InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Red Tears ❯ Reminiscing ( Chapter 1 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

Kagome read through the diary that once held all her happy childhood memories and now held her depressed, half-hearted entries. Her many bracelets raked up her arm, slight pain coming from the long, deep scratches beneath them. She didn’t wince, didn’t even acknowledge that there was a small amount of pain on her arm. She just flipped the page of her journal.

Aah, the beginning of her depression.


She smiled bitterly and threw the diary against the wall. Life hadn’t gotten better after that, and she didn’t want to see the red tears she always left behind.

It hit the wall with a loud smack, then bounced and landed, open, an inch away from her right foot. Kagome eyed it, until the urge became too big, and she picked it up and read the page it had opened to; it was 10 pages away from the one se had read, and was dated March 14, 2004.


The end was marked with blood by her name, not very big or deep cuts, that took a while to bleed, and bled in knots. Kagome felt herself feel a little bad, but she brushed it off and sat the diary down.

Kagome walked into the bathroom at the school. “Good, nobody here,” she said under her breath, looking around. She grabbed a handful of paper towels from the dispenser and dug in her pocket for her razor. She always kept it there to reassure herself that she could always cut herself when she needed to.

She pressed it against her left arm, watching until the blood came, before she began dragging it along her arm, leaving a trail of crimson blood behind the blade.

Suddenly, the door banged open and a skinny girl walked in. Kagome panicked, and was slow to cover her wounds. Kikyo saw.

For a minute, the girl just stood there, gaping at Kagome. Then, finally over the shock, Kikyo gasped. “Kagome, why?” she cried in a high pitched, over-dramatic voice.

Kagome just glared at Kikyo and pressed the paper towels against her arm tightly. By lunch time, word about her cutting would be all over school. Kikyo glanced at Kagome, and then she turned to a mirror and smothered her perfect lips in shiny pink lip-gloss. “You know, Kagome,” Kikyo said through her hand. “That leaves scars. Doesn’t it hurt?”

Kagome looked at Kikyo, surprised. This girl, with her upturned nose and snotty attitude, spent her days torturing Kagome, and her nights making her want to be like her. Why was she actually talking to her now, when she never had before? Kagome decided not to answer. She could feel Kikyo’s eyes boring holes into the back of her head as she cleaned herself up.

“So,” Kikyo said finally, turning away from Kagome and admiring herself in the mirror. “It doesn’t hurt? It looks like it does, but maybe I’m just squeamish or something.” Kikyo glanced at Kagome and watched as she put her bracelets on one by one and pulled her sleeves down to cover her cuts and bruises.

Kagome glanced at Kikyo again before leaving the room. She stopped in the doorway, then turned around and went back in, letting the door shut before she said anything. “Don’t tell anyone.” Kagome said through clenched teeth.

With that she left, missing Kikyo’s whispered “I won’t.”

“I can’t believe that I let Kikyo see me cutting! The one person I hate, the one person I can’t stand, and she saw me! How do I know she won’t tell anyone? I know I can’t trust her. So what do I do?

The next day at school, Kagome avoided walking down the hall where Kikyo’s locker was, but she couldn’t avoid her in the classes they had together. Nobody looked at her weird like she expected them to, and nobody made any wise cracks about blood or cutting. In fact, everybody ignored her. It wasn’t normal, but it was better than before when everybody bothered her every waking minute.

Kagome quietly rotated from class to class, dreading the 90 minute period she had with Kikyo in 8th period. A lot could happen in an hour and a half.

“Kagome,” Kikyo said when she came in and sat her books next to her. And that was it. No “hey, how are you doing,” no comment about her cutting, no nothing. Kagome wished she could be relieved, but her secret just put tension between them, Kagome was so scared that Kikyo would tell on her. And maybe she wouldn’t tell her friends. That’s what scared her the most. If Kikyo told her friends, Kagome would be okay with it. She would be able to deal with the taunting and wise cracks. But if Kikyo told an adult, a teacher, a parent, Kagome would be caught red handed-not to mention red-wristed.

Kagome feared showing anyone her cuts, she had so many, that each time she cut herself it took them longer to heal. They became itchier and itchier, but Kagome couldn’t stop cutting. It took away the emotional stuff that she didn’t want to deal with.






Kagome isn’t really all that popular. Nobody likes her, and nobody’s ever nice to her. I’ve tried to be nice, but man, that girl is cold. She never smiles either. Ever. She used to be nice and happy, never cheated, never stole. She was always happy to share with anyone, and she didn’t care if you never gave it back. She got straight A’s, and she thought she had a lot of friends. I used to envy her. How could one human being possibly be that happy all the time? It was like she was perfect, you know? Like she had a perfect life.

Then people started being mean to her. They would steal things, toilet paper her house, egg her car, and call her names. They were just plain cruel to her. If you ask me, they were jealous of her because they could never be as innocent, as nice as she was to everyone.

That’s when she started to…I don’t know. Withdraw from everyone. If you asked her a question, you had to ask it more than five times before she would answer. Her grades started to fall, and she didn’t smile as often as she used to. Her eyes started to get this dead quality to them, they were dull, and usually glazed over, like she had been drinking. Her eyes started to get dark purple bags under them, and she hardly ever talked. Then, a group of boys-I think they were juniors, maybe seniors, they were older than her, at least-pushed her off the edge.

At first they were just messing around, bored and trying to occupy themselves. They planned the whole thing out, and talked about it for days, until one of them became obsessed with the idea, and wouldn’t let it rest until he talked the rest of the guys into doing it too.

So one night, at 12:30, they snuck over to her house. At first, they were just going to scare her. Bur one boy brought toilet paper and chocolate syrup. And that set it all off. They completely defaced her house with the chocolate, before TPing it, and then, when they were all done, they ran around the house screaming and tapping on windows. I’m sure Kagome was scared, but she didn’t talk to anybody after that, so no one knows.

By that time, all of Kagome’s “friends” had ditched her, so she didn’t have anyone to help her clean it up like most people’s friends usually would.

I felt sorry for her, but I’m not about to blow my popularity on someone like her. I was surprised to see her that day when I walked into the bathroom. Usually nobody was there at this time. I didn’t even notice the cuts ‘till she looked down guiltily at her arm, then back at me, before she tried to franticly cover them up. I couldn’t think of anything to say, so for a while, I was quiet.

If everybody hated you, what would you do? It wasn’t surprising that she was doing it, if you thought about it. So I stated the obvious. “You know, Kagome, that leaves scars.” I was a little curious too. “Did it hurt?”

She just glared at me. And who could blame her? She didn’t want to talk to me. She didn’t want to talk to anyone. So I just babbled. Obviously it got me nowhere, because she still glared at me, but at least I tried to talk to her, you know?

Finally, she walked out the door. But then she just stood there, holding the door open. I was curious, but didn’t say anything. She came back in the room, but was silent until the door slammed shut behind her. What was she doing?

Then, for the first time in over a year and a half, she uttered the three most threatening and scary words that I’ve ever heard. “Don’t tell anyone.”
I was so scared and surprised that she had said something, that I didn’t say anything until way after the door banged shut again.

“I won’t.”

But why would I want to? And better yet, who would want to know?



A/N: Sorry the chapters are so short, I’m trying to fix it.