InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Right Here ❯ Right Here ( Chapter 1 )

Right Here
By The Quiet One

Everyday is the same. Kagome would wake, help Sango fix breakfast, take care of Shippo, and help gather up her things from camp and go and follow InuYasha off towards another life-threatening battle. It’s ironic really, he’s a dog demon but she is the one following him around like a lost puppy. The thought gave her a dark and cold feeling by it’s self. But here she was, still with him.

Over a short few months, and with a lot of help from Sango, Kagome had drastically improved with the bow and arrow. She could hit almost any target. And with the continued use of her powers, they had also begun to grow. Being useful to her feudal family gave her courage before InuYasha insulted her and took all of that away.

She knew she wasn’t Kikyo. She knew that she was the reincarnation of the dead priestess, but she would never be Kikyo. Kagome watched in battle how she shot continuous arrows in the face of danger she would have been frozen to.

For each of the countless times InuYasha had to save her, every one tore Kagome’s insides apart. Her inner demons told her that she was useless and he had never tried to convince her otherwise. She would silently cry herself to sleep whenever she was in her era, but she would never show that weakness in front of him. That would be the worse thing to do. He would just tell her to quit and get back to whatever they were doing at the time.

But even with all the insults, the horror and death she saw with him everyday, Kagome knew that she would never leave. The small caresses, the gentle looks across the campfire, and his strong arms holding her tightly always kept her by his side. The way he let her ride on his back when she was tired, and the way he would help people that would normally be his enemies, always made her come back. No matter how much he hurt her, Kagome knew she would always return to him.

InuYasha watched from the trunk of a great tree while his pack removed all the evidence of their nights spend in the secluded clearing. He kept a special eye on the youngest girl in the group. She was so grown yet so innocent at the same time and it fascinated him. She came from a time where the roles of adulthood were learned before experienced yet Kagome knew nothing about what her future held in store for her.

She had once told him that in her time, girls looked forward to many of the same things that women in this time did. She said she wanted a family, a home and a husband but she wanted a life outside of that. She wanted a job, friends and things that she could do with her time. She was terrified that if she did eventually marry, she would be shackled to the home and never have a life outside of her family.

InuYasha had once told her that the woman’s place was in the home and the man’s place was to work. Then she had given him that look. The one that made him feel like he was just stupid and didn’t know what he was talking about. True, he allowed Sango and Kagome along on the journey with them, but those were special circumstances. Sango was a demon slayer and invaluable in battle and Kagome, well she could see the shards.

He knew that wasn’t the real reason he kept her with them instead of sending her down the well, but he wasn’t going to admit it. Hearing Kagome talk about her desired future and the family she wanted made InuYasha’s heart drop. He felt that if he sent her down the well, she would find that husband and have that family that she wants. But that husband would never be him, and that family would never be his.

So he kept her with him always. She could go on their travels because he knew she could take care of herself but sometimes she got herself in way over her head. It scared him, and he usually yelled at her, but his biggest secret was that he liked it when she got in trouble. Then he had an excuse to hold her in his arms and keep her as close as possible. It gave him a guilty conscience, but he loved the way she felt.

He knew, every time she left down the well, whether it was for a few hours or a few days, he would always wait right here for her. Of course, he would get tired of waiting after a while and would go down the well to go get her and bring her back to the place where she was with him and not with her future husband. But if she ever had the well sealed, he would still wait. He would stay in that tree, watching the well, growing old, withering and dying, but he would wait.

His spirit wasn’t whole without her. If he died, his spirit would wander the earth until he found her again. He never wanted to let her go. But there was another spirit that would not let him go. In a sense, it was the same one he was after but it was different. Kikyo would always hold his heart captive. She would never let him fully love another. So the cycle would start.

He loved Kagome, and she loved him. Kikyo’s memory would plague him and he would anger Kagome to distance himself from that betrayal and she would run away. But her ever-loving heart would make her forgive him and come running back. Then the cycle would start all over again.

InuYasha promised to go to hell with Kikyo. It was a commitment made to punish himself. Kikyo realized this. She could see the guilt and the indecision in her past lover’s eyes and she exploited it. She knew it was wrong, that in life she would have let him go to be happy. But she wasn’t alive now. All she had, all that she was is hatred. She hated the living for the gift of life she had stolen from her. She hated the children she could never have. She hated InuYasha for not saving her from her life of servitude and her death of vengeance. She hated Kagome for the pieces of her own soul she was given. But most of all, she hated the gods for letting all of this happen to her.

She was a fragment of what she used to be. Stuck in one moment of another’s life. She did not have all of her soul, Kagome was allowed to keep those pieces, and all she got were the leftovers. So Kikyo tried to kill the girl from the future. If she killed the girl, then she would get the rest of her soul back, or she herself would die and become whole again. But that stubbornness she had in life had carried over and the girl would not die.

Kikyo was at a loss, until she saw the man she had blamed for her death. Then a plan formed in her head. She took away the only salvation her other half would have. She convinced InuYasha that he deserved to die with her again because he hadn’t before. She made him think that it was unfair that she had to die when he didn’t. It is true; it wasn’t fair that she died. Kikyo did not deserve to die, no one does. But the law of the gods is that people live and then they die. None of it is fair, but that is not how the world works.

She continually lured him back to her, keeping that budding relationship between her reincarnation and ex-lover from forming fully. Kagome was the only thing that could make InuYasha forget and dishonor his commitment with her. She couldn’t let that happen. She would tear them apart and disrupt the equilibrium of the world that the gods had put in place to take out her anger. But what Kikyo was too blinded by circumstance to notice that no matter how much damage she did, she could never rid herself of that anger. It permeated her entire being.

InuYasha would spend countless nights awake, watching Kagome. She was so different from Kikyo, yet completely the same. When Kikyo was alive, she was caring to every good-hearted creature that came across her path. The children of the village loved her and would constantly be giving her gifts of flowers or shiny rocks. She cared for the elderly and the sick, she was like the god’s answer to everyone’s prayers including his own. She had taught him so much, and continues to teach him through Kagome.

But in life Kikyo wanted nothing more than to leave her duties and be a normal woman. She no longer wished for the extraordinary life but the role of a village woman with children and a husband. In retrospect, it wasn’t a horrible thing to want. Any person that had this huge burden and stressful task to handle would someday want to leave it. He would someday wish to settle down and have that life, not hunting down jewel shards, battling demons, and endlessly searching for Naraku.

But he would never have that life. Kikyo would never let him forget that she had died because he wasn’t there to protect her. The logical part of his brain said that she wouldn’t let him protect her but the other part told him that he had been by her side before, but he had wanted a break to think. Think! Like he couldn’t do that with her in his sight. There was a possibility that other demons would know that the jewel was about to be wished away and attacked her, but he didn’t think to protect her.

Kikyo knew it. She told him so practically every time they were together. Her very presence brought out feelings that he had worked to keep hidden. Her soft words and cold body reminded him of his mistake constantly. He knew how Kagome felt about Kikyo and it killed him to hurt her, but the same pain was evident when he didn’t go to see Kikyo. He could see the pain every time he looked at Kagome for her pseudo permission to go, but he went anyway.

InuYasha was leaving to go see Kikyo again. And again he gave me that look. The one that said, “I want to stay, but I have to go.” I understood. I always do. That’s why I’m Kagome and she’s Kikyo. I want everyone to be happy and she wants to screw the world. But still he walks away. Will this be the last time he does? Will he come back or will today be the day Kikyo drags him to hell. Will he meet a youkai along the way and not be able to defeat it without their help? What if he comes across Naraku? Every fiber of my being tells me to go after him. To hold on to him and never let him go. To tell him that I love him and that he doesn’t need her, that it isn’t his fault and that he just needs to live and be with me. But I don’t. I never do.


So I will be right here waiting.

THE END
~@%@~
Wow. Ever since I heard that song, I was like “Hey! That’s how InuYasha, Kikyo and Kagome are!” I could almost hear their voices telling me all of that. So, yeah… umm, the song is “Right Here” by Staind. I love it and I hope you guys do to!
And that’s all I have to say about that.