InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Sango Dies ❯ Why We Hate Sango ( Chapter 1 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Okay guys, this is just a little drabble to express my annoyance at Sango for not going on paper right for me. She’s a whiney bitch and I hate her in fics. She’s not as bad in the anime because I like Kelly and what she does for the character, but on paper, Sango is just a pain in the ass. The only time she seems in character is when she’s pissed off at Miroku about something. I just wrote this to prove to myself that I can still write. To prove that my writers block is not just me, it’s the fact that I have to write Sango into the story now. Little bitch, now you die. Sorry guys, I rarely swear and usually only when I’m really frustrated. Well this should help to get my frustrations out. By the way, the girl named Christina in my story is… surprise, none other than me. Some things about the character will be made up so it’s as if she’s my alternate personality. How did I get to the feudal era? Who knows, I just woke up one day and found that I could go through Kagome’s well.

Warning: Swearing. Also be ye fore warned characters are just a bit OOC. I’m OOC too. This isn’t my real personality that’s why it’s called fiction.

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters here except…. come on people, should I really have to say I own myself? Whatever, just read this.

(Inuyasha, Miroku, and I are all standing around discussing all the things about Sango that we absolutely loath.)

“I can’t take Sango another second. I swear, if she cries about her poor lost brother one more time, I’m going to run her through with Tetsusaiga.” The group stood around contemplating the best way to let Sango know just how much she was pissing them off lately.

“Truer words were never spoken. I had better not hear another word about Kohaku. Besides that, that little bitch has slapped me for the last time. All I did was innocently grab her ample bosom and she turned into a monster right before my eyes. One minute she was kissing me and letting me run one hand down her thigh and the other up her side, and the next minute she was slapping me across my face as though I did something wrong. If she didn’t want me to touch her then she shouldn’t have been wearing that sexy cat suit in the first place. I think she was trying to tempt me just so she could have an excuse to slap me.”

“Hey guys, lets get rid of her once and for all. She’s screwing up my fanfiction. What do you guys think we could do to make her leave and never want to come back?” Christina looked to both of her friends for an answer.

“I know what we could do. What if you offered to bear my children Christina? We could kill two birds with one stone, or two stones so to speak.” (Did you losers get that two stones crack?) He said this with a devious twinkle in his eye. “I would get what I want from you and you would get the most pleasurable experience of your adult life. I have been told by many women that I’m quite good. I’m the favorite customer at many of the most reputable cat houses.”

Miroku walked over to Christina and reached out to take hold of her hand. She blushed at his intense gaze. (I really do blush easily people.) His beautiful lavender eyes bore right through her green eyes with the most intensity of anyone she had ever known. ‘Damn, she’s beautiful when she blushes.’ He flicked his eyes towards her mouth. ‘She looks so cute when she pouts like that; those sexy full lips are almost mine.’

He leaned in towards Christina’s ear and whispered something that sent her heart reeling. “You are quite a beauty my dear. Would you do me the honor of accompanying me to the nearest hot spring? I promise I am a generous lover. It’ll be worth your while.”

No one had ever had the nerve to say things like that to her before. They knew that she would use her martial arts training to kick their ass if they dared try anything. (Yeah right, I’m the most uncoordinated person you’ll ever know.) However, with the way he was looking at her, she could tell that he longed for her, and it made her want him too. She was about to agree to his proposal, when they heard a growl coming from deep inside Inuyasha’s throat.

They both looked over towards Inuyasha only to see him staring daggers at Miroku’s back. “What’s your problem Inuyasha!?” Christina stared at Inuyasha with a look of fury. How dare he interrupt them when they were about to go do the unthinkable in a hot spring. ‘Miroku is the hottest guy in my fanfictions after all.’

“Christina, y-you were about to… damn you Miroku. Wasn’t it enough that you stole Kagome away from me now you have to steal our author away too?” (Fan service moment ladies. Sorry guys, you don’t get one in this one shot. Maybe next time.) Inuyasha grabbed Miroku by his robe and yanked him away from her. As he pulled at Miroku’s robe part of it ripped revealing a very well defined chest. (Not as defined as Vash the stampede, who is of course my on going crush among others.)

Christina gasped when she saw his muscles tighten and contract as he maneuvered out of the half demons grasp. His robe was now tightly clenched in Inuyasha’s hand. “Get back here you pervert.” Inuyasha started after Miroku. Miroku ran around behind Christina and pulled her closer to him so she could protect him. His arms were wrapped around her waist tightly, so she wasn’t complaining.

Inuyasha was as determined as ever to get to the monk. “Fuck you monk. Let go of her, she’s mine.”

“Excuse me!? I’m who’s now? Maybe you should just sit down and take a breather before I decide to write a fic about killing you off too.”

Inuyasha sat down on the ground with a huff. “I just don’t see what you see in him.”

“Well, I’ll sleep with whoever I want Inuyasha. Frankly, it’s none of your business. Just sit there and watch. This can be your punishment for that comment you made earlier about me being yours.”

She reached around and pulled Miroku out from behind her. Then she turned them both to the side so that Inuyasha could get a better look. She traced his abs with her fingers then slid them up over his chest until they rested just below his collarbone. Wrapping her hands behind his neck, she pulled his head down so she could reach to give him a kiss. Their lips met for only a second, as she pulled away to see how Inuyasha was taking his punishment.

When she turned towards the half demon, she saw Sango standing there with a look that would send chills down anyone’s spine. Sango began her little bitch rant as usual then she started to cry and ran off towards the small rope bridge that hung over the cliff.

“See what I mean? She’s acting like such a spoiled little brat.” Miroku was extremely disappointed when Christina broke the kiss before he could explore her lips more fully. He was even more disappointed when he saw Sango standing there with that look that she always gave him when he was womanizing. ‘Jeez, I’m so sick of her.’

Christina was still hanging on to Miroku’s neck, unwilling to let go just yet. “Well, you’ve been caught with women before and she always sticks around. Maybe the only way to get rid of her is for us to write her out completely.”

“What do you propose we do?” Miroku asked her as his lips moved in again for yet another kiss.

“I’ve got it!” Christina proclaimed as she pulled away from him.

‘Damn it, I was about to kiss her again.’

“She went down to the bridge, right? It’s a pretty rickety old thing. She could… you know… have an accident. No one would ever know.” The group began discussing their plan to rid themselves of the witch that had plagued them for so long. “So what do we decide gentlemen? Do we cut the ropes or do we just push her off?”

“Well whatever we do we better give Kilala some catnip so she won’t go rescue the wench before she splats in the ravine below.”

“Good idea Inuyasha. I’ll find the catnip. What do we do about Kagome and Shippo? I don’t think they would let us do it if they found out.”

“I’ll take care of them. I’ll just write that they’re off picking blah, blah, blah and so on, with Kaede of course. I don’t think she would like if we killed our precious Sango off either.”

With each of their tasks complete, the group headed out towards their destination. When they got there, they saw someone standing on the bridge with Sango. As they got closer, they were surprised to find that it was Naraku.

Naraku looked up and glared at the others. “Watch what I do to your precious Sango, monk.”

He picked Sango up over his head and threw her over the bridge. She screamed as she fell to her death in the ravine below.

They all just stood there with their mouths hanging open. Was the witch really dead?

Christina was so happy that the bitch was dead, that she forgot herself for a moment. She ran out to the bridge and wrapped her arms around Naraku in a tight embrace. Then she pulled away and kissed him full on the lips. “Thank you, thank you, thank you. You did us all a huge favor.”

Naraku was confused. “Wench, are you saying that you wanted that bitch dead?”

“Yes that’s exactly what she’s saying, and get your fucking hands off of her.”

Christina was starting to grow tired of Inuyasha’s shit. Therefore, she decided that it was time to really teach him a lesson. “Inuyasha, what did I tell you about that? I’ll kiss who I want, when I want. Do you really want my next one shot to be about killing you off?”

“You wouldn’t do that to me, would you?”

“I just might. Now sit there and take your punishment like a good little boy.” She began making out with Naraku just to see how riled up it would make Inuyasha. Well, not just that, but just because Naraku was so damn sexy.

“Inuyasha my friend, will you never learn. I hate seeing our Christina kissing other men just as much as you do, but I don’t let her see that it bothers me. She seems to enjoy making men squirm.”

“I heard that monk. Just for that, I’m going to write another fic sometime where I make you propose to Sango, and guess what, she accepts. Now you’re stuck with her for life. Oh damn, now I am too.”

After that, both Miroku and Inuyasha decided it would be a good idea if they keep their mouths shut.

Well, that’s the end. It kind of sucked I know, but I just needed an outlet, and I thought that the only way for me to get over this whole Sango thing was to just write a short little story about our hate for her and our joy over her sudden death. If I get enough terrible reviews, then I’ll just delete this. Otherwise, it’s staying right where it is.