InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Remnants of the Spider ❯ Trust ( Chapter 22 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: Lady Sianna 
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Romance / Drama / Adventure / Action | Type: Divergence | Uploaded On: 11.11.2009 | Pages: 3 | Words: 4.4K | Visits: 241 | Status: Work In Progress
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Romance / Drama / Adventure / Action | Type: Divergence | Uploaded On: 11.11.2009 | Pages: 3 | Words: 4.4K | Visits: 241 | Status: Work In Progress
Remnants of the Spider
Trust _________________________________________________________ _______________
Practically storming into the room, the hanyou leveled the weight of his gaze on his brother. Raising a single brow, Sesshoumaru returned the hanyou’s scowl with a slight smirk.
“Why are you two alone in here?” He asked a suspicious lilt to his voice.
Kagome’s cheeks flooded with color, the unvoiced accusation clear even to one as innocent as she. “Why do you have to be so rude all the time, and just what are you trying to say?” The miko questioned heatedly. “You didn’t even say hi, and the first thing you do is come in here and try to make it sound as if we were doing something… inappropriate! I would think you’d know me better than that!” She added as she crossed her arms over her chest.
As if he had not seen or until now, the hanyou looked at her with wide eyes. Sesshoumaru took that opportunity to rise to his feet. The nearly imperceptible smirk still clinging to his lips he said, “It is quite good to see you… little brother.”
Having apparently forgotten whatever he was going to say, the hanyou returned his gaze to his elder sibling. “You bastard, why are you here with Kagome? The brat ain’t even here so--”
Before he could continue his tirade, Kagome cut him off. “I told you not to call her that! Her name is Rin! Besides, she and Shippou will be back any minute now. Sesshoumaru and I were just playing the game to pass the time.” He had just arrived, and already the hanyou had gotten on her nerves. He could be a real jerk sometimes!
“Inuyasha…” the daiyoukai drawled silkily. “I hardly see what my presence here has to do with you.” With that, the demon lord made a show of extending a clawed hand to Kagome. Appreciating the gesture, the miko smiled shyly and accepted his hand. Inuyasha watched with incredulity, and no small amount of anger as his bastard brother pulled Kagome to her feet. He felt his eyes narrow; his blood was practically boiling.
“You’ve got a lot of nerve…” he growled dangerously.
“Have I?” Sesshoumaru asked, mild boredom once again settling onto his features.
Feeling as if she was missing something, but also realizing that the situation required diffusing, Kagome turned to Inuyasha, a small placating smile on her lips. “Inuyasha, what brings you here anyway? I haven’t seen you since…” she trailed off, the memory of her mentor’s passing stirring the dull ache within her heart. Without thinking to do so, the miko lowered her head, and a trace of disquiet flooded the small room together with the melancholia in Kagome’s scent. Unnoticed, both males looked at her, each wondering how she would react. For her part, Kagome’s thoughts trailed just above the surface of Kaede’s passing, but she managed not to delve too deeply lest she be recaptured by her grief. She gave herself both a mental and physical shake before lifting her eyes to the hanyou again, a smile returning to her lips although this one seemed a bit forced. “Anyway,” she said with a dismissive wave of her hand, instantly dispelling the tense atmosphere. “What brings you here?”
Still wanting to tear into his brother, but not wanting to upset Kagome unnecessarily, the hanyou resolved to remain calm for now. He didn’t know what that jerk was up to, but he could deal with Sesshoumaru later, preferably when Kagome was not around. Still…
The hanyou glanced at the insufferable face of his sibling. “I don’t really want to talk about it now. I’ll tell you later… in private.” he added meaningfully.
The daiyoukai could not look more bored if he tried, their exchange apparently holding little interest to him. Kagome rolled her eyes. Just as she thought to scold Inuyasha for his childish behavior, the straw panel flipped open again and Rin and Shippou bustled inside. They were both laughing and covered with bits of grass and traces of dirt. With their presence, the atmosphere in the room lightened instantly.
“Lord Sesshoumaru!” Rin cried exuberantly. “It is so good to see you again! How are things in the west?” she said as she quickly made her way to him. Remembering the condition of her clothing however, she stopped short of touching him.
Kagome watched with a level of mild fascination as the demon lord looked down on her, and his eyes softened ever so slightly. “The construction is ahead of schedule; the main building is nearly complete.” he responded somewhat blandly. “And what of yourself? I trust that all has been well?” Mentally, he noted that she wore the shoes he had brought.
“Yes my lord!” she beamed. “Did Lady Kagome tell you about my powers?! I’m going to be a miko just like her!” she said brightly, pride oozing from her every pore.
“Yes.” he answered, his gaze momentarily landing on the miko. Remembering the endearing comment he had made about his young ward, a smile of approval found Kagome’s lips.
Looking between them, Inuyasha barely resisted the urge to grimace in distaste. He had the distinct feeling that something was going on between them that he neither understood nor appreciated. Heavily disgusted by the notion, he thought to make a rude remark. Before he could do so however, his attention was drawn away when Shippou called out his name. “Hey Inuyasha, what are you doing here?” he asked sounding unusually happy to see him. Then, to his surprise he noticed how big he was getting. It had only been a few weeks since he had seen him last, but he was sure the kitsune had not been as tall as he was now. “Hey runt.” he greeted in his usual gruff manner. “You’re getting big…” he added almost absently.
“I know! Isn‘t it great?!” he gushed excitedly, and without thinking to do so, he glanced over at Rin.
The slant of his emerald gaze did not go unnoticed, and a slow smirk worked its way onto Inuyasha‘s lips. He knew that look. ‘So…’ he thought with a bit of juvenile satisfaction, ’the runt has a crush on Sesshoumaru’s brat. Wonder how the bastard will take that.’
“And guess what else?!” the kit cried, interrupting his thoughts again. “I’ve gotten a lot more powerful and my sensei said that I will probably start growing a second tail within the next few weeks!*”
Inuyasha smirk turned into an actual smile, as genuine pride stirred in his chest. “That’s great Shippou. You’re really growing up, huh?”
“You bet! Pretty soon I’ll be even more powerful than you, then I’ll get you back for all the mean stuff you did to me when I was little!” he pointed up at him frowning, but his voice carried a teasing lilt.
“Keh! In your dreams, squirt!” Inuyasha shot back, his tone equally lighthearted.
After another moment of quiet conversation, the room fell silent. Fearful that it would become awkward with the unusual mixture of company, Kagome sought to find a distraction. She clapped her hands instantly drawing everyone‘s attention to her. “All right you two,” she addressed Rin and Shippou, “it’s time for you guys to get washed up for dinner.”
“Sure thing!” said Shippou.
“Yes, Lady Kagome.” said Rin, her tone more reserved than that of the kit’s. She turned to Sesshoumaru and gave a respectful bow. “It was so good to see you my lord. I hope you will visit again soon.” she smiled up at him before turning to leave the room. Shippou was at the door waiting for her. He had already pushed the straw panel aside for her and was waiting for her to exit the hut.
Kagome narrowed her eyes as she watched the interaction between them. She’d realized early on that Rin and Shippou had become fast friends, but as of late she was subtly beginning to suspect that just maybe it was something more than that. The idea was sweet on a cavity inducing level, but also just a little sad at the same time. They were both growing up so fast! Not only that, but it seemed like everyone around her was pairing up and leaving her alone.
“The hour grows late…”Sesshoumaru noted audibly, drawing Kagome from her adorable but vaguely disquieting thoughts. Shooting a swift glance at his brother he said, “I have already stayed longer than I intended.”
“Oh,” Kagome said, her voice sounding a little startled. “It’s okay, I don’t mind--”
He turned to her fully. “There are matters which require my attention, but…” covertly using his peripheral vision to keep an eye on his sibling, he stepped toward her. “I can assure you that I shall see you again. Soon.”
Kagome’s eyes widened, and her cheeks flooded with color. Though his features remained characteristically blank, there was a thin trace of… something threaded into his voice that caused her heart to skip half a dozen beats. “Umm… okay.” she finally managed. “I’ll… see you later then.”
“Most certainly.”
“Alright…!” the hanyou roared, unable to hold his silence any longer. “Just what the hell’s going on between the two of you?!”
Instantly reawakening from her mild trance, Kagome’s eyes shot to him. “N-nothing!” she yipped almost feeling as if she was lying. But… but why would she feel that way? There wasn’t anything going on between her and Sesshoumaru. If anything, they had become friends… maybe; and even that was kinda hard to believe. His words had been completely innocent. The ambiguous eroticism she thought she might possibly have detected in the undercurrent of his tone was… was… she and Sesshoumaru didn’t have that kind of relationship. Not even close! Clearly she had only imagined it. Clearly!
For his part, Sesshoumaru only smirked; a near invisible quirk of the lips as he silently brushed passed the hanyou and exited the room.
His eyes narrowing, a low growl tore from Inuyasha’s throat. He didn‘t have a good feeling about that jerk hanging around Kagome. NOT… AT… ALL!
“Why you--” he began as he whirled around to go after arrogant jerk.
“Inuyasha please…” Kagome asked as she reached out to grab the sleeve of his haori. “Please stop, he hasn’t done anything wrong, just let it go.”
The half-demon gave her a hard look as he turned back to her. “Kagome, I don’t trust Sesshoumaru. I feel like he’s up to something, like he’s…” he trailed off giving her a strange look and Kagome felt color rise to her cheeks again.
“It’s nothing like that, Inuyasha. We’re just… we’re just… friends.” she said dubiously, apparently still getting used to the idea herself.”
“Well I don’t trust him! Since when has he ever had any friends? Why would he want one now, especially a human friend, and why you?” then thinking back on the last few times he had seen his brother around Kagome, he cautiously ventured, “I think… I think he’s just using you to get under my skin.”
White hot anger sparked through her then. “Everything just has to be all about you, huh, Inuyasha?!” and beneath her statement were the words that he always feared she would say; the hint of an accusation she was too kindhearted to voice. “He wouldn’t do something like that and in spite of what you might think, the world does not revolve around you! Why is it so impossible to think that he might actually enjoy my company?”
The hanyou winced at her words. A very big part of him was fearful of exactly that. “C’mon, I Kagome didn’t mean it like that. I just… I don’t want him hanging around you. I think… I don’t…”
Kagome locked him in an unyielding gaze. “Once there might have been a time when that was your business,” her eyes narrowed slightly, “but now… it is not. You made your choice Inuyasha.”
Just then Rin and Shippou made their presence known when they noisily entered the room. Pulling attention away from Inuyasha, Kagome plastered a bright smile on her face. “Alright!” she said cheerfully. “I guess I’d better get the food started.”
The hanyou frowned. “Kagome,” he began uneasily. “I’m not… can we talk outside for a little bit?”
There was a tense silence. Finally Rin offered, “Excuse me Lady Kagome, but if it’s okay with you I can start dinner.”
Kagome looked down on her petite form, and then back to Inuyasha before giving a quick nod of agreement. “Okay…” she said somewhat uncertainly. Inuyasha turned and exited, Kagome trailing close behind him.
Ah-Un was lounging outside near the door, but each of its heads rose slightly as the miko exited the hut. Without giving it much thought, Kagome petted them both before walking the short distance away and folding her hands at the small of her back. For some reason her actions irritated Inuyasha further. It seemed to him that Sesshoumaru was slowly integrating himself into Kagome’s life, and it bugged the hell out of him.
Oblivious of his inner turmoil Kagome took a long deep breath relishing the clean air. It was never like this in her time but the 20th century did have its advantages over the feudal era. Things like electricity, indoor plumbing, and of course fast food restaurants. Sometimes, she wondered if she would return there. It was her rightful time after all but somehow it just seemed more important to stay here. Rin and Shippou needed her. ‘But,’ she thought fleetingly, ‘in a few years they won’t. What will I do then?’ Not wanting to delve too deeply into this train of thought, Kagome sighed quietly and looked to the sky. The sun was beginning to set taking with it the oppressive heat of the day. It had been growing increasingly warm lately, but around this time of day, it was usually quite comfortable.
“I never chose her…” Inuyasha murmured. In spite of how quietly he spoke Kagome was almost violently jarred from her thoughts.
She looked at him then, her brows drawn together in a faint frown. “What are you talking about?” she asked carefully, uncertain she really wanted to know.
His gaze fell to the ground. He loved Kikyou. He really did, and part of him felt as if he was betraying her by even considering what he was about to say; but he had to. Already it might be too late, but this was his last chance and he‘d kick himself forever if he didn‘t take it. Closing the distance between them, he wrapped a clawed hand around her right wrist. Slowly, he lifted the delicate appendage and carefully pulled her sleeve away to reveal the portion of rosary she wore. For a moment they each looked on in silence as the soft gold of the setting sun reflected from the beads’ smooth surface. The little bracelet looked so innocent, so benign, but for him it held more meaning than he could ever put into words. “This was your idea Kagome.” There was a kind of melancholic serenity to his voice which was out of place on him, and the young miko was unsure how to take it. “I didn’t make this choice, you did. I didn‘t… I didn’t choose Kikyou and… to be honest I‘m not sure… I‘m not sure I would have.”
Kagome stared up at him, and the sincerity shining in his golden-amber gaze nearly took her breath away. At that moment an old spark ignited in her belly. It was a feeling she had believed was behind her, a feeling she thought to never revisit again, but it was still there; its intensity nearly knocking her off her feet. For years she had hoped he would choose her over Kikyou, and there had been many times when she thought he had, but as soon as the hint of a sighting of the other miko met his ears, he was off to search for her leaving Kagome in misery. She had promised herself she would stay by his side, had known he would never forget Kikyou, and tried to convince herself that it was okay, had longed to hear him say that it was she, Kagome, he loved; wanted to be with, wanted by his side. But… he never did. Though she knew it was hard for him to say what he was saying at this moment, she realized that he still wasn’t saying it now. She almost felt bad for the next thought that crossed her mind, but she knew it was the truth. At one point… what he had just said would’ve been good enough, but now, now it just wasn’t. Slowly, she pulled her wrist from his grasp and using her left hand she cradled it against her chest. “Please know,” she began very quietly, “please know that I will always love you Inuyasha, but…”
The hanyou’s heart began to sink. ‘It is too late…’ he realized, regret and acceptance struggling for the upper hand.
“That doesn’t matter anymore.” she shrugged lightly. “You had years to choose me if you really wanted to. At one point I truly believed that I could wait for you forever, but now I think… I’m not perfect, but I think I at least deserve someone who won’t hurt me the way you did. Can you imagine how much it hurt me to see you run to her again and again?”
He turned away. “Humph.” he snorted quietly. “Guess I never really thought about it like that.” he admitted softly. He had always known Kagome to be so strong, had watched her face down impossible odds without so much as batting an eye. He supposed he’d never considered that something that seemed so small to him would have been so painful for her.
She could see the dejection in his stance, but Kagome knew she had to press on anyway. “You say you didn’t choose her, but you did. You chose her by not choosing me. I’m so sorry, Inuyasha, but I just couldn’t wait for you. I thought I could but I guess… I guess I wasn’t strong enough. I guess it was just easier to give up.”
Something in the hanyou’s chest tightened painfully and his hands reflexively curled into tight fists. “Don’t--” he began, a slight rasp to his voice “Don’t ever say that, Kagome. Don’t ever blame yourself for what I did. You’re right. I had plenty of time, I-I just…”
Kagome laid a hand on his shoulder. “You don’t owe me an explanation.” she said gently. “It wouldn’t change anything now anyway.” She angled her neck so that she could catch his gaze again. “I don’t know what we could have had Inuyasha, and neither do you.” She offered a reassuring smile. “But I’ll make a deal with you. How about we just focus on what we have now?” she asked showing him her beaded wrist.
Not trusting his voice at the moment, the hanyou simply gathered her up and pulled her close to him. Sighing in content, Kagome returned his embrace. A year ago she would have given anything for him to hold her like this, but now it didn’t ignite that naughty little spark in her belly and set her ablaze. Now it felt much innocent, almost familial even. It was a strange sensation as a part of her mourned the loss, while the rest sighed in relief. Oddly, she felt liberated in a way that she never had before. It was quite a lovely feeling, but little did she realize how short-lived it would be.
“So,” she began as she slowly pulled away from his embrace. “You never did tell me why you were here.”
The hanyou’s cloudy sense of comfort evaporated instantly, and he could not help but to look away from her again. “Kikyou sent me.” he said uneasily as he took a subconscious step away from her.
“Alright…” she prompted, wondering why he had suddenly pulled away.
“She um… she wanted me to invite you guys to our umm… our ceremony.”
Kagome frowned slightly. Ceremony? What was he… then it dawned on her, and she suddenly did not feel so good. “Your… wedding?” she asked, a curious sense of betrayal sinking its claws into her stomach.
“Yeah.” he said without looking at her. “It’s… it’s in two weeks.” The tension in the air was almost instantaneous, and his feet tingled with the rare desire to escape.
“Of course I’ll be there!” she finally answered her voice falsely bright. “Umm… congratulations!”
“Great.” he said halfheartedly, still refusing to look at her. “I umm, should get back to the village. We got stuff to do.”
‘We…’ Kagome thought feeling slightly miserable. All of a sudden, she felt so… excluded and lonely. “Right.” she said absently. “Well, I’ll see you later then.”
“Yeah.”
Silently, she watched as he turned away from her and quickly bounded out of sight. She didn’t know how long she stood there before she sank to the ground wrapping an arm around Ah-Un’s body. The dragon grunted lightly with what sounded like mild appreciation, and a small sardonic smile tugged on Kagome’s lips. Resting her head against the demon‘s soft black mane she said, “At least I still have you.”
Unbeknownst to Kagome, her quiet declaration was heard by another. His aura carefully contained, the demon sat in silence atop her hut. His white clothing and lush fur, contrasted starkly with the ever darkening sky, but there were few around to notice. Sightlessly, his golden eyes stared off into the distance as his long silver tresses danced softly in rhythm with the wind. His brows drew together in a slight frown as a particular portion of their conversation echoed again and again in his mind.
‘I think… I think he’s just using you to get under my skin.’
‘He wouldn’t do something like that…’
‘She… trusts me…’
________________________________________________ ________________________
Alright, before anyone gets mad at me for what Kagome is feeling regarding Inuyasha just let me say that in reality, or in my world at least, it is not possible to simply cut one’s feelings off. I have been in love before, and even when I found out that the guy was no good for me, I loved him still. Since I could not put a dead stop to my emotions, even when I wanted to, I am assuming that this is the reality for most people. It takes time. With that said, also please realize that she still cares a great deal for him, but she is NOT in love with him anymore. She is simply lonely, and slightly jealous that he is moving on with his life. I think most of us would feel that way if we were in her situation.
*For those of you who were curious about Shippou’s excitement over growing a second tail, multiple tails are indicative of wisdom and power among kitsune. They can have up to nine. ^_^
Trust _________________________________________________________ _______________
Practically storming into the room, the hanyou leveled the weight of his gaze on his brother. Raising a single brow, Sesshoumaru returned the hanyou’s scowl with a slight smirk.
“Why are you two alone in here?” He asked a suspicious lilt to his voice.
Kagome’s cheeks flooded with color, the unvoiced accusation clear even to one as innocent as she. “Why do you have to be so rude all the time, and just what are you trying to say?” The miko questioned heatedly. “You didn’t even say hi, and the first thing you do is come in here and try to make it sound as if we were doing something… inappropriate! I would think you’d know me better than that!” She added as she crossed her arms over her chest.
As if he had not seen or until now, the hanyou looked at her with wide eyes. Sesshoumaru took that opportunity to rise to his feet. The nearly imperceptible smirk still clinging to his lips he said, “It is quite good to see you… little brother.”
Having apparently forgotten whatever he was going to say, the hanyou returned his gaze to his elder sibling. “You bastard, why are you here with Kagome? The brat ain’t even here so--”
Before he could continue his tirade, Kagome cut him off. “I told you not to call her that! Her name is Rin! Besides, she and Shippou will be back any minute now. Sesshoumaru and I were just playing the game to pass the time.” He had just arrived, and already the hanyou had gotten on her nerves. He could be a real jerk sometimes!
“Inuyasha…” the daiyoukai drawled silkily. “I hardly see what my presence here has to do with you.” With that, the demon lord made a show of extending a clawed hand to Kagome. Appreciating the gesture, the miko smiled shyly and accepted his hand. Inuyasha watched with incredulity, and no small amount of anger as his bastard brother pulled Kagome to her feet. He felt his eyes narrow; his blood was practically boiling.
“You’ve got a lot of nerve…” he growled dangerously.
“Have I?” Sesshoumaru asked, mild boredom once again settling onto his features.
Feeling as if she was missing something, but also realizing that the situation required diffusing, Kagome turned to Inuyasha, a small placating smile on her lips. “Inuyasha, what brings you here anyway? I haven’t seen you since…” she trailed off, the memory of her mentor’s passing stirring the dull ache within her heart. Without thinking to do so, the miko lowered her head, and a trace of disquiet flooded the small room together with the melancholia in Kagome’s scent. Unnoticed, both males looked at her, each wondering how she would react. For her part, Kagome’s thoughts trailed just above the surface of Kaede’s passing, but she managed not to delve too deeply lest she be recaptured by her grief. She gave herself both a mental and physical shake before lifting her eyes to the hanyou again, a smile returning to her lips although this one seemed a bit forced. “Anyway,” she said with a dismissive wave of her hand, instantly dispelling the tense atmosphere. “What brings you here?”
Still wanting to tear into his brother, but not wanting to upset Kagome unnecessarily, the hanyou resolved to remain calm for now. He didn’t know what that jerk was up to, but he could deal with Sesshoumaru later, preferably when Kagome was not around. Still…
The hanyou glanced at the insufferable face of his sibling. “I don’t really want to talk about it now. I’ll tell you later… in private.” he added meaningfully.
The daiyoukai could not look more bored if he tried, their exchange apparently holding little interest to him. Kagome rolled her eyes. Just as she thought to scold Inuyasha for his childish behavior, the straw panel flipped open again and Rin and Shippou bustled inside. They were both laughing and covered with bits of grass and traces of dirt. With their presence, the atmosphere in the room lightened instantly.
“Lord Sesshoumaru!” Rin cried exuberantly. “It is so good to see you again! How are things in the west?” she said as she quickly made her way to him. Remembering the condition of her clothing however, she stopped short of touching him.
Kagome watched with a level of mild fascination as the demon lord looked down on her, and his eyes softened ever so slightly. “The construction is ahead of schedule; the main building is nearly complete.” he responded somewhat blandly. “And what of yourself? I trust that all has been well?” Mentally, he noted that she wore the shoes he had brought.
“Yes my lord!” she beamed. “Did Lady Kagome tell you about my powers?! I’m going to be a miko just like her!” she said brightly, pride oozing from her every pore.
“Yes.” he answered, his gaze momentarily landing on the miko. Remembering the endearing comment he had made about his young ward, a smile of approval found Kagome’s lips.
Looking between them, Inuyasha barely resisted the urge to grimace in distaste. He had the distinct feeling that something was going on between them that he neither understood nor appreciated. Heavily disgusted by the notion, he thought to make a rude remark. Before he could do so however, his attention was drawn away when Shippou called out his name. “Hey Inuyasha, what are you doing here?” he asked sounding unusually happy to see him. Then, to his surprise he noticed how big he was getting. It had only been a few weeks since he had seen him last, but he was sure the kitsune had not been as tall as he was now. “Hey runt.” he greeted in his usual gruff manner. “You’re getting big…” he added almost absently.
“I know! Isn‘t it great?!” he gushed excitedly, and without thinking to do so, he glanced over at Rin.
The slant of his emerald gaze did not go unnoticed, and a slow smirk worked its way onto Inuyasha‘s lips. He knew that look. ‘So…’ he thought with a bit of juvenile satisfaction, ’the runt has a crush on Sesshoumaru’s brat. Wonder how the bastard will take that.’
“And guess what else?!” the kit cried, interrupting his thoughts again. “I’ve gotten a lot more powerful and my sensei said that I will probably start growing a second tail within the next few weeks!*”
Inuyasha smirk turned into an actual smile, as genuine pride stirred in his chest. “That’s great Shippou. You’re really growing up, huh?”
“You bet! Pretty soon I’ll be even more powerful than you, then I’ll get you back for all the mean stuff you did to me when I was little!” he pointed up at him frowning, but his voice carried a teasing lilt.
“Keh! In your dreams, squirt!” Inuyasha shot back, his tone equally lighthearted.
After another moment of quiet conversation, the room fell silent. Fearful that it would become awkward with the unusual mixture of company, Kagome sought to find a distraction. She clapped her hands instantly drawing everyone‘s attention to her. “All right you two,” she addressed Rin and Shippou, “it’s time for you guys to get washed up for dinner.”
“Sure thing!” said Shippou.
“Yes, Lady Kagome.” said Rin, her tone more reserved than that of the kit’s. She turned to Sesshoumaru and gave a respectful bow. “It was so good to see you my lord. I hope you will visit again soon.” she smiled up at him before turning to leave the room. Shippou was at the door waiting for her. He had already pushed the straw panel aside for her and was waiting for her to exit the hut.
Kagome narrowed her eyes as she watched the interaction between them. She’d realized early on that Rin and Shippou had become fast friends, but as of late she was subtly beginning to suspect that just maybe it was something more than that. The idea was sweet on a cavity inducing level, but also just a little sad at the same time. They were both growing up so fast! Not only that, but it seemed like everyone around her was pairing up and leaving her alone.
“The hour grows late…”Sesshoumaru noted audibly, drawing Kagome from her adorable but vaguely disquieting thoughts. Shooting a swift glance at his brother he said, “I have already stayed longer than I intended.”
“Oh,” Kagome said, her voice sounding a little startled. “It’s okay, I don’t mind--”
He turned to her fully. “There are matters which require my attention, but…” covertly using his peripheral vision to keep an eye on his sibling, he stepped toward her. “I can assure you that I shall see you again. Soon.”
Kagome’s eyes widened, and her cheeks flooded with color. Though his features remained characteristically blank, there was a thin trace of… something threaded into his voice that caused her heart to skip half a dozen beats. “Umm… okay.” she finally managed. “I’ll… see you later then.”
“Most certainly.”
“Alright…!” the hanyou roared, unable to hold his silence any longer. “Just what the hell’s going on between the two of you?!”
Instantly reawakening from her mild trance, Kagome’s eyes shot to him. “N-nothing!” she yipped almost feeling as if she was lying. But… but why would she feel that way? There wasn’t anything going on between her and Sesshoumaru. If anything, they had become friends… maybe; and even that was kinda hard to believe. His words had been completely innocent. The ambiguous eroticism she thought she might possibly have detected in the undercurrent of his tone was… was… she and Sesshoumaru didn’t have that kind of relationship. Not even close! Clearly she had only imagined it. Clearly!
For his part, Sesshoumaru only smirked; a near invisible quirk of the lips as he silently brushed passed the hanyou and exited the room.
His eyes narrowing, a low growl tore from Inuyasha’s throat. He didn‘t have a good feeling about that jerk hanging around Kagome. NOT… AT… ALL!
“Why you--” he began as he whirled around to go after arrogant jerk.
“Inuyasha please…” Kagome asked as she reached out to grab the sleeve of his haori. “Please stop, he hasn’t done anything wrong, just let it go.”
The half-demon gave her a hard look as he turned back to her. “Kagome, I don’t trust Sesshoumaru. I feel like he’s up to something, like he’s…” he trailed off giving her a strange look and Kagome felt color rise to her cheeks again.
“It’s nothing like that, Inuyasha. We’re just… we’re just… friends.” she said dubiously, apparently still getting used to the idea herself.”
“Well I don’t trust him! Since when has he ever had any friends? Why would he want one now, especially a human friend, and why you?” then thinking back on the last few times he had seen his brother around Kagome, he cautiously ventured, “I think… I think he’s just using you to get under my skin.”
White hot anger sparked through her then. “Everything just has to be all about you, huh, Inuyasha?!” and beneath her statement were the words that he always feared she would say; the hint of an accusation she was too kindhearted to voice. “He wouldn’t do something like that and in spite of what you might think, the world does not revolve around you! Why is it so impossible to think that he might actually enjoy my company?”
The hanyou winced at her words. A very big part of him was fearful of exactly that. “C’mon, I Kagome didn’t mean it like that. I just… I don’t want him hanging around you. I think… I don’t…”
Kagome locked him in an unyielding gaze. “Once there might have been a time when that was your business,” her eyes narrowed slightly, “but now… it is not. You made your choice Inuyasha.”
Just then Rin and Shippou made their presence known when they noisily entered the room. Pulling attention away from Inuyasha, Kagome plastered a bright smile on her face. “Alright!” she said cheerfully. “I guess I’d better get the food started.”
The hanyou frowned. “Kagome,” he began uneasily. “I’m not… can we talk outside for a little bit?”
There was a tense silence. Finally Rin offered, “Excuse me Lady Kagome, but if it’s okay with you I can start dinner.”
Kagome looked down on her petite form, and then back to Inuyasha before giving a quick nod of agreement. “Okay…” she said somewhat uncertainly. Inuyasha turned and exited, Kagome trailing close behind him.
Ah-Un was lounging outside near the door, but each of its heads rose slightly as the miko exited the hut. Without giving it much thought, Kagome petted them both before walking the short distance away and folding her hands at the small of her back. For some reason her actions irritated Inuyasha further. It seemed to him that Sesshoumaru was slowly integrating himself into Kagome’s life, and it bugged the hell out of him.
Oblivious of his inner turmoil Kagome took a long deep breath relishing the clean air. It was never like this in her time but the 20th century did have its advantages over the feudal era. Things like electricity, indoor plumbing, and of course fast food restaurants. Sometimes, she wondered if she would return there. It was her rightful time after all but somehow it just seemed more important to stay here. Rin and Shippou needed her. ‘But,’ she thought fleetingly, ‘in a few years they won’t. What will I do then?’ Not wanting to delve too deeply into this train of thought, Kagome sighed quietly and looked to the sky. The sun was beginning to set taking with it the oppressive heat of the day. It had been growing increasingly warm lately, but around this time of day, it was usually quite comfortable.
“I never chose her…” Inuyasha murmured. In spite of how quietly he spoke Kagome was almost violently jarred from her thoughts.
She looked at him then, her brows drawn together in a faint frown. “What are you talking about?” she asked carefully, uncertain she really wanted to know.
His gaze fell to the ground. He loved Kikyou. He really did, and part of him felt as if he was betraying her by even considering what he was about to say; but he had to. Already it might be too late, but this was his last chance and he‘d kick himself forever if he didn‘t take it. Closing the distance between them, he wrapped a clawed hand around her right wrist. Slowly, he lifted the delicate appendage and carefully pulled her sleeve away to reveal the portion of rosary she wore. For a moment they each looked on in silence as the soft gold of the setting sun reflected from the beads’ smooth surface. The little bracelet looked so innocent, so benign, but for him it held more meaning than he could ever put into words. “This was your idea Kagome.” There was a kind of melancholic serenity to his voice which was out of place on him, and the young miko was unsure how to take it. “I didn’t make this choice, you did. I didn‘t… I didn’t choose Kikyou and… to be honest I‘m not sure… I‘m not sure I would have.”
Kagome stared up at him, and the sincerity shining in his golden-amber gaze nearly took her breath away. At that moment an old spark ignited in her belly. It was a feeling she had believed was behind her, a feeling she thought to never revisit again, but it was still there; its intensity nearly knocking her off her feet. For years she had hoped he would choose her over Kikyou, and there had been many times when she thought he had, but as soon as the hint of a sighting of the other miko met his ears, he was off to search for her leaving Kagome in misery. She had promised herself she would stay by his side, had known he would never forget Kikyou, and tried to convince herself that it was okay, had longed to hear him say that it was she, Kagome, he loved; wanted to be with, wanted by his side. But… he never did. Though she knew it was hard for him to say what he was saying at this moment, she realized that he still wasn’t saying it now. She almost felt bad for the next thought that crossed her mind, but she knew it was the truth. At one point… what he had just said would’ve been good enough, but now, now it just wasn’t. Slowly, she pulled her wrist from his grasp and using her left hand she cradled it against her chest. “Please know,” she began very quietly, “please know that I will always love you Inuyasha, but…”
The hanyou’s heart began to sink. ‘It is too late…’ he realized, regret and acceptance struggling for the upper hand.
“That doesn’t matter anymore.” she shrugged lightly. “You had years to choose me if you really wanted to. At one point I truly believed that I could wait for you forever, but now I think… I’m not perfect, but I think I at least deserve someone who won’t hurt me the way you did. Can you imagine how much it hurt me to see you run to her again and again?”
He turned away. “Humph.” he snorted quietly. “Guess I never really thought about it like that.” he admitted softly. He had always known Kagome to be so strong, had watched her face down impossible odds without so much as batting an eye. He supposed he’d never considered that something that seemed so small to him would have been so painful for her.
She could see the dejection in his stance, but Kagome knew she had to press on anyway. “You say you didn’t choose her, but you did. You chose her by not choosing me. I’m so sorry, Inuyasha, but I just couldn’t wait for you. I thought I could but I guess… I guess I wasn’t strong enough. I guess it was just easier to give up.”
Something in the hanyou’s chest tightened painfully and his hands reflexively curled into tight fists. “Don’t--” he began, a slight rasp to his voice “Don’t ever say that, Kagome. Don’t ever blame yourself for what I did. You’re right. I had plenty of time, I-I just…”
Kagome laid a hand on his shoulder. “You don’t owe me an explanation.” she said gently. “It wouldn’t change anything now anyway.” She angled her neck so that she could catch his gaze again. “I don’t know what we could have had Inuyasha, and neither do you.” She offered a reassuring smile. “But I’ll make a deal with you. How about we just focus on what we have now?” she asked showing him her beaded wrist.
Not trusting his voice at the moment, the hanyou simply gathered her up and pulled her close to him. Sighing in content, Kagome returned his embrace. A year ago she would have given anything for him to hold her like this, but now it didn’t ignite that naughty little spark in her belly and set her ablaze. Now it felt much innocent, almost familial even. It was a strange sensation as a part of her mourned the loss, while the rest sighed in relief. Oddly, she felt liberated in a way that she never had before. It was quite a lovely feeling, but little did she realize how short-lived it would be.
“So,” she began as she slowly pulled away from his embrace. “You never did tell me why you were here.”
The hanyou’s cloudy sense of comfort evaporated instantly, and he could not help but to look away from her again. “Kikyou sent me.” he said uneasily as he took a subconscious step away from her.
“Alright…” she prompted, wondering why he had suddenly pulled away.
“She um… she wanted me to invite you guys to our umm… our ceremony.”
Kagome frowned slightly. Ceremony? What was he… then it dawned on her, and she suddenly did not feel so good. “Your… wedding?” she asked, a curious sense of betrayal sinking its claws into her stomach.
“Yeah.” he said without looking at her. “It’s… it’s in two weeks.” The tension in the air was almost instantaneous, and his feet tingled with the rare desire to escape.
“Of course I’ll be there!” she finally answered her voice falsely bright. “Umm… congratulations!”
“Great.” he said halfheartedly, still refusing to look at her. “I umm, should get back to the village. We got stuff to do.”
‘We…’ Kagome thought feeling slightly miserable. All of a sudden, she felt so… excluded and lonely. “Right.” she said absently. “Well, I’ll see you later then.”
“Yeah.”
Silently, she watched as he turned away from her and quickly bounded out of sight. She didn’t know how long she stood there before she sank to the ground wrapping an arm around Ah-Un’s body. The dragon grunted lightly with what sounded like mild appreciation, and a small sardonic smile tugged on Kagome’s lips. Resting her head against the demon‘s soft black mane she said, “At least I still have you.”
Unbeknownst to Kagome, her quiet declaration was heard by another. His aura carefully contained, the demon sat in silence atop her hut. His white clothing and lush fur, contrasted starkly with the ever darkening sky, but there were few around to notice. Sightlessly, his golden eyes stared off into the distance as his long silver tresses danced softly in rhythm with the wind. His brows drew together in a slight frown as a particular portion of their conversation echoed again and again in his mind.
‘I think… I think he’s just using you to get under my skin.’
‘He wouldn’t do something like that…’
‘She… trusts me…’
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Alright, before anyone gets mad at me for what Kagome is feeling regarding Inuyasha just let me say that in reality, or in my world at least, it is not possible to simply cut one’s feelings off. I have been in love before, and even when I found out that the guy was no good for me, I loved him still. Since I could not put a dead stop to my emotions, even when I wanted to, I am assuming that this is the reality for most people. It takes time. With that said, also please realize that she still cares a great deal for him, but she is NOT in love with him anymore. She is simply lonely, and slightly jealous that he is moving on with his life. I think most of us would feel that way if we were in her situation.
*For those of you who were curious about Shippou’s excitement over growing a second tail, multiple tails are indicative of wisdom and power among kitsune. They can have up to nine. ^_^