InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Resurgence ❯ Chapter 13 ( Chapter 13 )

Blanket Disclaimer: I don't own InuYasha or any of the characters therein. They are the property of Rumiko Takahashi, and she does a beautiful job!

Please forgive any spelling and grammatical errors. I try to catch them if I see them, but I could have missed some. So just tell me if you see any, and I will change them.

Chapter 13

It was a crisp morning. The dew was still heavy on the ground.

The birds were singing their morning praise as the sun was making its slow rise on the horizon. The sky was covered in some pinks and blues, light oranges and yellows also made their way into the morning painting of the sky.

The summer set the greens in their perfect shade - the deep green that everyone loved so much. It also gave the air that earthly, clean smell. Nothing could smell like summer.

The estate was booming with noise. The halls were in an uproar of maids and servants coming and going from each room, trying to get all the decorations in place and making sure that every person was where they were supposed to be.

Sango and a couple others of my personal maids were working on my hair. My long dark tresses were thrown up in elaborate curls. Pins from my aunt's collection adorned my locks.

Once my hair was done they moved onto my face. I really did not want a lot of facial coverings, but as it was with the day of my wedding, my aunt and others expected me to look my most presentable, so I had every blemish covered. Every line and crease was erased as they worked to make me the most beautiful bride.

I had to roll my eyes at the stupidity of it all. I felt as it if was all useless. What was the meaning of going through all the shows and charades if I was truly not happy?

I felt a hand push me forward, “No slouching, Kagome,” my aunt admonished me. “You would not want a crooked back, now would you?”

I could only take in a deep breath as I rolled my eyes, “I suppose not,” I tried to answer as lightly as possible.

I really did not want to care about anything. I did not want to feel as if I was going to go down the aisle to marry a man that had raped me. I did not want to feel as a part of this day at all.

I wished that the drone that I was for those first days after the incident would come back. With my mannequin in place, at least I would not have to bear thinking that I said I do to a man that sickened every part of me.

Just thinking about it made me want to hurl. I felt the tiny bumps begin to form on my skin as my nerves set in. It was just a few hours away.

In that short amount of time, I would no longer be my own person. I would indefinitely leave little, naive Kagome in the dust and become the bride of Marquee Kouga. It had a nice ring to it for him, but for me, I would always be known as his wife, nothing more.

As the women were making sure I looked perfect, I could not help but turn my gaze out my window. It felt as if the last time I saw InuYasha was a lifetime ago. His penetrating golden eyes would never leave me alone. They were what would haunt my dreams if I went through today. They were what would make me want to cry myself to sleep since the last time I saw them… they were so pained. The pain ran so deep. I could tell that he was hurting as much, if not more, than I was.

I quickly shut my eyes.

I could not think about him. He was the one being I could not allow my mind to wonder to on this day, for I knew, as soon as I realized that Kouga was the one waiting for me and not him, I would not have the strength to go through what I was about to go through.

I know that he will find someone else though. The girl that will not always make him want to cry. A woman that knew the kind of man he was, the kind of love that he deserved. I could no longer give him that, and I was able to admit to myself that I loved him enough to let him go.

`I could not have loved you better,' I thought to myself as my lip began to tremble, `so I am already gone.'

There really was no other way around it. I did not want our love to run out, so I did the only thing I could have done, and I left before anything worse could happen.

No explanations were given to him, and I knew that he hated me for it. He hated me for not telling him anything. He hated me for not seeing him. He hated me for marrying Kouga, and most of all, he hated me for leaving him, but it had to be done.

Oh, how I hated myself when I came to this conclusion, and it was probably the hardest decision that I have come to make, but it needed to be made. I could not be unfair to him. He deserved so much better. So much more then what I could give him. I just could not stand aside and let this linger. I had to do something, and now he could move on.

I know that I will be stuck in my personal hell. I know that my torment is just beginning, but I also know that he has a chance to live his life with a woman that he deserves, and for that I would go to hell ten thousands times more over, if I knew he was happy.

I heard a happy sigh bringing me back to earth. I almost completely forgot about the woman still doing last minute touches on my hair.

“You ready, Kagome,” I heard my aunt call somewhere behind me.

I slowly turned towards her. I felt my eyes watering. Was I ready? Could I go through this? It really was a lot to think about.

I tightly closed my eyes as I let out a deep breath. My lip trembled. I felt the onslaught of tears coming, “Could I just have one moment alone, please?” I asked kindly, my eyes still closed.

There was a moments pause, “of course. Ladies,” she ordered, and then I heard them all leave my room and close the door behind them.

I brought my hands to my heart. I felt so cold all of the sudden. Was I really giving my life away and being selfish? Could I not do this and still not affect all those around me as I already have?

I have hurt so many in the process of my marriage.

My father was first on the list. I had never been demeaning to him before last week. I was always trying to be kind and understanding to him as he was to me, but as soon as…

I had to stop myself. I was not going there.

I took in another deep breath.

I also hurt Sango. I have not been myself lately. She can see that. I know when she looks at me; she no longer sees me, but this imitation I put in my place. She was always too insightful for her own good.

I put her in the middle of InuYasha and I. I really did not mean to, but she was my only link to him. I did not really ask that much, but with her close, I almost felt closer to him as well. It was a bit foolish, but it was the least I had to go on.

InuYasha was also on the list of the people I hurt. No, I really do not think hurt covers it. I am almost positive I broke him.

The day I broke, he broke also. We were always one in that way. When one was hurting, the other would hurt as well. Our love was just that deep. No words needed to be spoken, just being there helped, and by me not allowing him to come near me, I hurt him worse of all.

He knew the moment I would not see him or allow him to see me that it was over. We were through. He knew I was hurting, but I could not bring myself to face him. I could not stand him knowing that I had been treated in such a way.

I took in a deep breath and let it out slowly.

I was on that list as well, but I really did not care much about that. I was broken. I almost felt that by thinking about myself it made me more selfish. I know that I had been through so much, but with me not being able to cope with what happened, I hurt all others around me.

I took in one more deep breath. Letting the air slowly enter my lungs, and I let it out just as slowly.

I opened my blue orbs.

My emotions were gone.

I was done.

I stood up and ran a hand over my dress, making sure that everything was in perfect place, `ready.'

With that, I made my way out of my room and started my progression towards my husband-to-be.

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A/N: I am going to be making slight changes in the direction of this story. I know we have been following Kagome's POV for the length of the story so far, but in about two chapters I will be switching over to InuYasha's so that everyone can see how he is, and more. His section will be a lot more in depth, and I am just really excited about it! I was thinking about just making it like a sequal to this story, but since it ties in really well with everything that this story is going to be about, I am just going to have this story separated in three parts: the first part Kag's POV, second part InuYasha's POV, and third, the aftermath of where I leave off.

I want to tell everyone more, but I am why too excited about this, and I think you all should just wait and see what I have in store.

As always, thanks for reading and please review!