come to grips with the thing as it was, but now....Naraku was a demon.

Without a word he took a seat to her side. She didn't make a move, her body remained frozen her eyes unfocused and glazed in front of her. It reminded him horribly of when he had first taken her in. How she had jut sat there, waiting for something, a command, a comfort.

Lifeless.

In front of the two Inuyasha barely made out the other companions getting to their places to rest for the night. The fire was put out and there was an unsettling silence that blanketed the two.

"Kagome--"

"I was raped by a demon"

Her voice was soft, almost inaudible and was spoken in monotone. Not that it shouldn't be hitting her but she didn't have to act this way. It was scaring him, he realized. He had come so used to her voice, used to her energy and smiles that it was now scaring him to have her be this way once more

For the life of him he just wanted to embrace her hold her until all her tears came tumbling out, drain her of all her pains and sorrows. But something told him they needed to talk--she needed to talk.

"So what are you going to do about it?"

Maybe not that best thing to say...

Her head shot to him instantly "What do you mean....?"

"I said what are you going to do?" he repeated a little harder "Are you going to sit here and stare off?"

"I don't see why not...." she sadly replied.

Much to his disturbance her face was still expressionless, and her voice still spoken in soft monotone. The only thing he could do was to make her see. She couldn't bring herself into this state, as much pain it was causing her, she needed to let it out. He needed to make her cry.

"So he's won" he said bitterly catching her attention a bit "Why the hell are we out here then? If you're not going to fight why the fuck am I still here?"

Her head titled a little "You're right"

"I am" he confirmed "I shouldn't be wasting my fuckin' time with a girl who doesn't know how to fight her own battles. Sit her and stare Kagome. Let him take you from miles way...that's what you want isn't it? To let him have you?"

This time her face faltered a bit "I--"

"You what?" he said hardly "You want me to cry for you? Boo who! Kagome is a weak girl who's gonna be pushed over. Happy?"

"I--"

"Is this what you really want" he whispered cruelly, leaning closer to her "You want to sit her blankly? You want to do what Naraku wants you to?" he pulled back "That's exactly what he was expecting" he stood giving her a cold look "Even while you may feel free....you're still acting his prisoner"

Not being strong enough to look directly into her eyes he spun, his heels digging into the earth as he made his way over to an even farther tree.

Kami, he had hated it--every word he had spoken. He felt like he had just betrayed her right now, telling her she was weak and pathetic. It was all lies; she was strong for keeping on going like this, strong for not breaking down and giving her life away.

He only hoped that she knew it.

===

".....weak girl...wasting time....why the fuck am I here....he's won..."

Everyone of his phrases. She could remember each as they were said clearly, pierced into her mind, etched into the stone of her heart. Inuyasha was speaking the truth, wasn't he?

Since the day she had run from his feeble defenses, she had still been his prisoner. From the time she had sought out Inuyasha's comfort she had still been his. The moment she had accepted the help from Sango and Miroku she was still a captive.

Her freedom was a shame, she kept sinking herself into a sadness, this lifeless-ness that Inuyasha had explained.

It made her feel she was back at the castle, lying naked on the carpet. Shivering from cold and from fear. The dread that he was coming for her at the end of the day. That his cold hands would be once again be probing her. That he'd once again mange to take away what was left of her soul.

But he was a demon now....was there a difference?

He had still committed horrible acts to her, still tortured and violated her. Was there really a more horrid to the scenario? Whether he was demon or whether he be human who committed it, the facts were that it was the acts that were punishable, not his title.

And what was worse was that he was winning! For everything that Inuyasha had done for her, for all that he'd said to help her live once more she was crushing it.

For the first time since the news her face fell into a sadness, her features were no longer bleak or emotionless. Shaking her head she decided she didn't want him to win anymore. Inuyasha had given up his life and living to help her. He put aside his own needs for her's and she was putting that all to shame.

She wouldn't let Naraku win and she would not fail Inuyasha.

On sleep warped legs she stood, leaning against the trees bark to regain feeling. In front of her the scene was quite and serene, only noticing for the first time that Miroku and Sango had fallen asleep and the fire had been long since extinguished. A little father from them Inuyasha slept against a tree.

She had only realized how long now she must have been spaced , lost to the nothingness in which Naraku had taught her to become.

Pushing herself off the tree, she made way to where he had gone. More than anything she wanted to be near him right now. Wanted to feel him beside her and know that he was there. In her heart she knew, absolutely knew, she could free herself from Naraku. But she also knew she needed help.

Her feet stopped right in front of him, and without much surprise on either of their part Inuyasha raised his head to her's as there eyes locked.

Her face instantly shattered from it's mask of imperturbable sorrow, tears welling her eyes as her vision blurred leaving her to drop to her knees in front of him. She felt his arms bringing her to him, felt the familiar presence as she was completely engulfed into his body.

Her mouth parted in no attempt to remain quiet as sobs escaped her lips to go alongside the tears that continuously soaked her cheeks. Her face pressed into his chest willing for her to just be closer to him, be in his scent to soothe her, give her the strength she needed.

He would understand her; he would stand with her through this and believe in her. He would be there and with that knowledge there was no reason to fear Naraku. No reason to bury herself in passionless facades. He was here now.

Her hands pushed against his chest as she desperately sought to find his eyes. His golden orbs locked onto hers his expression was completely new, it had so much emotion, so much understanding in it.....

"Inuyasha" she choked out trying to keep his face in sight from the onslaught of tears "I won't let Naraku win"