InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Purity 2: Defiance ❯ Dispelling the Illusions ( Chapter 40 )

~~Chapter 40~~

~Dispelling the Illusions~

 

“What do you mean, you didn't have a choice?” Sierra countered angrily, narrowing her teary glare on Toga. Maybe it was the delayed fear that brought the emotion out, the unbearable realization of just how close he was to dying. Maybe it was her own fury that she would be so stupid not to have realized sooner, just what those strange feelings, those odd allusions had meant. Maybe it was the knowledge that she might have known all of this, all along, and that she just really didn't want to face that.

 

Toga sighed. “I mean exactly what I said, Sierra. I didn't choose anything.”

 

She shook her head slowly as her anger vanished as quickly as it had come. “I don't understand, Toga . . . . What does that mean?”

 

“Why did you come?” he asked instead. Eyebrows drawing together as he stared at her, he silently dared her to lie, refused to look away.

 

“Your father asked me to.”

 

“I see.”

 

His gaze slipped away from hers, and he tried to move over. Sierra caught his chin and gently made him look at her again. “Toga . . . why? Why didn't you tell me that Kari . . . that you didn't . . . .”

 

He rasped out a weak laugh that held absolutely no humor at all. “It doesn't matter,” he told her. “The end result was still the same. I . . . I allowed myself to betray you.”

 

“Is that what you think? Do you really believe that?”

 

When he refused to answer, Sierra sighed and stood up, wandering around the room, migrating toward the window. “Your father said . . . he said that if you were separated from the one you chose, the consequences would be eternal . . . . What did he mean?”

 

Toga sighed. She heard the bed creak as he struggled to sit up. When he gasped softly, she turned. He'd managed to do it alone though his face had lost what little real color he had. His eyes were bright, and when she stepped toward him again, he looked away. “I didn't want to tell you,” he admitted. “It would have seemed . . . foolish, I guess. Selfish, maybe . . . .”

 

“Selfish?” she echoed with a shake of her head. “I don't understand.”

 

Toga took his time, gathering his thoughts in the quiet room. Sierra sat down on the foot of the bed and waited, fighting down the urge to demand that he spit it out. If it was this hard for him to admit whatever it was he had kept from her, the least she could do would be to wait and listen.

 

“When a youkai loses their mate, they die. I hadn't realized that we had already bonded enough for that to be the case. Even then, I didn't want you to stay with me because of that.”

 

It took a few minutes for her to comprehend the enormity of his confession. “Because I said I couldn't be with you?”

 

Toga winced. “Father didn't tell me . . . Sierra, do you want to be with me?”

 

His question both thrilled her and frightened her. The idea of a future of any kind without him was a horrible, hurtful thought. The idea of his condition, of the way he'd seemed so very close to death. “Toga . . . .”

 

“I can save you,” he interrupted softly, his gaze piercing through hers just before he smiled ironically. “Maybe we can save each other.”

 

Sierra shrugged helplessly, unsure what to say, unsure what he meant. “Toga, I can't . . . don't you ever want children? Because I can't . . . .” She trailed off, unable to finish her statement as a different kind of pain welled up inside. Deep within the confines of her heart, her soul, the barely acknowledged truth of what she was admitting cut her deep---one of the concerns that she hadn't wanted to voice before.

 

He shook his head and sighed. She couldn't meet his gaze. Staring at the blank white wall, she wished that she could say the words he needed to hear. He had to know. He deserved to know. “Sierra, you're still not listening,” he said, his voice gentle, almost . . . amused?

 

`He absolutely sounds like he thinks something's funny!' Sierra fumed as she scowled at the wall. `Funny, my foot!'

 

“I can save you, Sierra. My blood will override yours. You'll live as long as me, and you'll have my immunities. It's not possible for youkai to have human diseases. Do you understand? Your gene . . . it won't matter, and it wouldn't affect our pups, either.”

 

She couldn't breathe. Struggling to understand what he was saying, she sat in silent shock as she stared at him. “Why . . . ? Why didn't you tell me this before?”

 

He sighed. “I didn't know it before,” he admitted. “Father didn't tell me this until after . . . .”

 

Sierra wasn't sure if she should laugh or cry, but Toga was paling considerably. He still wasn't out of danger. He was weakened far too much to think that he was. Scooting forward, she pulled the blanket up, trying not to wince at the injuries that hadn't healed. “How did you do this?” she asked as she frowned at the angry tears in the flesh of his shoulder.

 

“Cat youkai,” he mumbled as he strained to keep his eyes open. “Nasty vermin.”

 

Sierra snorted at the hint of arrogance in his tone. “Did you win?”

 

He snorted. “Feh. What do you think?”

 

She rolled her eyes and shook her head. “Go to sleep, Toga. You need to get better, okay?”

 

It took a moment for his gaze to focus on her. “You'll be here when I wake up?”

 

“Yeah, I'll be here.”

 

He nodded slowly but didn't close his eyes. “And . . . you forgive me . . . ?”

 

Sierra swallowed the lump that rose in her throat and tried to smile. “There's nothing to forgive, Toga. There never was.”

 

He didn't look like he believed her but he finally did close his eyes.

 

A reassuring feeling of warmth crept over her, and Sierra couldn't help but smile as she watched Toga's expression relax. She didn't even question whether or not Toga could feel it, too. She knew he did. The whole idea that his youkai blood had chosen her was intriguing but she could wait to ask him about that.

 

`Maybe we can save each other.'

 

`Yeah,' Sierra thought as she stretched out beside him, careful not to touch his injuries as she cradled his hand in hers. `I think . . . I think I'd like that . . . .'

 

 

-=-0-=-0-=-0-=-0-=-0-=-

 

 

A horrendous crash awoke Sierra from a dreamless sleep. With a strangled yelp, she sat bolt upright on the bed and pressed her hand against her chest as Toga groaned softly. “What the---?”

 

“If I didn't know better, I'd swear that was Uncle Yasha,” Toga remarked dryly.

 

Sierra stood up and hurried over to the window. With a startled gasp as her eyes widened in shocked disbelief, she gaped at the carnage that used to be Toga's back yard. “Oh, my . . . God . . . .”

 

“Uncle Yasha?” Toga asked in an almost bored tone.

 

She shook her head. “No . . . Ryomaru and . . . your father.”

 

“Oh?” She heard the bed squeak and groan as Toga struggled to sit up. “This I must see . . . .”

 

Sierra wasn't at all sure that it was a good idea, but she tore herself away from the window to help Toga since he was determined to get out of bed. Their nap hadn't lasted long---a half-hour at best---but he seemed stronger now than he had been.

 

Toga turned the handle and pulled the window open, but remained silent as he stared at the scene laid out before them. Sesshoumaru was standing in the middle of the yard looking almost bored as Ryomaru braced his left arm with his right hand and rotated his shoulder. “You're losing your touch, old man,” Ryomaru goaded.

 

“Please,” Sesshoumaru scoffed casually as he lifted his right hand to pop his knuckles. “You've got nothing on your father, puppy.”

 

“Feh! I've been taking it easy on you---respectin' the elders.”

 

Sesshoumaru shook his head. “By all means, if you think you can.”

 

The sod was torn and rumpled like a bed sheet, and what looked like it had once been a healthy enough cherry tree now stood like a skeleton with the broken bones of its branches littering the ground.

 

“You're going to fix all that,” Toga hollered dryly as Sierra slowly swung her head to stare dubiously at the weakened youkai.

 

Ryomaru shot him a cursory glance and snorted. “Feh! Get your weak ass back in bed, Toga. This don't concern you.”

 

“Actually . . .” Sesshoumaru drawled slowly.

 

Toga sighed. “Fine, whatever, just don't hit the house, all right?”

 

Sierra shook her head, unable to wrap her head around the fact that Toga didn't seem concerned about this in the least. “Is this . . . normal?”

 

Toga made a face. “Normal? No . . . `normal' is Uncle Yasha and Father having at it. Ryomaru is usually gone on a hunt of one kind or another.”

 

“A hunt?”

 

Toga shrugged. “He hunts down renegade youkai for Father. He was gone when Father found out about the cat youkai, so I volunteered to go.”

 

Sierra's eyes narrowed as she shifted her incredulous stare to him. “You're telling me you wanted to go?”

 

Toga winced at the underlying menace in her tone. “Well . . . I wasn't expecting to get hurt, no . . .” he assured her, obviously hoping to placate her before the situation got any worse.

 

“So you're saying you willingly went after these cat-thing-ies and got the crap beat out of you? Because you wanted to go?”

 

“Uh . . . .”

 

“Think fast, Toga,” she remarked as she crossed her arms over her chest, unaware that the relatives outside were now intently listening to the exchange with varying degrees of interested amusement.

 

“Not wanted, exactly . . .” he hedged.

 

“What, exactly, were you trying to do?” she countered.

 

Toga opened his mouth and closed it a few times with stuttered beginnings of coherent words that were otherwise rendered ineffectual before he managed to piece together a pitiful defense. “They're dead!”

 

Sierra made a face. “And that's supposed to make me feel better?”

 

His expression shifted into a pout that she'd never seen before. “It's supposed to make you a little less angry, yes.”

 

She rolled her eyes. “Try again, Toga.”

 

“Damn,” Ryomaru muttered loud enough for both Sierra and Toga to hear. “Reminds me of Mother and the old man.”

 

Sesshoumaru snorted. “Reminds me of Kagura.”

 

 

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A/N:

Congratulations Sari15 aka Hentai Beta #1 on the birth of your little daughter!

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Reviewers

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SkaQueen (FFnet):

Is Toga still 'dieing'? I mean, him and Sierra aren't back together ... yet ... (hint, hint) But, Sierra is with him; at his side. So everything is better now ... right? Anywho, great chapter--yet again! Or would they need to become mates in order to save Toga?

 

Toga's on shaky ground. So long as he knows that they are `together' or will be, he should be fine. It's as much psychological as it is anything. If he felt like he had nothing to live for, he wouldn't try that hard to do it.

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Shadow_Within (MMorg):

 

InuYasha: … … … Ain't this the pup's story? So why the hell do I have to do this?

Toga: … Because you're funnier.

InuYasha: … … … Keh! Happy fucking birthday … … …

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agent-doo (FFnet):

Question: Toga mentioned that his blood chose Sierra. How is that done? Is there a ceremony between the two that has to take place? Or was the blood mating done through Toga's courtship of Sierra? I was also surprised that that only one who Sierra met on her way up to see Toga was Ryomaru and why no one was in the room with Toga when Sierra walked in. By the way, I liked the uncomfortable reunion between the two. I am curious as to how Toga is going to end up explaining everything to Sierra.

 

He'll explain that more in-depth later … Toga was resting… the others will be `around' …

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MMorg

angelica incarnate ------ DawnIllusion ------ Iggy Lovechild ------ notzathros ------ Zatanna ------ DarklessVasion

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FFnet

WiccanMethuselah ------ Eleature (Yeah… so long as I don't get in trouble for plagiarism… I did credit the authors!! LoL!) ------ myeerah ------ Chamelia Tanochi ------ Ryguy5387 ------ Flames101 ------ SilverStarWing ------ Drake Clawfang ------ xSilverShadowsx ------ Toya's Gurl (Nose tweaking… Because it is something my husband and I do to each other as a sort of weird play thing. It just stuck. Lol) ------ Luke//Shaehl ------ kestral-tudorica

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AFFnet ------ AScom ------ ATnet

turquise ------ Sess_2005 ------ snowfall ------ Shiga ------ Midnight_Sparrow (LoL… Thanks!) ------ obsesed_wit_fluffy (There isn't a set time … whenever I get the chapter done, really) ------ rachainu (I knew that AS I got would come in useful one day … and Kichiro is going to be a plastic surgeon) ------ akdreamer ------ inugrl15 ------ Mel

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Final Thought from Sierra:

… Idiot …

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Blanket disclaimer for this fanfic (will apply to this and all other chapters in Defiance): I do not claim any rights to InuYasha or the characters associated with the anime/manga. Those rights belong to Rumiko Takahashi, et al. I do offer my thanks to her for creating such vivid characters for me to terrorize.

 

~Sue~