InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Red isn't only blood ❯ Searching for something ( Chapter 1 )

I wanted to give special thanx to all reviewers! Wow I never got 18 (!!!) reviews for only 1 chapter. Sniff….sniff I feel like crying. Well review again for this chapter ne? I'll be so happy!! Watashi reviews & reviewers ai desu!!!

Disclaimer: I don't own Inu-yasha, I can only wish. It belongs to Rumiko Takahashi. I'm only a poor author.

Chapter I: Searching for something

"When you see a happy girl,

Watch out, for the one,

Who's lost in her own world,

She's the one in need."

***

It was early morning and the sun had just rose. The glittering globe stood there, watching silently from the blue sky, waiting for something to happen…The golden rays lightened up everything, revealing all that remained of the previous storm. There were puddles everywhere which caused his kimono to get all dirty. If there was something he hated more than his brother and humans, it was being dirty.

The rain had erased all the scents and the only one present was the pure scent of the morning breeze, unaffected by anything else. For how peaceful the forest could seem to ones eye, it was in moments like this it was dangerous to wonder around. All the youkai, even the weakest, knew that when the ground was wet it was easier to hunt.

Humans were clumsy and would trip in every puddle making it easier to catch them. After a night of rain a little game did good to every demon. He, surprisingly enough, was not hunting. In fact it was quite a while he didn't…he somehow missed it. The feeling of the blood running on his claws and of digging into the prey's flesh, the scent of fear, the screams of pain, there were so many good things about it he could go on forever. The only thing he didn't like about killing was that when you 'played' with humans, they always pleaded to have safe their life. Why should he let them live he had already decided on killing them in the first place.

He had been looking for the girl all the night and for how much he tried to deny it, he, the great lord of the Western Lands, was having problems tracking a low human. Her scent had disappeared right after a river and there were no sign of footsteps. He hated when he couldn't find something, or someone.

The kid had wanted to go and find some water because she was thirsty. He had sent her with Jaken and had waited for some time. It had then begun to rain and Jaken had came back alone. His pitiful servant had told him Rin had smashed his head on the ground and that when he sat up again she was vanished. The toad's face had expressed his happiness for the girl's disappearing. He didn't know why but he felt a strange feeling knowing she was alone in the forest. He felt that something bad had happened.

Why did he have a bad feeling? He didn't even know why he kept the child around. The brat was annoying, slow, troublesome and for a reason he didn't know, when she was around he couldn't do what he wanted. He could just slash at her throat and put an end to all his problems. The idea had passed by his mind many times but he somehow couldn't do it. He, Sesshoumaru, the feared Lord of the Western Lands couldn't kill a human child.

He had even thought to leave her in the care of the village people of one of the many towns they had passed, but that had not seemed like a good idea. She was different from all the other humans. She had not feared him after he had lost control with Inu-yasha, she, instead, had been nice to him…in a way. Why should he leave her with them only to loose the little intelligence she now possessed? No, he wouldn't have that. He would keep her with him. He would find a teacher and have her instructed.

The fog had vanished. Everything was clear and it shined with a beautiful, but mischievous light. All this was getting on his nerves; this painting-like morning picture didn't suit his mood. He preferred it when the sky was gray and filled with threatening clouds; it was somehow more realistic.

Had there ever been a person who thought of the world as a happy and peaceful place who has lived how she wanted? Who thought of the world in such a way were the ones who were scared of the real world, too cruel and corrupted. Happiness and hope were for the weak and the stupid. What was the point in having hope in something? He couldn't understand it. People should achieve things with their own hands instead of wishing that maybe one day they'll magically appear.

'Just like the runt.' He thought. He and that miko bitch, had loved each other and had hoped for a peaceful life together. He had heard that the mutt wanted to become human for her, how irresponsible. Once human, all his enemies would come to kill him. At the end the deep love they felt for each other just disappeared and they died hating each other. This was all that one's feeling brought, pain and sufferance.

The way the half-breed had died had been really miserable, stuck to a tree by a human woman. Maybe if he had died with honor in battle he would've spared a prey for him, but the only thing he had felt when he had known the news was shame. He was ashamed that such a being had the same blood as his running in his veins.

Much weaker, but the same. His father's blood.

He couldn't understand why the Tetsusaiga had gone to that idiot of his half brother. He had always known that his father had felt something special for his youngest son, but never had he thought hat Lord Inutaisho would low himself to give such a weapon to Inu-yasha. Long ago he had respected his father, now, that respect was gone and had left its place to anger and hatred.

His father had had eyes only for the hanyou. When he was younger, he could do anything, even the most spectacular or difficult thing, and his father would never praise him, never.

He couldn't understand his father. He even had given his second son a name that didn't fit. Why call him dog-demon when all he had of demoniac was his strength. Might just as well call him human. All his emotions and ways of behaving were human after all.

He didn't have any control, he didn't think before speaking and acting. But worst of all he couldn't kill. Inu-yasha had also disgraced the family for the second time by falling in live with a human, not once, but twice.

A hanyou like Inu-yasha didn't deserve the Tetsusaiga, he did. Once he got his sword back, he'd make good use of it.

He could feel his blood boiling with anger. This happened every time he thought of the bastard.

He liked solitude, he could let his mind free. He didn't have to think if what he was thinking would be heard, because nobody could and if someone looked at his face, most likely he couldn't read any of the emotions he was feeling. That was one of the many things that other youkai disliked about him, they never knew what he was thinking. Personally he couldn't care the less. They wanted to hate him, then they'll hate him. They wanted to trust him, then they'll trust him. They could do as they wished. As far as they didn't disturb him.

He could do this for days without stopping. Running in the forest while thinking about his own business. But he couldn't, he was here for a reason. He had to find Rin.

***

Kagome had walked for four hours from when the sun had rose. Not getting any sleep was having its effects. She was feeling really sleepish. Although her body claimed for some relax, her mind wouldn't do as told. She had too many thoughts in her head. 'I'm such a fool…' She thought, already feeling that familiar sense of loss and loneliness.

She missed them. She missed them so much. This was his entire fault! Why had it had to be her that always suffered. She felt anger raising inside of her, for a reason she couldn't well figure out.

Why did he have to be so exaggeratedly dumb? Why did he have to hurt her so much? She had always forgiven him, she had always helped him, she had always followed him…she had always loved him… Why did he have to be so tactless?

He caused her so much pain. He could be distant a thousand miles and she would still suffer because of him. She knew that deep inside she still loved him. A little part of her heart still wished that the other night's discovery was just a nightmare. Actually, all her heart wished for that. But, being a smart girl she knew that paying attention to her feelings was useless. It had always been with Inu-yasha.

She looked around. Everything was beautiful. The puddles which now were only a reminder of passed of the rain, gave the forest a fairy-like aura. Their sparkling light shone even under the shadows of the trees. The flowers were blooming and their soft aroma danced in the wind. This morning was perfect. So peaceful, so nice. The birds were singing melodies that sounded like a lullaby for the now exhausted forest. Segoku jidai was so different from Tokyo. No skyscrapers, no cars, no technology, no confusion.

When she was in her time, many afternoons she and her friends would talk about what they would do without television, radio, telephones…etc. etc. They just couldn't imagine a world without comforts. But now, here she was. She liked it back in her own time, but if someone asked her to give up on time travelling, she wouldn't accept. This had become like a second home for her. Maybe even her actual home, when she was away she missed this era so much.

She was passing by a small river and figured that she was covered in dirt and blood. Her clothes had a very bad smell just as her hair. Right now the things she missed more were bath foam and shampoo. 'Maybe a good bath isn't such bad idea…'She thought already feeling the clean water against her skin.

Quickly she took her clothes off and she laid them on top of a rock, she would have to wash them later. She hanged her bow and arrows on a branch of a nearby tree and then with a jump she dove into the water. She started swimming back and forth. The water was cold and some exercise warmed her up.

Some time later she was exhausted. Not sleeping and then starting swimming had been a really dumb thing to do. What on earth was she thinking of. No, the question was, what was she trying not to think of. The answer was so damn easy. Who could it be if not him, Inu-yasha. Even this river reminded her of him. She remembered the first time she had found him spying on her when she was bathing. She had been so angry, she would've killed him if he didn't have the enchanted rosary.

She asked herself if he had ever spied Kikyou… What the heck was she thinking of! Why should she be interested in who he spied! She felt so stupid! Knowing that her face was now bright red from embarrassment made her feel even more stupid! She was a total idiot!!

She started laughing softly, then louder and louder. Her voice carried by the wind that created a slight echo. Her voice sounded so cheerful. Too bad she wasn't happy at all. The leaves carried with her laughter passed near her face and she stared at them. This was the second time in two days she found herself wishing she could fly.

She had never thought of that in 15 years. The thought was nice in itself, but…she couldn't figure why…something called for her here. Something or someone was keeping her here, as if waiting to find her. It looked like it was calling to her "Don't go." It said, "Don't go till I find you." Her heart hoped for the mysterious entity to be Inu-yasha, but she knew these were only the hopes of the lost girl she was. Why should he come and find her anyway. She felt so empty inside. It was like the sorrow she felt had eaten her up. She was so sad.

She could now hear soft, gentle raindrops fall onto the river's surface. She looked around, it didn't look like it was raining;

I looked at the sky, no clouds.

I looked at the river, no drops.

I looked at the puddles, perfectly still.

The same light as before shone everywhere.

I rubbed my hands against my eyes trying to focus what had caused that sound and realized I was crying again. Why, why do I have to cry so often. I'm not the same Kagome anymore. I am someone else. I'm a stranger even to myself. 'What have you done to me Inu-yasha, what have you done…'

In my head I was searching for an answer. Why is my love for him so strong to allow him to torture me this much?

I stared blankly at my hands. "Who am I?" I said. It was almost a whisper, I barely heard it myself. But I knew what that voice had said, I knew, I knew too well.

***

Rin was still sitting under the tree waiting for Sesshoumaru. He was late. Never mind. He always came to get her. He was always good with her. He was harsh, but nice, in a way. He always came to look for her.

She had been so scared before Kagome onee-san saved her. She was getting some water with toady-toad Jaken and was singing and dancing everywhere. She liked dancing and singing, it was like playing the part of the mermaid in a game…maybe the mermaid got attacked and the azure prince would save her…yey. She used to play this game many times. She dreamed of this many times too!!

Her azure prince was Sesshoumaru-sama! Although he was like a father to her and not like the one in the story, he had saved her!!! Happily she looked at the tree. "Sooo big!!! Ohhhh! It looks like a giant carrot!" She began running around the great tree joyfully.

When she was tired, she tripped on a root and stood there, face to the ground, for some moments. She got up and started running again while laughing. "I fell with my head just like greeny toady-toad Jaken does!! Hahaha!"

Running, she found a small animal near the tree. It was a lizard of some sort. "Looks like Ahun!! Just more small!! So cute!!" She started toying with the 'thing' launching it here and there as if it was some sort of bird. She was having fun! The lizard, after trying many times to escape, some time after made it successfully and ran towards it's nest fearfully. The child wasn't happy. Her toy had escaped! She scanned the area trying to find something else of nice but she couldn't find anything.

She was bored! Why was Sesshoumaru-sama taking so long? She hoped he was here soon. He could help her find new toys!!!! With this new idea in the mind, Rin started dancing in circles again! She liked dancing! "Dancing, dancing, Rin likes a lot dancing!!!" She continued singing this while she spun around.

***

She was near, he knew it. He could hear her voice. Why would she sing while in the forest alone? Maybe she liked when he wasn't around. Maybe she had decided on her own to go away. Maybe the bad feeling he had wasn't right. He didn't like it when there were too many maybes.

He didn't like insecure. He didn't know if he rather wanted the child around or not. Lots of times she had disappeared, lots of times she couldn't keep up while walking, but he always waited for her, searched for her, helped her.

This was so unlike him. He knew everything he needed and insecurity had never been a part of his personality. He knew what he wanted, got and didn't need. Not knowing something was unnerving. It made him feel vulnerable in a way, as if his enemy could use that little insecurity to trick him.

He arrived where she was, Rin looked at him and smiled, probably she had got lost he reasoned. She wasn't faking. As strange as it may sound, she was happy. He didn't know why, but he felt strange. He felt lighter, as if a burden had been laid off from his shoulders. Of course he showed none of this to the child.

She looked fine but he couldn't understand why her kimono was covered in blood. He looked around. She was under a huge tree; this wasn't what had surprised him. What had taken him by surprise was what was, around, the tree. A barrier, and a very well done and resistant one was surrounding the tree, probably protecting Rin. He didn't care if the barrier rejected him, he walked towards it.

He passed without any difficulty as if the barrier had never been there. This sure was wierd, why put a barrier if it can be passed without any harm. Rin ran towards him and hugged him. He knelt beside her and emotionlessly as ever asked, "Where have you been Rin. Haven't I told you not to wander around at night."

The child looked at him and then smiled. "Sesshoumaru-sama! Rin was sooo scared! Rin was plying with Jaken and a horrible youkai attacked Rin. Then Rin doesn't remember because she fainted and everything was all black. All Rin knows is that she had a biiig cut here," She said pointing at her stomach.

Had all of this happened. She didn't look hurt or anything else. But if she had really been so badly injured, why was she so healthy and full of energy now. "Rin, how do you expect me to believe that when you're here in front of me, healthy and happy." He said.

"Now Rin is fine! Rin said she, had, a gash here" she said pointing again. "But she doesn't anymore! Kagome Onee-san saved Rin! She healed Rin and protected her till morning! She has long black hair and friendly blue eyes, she's beautiful. She's an angel!"

Onee-san?! What were these news. And that name, Kagome, was familiar to him. Well, all that mattered now was that the kid was fine. "Rin, come." He got up and started walking towards his lands.

He would have to spot that youkai that had attacked and kill him, he'll certainly come for the child again. What he couldn't understand now was if this girl that had saved her was dangerous. He decided to believe that Rin was telling the truth. He'd believe that that Kagome girl had not hurt Rin. Rin always told the truth, why shouldn't she do now. He would find out.

Rin was near him, jumping and dancing as if anything had happened. She really had a lot of energy. Her face was dirty and her kimono was missing the sleeves. He'll have to get her washed and change clothes once home.

He looked around, the path was full of rocks just like the other roads in the forests. It was bumpy and gray. Despite that everything was like usual. Glittering with the happy spring light. The puddles were fading and the watery scent that had floated in the forest all the morning had left its place to the one of the trees.

He wasn't really paying any attention to what was around. He was just keeping an eye on the situation in case a youkai attacked, even though that was nearly impossible. Nobody dared to fight him. He, Sesshoumaru, was feared in all the lands.

Then a scent caught his attention. Rin's blood. He looked for the child. She was still there near him dancing. Grinning to himself he thought 'So the bastard's still around…' The thing that caught his attention was that the scent didn't belong to a youkai, but a human. 'That makes no difference. Finally a good hunt after a long time.'

A/N: Pfui!! Chapter 1's finished! ^-^ Yey I can't believe it!! Yey yey yey!! ^o^ Thanx 4 reading! The part with Rin is sooo strange! It's just that I thought that at that age when you think of serious stuff you get to think about stupid things! I liked giving nicknames to everything when I was Rin's age! (although it was only some years ago!) That's why Jaken's called toady-toad by Rin! It's cute! Review & review ne?

Thanx, Kayrin