InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Random Thoughts ❯ I Still Love You ( Chapter 15 )

 

 

I Still Love You

 

 

 

I don't know why I'm here. I would rather be anywhere else in the world but here. Why am I still here then? I keep asking myself that as I watch all those happy people file into the pews. They are all smiling, all so freaking happy it makes me sick. I just want to run, get out beyond those double doors and drive as fast as I can in any direction. I just want to…

 

Damn, it's too late. I bet they are all wondering why I'm still here. All those happy people in those pews, they know what happened. Some people think down on me for showing up, or worse for agreeing to take this position. I can see that a lot look up at me in sympathy; they wished things could be different. So, why am I still here? Why ain't I running?

 

The piano starts playing, the double doors, and my gate way to freedom open up. The flower girl walks down the aisle, slow and painful. The bridesmaids follow, all but one happy and smiling. The others are either imbeciles, or just want to forget. My guess is the latter. I ask myself again why I'm still here. I move a foot, only to look up and see my best friend's broken smile holding me in place.

 

Why am I still here? My beautiful best friend with the broken smile walking up the aisle in white, that's the reason. I look at her, broken and on the verge of tears, and I just want to comfort her. I want to tell her it will all be okay. She once said that I was the only one who could comfort her like that.

 

“My brother died yesterday,” she had said. I looked up at her in disbelief. Tears were pooling out of her eyes. I grasped her hand and looked up to the sky. The stars that night were beautiful.

 

“I suppose we all die at one point or another. It's really nothing to get upset about,” I had told her. “I lost both my parents when I was really young, and I thought my whole life had ended.”

 

“It hurts so badly though,” she hid her head in my shoulder. I let go of her hand and gently draped my arm around her shoulders. Every tear that dropped from her eyes broke my heart inside.

 

“I know it does,” I whispered in her ear.

 

“How did you survive?”

 

“You,” I kissed her ear. “Two weeks after they died, I found you and my whole life seemed to be better.”

 

She had leaned up and kissed me softly on the lips. “You are the only one who can comfort me,” she whispered.

 

I was empty through the whole ceremony. Broken and dying inside, I was completely empty. Her fiancé had asked me to be the best man, and I accepted. Only for her though, for no one else. When it was all done, they kissed. I felt like my whole heart had been torn out and thrown in the deep fryer. They walked down the aisle and out the doors as the preacher announced their name. Their name, they share it now don't they.

 

“I'm so sorry,” I escorted the unhappy maid of honor down the aisle as she whispered this in my ear. I look at her, she's hurt by this too, but she gets her happy ending. Behind the doors, a man in black and red takes the girl from me. He whispers something in her ear and gives her a peck on the cheek. I know him, he's the closest thing to a brother I've ever had.

 

“Hey, we're going to get out of here,” he pats my back. The girl in his arms lays her head on his chest, a tear falling from her eyes. I look back to him and smile.

 

“Now, now I've never known you as the kind of man to give up cake,” I teased. He chuckled a little and rubbed his head.

 

“I know, but I'm only here for her,” he squeezes the girl in his arms a little. “Besides, I heard the cake was chocolate, and if I go home and smell like chocolate the kid will flip out.”

 

“Take care then,” I wave him off. He was right, their son would've flipped out. That runt eats way too much chocolate. I walked around the place till I found a nice sized room to hide in till everyone had passed. There as an old piano in the middle of the room. Not being able to resist temptation, I walked over and sat on it.

 

She was my reason for being here. I touched each key lightly before finding a note I liked. She was my everything. I slowly began to pick out a tune. She was the only woman I ever loved. I didn't realize that it was one of her favorites. She loved me back, but I guess not enough. I began to play my heart out, not seeing the other person enter the room.

 

I played till the song was through, and leaned over the keys. Years of frustration, of pain and heartache, of love and hope poured out on the keys of the old piano. Lifting my head from the piano, I played a few notes I had liked. I opened my mouth, and let my voice echo in the room. Four words repeated themselves over and over, meshing beautifully with the notes.

 

“I still love her,” I finally whispered the words again. Sniffling came from the shadows behind me. I turned around only to see a glimpse of a long white gown being dragged out of the room. “I still love you.”

 

Somehow, they had conned me into staying and throwing the rice in the new couples hair. Whoever did that, I may just have to kill. Grabbing my rice, I made my way to the end of the line. I wanted to be the last one to see her before she walked away forever. The doors opened, and out came the most beautiful woman I had ever met. She made her way to the end, arms linked with another man, but she stopped in front of me.

 

Every eye was on us at that moment, but I couldn't feel a one. It was only me and her, for the last time. She looked up at me with red, puffy eyes and screwed up make up. She smiled a broken smile and whispered, “I'm sorry.” I sprinkled a little rice in her hair and smiled.

 

“Make a wish.”

 

She laughed, a sound I hadn't heard since we broke up. Just before she got in the limo, she turned to me. `I still love you, Miroku,' she mouthed before wiping a tear from her eye and crawling in.

 

At that moment, I felt my whole self breaking apart. The crowd disappeared back to their daily lives, and the woman I love drove off in a limo with a man she doesn't. “At least she'll be happy,” I sighed. A little beeping on my belt told me to take a pill. Sighing I took the little pill that had prolonged my life. `Damn this curse,' I thought. `If it weren't for this damn disease, I'd be the one in that limo.' I thought no more before turning to go to my car.

 

“Hi! My name is Sango!” a little brown haired girl smiled. She jumped up on the side of the hospital bed and looked at the sick little boy. He smiled at her and winked.

 

“My name's Miroku!” he grinned. “What is a pretty little girl like you in here for?”

 

“My mommy is really sick. She has cancer,” she sighed and plopped down in a chair. “What're you here for?”

 

“I'm sick too,” he bent his head down. “I have cancer too, but the doctors say I'm battling it pretty good!”

 

“That's great!” Sango smiled. She leaned up so her face was dead even with his and looked him in the eye. “Do you have any friends?” he shook his head. “Do you want one?”

 

“I'd love one!” he grinned.

 

-flash-

 

“Miroku, what's wrong?” Sango asked the man she loved. He looked up at her with his violet eyes. Grabbing her hands in his, he kissed them.

 

“I only have six months left. The doctor says my body won't react to the chemo anymore,” he choked out. Sango broke down in tears. He could barely hold himself back from doing the same. “I can't marry you.”

 

-flash-

 

I just want to break down and cry.