InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Remnants of the Spider ❯ Unanswered Questions ( Chapter 28 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: Lady Sianna 
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Romance / Drama / Adventure / Action | Type: Divergence | Uploaded On: 11.11.2009 | Pages: 4 | Words: 5.0K | Visits: 317 | Status: Work In Progress
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Romance / Drama / Adventure / Action | Type: Divergence | Uploaded On: 11.11.2009 | Pages: 4 | Words: 5.0K | Visits: 317 | Status: Work In Progress
Remnants of the Spider
Unanswered Questions
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Collecting her large basket of dried herbs, her mortar and pestle, Kagome used her elbow to move the straw panel door out of the way so that she could sit outside. It was a beautiful day and she was not about to spend in inside the stuffy confines of the little hut. Finding her usual spot near the doorway, the young miko lowered herself to the ground and placed the basket next to her. Her mortar and pestle nestled in the small space between her crossed legs, Kagome set to the tedious task of preparing herbs for medication.
Several yards away, Inuyasha skidded to a stop. He stood on a grassy embankment just inside the perimeter of the village. From where he stood he could see Kagome sitting outside the small hut which was now essentially her home. Radiant beams of sunlight slipped through sparse clouds bathing her in golden luminosity while dapples of shade peppered the area around her. It was almost as if the glowing yellow orb thought to draw his attention to her alone.
Humph, as if he needed the sun to do that.
A small basket was sitting next to her while her legs were crossed and folded and in front of her, a small mortar sitting in her lap. She was grinding herbs, he realized somewhat vacantly. He had seen women perform the mundane task before, but the chore appeared oddly enthralling now. Entranced, the hanyou watched the deft, rhythmic moves of her wrist as dried leaves were rendered into a fine powder. A gentle smile was playing about the corners of her lips and even from this distance he could hear that she was humming quietly to herself.
She was… beautiful.
A part of him had always known that but…
“Damn it.” he swore quietly to himself.
A delicate breeze ruffled her long dark hair, and his breath caught in his throat. It was as if a haze had been lifted from his eyes and he was now seeing her clearly for the first time. She was absolutely breathtaking! What was more, was that he KNEW her. She wasn’t just physically pretty, she had this personality that just drew people to her. She had a way of bringing joy to everything and everyone she touched. Why hadn’t he paid more attention before? Maybe… maybe he hadn’t wanted to. How could he? He was still in love with someone else.
Was he… in love with Kagome too?
His eyes fell to a small patch of grass in front of him.
‘I don’t know…’ he answered himself. ‘…maybe. Probably.’ he thought, a guilty pang settling into his belly like a heavy weight. How could he be in love with two women? He felt his brows draw together in a slight frown. It was so confusing, but he couldn’t help the way he was feeling. If he could have decided between them, he would have done so a long time ago.
‘I’m so sorry, Inuyasha, but I just couldn’t wait for you.’
The memory of Kagome’s words echoed through his mind, tearing a melancholic sigh from his lips. Even if he was in love with Kagome, she’d never give him another chance now, and even if she did, he couldn’t betray Kikyou either.
Giving himself a slight shake, he suddenly looked up at her again, his features set in a determined scowl. Maybe it was the fact that he could never have her now which made him want to crush her against his chest and never let her go. Maybe he had been a fool for the past four years. Maybe he was just being selfish and greedy. He couldn’t really tell. All he knew was that love had been in very short supply in his life. Since he was just a pup, nearly everyone he had ever met wanted him dead simply because of the fact that he was hanyou, something he himself had no control over. There were so few people who cared for him; really, truly cared for him, and Kagome LOVED him. She’d said so herself.
His frown deepened slightly. There was no way he was going to let a bastard like Sesshoumaru take that away from him!
With that final thought, Inuyasha launched into the air.
Smiling and humming quietly to herself, the miko added a few more dried leaves to her little wooden bowl. She was thoroughly unsurprised when a pair of red haori-clad legs, and bare clawed feet entered her field of vision.
“I was wondering how long you were going to just stand there and watch me.” she said flippantly, but he could hear a hint of laughter in her voice.
The hanyou’s cheeks darkened slightly. “Who says I was watching you?
She gave him a knowing look. “So you’re saying you weren’t?”
He looked away from her then.
“Keh!” was about all he could seem to manage.
She laughed at him, a quiet lighthearted little giggle. The sound made his heart clench just a little bit more. Brushing the unwanted feeling aside, he dropped to a crouch in front of her shoving his hands into his sleeves. For a moment he simply watched her as she continued to work, many different thoughts bombarding his mind, but he could adequately voice none of them at the moment.
It was the silence that caught the miko’s attention and she paused in her motions to look up at him. Seeing the serious expression he was wearing, Kagome’s smile was replaced with a small frown.
“What’s wrong?”
Uncertain of how to proceed, the hanyou did not speak for a long time.
“Inuyasha?” the miko prompted, her brows knitted together in concern.
Inuyasha stared at her. She actually cared about what he had to say. Her earnest expression was not something that could be feigned. And this was why he couldn’t let her fall in love with Sesshoumaru. Kagome was a loving and caring person, and Sesshoumaru was a bastard! If she fell in love with him, she’d only end up getting hurt. Plus… plus if she fell in love with him…
“Inuyasha?” she asked again, the frown deepening on her pretty face. He was about to speak when Kagome placed the bowl next to her and moved a bit closer to him. The movement caused her sweet, familiar scent to waft to him on the breeze and he felt himself swallow convulsively.
‘Damn it!’ he swore mentally. Why did his life have to be so hard… and unfair?
“It’s… Sesshoumaru,” he finally grumbled.
“Oh.” she said quietly, both understanding and apprehension washing over her. “Did you guys get into a fight?” she asked carefully.
He looked off to the side. “Not exactly…” he mumbled.
“Then what happened?” she asked as she angled herself so that she could see his eyes again. After an uneasy moment, he looked at her.
“Kagome… why…?” he began uneasily, “Why would you want to be friends with a guy like him?”
The miko sighed. She should have seen this coming. Again. “Inuyasha, I can’t even pretend to know what happened between you and Sesshoumaru to make you guys hate each other so much, but he’s not… he’s not like that toward me.” she paused for a moment as she thought something over. “Maybe I can talk to him and--”
“No!” he said more harshly than he intended, but quickly rallied, “Look, I doubt that there’s anything you or anyone else can do to change how Sesshoumaru and I feel about each other. To him I’m a mark of disgrace on his so-called noble blood. Nothing can ever change that.” he told her, resentment clear in his tone. “Besides that’s not the issue anyway. I just… I don‘t understand why you would want to be friends with someone like him. I don‘t like him hanging around you.”
Kagome shrugged lightly. “I know he was really mean to you, to all of us at one point,” she began, knowing that what she was saying was a huge understatement. Trying to kill someone goes a little beyond just being mean after all.
“But, I think everyone deserves a second chance. I think you know that just as well as I do.” she finished, giving him a serious but caring look.
‘Kikyou…’ the other miko’s name whispered through his mind. How many chances had he given her? How many had Kagome?
The hanyou blinked slowly as he felt his shoulders sag in what could only be defeat. This wasn’t going the way he’d planned. Still, there was just one more thing he wanted, no, needed to know. He probably wouldn’t like the answer, but he knew he had to ask anyway.
“Kagome…?” he started and she could practically feel his awkwardness as if it was her own, “How… how do you really feel about Sesshoumaru?”
The miko’s eyes widened visibly. “I-I… what do you mean by that?” she rambled, clearly flustered by the unexpected question.
Inuyasha narrowed his eyes. She always gave him a direct, if not angry, answer when he asked her about Kouga.
“You know exactly what I mean!” he said leaning a bit closer to prevent her from looking away.
Annoyed by his tone, Kagome folded her arms over her chest. Inuyasha watched with faint interest as her portion of rosary slid down her arm before being swallowed up by the oversized sleeve of her haori.
“Not that it’s any of your business, but it’s not what you‘re thinking! Sesshoumaru and I are just friends. Even if…” she trailed off, a heavy blush bleeding into her cheeks.
Staring off into space, her eyes became slightly glassy and she seemed to turn something over in her mind. After a moment, she gave herself a light shake before continuing, “We’re just friends. You and I both know he doesn’t feel anything more than that for me, so it doesn’t really matter how I feel about him.”
The evasiveness of her answer was not lost on him, and he felt a his own spike of annoyance. “Now you’re avoiding questions!” he all but growled, making no attempt to hide his frustration.
“I’m not avoiding any-- wait what are you talking about?” she asked, her eyes narrowing in suspicion. Had he been talking to Sesshoumaru about her?
Feeling even more uncomfortable now, the hanyou looked away from her. “Nothing.” he answered quickly before abruptly rising to his feet. “I gotta go.” he said before she could question him further. “I’ll see you later.”
Kagome didn’t get a chance to get a final word in before the hanyou pushed himself off the ground and bounded away from her. She could only sigh and shake her head. It was like Kouga all over again. It was nice to know that he still cared about her, but in this case he was being completely ridiculous! Sesshoumaru wasn’t in love with her. He barely even liked her. In fact, it was entirely possible that he didn’t actually like her at all and was just being nice to her because of Rin. The thought caused her to frown. What if that was true?
Now that she thought about it, it made all the sense in the world. Sesshoumaru was a logical person, and it was only logical to be nice, or rather to tolerate someone who was taking care of your… well Rin wasn’t actually his… his anything, but he did seem to care for her.
She exhaled heavily before leaning back against the sturdy wall of her hut. Why did the idea that he might not like her make her feel so bad? Maybe Inuyasha was onto something. Maybe she was subconsciously giving something away, and he was trying to protect her; keep her from getting hurt… or making a fool of herself.
The pang she felt at the idea that Sesshoumaru might not like her, seemed to indicate that it was entirely possible that she just might like the guy. Really like him.
It was a scary thought.
“Not again…” she breathed miserably to herself. She couldn’t do this to herself again. The last time she went down this road, it did not end the way she had expected it to. A faint sense of foreboding settled into her chest.
Attempting to calm herself, the miko allowed her eyes to close, and for a moment she just concentrated on the sounds of distant birds, and the feel of her chest as it rose and fell each time she breathed.
‘I’m probably just being silly.’ she finally decided. ‘I’m just… just lonely and--’ she allowed her thoughts to trail off and sighed again.
Whatever the case, it would probably not end well for her. If she was in a different situation she could simply start avoiding Sesshoumaru, at least for a little while. If she was developing deeper feelings for him, it was probably a good idea to try and stop it right now before it got too serious. But Sesshoumaru came and went as he pleased, and since she was looking after Rin, she couldn’t exactly tell him to stop coming around. Not that he’d listen anyway.
‘What should I do.’ she wondered as she stared blankly into the horizon.
To her surprise, her question was answered. A whispering voice caressed her ears so lightly she could not tell whether it was simply a trick of the wind against her hair, or her own overactive imagination. Whatever it was, its familiarity caused goose pimples to ripple down her arms and across the back of her neck.
‘Ye must always follow your heart Kagome, for it will never mislead ye.’
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Thick dark clouds were gathering in the night sky. The wind was cool and the scent of impending rain filled the moist air. Short blades of grass rustled quietly against his dark boots as Sesshoumaru made his way toward the northern end of the miko’s village. He had gone to her hut moments ago only to discover that she was not there. Ah-Un had been stretched across the ground blocking the entryway. At his presence, the dragon immediately moved aside allowing him to peer inside where his ward was already asleep.
The miko’s scent was still quite strong so he realized that she had departed only a short time ago. Following the trail of her scent, he found himself heading north. He had only traveled a short distance before he detected another scent mingled in with the miko’s and understanding immediately washed over him.
‘Flowers… and graveyard soil…’ he mused mentally.
As the woman’s diminutive form came into view, the daiyoukai paused in his steps, considering whether or not he should leave her be. There was a small shrine before her, and she was seated next to a fairly recent grave.
“I’m not crying.” Kagome announced quietly, knowing that he would hear her in spite of the distance between them.
Having felt him pause some distance away, she thought he might have stopped so as to avoid seeing her cry. She suspected that the scent of tears was unpleasant to him. It was to Inuyasha anyway, so she could only guess that he felt the same way.
“I am aware of that.” she heard him answer, his voice sounding closer than she thought he was a moment ago.
Soon, the daiyoukai found himself standing a few feet behind her. He could see a large collection of flowers resting upon the dark soil, the miko still absently twirling one between her fingers.
“I couldn’t bring myself to come before tonight.” she admitted, guilt saturating her tone.
“I am… certain the old miko would understand.” the words slipped from his lips before he could give much thought to them.
He felt his shoulders stiffened unpleasantly. He, Sesshoumaru, was by no means accustomed to providing words of comfort. As her friend however, he could only assume it was appropriate to do such things. Still, it was extremely foreign, and not entirely pleasant for him. His discomfiture however, was quickly washed away when the miko turned to him and smiled.
“I suppose you’re right.” she told him, her eyes brightening as they found his. She continued to stare up at him for a long moment before she finally turned away. She mumbled a quiet prayer before placing the final flower upon the grave. Unfolding her legs, the woman then stood, her eyes still fixed on the freshly picked flowers.
“Do you wish to be alone?” he heard himself ask.
“No.” she answered without hesitation. “I just… I couldn’t sleep; and I wanted to feel close to her again.” she said as she turned to him, her features contorted as if in confusion. “If that makes any sense.” she finished as she began to brush debris from her hakama.
“It is understandable.” he said quietly.
“So you don’t think I’m crazy then?”
She saw him raise a brow. “The sanity of a woman who can slay an enormous spider youkai, and yet is fearful of a tiny mortal arachnid is at probably questionble at best.”
A pleasant little chuckle was his response before the miko’s attention was drawn to the small square of paper in her hand; a picture of the old miko. She stared at it for a time, and he was left with the impression that she was carrying on a mental conversation with her departed mentor. He watched with veiled interest as a gentle smile found the miko’s lips before she raised the picture to her lips and placed a light kiss upon it.
She then looked up at him giving him a sheepish smile, and then tucked the picture into the folds of her haori.
Silence stretched out between them, and Kagome soon looked away, her eyes focusing the darkened sky.
“I think it’s going to rain.” she finally spoke up. “Would you…” she looked at him again, a slight blush darkening her cheeks. “would you mind walking back with me?”
The demon lord did not answer right away, and Kagome was just about to retract her question.
“Come.” he said before she could speak.
Smiling, the miko quickly made her way to his side as he turned back toward the direction he had just come from. She fell into step beside him folding her hands into her sleeves as a cool breeze chilled her exposed skin.
In spite of her tranquil appearance, Kagome’s mind was weighted with various disconcerting thoughts. Her mind kept circling around three particular subjects: Her earlier conversation with Inuyasha. The memory of Kaede’s words, and… she glanced over at the demon lord before quickly looking away, hoping he hadn’t seen her.
Now that he was here, the idea that he might not like her was even scarier than it had been when she’d first thought of it. Although, she allowed, the fact that he was with her now should indicate some level of… well… something. If he was just coming to check on Rin, he could have done that already. He had apparently followed her scent to Kaede’s grave, but why? He hadn’t really told her what he wanted.
She fought the urge to furrow her brow in thought. Soon, her familiar little hut came back into view, and a quiet sigh passed through her lips.
“You are troubled.” the demon lord stated abruptly, and Kagome immediately looked up at him.
She forced a small smile before saying, “I wouldn’t say troubled exactly. I just have a few things on my mind.”
The inu lord continued to look straight ahead. He could imagine that she was still mourning over the loss of her mentor, and he also realized that she might be concerned over the recent rumors, but something at the back of his mind suggested that there was something more.
“What things?” he wondered aloud.
They were just outside the hut now, and Kagome turned to look at him. She wanted to talk to him, but she was suddenly feeling very nervous. The conversation she’d had with Inuyasha was still fresh in her mind, and there were so many questions she wanted to ask.
“Just things.” she answered evasively, not quite concealing the edginess in her tone.
“I will not repeat myself miko.” he returned, and she could hear the impatience in his voice.
“Pushy.” she complained in a low murmur as she looked away from him. Before he could respond to her subtle verbal attack on his person the miko began, “Did you talk to Inuyasha recently?”
Barely suppressing a wince, Kagome refused to meet his eyes. The question had slipped from her mouth so quickly, she nearly shuddered when she heard it spoken outside of the safety of her mind.
The demon lord stared down on her. He had not expected her to ask such a thing.
“There was an exchange.” he stated blandly.
“Humph.” she breathed quietly, unsure of what to say next. “I talked to him today myself.” she confessed after a moment. Still refusing to look at him she hesitantly continued, “I… I think he has the wrong idea about our friendship.”
“Explain.” he said when the miko said nothing further.
Kagome swallowed dryly. “He doesn’t want me to be friends with you…” she said uneasily, her refusal to meet his gaze causing her to miss the slight frown that creased his brows following her words.
She shrugged lightly. “He’s like a kid with a toy. He doesn’t want me, but he doesn’t want anyone else to have me either.”
As soon as she finished speaking, a heavy gasp escaped the miko’s lips. She placed her hands over her mouth and looked at him with wide brown eyes.
“I-I didn’t mean… not that you would want… I-I mean of course you don’t want me!” she rambled, slapping a hand on either side of her flushed face. Turning away from him as quickly as she could, Kagome mentally cursed herself for her thoughtless words. That was possibly the worst and most embarrassing thing she could possibly have said.
Sesshoumaru could practically feel her discomfiture, and while he found it fairly amusing, he could not understand why she seemed so embarrassed.
“You find the idea that I might desire you distressing?”
Kagome whirled around, her eyes widening further when she discovered how close he was to her.
“N-No!” she answered immediately. “Of course not! It’s just… just silly! You wouldn’t… I mean you don’t…” she faltered as she became helplessly ensnared in his intense golden gaze.
Feeling increasingly nervous, Kagome attempted to back away but her escape was halted when a clawed hand wrapped around her left arm. Somehow he managed to miss her sleeve entirely, his warm fingers wrapping around her bare arm as he gave her a slight tug. Stumbling forward, the miko practically fell against his armor plated chest and the demon lord made no attempt to help her right herself. Hopelessly spellbound, and physically hindered, Kagome could do nothing but stare up at him. She realized quite distantly that if he suddenly decided to move, she would topple over and fall on the ground.
Suppressing as much of her apprehension as she could, she placed her remaining hand on his armor to steady herself while she stepped a bit closer to plant her feet more firmly beneath her. Before she could move her hand away, that one was captured as well. A firm but gentle hand was placed over hers, and Kagome shuddered at the feel of his warm fingers as they slowly wrapped around her wrist.
A quiet, unbidden whimper escaped her lips, and Kagome drew her bottom lip between her teeth biting down lightly to prevent herself from making another sound.
Through the thick, dizzying haze of his warmth and the feel of his hands on her bare flesh, Kagome eventually remembered that they had been having a discussion about… something. She didn’t know how much time passed before it came back to her.
“It is silly… isn’t it?” her voice came out in a shuddering whisper.
Her word had barely been spoken before the clouds finally opened up and the rain began to fall. The downpour was almost instantaneous, but it somehow did not disturb the strange, quiet mood between them.
With an unusual interest, the demon lord watched a particular drop of water as it fell off the ends of the miko’s bangs. It ran a slow trail down her lightly flushed cheek, making its way to the edge of her jaw. After a moment or two, it finally dropped off to soak into her haori.
“You should go inside.” he said so quietly the miko barely picked up his words.
“But I--”
“You will become ill.” he cut her off.
“O-okay.” she agreed dazedly. She felt each of his hands tighten ever so slightly before he let her go and stepped away. With the loss of his body heat, Kagome suddenly felt extremely cold so she wrapped her arms around herself to try and fight off the chill.
“We will talk later.” he promised before he moved away from the hut’s entrance which he had been blocking.
“Okay.” Kagome said again. Unable to peel her eyes from his now wet face, she made her way to the door. “Umm… I guess I’ll see you later then.”
“Tomorrow.” he corrected before turning away.
The miko watch from just inside the doorway as his silhouetted form shrank and disappeared into the cool wet night.
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Alright my lovelies, another chapter completed. Hope you all enjoyed.
Unanswered Questions
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Collecting her large basket of dried herbs, her mortar and pestle, Kagome used her elbow to move the straw panel door out of the way so that she could sit outside. It was a beautiful day and she was not about to spend in inside the stuffy confines of the little hut. Finding her usual spot near the doorway, the young miko lowered herself to the ground and placed the basket next to her. Her mortar and pestle nestled in the small space between her crossed legs, Kagome set to the tedious task of preparing herbs for medication.
Several yards away, Inuyasha skidded to a stop. He stood on a grassy embankment just inside the perimeter of the village. From where he stood he could see Kagome sitting outside the small hut which was now essentially her home. Radiant beams of sunlight slipped through sparse clouds bathing her in golden luminosity while dapples of shade peppered the area around her. It was almost as if the glowing yellow orb thought to draw his attention to her alone.
Humph, as if he needed the sun to do that.
A small basket was sitting next to her while her legs were crossed and folded and in front of her, a small mortar sitting in her lap. She was grinding herbs, he realized somewhat vacantly. He had seen women perform the mundane task before, but the chore appeared oddly enthralling now. Entranced, the hanyou watched the deft, rhythmic moves of her wrist as dried leaves were rendered into a fine powder. A gentle smile was playing about the corners of her lips and even from this distance he could hear that she was humming quietly to herself.
She was… beautiful.
A part of him had always known that but…
“Damn it.” he swore quietly to himself.
A delicate breeze ruffled her long dark hair, and his breath caught in his throat. It was as if a haze had been lifted from his eyes and he was now seeing her clearly for the first time. She was absolutely breathtaking! What was more, was that he KNEW her. She wasn’t just physically pretty, she had this personality that just drew people to her. She had a way of bringing joy to everything and everyone she touched. Why hadn’t he paid more attention before? Maybe… maybe he hadn’t wanted to. How could he? He was still in love with someone else.
Was he… in love with Kagome too?
His eyes fell to a small patch of grass in front of him.
‘I don’t know…’ he answered himself. ‘…maybe. Probably.’ he thought, a guilty pang settling into his belly like a heavy weight. How could he be in love with two women? He felt his brows draw together in a slight frown. It was so confusing, but he couldn’t help the way he was feeling. If he could have decided between them, he would have done so a long time ago.
‘I’m so sorry, Inuyasha, but I just couldn’t wait for you.’
The memory of Kagome’s words echoed through his mind, tearing a melancholic sigh from his lips. Even if he was in love with Kagome, she’d never give him another chance now, and even if she did, he couldn’t betray Kikyou either.
Giving himself a slight shake, he suddenly looked up at her again, his features set in a determined scowl. Maybe it was the fact that he could never have her now which made him want to crush her against his chest and never let her go. Maybe he had been a fool for the past four years. Maybe he was just being selfish and greedy. He couldn’t really tell. All he knew was that love had been in very short supply in his life. Since he was just a pup, nearly everyone he had ever met wanted him dead simply because of the fact that he was hanyou, something he himself had no control over. There were so few people who cared for him; really, truly cared for him, and Kagome LOVED him. She’d said so herself.
His frown deepened slightly. There was no way he was going to let a bastard like Sesshoumaru take that away from him!
With that final thought, Inuyasha launched into the air.
Smiling and humming quietly to herself, the miko added a few more dried leaves to her little wooden bowl. She was thoroughly unsurprised when a pair of red haori-clad legs, and bare clawed feet entered her field of vision.
“I was wondering how long you were going to just stand there and watch me.” she said flippantly, but he could hear a hint of laughter in her voice.
The hanyou’s cheeks darkened slightly. “Who says I was watching you?
She gave him a knowing look. “So you’re saying you weren’t?”
He looked away from her then.
“Keh!” was about all he could seem to manage.
She laughed at him, a quiet lighthearted little giggle. The sound made his heart clench just a little bit more. Brushing the unwanted feeling aside, he dropped to a crouch in front of her shoving his hands into his sleeves. For a moment he simply watched her as she continued to work, many different thoughts bombarding his mind, but he could adequately voice none of them at the moment.
It was the silence that caught the miko’s attention and she paused in her motions to look up at him. Seeing the serious expression he was wearing, Kagome’s smile was replaced with a small frown.
“What’s wrong?”
Uncertain of how to proceed, the hanyou did not speak for a long time.
“Inuyasha?” the miko prompted, her brows knitted together in concern.
Inuyasha stared at her. She actually cared about what he had to say. Her earnest expression was not something that could be feigned. And this was why he couldn’t let her fall in love with Sesshoumaru. Kagome was a loving and caring person, and Sesshoumaru was a bastard! If she fell in love with him, she’d only end up getting hurt. Plus… plus if she fell in love with him…
“Inuyasha?” she asked again, the frown deepening on her pretty face. He was about to speak when Kagome placed the bowl next to her and moved a bit closer to him. The movement caused her sweet, familiar scent to waft to him on the breeze and he felt himself swallow convulsively.
‘Damn it!’ he swore mentally. Why did his life have to be so hard… and unfair?
“It’s… Sesshoumaru,” he finally grumbled.
“Oh.” she said quietly, both understanding and apprehension washing over her. “Did you guys get into a fight?” she asked carefully.
He looked off to the side. “Not exactly…” he mumbled.
“Then what happened?” she asked as she angled herself so that she could see his eyes again. After an uneasy moment, he looked at her.
“Kagome… why…?” he began uneasily, “Why would you want to be friends with a guy like him?”
The miko sighed. She should have seen this coming. Again. “Inuyasha, I can’t even pretend to know what happened between you and Sesshoumaru to make you guys hate each other so much, but he’s not… he’s not like that toward me.” she paused for a moment as she thought something over. “Maybe I can talk to him and--”
“No!” he said more harshly than he intended, but quickly rallied, “Look, I doubt that there’s anything you or anyone else can do to change how Sesshoumaru and I feel about each other. To him I’m a mark of disgrace on his so-called noble blood. Nothing can ever change that.” he told her, resentment clear in his tone. “Besides that’s not the issue anyway. I just… I don‘t understand why you would want to be friends with someone like him. I don‘t like him hanging around you.”
Kagome shrugged lightly. “I know he was really mean to you, to all of us at one point,” she began, knowing that what she was saying was a huge understatement. Trying to kill someone goes a little beyond just being mean after all.
“But, I think everyone deserves a second chance. I think you know that just as well as I do.” she finished, giving him a serious but caring look.
‘Kikyou…’ the other miko’s name whispered through his mind. How many chances had he given her? How many had Kagome?
The hanyou blinked slowly as he felt his shoulders sag in what could only be defeat. This wasn’t going the way he’d planned. Still, there was just one more thing he wanted, no, needed to know. He probably wouldn’t like the answer, but he knew he had to ask anyway.
“Kagome…?” he started and she could practically feel his awkwardness as if it was her own, “How… how do you really feel about Sesshoumaru?”
The miko’s eyes widened visibly. “I-I… what do you mean by that?” she rambled, clearly flustered by the unexpected question.
Inuyasha narrowed his eyes. She always gave him a direct, if not angry, answer when he asked her about Kouga.
“You know exactly what I mean!” he said leaning a bit closer to prevent her from looking away.
Annoyed by his tone, Kagome folded her arms over her chest. Inuyasha watched with faint interest as her portion of rosary slid down her arm before being swallowed up by the oversized sleeve of her haori.
“Not that it’s any of your business, but it’s not what you‘re thinking! Sesshoumaru and I are just friends. Even if…” she trailed off, a heavy blush bleeding into her cheeks.
Staring off into space, her eyes became slightly glassy and she seemed to turn something over in her mind. After a moment, she gave herself a light shake before continuing, “We’re just friends. You and I both know he doesn’t feel anything more than that for me, so it doesn’t really matter how I feel about him.”
The evasiveness of her answer was not lost on him, and he felt a his own spike of annoyance. “Now you’re avoiding questions!” he all but growled, making no attempt to hide his frustration.
“I’m not avoiding any-- wait what are you talking about?” she asked, her eyes narrowing in suspicion. Had he been talking to Sesshoumaru about her?
Feeling even more uncomfortable now, the hanyou looked away from her. “Nothing.” he answered quickly before abruptly rising to his feet. “I gotta go.” he said before she could question him further. “I’ll see you later.”
Kagome didn’t get a chance to get a final word in before the hanyou pushed himself off the ground and bounded away from her. She could only sigh and shake her head. It was like Kouga all over again. It was nice to know that he still cared about her, but in this case he was being completely ridiculous! Sesshoumaru wasn’t in love with her. He barely even liked her. In fact, it was entirely possible that he didn’t actually like her at all and was just being nice to her because of Rin. The thought caused her to frown. What if that was true?
Now that she thought about it, it made all the sense in the world. Sesshoumaru was a logical person, and it was only logical to be nice, or rather to tolerate someone who was taking care of your… well Rin wasn’t actually his… his anything, but he did seem to care for her.
She exhaled heavily before leaning back against the sturdy wall of her hut. Why did the idea that he might not like her make her feel so bad? Maybe Inuyasha was onto something. Maybe she was subconsciously giving something away, and he was trying to protect her; keep her from getting hurt… or making a fool of herself.
The pang she felt at the idea that Sesshoumaru might not like her, seemed to indicate that it was entirely possible that she just might like the guy. Really like him.
It was a scary thought.
“Not again…” she breathed miserably to herself. She couldn’t do this to herself again. The last time she went down this road, it did not end the way she had expected it to. A faint sense of foreboding settled into her chest.
Attempting to calm herself, the miko allowed her eyes to close, and for a moment she just concentrated on the sounds of distant birds, and the feel of her chest as it rose and fell each time she breathed.
‘I’m probably just being silly.’ she finally decided. ‘I’m just… just lonely and--’ she allowed her thoughts to trail off and sighed again.
Whatever the case, it would probably not end well for her. If she was in a different situation she could simply start avoiding Sesshoumaru, at least for a little while. If she was developing deeper feelings for him, it was probably a good idea to try and stop it right now before it got too serious. But Sesshoumaru came and went as he pleased, and since she was looking after Rin, she couldn’t exactly tell him to stop coming around. Not that he’d listen anyway.
‘What should I do.’ she wondered as she stared blankly into the horizon.
To her surprise, her question was answered. A whispering voice caressed her ears so lightly she could not tell whether it was simply a trick of the wind against her hair, or her own overactive imagination. Whatever it was, its familiarity caused goose pimples to ripple down her arms and across the back of her neck.
‘Ye must always follow your heart Kagome, for it will never mislead ye.’
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Thick dark clouds were gathering in the night sky. The wind was cool and the scent of impending rain filled the moist air. Short blades of grass rustled quietly against his dark boots as Sesshoumaru made his way toward the northern end of the miko’s village. He had gone to her hut moments ago only to discover that she was not there. Ah-Un had been stretched across the ground blocking the entryway. At his presence, the dragon immediately moved aside allowing him to peer inside where his ward was already asleep.
The miko’s scent was still quite strong so he realized that she had departed only a short time ago. Following the trail of her scent, he found himself heading north. He had only traveled a short distance before he detected another scent mingled in with the miko’s and understanding immediately washed over him.
‘Flowers… and graveyard soil…’ he mused mentally.
As the woman’s diminutive form came into view, the daiyoukai paused in his steps, considering whether or not he should leave her be. There was a small shrine before her, and she was seated next to a fairly recent grave.
“I’m not crying.” Kagome announced quietly, knowing that he would hear her in spite of the distance between them.
Having felt him pause some distance away, she thought he might have stopped so as to avoid seeing her cry. She suspected that the scent of tears was unpleasant to him. It was to Inuyasha anyway, so she could only guess that he felt the same way.
“I am aware of that.” she heard him answer, his voice sounding closer than she thought he was a moment ago.
Soon, the daiyoukai found himself standing a few feet behind her. He could see a large collection of flowers resting upon the dark soil, the miko still absently twirling one between her fingers.
“I couldn’t bring myself to come before tonight.” she admitted, guilt saturating her tone.
“I am… certain the old miko would understand.” the words slipped from his lips before he could give much thought to them.
He felt his shoulders stiffened unpleasantly. He, Sesshoumaru, was by no means accustomed to providing words of comfort. As her friend however, he could only assume it was appropriate to do such things. Still, it was extremely foreign, and not entirely pleasant for him. His discomfiture however, was quickly washed away when the miko turned to him and smiled.
“I suppose you’re right.” she told him, her eyes brightening as they found his. She continued to stare up at him for a long moment before she finally turned away. She mumbled a quiet prayer before placing the final flower upon the grave. Unfolding her legs, the woman then stood, her eyes still fixed on the freshly picked flowers.
“Do you wish to be alone?” he heard himself ask.
“No.” she answered without hesitation. “I just… I couldn’t sleep; and I wanted to feel close to her again.” she said as she turned to him, her features contorted as if in confusion. “If that makes any sense.” she finished as she began to brush debris from her hakama.
“It is understandable.” he said quietly.
“So you don’t think I’m crazy then?”
She saw him raise a brow. “The sanity of a woman who can slay an enormous spider youkai, and yet is fearful of a tiny mortal arachnid is at probably questionble at best.”
A pleasant little chuckle was his response before the miko’s attention was drawn to the small square of paper in her hand; a picture of the old miko. She stared at it for a time, and he was left with the impression that she was carrying on a mental conversation with her departed mentor. He watched with veiled interest as a gentle smile found the miko’s lips before she raised the picture to her lips and placed a light kiss upon it.
She then looked up at him giving him a sheepish smile, and then tucked the picture into the folds of her haori.
Silence stretched out between them, and Kagome soon looked away, her eyes focusing the darkened sky.
“I think it’s going to rain.” she finally spoke up. “Would you…” she looked at him again, a slight blush darkening her cheeks. “would you mind walking back with me?”
The demon lord did not answer right away, and Kagome was just about to retract her question.
“Come.” he said before she could speak.
Smiling, the miko quickly made her way to his side as he turned back toward the direction he had just come from. She fell into step beside him folding her hands into her sleeves as a cool breeze chilled her exposed skin.
In spite of her tranquil appearance, Kagome’s mind was weighted with various disconcerting thoughts. Her mind kept circling around three particular subjects: Her earlier conversation with Inuyasha. The memory of Kaede’s words, and… she glanced over at the demon lord before quickly looking away, hoping he hadn’t seen her.
Now that he was here, the idea that he might not like her was even scarier than it had been when she’d first thought of it. Although, she allowed, the fact that he was with her now should indicate some level of… well… something. If he was just coming to check on Rin, he could have done that already. He had apparently followed her scent to Kaede’s grave, but why? He hadn’t really told her what he wanted.
She fought the urge to furrow her brow in thought. Soon, her familiar little hut came back into view, and a quiet sigh passed through her lips.
“You are troubled.” the demon lord stated abruptly, and Kagome immediately looked up at him.
She forced a small smile before saying, “I wouldn’t say troubled exactly. I just have a few things on my mind.”
The inu lord continued to look straight ahead. He could imagine that she was still mourning over the loss of her mentor, and he also realized that she might be concerned over the recent rumors, but something at the back of his mind suggested that there was something more.
“What things?” he wondered aloud.
They were just outside the hut now, and Kagome turned to look at him. She wanted to talk to him, but she was suddenly feeling very nervous. The conversation she’d had with Inuyasha was still fresh in her mind, and there were so many questions she wanted to ask.
“Just things.” she answered evasively, not quite concealing the edginess in her tone.
“I will not repeat myself miko.” he returned, and she could hear the impatience in his voice.
“Pushy.” she complained in a low murmur as she looked away from him. Before he could respond to her subtle verbal attack on his person the miko began, “Did you talk to Inuyasha recently?”
Barely suppressing a wince, Kagome refused to meet his eyes. The question had slipped from her mouth so quickly, she nearly shuddered when she heard it spoken outside of the safety of her mind.
The demon lord stared down on her. He had not expected her to ask such a thing.
“There was an exchange.” he stated blandly.
“Humph.” she breathed quietly, unsure of what to say next. “I talked to him today myself.” she confessed after a moment. Still refusing to look at him she hesitantly continued, “I… I think he has the wrong idea about our friendship.”
“Explain.” he said when the miko said nothing further.
Kagome swallowed dryly. “He doesn’t want me to be friends with you…” she said uneasily, her refusal to meet his gaze causing her to miss the slight frown that creased his brows following her words.
She shrugged lightly. “He’s like a kid with a toy. He doesn’t want me, but he doesn’t want anyone else to have me either.”
As soon as she finished speaking, a heavy gasp escaped the miko’s lips. She placed her hands over her mouth and looked at him with wide brown eyes.
“I-I didn’t mean… not that you would want… I-I mean of course you don’t want me!” she rambled, slapping a hand on either side of her flushed face. Turning away from him as quickly as she could, Kagome mentally cursed herself for her thoughtless words. That was possibly the worst and most embarrassing thing she could possibly have said.
Sesshoumaru could practically feel her discomfiture, and while he found it fairly amusing, he could not understand why she seemed so embarrassed.
“You find the idea that I might desire you distressing?”
Kagome whirled around, her eyes widening further when she discovered how close he was to her.
“N-No!” she answered immediately. “Of course not! It’s just… just silly! You wouldn’t… I mean you don’t…” she faltered as she became helplessly ensnared in his intense golden gaze.
Feeling increasingly nervous, Kagome attempted to back away but her escape was halted when a clawed hand wrapped around her left arm. Somehow he managed to miss her sleeve entirely, his warm fingers wrapping around her bare arm as he gave her a slight tug. Stumbling forward, the miko practically fell against his armor plated chest and the demon lord made no attempt to help her right herself. Hopelessly spellbound, and physically hindered, Kagome could do nothing but stare up at him. She realized quite distantly that if he suddenly decided to move, she would topple over and fall on the ground.
Suppressing as much of her apprehension as she could, she placed her remaining hand on his armor to steady herself while she stepped a bit closer to plant her feet more firmly beneath her. Before she could move her hand away, that one was captured as well. A firm but gentle hand was placed over hers, and Kagome shuddered at the feel of his warm fingers as they slowly wrapped around her wrist.
A quiet, unbidden whimper escaped her lips, and Kagome drew her bottom lip between her teeth biting down lightly to prevent herself from making another sound.
Through the thick, dizzying haze of his warmth and the feel of his hands on her bare flesh, Kagome eventually remembered that they had been having a discussion about… something. She didn’t know how much time passed before it came back to her.
“It is silly… isn’t it?” her voice came out in a shuddering whisper.
Her word had barely been spoken before the clouds finally opened up and the rain began to fall. The downpour was almost instantaneous, but it somehow did not disturb the strange, quiet mood between them.
With an unusual interest, the demon lord watched a particular drop of water as it fell off the ends of the miko’s bangs. It ran a slow trail down her lightly flushed cheek, making its way to the edge of her jaw. After a moment or two, it finally dropped off to soak into her haori.
“You should go inside.” he said so quietly the miko barely picked up his words.
“But I--”
“You will become ill.” he cut her off.
“O-okay.” she agreed dazedly. She felt each of his hands tighten ever so slightly before he let her go and stepped away. With the loss of his body heat, Kagome suddenly felt extremely cold so she wrapped her arms around herself to try and fight off the chill.
“We will talk later.” he promised before he moved away from the hut’s entrance which he had been blocking.
“Okay.” Kagome said again. Unable to peel her eyes from his now wet face, she made her way to the door. “Umm… I guess I’ll see you later then.”
“Tomorrow.” he corrected before turning away.
The miko watch from just inside the doorway as his silhouetted form shrank and disappeared into the cool wet night.
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Alright my lovelies, another chapter completed. Hope you all enjoyed.