InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Remnants of the Spider ❯ A Sinister Pact ( Chapter 51 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: Lady Sianna 
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Romance / Drama / Adventure / Action | Type: Divergence | Uploaded On: 02.03.2010 | Pages: 3 | Words: 4.1K | Visits: 366 | Status: Work In Progress
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Romance / Drama / Adventure / Action | Type: Divergence | Uploaded On: 02.03.2010 | Pages: 3 | Words: 4.1K | Visits: 366 | Status: Work In Progress
Remnants of the Spider
A Sinister Pact
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The thick blanket of night unfurled languidly over the land, loosing cool, crisp breezes upon those that moved and lived beneath its dazzling canopy of stars. The silence, interrupted only by the soft crumpling of grass beneath sandaled and booted feet and the gentle stirring of the surrounding trees, enveloped the miko and the daiyoukai, each having settled into their own thoughts.
In her mind, Sesshoumaru’s words played over and over on what seemed to be an endless cycle. ‘I need you… I have agreed to stay with you… in return, I would ask that you would do the same.’
She had never, in a million years expected such words from him. It was still a little scary to think about, not only because of the decision he’d asked her to make, but because of his apparent feelings for her. When he’d told her that he needed her, there hadn’t been a trace of hesitation or uncertainty in his voice. Maybe, maybe he hadn’t even known himself until he’d said it out loud, and somehow that made it that much more frightening. Did he really care for her that much?
“What are you thinking of?” Sesshoumaru’s voice suddenly, almost violently wrested her from her thoughts and she started visibly before turning to look at him. Staring straight ahead, his features were relaxed and bland. He appeared both content and indifferent, though she noticed that he did not seem to exude the air of icy detachment she had always associated with him.
A soft smile found her lips. “You.” she finally answered. “I was thinking of you.”
“Oh?” he wanted to know, a single brow lifting into the shadows provided by his bangs. “Anything I should be concerned about?” he asked, and she absently noted that he did not actually sound as if he cared. She could not help but be reminded that this was in fact not the case as evidenced by his earlier words. It was a strange and unsettling truth, yet she felt her smile growing larger even as she turned her gaze away from him.
“Probably not.” the miko answered teasingly, striving to sound as jaded as he.
“Probably?” he prompted.
Kagome executed a delicate before pausing to collect a few fallen branches that had been piled at the base of a nearby tree. She shot him a glance over her shoulder and noticed that, even though he was still facing forward, his eyes had shifted to stare at her. The branches she’d selected now securely in her grasp, she turned back to him feeling almost shy. She wasn’t really sure what she wanted to say, so she bided her time by shuffling the dried branches in her hand before then placing them beneath her arm. He waited patiently, the delicate breezes stirring his hair and clothes.
“Sesshoumaru,” she began, but then hesitated, almost afraid of voicing the recent thoughts that had entered her mind. “I… I think I may have mentioned this before, but…” she trailed off again, shuffling where she stood before pressing on. “I--I thought you didn’t like humans.”
A shoulder lifted, the barest hint of a shrug as he continued to stand there, almost glowing in the spill of moonlight that filtered through the trees surrounding them. “And you believe this has changed?” he asked, a note of genuine curiosity coloring his voice.
The miko appeared a little surprised. “I… well, there’s Rin, and,” she trailed off again and peered at him through thick dark lashes. “And, you seem to like me pretty well.”
Very casually, he folded his arms behind his back and turned away from her, his gaze angling toward the stars. “I no longer see you as simply human.”
She watched him more openly now and noticed the faint furrow as it gently creased his brow. Somehow she could tell that he was attempting to order his thoughts so she waited to see what he would say. “I am… aware of your humanity.” he said at last. “But there are many things that comprise who you are. The fact that you are human… it is no longer of any consequence to me.”
Kagome smiled at that. She supposed that was his own fancy way of saying that she was an exception to the rule. She wasn’t really sure what, if anything she had done to gain this rare acceptance from him, but it was, somehow even more flattering to know that he had made this allowance just for her. ‘Well,’ she amended mentally, ‘Rin and me.’ But it was still a pretty exclusive group.
Suddenly, not really understanding why she needed to know, Kagome cautiously asked, “Sesshoumaru… have you, have you ever been in love before?”
The daiyoukai gazed at her from the corner of his eyes. The question was mildly surprising, yet not entirely unanticipated. “No.” he answered with ease. “Love,” he began, and Kagome trembled at the sound of that word from his lips. “Is not common among youkai. Among lesser species, it is all but unheard of, and among higher species and daiyoukai, the concept is understood, but it is rarely if ever sought out.”
“Oh,” she said quietly, looking down to watch her feet as they shifted in the tall grass. She sounded a little sad when she asked. “Why is that?”
“Most see it as a sign of weakness. For demons, power is valued above all else, and deep attachments to others are often seen not only as an unnecessary distraction, but a potential liability as well.”
Looking somewhat crestfallen, Kagome remembered all the times Naraku had tried to take advantage of peoples’ feelings of love and trust. With Kikyou and Inuyasha, the results had been disastrous. With Kohaku and Sango, the results had been equally devastating. He’d tried to take advantage of her own feelings as well, but, now that she was thinking of it, he’d never really had any success in turning her against… well, anyone. In fact, she realized, a bit surprised, as she and their little group of shard hunters grew closer and closer, Naraku’s attempts at manipulation became less and less effective.
She supposed that there was an unhappy, bitter truth to what Sesshoumaru had said, but it didn’t always work that way. Naraku’s schemes didn’t always work, especially when the bonds between them became stronger.
Still, the miko felt the faintly irrational weight of guilt as it settled heavily upon her heart. Sesshoumaru hadn’t said anything about having fallen in love with her, but… the way things were going, it was within the realm of possibility that he eventually would, especially if she decided to stay with him. She didn’t want to be the cause of him doing something he didn’t really want to do.
“And what about you?” she asked, not sure she wanted to know the answer. “Do you think love is a weakness?”
She heard a soft sigh escape him, but he only returned his gaze to the stars, his posture still seemingly relaxed, his features calm and cool. For a long time he did not answer, and she felt her heart sink as she resigned herself to the idea that he probably wasn’t going to.
“At one point I did.” he finally told her, his voice sounding far away.
Considering his own words, he mentally weighed the truth they held against his long standing beliefs. Now, he was not entirely certain where he stood on the matter. His eyes clouding over with the intangible veil of memory, he recalled the times he had saved Rin from the perils that sought to end her fragile life. He remembered how furious he’d been when Naraku had kidnapped her, recalled how driven he’d been, in spite of his cool demeanor, to get her back. At the time, he’d told himself that it was merely because she was his charge. She was his to protect and he would not have his honor impugned by allowing harm to befall her, but of course, it had always been more than that.
He cared for her, had done so almost from the very beginning. He had not realized it, or perhaps he had been unwilling to admit it. Whatever the case, it was true all the same.
He turned, very slowly to look at the miko who currently shared his company. He wondered what he would do to ensure her safety. To what lengths would he really go to make sure that danger remained far, far away from her?
Perhaps… perhaps love was a weakness, but then again, anything that could act as a weakness, could also provide an opportunity to become stronger as well.
She was silent for a long time, her eyes staring blankly at the ground.
“And what of you?” the daiyoukai asked, surprising himself as much as her.
“What?” she asked, startled.
“Have you ever been in love before?”
The question sent a very unpleasant chill down Kagome’s spine, but somehow she managed not to fidget. She was sure he had known about her and Inuyasha. What would he say if she told him she had been in love with his brother?
“I…” she began haltingly. “I thought I was once.” she said, only realizing the truth in her words once they were spoken.
“And now you are uncertain?”
This time she did fidget. “Inuyasha…” she said, the name falling from her lips before she could prevent it. Taking a deep breath, she attempted to calm her now rattled nerves before she spoke up again. “I think,” she began, her voice cracking a little. “Inuyasha… he was my hero.” she admitted softly, her lips curving into a small smile. “He was always so brave and strong. He was always so protective of me, and had saved my life so many times. Then there was the way he was always jealous of Kouga… I think, I think maybe I got confused. That maybe I didn’t really know what love was, you know. I’m still not sure if I know what it is now but…” she trailed off, her eyes taking on a far away look as a tendril of dark hair, coaxed by the soft breeze, danced against the delicate curve of her neck. “Now that I’m really thinking about it, I think what I felt for Inuyasha was more of…a sort of possessiveness.”
The miko did not see the sharp glance that was cast upon her following her quietly spoken confession. Instead she continued to stare blankly into the distance as she silently considered her words, allowing them to really sink in for the very first time.
“Possessiveness?” the daiyoukai prompted when she did not seem inclined to say anything more.
She looked at him then and was only slightly surprised at how close he was now.
“Yeah, I think that’s what it was. When Inuyasha and I first met, he tried to kill me. Yet, I never really held it against him. For a while it was just the two of us, and even when the others joined, I was the only one he really went out of his way to protect. He acted like a jerk most of the time, but I could see through that to the person he really is.” she trailed off and gave another small shrug. “He’s really a good person on the inside you know. Anyway, when I found out about his vow to protect Kikyou, I felt so jealous. I guess I had just wanted to believe that I was special. Then, when Kikyou was brought back by that witch, Inuyasha renewed his vow to protect her and I…” she looked away from him then, guilt eating away at the pit of her belly as she recalled the less than charitable thoughts she’d had about the elder miko. “I know it’s selfish and really mean of me, but I remember thinking that it wasn’t right that he should promise to protect her. Even though she had been recreated and was able to move and think, she was still dead. I wondered why he would promise to protect her, when I was the one who really needed him. I was the one who was alive.”
Kagome felt the daiyoukai’s warmth as he moved closer to her but refused to look into his eyes, refused to face the judgment she feared to see there. She was so surprised when she felt the brush if his fingers against the underside of her jaw that she forgot to resist his efforts as he gently lifted her chin. When their eyes met, she saw no evidence of judgment, no disappointment or disapproval of any kind.
“Your desire was not selfish and your reasoning was sound.”
The miko gave a small sardonic smile. “Doesn’t make me feel any less guilty.”
“Hn.” the daiyoukai intoned blandly. Uncertain what, if anything he could do to assuage her guilt, he instead asked, “And what are your feelings toward the hanyou now?”
“I love him,” she admitted without hesitation. “But now, now I understand that it isn’t the kind of love I thought it was. It’s similar to what I feel for Miroku, Sango and Shippou, except it’s a little different. Not necessarily more intense… just… different.”
“I see.” the inu lord intoned and though there was no specific inflection in his voice, Kagome felt the need to reassure him.
“I don’t feel possessive of him anymore.” she said quickly. “I know he and Kikyou are going to be together and I don’t have a problem with that. After all, it’s the way it should have been all along.”
The demon said nothing to this and the silence unfurled between them. After the space of several breaths the miko asked, “Does it bother you?” Then realizing that her question was not clear she added, “I once thought I was in love with him…”
“It is of no consequence.” he spoke up before she could say anything more. “You have overlooked far greater atrocities leveled against your person by this Sesshoumaru, therefore your past affections for an inferior male specimen can be easily overlooked.”
It took the miko a moment to catch on to what he had said and when she did she frowned up at him. “Hey!” she managed, but was quickly arrested by the warm, slightly damp press of his lips against hers. Silencing immediately, Kagome instantly forgot the barbed comment he had so callously lobbed against her friend as the daiyoukai snaked his arms around her. By now he had kissed her a handful of times, yet each time was as surreal as the time before. Returning his embrace with the arm that was not wrapped around her small collection of firewood, she rose on sandaled toes to maintain the gentle seal of their lips.
Too soon for her liking, the demon lord parted from her lips and released her. A shy smile gracing her lips, the miko stepped back, turning away, no doubt to conceal the rosy hue that now graced her lovely face. The demon lord’s eyes remained fixed upon her, watching with interest as she tucked a few of her ebony tresses behind her ear. The desire to finish what they had started in the caves pressed insistently against the more wanton parts of his mind, (as well as parts below) but for the moment he would ignore it. The remaining members of their traveling party were drawing near and he had no desire to be interrupted again.
Resigning himself to the unhappy knowledge that he would have to wait for a more opportune time and location, the daiyoukai resumed his leisurely gate, the miko instantly falling in step at his side. Content to travel in silence, the pair continued to collect firewood until they came upon a small but suitable clearing. Once there, Kagome combined the dried branches they’d collected and started a fire.
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Swaddled in the thick white pelt that, as of late had nearly become a second skin for her, Izanami sat beneath the boughs of a small cherry tree, her shimmering green eyes staring glassily into the canopy of stars above her. Near to the young miko’s position, Mai and Akira sat in uncomfortable silence, each stealing glances not only at one another, but the young woman that sat between them.
As of late, she had become increasingly despondent and more antisocial than either female had ever seen her. She seemed to avoid anything beyond absolute solitude whenever possible, and even when she was forced to share the company of others, the miko tended to be mildly distracted. On this very evening, all attempts at conversation had fizzled out rather swiftly as Izanami gave little more than one word answers to any inquiry that was tossed her way, if in fact the miko answered at all. Even as her sentinel companions conversed among themselves in an attempt to draw her out, the miko remained silent, her inner thoughts a mystery to them as she stared blankly into the sky.
It seemed that her mourning over the mysterious Naraku was growing worse rather than better, and both females were at their wits ends as to what could be done about it. Her father, busy with the affairs of maintaining order in his house and lands, had not noticed the change as of yet while her mother, as usual remained up to her neck in the duties appended to a priestess of such immense power, that she was left with little opportunity to sleep, let alone notice the increasing dejection of her only daughter.
Perhaps the miko simply needed a bit more time. Feeling almost guilty, Mai lowered her head in thought. It occurred to her that maybe Naraku had not been the unsavory character she had pegged him for when they had first met. Apparently Izanami saw something in him, so it was conceivable that he had not been such a bad guy after all. Perhaps she should not have judged him so quickly.
“Lady Iza,” Akira spoke up, starting the cat youkai out of her thoughts. Slowly, as if waking from a trance, the miko looked at her. “The hour grows late my Lady. I believe that you should retire for the night.”
“Yes,” the miko agreed softly. Rising to her feet, she tightened the fur shawl over her shoulders, in spite of the warmth of the night air. “I believe the rest will do me a world of good.” she added, her small smile a distant echo of her normal exuberant demeanor.
Nodding, the hanyou stood as well and the trio filed back into the castle.
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The hour was late indeed and most of the castle’s residence had already bedded down for the night. As usual, the sentries responsible for the evening watch continued to make their rounds while all others were settling into the comfort of sleep.
Closing the shoji behind her, Izanami padded into her chamber, leisurely removing her outer robe and tossing it onto one of the many chests that housed her clothing. Making her way further into the room, she extinguished the soft glow of her lamps before lowering herself to her bed.
The crisp cool sheets of her futon were a welcome relief against the miko’s fevered skin. She had not realized how stifling the thick white fur could be until she removed it for her evening bath. The subtle, breathy sound of her tired sigh drifted into the stillness and the young miko closed her eyes.
‘Izanami…’
Her eyes fluttered opened, her heart racing at the sound of the unfamiliar voice. Her emerald gaze rapidly scanning the room, the female retrieved her precious pelt, drawing it up to her chin and fisting it tightly as she attempted to calm her frazzled nerves. “Who… who’s there?” she whispered fiercely, striving to sound more brave than she felt.
‘Come to me Izanami,’ the voice beaconed, its soft, masculine tone luring, seductive… dangerous.
The miko shot up in her bed, now certain the voice was not a product of her imagination. Frightened, she backed herself against the nearest wall, her eyes still frantically scanning the room for any signs of an intruder. “Who are you?!” she demanded, “Why are you here and what do you want from me?!”
‘Release me…’ the voice cajoled, its deep, alluring tenor lifting the hairs at the nape of her neck.
“Wh-what do you mean?”
‘Release me,’ the disembodied voice pressed on, ‘Release me and my fathomless power will become yours to wield as you see fit.’
The roar of her blood was loud in her ears as the female valiantly tamped down the instinctual urge to flee the room in terror. This voice was entirely foreign to her, though there seemed to be a vague familiarity to it as well. For the past few days, something she could not identify had been attempting to make itself known to her. Drifting just on the edge of her consciousness, the unnamed entity distracted her, sapped her ability to concentrate and managed to consume the entirety of her mind, seemingly without actually doing anything at all. Somehow she knew, this voice was connected to that entity. Perhaps it was the entity itself.
“Who…who are you?” she asked again. Her muscles were tense, ready to spring into action at the slightest provocation.
‘Is there no one you wish to see brought low?’ the voice asked instead of answering her question. ‘Is there no one deserving of your unrepressed wrath?’
Swallowing dryly, the female did not answer.
‘I know of your pain, Izanami. I know of your loss. I can feel the cold, empty space that resides in your heart. Someone was taken away from you, someone you cared for a great deal. Allow me to make it better, Izanami. Allow me to bring down the ones responsible for your anguish.’
“Yes…” the miko said quietly, a lone tear spilling down her cheek. “She… she killed him. The miko called Kagome… she killed my beloved Naraku.” her voice was a rasping whisper, her eyes distant and glazed over with unshed tears.
‘I will avenge him on your behalf, Izanami!’ the voice hissed vehemently. ‘But you must come to me. If you release me, my power will become yours to wield as you see fit. Do it, Izanami! Come to me!’
Her heart still racing, the miko clung to her pelt, her knuckles becoming increasingly pale from the strength of her hold. For a long time, Izanami did not speak, and while the voice remained silent as well, she knew its presence had not abandoned her. Her breathing became rapid as she thought of the wretched woman who had so cruelly murdered her love. Her eyes narrowed fiercely and the young miko whispered her reply.
“Yes. I will release you.”
___________________________________________________________ _____________
A Sinister Pact
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The thick blanket of night unfurled languidly over the land, loosing cool, crisp breezes upon those that moved and lived beneath its dazzling canopy of stars. The silence, interrupted only by the soft crumpling of grass beneath sandaled and booted feet and the gentle stirring of the surrounding trees, enveloped the miko and the daiyoukai, each having settled into their own thoughts.
In her mind, Sesshoumaru’s words played over and over on what seemed to be an endless cycle. ‘I need you… I have agreed to stay with you… in return, I would ask that you would do the same.’
She had never, in a million years expected such words from him. It was still a little scary to think about, not only because of the decision he’d asked her to make, but because of his apparent feelings for her. When he’d told her that he needed her, there hadn’t been a trace of hesitation or uncertainty in his voice. Maybe, maybe he hadn’t even known himself until he’d said it out loud, and somehow that made it that much more frightening. Did he really care for her that much?
“What are you thinking of?” Sesshoumaru’s voice suddenly, almost violently wrested her from her thoughts and she started visibly before turning to look at him. Staring straight ahead, his features were relaxed and bland. He appeared both content and indifferent, though she noticed that he did not seem to exude the air of icy detachment she had always associated with him.
A soft smile found her lips. “You.” she finally answered. “I was thinking of you.”
“Oh?” he wanted to know, a single brow lifting into the shadows provided by his bangs. “Anything I should be concerned about?” he asked, and she absently noted that he did not actually sound as if he cared. She could not help but be reminded that this was in fact not the case as evidenced by his earlier words. It was a strange and unsettling truth, yet she felt her smile growing larger even as she turned her gaze away from him.
“Probably not.” the miko answered teasingly, striving to sound as jaded as he.
“Probably?” he prompted.
Kagome executed a delicate before pausing to collect a few fallen branches that had been piled at the base of a nearby tree. She shot him a glance over her shoulder and noticed that, even though he was still facing forward, his eyes had shifted to stare at her. The branches she’d selected now securely in her grasp, she turned back to him feeling almost shy. She wasn’t really sure what she wanted to say, so she bided her time by shuffling the dried branches in her hand before then placing them beneath her arm. He waited patiently, the delicate breezes stirring his hair and clothes.
“Sesshoumaru,” she began, but then hesitated, almost afraid of voicing the recent thoughts that had entered her mind. “I… I think I may have mentioned this before, but…” she trailed off again, shuffling where she stood before pressing on. “I--I thought you didn’t like humans.”
A shoulder lifted, the barest hint of a shrug as he continued to stand there, almost glowing in the spill of moonlight that filtered through the trees surrounding them. “And you believe this has changed?” he asked, a note of genuine curiosity coloring his voice.
The miko appeared a little surprised. “I… well, there’s Rin, and,” she trailed off again and peered at him through thick dark lashes. “And, you seem to like me pretty well.”
Very casually, he folded his arms behind his back and turned away from her, his gaze angling toward the stars. “I no longer see you as simply human.”
She watched him more openly now and noticed the faint furrow as it gently creased his brow. Somehow she could tell that he was attempting to order his thoughts so she waited to see what he would say. “I am… aware of your humanity.” he said at last. “But there are many things that comprise who you are. The fact that you are human… it is no longer of any consequence to me.”
Kagome smiled at that. She supposed that was his own fancy way of saying that she was an exception to the rule. She wasn’t really sure what, if anything she had done to gain this rare acceptance from him, but it was, somehow even more flattering to know that he had made this allowance just for her. ‘Well,’ she amended mentally, ‘Rin and me.’ But it was still a pretty exclusive group.
Suddenly, not really understanding why she needed to know, Kagome cautiously asked, “Sesshoumaru… have you, have you ever been in love before?”
The daiyoukai gazed at her from the corner of his eyes. The question was mildly surprising, yet not entirely unanticipated. “No.” he answered with ease. “Love,” he began, and Kagome trembled at the sound of that word from his lips. “Is not common among youkai. Among lesser species, it is all but unheard of, and among higher species and daiyoukai, the concept is understood, but it is rarely if ever sought out.”
“Oh,” she said quietly, looking down to watch her feet as they shifted in the tall grass. She sounded a little sad when she asked. “Why is that?”
“Most see it as a sign of weakness. For demons, power is valued above all else, and deep attachments to others are often seen not only as an unnecessary distraction, but a potential liability as well.”
Looking somewhat crestfallen, Kagome remembered all the times Naraku had tried to take advantage of peoples’ feelings of love and trust. With Kikyou and Inuyasha, the results had been disastrous. With Kohaku and Sango, the results had been equally devastating. He’d tried to take advantage of her own feelings as well, but, now that she was thinking of it, he’d never really had any success in turning her against… well, anyone. In fact, she realized, a bit surprised, as she and their little group of shard hunters grew closer and closer, Naraku’s attempts at manipulation became less and less effective.
She supposed that there was an unhappy, bitter truth to what Sesshoumaru had said, but it didn’t always work that way. Naraku’s schemes didn’t always work, especially when the bonds between them became stronger.
Still, the miko felt the faintly irrational weight of guilt as it settled heavily upon her heart. Sesshoumaru hadn’t said anything about having fallen in love with her, but… the way things were going, it was within the realm of possibility that he eventually would, especially if she decided to stay with him. She didn’t want to be the cause of him doing something he didn’t really want to do.
“And what about you?” she asked, not sure she wanted to know the answer. “Do you think love is a weakness?”
She heard a soft sigh escape him, but he only returned his gaze to the stars, his posture still seemingly relaxed, his features calm and cool. For a long time he did not answer, and she felt her heart sink as she resigned herself to the idea that he probably wasn’t going to.
“At one point I did.” he finally told her, his voice sounding far away.
Considering his own words, he mentally weighed the truth they held against his long standing beliefs. Now, he was not entirely certain where he stood on the matter. His eyes clouding over with the intangible veil of memory, he recalled the times he had saved Rin from the perils that sought to end her fragile life. He remembered how furious he’d been when Naraku had kidnapped her, recalled how driven he’d been, in spite of his cool demeanor, to get her back. At the time, he’d told himself that it was merely because she was his charge. She was his to protect and he would not have his honor impugned by allowing harm to befall her, but of course, it had always been more than that.
He cared for her, had done so almost from the very beginning. He had not realized it, or perhaps he had been unwilling to admit it. Whatever the case, it was true all the same.
He turned, very slowly to look at the miko who currently shared his company. He wondered what he would do to ensure her safety. To what lengths would he really go to make sure that danger remained far, far away from her?
Perhaps… perhaps love was a weakness, but then again, anything that could act as a weakness, could also provide an opportunity to become stronger as well.
She was silent for a long time, her eyes staring blankly at the ground.
“And what of you?” the daiyoukai asked, surprising himself as much as her.
“What?” she asked, startled.
“Have you ever been in love before?”
The question sent a very unpleasant chill down Kagome’s spine, but somehow she managed not to fidget. She was sure he had known about her and Inuyasha. What would he say if she told him she had been in love with his brother?
“I…” she began haltingly. “I thought I was once.” she said, only realizing the truth in her words once they were spoken.
“And now you are uncertain?”
This time she did fidget. “Inuyasha…” she said, the name falling from her lips before she could prevent it. Taking a deep breath, she attempted to calm her now rattled nerves before she spoke up again. “I think,” she began, her voice cracking a little. “Inuyasha… he was my hero.” she admitted softly, her lips curving into a small smile. “He was always so brave and strong. He was always so protective of me, and had saved my life so many times. Then there was the way he was always jealous of Kouga… I think, I think maybe I got confused. That maybe I didn’t really know what love was, you know. I’m still not sure if I know what it is now but…” she trailed off, her eyes taking on a far away look as a tendril of dark hair, coaxed by the soft breeze, danced against the delicate curve of her neck. “Now that I’m really thinking about it, I think what I felt for Inuyasha was more of…a sort of possessiveness.”
The miko did not see the sharp glance that was cast upon her following her quietly spoken confession. Instead she continued to stare blankly into the distance as she silently considered her words, allowing them to really sink in for the very first time.
“Possessiveness?” the daiyoukai prompted when she did not seem inclined to say anything more.
She looked at him then and was only slightly surprised at how close he was now.
“Yeah, I think that’s what it was. When Inuyasha and I first met, he tried to kill me. Yet, I never really held it against him. For a while it was just the two of us, and even when the others joined, I was the only one he really went out of his way to protect. He acted like a jerk most of the time, but I could see through that to the person he really is.” she trailed off and gave another small shrug. “He’s really a good person on the inside you know. Anyway, when I found out about his vow to protect Kikyou, I felt so jealous. I guess I had just wanted to believe that I was special. Then, when Kikyou was brought back by that witch, Inuyasha renewed his vow to protect her and I…” she looked away from him then, guilt eating away at the pit of her belly as she recalled the less than charitable thoughts she’d had about the elder miko. “I know it’s selfish and really mean of me, but I remember thinking that it wasn’t right that he should promise to protect her. Even though she had been recreated and was able to move and think, she was still dead. I wondered why he would promise to protect her, when I was the one who really needed him. I was the one who was alive.”
Kagome felt the daiyoukai’s warmth as he moved closer to her but refused to look into his eyes, refused to face the judgment she feared to see there. She was so surprised when she felt the brush if his fingers against the underside of her jaw that she forgot to resist his efforts as he gently lifted her chin. When their eyes met, she saw no evidence of judgment, no disappointment or disapproval of any kind.
“Your desire was not selfish and your reasoning was sound.”
The miko gave a small sardonic smile. “Doesn’t make me feel any less guilty.”
“Hn.” the daiyoukai intoned blandly. Uncertain what, if anything he could do to assuage her guilt, he instead asked, “And what are your feelings toward the hanyou now?”
“I love him,” she admitted without hesitation. “But now, now I understand that it isn’t the kind of love I thought it was. It’s similar to what I feel for Miroku, Sango and Shippou, except it’s a little different. Not necessarily more intense… just… different.”
“I see.” the inu lord intoned and though there was no specific inflection in his voice, Kagome felt the need to reassure him.
“I don’t feel possessive of him anymore.” she said quickly. “I know he and Kikyou are going to be together and I don’t have a problem with that. After all, it’s the way it should have been all along.”
The demon said nothing to this and the silence unfurled between them. After the space of several breaths the miko asked, “Does it bother you?” Then realizing that her question was not clear she added, “I once thought I was in love with him…”
“It is of no consequence.” he spoke up before she could say anything more. “You have overlooked far greater atrocities leveled against your person by this Sesshoumaru, therefore your past affections for an inferior male specimen can be easily overlooked.”
It took the miko a moment to catch on to what he had said and when she did she frowned up at him. “Hey!” she managed, but was quickly arrested by the warm, slightly damp press of his lips against hers. Silencing immediately, Kagome instantly forgot the barbed comment he had so callously lobbed against her friend as the daiyoukai snaked his arms around her. By now he had kissed her a handful of times, yet each time was as surreal as the time before. Returning his embrace with the arm that was not wrapped around her small collection of firewood, she rose on sandaled toes to maintain the gentle seal of their lips.
Too soon for her liking, the demon lord parted from her lips and released her. A shy smile gracing her lips, the miko stepped back, turning away, no doubt to conceal the rosy hue that now graced her lovely face. The demon lord’s eyes remained fixed upon her, watching with interest as she tucked a few of her ebony tresses behind her ear. The desire to finish what they had started in the caves pressed insistently against the more wanton parts of his mind, (as well as parts below) but for the moment he would ignore it. The remaining members of their traveling party were drawing near and he had no desire to be interrupted again.
Resigning himself to the unhappy knowledge that he would have to wait for a more opportune time and location, the daiyoukai resumed his leisurely gate, the miko instantly falling in step at his side. Content to travel in silence, the pair continued to collect firewood until they came upon a small but suitable clearing. Once there, Kagome combined the dried branches they’d collected and started a fire.
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Swaddled in the thick white pelt that, as of late had nearly become a second skin for her, Izanami sat beneath the boughs of a small cherry tree, her shimmering green eyes staring glassily into the canopy of stars above her. Near to the young miko’s position, Mai and Akira sat in uncomfortable silence, each stealing glances not only at one another, but the young woman that sat between them.
As of late, she had become increasingly despondent and more antisocial than either female had ever seen her. She seemed to avoid anything beyond absolute solitude whenever possible, and even when she was forced to share the company of others, the miko tended to be mildly distracted. On this very evening, all attempts at conversation had fizzled out rather swiftly as Izanami gave little more than one word answers to any inquiry that was tossed her way, if in fact the miko answered at all. Even as her sentinel companions conversed among themselves in an attempt to draw her out, the miko remained silent, her inner thoughts a mystery to them as she stared blankly into the sky.
It seemed that her mourning over the mysterious Naraku was growing worse rather than better, and both females were at their wits ends as to what could be done about it. Her father, busy with the affairs of maintaining order in his house and lands, had not noticed the change as of yet while her mother, as usual remained up to her neck in the duties appended to a priestess of such immense power, that she was left with little opportunity to sleep, let alone notice the increasing dejection of her only daughter.
Perhaps the miko simply needed a bit more time. Feeling almost guilty, Mai lowered her head in thought. It occurred to her that maybe Naraku had not been the unsavory character she had pegged him for when they had first met. Apparently Izanami saw something in him, so it was conceivable that he had not been such a bad guy after all. Perhaps she should not have judged him so quickly.
“Lady Iza,” Akira spoke up, starting the cat youkai out of her thoughts. Slowly, as if waking from a trance, the miko looked at her. “The hour grows late my Lady. I believe that you should retire for the night.”
“Yes,” the miko agreed softly. Rising to her feet, she tightened the fur shawl over her shoulders, in spite of the warmth of the night air. “I believe the rest will do me a world of good.” she added, her small smile a distant echo of her normal exuberant demeanor.
Nodding, the hanyou stood as well and the trio filed back into the castle.
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The hour was late indeed and most of the castle’s residence had already bedded down for the night. As usual, the sentries responsible for the evening watch continued to make their rounds while all others were settling into the comfort of sleep.
Closing the shoji behind her, Izanami padded into her chamber, leisurely removing her outer robe and tossing it onto one of the many chests that housed her clothing. Making her way further into the room, she extinguished the soft glow of her lamps before lowering herself to her bed.
The crisp cool sheets of her futon were a welcome relief against the miko’s fevered skin. She had not realized how stifling the thick white fur could be until she removed it for her evening bath. The subtle, breathy sound of her tired sigh drifted into the stillness and the young miko closed her eyes.
‘Izanami…’
Her eyes fluttered opened, her heart racing at the sound of the unfamiliar voice. Her emerald gaze rapidly scanning the room, the female retrieved her precious pelt, drawing it up to her chin and fisting it tightly as she attempted to calm her frazzled nerves. “Who… who’s there?” she whispered fiercely, striving to sound more brave than she felt.
‘Come to me Izanami,’ the voice beaconed, its soft, masculine tone luring, seductive… dangerous.
The miko shot up in her bed, now certain the voice was not a product of her imagination. Frightened, she backed herself against the nearest wall, her eyes still frantically scanning the room for any signs of an intruder. “Who are you?!” she demanded, “Why are you here and what do you want from me?!”
‘Release me…’ the voice cajoled, its deep, alluring tenor lifting the hairs at the nape of her neck.
“Wh-what do you mean?”
‘Release me,’ the disembodied voice pressed on, ‘Release me and my fathomless power will become yours to wield as you see fit.’
The roar of her blood was loud in her ears as the female valiantly tamped down the instinctual urge to flee the room in terror. This voice was entirely foreign to her, though there seemed to be a vague familiarity to it as well. For the past few days, something she could not identify had been attempting to make itself known to her. Drifting just on the edge of her consciousness, the unnamed entity distracted her, sapped her ability to concentrate and managed to consume the entirety of her mind, seemingly without actually doing anything at all. Somehow she knew, this voice was connected to that entity. Perhaps it was the entity itself.
“Who…who are you?” she asked again. Her muscles were tense, ready to spring into action at the slightest provocation.
‘Is there no one you wish to see brought low?’ the voice asked instead of answering her question. ‘Is there no one deserving of your unrepressed wrath?’
Swallowing dryly, the female did not answer.
‘I know of your pain, Izanami. I know of your loss. I can feel the cold, empty space that resides in your heart. Someone was taken away from you, someone you cared for a great deal. Allow me to make it better, Izanami. Allow me to bring down the ones responsible for your anguish.’
“Yes…” the miko said quietly, a lone tear spilling down her cheek. “She… she killed him. The miko called Kagome… she killed my beloved Naraku.” her voice was a rasping whisper, her eyes distant and glazed over with unshed tears.
‘I will avenge him on your behalf, Izanami!’ the voice hissed vehemently. ‘But you must come to me. If you release me, my power will become yours to wield as you see fit. Do it, Izanami! Come to me!’
Her heart still racing, the miko clung to her pelt, her knuckles becoming increasingly pale from the strength of her hold. For a long time, Izanami did not speak, and while the voice remained silent as well, she knew its presence had not abandoned her. Her breathing became rapid as she thought of the wretched woman who had so cruelly murdered her love. Her eyes narrowed fiercely and the young miko whispered her reply.
“Yes. I will release you.”
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