InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Rain Upon the Sun ❯ My Chance Is Gone ( Chapter 12 )

Rain Upon the Sun

By: Jazmin Turner

Chapter Twelve:

Kikyou - My Chance Is Gone

In life

You only have once chance.

Once chance to be happy.

One chance to be loved.

Once chance to be free.

And I missed it.

My chance is gone.

I know that I will never be happy

I know that I will never be loved

I know that I will never be free.

As long as I wander this Earth,

I will

Lust for His death

Lust for Him to join me in hell.

And that's not right.

I knew that

Once I felt my own blood

Gush over my fingers,

Stream down my chest

And stain my clothes crimson

That my chance was gone.

I knew once I felt that indescribable pain well up in my chest, from betrayal

From those claws

That almost tore me in half

That is was over.

I came back from the grave,

Still burning with hatred

Only to find that the one I love,

Had adopted another.

My exact replica.

My exact copy.

Though she'll never be as good as me,

He seems to care for her.

And that upsets me.

I know that I am beating Kagome for the time being,

Because whenever I want,

He comes to me.

We embrace.

We kiss.

And I feel as if I have another chance to be happy.

But that chance is gone.

It has diminished.

It faded away with my image after my death.

It's gone.

And I can't get it back.

It's just out of my reach.

Mocking me as I struggle to grab hold of it.

The only way I can make it there,

Is for me to die once more.

Leave this world.

Leave Inuyasha.

Leave my love.

So that I'll have a chance at happiness.

My chance with Inuyasha is gone.

I know that now.

That boundary that separates us,

Is life and death.
He breathes

He is alive

He's warm.

But I'm cold, I'm dead, and not a trace of life runs through my veins.

That is why I cannot be with him.

That's why I cannot be happy

That's why I cannot be loved

That is why I cannot be free.

Now I must give up the battle for him,

Against my reincarnation.

For now she has the chance to be everything that I could not,

With him.

So Kagome,

I'm finally giving up.

I'm finally letting you win the race.

You won.

He's all yours

And I will not interfere.

Because, as soon as I see you embrace him,

That part of your soul that lives on in me,

Will be yours once more.

You will be whole.

And I will be dead again.

So that I can feel happy,

In the afterlife.

I give him up to you,

I give up everything that was mines to you,

Because I am dead.

And my chance it be happy…it's gone.

And I won't get it back.

I used to be a strict Kikyou hater (I'm not saying that I don't hate her at all) but I tried to weave in some angst so she'd get cut some slack. Imagine her position like I have done, it's has to be pretty rough, right? I'm not saying I'd do things exactly as she does, but take a step back and put yourself into her sandals. Think about it.

Some food for thought.

That all said and done…REVIEW! Aloha!