InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Reflected Past ❯ Alpha Male ( Chapter 15 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Chapter Fifteen - Alpha Male


Kagome would certainly have included the word scary in any description of Sesshoumaru, both for the cold, emotionless way in which he conducted himself and for his apparent lack of compassion for any living thing. Now as she watched his bland expression slowly morph while he listened to her explanation of Ashrem’s message to her, she found that the word “scary” was indeed very apt. Apparently Inuyasha was getting the same vibe from him, because suddenly he was standing so close to Kagome that their arms were touching.

“He’s obviously serious,” Kagome finished awkwardly, not liking at all the look that was on the youkai lord’s face. “But … you look like you already know that.”

He did not reply, instead his eyes bored into Kagome’s with unnerving intensity, as though searching for something. Deceit? she wondered. Does he think I’m lying to him? She had to fight the urge to look away.

“So did you kill her, Sesshoumaru?” Inuyasha asked bluntly. Somehow it would not surprise him at all to discover that his older brother had been the root cause behind the Shikon no Tama. The jewel had perpetuated vast amounts of destruction, and Inuyasha suspected that the sun never set on Sesshoumaru’s day until he had managed to kill, maim, or bring misery to others in some form or fashion.

“I was there when she died …,” Sesshoumaru began slowly.

“Shocking,” Inuyasha muttered sarcastically.

Sesshoumaru turned a glare on him. “Speak of things you actually know something about, Inuyasha. In other words, be silent.” He turned back to Kagome. “I did not cause her death. That was brought about by the one who spoke to you.”

“Ashrem?”

“Yes,” Sesshoumaru answered, looking visibly angry. Ashrem will not even lay claim to his own actions, he thought. Instead it seemed Ashrem wished to foster even more distrust between his enemy and the brother that hated him, as well as this miko, Kagome, who appeared to have unexpectedly gained Ashrem’s interest. As these thoughts filtered through his mind, Sesshoumaru’s gaze fell to the sparkling jewel that hung around her neck, watching it as though expecting it to suddenly spring to life and start talking simply from the force of his will alone. Finally, he looked back up at Kagome’s face. “Is he inside the jewel?” he asked in a quietly ominous voice.

“I … don’t know. He appeared to me from within it, but …,” she trailed off then as she recalled the first strange instance in which the jewel had reacted to Ashrem’s urging. She had seen a hand pointing up toward a swarm of flying youkai, likely the same horde that had later attacked them at Kaede’s village. “No,” Kagome said, suddenly sure. “He’s not inside the jewel. He tried to destroy a group of Naraku’s demons, although at the time I didn’t realize that was what I was seeing.”

“She released him, too, then,” Rin murmured, frowning as though trying to remember something. “I … thought it was only Naraku’s demons, but …” The soft echo of Midoriko’s voice whispered in her ears, and she remembered the deceased demon exterminator’s concern over Ashrem. “He must have been let go as well.”

“Remain here,” Sesshoumaru ordered suddenly, a grim set to his voice. “I will return soon.”

He turned to leave them, but his forward motion was stopped by Inuyasha’s quickly stated defiance. “Let’s go, Kagome. He’s been warned. It’s his problem now.”

Rin watched Sesshoumaru as he turned back around to eye Inuyasha, likely annoyed at the hanyou’s audacious dismissal of his command. “You are free to leave. I would encourage it, in fact,” he told Inuyasha coolly, and then pointed toward Kagome. “She is to stay here.”

“Excuse me?” Inuyasha questioned with a scowl. “We’ve warned you. That’s all we came to do. Don’t try to involve Kagome in this.”

“You stupid, insolent child. It is not I who involved her in this.” Sesshoumaru looked to Rin then, who was standing off to the side, watching them pensively. “Rin, take her to the house and wait there until I return.”

“Are you deaf?” Inuyasha asked incredulously, obviously gearing up for a fight, his hand automatically reaching for Tessaiga’s hilt. “I said that we were leaving.”

With an air of exasperation, Sesshoumaru disdainfully replied, “I do not have the time to stand here and explain every detail to someone so mentally deficient. Wait here and I will explain more fully when I return. If you leave, your miko might very well become the newest source of a Shikon no Tama. Then it is she who will have paid for your rash actions.”

“I don’t trust you,” Inuyasha growled, but he seemed hesitant now, clearly bothered by Sesshoumaru's dark warning.

“Nor should you. However, this is a special circumstance.” He moved closer to Inuyasha and lowered his voice so that his words would not reach the ears of the two girls that were watching them. “I believe she is my assassin. Exhibit some patience for once in your life, Inuyasha.”

Inuyasha blinked at these surprising words, the hostility melting from his expression as he looked over at Kagome for a moment. He then searched Sesshoumaru’s face for signs of deception, but the mask of cool detachment was firmly back in place. “We’ll wait,” he finally agreed, watching as Sesshoumaru accepted that and instantly shot off in a blur.


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An almost overwhelming reek of incense was pouring from the insides of the rotting temple when Sesshoumaru arrived. Except for this odor, there was no sign of life at the place that had served as Ashrem’s home. The building appeared to be falling in on itself, the clearing around it having become so infested with weeds, vines, and other vegetation that it resembled nothing of the well-maintained grounds it had once been. Appropriately enough, there was very little evidence remaining that would identify this as a holy place.

He knew Ashrem was not there, but was certain he had been recently. Incense did not burn itself, and it would be a perfect cover for the man’s scent, disguising the direction in which he had gone. Sesshoumaru, tense with frustration, walked up the disintegrating steps and entered the cavernous, rot-ridden temple. Most of the rooms he passed were dark and empty. The place radiated the feeling of a tomb, and Sesshoumaru was only sorry that it had not managed to contain the individual he would now have to track down and destroy.

The steady dripping of water could be heard as droplets gathered at the ends of tree branches that had intruded into the building, creating sprawling puddles on the decaying wood floors. Sesshoumaru stepped over these and continued into the heart of the temple. He found his way to a room that housed a large, tarnished bronze statue of one of the human species’ many gods. At the statue’s feet sat the burning pot of incense.

As his eyes flickered across the dimness of the room, they fell on a scrawled line of characters that had been carved into the wooden wall beside the statue; characters that were clearly written by a hand that had learned them in a time long past. It seemed the incense had not been a mask, but a trail.

She will help me this time, Sesshoumaru-sama.

A sudden surge of anger displayed itself in Sesshoumaru’s fist exploding outward to smash the bronzed god, its face and torso broken into angular pieces that clattered raucously to the floor. A poisonous fury coursed through his veins, thumping inside his skull. He could not remember the last time he had so wanted to strangle the life from someone. This time he would make absolutely certain that the wretched creature remained among the dead.

Turning and striding toward the temple’s exit, his mind worked furiously over the message that had been left for him. After the warning Inuyasha and Kagome had brought to him, his immediate conclusion had been that it was Kagome who had been chosen to act as Ashrem’s human shield. Now, though, as he carefully considered the similarities between past and present, he wondered at Ashrem’s true intentions.

When he had originally seized control of Midoriko, Ashrem had prevented her from revealing his plans to Sesshoumaru. His hold on her had been so secure that he had been able to subjugate her will to his own. If Kagome was similarly under the man’s spell, then why would he allow her to warn him so freely? Something seemed wrong with this, and yet Sesshoumaru wondered if the warning had been Kagome’s act alone. Perhaps she had the spiritual and mental fortitude to shake off Ashrem’s influence, an ability she could have gained from shrine training that Midoriko had never received.

The use of Kagome would alter drastically from Midoriko; it would mean that this time Ashrem had chosen someone who meant nothing to Sesshoumaru. Kagome did not have the trust or affection that Sesshoumaru had allowed Midoriko. It would have been far more like Ashrem to attempt to gain access to Rin, but she was not a viable option for the job, as she did not have the abilities that Midoriko and Kagome possessed. Either Kagome had been an error caused by lack of information or she had been all that was available to him.

As he wandered the grounds, his thoughts drifted again to the cryptic message on the temple’s wall, clearly carved by Ashrem’s own hand, and obviously referring to both the past and the present. Was he referring to Midoriko alone? Was it only the jewel he was after? Perhaps he had come to the conclusion that the Shikon no Tama, the bearer of Midoriko’s powers, would be enough to kill a taiyoukai. It could be that this time Ashrem intended not to repeat the mistake of relying on the innate frailties of humans.

It was now clear that Ashrem was among the living once more and preparing to take action against him, and just as evident that he had some sort of connection with Kagome if he was able to communicate with her so directly. That in and of itself meant that Sesshoumaru would have to keep an eye on her. She would serve as his map to Ashrem. Although her existence was meaningless save for Midoriko’s apparent wish for her to guard the Shikon no Tama, Sesshoumaru was going to ensure that the girl was alive at the end of this, if for no other reason than to spite Ashrem.

It was not going to happen again.


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Though Inuyasha had grudgingly agreed to remain at his brother’s house, his impatience for answers and his worry over Sesshoumaru’s disconcerting warning about Kagome quickly manifested itself into curiosity. Rin and Kagome watched, following behind him as he wandered about the house, peering into long-unused rooms, picking up different objects, pulling weapons off of walls. This behavior had practically given Jaken a stroke as he had trailed after Inuyasha, alternately spitting out scathing insults and bemoaning the fact that his dear master’s father had actually helped create such a disrespectful creature. The little toad had finally stalked off after berating Rin for letting the much-despised hanyou get away with such audacity.

“Inuyasha,” Rin finally spoke up, “Jaken-sama is correct. Sesshoumaru will be---“

“You know, I’m still trying to figure out why you’re here,” Inuyasha said bluntly, pausing his inspection of another mostly-empty room to glance back at her with a very Sesshoumaru-like expression. He then closed the door and continued to stalk down the hallway.

“I’m here because I want to be,” Rin replied simply, glancing at Kagome who was also frowning at Inuyasha’s strange behavior.

“Yeah, is that code for “Save me, Inuyasha, he keeps me chained in the dungeon?” Inuyasha asked dryly, slamming another door.

“No,” Rin answered patiently. “He’s my friend.”

At this, Inuyasha stopped and turned around to face her, his expression that of disbelief. “You’ve gotta be kidding me. He’s a fluffy lump of evil. He doesn’t have friends.”

“That’s not true---“

“I’ve known him a hell of a lot longer than you. He’s a bad man, Rin. Be smart and find yourself a nice human village to settle into," Inuyasha advised, turning to shut yet another door.

“Inuyasha, what are you looking for?” Kagome finally asked, watching in bewilderment as he prepared to open the door of the last room in the hallway.

“This place smells like my father,” he muttered half-heartedly in response. It was unnerving and, at the same time, provoked an insatiable curiosity. He barely remembered Inutaisho, and this place, with all the things that had belonged to him, reeked of the deceased demon lord.

“Don’t go in that room, it’s---“ Rin began, but Inuyasha ignored her and shoved open the door.

“---Sesshoumaru’s,” Rin sighed as Inuyasha barged in.

The room was immaculate as always, everything perfectly arranged and in place. Inuyasha looked around with vague interest as Kagome overcame her own reticence and walked toward the display of swords that were attached to the wall. “That sword … that’s the one that Inuyasha brought to my era,” she said almost to herself, reaching a hand out to touch it. Inuyasha’s ears twitched as he picked up the subtle signs of movement, but by the time he turned around, Sesshoumaru was already behind Kagome, his hand clamped around her wrist.

“Have you no respect for other people’s property?” he hissed at her before releasing her arm. “It seems I cannot leave you alone for even a moment. It’s a wonder she has managed to live so long under your protection, Inuyasha.”

“What are you talking about?” Inuyasha asked, folding his arms defensively over his chest as he graced his brother with a contemptuous look. “It’s just a sword. Damn, but you’re getting paranoid in your old age.”

“On its own, it is just a sword. Wielded by the right hand, it is deadly to youkai.”

“And what makes you think that Kagome’s hand is the right one?”

Sesshoumaru watched Kagome carefully as he answered, “Because her abilities are very similar to the one for whom it was created.”

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As another thunderstorm rolled into the valley, Ashrem watched it come with growing trepidation. It was just such a moment as this that made him regret having had to vacate his home. Though it had degenerated into little more than a barely-erect pile of lumber over the three hundred years he had spent within the Shikon no Tama, it still provided some shelter and it was comfortingly familiar. Now that Sesshoumaru was well-informed of Ashrem’s resurrection, it would be an act of utter stupidity to return to his old guardian’s temple. No doubt the dog demon had someone carefully monitoring the derelict building by now. No, he would just have to deal with getting wet.

Tracking down the alliance he quite clearly needed had not been an easy task. It had taken some careful questioning to discover who of his old demon allies were still alive, who of them despised Sesshoumaru, and who would be willing to join him for a share of the Shikon no Tama. Not that Ashrem intended to hand any part of the jewel over to a youkai, but he had little else with which to secure their allegiance. And it did make for a very attractive offer.

Shinosuke, you bastard … I bet you’re around here somewhere, watching and laughing at me sitting out here in the rain…

And no sooner had the complaint completed itself when the demon in question appeared with startling suddenness. One moment Ashrem was seated alone on the side of a grassy hill and then, within the space of a thought, a pair of leather-clad feet were standing beside him. Blinking against the rain, Ashrem peered up at the tall, muscular form of the snow demon, his frost-white hair and skin looking distinctly out-of-place in their summery surroundings.

“I don’t believe it,” Shinosuke said, dropping down fluidly beside Ashrem. “I got your message. It seems neither the demon exterminator nor Inutaisho were able to do you in properly, Ashrem. Your luck astounds me.”

“I have to agree with you, Shinosuke-sama. The girl sealed me before the dog lord could finish me off. It was a close call.”

“And now you’re free again …”

“Now I’m free again,” Ashrem repeated in agreement, his expression turning to a glare as the rain that was falling down on them effectively doubled into a sheet of pouring water. He shared a glance of irritation with the snow youkai, who looked a bit wilted and uncomfortable in this humid precipitation.

“This will never do,” Shinosuke finally said, and Ashrem watched as, with a motion of his pale hands, he transformed the rain around them into a flurry of snowflakes. The instantaneous drop in temperature startled Ashrem, who found now that the ground underneath him was frozen along with the droplets of water that had rained down on his clothes and skin.

“Yes, that’s far more comfortable,” Ashrem said sarcastically, brushing the thin layer of ice off of his arms and robes.

“Agreed,” Shinosuke replied, apparently oblivious to Ashrem’s lack of sincerity. “And now, I believe you had a proposition to discuss with me?”

Ashrem nodded, folding his arms to his chest for warmth. “I’ve heard that you’re still rather … at odds with Lord Sesshoumaru?”

“That arrogant son of a bitch? I’d gladly slit his throat if that damned sword of his wasn’t so attached to him,” Shinosuke muttered.

“Sword?” Ashrem questioned with a frown.

“Yes, Tenseiga. It protects his life.”

Ashrem listened to this, remembering the sneering look on Inutaisho’s face as the youkai lord had informed Ashrem with unflappable certainty that his son would not be killed in the battle that had turned out to be Midoriko’s last. Had he been wearing Tenseiga then …? Ashrem wondered. Was that why he had not become a part of Midoriko’s sealed youkai menagerie?

“How would one go about ending his life, Shinosuke?” Ashrem asked carefully.

“Remove that sword from him and you can kill him. But I’ll warn you, at the very least you’re going to lose an appendage for trying that.”

“Remove the sword …,” Ashrem repeated thoughtfully, his mind already whirling with the beginnings of a plan as snow continued to swirl down on him, coating his dark hair with a layer of white. “And if I asked for your help?”

Shinosuke shrugged. “The answer to that would depend on what I would gain in relation to how much risk is involved.”

“Your gain would be a share of the Shikon no Tama. I will take care of attaining that. All I need is a small group of youkai at my command.”

“A group of youkai to serve a human?” Shinosuke repeated incredulously. “You don’t ask for much, do you?”

“Will you do it?” Ashrem asked, fixing the pale-eyed demon with a look of great seriousness. Just believe me and do it ….

“You’ll have your youkai, Ashrem,” Shinosuke agreed. “But don’t double-cross me. I think you know what the result of that will be.”

“Shinosuke, if there’s one human a demon can trust, it’s me,” Ashrem assured him with a wide, disarming smile.


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Seated beside Kagome in one of the main rooms, Rin listened to the wailing wind outside as the storm pounded on the roof above them. Firelight had cast the entire room in a dull orange glow, posting their shadows on the far wall; the most obvious shadow being that of a head with dog ears that twitched every now and then, making evident his bad mood. Rin glanced over at Inuyasha, who had refused to sit while his brother still stood and so had settled for standing with his arms crossed, watching Sesshoumaru with blatant distrust.

Rin then looked back at the silent Sesshoumaru. He stood in profile, watching the roaring fire, the light burnishing his white hair to a warm gold color, disguising some of the hardness in his face. Rin found she was content with just watching him, but his brother clearly found him to be far less fascinating than did she.

“Could you speed up the explanation for those of us with a shorter lifespan?” Inuyasha finally demanded.

Sesshoumaru turned then, his eyes locking onto Inuyasha. “You serve no purpose here.”

“I stay with Kagome.”

“To her detriment, no doubt.”

“Okay, that’s not what this is about,” Kagome broke in before Inuyasha could come up with a sufficiently rude retort. She turned her full attention to Sesshoumaru. “You’ve told me that it is best for me to remain here. I’d appreciate knowing why.”

“Three centuries ago, my father befriended a human girl named Midoriko, the same woman who created the jewel you are wearing,” Sesshoumaru replied without preamble, sounding as though he disliked confiding this history to the presented audience. “He felt that he owed her a favor, and so he gifted her with the sword I warned you against. As I have told you, I was present when Midoriko died, when she sealed those demons and created the Shikon no Tama. During her final battle, she was attempting to fight off the control of an outside force; that of a human man named Ashrem. He had somehow developed the ability to dominate another’s will and actions through mental manipulation. How so, I do not know.”

“And why was he manipulating Midoriko?” Kagome asked, visibly subdued by the story. Even Inuyasha seemed to be listening with interest.

“He wanted to use her as his personal youkai exterminator, with the intention of beginning that extermination with my father and myself. The sword my father created for her has the ability to purify a demonic aura, the amount of destruction wrought by it being directly related to the strength of the youkai it is being used against and that of the one wielding it.” Sesshoumaru paused, before revealing his enemy’s motive. “Ashrem had a deep resentment against us for ruling the west, and against youkai in general. Because Midoriko had managed to earn our trust and friendship, he believed that she would be a suitable weapon, and he was correct. She was nearly successful in killing me while under his control.”

“And you still claim you didn’t cause her death? It’s pretty hard for me to believe that you’d let a human girl take a swing at you without killing her where she stood,” Inuyasha stated grimly.

“She and I were on friendly terms. I knew it was not something she would have done under her own will,” Sesshoumaru responded stiffly.

“’Friendly terms’?” Inuyasha asked with more than a little curiosity, finally sinking down into a seat, legs rudely propping themselves on a table. “I’d like to hear about that, especially with all the flack you’ve given me about Kagome over the years.”

“And that’s the part that’s none of your business, little brother,” Sesshoumaru reminded him swiftly, eyes narrowing with irritation as he paused to shove Inuyasha's dirty bare feet off of his furniture. “My involvement with Midoriko was never improper. I doubt that you can say the same.”

“Then you believe,” Kagome said slowly, purposefully interrupting what was obviously a subject that was about to morph into an argument, “that he is now using me?”

Sesshoumaru turned his attention back to her, and Inuyasha took the moment to thump his feet back onto the table. “Ashrem has been released and has found that a human woman with similar abilities to those of Midoriko shares a link with him through the Shikon no Tama. I do not know if he has become able to control you directly, but I have my suspicions. I do know that you are my best means of finding him. I told Inuyasha earlier that you could very well become the source of another Shikon no Tama. Those were not idle words.”

Kagome blinked in surprise. “But how …?”

“Do you not see the similarities between then and now, miko? The sword has resurrected itself, you possess the Shikon no Tama, you have powers of your own, and Ashrem is involved. The last time all of these things met, Midoriko was forced to create the Shikon no Tama in order to defeat her foes.” Sesshoumaru was pleased to see that at least the miko seemed to be taking his words seriously, and added, “Ashrem is a coward. He will not come at me directly, but instead through someone else. If you are that person, then it will be best for you to do as I say.”

“I’m not going to try to kill you, Sesshoumaru.”

“Odd that our past history says differently,” he answered wryly, recalling a few battles where some well-placed arrows had been a source of contention.

“That goes both ways, pal,” Inuyasha spoke up, and he watched with silent, evil amusement as Sesshoumaru's eyes slid back toward him.

"The next time I have to remove your feet, it will be permanent, Inuyasha. Decide whether you want to keep them," Sesshoumaru prompted icily, claws twitching with unstated threat, and this time Inuyasha decided to pull his legs down on his own, gesturing rudely at his brother's back as Sesshoumaru turned once more to Kagome.

“I know what I’m looking for,” he told her with certainty. “You are not powerful enough to kill me, just as Midoriko was not strong enough to defeat that horde of demons. The Shikon no Tama resulted from her efforts. I’d prefer it if you did not curse us with another.”

Kagome nodded, brown eyes troubled. “I can understand why you would be nervous about me getting too near that sword. But why Rin?”

Rin, who had been quietly listening to the conversation, now found herself looking up at Sesshoumaru as he answered with less confidence. “The sword responds to her. I am not certain as to the depth of its involvement in creating the Shikon no Tama. It is for that reason I’ve asked her to stay away from it.”

“All right, now that the big story is out, what do we do? Just sit here and stare at each other?” Inuyasha asked restlessly.

“We wait,” Sesshoumaru answered easily. “Ashrem will not remain silent for long.”


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Nor would it seem they would have to wait long for violence to erupt between the two brothers.

Rin was busily straightening the room she and Kagome were sharing as she listened patiently to Jaken’s endless list of complaints about their guests and the fact that the house smelled entirely too much of hanyou and human. When she decided to tune him out, her ears quickly picked up on the sound of two easily recognizable male voices exchanging unintelligible words, voices that quickly rose in tone and temper until Rin was unable to close her ears to the insults that were frequently being punctuated by some of the most impressive expletives she had ever heard.

“Why must they be like this?” she grumbled, interrupting Jaken’s long-winded speech. The toad blinked as he, too, listened to what was coming from outside the window.

“The hanyou challenges Sesshoumaru-sama’s authority,” Jaken informed her contemptuously.

“His authority? How so?” Rin inquired, wincing as a particularly foul word rang through the open window.

“Baka, you’re just a human, you wouldn’t understand,” Jaken sniffed imperiously at her.

“Try me.”

“Sesshoumaru-sama is the head of the family, he is the eldest and the alpha male. Inuyasha was not raised in a household that included this structure, and so he has no respect for it. To Sesshoumaru-sama, this is a challenge to his dominance.”

“And for Inuyasha, it’s a matter of pride,” Rin finished thoughtfully. And how were they ever to solve such a quarrel? she wondered, as she folded up the bed. The sudden loud onslaught of clashing weapons was what made her stop her chores and hurry to the front of the house.

“What’s wrong?! They were only yelling just a minute ago!” Rin exclaimed as she ran out to find Kagome perched on the edge of the top step, shaking her head as she, too, watched the brothers hack murderously at each other.

“They’re within ten feet of each other, aren’t they?” Kagome said with an exasperated sigh, resting her chin in her hands.

“Then they’re always like this?” Rin asked, her heart pounding with worry as Toukijin swept just over Inuyasha’s head.

“Yep.”

“Will they hurt each other?”

“Probably, but they won’t kill each other. Their father knew what he was doing. Give one son a sword that can kill his brother, give the other a sword that will keep his brother from killing him. Inutaisho-sama was a genius.”

“Or he knew what to expect in the future,” Rin sighed, dropping down to sit next to Kagome. “Shouldn’t we try to stop them?”

“It’s probably better for them to get it out of their systems. They’re not used to being in such close quarters with each other,” Kagome answered reassuringly, even though she was growing nervous as well at what looked to be a serious intent on the part of both demons to dismember each other.

“KAZE NO KI---“ both girls tensed in alarm, but Sesshoumaru leapt at the hanyou and swung Toukijin, knocking the Tessaiga out of Inuyasha’s grasp. The hanyou responded by gripping his brother’s wrist with both hands, creating a stalemate until Sesshoumaru released Toukijin. The fight promptly degenerated into a flurry of fists and claw attacks.

“They’re acting like children.”

“Or rabid dogs?” Kagome mildly suggested.

“I don’t think we should let this continue,” Rin said nervously.

“I think they’ve had enough,” Kagome declared suddenly, noticing that Sesshoumaru was now dangling Inuyasha off the ground by the throat and, likewise, the hanyou’s claws were dug into Sesshoumaru’s own neck.

Rin watched as Kagome stood up, brushed off her short skirt, and walked sedately down the stairs, heading for the two demons. After only a moment’s hesitation Rin followed her, disturbed by the maliciousness of the fight.

“Okay, you two, let’s stop it here,” Kagome ordered them.

“His existence tries my patience,” Sesshoumaru snarled. Inuyasha said nothing, instead settling for glaring angrily into his brother’s face.

“It’s not as though you had much of that to begin with. Let him go, Sesshoumaru. Inuyasha, you, too.”

Neither youkai budged, instead their hateful eyes fixed on each other as though willing the other to drop dead from the force of their stare. “Yes, let go, hanyou,” Sesshoumaru finally suggested, though his own hold on Inuyasha did not slacken in the least.

Inuyasha winced as a burning sensation began to crawl across his throat, scorching the skin. He responded to Sesshoumaru’s subtle use of poison by clamping his claws even further into his brother’s neck, creating deepening puncture wounds. Sesshoumaru, in turn, intensified the attack, his fingers and hand turning a disturbing green color as they worked to burn away Inuyasha’s skin. A low growl emanated from Inuyasha’s throat, but he did not seem at all inclined to be the first to give in.

"You want to try to outlast me, half-breed?" he murmured maliciously into Inuyasha's face. "So much overconfidence in one weak little body. Your head will roll off your shoulders at this rate."

Unnerved by the cold, dead look on Sesshoumaru’s face, Rin finally ended the stalemate by reaching out and grasping onto the back of his hand. Instantly, she wondered if she had just done something very stupid, as the feeling that her fingers were melting began to crawl up the nerves in her arm. Her action had the desired result, however. Sesshoumaru instantly ceased the flow of poison and shook Rin’s hand off, dropping Inuyasha in the process.

“Wash your hand!” Sesshoumaru barked at her as Inuyasha picked himself up from the ground, looking for all the world like he would rather just resume the argument. Sesshoumaru did not give him the opportunity; instead he stalked off toward the house without so much as a parting insult to the hanyou.

Wordlessly, Rin did as he commanded, flexing the burning appendage as she walked over to the pond. She knelt next to the water and plunged her arm in up to the elbow, her moment of worry over the heavy-handed fight quickly metamorphosing into slowly-building anger as she wriggled her fingers underneath the water. He really needs to learn to control his temper when his brother’s around, she thought fiercely. What was I supposed to do? Stand there and watch him decapitate Inuyasha?

“Is it bad, Rin-chan?” Kagome asked quietly, kneeling next to the younger girl.

“It’s fine,” Rin replied quickly, pulling her hand up to look at the blistering skin. It had been worth it, too. It had bothered her more than she could express, seeing Sesshoumaru so stubbornly bent on having the last word with Inuyasha. What argument between them could possibly be worth such lethal retaliation?

“Inuyasha?” Kagome asked, turning to watch as a surly half-demon moved past the girls and knelt to dunk his head in the water, his hands scrubbing at his own burning skin. Kagome moved to help him, pouring handfuls of water on the back of his neck, which bore the burned imprints of Sesshoumaru’s fingers and claws.

“That damned cur,” Inuyasha growled, pulling his drenched head up and quickly shaking the water out of his hair, inadvertently splattering Kagome and Rin, who drew back from the unexpected shower. “When this Ashrem guy finally shows up, I know which side I’m cheering for.”


------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------

As night approached the western lord’s home, the house contained two ill-tempered demons, two exasperated human females, and a retainer who, in his excessively vocal attempt to side with his master, had only found himself a victim of Sesshoumaru’s ire via a rather creative death threat.

The vengeful hanyou was in a sulky mood that his human companion was doing her best to lift, which was why Rin decided to leave her room to Kagome and Inuyasha for the night. She hoped that he would be less easily angered if he spent a night in comfort, rather than up in a tree as he had chosen to do the night before.

This, of course, left Rin to find somewhere else to sleep. After her nightly bath, she wandered the long corridors, periodically stopping to look inside a room to see if it at least contained something soft to sleep on. She did not dare go and ask Sesshoumaru for direction; he was in a foul mood and she didn’t want to find herself on the receiving end of his harsh words as Jaken had. Even so, it was not long before the strange movements in the abandoned sections of the house drew his attention, as Rin was quick to discover when she turned to leave a room only to find him blocking the door behind her.

“What are you doing?” he asked curiously.

“Trying to find a place to sleep. There’s nothing in any of these rooms,” she informed him, calming down slowly after the fright of his sudden appearance.

“I don’t like guests,” he reminded her. “And what is wrong with your own room?”

“I think Kagome wanted Inuyasha to stay with her for the night. He’s in a pretty bad mood.”

“Good. I’ll make it worse by removing him from the house.”

“Please,” Rin pled instantly, reaching out to grab onto his arm as he turned to go fulfill that statement. “Can’t we make this a little more peaceful? They don’t want to be here any more than you want them here. But you were the one that asked them to stay.”

“I asked her to stay, not him,” Sesshoumaru corrected her, his eyes falling to the blistered hand that was tugging on his sleeve. “And you should not have interfered earlier today.”

“I wasn’t just going to let you two kill each other.”

“I would not have killed him, but he often needs to be reminded of his station.”

“His station,” Rin repeated flatly. “Because you are a full youkai? Because he is half human?”

“You are angry,” he said, looking as though the very idea amazed him.

“I am,” she verified, surprised at the sudden surge in irritation toward him. “I don’t understand you in the least, Sesshoumaru-sama. I keep hearing the words “superior” and “inferior” as descriptions of youkai and human, and it makes me wonder what I’m doing here.”

“I told you to drop the title.”

“At the moment, I feel more comfortable using it,” she replied quickly, aware that she was sounding petulant.

He stared at her silently, a gaze that she matched with equal intensity, refusing to turn away. Finally, he gave in and spoke quietly, “Come with me.”

“What?” she asked, dumbfounded by the sudden turn in conversation.

“Come with me,” he repeated, grasping onto her elbow and pulling her through the doorway with him.

She did not protest further as she allowed him to lead her toward the center of the house, finally coming to a dark well of stairs that looked black enough to be a descent into hell. Rin recalled coming upon this place once as a little girl. She had been too terrified of it to ever try to explore it; the opening had looked too much like a giant, gaping mouth.

“There is nothing in there that will harm you. On the contrary,” he told her, as though picking up on her reticence to descend into such utter blackness. He kept a firm grip on her arm as he led the way down, his sight perfectly functional, hers completely blinded. A strange herbal smell filtered past Rin’s nose and she frowned into the darkness.

“What is this place?”

“It stores medicines that are useful against various forms of youkai and exterminator attacks,” Sesshoumaru informed her. “Because most of my father’s family was killed by the northerners long ago, he found himself in a difficult predicament, attempting to retain the lands he had just reclaimed with very little help. He found himself under attack by all manner of demons, all of which he was able to defeat, but, at times, not without a cost to himself. Each variation of demon possesses different attacks, some with weapons, some of an elemental nature, some of poisons or energy, all of which differ from demon bloodline to demon bloodline. In order to help preserve his life as well as those around him, my father began accumulating a vast collection of antidotes and medicines that serve to counteract these attacks. Demons heal very quickly, but even more so with this sort of aid. And I cannot count the number of humans he rescued.”

Rin listened, stumbling slightly on a step before she managed to reach out and clasp onto the shoulder of his absent arm to right herself. When they reached the bottom, she could just make out the flickering of a melting candle, glowing like a beacon. Sesshoumaru released her and picked it up, using it to light two of the sconces along the stone walls. Rin wondered how far underneath the house they were. The temperature had seemed to drop with every descending step and this room was nothing short of frigid.

She looked around her, noticing the many shelves and cupboards that lined the walls, though most were nothing more than shadowy outlines in the vague light. Sesshoumaru, unhindered by the lack of much illumination, opened one of the cupboard doors and rummaged through it briefly before extracting something.

Rin moved back to his side as he placed the small jar on a long wooden table underneath one of the flickering wall lamps. He reached for an empty bowl and a bottle of some liquid that she assumed to be water, pouring some into the bowl before adding a large dose of a powdery substance, using his fingers to quickly swish it around into a mixture. Rin squinted her eyes and backed a step away from what smelled like rotting vegetables.

Before she could ask him what he was doing, Sesshoumaru had reached for her injured hand and pushed it down into the muck, which was becoming less liquid and more mud-like by the moment.

“Keep it there,” he said quietly, but she could not have pulled it out even if she had wanted to, as he was keeping it submerged with his own hand.

Within only seconds, Rin could feel a strange, icy tingling surging from fingertips to shoulder, a feeling that increased until it was almost uncomfortable. “What is it …?”

“It counteracts my own poison.”

After several more minutes, he released her hand and allowed her to withdraw it, gesturing for her to clean her hands with some of the water. As she washed the muddy substance off of her skin, Rin realized instantly that the terrible stiffness had left her fingers. He watched her expectantly as she brought her hand up for inspection, flexing her fingers.

“Thank you, Sesshoumaru,” she said, amazed at the sudden painlessness in her hand and, by now, having completely forgotten that she had been angry with him only minutes earlier.

“I apologize.”

She froze at the sound of this unfamiliar word coming from him. “Apologize?” she repeated, as though she had not heard correctly.

“Yes, for the injury.”

“Ah, well, as you said, I interfered …”

“I would not have stopped for anyone else,” he said so suddenly, that Rin blinked at the words. She struggled to see his face in the darkness, but could not, save the faint glow of his eyes. “But you know that. And that, Rin, is why you are still here with me, in my home,” he said, referencing her earlier bitterly stated confusion.

“I don’t understand what you’re saying,” Rin said, though her instincts were telling her that this conversation was about to take a decidedly more intimate turn.

“Likely because I am not good at saying it,” Sesshoumaru admitted, his quiet nature fighting against the obvious need to have this discussion.

“Saying what?” she asked, very aware of the fact that he was unnaturally close to her, not at all maintaining his usual polite distance. Her skin began to heat up of its own accord and she wondered how she could ever have mistaken this room for cold …

“You are here,” he began slowly, “because your heart wills you to stay with me; despite my character, despite the fact that I abhor your species, despite the fact that we, truly, should not be doing this.”

“Sesshoumaru---” she began, astonished at the truth he so bluntly stated.

“Do you deny it?”

“No,” she replied. Her brain and body were caught in an internal warfare, one enjoying how close they were standing together, the other, more panicky organ suggesting that she flee in panic. What had brought on this conversation? she wondered. It was so unlike him, so disconcerting, and so completely coming out of nowhere. But, then, he was often unpredictable …

“Then I owe you a similar confession," he added then, a faint uncertainty lacing his voice, as though he wondered at his own wisdom for confiding these words to her. "You have managed to elicit a response from me that no one else has ever managed. You have become as important to me as myself and, knowing that you are likely quite unaware of how truly self-centered I am, I will tell you that you should not take that statement lightly.”

“I’m not sure I understand,” Rin said breathlessly, both ecstatic and terrified at what he was saying.

“You are in love with me.”

Rin stared at him, wide-eyed, amazed at the bluntly stated declaration. Her heart lurched to a standstill, feeling as though she had been caught at something she was not supposed to be doing, something that was offensive. Still, she refused to deny it. If he had decided that now was the time for honesty, she would be willing to give it back. “Yes,” she finally admitted.

“Then I should tell you that that is indescribably alarming.”

“A-alarming?” Rin stammered, trying to keep her tone level, but aware that the word still came out sounding choked. Now she wished she could take back that admission; it was not something she would have wanted out in the open between them if she could have guessed at his response. A crushing feeling was clamping over her, squeezing her, making her somehow want to cry or laugh or, better yet, flee.

Sesshoumaru frowned at his poor word usage as he witnessed the sudden look of misery that crossed her face. I am terrible at this, he thought with grim certainty…which was why he confused the poor girl even more by refuting her attempt to put some distance between them. Instead, he reached out to grip her shoulder, pulling her even closer. Her head was bent, as though she found it difficult to look at him, and he felt a sudden, nearly irrepressible urge to touch her, not trap her so that she could not run away....

“There is very little that I can allow for, Rin, and I am not entirely certain it would be in your best interests to agree to engage in such a lacking relationship. Staying permanently with me would mean no true marriage for you, no children, no family. I don’t think you should be so quick to give those things up in order to spend your remaining years near me.” He paused then, appreciating the delicate features of her face as it finally turned upward to meet his gaze once more. She was so … familiar; it was a strange feeling. And it was also incredible to him that he would ever have become so infatuated with a human girl. Inexcusable. Indefensible. Perhaps I have inherited some of my father’s weakness after all, he thought, less than pleased at the idea.

“Do you see what I am saying?” he asked her, his voice quiet and subdued. “There are some things I can never give you. I have responsibilities to my position, to my family, and to my kind. If I should ever show weakness by shirking those in order to provide you with a normal life, the regional youkai will do what they can to destroy me, you, and everything I have here. I cannot allow for that. It simply is not in me to do.”

Rin absorbed his honest words, finally managing to find her own voice. “What is it that you want, Sesshoumaru? It seems to me that you would be giving up as much as I would be.”

“My life would continue on as it is right now, something that I am content with. You don’t have the same number of years, Rin. What I want from this is your decision. I will not make it for you; I did that once before concerning the direction of your life. You can make this one.”

“But it’s so hard to read you. I don’t know how to tell what you want,” she whispered in frustration, but was cut off when his head suddenly descended, a curtain of long, white hair whispering past the sides of her face as his lips met hers, softly, seductively. His hand crept to the back of her head, holding her in place until he was ready to end the kiss. Rin swayed slightly in surprise when he finally drew back.

“I think it’s quite easy to discern what I want," he disagreed.

She took a moment to catch her breath, so astounded by what had just occurred that she could think of nothing to say. She was hyper aware of certain things, the shaking of her hands, the fierce blush that was burning her cheeks, and the visual perfection of the face that stared back at her, waiting, watching, seeming amused by how rattled she was. “I …”

“Consider it carefully,” he advised.

She nodded, unable to look away from him for several long moments before she finally managed to gather her senses. She looked toward the table, at the bowl that was still filled with the horrible-smelling medicine. “I’ll … take this to Inuyasha ….”

Sesshoumaru took a moment to acquiesce, but his desire to appease her won out over the vindictiveness he felt toward his brother. He nodded lightly. “Do what you like.”


------------------------------------------------ ---------------------------------------------------


When Rin woke up the next morning to find a dull, gray pre-dawn hanging overhead, she could not help but wonder if she had just dreamed the strange, darkly secluded conversation she had shared with Sesshoumaru. She could almost say she wished she had. A deep confusion clung to her, making her feel heavy as she moved around and got dressed quietly, not wanting to disturb Kagome.

In a roundabout way, he had told her that he shared her feelings, which had been both shocking and wonderful to hear from him; but he had also been horribly honest with his declaration that this, essentially, was it. They would go on as they were now for as long as she allowed it. He had put it in her hands.

The desire to return to Kameko, to do as he had recommended and resume a normal human life had strengthened considerably since last night. Cruelly, it was his own admission of how important she was to him that made her just as willing to live her life out with him, as he had also invited her to do. She was so confused and unsure of the path to take that she had remained awake late into the night, asking herself hypothetical questions in order to gain more clarity as to her true feelings about her future. That had gotten her nowhere. Did she want to give up the prospect of children and a family? No. Would she be happy with a life that did not include Sesshoumaru? No. It seemed either way some unseen force was mocking her, and it made her wonder what it was that had instigated him to restore her life to her all those years earlier, only to bring her to a decision as horrible as this.

Aware that she must be quite the morose figure, moping around the house as she was, Rin wandered toward the beckoning expanse of nature that lay outside, all of which was dripping and sodden from the storms of the previous night. She found Inuyasha seated lazily out on the covered platform and, noting the soaked state of his clothing and tangled hair, she shook her head at his obstinate decision to spend yet another night in a tree.

“You didn’t have to stay out there, Inuyasha. It’s not like he would have locked you out.”

“I’d rather have slept in that flood,” Inuyasha muttered back. “This place stinks of him.”

“He’s not so bad,” Rin said with a smile, settling down next to him.

“You have no idea what you’re talking about. He may turn on the nice demon act for you, but he’s an arrogant, sadistic, heartless bastard. It doesn’t look like you’re going to take my warning.”

Rin watched as the calm, cool air suddenly blew in another sheet of rain, driving into the ground, spearing the water, and scaring the fish away to deeper depths. So much for a nice, sunny day, she thought with an inward sigh. “There is a lot of him that I have not seen,” she finally admitted, remembering the murderous expression on his face during the fight of the day before.

“You can say that again.”

“You really hate him, don’t you?”

“Absolutely,” Inuyasha agreed without hesitation. “You would, too, if you actually knew him. You seem like a pretty decent girl. I can’t figure it out.”

Rin raised her eyebrows and decided to challenge the hanyou’s statement. “Maybe I am the one that actually knows him.”

Inuyasha gave a derisive snort, clearly finding that to be unlikely. “Is this supposed to be some sort of attempt to get me to go in there and tell him it’s all water under the bridge? Not even Kagome’s that dumb.”

“No, I know better than that. Neither of you has any inclination to reconcile, so that would be pointless.”

“So glad you noticed.”

Rin fell silent for several moments before turning the conversation. “Do you know how I came to be with him, Inuyasha?”

“No, and I’m sure I don’t want to," came the dry response.

Rin continued on, undaunted by his attempt to shut down the conversation. “I met him while I was wandering through a forest outside of my village. He was wounded after a battle he had had with you, waiting to heal up before moving on. I tried to help him.”

“That was pretty damned stupid of you.”

“Probably,” she agreed with a smile. “And he thought so, too. He wouldn’t accept any of my help. I tried bringing him food, water, anything I could think of.”

“Didn’t they teach you anything about demons in that village?” Inuyasha asked sardonically, trying to picture the frightening scene that would be Sesshoumaru attempting to be friendly with a human child. The very thought nearly made him shudder. “Why would you do that?”

“I’m not sure. I think … since I was orphaned and living alone, I knew what it was like not to have anyone there to help me. When I saw him, I thought that I understood how he probably felt, and decided to try to help him. I didn’t want him to feel lonely.”

“He likes ‘lonely’.”

She laughed at the truth of that statement, grinning at the old memory. “At the time I didn’t know that, nor would I have understood. But, in any case, when the wolves massacred my village---“

“Wolves?” Inuyasha asked, his mind slowly putting two and two together as he recalled that their first meet-up with Kouga had occurred in a recently slaughtered village, just a day or so after he had used Kaze no Kizu on Sesshoumaru.

“Yes. I tried to escape, but they hunted me down on the path I was taking back to the woods. They killed me.”

“Killed you,” Inuyasha repeated, suddenly having an idea of where this story was going. “And then?”

“The next thing I remember is opening my eyes to find Sesshoumaru there. He had used Tenseiga to revive me, though I didn’t learn that until later. He walked away, but I followed him. He let me stay with him, and here I am today.”

“So, your point is he’s a nicer guy if he’s gotten his ass kicked recently.”

“No, my point is that Sesshoumaru remembers loyalty. He is capable of compassion and kindness. He’s not evil, as you claim.”

“I still don’t see what this is supposed to be telling me,” Inuyasha insisted with a shrug.

“Nothing in particular, other than what I have said. The next time you wonder why he does something that goes against your characterization of evil, just know that sometimes he does things for the right reasons.” She halted her speech for a moment before adding, “Kagome came to warn him just for the sake of trying to save his life. He will reward that by making sure she is not harmed by Ashrem.”

“I can make sure Kagome stays safe.”

“Then with the two of you, there’s no way Ashrem can touch her,” Rin told him with a confident smile.


------------------------------------------------------ -----------------------------------------------

Rin had hoped that her conversation with Inuyasha would perhaps turn the hanyou’s feelings a bit, calm him down and assure him that he was not in a house where the host was plotting to claw the life out of him the moment he turned his back. It appeared to work for the most part. The two brothers steered very clear of each other for the entire day, something the girls expressed great relief over. The tension in the house dropped perceptibly, likely mostly because Sesshoumaru left periodically to search out clues as to Ashrem’s possible whereabouts.

Rin and Kagome had decided to pass away the boredom of the day, stuck inside while a downpour deluged the outside, by creating a nice dinner. The peacefulness of the dreary afternoon was often broken by loud bickering between Jaken and Inuyasha, who traded periodic insults with each other. It seemed Jaken felt compelled to remind the hanyou of his station as sub-youkai during the departure of his master, and Inuyasha appeared, on several occasions, to have to restrain himself from pulling Tessaiga on the ardent little retainer.

Rin solved this problem by shoving a plate of half-raw food under Jaken’s nose with a suggestion that he go eat somewhere else. He had accepted the dinner, but had stubbornly stationed himself across from the lounging half-demon, shoveling his mouth full of food while eyeing Inuyasha with a sullen expression. Even so, Rin’s plan had worked. As long as Jaken’s mouth was full, he wasn’t talking himself into an early grave.

Sesshoumaru returned from his outside ventures and, judging from his manner, Rin concluded that he had discovered very little about his enemy’s location. It was difficult to meet his gaze after the conversation of the night before. Having everything out in the open between them was as much a relief as it was horribly uncomfortable. He must have sensed her nervousness, because he made the concession to eat with them, something he rarely ever did.

Inuyasha, who had shown no interest in food that had been obtained and cooked within his brother’s house, had refused to join them at all…until Sesshoumaru agreed to do so. Only moments after the youkai lord had joined them at the table, Inuyasha left to rummage through Kagome’s backpack for a cup of ramen noodles. He then returned to them, sitting down defiantly in the space directly opposite Sesshoumaru, fixing him with a challenging stare, as though daring him to order him away from the meal.

With wordless irritation, Inuyasha grasped the container of hot tea from the table and poured it into the plastic cup of noodles before setting it back down. He resumed staring a hole through Sesshoumaru as he waited for the noodles to soften.

“Inuyasha … that was tea,” Kagome warned delicately.

“I don’t care. It’s hot … it’ll cook them.” After waiting a few moments, Inuyasha grabbed his chopsticks and began eagerly slurping away at the noodles, making Rin wonder if he had even had a decent meal in the past week.

To this point, Sesshoumaru had been ignoring the hanyou, but the noise of Inuyasha’s eating brought out his ire and he pierced Inuyasha with a look that would have wilted a cactus.

“It seems that Izayoi failed, among many things, to teach you how to eat properly in front of others,” he said, disdain dripping from every word.

Inuyasha paused his eating, bringing the cup down just enough to peer at his brother over the rim. “Yeah? Well, your mother should have concentrated less on your table manners and more on keeping from raising such a jerk. She must have thought you were something really special if she let you run around with all those self-delusions. She shoulda smacked some manners into you."

Kagome and Rin exchanged sick looks as the tension in the room began to build swiftly. It was like watching a sinking ship, and Rin's fingers gripped the table, as though physically holding it upright.

“If she had lived longer, then perhaps that would have occurred. Then again, if she had lived, your life would have ended before you would have been able to draw breath,” Sesshoumaru said with a slight, malicious smile. "A courtesy done to us all, most especially for Father, who would still be here."

"If you wanted him here so bad, you should've gotten off your ass and helped him," Inuyasha's words sliced across the table, tone turning sarcastic as he added around another mouthful of noodles, “And, you know, with a woman like that at home, I can’t imagine why Father decided to look elsewhere."

“Inuyasha, maybe we should---“ Kagome began, looking as though she was preparing to drag him bodily from the room, but she was cut off by Sesshoumaru’s icy words, a voice that rang of looming death.

“He did not “look elsewhere” until after her death, mutt. Then he satisfied himself with a long line of human whores, one right after the other, your mother being the last.”

“You must be suicidal, you ugly son of a bit ---!“

“Don’t finish that sentence, Inuyasha,” Sesshoumaru growled back.

“Please, stop this,” Rin pleaded, halfway rising out of her seat; it was unbearable listening to them speak this way. Really, she was finding that their physical fights were less stressful than this battle of horrible words. “Just eat.”

Inuyasha finally slammed the container of ramen back down on the table, looking as though he would like nothing more than to leap across the table. Before Kagome could think of anything to say to calm him down, the hanyou surged up from his seat, accidentally knocking his dinner onto the floor, splattering the noodle mixture all over the wooden boards. Rin and Kagome watched as he stormed out of the back of the house.

The room became quiet as a grave. Then, as if coming to a silent decision, Sesshoumaru got up swiftly and followed Inuyasha, reaching for Toukijin on his way outside. Moments later, the familiar sounds of cursing and clanging metal could be heard raucously echoing from the outdoors.

“They’re way too much alike,” Rin finally murmured, fighting the urge to plug her ears.

“In all the worst ways,” Kagome agreed with a sigh.