InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Rekindling ❯ Let You Go ( Chapter 2 )

Rekindling

Part II

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Let You Go

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I was happy just to be able to see you

I reminisce about our memories.

Although I waver and hold on to the past

I gotta let you go, I gotta let you go
As I still see your clear image my heart only longs for you

Inside my heart, you slowly fade away

I gotta let you go, I gotta let you go.

.

.

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"Oh my god," Sango groaned aloud, flopping onto her bed, dressed in nothing but her bra and underwear. "What am I doing? I must be crazy." She reached a hand over to the nightstand and felt around for her cell phone. "I need major help," she muttered, speed-dialing Kagome's number. She lifted the phone to her ear and closed her eyes, waiting for Kagome to pick up.

On the seventh ring, just as Sango was about to hang up, a slightly-out-of-breath male answered the phone. "Hello?" he said, wheezing.

"Inuyasha?" Sango said in amusement. "Sorry, I was trying to reach Kagome. I didn't mean to interrupt anything…"

"Shut up. Kagome's right here…um…hang on a sec-" it sounded like he was pressing his hand over the receiver of the phone. "Hey, bitch, get over here!"

"Don't call me that!" Kagome's voice could be heard in the background. "And what are you doing answering my phone, anyway?"

"It was ringing and you weren't answering it!"

"Did it ever occur to you that I might have had a reason for not answering?" she huffed. Her voice was clearer now. "Don't even think about it, mister," she said in a warning tone. There was rustling and jostling and then Kagome's voice came over clear. "Hello?"

"What were you two doing?"

"Playing tag," Kagome said innocently. "Sorry for not answering right away-I was on base, and if I got off, Inuyasha would have pounced me, and then I would have been it, and lord knows how hard it is to catch him."

"Uh huh." Sango smiled. "Just plain tag? Or was it strip tag?"

"Sango!" shrieked Kagome. "I cannot believe you just said that! You sounded like Miroku-" she stopped. "Aw, crap. I just said a 'no-no' word, didn't I? Sorry." She sighed. "So what's up?"

"I need help."

"With what?"

"Were you playing strip tag?"

"God, no! I don't even think that game exists."

"Of course it does. I think Miroku invented it."

"Heh, why doesn't that surprise me. And don't change the subject, why did you call? Wait-hang on-" the receiver was covered again-"What do you want, Inuyasha?...important? Can't it wait till I'm finished with this phone call?...so use a post-it! That's what they're for!" She came back to the phone again. "Sorry, Inuyasha claimed he had something important to tell me and threatened me with his failing memory. Men," she scoffed. "So anyway, Sango-chan, you needed something?"

"Yeah. A favor."

"Sure. What kind?"

"I need to find something to wear tonight. Something special. Something that we can find in less than two hours."

"Hot date?"

"Erm…" Sango twisted a strand of hair around her finger. "Sorta…"

"Whaaat? Are you serious? I was kidding, but spill all!"

"Heh heh, well it's actually a pretty funny story… I'm not sure you'll believe it…"

"Come on, tell me! Who is he? Is he from work?"

"Um…in a way…"

"Ohhh, this'll be fun. Okay-Kuranosuke?"

"Ugh, no! That man is sickeningly sweet."

"Sort of like Hojo?" Kagome said, giggling. Inuyasha could be heard yelling in the background: "Hobo?! What about him? What are you talking about, Kagome?!"

"Someone's jealous," Sango chuckled.

"Oh, it's good for him. It'll probably buy me dinner tonight, anyhow." The two women laughed together. "Um…Koga?"

"Oh, yeah right. Come on, Kagome, he's still hung up on you."

"Well, you never know…" "Dammit, woman, what are you guys talking about? What about that stupid wolf?"

"Wolf?"

"Yeah, Inuyasha came up with this weird analogy that Koga licks his chops like a rabid wolf every time I come in sight." Kagome sighed. "I'm all out of guesses, Sango. I mean, it can't be Sesshomaru-" "Sesshomaru? What the hell are you two talking about?!"-"or-oh god-please, not Naraku?"

"…Please…please tell me you're joking."

"Oh good. I don't know-just tell me!"

Sango was suddenly regretting calling Kagome. She should have just gone out and bought something on her own. Or borrowed something from her neighbor. "What's that noise?" she said, grasping at any change of subject.

"Huh? Oh, it's Inuyasha's cell phone. He has the most annoying ring tone I've ever heard. Stop dodging the question: who is it?"

"Well, it's um…it's your boyfriend's best friend."

"Inuyasha's?"

"How many boyfriends do you have?" teased Sango.

"Oh hush. Just-I don't think Inuyasha has a best friend…do you, Inuyasha?" There was mumbling in the background. "He says his best friend is-um-the 'M' word. That doesn't work. I need a better clue, Sango."

"You just figured it out."

…

Kagome laughed. "You're joking, right? Miroku? Last I'd heard, you hadn't seen him in eight years. Very funny, Sango. You probably didn't even know he's back in Tokyo."

"Oh, I know all right. I was stuck in an elevator with him for an hour."

There was a very pregnant pause on the other side. "What? What?! You-he-that lecher better not have tried anything! Wait-and now you're going out to dinner with him?! Sango, have you lost your mind! Inuyasha, go away! I'm in the middle of a conversation! Sango, I-hang on." It sounded like Kagome and Inuyasha were arguing at the top of their lungs.

Inuyasha suddenly came to the phone. "Sango? Kagome won't listen to me, but Miroku just called-he's heading over to your place now."

"He's what?!" Sango sat up so fast that spots danced before her eyes. "But we agreed to meet at a café in about-" she checked her watch-"an hour and a half!"

"Nevertheless…"

"How did he get my address, anyway?" she snapped, not believing the turn of events.

"Um…well…I sorta gave it to him…"

"You what?" she growled, twisting the bed's comforter in her fist.

"Hey, he wheedled it out of me!" Inuyasha protested. "You know how he is!"

"I can't believe this!" Kagome raged in the background.

"It's okay, Inuyasha, I understand," Sango said wearily, running a hand over her eyes, and inevitably smearing her mascara. "Ah, crap-"

"What's the matter?"

"Nothing. I'd better get dressed before the pervert starts peeking in my windows… Tell Kagome thanks anyway and that I'll call her with all the details later tonight."

"Will do. Have fun tonight."

"Yeah…right…" She snapped her phone shut and collapsed backwards on the bed again. "What the hell am I doing…?"

.

.

The doorbell jolted Sango out of her sleep. "What…?" She flipped over on her stomach and blinked her eyes until the numbers on her digital clock came into focus. Six o'clock? Already?! Oh my god, I must have fallen asleep! She rubbed her eyes and jumped off the bed, swaying slightly as she ran towards her closet. That fifteen-minute nap had done nothing to alleviate her fatigue. Why did I agree to this dinner date again?

Oh that's right. I'm still in love with my boyfriend from my senior year in high school.

Yup, I'm out of my mind.

The doorbell rang again.

Crap, that's probably Miroku.

"Just a minute!" Sango shouted, pawing through her drawers to find a suitable outfit to wear. "Oh for…forget it, I'll just throw something on, invite him in and sit him on the couch with a drink, and then come in here to change." She pulled a tee shirt and a pair of jean shorts out of her dresser drawer that was shoved into her closet, pulled them on, pushed her hair out of her face, and ran to the door.

In the duration of these actions, the doorbell rang a total of three times.

"You always were impatient," muttered Sango, hurriedly turning the locks. She threw open the door and glared at a smiling Miroku. "You're forty-five minutes early."

"I know," he said, the smile not leaving his face. "I thought I'd take you shopping."

"H-huh?"

"I figured you'd work yourself into a frazzled state over what to wear and how to do your hair; so it occurred to me that we could avoid that problem by simply going shopping together. How's that sound?"

"Uhh…" Boy, wasn't she Miss Eloquent today. "Um, sure, that's fine… I guess-um, you want to come in?"

"Sure." He stepped inside and took in her apartment. He whistled. "Nice place you got here."

She shrugged. "It suits me." She kept her gaze trained on the wall, fingering the frayed edges on her cutoffs. Miroku hadn't changed out of his business suit, although he had ditched the jacket and tie. The sunglasses remained, however. She looked down at her outfit and winced. "Um, can I get you something to drink?"

"Water, please."

She met his gaze. "Water? What happened to your soda addiction?"

He shrugged, grinning a little. "I'm trying to wean myself off of it."

His hair was down. Lord, he looked good. Back in high school, it was usually swept into a low ponytail… why had he worn it down tonight?

To seduce her, probably.

…

It was working.

She nearly ran into the kitchen to get him his water. Why, why, why am I doing this? she asked herself for the thousandth-no, millionth-time. He can't possibly still care about me. Why did he even ask me to dinner? To catch up? I'll be this is nothing more than a "friends" date. She gave a small laugh. Knowing Miroku, he probably has another date lined up tomorrow. She jerked the faucet on and sprayed herself with water.

"God…bless…it." Sango forced herself to breathe. This time, she slowly turned on the faucet and filled Miroku's glass with a tiny stream of water.

When she finally emerged from the kitchen, half-covered in water and her hands shaking, she found him studying the pictures mounted on her wall. "Here's your water," she said, keeping her distance from him.

He turned and smiled. "Thanks." He looked towards the picture he was studying. "Who is this?"

"Hmm?" Crap, now she'd have to go join him. She stepped closer. "Oh, that's Rin and Kanna. They're identical twins…only Kanna turned out to be an albino. Weird, huh? Rin is Kohaku's girlfriend. She's adorable."

She was babbling again. Miroku was making her nervous. She held out the water to him. "Here."

He grasped the glass and took a sip. "My thanks, Sango." His eyes held hers, and she looked away after a moment. "Um…I guess I should go get dressed."

"You're fine in that. You're just going to be stuffing those clothes in the trunk of my car, anyhow."

"So we're going straight to the restaurant after shopping?" Sango asked, a little annoyed that he already had everything figured out-without her consent.

"We don't have much time."

"Yeah, I suppose that's true," she muttered. "You win. Let's go. As long as you don't mind your date looking like she just rolled out of bed."

"Sango, you look beautiful," Miroku returned seriously. "You could never look like you just rolled out of bed."

She shot him a glance. "Flattery will get you no where."

"Oh no?" He smiled. "You're blushing."

His words made her flush harder. "I am not!"

Miroku squeezed her arm gently, then turned and walked to the door. "Let's go. We don't have much time."

"We're taking your car?"

"What kind of gentleman would I be if I let the lady drive?"

So chivalry still exists. Amazing. "Whatever, Houshi. Let's just go." And get this over with.

.

.

Sango stopped short as Miroku pushed the unlock button on his key-ring and the lights on the black BMW in front of them flashed.

"You have a BMW?" A far cry from her modest Toyota Corolla.

"Mmhm. Thought the car should match my suits." He winked at her. "I have a beat-up old 1986 Honda Civic that I drive if I don't want to be recognized, though."

"Do you really," Sango murmured as she climbed into the passenger's seat. She felt out of place in her jeans and tee-shirt. "So the plan is to find me something to wear, and then on to dinner?"

"Yup." Miroku turned on the ignition and pulled out of the parking space. "Seat belt, Sango."

"Huh?" She jolted out of her thoughts and looked down. "Oh…right…" She buckled up and shot Miroku, who was laughing, an annoyed look. "And just what is so humorous?"

"Nothing." He valiantly tried to pull a straight face, but was not successful. "It's just I always maintained the image of you following all rules, avoiding all trouble… and now here you are breaking the law without any guilt whatsoever."

"Oh yeah? Well, I download music off the internet, go 50 in 30 mph zones, and park in handicapped spaces. What say you to that?"

He winked at her. "You're hardly a criminal. Looks like my image of you wasn't too skewed."

"Keep your eyes on the road, Miroku!"

He compliantly turned away and stomped on the break. "What other secrets haven't you told me?"

"I don't know. It's not like I have a set repertoire."

He smiled. "Still have a ready retort. That'll never change."

"I hope not. I'm guessing your past girlfriends let you get away with murder?"

"Of course not!"

"Heh, yeah, right," she muttered to herself, resuming her activity of staring out the window. "Where are we going, Miroku? It can't be too expensive-I haven't cashed in my paycheck yet. And no," she said when she caught that look in his eyes, "you are not paying for it. Whatever I end up getting."

"But Sango-" he protested.

"No. I'm assuming you're paying for dinner?"

"Of course."

"All right then. It's split even."

He shot her a dry look. "Why are you being so obstinate?"

Why, indeed? What am I trying to prove? That I'm not a helpless? That I am able to live without him? "My nature, I guess," she finally said. "Has that changed too?"

He shrugged. "Can't remember. But then, back then, you weren't afraid of me."

"What's that supposed to mean?" snapped Sango, tearing her eyes from the window.

"I was hoping you'd tell me. You seem on edge around me. Do I make you nervous? It's just a friend's date."

She looked down at her shoes. Yes, that's what's set me on edge. You don't need me at all. This is just another date to you-I'm just another woman. She drew in a soft breath and released it. "Yes. Just a friend's date. I'm not nervous."

Yeah, now she sounded retarded. Not a marked improvement.

"Right," he said quietly.

.

.

She was scared of him. He could see it in her eyes. Miroku let out a sigh as he raced to beat a yellow light.

"Miroku! Idiot, do you know how many accidents are caused by yellow-light chasers?"

He shot her a grin. "Do you want to make our reservations or not?"

"Better late than never," she shot back, quick as ever.

He smiled to himself. It didn't surprise him that she became a translator. She was always good with words.

Except when she tried to lie. Then her tongue got all knotted.

A sigh rose within his chest and he let it out inaudibly. She was afraid of him-or maybe just apprehensive. Her actions said that she still had feelings for him-but she was desperately trying to push them away. He winced, recalling her words from earlier that afternoon. "I haven't dated because I'm paranoid now. But when I actually get up the courage to date someone else…I know it'll be because I have total faith in them." He'd hurt her more than he realized.

His actions had hurt them both.

Miroku let his mind wander, contemplating what could have been. They could have dated, gone to the community college together, gotten married…

He frowned. If he hadn't gone to college in the US, if he hadn't had the opportunities that had arisen… would he be the successful businessman he was today? Would he have been able to support Sango?

He rolled a shoulder. No time to be thinking about the past, boy. It's over and done with. Focus on the present now…like how to make Sango open up to you…

"MIROKU! WATCH IT! BRAKE, BRAKE-!"

He jerked out of dreamland and saw nothing but red lights. "Damn it-!" He stomped on the brake, but the car kept rolling. He jerked the wheel to the side, hoping to avoid a collision-

He heard the screeching of horns and the squeals of tires. His car came to a shuddering halt, and he heard a sickening crunch. Miroku slowly turned around and looked out of the back window, expecting to see a car on top of his trunk…

But instead saw two cars with steaming engines piled on top of each other behind him and another's front wrapped around a light post. His car was halfway on the sidewalk. Pedestrians were openly gaping at the pile-up.

He glanced over at Sango, whose face was as white as a sheet; her breathing was coming out in ragged breaths.

"Miroku," she said, her voice shaking, "you almost got us killed."

He rested his head against the wheel. "Actually," he said, smiling devilishly, "you almost got us killed."

"Me?! What the hell-?"

"Language, Sango!" he laughed. "The reason I drifted off into dreamland was because I was thinking of you. Doesn't that theoretically make the accident your fault?"

"Tell that to the police," she huffed, turning around to look at the vehicles from whence the sirens originated.

His smile faltered a little. "What was that you said again? 'Better late than never'?"

.

.

"I'm guessing," Sango drawled. "That we missed our reservations?"

"By about two hours," answered Miroku, checking his watch. He ran a hand through his hair and looked around the police station. "Let's get out of here before they think of something else to question us about."

"Good idea." She looped her arm through his and led him out of the station and into the dusky Tokyo sky. "It's twilight."

"Twilight?" Miroku smiled. " 'Sunset' isn't good enough for you?"

"But it's not sunset," she argued. "The sun is already down, but there's still some light in the sky. It's twilight."

"Whatever you say, Lady Sango."

She cracked her neck and looked down the street. "At least your car is still intact."

"Wish I could say that much about my bank account."

"Oh please. I bet in two weeks you make twice that fee you just paid."

He looked at her out of the corner of his eye. "I'm rich, yes, but not that rich."

She smiled, not knowing quite how to respond to his humble-but-not-quite statement. "I'm guessing there's no point in going shopping now?"

"Probably not. Are you getting hungry?"

"A little; mostly from all the excitement. There's a park not far from here; what do you say we find a hot dog vendor and eat dinner there?"

"That," he said, "is the best idea I've heard all night."

A small park was situated not too far away from the police section; since it was a major business area, the designers of the square figured they'd make a place for businessmen to take a break from work and get a change of scenery. As the city built up around the area, some apartment buildings sprung up, and the park became a place for school kids to play after school and businessmen to lunch during the week.

Miroku and Sango strolled down the sidewalk, arm-in-arm, ignoring the odd looks that were sent their way. They did make a rather strange sight: Sango in her cut-offs, tee-shirt, and flip flops, her hair billowing down her back, and Miroku in work slacks, dress shoes, and a long, button-down shirt.

"Maybe I should take this shirt off so I could match your style," he suggested.

"And walk around shirtless."

"Of course not-I have my undershirt."

"Let's just hope you don't meet any work colleagues."

He shrugged. "They wouldn't recognize me without the sunglasses and with my hair down."

"Not too close to anyone?"

"Except Inuyasha," he corrected.

"Hmm." Sango had expected him to have dozens of friends, what with his charismatic personality.

"Does that surprise you?"

Dang. Him and his ability to read her. "Some."

"Why?"

"Well…in high school, you always had a crowd of people surrounding you. You were never lacking in a buddy to go jog around the track, or someone to accompany you to the office-"

"They were just acquaintances," he said. "I didn't really have any close friends besides you and Kagome. Maybe Haachi. That's why I was really surprised at how close Inuyasha and I became in college. You were my best friend before. It was weird having a guy that I could count on-we could go check out chicks or leave our dirty underwear all over the dorm-"

"Ew, more than I wanted to know." Sango wrinkled her nose.

Miroku made a face at her. The wind ruffled his hair and Sango's heart skipped a beat. She quickly looked away. "So, do you see a hot dog vendor anywhere?"

He made a point of looking right to left. "Nope. Looks like our streak of bad luck is holding."

"Bad luck?"

Miroku began to tick off on his fingers. "One, the elevator breaks down. Two, you miss your lunch meeting. Three, I miss an important briefing with my boss. Four, we get in a car accident and consequently miss our dinner together. Five, we can't find a hot dog vendor anywhere in sight."

"Oh yeah? I think I'll count off all our good luck." She mimicked Miroku, ticking off on her fingers. "One, the elevator breaks down and we are stranded together, the situation forcing us to re-meet. Two, I miss my lunch meeting and have to call Inuyasha; this enables you to obtain my phone number. Three, you miss an important briefing that you probably didn't want to attend anyway. Four, we get in an accident and miss our dinner together, but are now strolling along the sidewalks in search of hotdogs, which I enjoy much more than I would a stuffy restaurant. Five-there's a vendor right over there." She quirked him a grin. "See, Houshi? It's all how you see the glass."

Miroku slid an arm around her waist and tickled her a bit. "You win. Race you to the hot dog stand-loser has to pick up the tab."

"Hey!" Sango shouted as he took off running. She took off behind him, still yelling. "Whatever happened to chivalry?!"

.

.

"Cheater," Sango grumbled as she slathered her hot dog in ketchup and mustard. "You did that on purpose."

"Of course I did." Miroku grinned cheekily, the sun reflecting off his tan, muscular chest. "And it worked, didn't it?"

Sango shot him an icy glare. "That was low, Hamaguchi, very low."

She received a devastating smile in reply. Pretending to be mad, she looked away. That stupid hentai had pulled of his shirt right when she was about to catch up to him and touch the cart. Caught off guard by the sight of his bare chest, she faltered for a moment, giving him the chance to tag the vending cart and therefore win the race.

Miroku poked her in the side. "Since when did you start gloping condiments onto your dogs?"

"I've eaten wieners like this since I was six, Houshi; get a clue."

"Really?" He squinted at her.

"And what's with that plain hot dog?" she asked, nodding to his dinner. "It looks so…naked."

"I'm a purist," he proclaimed.

Sango snorted. "Whatever works for you, buddy."

"Yes ma'am. Now what do you say we stroll around the park and dine on this feast?"

"Sounds good to me." She took a bite of her meal and smiled. "Mmm. Just the way I remember them."

Miroku, on the other hand, was not enjoying his food as much as Sango was. "Ugh. I can almost taste the fat and grease."

"Oh, lighten up. It won't hurt you if you eat them sporadically."

"I vaguely recalling hearing the same thing about drugs," he said under his breath.

"Are you implying that I'm addicted?"

"No-I was just making a comparison…eh…never mind." Sango was shooting daggers at him.

"That's better." She smiled and moved so that their arms were almost brushing as they walked.

"How far is this park again?"

"Just in front of us," Sango said, amused. "See those leafy green things up there? Yeah, those would be called trees. Don't see 'em much outside parks anymore."

"Smart aleck. I feel like every time I open my mouth, I'm shot to the ground with your words."

"Oh!" A hand flew over her mouth. "I'm sorry, Miroku. I meant it all in fun-back then we would always banter and…I'm sorry, I had no idea I would offend you-"

"Sango!" He grabbed her arms, discarding his hot dog to the ground. "Calm down. It wasn't a serious statement. You're fine; you were just acting comfortable. I'm sorry I suggested otherwise."

"Oh," she said lamely, biting her lip. "Sorry for overreacting, then…"

He gave her a tender smile. "You don't have to apologize."

"Oh." Now she was sounding like a redundant parrot. "Okay. Sor-" She stopped, becoming frustrated. "Are we going to that park or not?!"

"Yes ma'am." He looped his arm through hers and steered her towards the greenery.

Sango sighed. That uncomfortable barrier was up again. Every time they started to slip back into their relaxed normalcy…something had to happen.

.

.

Miroku was mentally kicking himself. Just when she was starting to let her guard down, to begin to tap into her old feelings, her old familiarity with him-he had to go ruin it with that idiotic comment. Smooth move, Hamaguchi. He didn't know how he was going to get her off her uncomfortable ledge now.

They walked for a few moments in silence. They were almost to the entrance of the park before Sango spoke.

"Why are you doing this?"

Her question caught him off guard. "Doing what?"

"This. The 'friendship date.' Is it for old-time's sake, or what?"

He gave her a look. Was she really so…oblivious? "Sango. I missed you. You don't know how many times over the years I wished I could talk to you, see you, even engage in a five-minute phone call…"

"Then why didn't you?"

"Why didn't I what?"

"Call. You had my number."

"When you were still living at home. I actually did try and call…once or twice a year I think. Lady Fate was not smiling on me. The first time I called, Kohaku answered and hung up on me. I guess I'd left a bad impression in their minds."

She was silent, her cheeks a bit flushed. Miroku suspected that her little brother had snooped through her diary, just like he always did, and inadvertently stumbled over a Miroku-bashing session.

"And the second time?" she asked.

"Kagome answered while you were in the shower. And I was on a calling card I was using only had three minutes left on it. I told her to tell you I said hello…"

Sango snorted.

"I'm guessing that was one message that was never relayed."

"Dead on."

He sighed. "I'm sorry, Sango."

"No. I am. If I hadn't made such a big deal out of things, maybe my friends and family wouldn't have hated you so much."

He shrugged. "Can't say I didn't deserve it."

She didn't deny it.

They entered the park together and strolled around in silence for a bit. Sango was picking at the hot dog bun and flicking little scraps of it to the pigeons that hopped across the sidewalk. Hop, hop, hop, Miroku thought. Sort of like what I'm doing-hoping on stones floating in a pool of lava-though it looks like I just fell in.

"So," he finally said. "Tell me about your work." Lame, lame. But it was something. And work was guaranteed to start a conversation.

Sango shot him a knowing look, but humored him. "Well, I'm a translator, as you know. Inuyasha is my immediate boss, although above him is Hakudoushi-"

"Who?"

"Hakudoushi. This little slip of a kid; he's eighteen and an absolute genius, but he tends to be rather demeaning to Inuyasha, which drives our friend absolutely insane…"

Miroku chuckled. "Inuyasha is a control-freak."

"I've noticed."

"So you translate news articles from papers in Korea and China?"

"Basically. I don't actually pick out which articles to translate-Inuyasha does that for me-but I translate them. It takes me a few hours to do two or three articles short articles."

"You do this all day?"

"Mmhm."

He shook his head. "And you enjoy this?"

"Actually, yes I do," she said coolly.

He mentally slapped himself. This wasn't the old Sango, who would let comments like that roll off her back. This was the defensive, uneasy Sango… how was it that he could slip back into the groove of their old relationship so easily, but she tried with all her might to keep her distance? "Sango, I was being facetious."

"I noticed."

"I'm sorry?"

"You're forgiven."

Curses. This was ridiculous. There was once a time when they were best friends, when she wouldn't have hesitated to tell him what she really thought-heck, she called him a "baka hentai" and "stupid" more often than she called him "honey" or such pet names. Which made those rare moments even more sweeter.

He sighed and kicked at a stray stone in the pathway. A slight breeze rustled the trees' leaves and the warmness of the wind brought a wistful smile to his face as he recalled the afternoons the two of them would spend studying. Miroku sighed. Why was he holding onto the past like a stubborn miser? He'd dated Sango for a total of one year-he dated scores of women in college, and had once thought that Maria was his true love. But… he wasn't able to go through with the idea of a wedding. He couldn't see himself at her side for the rest of his life. And the worst part was-

Every time he kissed Maria, Sango's face would fill his mind.

It was horrible, he knew. Maybe the reason he had taken the relationship so far was to try and get Sango's image out of his head. He felt like…like the worst kind of player for leading Maria on that way… but it had been an amicable parting in the end. Right? Maria hadn't cried when he told her he wanted to call off the engagement. He explained that it wasn't her, it was totally him, he wasn't ready for a commitment this big, et cetera, et cetera. Maria had actually taken the news very well; she'd only asked for a goodbye kiss in return. The kiss had gotten rather passionate-oddly enough, it was the only time that Sango's image hadn't popped up in his head. He liked to think of it as his parting favor to Maria; at least he'd devoted himself to her that one time.

He scowled slightly. Why was he even trying to reestablish his relationship with Sango? What exactly was he looking for? True love? The relationship they'd once had? He knew he could never get that back; it just wasn't possible to turn back time. He'd hurt her too much, he'd changed to much. It was impossible to go back.

So why was he here? Surely he wasn't trying to be "friends" again. He'd never done that with any of his other girlfriends.

Then again, he'd never had the same kind of relationship with any of his other girlfriends.

Sango was…special. She was pretty (he thought she was gorgeous), she was brilliant, she wasn't afraid of putting him in his place, she was protective of friends of family… but then, all those other girls he dated had most of those qualities. So what was it about Sango that attracted him to her?

He glanced towards her and found her smiling at the antics of a few schoolboys playing football° on the grass, their joyful shouts filling the park.

"They look so carefree," she said. "Sometimes I wish I was that young again and I didn't have all these adult problems to worry about."

Like me, for instance? "Yeah."

"I mean, back then your biggest worry was if your mom packed you another one of those icky tuna fish sandwiches for lunch, or if your best friend would try to take your favorite purple crayon at coloring time." She laughed a little. "Kids are so funny."

You want any?

"Kohaku used to play football, you know. You were his hero back then, since you were the school football star and all."

Miroku managed a smile, albeit strained. "Yeah."

"Did you play any in college?" she asked.

"Not much. I wasn't on the UCLA team, but I did play on the practice fields for fun from time to time."

"Ah."

A silence came over them again, only this one was apparently uncomfortable. Both Miroku and Sango fumbled for a topic, trying in vain to find something to talk about…

Finally Sango started giggling. Miroku shot her a curious look, but that only made her laugh harder.

"What's the matter?" he finally asked.

"Us," she managed to choke out. "This is so-imbecilic! We're stepping on eggshells around each other because we're afraid of what the other will think, and we're not even enjoying ourselves."

Miroku chuckled a bit, but failed to see the humor in the situation.

"I mean," Sango rambled on, "it's obvious that we can never go back to what we had-so why can't we just accept that and move on, enjoying the friendship that we have?"

Is she speaking for herself? Or is she trying to tell me something more? "Sango…is that what you really want?"

"It's not about what we want, Miroku," she snapped. "It's about reality. 'You can't go back home again.' You can't base a relationship on what you knew years and years ago: I'm different now! You've changed, as well! We'd both be expecting to be dating the person we knew back then-but we'd both be disappointed."

Miroku frowned. "I think you're taking this to the extremity, Sango. Who said anything about dating?"

She immediately flushed red. "Well-I…I assumed that-since…" She huffed and turns her head away. "You mean you…never mind."

"No, what were you going to say?"

"It doesn't matter."

Her head was averted, but Miroku could see the sad planes lining her face. He gently reached out and touched her shoulder. "Sango."

She shrugged his hand away.

"Sango, I didn't say anything about dating because I thought I might be moving to fast. But now, since you've brought it up, I think we should discuss-"

"Let it go, Miroku," she said, a quaver in her voice. "Thank you. For waking me up from my fairytale world. For reminding me that I shouldn't assume things concerning you."

"Hey, now, no need to get personal," he said, his brow furrowed in displeasure.

"Whatever." She turned and started to walk in the other direction.

"Sango!" He grabbed her shoulder and spun her around again. "What's the matter?"

"You!" she nearly screeched. "You, Miroku! Have you no consideration for my feelings? How can you just-argh-what am I to you?" she demanded. "Just tell me that. And what is the purpose of this so-called date? You call me, ask me to go on a 'friend's date', lead me on, and then tell me that I'm going too far by considering dating?" She shook her head. "I don't get you."

He gently rubbed her shoulders. "I wanted to see what you were thinking," he explained quietly. "I wanted to know if-" he cut off, as if thinking better of his words, then shrugged and continued: "if I had a chance with you."

"You had a chance eight years ago and blew it."

"So you don't believe in second chances?"

"Not if you blow the first one as royally as you did!"

"That's not quite fair."

"You broke my heart once; who's to say you won't do it again?"

Sango's blatant words hung between them, as Miroku stared at her, silent and contemplating, Sango staring back, her breathing erratic and her eyes reflecting anger and hurt.

All he could think of was how beautiful she was and how much he wanted her to know…

Know how much he loved her…

.

.

His lips were upon hers before she knew what was happening. Sango's eyes flew open wide before automatically closing. She melted into the kiss, her arms slipped onto his shoulders and his tightened around her waist. This felt so right-she'd been missing this for so long. The taste of his lips upon hers…

No. No, this wasn't right. He didn't love her, he was just responding to his emotions and his lecherous instinct. She was just another woman.

Tears were slipping down her cheeks. She had to pull away; had to detached herself before she got in to deep. Heaven help her, she still loved him. One kiss and she was ready to throw away her long-saved virginity-

She was lonely. She was still young, but going to three of her friend's weddings (participating in two of them) had taken its toll. She wanted a relationship, she wanted a husband, she wanted someone to talk to in the middle of the night, or to cuddle up with when it was raining, or someone to have popcorn fights with.

She wanted Miroku.

Ironically enough, he was the one man that she couldn't get.

She regretfully, yet forcefully pulled herself out of his embrace and averted her gaze, aware of her flushed cheeks and shimmering eyes. Like she'd said, they weren't the same people. She was just another conquest-another token to add to his collection of memories. "No, Miroku."

"What do you mean 'no'?" He sounded annoyed.

"I mean, no. You're too risky-I could end up hurt."

"Risky?" He laughed. "Take a look in the mirror, Sango. I try to take you on a date, only to find that you're on edge the whole time, just waiting for me to mess up so you can have an excuse to leave. I'm sorry for my past actions-don't make them the basis for your image of me now."

She flushed. "You just don't get it, do you? I can't trust myself around you. You're the only man I've ever loved, but you continue to lead me on and let me down." She pulled in a breath. "I'm on a precipice-I don't trust my emotions. One false step and I can fall in."

"Sango…" He dipped his head down again, their lips meeting once again. "I'm trying to show you-"

"How hard it is for you to resist a female?" She slapped him. Hard.

Miroku stumbled back a bit, his face registering shock. She could almost read his thoughts. "She slapped me?"

"Bastard. I was willing to give you another chance-but it looks like all you're interested in is merely physical." She turned and ran towards the entrance of the park. She'd pick up a taxi and find her way home, indulging herself in a late night movie and some Italian ice cream to soothe her wounded heart.

She made it to the outside gate before she realized that Miroku hadn't followed her.

And she didn't have her cell phone.

The tears were slipping down faster now.

.

.

Sango fumbled around her pockets, searching for her keys. She swiped at her eyes, trying to clear her vision long enough to chose the right key. She'd received many strange looks as she ran through the lobby of her building, her hair in her face, her eyes all puffy and red. Her neighbors all knew her as the sensible, practical woman who makes a good living as a translator. If Sango dated, Sango was rational and unemotional about it. But then, Sango didn't really date. Sango was the girl everyone came to when they realized their boyfriends were lying skunks or if a man had broken their heart. Sango would serve them up a cup of hot Chamomile tea and sit them down on the couch, letting the blubbering fools spill their problems.

Who was going to sit her down on the couch and console this weepy mess of a woman?

Sango jammed her key in the door and turned the lock. Nothing happened. She squinted at the key. Oops. That was her office key. She tried another. Oh, that was the key to Kagome's apartment. She was probably doing something with Inuyasha now.

Sango burst into a fresh round of sobbing. Inuyasha had made her think of Miroku, and now… damn that man! He'd turned her into a complete wreck.

She gave up trying to open her door and slid down to the floor, pulling her knees up to her chin, and weeping into her crossed arms.

Somewhere in the back of her mind, she heard the door next to hers open and footsteps emerge. But she was so caught up in her misery that these senses didn't register until someone put their arms around her and pulled her close. Sango startled and looked up into the face of her new protector. A look of recognition passed over her features and she rested her head on her savior's shoulder and sobbed her heart out.

.

.

"Now, Sango, that your little fit of weeping has passed, why don't you tell me the whole story."

Sango took a sip of Chamomile tea and leaned back onto the soft surface of her next-door-neighbor's couch. "I love your furniture, you know."

"Yes, you've told me. Many times. Ironic, considering you helped me pick it out."

"Oh yeah…"

"Remember when first realized that salesman was stalking us, and not just because he was worried about commission? I thought you were going to practice your self-defense skills right then and there and-hey, no fair changing the subject!"

Sango smiled, and took another sip of tea. Rin was so easy to distract. But that's what made her so adorable. "But Rin-chan, I really don't want to discuss my feelings."

"Oh no you don't, Little Miss I-think-I'll-go-to-pieces-and-scare-my-neighbor-to-death. What were you doing bawling your eyes out outside your door, with the keys in your hand? I have never seen you this distraught!"

"Oh?" Sango raised an eyebrow.

"That's not fair," Rin huffed, sinking into an armchair opposite from Sango's seat on the couch. "You can recompose yourself much to quickly. If the red puffiness just died down, I wouldn't even suspect that five minutes ago you were on the verge of a nervous breakdown."

"Gee, thanks."

"Since I have never, in all of my three years of knowing you, seen you cry, I want to know what happened. Was it that insensitive boss of yours?"

Sango snorted. "Inuyasha could never make me cry. If he did, Kagome would pummel him faster than I could say 'sit, boy.'"

"Was it that creepy copier man that's always staring at you? He tried to make a move on you, didn't he?"

"Don't be ridiculous. I run in the opposite direction whenever he gets in a five-foot radius of me."

"Smart girl. He weirds me out."

"Me too. Especially with those red eyes of his. And that laugh. 'Ku ku ku,'" she imitated.

Rin shivered. "Don't do that!"

"Sorry."

"Is it a man, though? I thought that you'd sworn them off after that bastard a few years ago."

"No, I swore them off my senior year in high school. The rest were times when I foolishly let my guard down."

"Bitter."

"You'd better believe it."

"So it wasn't a man?"

"I didn't say that."

Rin straightened in her chair. "So it was a man."

Sango suddenly found the nesting pigeon outside the window extremely fascinating. "Wow, is that a pigeon? That one looks really rare."

"Who was it?" Rin pressed. When Rin was determined to drag information out of a person, there was no deterring her.

"You don't know him."

"That's what they all say. Have you dated him before?"

"Yes."

"Kuransuke?"

"Why does everyone jump to that conclusion? The guy may be crazy for me, but I can't stand him."

"Geez, no false humility there."

"It's the truth," said Sango defensively.

"Point," Rin conceded. "All right. Continue please. Who is this bastard that broke your heart?"

Sango scowled. "My heart's not broken."

"Uh-huh, right. And I'm the reincarnation of that brat who followed the Lord of the Western lands around."

"The…what?"

"Feudal history. There was this little girl way back when with my name. I like to think that we're related."

"Uh…ok…" Rin was a bit eccentric. If she wasn't so sweet, Sango would be uneasy about letting her brother date the woman.

"It was Miroku-san, wasn't it?" Rin suddenly said.

"Huh? No! I mean-no…" Sango winced. "Dammit."

"Ha!" Rin crowed. "Gotcha!"

"Caught me off guard," mumbled Sango, twisting a strand of hair around her finger.

"So, this is the man that started all your problems?"

"Yeah."

"I thought you didn't know where he was living."

"Apparently he's been in Tokyo for two years now, but I just never knew it."

"So…what happened? Did the mere sight of him send you into tears?"

Sango laughed a little. "No. I'm not that weak. We got stuck in those evil elevators yesterday…he didn't recognize me, actually."

"What!"

She shrugged. "It's been a long time…"

"That's no excuse! You recognized him."

"Yeah, well, he figured things out eventually. Anyhow, he asked me to dinner today-"

"And you accepted?"

"Yes, but we never made it. We kinda got into a car crash-"

"An accident? Sango, what the hell is going on here?"

"So we decided to go for a walk in the park. We were talking and then…I dunno how exactly this happened, but we ended up kissing…"

"You what?" Rin shrieked.

"Then-" dammit, she was crying again-"I ran away. Because he doesn't love me. I'm just another conquest for him-or maybe he went out with me for old time's sake."

"That…that…bastard!"

"Yes, Rin, I think you've said that already."

"He went out with you for old time's sake?"

"Well…I don't know for sure. That's just speculation."

"Right," Rin huffed. "I bet you're right. From everything you've told me, he doesn't sound like the kind of guy you want to be dating."

Now Sango felt bad for bashing him. "But he does have his good points-he's sweet, sensitive, um, loyal…"

Rin eyed Sango critically. "You're in love with him, aren't you?"

"No!"

"You are. Why else would you be defending him?"

"Because I…oh, I don't know! What the hell is love anyway?"

Rin sighed and propped her feet up on the coffee table. "Now that is a good question. From what I can tell, though, love is when you like a person so much it hurts. When you're away from him for more than a day and you begin to go crazy. When your heart still leaps every time he calls you, even though you've been dating him for a couple of years. When just setting eyes on him gives you the vapors." Her voice grew soft and dreamy. "When you can't imagine living without him." Now it was Rin's turn to stare out the window.

Sango said nothing. She really is in love with my brother, isn't she?

When Rin finally came out of her reverie she questioned, "So, Sango, do you love this man?"

"I don't know. I just don't know."

"Do any of those things apply to you?"

"They all do," she admitted brokenly. "It's been eight years and I still can't get him off my mind! I was so happy when I saw him again in the elevator…and then he didn't recognize me. He took me on a date-albeit a friend's date-and then he kissed me and I was about to die of happiness… but I knew it wasn't real. It was just lust. Miroku loves a new woman every week."

"So, wait…why did you run away?"

Sango sighed. "Because I was scared. Scared of him. Scared of myself. Afraid I'd let him go too far, and afraid he'd leave me again. I couldn't stand to be hurt again-I don't think my heart can take it."

"Sango," Rin soothed, leaving her chair to come sit next to her. "If you love him, then running away is probably hurting you more."

"But what if he does leave me again?" Sango cried.

"He can't leave you if you never get together."

"Exactly. If we don't get together, I'm safe."

"That's not the point," Rin scolded. "If you don't get together, you'll never be happy."

Sango stared at her.

"Am I right?"

The brown-eyed translator looked away. "So you think I should get back together with him?"

Rin shrugged. "That's for you to decide. In my opinion, he sounds like a low-life, two-timing bastard that's unworthy of your love…but if he holds your heart, he must have some good in him."

Sango nodded mutely.

"Tell you what," Rin sad, "why don't I call Sesshomaru-sama and ask his opinion? He's really very wise and he'll tell you exactly what he thinks, regardless of how it's going to sound."

"Sesshomaru?" repeated Sango.

"My guardian." Rin nodded in a childlike way. "He raised me after he saw me in an orphanage he donated some money to. I wasn't very nice to him. I was running from the cook because I had stolen some cookies, only I wasn't looking where I was going, so I crashed headlong into his legs. The mother of the orphanage was horrified-because he was the biggest donator towards the place-and she told me to go to my room immediately and forget about coming to supper that night. I, being only five, mind you, cussed her out and yelled some choice words at Sesshomaru-sama as well. Lucky for me, he wasn't even offended-actually, he was amused! So he adopted me then and there…and here I am today!" She beamed.

Sango's eyes had glazed over somewhere in the middle of Rin's rapid-fire story, but she did manage to get some crucial points…and form a few questions in her mind. "Hang on…Sesshomaru? Not Sesshomaru Takahashi?"

"Yeah!" Rin chirped. "You know him?"

"Inuyasha's my boss."

"No kidding?" Rin laughed. "That's so funny!"

"No it's not," Sango mumbled. "My head hurts now…" Then a thought popped into her head. "Wait-have you ever met Inuyasha?"

"Sure. Funny guy. Potty mouth. Really stressed."

Sango quirked a smile. "That's him. Have you ever met his best friend?"

"Oh you mean the hentai? Miroku? Yeah, I've met him. He tried to grope me. Sesshomaru knocked the lights out of him and refrained Kohaku from doing any more damage." Rin's eyes suddenly flew open. "Wait-Miroku? That's not…your Miroku, is it?" At Sango's nod of affirmation, she screamed, "Oh my god!"

"Ay!" Sango winced. "Watch the eardrums."

"Hamaguchi Miroku is the guy that broke your heart eight years ago? That pervert? Sango, why are you in love with this guy?!"

"That's what I'd like to know!"

Rin jumped up from her chair and started pacing around the room. "This changes things…"

"How?" grumbled Sango, draining the last bit of her tea. "He's still the same guy. Lecherous, yet sweet. A playboy, yet caring."

"But…but…Sango, how do you know he's sincere? What if he's just using you?"

"That's what I want to know!" she yelled again. "Rin, you're just repeating everything I've just said!"

"Gomen," she apologized, "but I didn't realize it was Hamaguchi Miroku you were talking about. I mean… a girl's heart isn't safe around this guy."

Sango was quiet for a minute. Then: "I know."

"Sango, I know this is going to hurt you… but in your best interests, I think you'd better let him go. You'll be hurt even worse if you get romantically involved with him. Isn't he the one who dated half his college class and got that one freshman girl pregnant?"

Sango's jaw clenched. "I hadn't heard about that last one."

Rin nodded grimly.

The older brunette traced the rim of the teacup. "I've loved him for so long…after eight years, can I really let him go? My heart belongs to him, and only to him. I know that now. Seeing him after all these years…brought it to light."

Rin sighed. "We've got a big problem on our hands."

"Yeah."

"And you know what to do when we have a big problem on our hands…?"

"Crawl under a rock and die?"

"Of course not! Don't be so pessimistic! The answer is: make hot chocolate!" Rin bounced into the kitchen and yelled over her shoulder, "I guarantee this will make you feel better!"

Sango stared stupidly at the petite girl's retreating back. "Is that what you'd call 'ignorant bliss'?" She shook her head. She didn't want to be rude, but at the moment she really wasn't in the mood for hot chocolate. Maybe she should call Kagome and find out her opinion on this whole mess…

She quietly laid her teacup on the coffee table and retreated towards the door, hoping that Rin would understand why Sango left without saying goodbye.

.

.

The beads of water from the shower pelted down on Sango's head. She imagined the water washing away all her problems, all her worries, all her fears. The bathroom was completely dark except for the tiny frosted window above the toilet. The light the shone through cast a sort of holy glow on the tile. Sango sighed. She wished that the sun would cast some light onto her situation.

"Miroku," she murmured, as she shampooed her hair for a second time. "I love you."

She dropped the shampoo bottle to the ground and sunk to her knees. But do I love you enough to let you go?

Her tears melded with the water from the shower.

The raindrops outside started slow and accelerated until they formed a giant grey cloud that completely blocked the sun. The sky was cast a grayish color, and the light that shined through Sango's window shifted to another spot.

.

.

.

° the US is the only messed up country that calls 'football' "soccer." I mean, geez, what's the matter with us? ^_~ Since I'm trying to keep this story in context, I figured I'd use the term "football"…but just to clear it up, I was not talking about the game where guys with shoulder pads bash into each other like rampaging elephants.

The song at the beginning is title "Let U Go" and is sung by the artist BoA.

Well…looks like this is going to have to be a series… Not that I mind. ^_^ Please review and tell me what you thought!